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A reader generously offers a glimpse into the mind of a woman stricken with “five minutes of alpha syndrome”.

CH,

Having been a regular reader of your blog for a while now, I couldn’t quite join-the-dots in the general ‘5-Minutes-Of-Alpha-Beats-5-Years-Of-Beta’ (or variations thereof)
I couldn’t quite see it working in the ‘Real World’.
Until last night.
I contacted a woman from a well-known online-dating site that requires a strong rod and large net.
The woman: 44, 5’8″, Mom-of-one, blonde, pretty, maybe a solid ‘7’ with her war-paint on, separated from nice guy husband of 12 years, recently split from relationship with BF of 7 months.
The Boyfriend: 45, 5’7″, fire-fighter…really average-looking but with serious ‘issues’.

I was initially pulled-in by her looks and IQ (she’s a smart woman, a buyer, by trade) and a comment she made struck me: “I’m scared I’ll never find the level of intensity I had with my Ex”
Me: “What, with your husband?”
Her: “No! My Bf”
(husband, apparently was a tall, handsome guy, 6’3″, but had two things not going for him: ‘Nice Guy’ and liked to crush a 6-pack each night)

Anyway, we met.
For a drink, at 20:00pm, a bar not far from where either of us live.
We left at 22:45pm, after each having a single drink each, mainly because of her life-story of the last ‘X’ months with Fire-fighter Bf.
I could wax-lyrical about it, but it’s best set out in list form:
* upon first meeting, she said “the sort of man I wouldn’t look twice at – he’s 5’7″ for God’s sake”
* didn’t even date him for at least 3 months after 1st meeting, and he pestered me daily for a date
* finally met and things took-off (in her words, “sexually, emotionally and mentally…it was intense, daily”)

Then things start to slide:
* he breaks her left-cheekbone with a straight-right
* deletes names of male co-workers and friends from her iPhone
* secretly hacks into her FB account and sends ‘Don’t contact me again’ messages to male contacts
* constantly, calls, queries and questions her about where she is and who’s she’s out with
* rips her off for 86,000
* finally after 7 months she dumps him and throws him out.

Cue:
* paint poured over her Audi A3
* hate mail sent daily
* threatening phonecalls made multiple times daily
* bogus online-dating-agency profiles created and setup to monitor her on website
* fellow friends recruited to keep tabs on her
* drives by her home multiple times a day, checking up on her

Finally, the police are involved.
They urge her to press charges, a) for the physical assault and b) threatening behaviours

What does she do?
Protects the fuck out him, claims she doesn’t want him to lose his job or get into any trouble.

And the clincher? She spent the whole 2.45 hr date talking about him (liked to call him ‘Twat-Face’, and this whole sorry episode to me, her supposed date.
No matter what I did, no matter how blasé or cool I was about it….she just looked like she’d rather be anywhere else but on a date with me….
Why?
Because I wasn’t him.

Thoughts, opinions, rants?

Yeah…

Chicks dig jerks. And Ross Douthat handwaved.

Less glibly, yet another reason to avoid a long-term relationship with a woman who has amassed an above-average number of sexual partners in her life is that the odds increase that she has dated, fucked, and fallen deeply in love with an asshole. And though she was able to extricate herself from his intoxicating grip to one day go on a half-hearted date with you, his memory continues to scour her dreamscape. What man who isn’t a desperate loser needs the extra headache?

The girl with a lot of past lovers is never alone. You aren’t sitting across from her at a bar; you’re sitting across from her and all the cockas that rocked her.

My advice:

Date virgins.

Ok, that’s a tall order nowadays.

Your next best options, should an execrable date of this nature ever occur again, are to fight asshole with asshole.

Flirt with another woman in front of her.
Text while she’s talking about her ex.
Keep changing the subject. But make it obvious that’s what you’re doing. Humor helps. “You ever wonder what it’s like to piss in a moving elevator?”
Lay down the man law, in so many words. “If you want a shoulder to cry on about your ex, there’s a gay guy I know who’s much better at this. Don’t worry, he won’t judge.”
Get up and leave without warning. This is your last card, and it’s an Ace. Don’t be afraid to play it. You shouldn’t be spending three minutes, let alone three hours, of your valuable time listening to a woman bitch about her ex, anyhow. That’s beta male scarcity mentality.

Whatever you do, don’t sound jealous or butthurt. This is a game, treat it like one.

The advantage will be yours because a clear and present asshole trumps an invisible asshole. And given her history, you may be the new asshole who helps her get over her last asshole.

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Pulled from a sexxxy players’ forum, here’s some advice for older (or younger) men who want to know how to handle large age differences, particularly as the issue applies to online dating, where inclusion of age in the profile is required.

