If you are a pussywhipped beta whose girlfriend will get tired of having you as a girlfriend… if you stop mid-wipe after taking a shit to do her bidding… if your balls climb up into your chest cavity every time she chews you out… if the thought of her being displeased with you gives you a full diaper, then you need to make it your life mission to haul into orbit the one thing that tells her you love her and will never ever not let her get her way.
For two billion lifetimes’ salary and undiscovered advances in physics, you can impress her with a diamond star. At a diameter of 4,000 km you can virtually lock in that she’ll never cheat on you in front of your face, because she’ll be too busy angling it in the light to show off to her yenta friends.
Planet-sized diamonds are forever.
if this is cubic zirconia i’m dumping your ass!
On my entitlement scale, a woman who would want, or need, such a diamond would be a 10+ American living in Manhattan who mainlines Cosmo and Jimmy Choo.
Not to be deterred, the forces of light have gone on the attack with a class action lawsuit against De Beers for unlawfully monopolizing the sale of diamonds. A proposed settlement is in the works. Now it’s your turn, betaboys. Since women will never willingly give up their prerogative to drain a man’s finances on a useless rock for the privilege of giving him access to the same pussy once a month, it’s up to you to grow a hairy pair and take a stand. There are two ways you can do this:
1. Just say no. If she walks, then at least you’ll know your company was worth less to her than a piece of jewelry. End result: keep your dignity intact.
2. Buy her a “fake” (AKA unmined) diamond and don’t tell her it’s not a De Beers-approved product. She’ll never know and you’ll be able to spend more of your money on worthwhile consumer goods, like sexy lingerie for your mistress. If she even asks if the ring is real, then you will have proof that her priorities are out of whack.
I predict this will never happen. The world is just too bottom-heavy with lickspittle betas.
The engagement ring is meant as a symbol of love and commitment. It is cheapened when a gargantuan price tag is put on it. A colorful piece of string tied around her wrist would work better.
On my entitlement scale, a woman who would want, or need, such a diamond would be a 10+ American living in Manhattan who mainlines Cosmo and Jimmy Choo.
Chix like that are probably the most likely to be shaved. Blecch.
LikeLike
Didn’t you write about this previously?
In any case, yes, the ring is a symbol of love and commitment. Some people think that automatically means the diamond is the best choice because it’s the “hardest substance” and therefore most enduring, signifying that the love will last forever. But the price is outrageous for a piece of jewelry. I didn’t have a diamond engagement ring and don’t want one, which probably makes me a 2 on the hotness / entitlement scale.
Chix like that are probably the most likely to be shaved. Blecch.
People shave to facilitate oral sex sans hair getting stuck in the partner’s teeth. I wonder why you hate that so much. Did some unshaven woman imprint you when you were young?
LikeLike
I wanna get married for the KitchenAid Mixer, not the rock. Oh yeah, and access to the same boring cock once a month.
LikeLike
if a man and a woman feel true love, is that ground for calling him a beta?
LikeLike
If she requires that he give her a functionally worthless yet fantastically expensive gift as a demonstration of that love — either directly by request or indirectly by feeling disappointed if it is not up to her standards — and he fulfills that requirement, then yes, “beta” is one way to describe it. “Travesty” is another way. A symbol of love should be exactly that — a symbol, priceless when considered in the context of the relationship but without value in and of itself.
Really, the only option in this situation is the first one. The second means the relationship is built on a foundation lies and will collapse when those lies shift or are exposed.
LikeLike
If a woman suddenly wants a diamond, I find myself suddenly wanting a younger woman.
LikeLike
Right on Reggie.
rinaface – Women that question this should ask themselves, would I be happy with this guy if we were both dirt poor and our only comfort was each other? If you say no, then you’re more interested in his money/possessions/status/power (big one in DC). If on the other hand it’s a deep rooted mutual care and understanding of each other, then you’ve found real love.
By the same token I’m not saying that being socially well off should be a negative. I’m simply stating that if the only way to express true love is by spending a ton of money that it isn’t love.
