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A proud Chateau acolyte writes,

After reading the Toddler game article I decided to try some little kid game.

One of my plates [ed: "plates" = concurrent lovers or would-be lovers] was going to Africa for a month doing non-ebola humanitarian work so I decided to give her a gift before she left. Using crayons I drew two crude stick figures and wrote “u R cool hAV fuN iN AfriKA” accompanied by “I stayed up past my bed time making this for you.

She started beaming and even teared up a little. She told me that she would nail it to the door of her hut so that she could always see it when she was home.

Total cost to me was less than $1.

If you must mate guard, this is the cool alpha male way to do it. Low investment, high humor, and a physical anchor that will remind her of you every day she’s in that grass hut. If Toddler Game can defeat mandingo-hunting EatPraySlut “””humanitarian work”””, it is powerful game indeed. Its power rests in the attitude it conveys to women: Charming aloofness and happy recklessness. However, reader, I would caution you to consider the worst possibility, and to have an escape route ready should you sense on her return that your woman did what comes naturally to women who spend months overseas with noble savages.

NB: Alpha males rarely spend more than a few bucks on gifts for their girls. If you spend $$$ on jewelry, etc for a girl, you are beta and you fail.

******

Update: A comment from Count Rockula who applied a dollop of CH game to his text convo with a coy girl.

Here’s a classic Heartiste reply that saved me… little background here. I had been banging this 23 year old who I met one night at a party. She took me to another party one night, where I met one of her friends, a hot blonde 8, who I shared eyes with on several occasions. Chatted her up, found out she was moving in a month to another state, but never got her number. Few weeks later, I see her out at a bar. Got her number (“Oh man, I was hoping you would ask me for it!”) and texted her a few days later…
She knew I was banging her friend, and I knew I would at some point in the interaction have to deal with a shit test regarding that. Thanks to the words from an older blog posted here, I passed with flying colors…

After some prelim banter…

Me: So What night we meeting for a drink? Wednesday or Thursday?

Her: Is that allowed ? Aren’t you like dating Sara?

Me: Yeah, Sara and I hang out sometimes, but no, I’m not dating anyone

Me: But hey, if you have a hang up about that it’s cool, I get it

Her: Haha no, I don’t wanna hang out

Me: lol

…..15 minutes later…

Her: I’m out of work at 8 Wednesday. Planned on seeing Kayla

Her: Time is getting slim because my flights Saturday

Her: Meet at (X Venue) Friday night?

This blog and its community are life changers…keep it up everyone.

That was beautiful, man. A master class of text game from beginning to end. There is a time for “lol”, and that was it. Poetry.

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Reader Email #1

Synopsis:
I started going out with someone I met. Not exclusively, but she blew away the competition in every way. Her actions at that time were great …hot sex and her pretty much admitting to “being crazy for” me. Somewhere in there, I got the oneitis and flipped from alpha to beta (and yes, I know I fucked up).

Be very wary of girls who say stuff like “I’m crazy for you” soon after you and her have started dating. These are the kind of BPD drama whores who love the idea of passionate love and in their excitement will try to prematurely generate intense feelings, instead of patiently allowing any feelings to emerge organically. Because as fast as these chicks turn it on, they also can turn it off. One day, you’ll catch her texting another dude, and you’ll wonder “What happened to that whole part about you being crazy for me?”.

Actions speak louder than words, and she started to distance herself. She wanted to “talk to me in person about something” on Friday, and I knew what was next.

Whether intentional or evolutionarily directed, the “crazy for you” drama queen act will trap a lot of less experienced men into buying the schtick and responding in kind with florid beta male paeans. It can be a massive shit test, iow.

Just as I figured though, she gave me the “things are not the same and don’t feel right, I’m sorry text” on the evening we were going to have a face to face instead of meeting tell me (I know women are non-confrontational and I figured this would happen).

I need a timeline. How soon after you met her were you discussing “face to face” meetings to clear the air?

I responded with a “I know”. I then erased every trace from my phone. Forty five minutes later, she send me the “I wish you only the best” text. I do not respond. Erase. Delete.

“lol” would have been funnier, but a non-response is the next best thing.

If you would be so kind, here’s what I need help with, .

I thought about it. I read an entire set of your articles. Two things dawned on me.

1) She may be shit testing me or she may have lost interest as she rides the cock carousel. She could have not wished me luck at all…end of story.

It’s not a shit test. She lost interest, but she’s trying to weasel you into some sort of beta orbiter role who lavishes her with attention when she needs it.

2) After three nights, it bothered me that I was such a stupid idiot for going beta on this broad. I tend to speak my mind, and having not responded to her last text made me feel like I didn’t show my indifference to her goodbye. AFC.

You don’t “show” indifference to a break-up text by demanding explanation or playing a game of gotcha. You show indifference by being indifferent. WWAAWAHD? What would an alpha with a harem do? He wouldn’t bother responding, or he would text her something that made him laugh, like a birthday cat emoji.

I read your articles. And on the third night, I finally sent her a one word text in retort to her “wish you only the best” text. I responded with, “gay”.

Ok. This would’ve been better right after her text. Waiting three days to text “gay” makes it seem like you needed the time to craft the perfect three letter comeback. The “wait a day or two before texting a girl back” is not a universal rule. It’s not even much of an individual rule. Too many exceptions.

Whereas before she would text me back hours later, she texted me back within minutes asking me “what?”

You gave her a tiny hit of dopamine.

Part of me wants to leave it at that. Fish or cut bait. Erase. Delete. Move on.

NEXT.

The greater part of me wants to seduce and destroy. It would be much more fun, fulfilling, and make me feel better (yes I know I have ego and revenge issues). Am I crazy to think this is still an option? If so, I thought about waiting another 3-4 days and responding with the “never mind, I thought you were different” reply. Would you please advise?

Regardless of your advice and opinion. Thanks again for the articles. It has helped me much.

Again, VISUALIZE ALPHA. If you had your fill of cute babes, how would you handle this one girl? You’d fuck with her, that’s what you’d do. “wut” or “8====D~~~”. Followed by a curt statement that you’ll be at [X] on [X] if she’s down to fuck. You’ll act like the earlier unsavory business between you and her never even happened. You are the Whamster, whamming her hamster.

******

Reader Email #2 is from “High School Narcissist”.

Hi. I’ve been following your blog for a little while, and I’m a sophomore in high school. I don’t know that you’ll respond to me since I’m under 18, but I’ll give it a go.

It’s never too soon to make girls swoon.

There’s another girl in my grade, and she’s basically the queen among girls. A lot hotter than everyone else, everyone knows her, etc.

The thing is she seems to be a complete narcissist. She’s very confident, she will give no one time, and is obsessed with herself. I assume this comes with the popularity.

It also comes with the beauty. But let’s not get caught up in an arid cause-effect polemic.

She makes herself unapproachable, and it shows, as every guy is a beta orbiter around her. Never seen a move made on her, just pedestalization.

Great. More opportunity for you to shine.

So I’m curious, how do I exploit this? I’m an average guy in terms of attractiveness. I’ve not ever communicated with her before by the way.

This is high school, a time of your life when the girls will never be riper. At this age and growing awareness of their power over boys, it’s also never a worse time to be a lovesick betaboy. Be mean to make the bitches keen. Shock her into curiosity about you. Say something she would never expect. “Hey could you help me with my homework? You look kind of nerdy.”

