Radiating an aura of being perfectly fucking pleased with oneself is not necessarily the same thing as arrogance. Men who are just beginning their journeys to womanizer enlightenment will often overcompensate for their wasted years of betaness by copping an arrogant attitude. With time will come the wisdom to transcend arrogance and replace it with confidence.
Arrogance is not a good trait, but it is better than wishy washy niceguy syndrome. Despite women’s insistence that cocksure assholes turn them off the asshole will still get more pussy than the niceguy. WAY more. So if you’re on the long road to social and sexual reawakening and are hopelessly mired in niceguy celibacy it would be advantageous to be an utter dick for a while just to get a few calming notches under your belt.
Some important distinctions between the arrogant and the confident man:
Arrogant man – Gets defensive when challenged.
Confident man – Has nothing to prove.
Arrogant man – Sneers.
Confident man – Smiles.
Arrogant man – Childish.
Confident man – Child-like.
Arrogant man – Easily provoked.
Confident man – Undisturbed.
Arrogant man – Insulting.
Confident man – Teasing.
Arrogant man – Sarcastic.
Confident man – Witty.
Arrogant man – Braggart.
Confident man – Can afford a little self-deprecation.
Arrogant man – Aggressive.
Confident man – Resolute.
Arrogant man – Threatens.
Confident man – Mindfucks.
Arrogant man – Thinks a girl playing hard to get is a “bitch”.
Confident man – Thinks a girl playing hard to get is “cute”.
Arrogant man – Domineering.
Confident man – Dominant.
Arrogant man – Takes it personally if his girl doesn’t cum.
Confident man – Understands that she feels her greatest pleasure by pleasing him.
Arrogant man – Juggles girls.
Confident man – Invites them all over for an epic videotaping session.
“Confident man – Mindfucks.”
Huh? You threw this in on purpose!!
Confident man – Understands that she feels her greatest pleasure by pleasing him.
Aw fuck, the truth has been spoken and I was there to hear it!
It’s much easier to juggle girls than chainsaws.
I think this is your most important insight:
“Arrogant man – Gets defensive when challenged.
Confident man – Has nothing to prove.”
this is the same as having a huge ego vs. not having a huge ego. yo don’t need a huge ego if you truly think you’re awesome. so we’ve been talking about the same thing all along.
Confident man: knows when to whip it out and then tells her, “You know what to do with it”
Oh wait, that’s just me
Well, if it’s all about getting laid, then of course arrogance is better than wishy washy nice guy syndrome.
But if you’re after confident & intelligent women possessed of a healthy sense of self-worth, arrogance won’t get you any further than “nice guy” syndrome.
I think the only issue I really have with your chosen phrase is the use of the word “perfectly.” I’d substitute “legitimately”, I think. But that’s just me.
Narcissist – Insists on being right all the time.
Confident man – Creates win/win situations.
Narcissist – Smirks/Sneers
Confident man – Smiles and Glows.
Narcissist – Infantile.
Confident man – Mature innocence.
Narcissist – Highly reactive/easily provoked.
Confident man – Responsive not reactive.
Narcissist – Insults & flatters.
Confident man – Assertive.
Narcissist – Passive-Agressive humor.
Confident man – Laughs often.
Narcissist – Brags and whines..
Confident man – High self esteem. Can laugh at themselves.
Narcissist – Blaming others.
Confident man – Responsible
Narcissist – empty threats and passive-aggressive mind fucks
Confident man – determined and directed
Narcissist – Thinks women who aren’t interested in him are bitches playing hard to get.
Confident man – Doesn’t take it personally if a woman is not interested in him.
Narcissist – Heavy handed/never backs down even when wrong.
Confident man – Knows strengths and weaknesses and works to become stronger..
Narcissist – Feels inferior whenever his woman doesn’t orgasm.
Confident man – Knows his woman is deeply satisfied whether she orgasms or not.
Narcissist – Hides his sex tapes when he brings his dates home.
Confident man – Doesn’t videotape himself having sex or date bimbos like Pamela Anderson.