LikeLike
Sometimes, the girl doesn’t care as much about the size of the diamond as the guy does. The girl wants a nice simple non-hideous ring, the guy insists on a big tacky monstrosity to show off how affluent he is. It becomes a status symbol
Looking around at friends and acquaintances, that scenario is just as common, if not more so, than the gem-grubbing girlfriend.
And on a more aesthetic note, bigass diamonds are TACKY.
LikeLike
Shannon, what do you mean by a non-hideous ring? A smaller, more “tasteful” diamond? (Putting aside the bloody history of the diamond trade or the cartels’ manipulation of the market to drive up prices by artificially limiting the supply.) What if it’s a non-hideous cubic zirconium? Or even Roissy’s idea of a piece of string?
Somehow I doubt that most American women would be all right with proudly show off their engagement bracelet made from simple yarn to their friends, especially if their friends all have glittering rocks of their own on their fingers. Not that it’s completely their fault: De Beers’ sinisterly brilliant “diamonds are forever” ad campaign has convinced four or five generations of Americans that not only is a diamond engagement ring a long tradition — it’s not — it is in fact a requirement for getting married.
LikeLike
The funniest thing is that before some guy (that’s right, it was a mother fucking MAN) in the DeBeers marketing department thought this shit up back in the 20’s or 30’s, an engagment ring was effectively any ring worn on a particular finger.
It was just a symbol, not a price tag, of the commitment and intention of marriage. . . it was often a family heirloom or older wedding ring, or could be worn on the other hand until the actual ceremony, etc. The catty, harpiness of women in groups that resulted from the bra-burning fiasco that was ugly women voting in large numbers has turned it into the status it is today. The ring is just an example, any time your “love” has conditions on it, she’s a status/money whore (or just plain whore) who is more concerned with where you take her or what you buy her than with you. If you give in to this, you fall firmly into Roissy’s BETA category.
On the flip side – Shannon – you are correct, in that it can become a “keeping up with the Joneses” type of symbol for the guy, but then again the girl herself can serve that function as well. This kind of man usually masturbates to Forbes or rememeberd accolades from the other office guys, either way, it’s fucking bullshit. If the relationship is healthy, neither of you will need that. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it, just that it shouldn’t be necessary.
LikeLike
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting a small, tasteful ring. They’re pretty and shiny, and who doesn’t like to get a present? If it’s something she’s going to wear every day for the rest of her life, make sure it’s something nice she’d want to wear. Yarn is simply not going to hold up, unless it’s yarn made out of diamonds. Which takes us back to the original problem.
I also think it would be pretty cool if guys wore engagement rings as well.
LikeLike
Post 10 – I did not spell “remembered” correctly, obviously. My regrets.
LikeLike
This kind of man usually masturbates to Forbes
“Ooooh, a puff-piece interview with Google’s CEO …. oh God this is good …. so fine …. I can’t hold out …. AAAAAAAAHHH!”
LikeLike
Women want expensive rings because they know that higher value wives get better rings. Men spend significantly more on engagement rings for younger wives.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12110-007-9018-9
A lower value ring could be a symbolic reflection of their own low mate value (for not being worth a better ring), the low value of their mate (who can’t afford a better ring), or both.
Although now that women work, why should I buy a ring at all? The milk is free, so I better be the one getting a nice bribe if I am going to get suckered into buying a cow. Let her waste 3 months salary begging for my continued interest and fidelity. Or better yet, let’s be equal.
LikeLike
Women want expensive rings because they know that higher value wives get better rings. Men spend significantly more on engagement rings for younger wives.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12110-007-9018-9
A lower value ring could be a symbolic reflection of their own low mate value (for not being worth a better ring), the low value of their mate (who can’t afford a better ring), or both.
Although now that women work, why should I buy a ring at all? The milk is free, so I better be the one getting a nice bribe if I am going to get suckered into buying a cow. Let her waste 3 months salary begging for my continued interest and fidelity. Or better yet, let’s be equal.
LikeLike
impromptu poll:
raise your hand if you’re married or in a loving relationship
LikeLike
“This kind of man usually masturbates to Forbes”
Nah. Everyone knows Fortune is the better magazine.