Get the idea? Summon your inner exuberantly reckless asshole. One last thing. Be prepared to get backtalk. She’s gonna be startled and peeved (in a good way), and she’ll lash out to test your state control. If you know it’s coming, you’ll stay composed. She might be mad that you called her a nerd. You reply, “Hey, nothing wrong with being a nerd. Don’t hate yourself.”

Enjoy this freshest of poon while you have it, because it’s all downhill from high school!

******

Reader Email #3

What’s the deal with all these bitches who work at “non-profits”?  5-10 years ago bitches were all in public relations.  Now it’s the non profits.

What the hell is a non-profit? Another charitable tax hiding place for rich dudes which allows him to increase power and influence?

Yup. Also, luxury self-actualization. Don’t worry, after the collapse the nonprofits will be wiped from the face of the earth. Fundraising results correlate directly with economic conditions.

Working at a nonprofit allows SWPL women to feel good about themselves. But, more germane, nonprofits appeal to women because they are perceived as happy work which avoids the sink-or-swim ladder-climbing hothouse of for-profit industry. Women are constitutionally averse to competition in ways that men aren’t.

******

Reader Email #4

I am looking for some advice. Recently single, I was in a LTR that ended up being long distance for school. Took a few weeks to get over it, and happy to say I’m moving on. Here’s my situation: My friend is traveling with her friend she met abroad. (2 women, one foreign) I hung out with them before they left, at a pub then a party one night, then the beach a few days later. Explaining their trip they invited me to join them in vegas, and I was like hell yeah, no reason not to.

Not long after at the party, the foreign girl made her interest in me known, and we fooled around a bit, she said she wanted to slow down if I was coming to vegas, although she was still all over me in public and private.

Ignore girls when they say stuff like “I want to slow down if…”. In the final analysis, you will either get the bang or not depending on your seduction acumen. And if you’re good, she’ll forget all about that promise she made to herself.

At the beach she was more discrete but still all over me in private. I’m meeting them in a week, and I’m looking for some advice on how to proceed. I’d call myself a greater beta…working on improvement but I do tend to let my emotions get the better of me. I have no problem attracting women, but I backslide.

I’m going into this intending to have a crazy week partying in vegas but I can’t lie and say I don’t hope I have a fling with this girl before she heads back overseas.

Pre-bang trips are risky. They are pregnant with expectation. She knows you know this trip is an excuse for sex. She knows you’ll be expecting it. She’ll be expecting it (on a less conspicuous level). All these unspoken assumptions will activate her anti-slut defense.

She has a bit of a bitchy nature to her, but I think its her version of trying to be playful, or its a result of her accent. At the beach I got a snarky vibe from her but when we were alone she jumped on me.

That’s a good sign. If it were the reverse — she was all over you in public but a frigid bitch in private — I’d be worried.

Basic plan is to be super social with everyone I meet (my natural strength anyways) and pay her some but not a lot of attention. I’m mostly afraid of coming off coupley when all i really want is to sleep with her as much as possible. I’m ok to cuddle, but only after about an hour of vegas sex.

When expectations and concomitant ASD are high, comfort and a little bit of preemptive disqualification are welcome. Don’t be cutesy (i.e., “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, amirite?”), but don’t be totally stand-offish either. You want to physically escalate toward sex while at the same time letting her know in a nuanced manner that you don’t need her approval in the form of sex, even on a trip where sex is frontmost on both your minds.

Your basic strategy is sound. Don’t initiate the Groping Protocol as soon as you set off on the trip. Be chill, act like you’re really anticipating the parties and gambling and poolsides, tease her to get her out of the discomfort zone (she’ll be in it again because the sex cloud will have been hanging over her for the past week), and after a settling-in period isolate her for deeper rapport. Even the sluttiest of sluts need a man’s imprimatur of emotional investment.

I don’t know how you’ve worked out the hotel situation, but it’s better to pop that sex cherry before awkward consensus meetings over who sleeps where begin. If that’s not possible, you’ll have to cajole her with some plausible excuse to come into your room.

******

Reader Email #5 is from Changer89.

Can you write a post analyzing Tracy Chapman’s song ‘Fast Car’ from red pill/economically right-wing/racial realism perspective?

Black lesbian warbles tragically about leaving for the white suburb on the hill with her shiftless thug lover as realization of depressing ghetto fate slowly dawns on her. See also: Any halfway smart black person surrounded by imbeciles.

******

Reader Email #6

Ever thought about ways in which not to be a sulking beta if the woman denies you sex? freeze outs are hard, so I have an easy alternative. Tickle game – where you throw her onto the bed against her will and tickle the shit out of her. Then when she says she’s had enough keep going until you’re satisfied. Yeah it’s immature and childish but so are the funniest of men and women can’t resist not being taken seriously.. thoughts?

Good stuff. Even better: Tickle the giggles out of her, then get up and say “Ok, that’s enough. I gotta go” and leave her in a state of breathless confusion. This is the long-game strategy; you’re denying her sex now for hotter, more devoted, sex later.

******

Reader Email #7

Can i get some advice on campus life? I plan to move onto residence for my final year of university. I’m moving to a new city, so how do I go about making new friends, and get myself into a social crowd?

I have a fairly good physique, and try to dress well, but still I lack confidence and am bad at conversation/small talk.

Rule #1: Stay away from losers. There’ll be a temptation to join their nonjudgmental cliques because they’ll take the pressure off you having to socially perform. Resist it. If you get sucked into a loser social circle, it’ll be ten times harder to infiltrate a winner social circle that’ll grant access to prime poosy.

Rule #2: If your conversational skills are weak, or you’re a natural introvert, cultivate a “laconic rebel” personality. That means, don’t overtalk (to avoid social miscues). Train yourself in the art of the drive-by quip. Once you’ve gotten a fair shake by the winners, you can move on from “laconic rebel” to “aloof asshole who doesn’t care what people think of him”. Then you get the girls.

******

Reader Email #8

Long time reader, first time emailer.  I’ve found myself in a bit of a conundrum with one of the latest girls that I’ve been seeing.  My concern is that I’m the one to initiate nearly all of our dates.  On one hand, I feel that the “leader mentality” should mean that it doesn’t matter that I’m the one initiating every date.  On the other hand, I don’t want to come across as the one that’s chasing her.  She agrees to the date about 90% of the time.  When she doesn’t, sometimes she gives a good excuse; other times, she is very terse.  We are not in a relationship, but have been seeing each other casually for several months.  Should I be concerned that I’m being strung along, or should I just keep pushing?  Feel free to use this message, but please don’t use my name.  Thanks!

While foot-dragging or a lack of initiative by a girl can be a cause for concern, if she’s banging you I wouldn’t worry about it. Girls vote with their vaj. Some girls simply prefer a man who orders their lives for them.

So, my question to you is, are you fucking her? I’ll assume you are, because “several months” in non-beta orbiter land means “several months of fucking”. If you aren’t… abandon ship!

A girl who hasn’t put out is de facto pulling strings. She is in the command seat of power. She has all the hand. If you feel like you’re chasing a girl you haven’t yet banged, you probably are. And you won’t get that bang until you’ve gone some lengths to flip the script and get her to chase you a bit.

