At a social gathering with friends and lovers, I witnessed an attempted pickup unfold between an alpha male and a cute girl. We were a merged group of three girls and two men, including myself, and everyone there was known to me in more than a passing fashion. (I use the term “alpha male” as shorthand to describe the constellation of personality traits he possessed which gave him an advantage in the mating market. He is not a particularly good-looking man, but I suspect most girls would say he is at least not hard on the eyes.)
The girls with me knew that said alpha male was single and looking, (ladies, we’re ALWAYS looking), and pow-wowed with each other to find a third girl they knew to be single as well for a possible alpha male-cute girl love copulation. Apparently, not only do girls want alpha males for themselves, they also want them for their friends. It’s that primeval female harem-managing mentality rising to the fore.
One of the girls briefly absconded to another room and returned with a girl friend in tow who she wished to introduce to the alpha male. (I love using these terms because I know how much it chafes the asses of the right sorts of people.) The third girl was in transit to another subgroup, and her slightly puzzled look suggested that she did not know why she was being pulled over. After a round of hellos, I watched and listened, from as sly a vantage point as I could muster under the circumstances, the conversation that ensued between the alpha male and the cute girl summoned to unwittingly participate in his machinations.
She looked him over as he began speaking, and I could tell there lacked any sort of insta-spark of delight at his physical countenance. Nevertheless, a man does not become an alpha male by abandoning all women who don’t instantly take a shine to his looks. For the first minute or two, she would periodically glance at the girl friend to my side with that “why don’t you join in on this conversation so that I can impatiently slip away like a thief in the night” eye squeeze that women are so naturally adept at executing.
But then a funny thing happened on the way to a certain, subtle SWPL rejection where all feelings are spared in the most sadistic manner possible: the vibe turned in his favor. I can’t tell you the exact moment of redemption, but I can say that the energy between them got a boost in the second or two after he dropped what can only be charitably described as a couched insult.
“Well at least you’re still in your heels. Most girls like you are trading in for flats at this hour.”
Her head snapped back. She was at full attention. Gone was the exasperated sideways glance for a rescuer, replaced by flushed indignation that is the telltale mark of blood pipelined directly between the hamster and the vagina. A few hollow protests to the contrary notwithstanding, she fell quickly into his orbit and they were off to the races. He had pricked her safe and secure but ultimately flimsy bitch bubble, and she could not be happier for it.
Now some of you readers are sure to lay the credit for his success on that convo-refueling neg which slices and dices bland boring expectations like a ginsu. You’d only be partly right in your assumptions. You see, the neg was really just a culmination of something else, some other ineffable quality, that alpha males have in mass quantities: persistence.
Not that cringing, awkward, pushy, socially uncalibrated persistence that a few oddly aggressive beta and omega males employ, but the calm, controlled, almost serene persistence that doesn’t spook girls and which signals a strong, dominant masculinity that women crave. It might be more precise to call it “steadiness” rather than persistence.
The alpha male at this function knew she wasn’t immediately into him. The way he handled this “setback” wasn’t to slink away like a defeated herb, or pump up the volume in a desperate last gasp maneuver to capture her attention. He wasn’t implicitly apologetic for the convo lull (as if it was his responsibility to keep everyone entertained), nor was he giving any outward sign that he felt any pressure to perform.
He simply stayed rooted at his spot, never wavered in his eye contact, maintained a neutral vocal cadence, and never stupidly smiled to occupy dead air as so many less confident men are wont to do. He just kept… listening. And talking. And raising a single eyebrow. And leading the topic of discussion. And refraining from showing any discomfort with her feints to escape his company.
And that was how he won her. Slow and steady and persistent and unshakeable. His body language and unperturbed social grace was the foundation upon which she was able to lean for evidence of alpha maleness. The neg was only icing on his seductive cake. The best time to drop a neg is when it is least expected, not when it is obviously a craven effort to “win over” an intransigent girl. For him, the neg was an adjunct that complimented his entire game repertoire.
The alpha male is both aloof and persistent. His aloofness is more a vague impression that flows from his attitude, and his persistence is a dagger that sneaks up on women and chips away at their coyness. When you can finally grasp that seeming contradiction and apply it in real social interactions, your game will have matured immeasurably.
Never listen to man-haters aka feminists who claim that women don’t like persistent men. They do. Women love persistent men who are persistent from a position of want, not need. Women don’t love the idea of persistence because they associate it, perhaps justifiably, with overly aggressive meatheads throwing themselves at random vaginas during garbage hour. But now you know that there is better way to be persistent. And that you are doing honor to your alpha male ancestors by pursuing that scared little bunny to the farthest corners of the warren, instead of turning tail the first time the bunny hops away a few feet from your swiping paws.