Wait, what?
LikeLike
A colorful piece of string tied around her wrist would work better.
Word, Roissy. And when the DeBeers’ scheme collapses and/or synthetic diamonds are indistinguishable from mined diamonds (inevitable), I don’t want to be the sap who bought a worthless rock I spent 3 months salary on.
LikeLike
rinaface – We are married, and in a loving relationship – otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten married.
LikeLike
Dear Roissy:
I like the fake ring idea, but can’t any decent jeweler tell her thats it fake?
Zeke
LikeLike
A previous girlfriend and I were discussing marriage four years ago. Then she told me she had a certain image to keep up and that she “needed” a $20k ring. She even cut out a picture from a magazine to show me what a $20k ring looks like.
Thank the Lord I came to my senses and broke up with her. Now she’s 37 and still single. Guess she hasn’t found her sucker yet.
LikeLike
Diamond is an arrangement of carbon atoms, and carbon is one cheap element (unlike precious metals which are starting to come back from their twenty-five year vacation from centuries of duty as cold cash). Nanotechnology will soon make a rucksack full of perfect replicas of The Hope Diamond cost less than a tank of gasoline.
Synthetics made with present technology (a high-tech version of Superman squeezing coal in his palm [that he cut and polished it in his palm was even more impressive]) are already good
http://tinyurl.com/jvg3
An expensive diamond is one of the most inane expenditures of money I can think of. In India, the bride gets gold, not glorified coal.
When I get married, it’s going to be a gold bands. Diamond-insisters need not apply.
LikeLike
Blah, if the woman at question was at all romantic, she’d go for ‘omg a ruby in the shape of a rose/heart, aww’ or something like that. And have her own favourite stone, and so on. But, yeah, not the most attractive ones who have a pedicure everyday or some such nonsense.
How do you turn a beta into an alpha, is the question? Although the recurrent implication in this blog is that women do it to the guy or the feminist revolution did it or whatever, do you seriously believe that the vast majority of those kids that were picked on in high school would turn into alphas?
Assuming a woman in a relationship can influence and control a beta, how would she change him into an alpha?
LikeLike
““A cynic is just a romantic whose had his heart broken one too many times.”
LikeLike
Engagement rings and $35,000 weddings are why I don’t bother dealing with women. It’s just easier to stay single and not to try. For the money that you’d blow on these things, I could do something that interests me. Hell, I could use that as a down payment on a house.
I could find girls who don’t want that, but those girls are ugly and not sexually attractive at all.
So who needs women when there’s cheap, efficient porn. 🙂
LikeLike
25 David, I hope your disillusionment is short lived. Have felt the same way about men not because they’re not worth it of course (you can attest to that I’m sure!) but because of my limited personal experiences. When you consider just how many people there are in the world, it’s too bad we get hung up on the few with whom we have bad experiences with. Of course being that your current attitude is why try; you’re 100 times smarter than most to just stay single and not sweat it. So many couple up with the first warm body they can find to avoid loneliness only to realize two lonely people is far worse than one. In my opinion it’s 1000 times better to be single than in a bad relationship.. You then have all the time in the world to fine tune your desires and yourself into something to get excited about, or watch porn for the rest of your life.
As far as diamonds go, I went for a custom designed very high quality 1/2 carat diamond with 3 hand picked rubies at $2800. I probably got more compliments on that than many women with larger rocks.
LikeLike
sara you’re beginning to have conversations with your many permutations. please choose a handle and stick with it.
LikeLike
I’ll say it again: another reason to date 18 year-olds.
LikeLike
I feel honored that you would address me directly. Should I curtsy? Just having fun, honestly. I’m a little intimidated by the number of rules on your site, but not being one who follows rules I don’t feel the need to strain myself in order to adhere to them.
Back to my new moniker. I love this one and will probably stick to it for awhile. It has a special meaning to me. “new anonymous”… in German. “ms perpetual rant” just no longer suited me and one day “neu anonym” may not suit me either. I am an organic, evolving being.