But if she’s already given her most valuable asset to you, then the chasing you feel manipulated into doing may just be the expression of her natural feminine reticence against being pumped and dumped. She needs more signs of your commitment before she’ll permit the vulnerability of love to strike down her last bulwark of defense. Only you can tell which advice pertains.

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Email #1: “Steve” sincerely asks,

Important question:

Can sluts fall in love?

Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.

Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.

******

Email #2: A reader has a question about needy ex-girlfriends.

My question is regarding ‘the rules of contact with your ex after a breakup’.

My gf and I recently split after 1 year (her idea) due to her feeling that our relationship had run its course and wasn’t going to progress. Despite the fact that I disagreed, I had no choice but to respect her wishes and let her go. I’m back to my single-guy-Alpha ways but she continues to contact me from time to time (weeknight texts ‘just thinking about you and wanted to say hi’ or late Sat night “we just got our hair done up for the night!”)

What in the fuck is one supposed to do w that? Half of my friends who I trust for counsel think I should refrain from replying or contacting her and just move on, re-fill my bullpen, etc. The other half are advising that I continue to pursue her, text w her, try to be around her, treat her like a human/friend etc. I’m curious what your experiences have taught you in similar situations.

Any kind of unsolicited contact from an ex-girlfriend, no matter how trivial or weird, is proof that she still has feelings for you. This sounds like a break-up she never really wanted, but considered a last ditch effort to bring you to heel. Or it was prodded by subterfuge from her jealous girl friends.

(When a girl breaks up after falling out of love, you will rarely, if ever, hear from her again unless necessity dictates.)

Whatever advice you’re getting, it’s nothing compared to the knowledge that you are sitting in the driver’s seat. You have hand. Lots of it. Use it like an acromegalic pimp.

She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”

The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.

Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.

******

Email #3: “Chris” writes,

You’ve changed my life massively for the better, but now I’m not sure how to handle a girl I actually want.
She’s involved in the stuff I like (strength sports) and is overtly sexual, so she was off to a good start.  I chose to ignore a personal red flag (she trains horses). I set up for us to go somewhere fun and eat after, but the morning of, she cancels on me. I responded along the lines of that’s fine, but next time she has to make the plans, and so I gave up and deleted her contact info.

Never say “that’s fine” when a girl flakes at the last minute. That’s rewarding bad behavior. “lol” would have been a far superior response.

Knowing how these things work, I checked tinder and saw she was active right before that, most likely made plans with someone of higher status.

Your inner game is weak. You’re making a lot of assumptions that, even if they were proved true, do you no good to dwell on.

I DO actually like her and would like to, at the very least, bed someone who commonly complains on twitter that most guys aren’t man enough for her.

Any girls who “””brags””” in this way on a social media platform is very insecure about her ability to land an alpha male, and LOVES assholes. I can already tell by the jive of your email that you’re a niceguy, and that won’t do for girls of her nature. You need to turn your dick dial to “bring da movies“.

Should I write her off entirely and forget it since attractive 19 year olds are plentiful anyway? Or is there a decent way back in? My birthday is soon if that would afford an opportunity, though anything to do with that seems too friendly to restart on.

Birthday smirthday. You think a girl you aren’t fucking cares about your birthday? Turn hard dick on her, swirl her mental fallopian grooves, and marinate for a while. Right now, she’s dreaming a rough rider will saddle up and shove her face in the hay.

******

Email #4: “Andrew” (not WK) is lost in a land of maneaters.

How do you differentiate between genuine interest and her showing interest in hopes of your attention/making you an orbiter?

Do you ever flirt about sex with her? If not, she sees you as Castrate the friendly ghost.

A girl I met a couple months ago has been showing a pretty solid amount of interest lately. Touches me, punches me when I tease, calls me cute, plays with my hair, etc. I follow everything in your blog, I follow a lot of Rollo’s advice, Roosh, etc. The reason I’m asking is, she’ll initiate a text, I’ll reply with something relevant, and she will reply hours later, but usually she never replies at all. This has happened about 3 times now and since then I’ve completely avoided texting to minimize the risk of desperation ruining my shit in person.

Beta bait. She’s threw out the chum (her texts), you replied on cue (and with relevancy no less!), she released you back to the ocean of dullboys.

Do you have a website you check when you’re bored, just to see if there is anything new? And when there isn’t, you just exit? I feel like I’m her “website”. She texts me, finds nothing interesting, and doesn’t respond. She trying to make me an orbiter or something?

She’s probably fishing for a reason to be attracted to you, but all she’s pulling up are old tires. This sounds less like a beta orbiter invitation than a girl who began sexually curious but suffered a dearth of confirmatory evidence. You can bet other guys are in her life, which drives down the value of your communication. You’re in sort of a limbo; not a love interest, not a desexualized beta buddy. Like the emailer above, I think you need to go the Full Asshole to reinvigorate her waning interest.

******

Email #5: “Christian”, a reader with some fame cred asks,

Love the site. I check it every day. Opened my eyes to game and the red pill mentality. Thank you x10000000

Anyways, I have a job in media where I am in the public light. Small market gig but I’m on TV here and some people recognize me when I go out. I want to know your thoughts on how that could change my options when it comes to getting laid.

It’ll increase them. That’ll be $300.

I tend to avoid online dating sites for these reasons (don’t want to be recognized). I also tend to avoid bringing up my career w girls i meet unless asked.

This is a smart ploy. Fame’s pull on women is most powerful when it’s discovered rather than disclosed. Plus, you’ll have a particular need to filter out golddiggers. Fame is so powerful a tingle generator it’s best to be faux embarrassed about it.

I feel like my career is holding me back from achieving the life I want w women. I’m insecure about being recognized.

Being recognized is not your problem. Managing post-coital expectations is your problem.

I relish when I’m out of town and gaming chicks because I can be as free w my words and actions without that fear.

Any words of advice for those that have similar issues?

A lot of male public figures have mistresses and active sex lives. Yet you only hear about a small percentage of them blowing up the media each year. How do the rest manage their harems? Most women are so thrilled to be with a famous guy they’ll be very careful about rocking the boat. If this is your quandary, you’ll need to be more forcefully up front about what you expect from women, and what they can expect from you. Allowing drama to flourish just for the fun of it is a luxury you may not be able to afford.

If you want girls to “love you for who you are” instead of for the fame, well, the platitude princess can help you with that. She leaves quarters under pillows!

******

Email #6: Austin uncovers a new, potent form of shit test.

I’ve got a question about some game.  I feel like recently I’ve come across a (potential) shit test that I’m not familiar with, it usually goes something like

Her: You remind me of my ex boyfriend (playfully)

I like to go bold here

Me: So you’re saying I’m extremely handsome

usually puts them a little off or they pick some other quality, but I’m not sure where to go from here, thanks Gents

Context is crucial. If this shit test is delivered playfully, it means “oh no I’m falling for one of these guys again”. Your reply was OK, nothing really self-sabotaging about it, but I would have said something else. (It would feel a little gay to compliment a girl’s ex on his looks, however indirectly.) Where you go from there depends on her reaction. If she picks another quality, tell her you feel objectified, and (with a hammy smile) inform her that her flirting is horrible, and she needs to step up her game for a special snowflake like yourself.