I lie on my dating profile and put it 7 years younger.

When I get asked my age in person I tell the truth.

Then they say “but your profile says xx”

“Oh, yeah that’s because when I had my real age on there all these old chicks were messaging me as if I want that”.

Then I make a comical shudder.

Hasn’t failed me yet.

Almost poetry. Why does this work? One, he’s assumed the sale. “Why *wouldn’t* younger women want to be with me?” Girls love that. Two, he’s implied his high mate value. “I have options, and age-appropriate women aren’t one of them.” Three, he’s demonstrated that reckless, careless asshole attitude that drives women crazy with desire. “Yeah, I faked the funk. What of it?” Four, he’s implicitly qualified and complimented her. “I’m with you, which means you made the cut.”

This technique can be used for real world interactions as well. The effectiveness will depend to an extent on how invested in you she has become. If you later reveal your real age with an insouciant disregard for her potential outrage, her ability and willingness to forgive and forget will be directly proportional to the love, or lust, she feels for you. You can do this with a lot of conventionally perceived mate value negatives that may deep-six a courtship before it has had a chance to get off the ground. Strategically omit any facts about yourself that you suspect deviate from her “Mr. Right checklist” until a later time when her 463 bullet point checklist has surrendered to her one bullet point vagina tingle.

One other thing… as one of the forum members wrote, a redirecting, strategically deployed compliment can go a long way to defusing female indignation over your naughtiness.

When/if she finds out, just smirk, “did you really think I was 25?”.

Then be impressed at her ability to find out your real age. Chics love thinking they were clever and can’t be fooled.

This is Sun Tzu seduction: Using a woman’s fondness for flattery against her. Just be sure it doesn’t come across like a last-ditch hail mary. Delivery matters. Pleasantly amused surprise is what you should shoot for.

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Stanley Kubrick On Game

Hat tip: Sunny Bunny.

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The Young Alpha Male

A reader watched a future heartbreaker lavish alpha male love on a hot woman.

Witnessed this pre-Alpha moment at a family restaurant waiting area last week:

HB8 sits down next to a ~5 year old boy

Boy: Hi

Girl: Hi!

Boy: You smell like my grandma!

Girl: What! That’s not very nice.

Boy: I love my grandma

Girl: Oh ok! Well that is adorable. What is your name?

Boy: You’re…goofy! *walks away*

Perhaps a loyal young reader?

When I see the tightest of game in action, it’s like listening to the crescendo in Beethoven’s Ninth through noise canceling headphones in a living room dimmed by twilight. Time slows, the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight, and all the beauty and love and possibility of the world pour into my heart in that moment. This boy, practicing an ancient art which comes naturally to his sex but which he will probably relinquish as he grows into a young man assaulted by schoolmarmish do-gooders, weak beta males, and feminist propaganda, has crafted a work of seduction art so pure, so innocent, and so transcendent that Ovid himself would honor the young ladyslayer in poem.

There’s the bold approach…

Hi

the teasing neg…

You smell like my grandma!

the refusal to backpedal and the accusatory reframe…

I love my grandma

the swatting away of the beta bait, the teasing escalation, and the magisterial takeaway…

You’re…goofy! *walks away*

My Son, I am your Father.

Naturally, spergs and dweebs and misfits will cry up to the heavens from their dank fap prisons that the caprice and recklessness of the boy child holds no lesson for the adult man. To act like this boy, they would claim, invites disrepute and women’s scorn. They know so because they were told so by the skepchicks and gothghosts passing through their lives.

Experienced men know better. This conversation would fit right in place between a scrotally vital charming tomcat and his curious field mouse. About the only thing that would be different is the sexual percolation powering the words into a froth of raunchy promise, and the “incidental” erogenous touch that would accompany the grown alpha male’s playground ponytail tugs.

“You smell like my grandma” is hereby declared “Neg of the Year”. Thank this precocious boy for showing you how to act more like a sexy man.

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Two girls fighting over one man. This delightful menage a twat won’t be the theme of any mainstream rom-com any time soon, because the alpha male these two babycakes are fighting over is, allegedly, Arron (sic) Lewis, mystery meat marekiller currently suspected of murdering Arkansas real estate agent Beverly Carter.

“Well I guess you made up your mind cuz you are still texting him.”

Chicks dig jerks. Chicks dig taken jerks. Chicks, at least as far as we can tell by their actions, dig taken jerks who lie to them. Bonus digging points if said jerk has a rap sheet.

Indignant white knights nursing an excessively protective instinct toward women which helps themselves feel useful in the world will doubtless wail, “But he lied to her! She didn’t know he was a jerk!” This sort of thinking betrays a lack of exposure to the jungle dating market. I don’t see either of these cute-ish girls giving their sex to honest, law-abiding beta males. I see them fucking a lying, murdering sack of filth. And getting into girlfights over who will be his number one. The alpha male soft harem in action.