“permutations” from the verb permutare ‘change completely’ (see permute ). I absolutely love the concept of change and renewal. Yesterday is gone, five minutes ago is dead and gone, so here we are, now is all there is.
My reason for this particular post is to talk about “validity”. A number of your more infamous or famous posters have chosen to bandy this concept about and I find it interesting. Am wondering if a woman who wants a hugely expensive diamond ring is trying to “validate’ herself, her relationship or both.
#1 a person never needs validation. Your birth is validation enough. You are alive! What could possibly need validating? If you are here you are meant to be here plain and simple and are worthy of being here. But if someone feels a marriage needs particular validation in the form of an expensive token….then the act of trying to validate render it invalid.
LikeLike
I’ll say it again: another reason to date 18 year-olds.
Not really. Eventually, you may want to marry them, and then they’ll promptly demand their expensive ring and wedding too.
LikeLike
Eventually, you may want to marry them, and then they’ll promptly demand their expensive ring and wedding too.
I have read many cases of “average” people getting small, private ceremonies and not getting big expensive rings, which is starting to become a norm among those who are looking to save money for a house, given the expensive housing prices nowadays. My own case corroborates with this behavior.
Demand is met usually with supply, or else it dries up. I don’t know where all these women with super inflated egos come from — maybe the coasts where men with a ton of money make skirt chasing a sport like baseball here. In the corn country, er midwest, women are a bit more down to earth and don’t seem like they want to rope men into permanent debt. After all, his debt becomes her debt post-nuptials. I work with many women whose engagement rings don’t scream more than $3k, which is about the price of a new big screen TV and game console system.
I could find girls who don’t want that, but those girls are ugly and not sexually attractive at all.
Those girls exist and some are attractive (though more likely you won’t find them as attractive as other men might), but you haven’t bothered to try to find them. You want girls to come onto you, and aggressively so. I think you have a bit of a sub streak (hence you’re into heavy makeup, nails, and the whole Dominatrix look). So perhaps that’s why you prefer the porn fantasy — your early sexual experiences imprinted you to prefer this type of woman, yet you have no idea how to find her.
Try chat rooms, online places or bookstores where atheists hang out. I once frequented an IRC channel filled with atheists, and nearly every woman either was into BDSM or knew about it. Weird experience for a teenager, but eye-opening for sure. Long-distance relationships can be kinkier and better for your fantasies. Anyway, I won’t wish you luck, because you still won’t go for it. Maybe in time.
LikeLike
24– that’s some bullshit.
if you are in a bad relationship you can just end it. thus at worst it will be the same as being lonely and single.
i dig the post above about synthesizing diamonds. the problem is that technology is worth more to diamond people to sit on and not implement than it is to anyone to go ahead with.
gold is a special element, diamonds are a silly fluke of nature.
LikeLike
In the corn country, er midwest, women are a bit more down to earth and don’t seem like they want to rope men into permanent debt
Yeah, but those women aren’t hot. They’re plain, sexless, and believe in Protestant cults.
Those girls exist and some are attractive (though more likely you won’t find them as attractive as other men might), but you haven’t bothered to try to find them
They may be beautiful, but they’re just not sexually appealing. Thinking about them just doesn’t give an erection at all.
I think you have a bit of a sub streak (hence you’re into heavy makeup, nails, and the whole Dominatrix look).
It’s really interesting to note that when I read erotic stories, I read both male and female dominant mind control and transformation stories. My first entry into sexual content was via erotic stories with lots domination and submssion overtones, latex and rubber. Then shifted into mind control and transformation of women into “porn-starish” type women. After that, I simply shifted porn. Oddly, I didn’t start masturbating until I met the older woman and had sex with her.
You want girls to come onto you, and aggressively so.