The only real concern you should have with passing shit tests is, well, passing them. You don’t have to smash it to smithereens. A “D” is a passing grade. All you need to do is avoid getting defensive or overly emotionally engaged — e.g., “I remind you of your ex?! How so??” — and you’ll be fine.

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*deep breath*

Email #1

This reader has a problem many masters of the muff have encountered. Unless you’re a psychopath, in which case you need not bother yourself to read further.

I am in a pickle and I seek advice from like-minded individuals. Any response is appreciated!

I have been seeing this girl for about five months now. Met her through a mutual friend after ingesting tons of red pill and game articles. The first time we met we played tennis with a couple of other people. I thought she was cute and had decent athletic ability, but she definitely wasn’t super hot in my opinion. I’d rate her a 6.5. Great body, long blonde hair, but her face is a little beat.

Anyways throughout the time I’ve known her I’ve gamed her VERY WELL and she’s responded better than I could have hoped. In short, she’s smitten. She treats me like a king and is probably the sweetest girl I’ve ever dated. She also craves sex from me like its the last time she’ll ever get it. Regularly tells me I’m the best she’s ever had etc.

My problem is this: Although I enjoy her company, the way she treats me, and her enthusiasm for my dick, I am not super physically attracted to her. The face really throws me off. I have successfully parried a number of her attempts to secure commitment from me, but I see things coming to a head relatively soon. Is the player cursed with being a heartbreaker?

If you haven’t broken a heart, you haven’t loved.

I don’t want to settle down, but I feel awful hurting her.

This is a normal reaction for non-psychopaths. The guilt you feel is a primal recognition of women’s shorter reproductive windows and of the harm your unserious dalliance is doing to her SMV. Naturally, you must do what is best for you, and it helps to consider that women will act in their own best interests as well when they have romantic leverage to exploit.

It seems to me that the manosphere (especially returnofkings) often mentions the lack of true feminine American women. I have definitely found one, but I still am not satisfied. I want it all. I want a beautiful face, a rock hard body, and a subservient nature. Are my standards too high? Am I an asshole? Am I foolish to think I can have it better? Thank you in advance for any insight.

The dissonance you are experiencing is caused by your laboring under an inverted female attractiveness pyramid. Femininity is desirable, but it’s almost nothing if there’s no beauty. Beauty is necessary if not sufficient for a man to fall in love with a woman. This is true for all men, though you may be tempted to think otherwise by observing men’s choices or their claimed level of contentment with this or that subpar woman. But it makes sense that there would be a disconnect between what men actually desire and what they settle for, because limited sexual market options are very hard for either sex to swallow, so justifications and rationalizations for settling are the norm rather than the exception.

All this is to say you aren’t an asshole nor are you foolish, if you have good reason to believe you can do better. The discomfort you feel is the core reactor of your mental apparatus — your id — warning you that life is short and you can plow higher quality poon, so why are you wasting it on throwaways? A very cynical view of love can be summed thus:

Maxim #53: Love is when you’ve been granted a temporary reprieve from wondering if you can do better.

As for the particulars of the heart you’re about to dash against the tidal rocks, there are three ways to do the dirty deed dirt cheap.

1. Be direct.

“This isn’t going to work anymore for me. You’re a great woman but I have to move on to find what I really want.”

Just pull that band-aid off. Leave no doubt or hope behind.

2. Cut off all contact.

No phone calls, texts, social media, anything. She’ll eventually take the hint. Upside: You don’t have to see her blubbering face. Downside: You have to live with the thought of confusion and pain tearing her apart for a couple of months.

3. Lie.

“I’ve been dating this other girl.” “I’m married.” “I’m gay.” “I’m sterile.” “I have a rap sheet.”

Scratch that last one. It’s likely to backfire.

***

Email #2

She’s a man-eater baby. So help this reader escape her maw.

I have been reading this site and Rollo’s for while now. And I am learning so much. I am 50 and I have met a solid 9 26YO and we have been together for about two months. She was fun and funny and beautiful Certifiable, She works as a promotional model and has done a couple of magazines. Sex has been awesome. About a few weeks ago things started to go sideways. More attitude. Less available. More shit tests so I got to the point where I told her she needed to respect me otherwise I am gone. Well it did not work.

Ultimatums are TNT. Handle with care. They don’t work as often as “tough alpha guy” advocates think they do. If there is any power differential favoring the girl, no matter how small, your ultimatum will be perceived as the last gasp of a butthurt ego, and fail.

She agreed completely and then went back to the same thing.

So then a few days ago I went silent. Only responding to her texts and only briefly. It seemed to work.

Tacit ultimatums >>> spoken ultimatums.

She sent me dirty photos. And kept initiating. I stayed uninterested.

This was your opportunity to gently mock her. “Did you know your left boob is a little smaller?”

Then yesterday she kind of gives me all of these reasons why she has been unavailable. I waited a while and then sent her a text just saying. “I am really not feeling it….” Then she sent me an indignant wat? and then a dirty pic.

She sounds kind of stupid. I say that because girls with low intelligence tend to lean on the display of their bodies to regain lost relationship hand. Smarter girls will go the verbal route first.

I said nice and then went silent again. At the end of the day she sends me long blow up text about four paragraphs about I need to talk to her and let her know where I am at with our relationship and she has other options. Which she does, she is really hot. No apologies. But she admits that she is a bitch.

When a man “admits” he’s an asshole, he usually isn’t. When a girl admits she’s a bitch, she usually is.

So then I wait a while and send her a text back saying call me…she sends back “I have the vagina you call me…”

“Does your vagina have ears?”

I sent a lol and I called her.

Big mistake. She tossed up a hoop. you jumped through it like a circus poodle.

Figuring she had enough and was ready to behave. We had a good conversation and set a date to get together tonight for some playtime.

We texted today with some light bantering, and I kept it short and aloof. Then in the afternoon she sends a slightly insulting text out of the blue.

Too much back and forth. Dude, the brutal truth… the impression I’m getting, and I’m sure the readers here are getting, is that you’re a marionette dancing on the ends of her strings.

I went dark again. Have not communicated since. And we are supposed to see each other tonight.

What would you masters do? I could stay dark and blow off the date?

Text and say you have to cancel, something came up. Leave it at that. Don’t text again.

Meet up with her and not do anything, hoping that me going dark was punishment for her bad behavior? Should I punish her for this?

You’re stuck on a reward-punishment hamster wheel and it’s sucking the fun out of your time with her. Thinking about how to “punish” a girl is not the attitude of a take-it-or-leave-it outcome independent alpha male. You want this chick badly, and it’s making your head spin. You need time away to clear your head and to clear hers.

Meet up with her and tell her she is acting like a brat and I am walking away until she shapes up?

You know what’s funny about ultimatums? Half the time they’re exactly what women want to pry from you. She’s in control, and you’re being piloted like a piper cub. You’re becoming predictable, and once she tires of batting you around like a cat toy she will go full sayonara. Bet on it.

I know I started this relationship from a beta frame, does that mean all is lost?

No. What it means is that you’re still in a beta frame, just under an alternate configuration.

Please help a brother out. Look at this like a remedial tutoring session.

