There are two types of chicks that give me headaches.
The girl who gets aroused by witty banter. Usually this will go on for hours until she is sufficiently lubricated for sex, and then another three hours after sex to seal the bonding process. Eventually, I give up on girls like this, and turn one eye to the TV while she banters into my exposed ear.
Please, Witty Banter Woman, get your endless witty banter foreplay with a gay boyfriend (they are known to have the gene for witty banter) and then come back to me for the nonverbal coup de grace. Why do you think hours of verbal sparring, double entendres, and superclever sexual innuendo will get and keep my cock hard? I blew my witty banter load on the first run-up to your pussy, when it mattered. Maybe if you were being oh-so-clever while inserting yankee candles into your pussy I might be motivated to parry your repartee.
The other type is Political Activist Chick. Nothing drains the mood faster than a heated one-way discussion about abortion or George Bush while my hand is sliding up your thigh. Unless you have something truly original to say, I don’t care. You may think arguing over politics is a romantic way to build a connection, but it only makes me want to kick you out in favor of porn. I have learned through hard, annoying experience that 90% of DC girls, especially supposedly smart girls who have graduated from a Seven Sisters college, have retarded political views that parrot whatever happens to be the consensus among their peers. The remaining 10% have rational opinions and are also smart enough to know that it’s not sexy to talk politics.
America took a turn for the worse once single women started voting in droves.
Witty Banter Woman and Political Activist Chick wistfully remind me of one of my Russian ex-gfs who would just sit there and knit or organize her recipe book in between giving me world class hummers. Sometimes she’d spice up our blessedly short convos with a loving Slavic nickname for me (I think it was loving). Her grasp of the nuances and idioms of English were not great so hours of witty banter and political sermonizing were automatically off the table. Not talking keeps the passion burning longer.
Finding the perfect woman is proving to be a chore. Viva sexbots!
Growing up in a house full of women, Gilmore Girls, Dawson’s Creek, and Woody Allen, witty banter for me is no problem. I can get in my zone with it like my second language.
Now as far as those broads the like to all talk politics, if I meet one from a Seven Sister college the first thing I think is “recovering lezbo”. The kind of girls that are down for a threesome and making out with their bff’s after two lines of coke. I just sit back wait for them to start talking all political then slyly ask them,
“What are your opinions on the taste of bush”
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lol vk
roissy i saw a figure that if you’re under 35, you’ll probably get to bang a sexbot. will you make it?
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I’m in 50% agreement, Roissy, a new record for me. Witty banter is a turnon.
But political talk is such a turnoff. Really, I don’t want to discuss the presidential election or global warming or whatever. It just makes me feel like I’m at work.
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“What are your opinions on the taste of bush”
You obviously must be referring to an act of Presidential cannibalism and forgot to use upper case for the “b”. For the other, wonderful type of bush, the one for which lower case is correct, has tragically been shaved and waxed into near-extinction :((((
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Women get a kick of endorphins for running their mouths that’s why they love witty banter. If you land yourself a girl that doesn’t speak your language very well, keep note how much she talks to her mom to compensate. You’ll notice, its a lot.
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We have political activist chick with the same hackneyed political anti-Bush all-about-abortion hivemind mindset here in NY, except instead of the Seven Sisters thing, they overdosed on Sex and the City and JAPiness. Meaning they are armchair activists yet horribly narcissistic and materialistic at the same time, making them extra annoying.
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http://www.YankeeCandle.com
Roissy, I presume you weren’t referring to the above?
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that’s the one. tuna-scented, natch.
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I agree with a lot of what you’re saying here and it would be equally irritating to me as many men are just that tiresome too. But your
“Finding the perfect woman is proving to be a chore. Viva sexbots!”?
Why not try growing a pair so you CAN HANDLE a real woman for more than one or two rolls in the sack? Is it just me, or does the percentage of men (alpha or beta) with courage diminishing? Sorry, but if you’re still endlessly poking around hoping to find the illusive perfect woman you’re probably watching too much television, which by the way is geared toward a 12 year old maturity level.
Many a truth is spoken in jest, is it not?
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glad to see you returned to your original by-line. btw, this post seems a little “bitter-beta”…
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Baiting women again Roissy? This post is not your best persona. But it plays to your base audience, so, I guess you may as well throw them a sex-bots-are-better-women-shouldn’t-bother-me-and-I-didn’t-even-want-the-smart-one-who-wouldn’t-go-home-with-me-anway, er, bone.
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The best way to avoid activist-people is simple.
Don’t date any girl whose parents made six figures or more. It excludes a tiny fraction of the population, but makes your life much easier.
