Role playing is an effective method for bonding with girls. I like to role play with my dates, whether it’s preplanned or spontaneous. The act of assuming different personas and creating impromptu storylines seems to strike at a very primal core in women, making them giggle and light up with waves of pleasure. It’s like women crave this secret world you are inviting them into, a world of heightened sensation and exaggerated drama, as an antidote to their humdrum daily lives of pushing papers at work and emptying the litter box.
The better you are at improv, the wetter she will get. Docter/nurse, cop/speeder, teacher/disobedient student, pimp/hooker, CEO/secretary, irate manager/shoplifter… the pattern should be obvious.
On one date, I gave the girl a guided tour of an old (and very colorful) Russian Orthodox church, complete with ad libbed biographies of the various saints painted on the walls and ceilings. In my best wizened elder priest voice I pretended to welcome her into my confessional as she instantly caught on and slipped into the role of a naughty teenage girl who wished to confess her sin of indulging prurient thoughts of me. I called her “my child” a lot and she answered “yes, father” in lip-bitingly sweet girlish squeaks.
Another time, we went go-kart racing and play-acted a James Bond car chase scene through the narrow streets of Rome. She blew me a kiss as she sideswiped my go-kart into the rubber track wall. My British accent was horrible and her Italian accent left something to be desired, but it was the thought that counted.
But the best/worst role playing date I ever had was one that was more real than imaginary. As we were walking up the ave we stopped in front of the Church of Scientology building. Feeling mischievous and morbidly curious, I told my date we would be disillusioned D-list actors looking for enlightenment from alternative spiritual sources.
When we approached the door a bald, middle-aged man opened it a second before I was about to knock. He welcomed us in and as we stood in the foyer admiring the cartoonish portrait of L. Ron Hubbard hanging on the wall my date and I launched into our spiel about seeking spiritual fulfillment away from the “oppressive dogma of organized religion”. The guy’s face lit up like a home pregnancy test. He gave us the guided tour, enthusiastic but in a carefully measured speaking voice. Like a good salesman, he avoided scaring us off with the hard sell too early, instead asking us questions about ourselves and our search for meaning.
He asked if we had cameras (I lied) because apparently they have a no picture policy when people are present. We walked slowly around the main foyer peeking into each room while our guide spoke of the wonders of Dianetics (oddly, he never mentioned the E-meter which I wanted to try). The first room appeared to be an old study of thick, gnarled mahogany and floor-to-ceiling rows of bookshelves crammed with ancient tomes. There were a few library-style desks with reading lamps at which four men were seated, all of whom wearing green accountants’ eye visors and poring over books, brows furrowed in deep concentration. When we looked in, none of them glanced up from their books to acknowledge us.
At this point my date started to feel weirded out. Why? Because besides the green eyeshades, all those guys were dressed in the same clothes — white shirt, blue slacks, dark tie. And they seemed a little too engrossed in whatever they were reading.
The next room reminded me of that scene from A Clockwork Orange where they pry the guy’s eyes open with a metal contraption and force him to watch an endless montage of violent and pornographic video clips. It was a couple rows of neatly aligned empty chairs placed a few feet in front of a small movie screen. Nothing else, just that. If we were in any other residence, I wouldn’t have given it much thought, but the haunted vibe emanating from this mansion made me think of the worst scenarios. I tried to snap a picture of the room by cradling the camera in my palm and holding it tight by my hip, but our host wouldn’t stop looking directly at me.
While our scientologist friend blabbed, my date’s expression changed from giddiness to discomfort. She was no longer a D-list spiritually-deprived celebrity. She had had enough. The cultish vibes were beginning to accumulate. I cut him off and said we had to go, and he shoved some pamphlets in our hands. Stepping outside felt relieving.
The mood was ruined. I didn’t get a kiss from her at the end of the date. Scientology had cockblocked me.