I gave you advice above. Icy silence. Two in the kitty. Restored mentality of abundance. Keep in mind that the large age difference means you’ll have to be more detached from her than you could afford if you were closer in age. Once she’s groomed to appreciate your menu of options (true or not), you can throw out feelers to see if she’d be into a longer-term commitment. But that time isn’t now, under these conditions.

It’s been a while since this email was delivered. Let us know what transpired.

***

Email #3

A younger reader has a question about Snatchchat.

I’m new to game, 20 years old, going to a community college in Colorado. I’ve had enough natural game to get by throughout the years, but this blog has opened my eyes. Your text game principles are gold, and have helped me a lot. Now I’ll get to the point. There’s a new craze I’ve noticed recently, and that’s snapchat. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, you take a picture, write a caption, and send it to someone and they can only view it for ten seconds till it’s gone forever. Could you do a post on snapchat game perhaps? Some tips would be useful. I’ve gotten nudes through it before (which sucks because you can’t save them ). I have a beta friend who snapchats the gayest stuff like “beautiful day out.” Any tips on how to be alpha on snap chat?

Snapchat is really not a very good platform for gaming girls. It’s designed with female needs and desires in mind, and that’s why it’s suddenly a “craze”. Women drive crazes. (It takes a crazy to know a craze.) The main benefit to girls (particularly borderline personality disorder attention whores) is that the spontaneity of Snapchat allows them to better judge a man’s grace under pressure, and the privacy feature (such as it is) encourages them to flirt more openly than they would otherwise, possibly leading less experienced men astray who are apt to misconstrue playfulness for sexual interest.

But like all female-catered consumer products (99% of total commerce) there are ways to hack the stated or adopted purposes of such social lubrication mediums to exploit them to your benefit. Snatchchat is no exception.

First, like the reader says, rule number one is DON’T BE BETA. If you’re snapchatting “beautiful day out” with pictures of a field, you have already lost. Incel is your future.

Second, have fun with it. If you treat Snapchat less like a dating app and more like a neg facilitator, you’ll be able to springboard from it to a more intimate platform, like flesh and blood real life. Examples:

Here’s my pussy. your turn.

If she sends you a follow-up poon pic, snapchat back a pic of a crying baby. Tease the female prerogative outta her.

Or, snapchat a photo of your unopened robe, with the caption “here comes a dick pic”. Wait a while (to build delicious tension), ignore all her protestations, and then send this:

You get the idea. Whatever you do, don’t get caught in an endless snapchat loop. Because while she’s snapchatting you with one hand, her mouth is servicing the cock of another man.

Read Full Post »

Email #1

Southern Man writes,

Sunshine Mary is reviewing a book in which the authors (both women) propose that the five core needs of a woman are:

to be cherished by a man
to be protected by a strong man
to rescue a man
to be sexually alive
to escape reality

We are of course skeptical of any advice for women written by women but this list doesn’t look too bad. How would it fare under the harsh light of the Chateau dungeon?

Heaven forfend, the Chateau is not a dungeon good sire! It is a temple. With a dungeon.

It’s natural and justifiable to be suspicious of romantic advice from women. As CH has explained at length before, the predominantly visual component of women’s attractiveness precludes them from having to grasp too much bowel-shaking reality. Men, however, can’t just apply makeup and slip into a slinky dress to get scads of attention from the opposite sex; men must learn what makes women (and competitor men) tick if they want a decent shot at sex and love.

Nevertheless, there are those rare fair flowerings of insight from the passive sex. The list above compiled by “Sunshine Mary” distinguishes itself by avoiding the flagrantly shallow and self-serving pretty lies that are the stock in trade of most of her sistren. But like most female advice, a heaping helping of contextual hedging is necessary to make any use of it.

Yes, women want to be cherished by a man… an alpha man. And they don’t want to be cherished too soon, too often, or too egregiously.

Yes, women want to be protected by a strong man… who makes them wet. And they want that protection in small doses, before it lurches into possessiveness.

Yes, women want to rescue a man… from his own jerkboy sexiness.

Yes, women want to be sexually alive… but that’s a symptom, not a cause, of the kinds of men to whom they freely give their love.

Yes, women want to escape reality… no qualification needed.

My advice… take women’s sex and romance advice with a flat of salt. Even the well-meaning ones.

***

Email #2

A reader channels Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds,

40$ up for grabs in case I find your advice good enough.

Disqualification noted.

I’m 25 years old and I’ve only recently discovered game, but already found a wide range of instances where even just a little game makes a huge freaking difference. I’m still new and grasping basics, but the sex life with the wife has improved significantly. Yes, I have a wife and child already. Trying to get the nuclear family thing going to keep western civilization outside of America running (you’re all fucked already).

Anyway, long story short, I have to get a job as a temp at a junior high-school to support my family. No other options available. The school isn’t one of the worst, around 75/25 white/other. I want to be prepared for troublemakers however, so I read some about AMOG’ing, but all examples are in bars (naturally).

Chateau, how to deal with annoying brats, trying to take a swing on the alphatemp? Examples highly appreciated.

A physical swing? From 13 year olds? Sounds like juvie instead of junior high.

This is perhaps beyond even the cosmic ken of the all-seeing id of CH, but one thing I can pass along is what I remember my alpha teachers behaving like when they had to deal with a class badass (*innocent look*). One such teacher used to feign obliviousness to the distracting student’s antics as he strolled along the aisles formed by our chairs, and then in a swift movement and without warning would send his pointer stick crashing down on the offending rapscallion’s desktop with an eardrum-breaking crash, saying not a word in the aftermath but what was spoken by his glaring eyes. That usually did the trick.

If you prefer the subtler approach, try dunce caps (a comic trope that needs renewed life), making the loser “L” sign on your forehead, quoting an updated Dean Wormer’s classic “fat, dorky, and stupid is no way to go through life son”, or pimp slapping. CH takes no responsibility for any helicopter parent’s wrath which may be incurred by pursuing the above tactics.

***

Email #3

A refreshingly self-aware reader would like some tips on how to improve his anti-flake artillery. His Tinder/text replies are on the right (if it wasn’t obvious).

Passing along a tinder/text convo that ended in a flake. Fully aware that she never hooked very hard, if at all. But she gave a lot of shit tests which you might find interesting

Anyway the convo is for your amusement. For me, I am wondering if you have any tips for me as a 27 yr old w/ girls who are under 21 (can’t take to bars). Thanks and please dont use my name/email in anything.

reel… reel… reel….

damn! an old shoe!

My first take: You didn’t answer her shit tests hard enough. You were too forgiving. You started tossing in “fun” routines before you had energized her curiosity. That’s why your routines and leading questions fell like a led zeppelin. Also, you qualified her to soon. “You seem cool” should only be reserved for girls who have shown real effort to seem cool to you. But I think you know all this.

By the way, girls sometimes unintentionally drop clues that they’re liable to flake. “We’ll see if it works out” is one such pre-flake clue. The tiny clause “we’ll see” is one of the worst things you as a man will hear from a woman. She’s so noncommittal she can hardly contain her ennui.

To answer your question, think about what excites under-21 girls. What excites them is what over-21 men do that men their own age don’t or can’t do. Backstage passes. Shows. Artsy house parties. Introductions to movers and shakers. Cultural or urban nooks and crannies to which only older men can give her access. Yes, bars too. Ice cream? No. That’s a date you have with a girl you’ve been fucking for a long time.

