Esteemed and slightly deranged readers, a contest is in order to determine the best, all-purpose alpha male text response that a man can send to a woman who is behaving womanly. By “womanly”, I mean head games, coyness, and the usual panoply of female shit tests intended to weed out the wilting betabois from the alert alphas. By “all-purpose”, I mean a response that can be slipped seamlessly into the flow of most text conversations with a girl whom you are trying to bang (or not bang, but just fucking around with for flirty fun) that serves to heighten her curiosity and sexual interest.
An all-purpose alpha male text ideally would be:
1. Short and sweet. Chicks dig opaque men.
2. Funny and/or witty.
4. Endearingly dismissive and cocky.
5. Borderline assholish.
6. Sufficiently ambiguous that it can be used as a reply to a variety of soft or hard challenges from women.
The following ten contenders for Most Alpha Text (MAT) are the collected gems culled from the best of the Chateau archives:
“gay” (credit: el chief)
“Little spoons don’t ask big questions”
“lotstas ccockas 4u lzozozozoz”
Think hard about this vote, because your life depends on it.