Yeah, it would be nice. It makes me feel special and useful. Hell, that’s why I love the female dominated mind control stories.
perhaps that’s why you prefer the porn fantasy — your early sexual experiences imprinted you to prefer this type of woman, yet you have no idea how to find her
I lucked out in the fact that I found a 30 year old Canadian pothead who seemed turned on by my sexual fantasies, and she decided partially indulge in them with the nails and make up. She was admittedly surprised at my aggressiveness during sex…
Seriously, these women are rare creatures, and as far as I’m concerned, she was a fluke, and I was lucky that her b/f didn’t beat the shit out of me when he eventually caught us…
Try chat rooms, online places or bookstores
I actually had lots of private chats with women into the transformation stuff a few years ago, but that was such a time suck that I failed out of school since I spent all day acting out various roleplays with them. Then it was just too much of bore and too much effort once real porn came around with a non-filtered high speed connection…
LikeLike
The engagement ring is meant as a symbol of love and commitment. It is cheapened when a gargantuan price tag is put on it.
Actually, the engagement ring was originally intended as earnest money given for sex in advance of marriage. Back in the days when virginity was a crucial component of a woman’s value in the marriage market, she needed some way to make sure a man was serious about marrying her before she would sleep with him.
An expensive engagement ring served this purpose in two ways. First, the man would generally be unwilling to make that kind of financial sacrifice if he weren’t serious about marrying her. Second, if he didn’t go through with it, at least she got to keep the ring as compensation.
Granted, none of this is really relevant today, but still, it’s hard to cheapen a tradition that has always been about money.
LikeLike
#34. Actually, etiquette demands, and always has, that a woman offer to return the engagement ring, especially if she is the one who is breaking the engagement. If the man does so, there was and remains an expectation that he offer to let her keep the ring, but she should not take this for granted.
Also, don’t get too cynical about women and their interest in money as an aspect of marriage. That goes for the original post too. First, a man who is excessively cautious about spending his money is as unattractive as a woman who is too interested in his financial prospects. Second, back in the days when women were expected to remain at home with their children after marriage, a woman needed some assurance that the man she was marrying was a good provider, and was not going to be so stingy that he made her life, and the children’s lives, a misery.
Those men who want “traditional” marriages ought to keep this in mind.
LikeLike
First, a man who is excessively cautious about spending his money is as unattractive as a woman who is too interested in his financial prospects.
For some women, this sentence is only accurate if it’s changed to “cautious about spending his money on her. I don’t know any women who would be thrilled to find out that their man buys motorcycles and flat-screen TVs — in other words, things for himself — on a whim, but few of them would object, I think, to the various anniversary necklaces and such that De Beers are always pimping in an attempt to create even more faux-traditions. But taking the general case, neither sex should see cheapness as attractive. Providing for the future is important, of course, but life is for the living.
As to you second point, we’re no longer back in those days. I realize you were making the point for the benefit of the men here who want their women tending to the home and children, but there are plenty of career women out there with their own source of money who still expect the big diamond rock. And I’m not sure how an engagement ring shows a man is a good provider if he spends huge quantities of money on gifts that serve no purpose which takes away resources that could be better spent on keeping the children and wife fed, clothed, and sheltered. The expensive ring can serve as proof that the man can afford to blow money on trifles, but not when it’s expected of every man who wants to get married. Then it’s just a waste for those that can’t afford it.
LikeLike
34 Brandon, I found your explanation of the origin of the engagement ring very interesting. Can you provide a link for more information? Danke.
LikeLike
Women who still want the big diamond rock: Very interesting. I take your word for it that there are many women like this, because everyone on this site seems to believe it. Really, though, in the circles I travel in, I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman like this. If they were really so common, you’d think I might have encountered one somewhere. Of course, it’s possible that my friends are closet b**ches who hide their rings from me out of tact or fear of criticism, or that I simply don’t notice the things, but a really big diamond engagement ring is hard to conceal indefinitely.
LikeLike
Alias clio, I think it depends on where you live. DC is pretty status-obsessed, so I know women with some seriously scary rings. The bigger, the better.
Of course, most of these diamonds are poor quality and tackily set, but who cares when you’ve got such a great opportunity to show off how special and affluent you are?
But most of the married and engaged girls in my circle have tasteful, modest rings with a little personality.
LikeLike
Alias: You’re right. The fact that neither you nor any of your friends has a diamond engagement ring proves that no women want them. That must be why De Beers posted net profits of $336 million in the first half of 2005, the most recent year I could quickly find numbers for, off of more than $3 billion in sales (google “de beers profit”).