I don’t think the problem is your uninspired venue-choosing algorithm. She’d have been happy to go to a bar with you if she was sufficiently intrigued by your company. Never blame a flake on a logistical imperfection that could just as readily be blamed on a dearth of excitement. If a girl desperately wants to meet you, a crusty public bathroom can suffice.

***

Email #4

A reader broods,

I have a question re: men’s looks. I know this isn’t as important as things like social proof and attitude but the thing is, where I’m not considered ugly, I’m also not very masculine-looking; I have quite feminine facial features and I’m very thin (working on this). Men who self-identify as “ugly” typically still have masculine features, just not in very good proportions. I, on the other hand, have decent proportions but not very masculine features. In terms of objective measurements like symmetry and proportion I’d say I was a 6, but I wonder: does having a “baby face” count against me, and how much? And how, physically-speaking, do I counter this? Should I play up an effeminate angle (not really my preference), or try to defeat it in some way (I also can’t grow decent facial or chest hair yet despite having very hairy legs — thanks mom and dad!)?

You’re thinking too much about this, like a little girly-woman with a little girly-hamster. Can you change your face? No. Can you approach more women and try to be more charismatic and challenging? Yes. If you do what you can theoretically do instead of complaining about what you cannot possibly do, you’ll meet women who will either love your baby-face or who will make up rationalizations for loving your face when it’s really your attitude they love.

About the only practical advice I could give you regarding your face is to abide the maxim “contrast is king”. Women will be expecting a trustworthy, genial fellow when they meet your baby-face; they’ll be pleasantly shocked when you flash your jerk pass.

On the other hand, I suppose you could go the plush beta orbiter route and aim for the bang circa 2023.

***

Email #5

The spring must bring out the brooders. Ohiomega laments,

Hi, liege. Imagine a man had taken your DMV test and received a very low score–almost everything about him was subpar in terms of its ability to help him snag snatch. How could he most efficiently go about improving his lot? What is the order of operations, so to speak, of male improvement?

Ok, this may go against conventional pickup doctrine, but the *quickest* path to improving your lot is through the weight room. Squats, deads, bench, pull-ups. We’re talking fast, right? In two months, you’ll feel manlier and you’ll look manlier. Game ROI is pretty quick too, but in my experience nothing will boost your outlook like a month or two of hard lifting. Don’t worry about “getting hyooge”. That’s not the point. Attitude adjustment is the point.

Now, if we’re talking about *total* ROI, rather than quickest, you’ve gotta hit the field and apply the core game principles on real live women. Efficiency-wise, that means:

Get rid of crutches, aka loser male friends, who are unintentional or otherwise obstacles to you walking up to women to meet them for eventual copulation as the good lord intended.

Find someone who knows how to dress. Emulate that person.

Keep a few negs, a few conversation starters, a few generic text replies, a few juicy alpha male movie quotes, and a few psychological games in your memory bank for instant retrieval. Trawl the CH archives for these.

Be a good boy scout and prepare for every woman to shit test you.

Have a pre-planned “date night activity list” in your head, which you will use for just about every woman you meet. This means you know beforehand you will take the girl from Venue #1 -> Venue #2 -> Home/Venue #3, and you will know which drinks you’ll get and who works there, as well as transportation options and distances from your 150-count bedsheets. Confidence is a side effect of tight planning.

Learn to engagingly tell one story from your life that makes you look good. Frame it in such a way that it seems you are reluctant to tell her, but oh well, she seems really interested.

Reader Mailbag entries are piling up. Expect some more in the coming weeks.

Read Full Post »

Email #1

A reader of the estrogenic persuasion writes,

I am a new mother of a two month old infant boy.

Generally it’s ill advised to seek parenting advise from a non-parent, but you have convinced me of so many truths that I am asking.  I am asking you for parenting advise.  Not of the “how to get baby to sleep thru the night” kind or “how to accomplish potty training,” but rather, what do I do with this child?  Do I hand him a skateboard and tell him to enjoy the decline?  Do I start an educational savings plan and hope that the 1950’s comes back?  How and when do I begin his “game” education?  Is it a mistake to bring children into this world?  I figure people had children during declines before, and ultimately the world will abide.

My husband and I are both white.  We are not religious.  He is an engineer and we met at university.  I would describe him as a classic beta provider.  I stumbled on your website several years ago before we were engaged, and I subtly gave my husband a “red-pill” education, to the point where his “game” is at a point where he is reasonably attractive.  I have also upped my “game” so to speak, and I’m no 10 but I’m enough for this guy and he gets all his lunches packed for him and never has to do laundry or sweep the floor.  I also felt like if something happened to me, my husband would never be able to meet another woman, but now I feel confident that he has enough game that he wouldn’t be eternally celibate if I died and I am comforted by this.  I also feel that the game I taught him will help him in his professional life.

Discovering your website turned my world upside-down.  In addition, my son’s formerly conservative, suburbanite, rather dull grandparents are now radical anarchist activists.  Needless to say, within the past 5 years or so, I have questioned everything I thought I knew.  Your last DIVCON post prompted me to write you.

Considering my situation, do you have any parenting advise for me?

Re-read that CH-bolded part. Doesn’t that confessional blip get right to the heart of marriage and its lurking discontents? If a woman knows you can get other women (should the need arise), she is happier. Game can strengthen marriages.

If field experience in the dating trenches and genetic analyses are any indication, the world is changing faster now than it ever has before. The human landscape is shifting under our feet. New parents are right to be concerned how to raise their children, especially their little boys for whom the armaments of the leftoid cultural propaganda and policy machines have taken aim.

My advice will be long and bitter.

1. Boys don’t need to hear about decline. What they need to hear about are enemies to fight.
2. You must raise your boy with an eye on his future prize: love and loyalty from beautiful women. This means cultivating in him an appreciation of sex differences and a focus on exploiting his native talents. Admiration from men will follow.
3. His father will be tempted to correct his weaknesses. This is misplaced help. Dad should direct his energy to maximizing his son’s strengths.
4. Give your son room to grow into a man. Let him take risks and flirt with danger.
5. Your son will learn how to successfully deal with women by observing his father deal with his mother. The best thing Dad can do for his son is game his Mom.
6. When your son is a teenager, introduce him to weightlifting and men’s fashion.
7. Your son will not want to “share his feelings” with you or Dad. If you want to know what’s on his mind, tell a story lesson from your life. He will subconsciously ingest your story and relate it to his own problems.
8. Do whatever you can to assure your son attends majority (80%+) white schools. Your son’s life of learning is not a safari.
9. Mock feminism and equalism at the dinner table. By age 8, your son should be ready for irritating truths. By age 15, for the ugliest truths.
10. Your son isn’t a programmable entity or a projection of your need for usefulness. Don’t schedule his life by Google calendar. If you’re shuttling him to events or clubs more than twice a week, cut back. He needs those days where he explores on his own and returns home caked in dirt.
11. Encourage his boyness. Buy him construction sets, toy guns, model planes, sports equipment, natural science books, and, when he’s older, the CH bestseller.
12. Never humiliate his father in front of him. You may find it satisfying, but you’re doing your boy a disservice.
13. Teach him to throw a punch, and take a punch. If Dad can’t do it, find a male relative who can.
14. Buy him an electric guitar for his eighth birthday. He may not have musical ability, but it’s worth finding out.
15. Teach him to hunt, not just animals, but also humans. This is the darkest of my advice, but it’s invaluable. He should know what it feels like to be aggressive, to initiate conflict. Not necessarily physical conflict; verbal conflict mastery is more useful. His confidence as a man-to-be will grow along with his facility at managing social interactions, joshing with other boys, and teasing rivals.
16. Avoid criticism in favor of demonstration. When he makes a mistake, the urge to criticize will be strong. Better to channel that emotion into helpful suggestions. Preserve your boy’s honor and he’ll reward you with redoubled efforts to please you.
17. Keep a close eye on your son’s school curriculum. Don’t be afraid to confront school administrators and teachers if they start stuffing absurd shitlibbery into his impressionable mind.
18. If you are atheist or agnostic, swallow your pride and ensconce him in a religious tradition. The presence of a powerful overseer, true or not, will help ground him and gird his will. This is a tough call, though, because most Western religions have become utterly corrupted by malign anti-white influences. Nevertheless, if there’s one pretty lie that you should abide for a short while to facilitate his healthy emotional development and a sense of protective community, this is it.
19. If you have the means, travel with him to Europe to experience the great traditions and accomplishments of his ancestors. Cheaper version: the public library.
20. No social media. No iPads. No iPhones. Boys don’t become great men with their eyes glued to a screen like a plugged in Matrix pod. They become great men with their eyes up and searching the horizon.

