Archive for the ‘Game’ Category
Reader BuenaVista apprises,
From the Field:
So, in WashDC there’s a fairly prominent meat market for the middle-aged and well-suited: the place lawyers, senators, TV talking heads, CEOs lobbyists go in their ill-fitting suits to hustle women. It’s called Cafe Milano. The dynamics are like any Beverly Hills cafe of similar stripe, only it’s DC: DC is Hollywood for ugly people. Young women from the age of 20 up through women pushing 50 are in this place. Later in the evening it often gets quite insane when all the working men go home and the place fills up with Middle Eastern men chasing shiksa tail.
This is where I went last night to experiment with the difference between “high energy” and laconic “low energy.” I had a date so I went half an hour early for my experiment.
I was the only guy in the place not wearing a tie or sport coat; I had on a flight jacket, black sweater, jeans, Guccis, no socks.
I’m not funny, when ad hoc, in most instances, unless “irony” counts as funny — and it usually doesn’t. So I resolved to just smile, speak up, raise my eyebrows, and engage — i.e., the opposite of laconic pilot leaning against bar waiting to be chosen. In the first five minutes I looked straight at the Russian girl serving a full bar and quickly entered a five-minute conversation about the merits of American rye, how long she’s been in the country, what she drinks at home, and how funny is this shit with all these fat guys hustling Georgetown girls.
That last part is your best game. Knocking the pretension of other men is a time-honored technique for raising your own value.
I would say I was looking directly at her, only smiling to punctuate, listening, querying, listening, commenting. The bar was busy but she talked to me. I would estimate that she is 25 years younger than I am. She served me and my eventual date well all night and slipped us a couple freebie bottles of sparkling mineral water.
The next person I spoke to was a 45 year-old in a Chanel suit, cheekbones like Charlotte Rampling, a German accent, and a firm bust and small waist that means: Yoga every single day. This was a divorcee of some apparent means. In the past I just leave these women alone and they either open me (life was better when a woman could ask for a light in a bar, at least it was better for introverted me) or I didn’t talk to them. I turned, smiled briefly, complimented her on her suit,
A good neg here would have been “That’s a nice power suit you’re wearing.”
asked her if she had just come from an event of some sort, smiled, queried, commented, smiled, queried. I asked her what she would like to drink and ordered her glass of wine for her from the Russian. She name-dropped her summer place, I’ve been there many times, which school her son attends, blah blah blah. I don’t think I have done something like that more than five times in my life. As *her* date entered and was coming to grab her, I slipped her my card and she gave me a look that, perhaps unrealistically, said, “I just might follow up on this.” I didn’t get her number because I didn’t have time once her lawyer/lobbyist/whatever showed up.
She’s 45 years old. The odds that she’ll follow up by taking the initiative and calling you are far better than if she were her 25 year old self. The fear of the Wall has a way of focusing minds and opening legs.
Question: is “high energy” reducible to: choosing to open, managing the rhythm of the conversation and keeping it moving moving moving with a focus on her her her, not slobbering all over her looks, treating her more like the au pair than the princess the au pair works for. I mean, I can do this. This is little different than opening a potential business contact, male or female, on a long flight someplace.
High energy means you lead the conversation and don’t give her a chance to frame the interaction to her liking. Well, it means that, among other meanings. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you “focus on her her her”. You can be high energy and just shooting the shit about anything.
Or is it really this: halfway through the evening another software ceo, very successful guy, very notorious for his harems and runins with the SEC, was holding court with his usual gaggle of staff and the groupies the ceo always has about. Then he stood up (he’s kind of a short guy with a plain face, but he’s worth $500mm) shouting about some shit I couldn’t understand and his group started roaring. I’m never doing this: I think he’s a buffoon, albeit one with a net worth I’ll likely never approach.
Half Billion CEO dude is already preselected. He DHVs just walking into a roomful of people who are familiar with the local business scene. A guy like him could go high or low energy, it wouldn’t matter. His army of lackeys at the ready to laugh at his dumb jokes is all the game he needs.
Or, if it requires R. Brand levels of realtime wit and invention, forget it. I will never attempt that.
Any comments appreciated.
(See, Ya Really, I do actually go out.)
Low energy isn’t the same as being a wallflower. High energy isn’t the same as being an interrogator. Either method, you’re interacting with the express purpose of pushing it toward a carnal conclusion. The difference is how much dead air or dud utterances you’re willing to risk. Low energy is sexy, but vulnerable to competing distractions. High energy is captivating, but vulnerable to self-sabotage. I’d say if you’re hitting on hired dushkas or wealthy cougars, go lower energy. You might even gain points for establishing a contrast between yourself and the cackling suck-ups slobbering Half Bil’s knob.