Come on. It’s great that you and your friends aren’t materialistic, but your anecdote isn’t proof of anything. Maybe it’s a matter of you being put off by my use of the colloquial “big diamond rock.” How about if I change it to “…women who still expect a diamond whose value is equal to one-sixth of a man’s yearly income.” Better?
LikeLike
No, no, Reggie and Shannon. My point wasn’t that such women don’t exist, or that they aren’t extremely common. But I’d guess that anything up to a third of women aren’t all that deeply, well, “engaged” by the diamond ring business.
As for De Beers and its profits, I think that has more to do with the diamond engagement ring having become a convention cut in stone (pardon me), than with women’s greedy determination to secure the biggest diamond possible.
Pardon me, but every now and then in my browsing on this site, I feel obliged to say a word or two in defense of my sex.
LikeLike
i will praise and defend women too. don’t go by the bitter postings of life’s failures (on either side of the XY divide). it’s a very sad thing when a man is afraid of women and harbors anger towards them. but what are you going to do ? they are beyond anyone’s help and don’t see themselves as needing help, anyway. same for women who are so “delicate” and so twisted up by life, that they develop severe neurosis. best not to engage them as nothing good can come of it.
the “cargo cult” phenomena is alive and well in present day America. and by that i mean so many people have these “formulas” fo rlife that have absolutely no bearing on how the world really works.
some beta who is pushed around by his wife has always been and will always be pushed around. if not by a woman then by his boss or a mean 13 year old.
LikeLike
I can’t believe the prizes of those rings! Over 30 000 dollars…?
Engagement clture really seems to be different here (Finland) and I’m rather glad about it. In here, people would think you were out of your mind if had a ring like that, unles you and your husband were millionaires. Seriously… (tarditional prize for a ring, like a hundred years ago, was suposedly one moths pay, but today it is considered by most to be absurd amount to pay for a ring).
Engagement rings here almost never have any diamonds or other stones. Usually they are plain golden bands (always for both, man and a woman) or maybe white gold. The actual wedding ring (for woman only) might have a diamond, but a modest one or it might be plain, too.
LikeLike
[…] months and the love was strong. Although I have repeatedly written about the engagement ring as the status symbol of the incorrigible whore, I realized that being in love with a woman will inspire a man to forego his self-interest, make […]
LikeLike
[…] is right. The matriarchy in all its silly manifestations — extravagant weddings, diamonds-nookie barter, pop culture propaganda, daddy government disease — is structured to handicap men. To cut […]
LikeLike
[…] hoping that will spur her to get back in shape. He is beginning to regret spending 20K on that diamond engagement ring. His eye wanders a lot more now, he showers her with fewer compliments, and the frequency of their […]
LikeLike
[…] PAYING. […]
LikeLike
Interesting how the moralists think that when prostitution is paid for with cash it is bad, but when it is paid for with diamonds it is good.
LikeLike
Fucking love this blog! I’d want his time and companionship over some shit ring. A man who blows money on tokens turns me off!
LikeLike
[…] PS: Ten chocolate bars doesn’t sound like a bad deal for sex with a hottie. Sure beats drowning in mortgage debt and blowing a wad on an engagement ring. […]
LikeLike
Women like diamonds for the same reason they like assholes. It’s a symbol of male prowess. The ultimate alpha male is Ghengis Khan. The psychopath conquerer is the best provider of high quality sperm and resources. Such a beast of power hands out precious stones as cheap trinkets in contempt of his harem bitches who love him for it. It is for him, like treating a woman like shit, low cost. By contrast, it is high cost for betas. Hence, it is a subsconscious sorting mechanism in women for sorting high quality from low quality males. Women consciously want it from betas to appease their subconscious desire for a supreme alpha for whom it is nothing. And unlike assholery, betas with game can’t deceive women into thinking they are alphas. If the big ring stresses you out, you’re not the real deal and they’ll cheat with a man who can piss away big stones. Paging Donald Trump.
LikeLike