Christmas Eve Lone Wolf

VK recently wrote about “bunning up” (“settling down” for you old skool types) before the long cold winter drives the cuties indoors with their Netflix and Jenga slumber parties.  And it’s true — guys have a window of opportunity beween August and Thanksgiving to land a steady girl.  For reasons science hasn’t yet figured out, most breakups happen in August, usually precipitated by the women, who then go on a fall shopping spree for a new beau.  This is your opportunity to strike.  There is a crackle and sizzle in the autumn air as the girls radiate that “please just don’t fuck this up and you can have me” vibe.  The last thing they want is to be alone during the holidays.

A good rule of thumb is to bring your A game before the temps drop into the 30s.  Once the deep chill hides everyone under layers of wool and couples start appearing with their hands in each others’ pockets you’ll find your pickings slim.  But there is one glaring exception.  Perhaps the greatest pickup night of the year, yes even better than Halloween or New Years Eve, is Christmas Eve.

There won’t be many girls out on Christmas Eve but that won’t matter because the one or two you meet (and they will usually be by themselves lamenting their singlehood with a captive bartender) are out for one reason — to get swept off their feet by a guy who will take their minds off their misery.  Meet a reasonably attractive girl on Christmas Eve and if your game is minimally competent you are virtually guaranteed to close the deal that night.

The key is to not make it seem like you are two lonely souls destined to cross paths in a grungy hole in the wall.  That shit only works in the movies.  The reality is that it ruins her fantasy to meet a guy who is just as much a loser in love as she is.  So play up the angle that you have so many family obligations this holiday season you just needed a break from it all and a strong drink in a warm bar sounded perfect.  Tell her you never expected to meet anyone as cool as her out on a night like this.

Running game on a lone wolf means you can segue into rapport building quicker than normal.  A minute to spark attraction is all you’ll need.  Once her eyes are sparkling, move her over to a couch in a dark corner, ask her if she’d like to learn something about herself, and run a few psychological quizzes on her.  Then, lower your lids and your tone of voice and summon the sexual animal in you.  Christmas pheromones.

The last time I did this we left the bar at 9 since they closed early.  We bought a six pack of Michelob Light at the local Chinese take-out which is open year-round.  Since all the bars were closed and I deemed it too soon to head back to my place, we found a streetlamp and cracked open a few beers in the cold night air.  Not a single car drove by.  The city was quiet.  The context and atmosphere did half my work for me.