If you have any sort of experience with cute girls, you know that when they hook up, and stay hooked up, with lying assholes they know on some level with a quickness that these guys are lying assholes. Now of course their spinning hamsters will rationalize away their gnawing suspicions and oddly exciting discomfort, because these sexxxy bastards are just so intriguingly sexxxy and arousingly bastardly. It’s similar to how a smitten beta male, unable to think straight because his brain is awash in nutritious fresh squeezed pussy juice, will spin or ignore or sugarcoat evidence that his hot girlfriend is drifting out of love with him.

Hm, she hasn’t texted me since yesterday. Probably forgot to charge her phone.

The pricked self-preservation senses of the jerk-loving girl and the girlfriend-loving beta male tell them one thing, while their captured hearts tell them another. As love is the second most powerful emotion in the universe after jealousy, and tied with hate, the heart usually wins these contests of wills. And never really stops winning, even when it is finally denied the satisfaction of fulfillment.

***

A confused commenter avers,

The women we’re talking to each other about LEAVING him not about how much he makes their vags tingle from the power.

This is exactly the kind of misreading that one would expect from a Pollyanna pedestal polisher. Women don’t argue with each other in novella format over a man they don’t love anymore and truly wish to leave. A woman who has fallen out of love and wants to leave a man won’t turn over her decision a thousand times, nor argue about it with the man’s other lover. She’ll just leave, and her reasoning, if her spurned boyfriend demands it, will be uncharacteristically — for her sex — perfunctory. “I just don’t feel it anymore. I wish you the best.”

Only experience with women will enable a man to understand their different reactions to men they no longer love, versus men who have hurt them but whom they still love. Let’s put it this way: If two girls are fighting exhaustively over how to leave you, you’re in the gina seat.

Ya gotta read between the id-storm of lines, brethren. Or should I say sistren. *eyebrow raise*

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Spot The Alpha

I expect a few literal-minded readers to take the wrong lesson from this photo. “Phonebomb game! So if I just check my phone over the shoulder of a girl I’m kissing, she’ll notice out of the corner of her smitten eye and fall harder for me.”

While Phonebomb Game may very well increase your desirability to girls, the real game lesson to draw from this snapshot is how behaviors, brash and subtle, reflect a man’ attitude toward life and women. This guy, looking kind of dorky truth be told, is wrapped in the arms of a girl, looking kind of pretty in profile, because he undoubtedly possesses the sort of alpha male insouciance toward life and romance, as demonstrated in his cavalier division of attention between girl and phone, that drives women crazy with lust.

If he’s checking for texts from other girls in his rotation, then the odds this particular girl has relinquished her backdoor to him are 30% higher.

***

Spot the alpha, part 2.

Tight, solid, thick lack of PDA. I wanna see just how aloof he can get.

We can say that alpha males universally never appear needy.

***

Spot the alpha, part 3.

Aloofness level unlocked: Whirlpoolside.

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Alpha Male Of The Month

It’s been some time since CH has featured an exemplary alpha male.

Alpha Male of the Month, Candidate #1: Sean Stephenson

A reader writes,

Check out the alpha male smirk while taking a picture with his wife. Dude got shit on by god and decided to take life by the balls.

Stephenson is a motivational speaker (yeah yeah) and is familiar with the pickup community and game concepts. I believe he has appeared as a guest at (pre-married, pre-new age weirdo) David DeAngelo’s seminars.

Sean is living proof of the extreme end of what a man can get himself with game (and fame). As an extreme, he is an inspiration, but one should caution against using him as an aspiration. If you’re deformed like Sean and think you can score what Sean scored, you will very likely be disappointed. This disappointment will turn you away from game into the arms of PUA hate websites where misfit omegas with chips on their shoulders go to assuage their loneliness by raging against better men.

***

Alpha Male of the Month, Candidate #2: Humphrey Bogart

A reader astutely notes,

He’s ignoring Marilyn Monroe and [Lauren] Bacall is staking out her territory.

Pretty sure Bacall was Bogart’s wife when this photo was taken. No wonder she’s got the kung-fu grip on his thigh. Bogart will never be mistaken for a handsome man, but his skill with women was legendary. Naturally, Bogart had his fame and achievements to scaffold his rough mug, but according to those who knew him he also had game, aka charisma.

A lot of actors who play smooth-talking lovers on screen are also that way in real life. Actors either have an innate aptitude for channeling charming mofo archetypes that is there long before they choose their careers, or their work reverse-leaches into their personal lives.

The voting:

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