***

Email #2

A reader wants to know how his text game ranks,

Hey, I just wanted to see if you had time to critique my text game with this girl I’ve known for 6 years. She likes me but I don’t pursue friends. I talk to her all the time and use her to test out some theories that I read up on here and elsewhere.

Up until recently I didn’t even know text game was a thing. I didn’t use the 1/3 rule, there were times where I replied instantly after it took her a few minutes to respond, and I also replied with more words than she did but I think it turned out well.

The reader is blue, the girl white.

The reader broke a couple of texting rules, but it didn’t hurt him because he has the right attitude (cocky teasing) and he initiated the conversation. If you initiate with a girl, you will, by the nature of the tacit disequilibrium in relative value, have to expend more effort in moving the girl toward a flirty rapport.

This girl is sassy, so the risk here is that this type of edgy parrying isn’t going to move her closer to sexual interest. She likes it, but there has to be a push so she feels like the drug is being taken away from her. The reader might try texting back that he’ll catch up with her tomorrow “with juicy details if things go right tonight”. When she inquires, don’t respond. The exquisite pang of incipient jealousy must be allowed to slow boil her hamster through the night.

***

Email #3

A pressing matter,

Hey, Heartiste, why do chicks “lol” so much in txt convos? It’s almost perfunctory with them; they can’t possibly laugh that much. What are they trying to say? Do they even know?

It’s social lubrication. Girls use nonverbal and verbal tics like “lol” to create and amplify bonding. It’s like how you might laugh a little extra hard at your boss’s jokes. When a girl does this excessively, a good neg you can use is “hey you laugh a lot”, as if you’re making some sort of astounding, but value-neutral, discovery. Simple, but oh so effective.

***

Email #4

A reader speaks for millions,

I write to the great Chateau with a burning question that has plagued me for months.

When are you going to compile the best writings of CH into a game bible? If you published a book it would easily be the greatest thing to come out of the manosphere. It would rival Rollo’s book (see that tight neg, you’ve taught me well).

Even if you don’t have the time make a book could you at least compile a best of? This is easily my favorite blog. Quality writing and raw, biting truths. Anyway, enough dickriding. I eagerly await your response.

Sincerely
A young reader.

Your flattery game is tight, young padawan. But the Chateau staff of life is vainglorious, and can accommodate that mistress factory known colloquially as Russia riding it to completion.

***

Email #5

Wherefore amused mastery?

Long Story Short (hopefully)!

Dating 8 yrs. Own a condo together for 1.5 years.

Just read your “I Love You Too” article. The beta schmuck comment at the end about saying “luvya” at the end of each call really resonated with me. I knew I was beta with my girl but this really sunk to how bad it really is. I’ve been doing some reading cause I feel like she just isn’t in to me like before, and I’d love that to change.

I have zero game, if I like a girl: beta mode! at least that’s all I knew when I was single. Although luckily enough for me due to the fact (when we met at 16) she was one year older and I assumed out of my league. I thought I didn’t have a chance. So no loser beta attempts at getting her (wish I knew this before lol). Apparently I’m cocky funny as a normal human, she always recounts when we first met how much of a dick I was, I used to give her the hardest time, cause it was fun. Then I asked her out and beta schmuckery ensued for the last 8 years. Although a couple of questionable acts on my part have basically made me more beta to try and make up for hurting her and calming her jealousy down. So I find it quite hard to be funny or whatever when she get’s in a jealous spell, I’m usually apologetic etc. In general though how can this be pulled back around.

I think also a good thing to cover is guys in LTR for a LOOONG time, like me 8 years, that discover proper game etc, how can we change the dynamic, it’s not an easy thing to mentally get around. Changing how we act etc.

Thanks for all the great articles it’s really interesting reads and helpful.

How many times have we the assembled heard this sap story before? The congenital beta who’s as cool as a cucumber with girls when the pressure’s off, but becomes a try-hard troubadour as soon as the prospect of s-s-s-sexual intimacy or, worse, relationship finality, looms. It’s a script that men appear bedeviled to play until someone smacks them straight.

Just keep this handy maxim in mind:

CH Maxim #57: Beta males mate guard, alpha males disregard.

There will be exceptions to this, but as a guiding life principle, you’ll go more right than wrong following it. When your girlfriend gets jealous, don’t appease. Do that and you may as well count the days till she blitzkriegs your balls. Instead, playfully acknowledge her jealousy in a way that implicitly alleviates her worst fears. For instance, “Keep it coming, Your jealousy is giving me a chub. *make stupid exaggerated expression of joy so she knows you’re mocking her* You like me! I’m fuckin tickled pink.”

The thing to understand about very long-term relationship game is that your worst enemy is familiarity fatigue. The both of you will fall into predictable routines, because humans are path of least resistance maximizers. If you want the LTR bad enough, you’ll have to do things that shake up the ordinary that she’s become accustomed to. That could mean a lot of things (CH favors fast getaways), or it could mean having children (CH again favors fast getaways), as long as whatever you do isn’t something she could see coming. Also, peer into the CH archives for “relationship game”. Lots of pertinent stuff by men who have been down the road you’re on.

***

Email #6

Just how universal is game?, asks a reader.

Hi Heartiste,

do you think game is completely universal, or is it somewhat race-dependent? Is the optimal alphaness different if you want to maximise your chances to bang a white/black/asian girl?

Personally I guess it is race dependent, and is nicely symmetrical to the r-K human spectrum:
black->max alpha asshole game
white->more subtle alpha, intermediate
asian->beta may do it, it’s more important to play your provider card…

It’s a false dichotomy to presume game must be either universalist or particularist. There are general game principles that are universal (e.g., confidence, teasing, charm, and power are attractive to all women) and there are game tactics that will differ depending on the race of the woman, the race of the man, or the cultural context within which each resides (e.g., the effective ratio of beta provider game to alpha ambivalence game).

