It’s no news that guys inflate their notch numbers and girls undercount theirs. What is amusing is how girls find ways to lower their total score by devising elaborate schemes that make distinctions between sex and “fooling around”.
Hummers are a great example of this. While not technically sex, it’s close enough that she can’t just say nothing happened. An orifice was filled, so her whore score should reflect that. There’s no writing off a blowjob in a club bathroom.
Similary, fingerbanging has to count. It meets the filled orifice test, and someone is getting off.
Vacation sex is a big undercounting tactic, and fairly common, even among prim girls. I’m pretty sure when girls talk about how much they love traveling they are really speaking in code for “how much they love traveling to get it on with an exotic local, preferably from a Meditteranean or Romance language nation, and then fly back home where the fling with the sexy accent can’t stalk her or cause trouble with her fiancee, and she can safely hide the memories.”
So the next time a girl tells you she loves to travel know that you are dealing with a slut who has moved operations overseas.
I think women are more apt to count partners than acts of sex.
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On the other hand, I did approximate acts of sex over the course of a a few years (27) to highlight what a slut my ex was compared to me. We had about the same number of people we were dating over the same period but I was much more chaste and selective about who I actually had sex with and when. I did this mainly because he liked to present a chaste image of himself as compared to other men.
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While I agree with your overall subject of women counting less and men counting more, I doubt it’s simply vacation sex or reaching 3rd base that they don’t count. Most women I talk to do consider 3rd base counting, but they remove other unfortunate such as:
1. One Night Stand of all Types (Vacation included)
2. ‘Good’ Guy Friend
3. Co-worker.
Whereas most guys will count:
1. Girl he made out with in bar
2. Girl he met in bar
3. Girl he saw in bar
4. Girl he imagined he saw in bar
Personally I’m much more afraid of the girl that says she’s not been with many, but has that undeniable sexiness factor to her. If she’s purposefully coy about it, then there are definitely a lot.
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Generally, guys suck at finger banging. In an ideal world, only satisfactory experiences would count.
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So the next time a girl tells you she loves to travel know that you are dealing with a slut who has moved operations overseas.
So true
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#3: Add to that list the men she’s slept with when she was “really drunk.”
I’ve never understood the tendency to discount sexual encounters that weren’t part of a serious relationship. To the extent that I care at all, I’d rather know about a high number of one-night stands, since those are more likely to indicate poor impulse control, not to mention the increased risk of an STD. But I suppose it’s to avoid judgments like this that women under-report their numbers.
On a slight tangent, whenever a woman says she’s “never done this before,” she’s done it before. Whenever a man says he’s “never done this before,” he’s shot himself in the foot by portraying himself as an inexperienced dweeb.
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No one is posting their counts! Come on people, this is the Internets.
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Some men will up their count by six for each romantic encounter with Mrs. Palm and her five daughters.
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Reggie, there is no mystery. Women cannot afford to convey an image of promiscuity to high value potential mates (fathers) because it signals to those men little guarantee that the offspring of the union will in fact be his. In other words, there is a high probability that she may use his resources to raise children from other men thus she represents a poor investment. However, our wondrous legal system in the US doesn’t really give a shit what evolution has to say so if you’re stupid enough to marry an American girl, consider it a sunk cost.
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DF: Interesting analysis. It follows, then, that men exaggerate their number of partners so as to present themselves as attractive to a greater number of women, which raises their perceived value as suppliers of genetic material to women and puts them higher in the pecking order among men.
This sort of thing is why I support mandatory paternity testing for all births. It prevents would-be fathers from getting screwed over, and it gives both women and promiscuous men incentive to be more responsible. You’re less likely to fuck around on your husband with the handsome milkman when it means probably being abandoned when your husband finds out the child you just bore isn’t his; likewise, the handsome milkman is less likely to sleep with sluts without protection when it means he could be stuck with child support payments.
As far as numbers go, Hope, mine is higher than the full roster of a professional basketball team but smaller than that of a professional football team. Not outstanding, but I’m working on it.
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So the next time a girl tells you she loves to travel know that you are dealing with a slut who has moved operations overseas.