There are two fault lines running through an otherwise generally cohesive mass of seduction literature. The first, and better known, is the long-simmering war between direct and indirect game proponents. (Smart players use both.) The second, less known, is the tension between those who advocate high energy game (aka social alpha) and those who believe low energy game (aka stoic alpha) produces the best results. (Again, smart players resort to both high and low energy as the circumstance demands.)
In archetypal terms, high energy game = Trent from Swingers, low energy game = John from Nine 1/2 Weeks.
Low energy game is CH’s preferred method of applied charisma, but high energy has its usefulness, particularly during those first few critical minutes of meeting when the needle on a woman’s attraction thermometer is still swinging wildly and waiting to settle on a hot or cold temperature reading.
Low energy game is:
Best suited for one-on-one.
High energy game is:
Best suited for crowds.
There’s a strong introvert/extrovert divergence here that maps closely with a man’s preferred pickup energy level. Introverts will be more comfortable with low energy game, extroverts with high energy. Energy level also varies intra-game; you’ll be higher energy at the outset and downshift to lower energy during the comfort, i.e. leather couch, stage.
However, I’ve known plenty of introverts who can tolerate, and even relish, “acting out”. The catch is that introverts socially exhaust themselves faster than do extroverts, and need a time-out to recharge. A short burst of energy is about all an introvert can muster before he begins turtling as the realization “hey, i’m the center of attention!” hits him. Introverts therefore should focus their unrenewable high energy firepower when it’s most needed: during the meet and entreat.
Some will argue that a man’s looks dictate to a degree the energy level that will most benefit him. I won’t get into that discussion for this post, but readers may engage in the comments. I’ve heard differing theories on the matter, and my real world observations don’t lend much support to one theory or the other. Broadly speaking, uglier men will need to be higher energy in the beginning of a pickup, in order to “cut through the noise”.
Energy level also influences your mode of verbal communication. A high energy man will necessarily speak a lot more words than will a low energy man. Astute readers will note that this apparently violates Poon Commandment V: adhere to the golden ratio of giving your woman 2/3s of everything she gives you, verbosity presumably included. But the Poon Commandments are better understood as lifelong guidelines rather than specific pickup tactics that apply to every situation one may encounter along his romantic journeys. There will be those times when it’ll be to your advantage to say more than the girl in your company.
Nevertheless, there’s no denying that, on the whole and in the general, women love men who aren’t blabbermouths. The more of your store you give away, the less she’ll want to browse your product line. Enigmatic men are alluring. Succinctness is sexy. Ambiguity is alpha.
On that point, a regular reader writes,
You can use shallow communication to get positive association principle benefits in your dating life and life in general.
If you ever meet a powerful person, like your CEO, they really don’t have much to say. “This is a nice day!” “The Blackhawks looked great last night.”
Ditto if you see press coverage of the Pope, Queen, or President working a crowd or rope line.
The reason is simple: more people want to talk to powerful people and powerful people need to budget their attention.
The more you invest in deep substantial conversation, the smaller the number of people you must have in your life and the less attractive you become.
A man with many women can’t know everything about them. Seeking to learn everything about her is going to work against you over time.
Making statements versus asking questions subcommunicates less desire to learn about her.
That’s probably the main failing of stalkers, and she’ll think you’re a stalker if you know everything about her, which is exactly the opposite of what she wants.
Shallow communication is alpha. Listen to alpha males banter: it’s almost all jokes and taunts and teases and sharp comebacks (when required). Then listen to beta males banter: droning, nerdy expositions on boring topics, receivers more often than givers of gibes, conspicuous inability to disengage from dying conversational threads, stilted speech in place of charming quips.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a time and place when the alpha benefits from “deep” conversation with a girl. Women like when you ask about them, but only after some attraction has been sparked. Women also like when you open up about yourself, even if in a guarded way, when they’ve decided they want to know more about you. The comfort stage isn’t just some afterthought tacked onto the seduction process. It’s the meat and potatoes of pickup. If you don’t “connect” with a girl in a meaningful way, all you’ll have are a few laughs… and a dry dick.
All the points the reader made above are true, and most crucial when the dance of love is just spinning up. You hold your cards close at the start. You make statements more than you ask questions. You stick to superficial topics instead of delving deeply into your listener’s life and values. These behaviors are, undoubtedly, the hallmark of the alpha male.
But what if the girl doesn’t know you from Adam? You’ve just walked up to her, a stranger. Four-word vacant blurbs about the weather aren’t going to cut it. A chill, laconic, 007 pose over a martini glass is great if you’re already preselected as a man of interest. But if you’re the average guy without a license to thrill, you’ll need to do more than cock an eyebrow as the rim of your glass hits your lips. You’ll need to talk and, more often than not, talk a lot, if you want to engage a girl and get her invested in the outcome.