Again, these lessons seem to miss most guys. For whatever reason we always seem to cross that fine line, be it confidence/arrogance, childlike/childish, grooming/vanity etc. Once you learn to calibrate yourself better these lines become more defined, and that’s when you’ll see greater success in women and in life. These qualities are the qualities that everyone wants in their, friend, lover, co worker, boss, subordinate, etc. Confidence is the most important thing to success, and like Roissy said, it’s better to be Arrogant that wishy washy/acting like a wining bitch. The problem with arrogance, is that people will call you out on it, and then you’ll go into defensive bitching mode, which takes you right back to square one. When I approach any woman, or if any woman approaches me, I always remember that the girl behind her could be the one, and the girl behind me, is already interested so who cares if this one doesn’t like me, I’m just out to have a good time, and enjoy their company, if they don’t like me, then who cares?
Sexcellente.
Yo, you are really on a roll lately.
Unrelated, I know you like Stuff White People Like, check out this spinoff site I found:
http://stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com
Arrogant man: Only likes shaved women.
Confident man: Enjoys the Glorious Natural Pelt.
I vote for the natural pelt.
-when’s the next taping session?
Arrogance always beats out being the nice guy (not to be confused with the confident guy) — not because girls are attracted to assholes, but at least arrogance signals some degree of wanting to dominate his competitors. He’s being an ungracious winner (assuming he isn’t just lying about his accomplishments / qualities / etc.), but at least he’s more of a winner than a loser at what he does. Arrogance backed up by proof shows drive and ambition, which are more important than emotional maturity.
Grace, emotional maturity, and so on, emphasize your underlying level of value. If you’re high value, they make you even more desirable than arrogance. But if you’re low value, accepting your continual defeats make you look even more pathetic, like you aren’t trying to get out of your rut. Low value guys need to do all the bragging they can about what little they’ve got going for them.
Maybe an analogy will help: think of how long it looks like you took to get dressed and groomed in the morning. There’s a continuum from “thrown together” to “spent an hour or more primping.”
Some gurus say you should aim for the thrown-together look, so that you don’t look arrogant or vain. But what if you have low-quality clothes and a bad haircut / facial hair? Look at the customers in Wal-Mart and you’ll see the result of bringing “the coolness of casual” to low-quality material.
They had better spend a lot of time with clothes and hair because they have so little to work with. If they don’t, it not only highlights how bad they look, but suggests that they aren’t even trying to make an effort at self-improvement.
If you have high-quality materials, then yes it looks vain to primp for an hour, like you’re trying to lord it over everyone else. Then you can follow the haphazard approach, where you project effortless panache.
15 – Excellent Point!
Our culture/society believes and wants to reward Hard work, the American Dream etc. All this means is make due with what you have, or in simpler terms try to get better. If you’re already at the top work on other areas and stop worrying about the one strand of hair in the back of your head that took you 45 mins to get down.
Narcissist: Seeks revenge against women; destroys trust and passion.
Confident man: Asserts himself immediately; increases trust and passion.
Narcissist: Needs attention from women; flattery or abuse–the more the better.
Confident man: Wants positive attention from women.
Narcissist: Needs attention from women; flattery or abuse–the more the better.
Confident man: Wants positive attention from women.
The Narcissist needs positice attention, flattery.
The Confident Man knows that he will get it.
Woops.
positice = positive
Arrogant man – Takes it personally if his girl doesn’t cum.
Confident man – Understands that she feels her greatest pleasure by pleasing him.
WTF is this? If he fails, he shouldn’t be complacent and assume I don’t mind. That sounds pretty fucking arrogant to me. Because I WILL mind, as would most orgasmic women– regardless if he’s desired enough to move onto other women after his failure. Sounds like you’re trying to justify failures in your past as immaterial. But seriously; if she doesn’t come, it’s either because she can’t, or you failed. And if you failed, it matters. Even more if you roll over and fall asleep– you’ve crossed from “confident” to “arrogant,” and would never get repeat business.
Arrogant man – Takes it personally if his girl doesn’t cum.