Foreigners are doing jobs that Americans just can’t do…
No one is posting their counts! Come on people, this is the Internets.
One, and I shouldn’t count her because she was a pothead 30 year old woman from Canada. She was really nice and friendly though, and she didn’t have a problem getting her nails done to please me which is something that I feel guilty about now. I also learned that I have no stamina, and that my penis is a useless tool that only orgasms with oral sex.
Women cannot afford to convey an image of promiscuity to high value potential mates (fathers) because it signals to those men little guarantee that the offspring of the union will in fact be his
It signals to me that she enjoys sex and that I won’t be stuck in a boring sexless marriage. The rumours of non-slutty women enjoying sex are bull shit as far as I’m concerned.
the handsome milkman is less likely to sleep with sluts without protection
Well, if people used protection, we’d have lower STD infection rates and less unwanted children which may be an unexpected bonus from your plan.
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Reggie your philosophy sounds exactly the same as my husband’s. Any woman who thinks your rule of paternity testing is unreasonable is probably would think anything a man wants is unreasonable. Compromise is not a bad thing.
Likewise to your numbers, which sound similar to my husband’s, and I don’t think they need to be any higher. I was pretty scandalized to think about any guy with a number above 20. I think you should find a good woman with integrity who treats you well, and forget the way of the ‘super alpha’ which only ends in a lot of girls who don’t truly care about you, but more about how you make them feel.
As for myself, it’s 5, 6 counting 3rd base. All of them were in love with me at one point, and none were one-nighters. I had this thing when I was younger about how I would only give myself to men who proved to me the strength of his love (by staying with me even if I didn’t give it up for many months).
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Oh look I get to be number 13, … that’s the number of people I’ve….
I think you’re wrong. Making out with some random dude in a bar or getting fingered when I was in my teens does not count as a “notch”. I’ve never known a women to deny how many people they’ve slept with – it’s either a) not discussed or b) laughed about at our mythical panty clad pillow fighting slumber parties.
Also since when did wanting to travel and see the world make me a whore? Educated and well spoken and much more interesting than some land locked bimbo who thinks traveling is going to Tysons II…yes. But a slut? No.
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I don’t consider “numbers” relevant. I don’t even know mine, simply because I wouldn’t ever tell anyone what it was. So why should I disclose it?
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I always thought a notch was “sex” aka intercourse?
Am I wrong? So all this time, these guys going around inflating their #s as notches are actually COUNTING fingering girls in 10th grade when they were VIRGINS as notches?
I find that scary and sad.
Wow, I am old.
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I was kidding with my earlier comment, obviously. I got to say I am with Mandy and Kassy here…getting fingered by some stumbling 16 year old does not count.
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I think women should only count the guys who could get them off. Fumbling and incompetence don’t belong on the roster.
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you mean…Vilula in the center pocket?
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Shannon, I like that distinction.
“Did you cheat on me with that woman!?”
“Of course not, honey! I mean yeah, I had sex with her, but she was awful in bed. That doesn’t count.”
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I was saying from a woman’s perspective, Reggie. The guys are going to have to come up with their own rule.
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Reggie…Ahaha, you are so right.
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Ah, didn’t mean to hit send….continuing…
If there was sexual intercourse, regardless of whether it was good or bad…its a notch.
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There are problems with both definitions for ‘notch.’
Traditional women tests are too narrow (particularly if they exclude vacation sex), but the filled orifice test is too broad.
The latter would imply that:
1. Having a regular gyno visit where a swab, a doctors finger or anything else that goes up there is notch.
2. Masturbation with a dildo or vegetable is a notch.
No definition is perfect and there will always be limitations.
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“I think women should only count the guys who could get them off.” — From the stories one hears, that leaves too many with zero even though they’ve tried and tried, poor girls. 😛
“So the next time a girl tells you she loves to travel know that you are dealing with a slut who has moved operations overseas.” LOL! She’s going to see the ‘sights’ particularly that famous ‘tower’ and those ‘artistic masterpieces’?
What roosh’s up to seems to fit this preliminary female proposition. I’m sure both genders like to ‘expand their cultural boundaries’.