You square this circle by recognizing that shallow communication is not the same as terseness. You can talk your mouth off without really saying anything. “You girls look like you’re having the most fun here…” is an excellent prelude to a two-way exchange of ideated emotions, but it’s not exactly the stuff of profound thought. It is, however, high energy. If you watch Tyler Durden’s videos, he’s the classic example of a high energy player whose communication during the attraction stage is almost entirely substance-free. He rarely uses any “getting to know her” tropes. “Getting to know her” is the feeble strategy of earnest betatude.
If low energy game is more to your liking, you’ll need to locate venues where one-on-one sit-downs are possible. Any of the usual pickup spots are more favorable to low energy game on weekdays than weekends. Target events that cater to girls who don’t grok the club scene. If you can’t find it in you to amp up your energy level, then daytime game will feel more right to you, where crowd-owning court-holding isn’t a prerequisite for love. Finally, work on your bounce and isolation techniques. The sooner you can move a girl away from a busy social scene to a quieter, secluded pre-bone zone, the sooner you can switch to your preferred low-key, smirk-inflected, laconic cad game.
A reader promised to donate if his game-related question was answered. That’s one way to perk the overlord’s ears.
I’ve returned with another question. If you answer it, I’ll donate $50 to your site.
My preferred game is day game. While day-game master Krausser seems to hit up touristy/shopping areas for his work, I live in a city with a large college campus and use that. There are ample young hot women here, but I feel it’s a difficult to get the same-day dates/f-closes because I’m hitting on many of them between classes.
Therefore, I can accumulate tons of numbers during the day and often leave the girls with a warm feeling because of my charisma and bold charm.
Before the coolstorybro.txt crowd chimes in, remember that chicks dig overconfident men. So let’s at least give this guy points for lying with good intentions.
And while I can escalate some of these numbers to dates via text, there’s one test I’ve had difficulty surpassing: girls who demand my last name before going out. I understand that girls are programmed to try to disqualify men, and I see this is an attempt to do so by using my full name to stalk me on the internet for disqualification material. Unfortunately, a simple search of my name will bring up that I worked for a company that many women may view as a disqualifier.
RSD? RNC? Brothel? Center for Immigration Studies? PornTube? Animal testing lab? Men’s Rights Advocacy Group? Rockstar Games? The Church?
The tactics I’ve used previously are telling them I’ll give it to them when I see them on the date, which I’ve noticed sounds sketchy in their minds, and calling them out as being “creepy stalkers.”
It’s not so much that it sounds creepy, but that it sounds like a lame ruse to get the girl to go out on a date. Although it does sound creepy, too. But then not any creepier than it sounds to ask a man she just met for his last name.
Your feedback would be appreciated. Posted below is a recent example of such an interaction with a girl who demonstrated interest, but I couldn’t hit because of the last name game.
Her: “What’s your last name?”
Me: “Trying to stalk me”
This tactic is well and good, and can serve in a pinch, but nowadays chicks are so freaking socially awkward and guarded that implicit disqualifications don’t even cut the mustard. By socially awkward, I mean it’s just downright weird and borderline aggressive to ask a guy his last name before the sound waves from the “hello” have dissipated. She may as well ask for his college transcript while she’s at it.
A better reply would pursue that theme of her social awkwardness:
Her: “What’s your last name?”
You: “You were raised in a barn, weren’t you?”
Tingles are birthed in the defensive crouch, so you should have replies at the ready which force her to account for her weird behavior. If you’re wondering why calling a girl a stalker isn’t as effective a counter-measure as taking a dump on her social graces, know that in the state of nature men are more prone to the destructive kind of stalker behavior than are women. Therefore, hitting that “casual stalker” angle against a hard-nosed bitch won’t rattle her as much as docking her points for speaking like a low class Walmartian. You’ve got to find your foe’s thermal exhaust port if you want to leave an impression that lasts.
Her: “Just answer my question ;)”
You didn’t say if this was a text-based or a face-to-face convo? No matter, the vibe is the same: cunty. You really should take the gloves off when you’re dealing with a woman who asks direct, probing questions in an aggressive male-like manner. Women with this bad habit act like this because they’ve been burned by cad lovers and are therefore emotional basketcases and likely candidates to have cluster B personality disorder, or they have manjaws that can carve ice statues and clits that can double as laparoscopes. Luckily, most chicks aren’t like this. Was she a lawyer, by any chance?
Me: “I’ll tell you tomorrow when I see you ;)”
I get what you’re doing here, but the Assume The Sale redirect won’t work on a bitch in full bitch mode. You’re gonna have to go mano-a-womano. She doesn’t sound flirty, she sounds combative. Being flirty in response won’t defuse an aggro combatgrrl. You need to fire a bunker buster at her hardened perimeter defense.
