To get the formalities out of the way – it took me 2 years but I’ve ascended from horrifying betahood into what I like to think is the domain of the lesser alpha. Either way, these days I GET things, and I see things for how they are.
However, there is one question that I keep wondering about – what is the perceived effect of omitting some alpha male rules? To be specific – showing up late. I understand the workings behind it, the DHV, and I have no problems with it if I am arriving into a social circle (“We’ll meet up at XXXXXXX at 8, see you there!”), but I loathe it when when people are waiting for me, and on one-on-one dates, I tend to arrive on time more often than not. Just how big is the effect of turning a blind eye to this or that game concept in favor of a more personalized style? How unbendable is any of the concepts depending on context?
Ok, spergs and strawmen, it’s time for a quick lesson in basic human reality. I can’t believe this needs saying, but apparently it does. You’d think some of this stuff would be inferred in CH writings, but never leave to inference what a hater with a chip on his shoulder will twist into a self-serving ego fap.
Alpha and beta are not discrete categories of man. They are not precisely numbered and annotated bullet lists of behaviors that, should you fail to fulfill one item or execute another item twice more than advised, will automatically shuttle you up or down the male sexual value hierarchy and leave you stranded there permanently. Alpha and beta are ecological designations with fuzzy boundaries but which are still nonetheless readily apprehended, much like a desert is distinct from a grassy plain yet one would be hard pressed to identify the exact border that delineates the regions.
So it is with your question. CH, and others, have suggested that it is good alpha mojo to show up five fashionable minutes late for a first date, because doing so subtly signals your higher relative value to the girl, and higher value, when you get right down to it, is the name of the game. But if you prefer to show up on time for dates, it isn’t going to deep six your sexiness AS LONG AS you have enough alpha characteristics in the kitty. If she arrives later than you and sees you at the bar waiting patiently, the immediate value differential she may perceive won’t matter if she also gets to watch you yukking it up with the patrons, and you greet her confidently and suavely and lead the date toward a sexual apex.
Furthermore, you can get away with committing a whole slew of bland beta errors if you have enough compensating alpha traits acting as a balance. This is why you will often hear alphas charmingly self-deprecate; they have so much value in store that it doesn’t hurt them to lose (in a controlled manner) a couple points here and there. In fact, it can help them, by making them seem more attainable to women.
To put it succinctly: The core tenets of game are universally applicable, but the culturally or individually attuned applications of those tenets can vary. Within reason.
It’s well known that masculine men and feminine women are natural partners, but are extroverted men and introverted women also natural partners?
An extroverted men is confident and well liked. He’s comfortable in conversation and can approach without being awkward. His popularity likely leads to social proof, and his social grace gives him high earning power in management, sales, and negotiation. He can provide emotions and resources to his mate.
An introverted woman is less likely to talk to random strangers, and therefore there are fewer opportunities for her to accumulate a count, or to stray in a relationship. The introverted woman sounds boring, maybe in bed too, but that is a trade-off many men make for a pure woman.
Extrovert man-Introvert woman: Good match. Strong love polarity. Dewy vaj at sight of him expertly working a room. Rock hard protective instinct for shy, modest woman. But she’ll wanna know just how much cheating, fucking around, and general mayhem he commits on his social sojourns.
Extrovert man-Extrovert woman: Explosive match. Strong sexual polarity. Will fuck in public locale on second date. Will never stop playing head games for the upper hand. Overpowering jealousy could lead to criminal indictment or revenge infidelity. Long-term prognosis: nonexistent. Paternity assurance: nonexistent. Domestic violence: Awkwardly likely. Anal sex: Guaranteed.
Introvert man-Introvert woman: Beta male fantasy match. Tepid sexual polarity, strong sensibility polarity. Best relationship in the world three weeks out of the month. Worst relationship in the world one week out of the month. Cuddles and kisses substitute for hot, penetrative sex until he goes Anders Breivik and acquires the inevitable mass murderer SMV boost.
Introvert man-Extrovert woman: Strong complementary match, if introverted man is more stoic alpha than retiring beta, and extroverted woman is more social circle glue than thrill seeking slut. Warm powerful love with puzzling bouts of sexual drought. High risk of cuckoldry. Must be comfortable dealing with flirtatious woman, i.e. avoid excessive mate guarding. Could be beta male’s first introduction to sniffing cocaine off a hot babe’s pert ass cheek. Powerful incentive to trade for lowered relationship expectations.