Confident man – Understands that she feels her greatest pleasure by pleasing him.
Her: Wow, that was the best twenty-eight seconds of my life.
Him: I know. Your greatest pleasure comes from pleasing me. My coming more rapidly than the average television commercial is proof that you pleased me a great deal; thus, you feel a great deal of pleasure.
Her: I’m going to write a craigslist post detailing how terrible you are in bed now.
Exeunt
A woman’s greatest pleasure comes from having an orgasm with a man she’s both attracted to and who has the skills to make it happen. Simply pleasing him — which means getting him off, if we’re cutting to the chase — isn’t going to be enough for any woman attractive enough to be worth having sex with in the first place.
candy cane:
Confident man: Mature innocence
innocence? huh?
^ Will try to explain that later, if you’re really interested.
21 Reggie
Actually roissy is right but only if a woman is acting from pure animal instinct. A woman’s DNA tells them their very survival DEPENDS on pleasing men. Even though it’s no longer technically true, DNA has a very, very, very long memory. Instinct is such a powerful force that even most so-called modern women still strive to please men on all levels. That’s why negging works so well. It taps into a woman’s fears about survival. It’s a very reptilian yet affective approach.
Only those higher on the human evolutionary scale (Perhaps your wife? You are married, correct?) have managed to make a choice about whether and when and whom to please.
22 johnny five,
I have to use the words of Osho to explain. This is more poetic and intuitive perhaps; not logic, so I don’t have a lot of high hopes here…haha.
“Man’s evolution is from innocence to innocence. The first innocence is ignorant, the second innocence is luminous. The first innocence is a kind of sleep, the second innocence is an awakening. The first innocence is a gift of God, the second innocence is man’s own effort, his earning, his work upon himself. The first can be lost, the second cannot be lost.
Remember, whatsoever you attain consciously, only that can you possess, ONLY that. Whatsoever is given to you, and you receive it unconsciously, will be taken away. Only that really happens to you for which you work hard. Only that belongs to you which you create in your being. You become master of it.”
Actually roissy is right but only if a woman is acting from pure animal instinct.
General rhetorical note: Prefacing your argument with the word “actually” does not make what follows true. This also applies to “clearly” and “obviously.” It doesn’t make it untrue, either, but it tends to weaken your point when read by an audience with some level of sophistication.
Roissy’s context was clearly in the sexual realm, since the first part said something like “Takes it personally when a girl doesn’t come.” Thus, I was talking strictly about sexual pleasure. And anyone who thinks that the best way for a man to please a woman sexually is to show her that she pleased him is simply wrong — hence the premature-ejaculation example. It’s a part of her pleasure, sure, just like it’s a part of a man’s pleasure to know that his woman is enjoying sex. It’s just not the biggest factor. I wasn’t talking about sheer survival.
(Perhaps your wife? You are married, correct?).
Incorrect.
Reggie
“Prefacing your argument with the word “actually” does not make what follows true. This also applies to “clearly” and “obviously.” It doesn’t make it untrue, either, but it tends to weaken your point when read by an audience with some level of sophistication.”
I obviously lack sophistication and clearly am not trying to win any arguments, but actually and truly do appreciate your contribution to my education. Using the word “obviously” is an admittedly ego pumping device.
Regarding the other…I think I was sort of changing the subject as well, which I imagine could be annoying.
^ In general, I don’t belong here!
“Despite women’s insistence that cocksure assholes turn them off the asshole will still get more pussy than the niceguy.”
I was so many times accused of being an arrogant bastard.. Even by girlfriends..
But, they were having sex with me.. Not their not-arrogant “man”-friends….. Go figure.
“Confident man – Thinks a girl playing hard to get is “cute”.”
Ahhh…
Not cute, no.
A girl playing hard to get is immediately* put into the “Honesty with this girl ends. She is playing mind games. Play the game, fuck and chuck.. Maybe pump a few times, then dump. Lying is approved after this crap she pulls”
* Exceptions are virgins and girls who have banged only boyfriends.