Her: “Sorry that’s not happening. You randomly walk up to me but won’t tell me who you are. I don’t play that way”
Giveaway. She’s played that way; that’s why she feels a pressing need to tell some random guy she just met that she doesn’t play that way. She definitely has a past littered with the detritus of assholes who burned her good and hot. You’re just getting caught in her delayed return fire.
Me: “That’s cool. I like human interaction. Not looking for more internet stalkers”
You bowed out here. It was a respectable bow-out that certainly did no harm to your dignity. There was an opportunity to keep this thing going, but it would have required a bolder move. Suggestion:
You: [lie] “My name is von Robespierre. Now… say my name.”
The bitch comes off like a M1 tankskank. A load of double buckshot asshole game to her face is just the systems crash she needs.
Her: “I’m about to go out with you. Do you even go here?”
This blurb of hers seems out of place in the context of the conversation you have posted so far. Is it a typo?
More internet stalkers? I’m sorry but I’m a girl and I have to be careful. I like human interaction too but it’s only fair I know more about a random person. I need to know I’m not about to be stalked by some complete stranger who won’t tell me anything about himself”
She won’t flirt, she talks like a corporate mission statement, she’s got a single-minded focus on a (for now) unimportant personal detail about you, and she co-opted your stalker accusation and used it against you. Conclusion: No Fun Girl With Issues. Abort Mission.
(Alternate conclusion: You’re trolling the CH readership. In which case you get points for leading us on until the end of the post. Cocktease!)
I’m surprised you hung in this long. She must be eminently boffable, that is, until she opens her mouth. If she’s still an option, try the suggestions above. Better yet, don’t reply at all. Leave her huffing hamster fumes, wondering why you won’t come out and play her idiotic game of cuntupsmanship.
On a less glib note, you might want to work on your attraction game. If girls are routinely responding to you in this interrogative fashion within seconds of approaching them, you’re probably acting weirdly and pinging their shady character radar. A mysterious charming cad identity is great until you overdo it and set off alarm bells. This is why low energy, aloof alpha game is sometimes less effective in the beginning stage of a pickup with a random girl; that low energy is more apt to be misconstrued by a girl who has never met you as the deliberate affect of someone who doesn’t have much to say otherwise, (or who has to stay silent because he’s a subpar conversationalist).
Day game and street game are especially sensitive to the downsides of mysterious cool cat posturing, because a cold daytime approach 1. is inherently more discombobulating to women than would be nighttime approaches in expected places, like bars, and 2. requires greater verbal investment to capture and hold the woman’s attention. You aren’t sitting on a couch in a hip lounge, beckoning tipsy girls with your curled finger; you’re walking up to them on the street sober as a reformed minister and taking them out of their mindless daily rhythms. The dark, brooding stranger with a mysterious past act isn’t going to fly in that environment. It’s plausible that a condition of this sort of approach is that you be ready for probing questions from girls wondering who you are and why you’re bold enough to hit on them in the broad daylight when every other man has their eyeballs glued to an iPhone.
Never let it be said CH shies from bringing to the world the more devious applications of game. This example crops up in the player literature now and again: pretending to be gay to score same night lays.
If you’re the type of man who prefers winning to behaving ethically or manfully, you can’t go wrong with Fake Gay Game. But don’t whip yourself too hard for delving into the darkest of arts. All women are complicit in their seduction. Yes, even when they are seduced by men pretending to be gay. After all, she can leave his den of deceit any time. No one cuffed her to a bed post, or forced her to try and “convert” a gay guy.
Running a multinational corporation? No. Pretending to be gay? Now that’s how you bang out the modern American woman.
National Geographic has an illuminating series on alpha males in the human wilds, documenting a slew of experiments which demonstrate that the term ‘alpha’ has validity as a descriptor of the top dog in emergent human male hierarchies. The bitter sperg denialists of the CH worldview are gonna have to retire their empty-headed argument that alpha is a taxonomic term that only applies to wolves.
There’s a lot to chew on in this video, so take some time to watch the whole thing. Right in line with Heartiste game techniques, the experiments vindicate the idea that adopting “power poses” and other mannerisms of the alpha male pack leader can actually make a man feel more alpha, and more importantly will make him be perceived as more alpha by other men and by women. This is nothing less than total validation of the game concept of “fake it till you make it”.
- Being a big man automatically confers alpha status, but the effect is contextual. A small man with the right attitude, as you will see later in the video, can out-alpha a big man.
- Conversely, being a little man automatically confers beta status, unless the little man acts in a way to dispel the assumption. So, yeah, you shorter men have an extra hurdle to clear that taller men don’t have. But it is surmountable.