No doubt the races of women differ in some respects regarding their receptivity to American style game, but these differences can be accommodated without chucking the entire game framework. Your spectrum is a good start, but I’d warn against overplaying the amount of stone cold alpha that black women love or the amount of courtly beta provider game that asian women love. I’ll give you two quick stories from my life to illustrate what I mean.

One black girl I dated certainly loved my disappearing act and my cocksureness. But when she saw me out once with a blonde on a lunch date, her crestfallen face told me everything I needed to know about her feelings. The ultimate “aloof alpha” card had been played, and it drove her into a depressed tailspin, where some simple gestures of beta commitment on my part would have brought her back into my arms, if I had desired that.

One other time I was set up on a date with a tall, elegant asian woman by a friend. We went carousing downtown together, but the sexual energy never seemed to spark. A few days later, my friend accosted me and asked me what happened. I said that I tried, but she just wasn’t giving any signals that she wanted more. I chalked it up to her asianness and her need to take it especially slow. He replied, “She wanted it, but you weren’t pushing for it. She said you never made a move.” I considered that, and realized I may have poisoned my own game by making assumptions based on her race about the level of alphatude she would welcome.

The lesson should be clear, but this isn’t meant as a contradiction of the existence of racial differences in female attraction triggers. Yes, if you date black (more precisely, *culturally* American black) women, you’ll need more up-front, loud, borderline obnoxious, socially dominating game. If you date asian women, you’ll want a lower intensity game, one which requires perhaps a few more intimations of your relationship-mindedness and romanticism.

Then there are the complications that arise from unspoken friction created by interracial game. An asian man will have to compensate for his assumed betatude by being more alpha with white and black women than would white or black men with those women. A black man will have to tone it down with white and asian women, and “act white” to allay (mostly justifiable) fears that he’s too aggressive or socially low value.

You might say the sweet spot is to be a white man, and on that point I won’t argue.

This Valentino’s Day, let us give tribute to the great white, and quasi-white, master romancers of European history. They have taken the rhythms of the mating jungle and elevated it to symphonies of seduction.

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DragonfromCY writes,

Urgent advice requested, there’s an opportunity for mischief in outing a liar. Bare-bones summary: 6 months dating a flaming s–t (far too long, I know, but the sex is great), going to a big bday party with her tomorrow.

She says there are no exes coming and she hasn’t hooked up with any of the men who are gonna be there–but from a quick perusal of her computer it’s clear she’s f—d at least one of them (a few weeks before meeting me), a guy who has a girlfriend (and cheated on her with my s–t girlfriend) so it’s like their dirty little secret. “This is between me and you, right?” he wrote to her, when she offered him “a ride”. She still keeps in touch with him, texting him stuff like “hey dude what’s going on with you” etc. That to me was the death knell of our hooking up–I don’t even want her as a f-buddy. She lied that she didn’t keep in touch with exes.

The guy will most likely be at the party with his girlfriend, and I’ll be introduced to him. I’d like to amuse myself by watching her hamster spin. I want to dump her soon. I might even wink at the guy and insinuate subtly that I know. Any advice on how to f–k with her/his head? For fun of course!

You can safely assume any girl who keeps in serious contact with an ex is still having sex with him, and then act accordingly. If you’re right, you dump a cheater. If you’re wrong, you dump a drama queen who loves to mentally cheat. Win-win.

Exes should be treated like vaporware: You can let people know you have them, but beyond that, they don’t exist. This holds for men and women, but for different reasons. It’s difficult for men to be “””friends””” with exes because nearly every man retains a desire to tap that ass one more time. That feeling won’t go away until the day he sees that his ex has gone post-Wall. Unfortunately for most men, exes don’t want sex with them. This is because women initiate the majority of relationship break-ups. So being a “””friend””” with a female ex is apt to lead to psychological torment and beta orbiting blue balls for non-alpha men.

Women don’t necessarily want another go at exes, but of the exes they’ll continue contacting it’s a good bet they’re thinking of extracockicular activity. Therefore, regard with a wary eye any woman you’re dating who claims to be on exceedingly friendly terms with an ex.

The rule for men in relationships: Contact with an ex should continue only if either of these two conditions is met:

1. You know the ex still wants you, and sex-on-the-side is logistically favorable.

2. You have children with the ex.

The rule for women in relationships: There should be no contact with any exes, unless the ex is John Scalzi and thus presents no sexual threat. Or, like with men, your ex and you share children.

Now that we know the rules of the game, let’s attend to the reader’s question.

First, you’re right to dump this girl. She’s got the red flags of whoredom planted in every orifice, lying being the most obvious tell of her possible present and certain future infidelity. But a perfunctory dumping is just so… anti-climactic. You want more bang for your headfuck. Remember, your beef isn’t with your girlfriend’s ex as much as it is with your girlfriend, so target your firepower on her. As the sexual gatekeepers, women should always be held the more responsible party for any illicit dalliances they undertake.

(I know that last line stuck in feminist craw. Because it’s true.)

What you want to avoid is a “let’s you and him fight” situation where your girlfriend fortuitously gets to enjoy two men blustering and posturing for her tawdry benefit. That means don’t aggressively confront her ex. Here’s my suggestion:

When you’re introduced to the ex, lead with, “I’ve heard so much about you.” Doesn’t matter if it’s true. (It’s better if false.) Watch your girlfriend’s reaction. If she hadn’t told you anything about him, she’ll become perceptibly uncomfortable. Savor these few seconds with a smile so broad she’ll think you’re guarding a Fort Knox stash of secrets about her.

Nervous chit chat will follow. Lean in like you’re about to tell the two of them (or three of them if his GF is also part of the group) a dirty secret of your own, then say “Hey, I was going to keep this between me and you [look at your GF], but [her ex] wouldn’t mind hearing this.” Your smile should now be reaching Joker proportions.

You say, “I saw my ex here, and she is crazy. She loves taking me for a ride.” Hold it, hoooooold it. Look at the ex. “You know what I mean? Anyhow, could you guys just kinda circle around me so maybe she doesn’t see me? If she comes over, pretend like we’re in deep conversation. Christ, I may need to bolt.”

Then they’ll chime in with something, it’s irrelevant. All you’re doing is extracting the id from your girlfriend’s ego bunker and forcing it to manifest in the awkward contortions of her face. You want to savor that crimson blush, her foot shuffling, and her attempts to cut off the conversation with feeble excuses. This is your one act play, and you will make it count.

Continue. “How close are you two? Can I trust you alone together? Haha, just busting your chops. I’ve gotta go, babe. Do you mind if I leave you here with [her ex]? No hanky panky, all right?” Finish it with a coup de grace shit-eating grin.

At this juncture, anything can happen. She might slink away disgracefully and meekly request she join your departure. Or, more likely, she’ll be experiencing something akin to septic shock, and stand there like a dummy, trying to make sense of her cratering bowels. Whatever you do in response, DON’T let on that you know the score. Pretend ignorance. This whole circus depends on plausible deniability and soul-shivving ambiguity. You’re not starting a fight with your girlfriend; you’re starting a fight *within* your girlfriend.

All will become clear to her in a few days time when she hasn’t gotten a single call or text from you. Relish the thought of her paranoia.

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