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No, a “notch” for a male or a female is emphatically NOT fingerbanging, oral sex, or any of those good things. A notch is a notch — vaginal sex. OK, maybe M-F anal sex counts, too. Anything where there is actual penetration of the penis into a bodily opening below the waist! But finger jobs and blow jobs? Ha! If Roissy is counting that stuff, he seriously needs to reevaluate his notch count.
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How about handjobs?
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“I don’t consider ‘numbers’ relevant. I don’t even know mine”
Yikes.
But if a guy (Mr. Right) did ask, would you make up a number?
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All right then, the rule for guys is that all remotely sexual contact counts as a notch when not in a monogamous relationship, and none of it counts when in a monogamous relationship with partners who are not the significant other.
That seems pretty convenient. I can claim all sorts of experience to seem like a stud if I’m not with anyone, and when I am, I can maintain a harem of mistresses without so much as a twinge of guilt. Great!
Joe T., I agree that a notch only counts when it’s penetrative genital intercourse, but I think there needs to be some kind of special category for blowjobs. If I found out that the girl I’m seeing has only had intercourse with five other men but has given oral to, say, thirty-seven guys*, I can’t say I’d be thrilled.
Oh, and in case any bisexual girls are wondering: Men don’t give a shit how many women you’ve slept with. That’s all gravy as far as we’re concerned.
*Not in a row.
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i can’t imagine anyone would know the exact figure, unless that figure were a one-digit number. in other words, if someone looks you in the face and quotes a precise quantity such as ‘twenty-six’, you’ve just collected another example of the old aphorism stating that 77% of all statistics are made up at random.
the only exception i can conjure is a woman i knew who actually kept a list. that was a bit scary.
if the statistic comes from the mouth of a man, divide it by 2; if from a woman, multiply by 2; if from an american woman under 30, multiply by 3.
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KassyK said:
This is the way I think of it also. Oral sex and fingerbanging are NOT notches. I think anal sex is where the confusion appears. Also, a woman having sex with a woman could count as a notch even if it only went to oral sex.
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Hmmm…if you’ve gotten a BJ but no pen-vag, are you still a virgin?
Are the rules different for gay men and lesbians?
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11 David
“The rumours of non-slutty women enjoying sex are bull shit as far as I’m concerned.”
Pssssst over here….I am not a slut and enjoy sex to the max. Yeah, I’m not joking. My ex used to say the only reason a man would ever leave me was to rest. I just really, really limit my sex partners because I get very bonded and de-bonding is a huge fucking drag. Rather not go through that, thank you. As much as I love sex, it’s not worth it. Can’t fight my nature, so I don’t try. My ex made the mistake of thinking I’d be in bed with another man very quickly after we broke up because I’m so enthusiastic, inventive, passionate, and orgasmic. Did I sufficiently burst your bubble, or do you think I may be the exception to the rule?
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David:
I also learned that I have no stamina, and that my penis is a useless tool that only orgasms with oral sex.
I’m confused. Isn’t sexual stamina defined as the ability to have sexual intercourse for a long period of time without an orgasm? If you never have an orgasm through sexual intercourse, doesn’t that mean that you have lots of stamina?
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anonymous,
You are not alone. It has NEVER ceased to amaze me at the capacity of women who you would never think it of, to have amazing sex in the most unlikely places. The package is for advertising. Some don’t need to advertise.
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Hope,
In answer to your “internets” question, I was in triple digits before I got married. 17 years behind the bar will do that.
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a BJ should count as half a notch. after all, you are violating a girl’s mouth with your penis. if she swallows or you pull out and spray her face and hair peter north-style, then count it as 3/4 of a notch.
it’s true that a full notch for women encompasses more scenarios than a qualifying notch for men. it’s a double standard. no one said life was fair.
veggies and toys don’t count, btw. the foreign objects inserted into her orifices must be a male body part.
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does it count if you’re “making love”? i don’t think such ‘godly acts’ should count as notches.