- There really are body language and voice “tells” that reveal whether a man is alpha or beta. These subtle mate value cues have been discussed numerous times before on CH. Check the archives. A man with tight game knows that body language and tonality — how to stand, sit, make eye contact, speak with authority — are crucial components of seduction.
- Don’t ever put your palm facing up when challenged by anyone. It’s a classic submissive gesture.
- Remember, when shaking hands, try to position your hand so that it lays slightly atop the hand of the person you’re greeting. Most people will acquiesce quietly to this dominance move. (Knowledgable CH readers will notice it right away and attempt a counter-maneuver, resulting in a hilarious hand-twisting spectacle resembling a game of thumb wrestling.)
- It’s better to hold eye contact to the point of discomfort than to avert your gaze prematurely.
- Men with salt and pepper hair shouldn’t bother getting it dyed. The touch of gray is a high status cue. (Note: Does not work the same for women, who will just look old and unsexy with gray hair.)
- When you hug, make sure your arms are on the outside of the hugbox.
- Take up space, own the space, claim other people’s space. Any vagina within that space will then assume it is subject to your jurisdiction, and behave accordingly.
- A smaller, less stereotypically masculine man, can out-alpha bigger and harder-looking men by using simple mannerism tricks. Proof that alpha is more about attitude than appearance.
- Don’t sit at the corners of a rectangular table.
- You might think that being the Number 2 Alpha would be enough to get plenty of girls, but female hypergamy is insatiable. Number 1 gets exponentially more attention than Number 2 gets from women.
- Alpha males PROJECT their voices. I have yet to meet a successful salesman who didn’t have a booming voice that commanded attention. You may think an obnoxiously loud voice is the Call of the Douchebag but, you know, chicks dig douchebags. Are you gonna bitch about it or are you gonna play to win?
- There’s a reason a seductive male voice is a register lower in tone: It sounds dominant. For those men who don’t have naturally deep voices, it is possible to practice speaking in a lower tone, and to avoid reverting to a higher-pitched beta singsong. See the “get out of my box” experiment in the video. Really outstanding demonstration of how a stronger vocal tone can immediately command respect and obeisance from others.
- Having a woman around you, silently and subconsciously judging your male qualities, can boost your alphaness. This may explain the phenomenon of beta male orbiters; perhaps they realize on some deep level that they act stronger in the company of a woman than they do alone, or with other men. This doesn’t compensate for their wretched beta supplication and willingness to be used as emotional tampons, but you can’t fault them for trying to find and exploit any edge, no matter how trivial.
- The “sneaky fucker” strategy really does work.
- Direct game (like the kind Naftalie uses on the girl at around the 28:30 minute mark) has its place in any man’s arsenal of allure, but it’s clear that bold direct game is a high risk, high reward proposition. If the girl doesn’t take your direct game bait, you can quickly be out-alphaed by *her*. Indirect game is lower risk, lower reward but, like the parable of the tortoise and the hare, it’s my observation that, over the long run, the ingenuity of indirect game will result in more successful pickups.
- For those interested in the racial angle, it appears black men have more “up front” alpha body language — that is, black men engage in more conspicuous alpha displays such as strutting, bellowing, and space monopolizing. But white men (and in particular nerdy ectomorphs) have a compensating version of alpha game that can neutralize heavy-handed posturing by more physically aggressive adversaries: They lean on their smarts. (See the tech-savvy display at the 27:30 mark.) There are, indeed, plenty of exceptions to this rule. See, for example, the total lack of strutting by another black guy in the group, Isem.
- Open body language beats closed body language, nearly every time. Exception: Any time a beatdown that you want to avoid is imminent. #LiveToSeduceAnotherDay
- If you posture or behave like a beta male, you will FEEL like a beta male, and women will practically SMELL the beta stink on you. So make it a habit to posture like an alpha male as often as possible. That alpha male posturing will transform you into a real life, breathing alpha male, even down to your hormones.
- WE ARE HARD-WIRED, BIOMECHANICAL AUTOMATONS carrying out the directives of ancient genetic algorithms. We are also expert at deluding ourselves otherwise.
- Acting like an alpha isn’t all poon-chasing fun and games. It also lowers cortisol levels. Low stress is a formula for a long, healthy life.
- Alpha humans, like alpha apes, react to the world with amused mastery. Grace under pressure is chicknip. Sometimes it’s to your benefit to sit back and let the beta males and the women squabble amongst themselves.
- At around 36:00 minutes in, we see what happens when the putative alpha male of the group, Naftalie, is challenged by an interloper alpha male (the AMOG). This scene is great as a teaching aid for how to handle AMOGs cramping your style. Commenter YaReally will be very pleased with this scene, because it affirms a lot of his anti-AMOG tactical knowledge; namely, stay calm, stay positive, groom the group, and don’t let the challenger get under your skin.
