i loved that he was so powerful i was nothing.
– O
What is it that separates those select few men from all the rest? The ones who seemingly have no trouble getting pussy when they want and how they want it? The ones who wield illimitable power to inflame the desires of women?
The key to their power is not money or sports cars or beach houses or post graduate degrees or 50 inch plasma TVs or chocolate covered strawberries on a bed of rose petals or any of that shit. All of that is incidental and is only important to the extent that it improves your state of mind. No, the real source of this power is already within you. It is how you SEE YOURSELF. It is your decision to move through the world without apology, to set aside complaining for decisive action, to let your brass balls do your talking for you.
The quintessential masculine quality women can’t resist is SUPREME UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE. You can be poor, out of shape, stupid, unemployed, addicted to drugs, and meet every one of society’s standards for LOSERNESS but if you radiate those confident vibes that say you are PERFECTLY FUCKING PLEASED WITH YOURSELF you will get laid ALL THE TIME. And the kinds of girls who get wet for such men aren’t just bar sluts. Smart women, women with high self-esteems and MBAs and, yes, even — ESPECIALLY — HARDCORE FEMINISTS will crave the cock of the man who exudes such power and happily take it IN THE FACE and UP THE ASS if it means he will grace her with the pleasure of his company for a little while longer.
THIS is the kind of power that matters. FUCK the normal rules. You make the rules now. They tell you to give give GIVE till it hurts, to do your duty and throw yourself in the blood-soaked grinding gears of the KorporateAkademiaKredentialist Krell Machine in service to society’s great gaping maw and then maybe… MAYBE… one day you’ll be lucky enough to get chained for life to some mediocre pussy and infrequent, tepid sex, whereupon you will work yourself tirelessly to the bone shuffling your ungrateful brats through one societal sacramental rite of passage after another feeding the endless, insatiable hunger of the machinery of the state. And they will pat you on the head for your devotion to the cause with lateral promotions and certificates of exemplary service and announcements in the wedding pages of the local paper and a brand new set of steak knives.
FUCK
THAT
NOIZE.
There’s a dirty little secret they don’t want you to know. And everyone is in cahoots, from the alphas to the betas to the keepers of the vagina. It is this: You don’t need to play by their rules to get what you want! Women will still FLOCK to you if you shit all over everything you were taught you needed to do to earn their love as long as you do it with STYLE and UNWAVERING BOLDNESS and a TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT attitude. Because the simple truth is that the right attitude counts for more than all the material possessions in the world.
The POWER is in your head.
I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Aaron Wakling
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Amen.
I personally think that learning game should be the primary focus of a teenage man’s life.
Once you have game…everything falls into fucking place.
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There’s a fine line here. Internal confidence is important, but being desperate to show everyone you don’t give a shit will show everyone you DO give a shit. Confidence should flow naturally. If you don’t have this yet, fake it until you get it. You’ll have more success faking it than you will advertising your lack of self confidence.
And also, don’t get too caught up in the “you can be a homeless bozo with confidence” business either(but I understand the spirit of your comment). You need to be working at improving yourself in ALL facets of your life. Women are just one aspect of your overall life. You start having success in various areas AND you have a little “game”, then you’ll start to have a MUCH easier time meeting higher quality women (as you said). Confidence and success are like drugs, and as you said, ALL women are attracted to that.
However, also as you and rooshv have mentioned, your standards for women also go WAY up. The problem with beginning to excel is that you start leaving a lot of people behind (like average women for example)…
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You need to be working at improving yourself in ALL facets of your life. Women are just one aspect of your overall life.
the biggest part of this improvement is learning to notice patterns and correlations.
correlations between people’s actions and their behavior –> ability to read people –> success in reading people –> confidence.
correlations between appearances and realities** –> ability to act optimally in most situations –> success in life –> confidence.
correlations between actions and consequences –> wisdom –> confidence.
**yes, i am saying that it is generally beneficial to form stereotypes, as long as they are based on some sort of evidence.
—
‘game’ has many benefits that redound to its practitioners in areas [i]totally[/i] unrelated to getting pussy.
it’s hardly a coincidence that many of the best pua’s are also excellent entrepreneurs and salesmen, despite their near-universal lack of business training.