Of course, it makes it harder to mary rich.
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Who’s Mary Rich?
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I found your perfect woman.
She’s a redheaded Russian, 23, slim, doesn’t talk much. Seems to have an intelligent air to her. She stays out of the limelight (GF material). She has huge blue eyes and a femininely-shaped face.
I can send you a photo if you’d like, I’m personally acquainted with her.
But be warned, I’m more of a yenta than a Heidi Fleiss.
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happy new year sugar pie! I like the orig tagline too… and to secret asain man…what IF her parents started out poor..but … through entrepreneurial enterprise wound up rather wealthy???….
xoxo
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Sexbots? I thought only betas were into those. Roissy, is there something you’re not telling us….;)
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Witty banter is great — it’s like dancing. The ethnic groups who seduce the best are also pretty good at verbal foreplay and dancing (e.g., Africans, Italians), while the least seductive are verbally retarded and stiff-bodied (e.g., northeast Asians).
Wanting to cut right to the chase makes the person seem a bit too eager, so that the ability to hang with her in dancing, flirting, and performing in general, is an honest signal of having your supply already taken care of — you can afford to waste some time engaged in banter.
As you say, gay guys are good at this, but that’s true for dancing too — assuming you don’t give off a general gay vibe, it’s no big deal.
Plus there’s something exhilarating about getting into a mock-fight with a girl. Maybe it’s just that, as a pretty boy with a BMI of 20, I get to pick on someone my own size.
Agree about the activist chick, though. They are a sub-group of the “personal is political” group, whether activist or not. College freshmen are pretty free of this disease (if they catch it at all, it tends to start sophomore year), so there’s another reason to date 18 year-olds.
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I love love love witty banter. And though I’ve never been easy to seduce, witty banter is one way that I could (purely in theory, you understand), be won over.
Agnostic, I think what you say is mostly accurate, but I would add that true “WASP” types, esp. in England on their own turf, can be among the most effective witty banterers, in spite of all their inhibitions.
p.s. I noticed when I lived in the US that dancing skills improve greatly – no matter what the race of the dancer – below the Mason-Dixon line.
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i agree with roissy. witty banter is banal when compared to real conversations. witty banter seems to be a defense mechanism to the persistent buffeting of pickup/seduction techniques like kino.
and one-way discussions are absolutely the fastest way to lose interest in a person.
great post.
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rina: She has huge blue eyes and a femininely-shaped face.
I can send you a photo if you’d like, I’m personally acquainted with her.
privet! except for the age this description fits one of my exes (russian) exactly. 8-o
feel free to send loving jpegs.
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To me a good kind of “witty banter” is not so much a witty one-upsmanship sparring (too much work) as it is a harmonious feeling out of each others’ vibes while keeping the conversation light and funny.
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The problem with witty banter is that if you go too far with it, a girl sees you as a fun friend to flirt with, but not someone that she would date.
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Clio — the English show the importance of tradition and convention. Most northern Europeans are not very devilish when it comes to flirting, but the English do have that tradition of witty banter, which we don’t here. The same goes for the male appearance: that’s where modern men’s tailoring comes from, and they tend to wear bolder patterns and much more color than American Anglos or Scandinavians.
I wonder how much longer that will last, since from all reports the English traditions have been moribund for a couple of decades already. When I was in college (’99 – ’03), the wealthy English guys struck me as more “Eurotrash” than English.
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[phillip K. Dick said] “Who’s Mary Rich?”
That’s her on the left
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/02/business/02church.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
[suicide_blond said] what if her parents started out poor..but … through entrepreneurial enterprise wound up rather wealthy?
It’s the sheltered folk who are likely to be Kumbayah, not entrepreneurs.
[SFG said] Sexbots? I thought only betas were into those. Roissy, is there something you’re not telling us….;)
When they’re advanced enough, even the alphas will give ’em a whirl. And Roissy will be a codger by then.
“so there’s another reason to date 18 year-olds”
Ahh, Agnostic goes Gannon, yippee!
[Roissy said] “feel free to send loving jpegs”
I knew this blog would end up as a forum for Roissy meeting Rina. Don’t forget to walk her through Bedford-Sty and shield her from the cold wind, dude.
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http://www.guygetsgirl.com/index.php?hop=starsigns
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smmothvirus has it absolutely right. I can’t tell you how many times the girl has laughed uprorariously at things I’ve said, and I’ve still gotten nothing more than a rejection or a “nice meeting you” at the end. Since this is dc, maybe I *should* start talking about work or something … 😉
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