I wonder if this is how normal people felt during the inception of the world’s major religions. Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, egalitarianism… they all must have struck naturally skeptical people as cultish and absurd when they first began. Only when enough time has passed do religions acquire a veneer of respectability and deference. Enough time has not passed for Scientology to hide its cultish essence under somber rituals and literary texts.
Respectability and deference are gained when a cult has acquired political power, time alone is not a factor.
Religion is in part, designed to cockblock. I thought you would have figured that out by now.
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Agree with DF, but true religion never cock blocks, but what passes for it does.
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I agree with the idea of Role Playing, sometimes it adds a fun element to a relationship, plus it’s a sign that the girl is a little more down to earth.
But what’s fun about being a Scientologist? It would seem to be more fun to play something as you suggested earlier. I don’t understand how being a Scientologist could ever be seen as fun/sexy to any level of normal girl
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manager/shoplifter hahahaha good one
There is a role playing “date” that is soooo good there is no way I’m sharing it
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Role playing is so yesterday but if it works, it works.
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The word “cult” has too many meanings and definitions to be a very useful descriptive term. Some of those meanings are pejorative (as your comments here imply) and others are neutral. Here’s a list from the Random House Dictionary, copied from Wikipedia:
1. A particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies;
2. An instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, esp. as manifested by a body of admirers;
3. The object of such devotion;
4. A group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc;
5. Group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols;
6. A religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader;
7. The members of such a religion or sect;
8. Any system for treating human sickness that originated by a person usually claiming to have sole insight into the nature of disease, and that employs methods regarded as unorthodox or unscientific.
Obviously you could call Christianity or Buddhism a cult by some of these definitions without any objection from their adherents.
Regarding the negative connotations of the word, when police and the legal profession turn their attention to cults, they have a special kind of organization in mind that doesn’t really fall under any of the above definitions. They mean a group that is secretive, not only about its organization but also its beliefs and rituals; that discourages people from mixing with their old friends and families unless they too join the cult; and that may use mind-control techniques like keeping people awake for long periods of time, etc. Those are the ones they warn people about.
p.s. Christianity was certainly secretive in its beginnings – its adherents faced the risk of death for practising it. In that sense I suppose you could say it was a “cult” by the more pejorative definition of that term. But it was also a sin to the early Christians to deny one’s faith, so they did acknowledge it when challenged.
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Lesson: Don’t bring women to creepy cult edifices on dates. That’s one to grow on.
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I double dare you to seduce a Scientologist. We want a full report!!
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Cockblocked by Scientology. Hmm, perhaps Scientology is the greatest alpha of all.
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The mood was ruined. I didn’t get a kiss from her at the end of the date. Scientology had cockblocked me.
Haha, great story! I especially like the contrast between the Russian church date and the Scientology date. I can totally see how you would forgivably miscalculate how creepy the Scientology building would be.
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Role playing? Kinky. Yes, I’ve tried it…oh wait…twenty sided dice don’t count.
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1) Date + Cult = what the hell were you thinking?
2) Anyway, speaking of roleplaying, do you do your research on romance/erotic novels? I think your reading may be far wider than you divulge 😉
I say this because a lot of mass manufactured romance reflects patterns you have identified. Actually, it would be quite smart of you to have a look at the female psyche through such research and I wouldn’t put it past you to have done so.
I have to admit that your roleplaying, if done well, would be hot, hot, hot.
With each generation of books, female heroines have become empowered more and more within the genre. As a reflection of who the modern woman is, or to reflect what the modern woman wants to read, I wonder?
Disclaimer: This female prefers a submissive-ish role, and is not to be taken as a global representative of her gender, especially being of non-Western origins while also being quite religiously strict which brings along with the package horrifying guilt complexes.
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Rain And, it’s like bringing the person to a muslim mosque or something. It’s not his territory and she has no associations or comfortable connections she can make with it.