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square brackets != angled brackets.
fuck.
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I love the energy and of course the message is spot on…. Did you post this after a night out drinking? haha…I tend to capitalize everything after I’m all fired up from having a good night, good lay, etc….
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There was a movie in the ’90s about a twelve-year-old boy who became a sociopath. He threw heavy things at cars from an overpass and did other things, from annoying to evil. In a fit of sibling rivalry, he killed his infant sister with impunity. He said that the great liberation of his ego (paraphrasing) came at some point when he “just stopped being afraid” (his words).
I like the spirit of your post because it offers an important corrective for men who are timid, stuck in a rut, taken advantage of.
But what, in your ethical system, serves as a corrective to a runaway will-to-power? In your specific case, your desires are relatively inconsequential: to get laid a lot. But what about men whose desires run in a more anti-social direction?
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TRUE STORY!
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You didn’t, perchance, work on the Dean campaign, did you?
Nothing wrong with a little frothing at the mouth, so long as it’s done in style. Got it.
I will say, though – that being “perfectly fucking pleased” with yourself isn’t the key.
A truly confident man is aware of his flaws (all humans have them, of course) and doesn’t doubt his capacity to rise above them. What you’re describing sounds a lot more like arrogance than confidence – and the two are an ocean apart. At least.
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The tone of this post is a bit different than the others – a little less bemused, and a lot more hostile. Did you just get into a fight with the aforementioned mediocre pussy?
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Hmmmm…..so it’s the love of power over the power of love? Interesting!!
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I agree 100%. However, after guys started reading about Mystery/watched his TV show/Read blogs like these, they think showing confidence is by putting other people down, while in fact that makes you look even worse. Confident people don’t care what you think about them. Their confidence comes from within, not from insulting a woman (this is not negging btw), or insulting the guy next to them. That type of behavior is saying “look at me, I’m confident, I can harass someone so I’m cool right???” And it’s no different than the guy who says, “Look at me I drive a BMW and make XXX,000$$$ a year, Please sleep with me” If your state of mind/frame is confident and cool, you won’t worry about everything around you, and don’t worry about getting anything done with the girl you’re talking to. Your cool confident demeanor, not to mention you won’t look needy, will win her over.
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3 johnny
“it’s hardly a coincidence that many of the best pua’s are also excellent entrepreneurs and salesmen, despite their near-universal lack of business training.”
One thing that struck me in the seduction videos is how homogenous the men’s personalities. They were virtually all hyperactive “performers”; used car salesman types, actors, highly ambitious, highly image driven–in other words, the American ideal of “success”. That type feels like #2 trying to be #1 ALL the time. They can never stop trying to outdo others in the pursuit of ego inflating conquests. It must be a tremendous amount of pressure they live under. It’s certainly NOT my idea of success, which is probably why I get along well with many Europeans.
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Roissy, “Smart women, women with high self-esteems and MBAs and, yes, even — ESPECIALLY – HARDCORE FEMINISTS will crave the cock of the man who exudes such power and happily take it IN THE FACE and UP THE ASS if it means he will grace her with the pleasure of his company for a little while longer.”
MBA’s? Wow, that IS impressive. BTW you talk a lot about taking it up the ass. In my experience anal sex was only enjoyable with a lesser endowed male.
“…..he will grace her with the pleasure of his company…” LMFAO!!!
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You need to be working at improving yourself in ALL facets of your life.
Absolutely. Some of the most charismatic men I’ve met don’t care a bit for women, yet women just flock to them. A great example is a guy I know who managers a department, is a great dresser, doesn’t have cable TV at home, reads in his spare time, plays the acoustic guitar, knows a great deal about music, culture, history and current events, programs PHP, ASP, CSS and knows *nix commands. He makes websites for his friends’ bands, wears glasses and calls himself a nerd, but he has amazing public speaking skills, goes to conferences and dazzles people’s heads off.
He is unapologetically confident, humble, gentlemanly, compassionate, empathic, praises others without reserve, and he does not pretend to be anything he isn’t, nor does he pretend to know anything he does not. He admits it when he’s wrong (as a boss!), and he calls others out when he sees them doing something wrong. He simply is, and the single women can’t resist what he is.