A few final thoughts:
Some men, like Naftalie, are great alpha males of MEN, but not so great alpha males of WOMEN. This is a not so uncommon disjunct that one finds in some leaders of men who are not very good at being seducers of women. We all know that captain of industry (in whatever flavor) who nonetheless acts like a dullard or an oaf in the company of women. Generally, alpha males of men are also alpha males of women, as the dominance required for the former is also attractive to the latter. But disjuncts do occur, and this opens windows of opportunity for men who may not be leaders of other men, but who are leaders of their own emotions and experts at speaking the female language of love.
Under extreme duress or threat, white knighting as a strategy to bang women may actually work, (see the last experiment in the video). But you have to be prepared to back up your white knight posturing with real intention.
Ever notice how most primatologists in the field are women? It’s almost as if… chicks dig dangerous apes!
Chateau Heartiste is proud to see the concepts of this community, and the wider game community, spreading into the mainstream. I expect the whining and shrieking denials of haters to reach a very beta-ish fever pitch in the coming years.
One more final thought: For those of you men still doubting the seductive power of alphatude, think on how you feel when you see a gorgeous woman with an hourglass figure, bodacious titties, and a firm round ass pass by you. Now remind yourself that the immediate thermonuclear blast of lust which you feel then is the SAME feeling that women have when they are in the company of a dominant alpha male. They, like you, can’t help themselves. It’s just the way they were drawn.
I was initially confused about the purpose of this short video Mystery put up for public consumption, until a reader explained that it was about anchoring.
Lawdy I was blind and now can see! But really I’m kind of ashamed I missed the thematic elements, knowing as how I’ve anchored a few beautiful babies in my life.
Anchoring is a game technique that has its foundation in the school of persuasion known as neuro-linguistic programming. It is exactly what the word evokes: a psychological technique that “anchors” an emotion or feeling to a physical, auditory or verbal stimulus. Most people are familiar with Pavlov’s Dog, the experiment which showed that a dog can be conditioned by a ringing bell to salivate in the expectation that food is coming. That is probably the most well-known example of anchoring.
Applied to the science and art of modern seduction, anchoring is a powerful tool that operates mostly on a woman’s subconscious. The intention is to first create a positive feeling in the girl, then anchor that feeling to an object, body motion or turn of phrase, and then elicit the feeling later through the use of the anchored stimulus. The womanizer doesn’t even have to be in the company of the girl for anchoring to work its magic. She could stumble upon the stimulus on her own, and the good feelings she had with him will be evoked in the silence of her own company.
For instance, in Mystery’s video, he’s framed a discussion about how life is short — “pick up the broken glass yourself, because you never know how life unfolds” — and anchored that feeling of fleeting time (and consequently the urgency to live life to the fullest with sexy cads) to a piece of glass — “keep that as a souvenir, it is no longer broken glass, it is now fairy dust to remember this moment” — which, if the conditioning is successful, will cause those feelings associated with him to flood back every time she fondles the glass in her pocket.
Anchoring, then, serves the womanizer in multiple ways: it associates good feelings with himself which can be recalled by the woman any time the anchor is stimulated, it pushes out the influence of competing alpha males (a fondly recalled moment in time will thwart the intrusions of other men, almost like a shadow AMOG), and it fortifies the womanizer’s inner state control.
On that latter point, a self-stimulus that anchors a positive memory to an object or motion can be used by men to summon confidence before doing cold approaches. To set it and later activate it, think of a time you masterfully bedded a high quality woman, and then perform some small hand motion, like a wave or a fist clench. Do this enough times and, so the theory goes, the hand motion alone will induce those same good feelings you felt when you earned that expert level bang.
Effective anchoring uses linguistic tricks like tonality, compliance hoops and future pacing — note how Mystery lingers on the phrase “you never know” and repeats it a few times, and how he gets her to do something for him, which increases the amount of investment she perceives she has put into the interaction and, thus, the “connection” she feels with him. To the male ear, Mystery’s schtick sounds like gibberish; but women have finely tuned antennae that pick up these subtle signals of mate compatibility. The science of seduction is, paradoxically, a blueprint that abandons linear male logic for a journey into female mental landscapes shrouded in mists of vaporous emotion.
By the way, Mystery is now in his forties, still shooting tingles through pink-haired vixen vajflesh.
For those of you men routinely scouring the bowels and spit-shining the lacquered coifs of both ends of the dating market, the issue of age discrepancy, in either direction, is a fairly common one and, if not properly neutralized, a potential cockblock on the road to vaghalla. The good news is that gliding past any age issues is easy, and is the reason why a good game strategy often employs the tactic of initiating the subject of age before the girl brings it up and locks you into her frame, (and remember that a female-defined frame is, as is usually the case in nascent seductions, antagonistic).