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It seems to me that if a guy is obsessed with the notches of a girl, they are either:
a) a pervert;
b) insecure about themselves and/or their own sexual prowess;
c) considering sex a recreational sport, and trying to figure out if it’s safe to play without protective gear; or
d) don’t or can’t enjoy sex, and want to show they are above it by putting down the other people that do.
There’s nothing worse than a guy who wants to talk about your sexual history. Not only is it pathetic, intrusive, and the ultimate buzzkill, but it’s completely irrelevant.
If you’re just casually fucking a girl, then that’s on you to take the responsibility for that risk. If you want a relationship, and you can’t trust her to take care of her sexual health and abstain from sleeping around with other men, the issues you need to deal with are in the present, not in her past.
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oh and ps – i LOVE to travel.
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Did I sufficiently burst your bubble, or do you think I may be the
exception to the rule?
There’s a high chance that you’re lying about your sexual behaviour. If you
really enjoyed sex, the enjoyment would overcome any bonding issues that you
have.
I’m confused. Isn’t sexual stamina defined as the ability to have sexual
intercourse for a long period of time without an orgasm? If you never have an
orgasm through sexual intercourse, doesn’t that mean that you have lots of
stamina?
No, what happens is that I become tired and I’m unable to continue with sexual
intercourse after five to ten minutes. The inability to orgasm is simply a
bonus.
The package is for advertising. Some don’t need to advertise.
If you don’t advertise, I won’t know if you exist or not. Some of us need the
“slutty” look to get aroused. Otherwise, you blend in with our female family
members regardless of your beauty, and you fall into the unsexual zone.
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David,
It is true that advertising helps and ,in your case, is necessary. After many years I have learned the subtle signs of girls with an inner slut. Maybe it’s a talent. I don’t know. Until I read this blog I never gave it much thought.
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“But if a guy (Mr. Right) did ask, would you make up a number?”
My version of Mr. Right wouldn’t ask in the first place. And I certainly wouldn’t lie, I would use it as a opener for a bigger discussion about values and romantic history. Asking for a “number” is a morality pop quiz that tells you nothing. If you’re both disease-free, your number is nobody’s business but yours.
And I don’t know my number because I don’t think it’s relevant. So it’s definitely not a “yikes”-worthy situation, but thanks for the pointless sanctimony.
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There’s nothing worse than a guy who wants to talk about your sexual history. Not only is it pathetic, intrusive, and the ultimate buzzkill, but it’s completely irrelevant.
if asking a girl about her sexual history was truly irrelevant then she would not experience negative emotions when asked.
obviously, girls subconsciously know that their sexual history DOES matter in the big picture, as guys are less likely to consider them for long term commitment if they are pegged as round-the-way town whores.
if a guy wants to know, he should never ask directly. that’s just stupid. instead, he should trap her into revealing bits of her sexual past. this isn’t so hard to do.
“oh, you must have been a crazy girl when you were younger!”
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“if asking a girl about her sexual history was truly irrelevant then she would not experience negative emotions when asked.”
Whether or not you consider numbers relevant, being asked an intrusive question by an insecure man is going to cause negative emotions. It’s all in the hows and whys, and not necessarily in the question itself.
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being asked an intrusive question by an insecure man is going to cause negative emotions.
“what’s your favorite color?”
as you can see, some intrusive questions cause more emotional distress than others.
for good reason.
the consequences of revealing your sexual history are a lot more relevant than revealing your favorite color.
or: men have good reason for suspecting the future fidelity of a woman who has slept around.
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Favorite color is not intrusive (mine’s red), so false analogy.
“What’s your religion?”
A question where context is all. If it’s just general getting-to-know-you, it’s intrusive but passable. In a job interview, or by someone actively trying to convert you, it’s a big deal.
A question crosses the line when it becomes laden with moral judgment.
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As for “future fidelity”, there are better ways to determine that than asking for a notch number. How about if they’ve ever cheated on a partner, lied, deliberately conned someone into bed or done something else hurtful? (Information I freely give, the answer is no.)
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40 David;
“There’s a high chance that you’re lying about your sexual behaviour. If you really enjoyed sex, the enjoyment would overcome any bonding issues that you have.”