So I know the things a natural, alpha man *should* be doing. There is surface-level stuff that during my ongoing transformation I’ve directly incorporated, that I feel I’m still only midway from beta to alpha. There’s underlying, inner game that I have yet to become congruent with.
Reading posts on the ways naturals think and perform makes total sense, but actually *becoming* like that is something else entirely. What is the best way to actually make the transformation from beta to alpha?
Fake it till you make it was the mantra of game practitioners until it was supplanted by an even better aphorism:
Fake it till you create it.
You see, doing all that “surface-level stuff” will not just improve how you are perceived by girls; it will actually create a new alpha identity from your beta clay. An identity that is more than verbal calisthenics, one that instead goes to the id, and lodges itself in near-permanence. That identity goes by another name: The Attitude.
It’s never easy becoming something you’re not in your natural, lazy, default state, nor is it easy becoming something more than you are. So expect that the effort you’ll expend and mental anguish you’ll endure will be more intense if your starting point is omega male rather than lesser alpha. But you shouldn’t think in those terms. Instead, think that no matter what the shape of your final destination, your journey will bring improvements every step of the way. You may not land a hard 10, but you can date girls a bit hotter and a bit younger than you would normally had you remained stuck in the rut of your betatude.
If you think that’s no big deal, try asking a guy who’s used to dating 3s what he felt when he got a shot at that 5. Actually, don’t bother asking. You’ll see it in the way his eyes sparkle with life.
Anyhow, to answer the grist of your question:
1. Hang out with naturals.
2. Avoid losers.
3. Follow the 16 Poon Commandments at the top of this satanic repository.
4. Break up with a girl once in a while just to get a feel for the Awesome Power of Alpha.
5. Create a fake alpha male profile and taunt girls online with promises of dates to get a feel for the Awesome Power of Alpha.
6. Remind yourself that women are essentially interchangeable, and that there is always another one around the corner.
7. Outcome independence is a fancy term for believing that you are God’s gift to women. Take it to heart. It works.
A cute cashier gave me too much change ($12 too much). I was in a couldn’t-care-less-about-humanity mood so I took the extra change without shame even though she’d been friendlier than your normal cashier with a kinda shy greeting and goodbye.
Now that I’m back on terms with humanity (with my shame back) I want to square this with her because 1) the money will come out of her meagre pay so it is the right thing to do and 2) she was good looking so an excuse to talk to her again and only her not anyone else who works there would be welcome. It’s the kind of store you only go to once a week, twice at most, so I can’t go there every day to see if she’s working like I’m a nice guy desperate to give her the money back – her colleagues might remember me if I did - but if I don’t I might not see her there again for two, three or maybe more weeks which would be too late – or would it? What to do?
PS - There was some confusion during the cash transaction so saying I didn’t pick up on the mistake at the time is plausible. Maybe enough confusion that she remembered it was me she gave too much change too.
Most Valuable Commenter nominee PA used to say that his preferred method of tipping was to handsomely tip single, older men and be stingier with young, single women. The subtext in his strategy is obvious: single older men who are working service jobs need the sexual market value boost a lot more than do single, younger women. In addition to that noble motivation, enriching young, single attractive women makes it harder for beta males to woo them, and easier for alpha cads to use them.
Naturally, most men do just the opposite. That is because most men are mediocrities.
So, in your case, Emailer #4, I wouldn’t fret that your foul mood-induced ill-gotten pocketing of a cute girl’s coin is some sort of karmic offense that will redound to your reincarnation as a field mouse. If anything, you did the world some good.
But you want to
violate her holes date her in a gentlemanly manner, so here is what you do:
Go back to her shop, $12 in hand. (Or, if you’re a craven SOB like me, $6 in hand.) Look her in the eye. Hold the pimp daddy wad of money up. It doess’t matter how much she remembers of the previous transaction, or when it happened. Tell her, “You gave me too much change. Here. You know, you don’t have to treat me like a male stripper to get my attention.”
Or: “I’m getting tired of girls paying me for dates.”
That should be enough to coax a smile and get the ball rolling. Report back to us.