Personally, I like to start off a budding romance by psychologically knocking a girl back on her heels, especially if I sense that some intractable circumstance beyond my control threatens to derail my meaty Maglev. For instance, if the target of my predation is an older woman (read: north of 25) whom I suspect, by her body language and attitude, to be excessively confident in the staying power of her fading beauty, I might quip, “I’ve never met a real life MILF before”. Is this a compliment or a curse? That’s the point. She won’t know, and the not knowing is the brain lube that psyches her up to the possibility of receiving my generous endowment.
If, on the other hand, my muse is a younger woman of shy disposition signaling an organic discomfort with any coupling that may not conform to societal standards, I might loosen her up with a jaunty “You’re just a kid. Are you still on Team Edward?”
Anyhow, no matter the springboard which bounces the age discussion above the fold, if all goes as expected she will reveal her age (never accurate), and then the opportunity I need to deliver a pitch-perfect age neg presents itself.
“32, eh? Wow, that wasn’t what I expected.”
Said with pleasing sincerity, not sarcasm. You can stash the smirk for this one; you want to convey the impression that your expectations were genuinely unmet. And it works no matter what her age.
Think about what this neg does to a woman’s underdeveloped capacity for self-reflection. She’s momentarily stunned by a terrific tingle bolt of ambiguous candor. Now her brain has to process what it means, and no accessible neural algorithm is forthcoming. “Was he expecting me to be older? He must think I look young for my age. Or is he surprised that I’m younger than I look?”, deliberates the older woman. “Was he expecting me to be older because I look or act older than my age? Is he uninterested in me now? Or did he think I was younger? Is 24 old for a girl nowadays?”, deliberates the younger woman.
Whether she presses you for clarification, or attempts a hasty face-saving segue, or tries to pull a snark rabbit of faux righteous indignation out of a grrlpower hat, you win. You sit in the judge’s chair, your alpha judginess parting vulvate parapets from the bar to Timbuktu. If you must offer an explanation, season your reply to taste. But always, when possible, remain ambiguous.
“Oh, nothing, I just figured you were older/younger than you are. Based on how you sit/stand/act/laugh/dress/order a drink/behave around men like me.”
Defensive crouch achievement: unlocked.
Need some CH readers help. Been going out sarge’n by myself lately. I never do this, trying to throw myself into my fears. I’m 30 so time is not on my side.
Unless you look unusually prematurely old, time is most certainly on your side. Most men hit their *physical* sexual attractiveness peak in their mid 30s (as long as they don’t get soft and pudgy). Men can sustain their *attitudinal* sexual attractiveness well past their 30s and into late middle age. The point of this reminder is to wake you from falling into very bad and confidence sapping feelings of self-doubt. Chicks most certainly do not dig self-doubting Thomases.
I met this Hawaiian girl at a bike festival with her gay friend(guy). She had an amazing body, big ass HB 7.5. face was alright nothing amazing. We all talked for a bit, I got her number about 10 minutes into the convo. She gave me a free token for a beer/basically bought me a beer and told me I had “nice eyes”.
I’m just gonna assume she’s not an industry worker.
Anyways they were leaving and asked if I came alone I said yea I was gonna meet someone but they bailed.
Fibbing is always better than DLVing. (Demonstrating lower value.) Don’t tell a girl that your friends “bailed”. Tell her you bailed on them to chat up new people.
She said come with us to the street fair you aren’t doing anything.
An in-demand man is always doing something. She’s already trying to box you into a beta corner. This is an example of a mild form of shit test that many women will utilize without really being aware that they’re doing so.
I told her there was a party later and she and her friend should come and I was going to hang around. (bad move right??).
Not necessarily. Manufactured scarcity can be alluring. And you want to avoid following a girl around like an affection starved puppy. But if she’s really showing interest in you, it’s better to push for more time together than to retreat from the playing field by promising to meet at a later time. To put it simply, if the road is opening up to you, hit the gas. Don’t park and wait for a tow.
I thought I could ride out my high and stay approaching.. I guess this is a good lesson in know when to close the day?
Right. The point of approaching is fucking. Not more approaching.
I text her later on that day
Me- ” hit me up if you want to come to the party”
her- “ok for sure”.
Never heard from her.
Could be any number of reasons why she went cold. But I’d start with your phrasing. Don’t write “…if you want to come to the party”. That’s pleading for her company. Instead, state “come to the party at X. see you there.” AAS. Always. Assume. The Sale.
1 day later I text her around 10:30 am a funny meme that has samuel L jackson from Pulp Fiction pointing a gun and say “morning mother fucker”
If she was a friendly guy you just met would you be sending him funny memes the very next day? No? Then you shouldn’t be sending them to a girl you just met. Remember, dude, you hardly know her and you have better things to do. Why would you waste time trying to cheer up a girl you talked to for a few minutes, unless you were some needy beta desperate for a love connection?