My enjoyment goes perhaps a little deeper than yours, and if it’s not shared at the same level, I’m not interested. That’s not the best sex in my experience. It’s simply not as enjoyable…to me.
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My enjoyment goes perhaps a little deeper than yours, and if it’s not shared at the same level, I’m not interested. That’s not the best sex in my experience. It’s simply not as enjoyable…to me.
I don’t see how one can say that they enjoy sex and continually have sex with the same person. Eventually, one does become bored, and they eventually have to find a new partner to reinvigorate their sex life and recharge their sexual energy. One needs multiple partners to really enjoy sex.
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49, David.
Have truthfully not been one who needs multiple sex partners. Am very capable of being highly passionate with one man for a very long time. It’s the depth of emotional involvement, love, and just plain chemistry. It is possible to ‘go into’ one person deeply and then multiple sex partners just seems like repeating a shallow experience.
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Roissy-
Just because a woman has negative emotions about a question that is asked of her, doesn’t make it relevant knowledge to the inquirer. This is a basic non sequitur that I’m surprised you’d fall into – I’ve taken you to be more logical than that.
At what point does a man say, “Wow, this chick is great.. now I just need to find out how many guys she’s bagged, and I’ll know whether or not I want to pursue her for real.” Likewise, in all your equations of notches=whores, I haven’t seen any solid definitions in terms of numbers or ranges. Is that because it depends on the girl? If not, what’s your threshold?
And, as previously mentioned, and supported by Shannon, the number of men a single women has slept with does not indicate her fidelity in a relationship. I’m pretty sure this applies to men, too. You do recognize the difference between sex as a single person and sex in a relationship, don’t you?
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Hey, I’m a quarter-virgin! Cool!
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Sounds like you’re headed for dirty old mansville, roissy.
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Roissy: “veggies and toys don’t count, btw. the foreign objects inserted into her orifices must be a male body part”
so lesbians are virgins then? :p
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51. “. You do recognize the difference between sex as a single person and sex in a relationship, don’t you?”
I dont think anybody is reading this anymore, but I let it go anyway.
It is a big problem, when a woman has bedded triple digits, or high two digits guys in ONS’s, but then pulls the “relationship card” on the guy who has committed to her.
This is punishing the guy for committing and expressing his love and devotion to the said woman.
If so many men have been with her with no effort – a one night chat is no effort compared to the man who shares his life with the woman – the the man who puts his life to the sharing plate with her has the right to expect more than those men, and no ” I love you honey” does not hold the place of a random blowjob given more often than once a year.
This is the problem with women.
“the difference between single sex, and relationship sex”….
Yes, the latter is better..
But the cost is infinitely higher… So is the headache.
A woman how was promiscuous before me, but pulls on me the “relationship sex” card will be discarded.
I aint loving a reborn virgin, as I am not paying the price for her skewed view on sexuality (single vs relationship) resulting from her using (being used) men as sex toys.
As a comparison:
A woman who is virgin upon the relationship, or has had only relationship sex has more congruency in pulling that “relationship sex” thing out of the closet, as the man is paying no higher price than any man before himself.
The problem here is that:
“Not aaaaall women are like thaaaaaat”
When dealing with the average Joe, women are hardwired to resort to relationship sex….
fuck… Science even tells us so…
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Should fisting a girl on the dance floor count? It is a male body part, but she could do that to herself.
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[…] written before that for women, travel is just an excuse to bang a swarthy local. Now the proof arrives: Study: For Israeli women, going on vacation means more […]
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“At what point does a man say, ‘Wow, this chick is great.. now I just need to find out how many guys she’s bagged, and I’ll know whether or not I want to pursue her for real.'”
It varies from guy to guy.
“And, as previously mentioned, and supported by Shannon, the number of men a single women has slept with does not indicate her fidelity in a relationship.”
Yes it does.
“I’m pretty sure this applies to men, too. You do recognize the difference between sex as a single person and sex in a relationship, don’t you?”
There’s no difference.
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[…] Has a lot of travel stories you suspect have key details left out. […]
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thank you.
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Similary, fingerbanging has to count. It meets the filled orifice test, and someone is getting off.
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