The thought process seems to be ‘let us do this as it might be fun and a cool experiment’. It seems to me like he was distracted by the curiosity about Scientology and prioritised that over a successful date.
A miscalculation, or was she just not important enough to warrant a calculation?
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“I double dare you to seduce a Scientologist. We want a full report!!”
As someone who took an extended peek inside a $cientology “mission” many moons ago, I doubt it can be done (if the girl is heavily into it and not just taking a course). Attractive girls in that cult are even rarer than ones in the general population, and they are instantly snatched up by high-status males (it’s a very hierarchical organization). $cientology is freaky-weird stuff which repels sane people. They often *do* have a looker at the door (one of each gender) to hook lonely people in, though.
Predicting the distant future is a dicey business, but I doubt this particular cult will ever go mainstream, simply because it isn’t a religion. The “religion” label is just a cloak to get the financial (tax) and other benefits of the religion shield. It’s mostly just massively expensive pseudoscientific psychology, with the “spiritual” stuff introduced after you’ve spent enough money and time. Said spiritual stuff used to be kept secret, but the internet has made it public. It’s hilariously summarized in the exposition in this classic South Park episode,
http://www.xenutv.com/southpark-closet.wmv
but neophyte $cientologists aren’t told much about it.
I’ve spent a lot of time reading about $cientology, quite fascinating in a train-wreck way.
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/atack/contents.htm
http://www.clambake.org/archive/books/bfm/bfmconte.htm
http://xenu.net
You should go back to that place (maybe better with a buddy than a date) and see the intro video they show in that micro theater. I’ve seen it, and it is extremely funny (though not intended to be of course). It’s a good screening tool, too. Anyone who sees it and doesn’t head for the door is dimwitted enough to be a potential member.
BTW, can anyone find ANY mention of “Battlefield Earth” (the $cientology-funded major motion picture which is considered one of the worst films ever made, based on a tedious book of the same name by founder Ron Hubbard) on any $cientology website? It was talked about a lot before the film’s release, but it seems to have vanished down the memory hole. Even the book isn’t mentioned.
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I took the E Meter test and what a sham! At best it is a Galvanometer where the guy changes the scale of it to induce it to waver around. At least the guy who was giving the test to me always had his hand at the meter’s back whenever any movement was present.
Overall talking to the scientologists vacillated between being hilarious and disturbing. For example, they told my friend who was a diabetic and with me that simply through “cleaning” his mind he would be cured!
Turning to more organized religion on my way home from work there’s a cute Armenian church, and I stepped in several times to ruminate about well … whatever. The experience typically left me calmer and more focused so this Christmas I toyed with the idea of attending an actual service in English. A devout empiricist I never wavered in my skepticism but I thought the meditative experience of the Armenian church might be improved – BIG mistake.
The moment I started to hear the verses I was struck by their absurdity and fought hard against letting the dissapointment show on my face. As the praising and praying reached a fever pitch, and scores of presumably reasonable people reached out to their creator, someone they desperately needed and would never scrupulously examine I was left with only one thought – ignorance is bliss.
Back to the safe incomprehensible Armenian church, and even that is going to have to wait for quite some time.
Now quickly abed there’s yuppie-ing to be done early tomorrow, I think I need better furniture…
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16 Asterius
Every knows a dirty mind causes diabetes.
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read l. ron’s entry on wikipedia, it’s quite funny. for th elongest time i thought it wa s”elron hubbard” like “elroy” off the jetsons.
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Speaking of Tom Cruise…Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are such a beautiful truly in love great example for all of us I think couple. I have pictures of them all over my desk top (also speaking of celeb worship) to inspire me in my quest for love. (Cynics need not respond, it won’t help!)
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ps: my website not for under 18
what is the diff between a cult and “mainline” religions?
role play leads to S and M, dominance and submission and all those other great things. go for it!
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The last paragraph pretty much nails it, except people were generally more ignorant and superstitious at the time so the major religions would have had an easier time indoctrinating them.
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