Listen, girls can SMELL value on a man from twelve parsecs. They can sense it like you can visually tell the difference in nanometers between the right and left boobs.
nothing all day, until 10:30 I text her again..
me- I owe you a beer unless you handed out free beers to every guy who approached you
So far the texting ratio is decidedly not in your favor. You’ve sent three texts to her one text. Look up at the Jumbotron. Are you proud of your works, Oxymandias?
a day later
her- “haha so they all owe me beer”
She texted you A DAY LATER. This dynamic should be the other way around.
How should I attack this?
Lost cause. You’ve shown her nothing of worth except “nice eyes”, and that plus a buck will get you a cheap coffee and an afternoon fap. You want my sincere advice how to attack this? Go nuclear. Text back:
Just like that. No punctuation, no nothing. Only The Asshole Force can save you now.
I feel like I had the upper hand
You never had the upper hand. Do you think a girl’s compliments mean anything? Attention whores toss out glib flattery like candy in order to stoke the chase in their suitors. Girls don’t mean it when they say shit like “nice eyes” in the way that men mean it when they say the same to women. The only evidence that a girl means anything noteworthy is her parting vagina welcoming your Mosaic staff.
but I didn’t move to another venue and now somehow the power dynamic has switched?
Your critical error was your lack of leaving any sort of impression on her. A venue change may have helped, but only in the sense that it would have prolonged the window of opportunity for you to salvage this mess.
While with her I ran into some random people I knew we talked for a while and I thought that showed I had value.
Depends what kind of random people they were. Nerds and fat chicks? Then you lowered your value. Cool cats like yer humble host CH? Value overload.
I’m a bit unsure of what route to take this.. Any help greatly appreciated. I want to smash this one.
You want to smash this one. She knows this. This is why you will not smash.
I can give you little. The lead is cold. Ice cold. Try non sequitur text game. That might do something. Otherwise, accept your momentary defeat and take the lesson to heart for the next girl you want to smash. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of them.
The problem is that so many guys attempting [the neg] DO NOT understand the difference between a “neg” and an insult. From what I’ve read on here, a “neg” is supposed to be playful…like you were teasing a bratty little sister, but not trying to make her cry. Instead, what I’m seeing out there is guys saying these unbelievably rude things.
Example: I was meeting some friends for dinner, but I got there early and had to wait at the bar. Some random strikes up a conversation with me. We speak for a couple of minutes, everything is polite and friendly, when he comes out with this whopper:
“You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.”
That interaction went from, “Hmm, maybe he’s got some friends that might like to come hang out with me and my friends after we’ve all eaten,” to me actually giving the guy the finger and telling him to go fuck himself. Which I generally never do because I think it’s tacky, but I was so shocked and insulted that it just kind of popped out.
RD is aghast at the rudeness of her negger, but a small change in wording is all it would take to reframe RD’s middle finger into a muffsome tingle. For example:
“Your sexy hips balance out your athletic boobs.”
There. This is what a neg should sound like coming from a better negger. It’s only superficially a compliment. The “athletic boobs” part, sliding in as it does like a sneaky syntactical fucker soon after the conspicuous flattery, adds that necessary ingredient of backhanded ambiguity that so enthralls women’s need for intrigue. When delivered with plausible naivete, the woman is left with no one to accuse of rudeness, and her middle finger is stayed. Instead of outward rebellion at her devious suitor, she turns inward to wonder what he meant by “athletic boobs”, (to most women, the description evokes the image of tiny but firm titties), and in the turning inward she becomes invested in him and, ultimately, in his approval.
I hope now people are starting to get a feel for proper neggery. It doesn’t have to be complicated, although negging as an art form can require a high skill level. A simple disqualification — “It’s nice for a change to talk to a girl like she’s one of the guys” — is really all that you need to say to successfully pull off a neg and pique a girl’s curiosity about you.
It wouldn’t be CH if a sly postscript precision-engineered to get under combatants’ skins weren’t appended.
PS Despite the horrible negger in RD’s anecdote, you’ll note that she remembers him days later. A woman’s hate is far preferable to her indifference as an emotional medium through which you can insinuate your obscure charms. To put it curtly, no man ever banged a woman who didn’t know or care he existed, but plenty of men have banged women who started out with hate and disgust (but not boredom!) in their hearts. Of course, it’s ideal to begin the dance of symbolized copulation in the throes of genuine romantic ardor, but hate will do in a pinch.
PPS Better to err on the side of too much assholery than too little. If you can’t think of a good neg, dropping a bad neg is, most of the time, still better than talking about the weather. At least you’ve pinged her radar. Because hell hath no blowouts like a woman bored.