My husband met this guy in the bathroom just brazenly walking in with a book, came back to me and said, “He is so cool and doesn’t care if anyone knows he’s gonna read a book while he poops. I’m never hiding my reading material again either.”
A truly confident man is aware of his flaws (all humans have them, of course) and doesn’t doubt his capacity to rise above them.
Magnificently written.
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You seem to be saying there are exactly two choices. Become a man of “quiet desperation” fulfilling the needs of the gaping insatiable maw of society OR basically spend your life fucking feminists and women with MBAs in the ass. Are there any other choices perchance? 🙂
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this is like something written during the hour long high after you’ve taken a sleeping pill but before you’ve fallen asleep. if so, rock on, it rocks. i pretty much decided my future career by scribbling illegibly on a flash card during a sleeping pill high. you become an idea factory.
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Candy Cane,
Good God woman four different comments in less than an hour? Obsessed a little? Every fucking day it’s basically the same comment from you, Roissy sucks, Roissy is an idiot, a smart woman would never fall for this shit blah blah blah. There’s a thin line between debating and nagging. Leave a comment and keep it moving. Nobody really wants to debate you because you come of as a fucking psycho.
I’m sure everything you say is the absolute truth and you’re dating the fucking coolest, biggest dick swinging motherfucker on the planet that’s why you spend all your time trolling here. Sure kid, sure
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Obsessed a little? Every fucking day it’s basically the same comment from you
Making the same comment all the time is fun. So I’ll do my share:
Shaved women are evil. Nothing tops the Glorious Natural Pelt.
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who became a sociopath… But what, in your ethical system, serves as a corrective to a runaway will-to-power?
Such people do not have the confidence that is being discussed, but rather a psychological abnormality. They can be charmers when they want to be, but when you get on their bad side they lash out in great fury due to their lack of impulse control and short tempers. They lack empathy, are manipulative and deceptive, and people can be one minute charmed by them and the next minute repulsed by them.
Sociopaths confuse other people with their lies and make people uneasy because of unpredictable, inconsistent behavior. They joke about torturing pets, see most people, even family members, as mere toys, and are usually indifferent to human suffering. It’s obviously a genetically self-destructive thing to kill your own family members, but sociopaths have a mental problem and simply do not care. The corrective should be people around the sociopath, who should not get close in contact with them and realize that such individuals are not to be trusted.
Confident people still care about other people as human beings, even if they do not really care if they are being judged — in fact, often because of this, they won’t be judged. They love people, and their energetic, spirited demeanor is infectious. It’s a feedback loop in which because the person likes others, others like the person. People like this make their own rules, but that doesn’t mean they take advantage of others. What they do is genuine — they derive real joy from making others happy, rather than advancing their own selfish agenda.
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In my experience, people who rebel and play the angles rather than live by the rules are more likely to end up as pathetic malcontents than self-confident winners.
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“You need to be working at improving yourself in ALL facets of your life.”
This is true. One shouldn’t dedicate ones entire life to getting women. A good book on this: Way of the Superior Man. He basically says that men should pursue their ‘purpose’ before women, and in doing so will get both. Those men who dedicate themselves exclusively to scoring women, at the expense of career and other goals, are really denying a central part of their genetic nature – to make yourself in the world of men.
‘Aim at heaven and you will get the earth ‘thrown in’. Aim at earth and you get neither’ – CS Lewis.
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If Irina’s blog is like Veronica Sawyer’s diary, then this is definitely a Jason Dean post.
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“What is it that separates those select few men from all the rest? The ones who seemingly have no trouble getting pussy when they want and how they want it?”
Answer: They don’t write blogs or endless articles about the select few men who have no trouble getting pussy.
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#12 candy cane
in other words, the American ideal of “success”. That type feels like #2 trying to be #1 ALL the time. They can never stop trying to outdo others in the pursuit of ego inflating conquests. It must be a tremendous amount of pressure they live under. It’s certainly NOT my idea of success, which is probably why I get along well with many Europeans.
i’m so sorry you’re incapable of spending even a minute around someone who might, in some way, outshine you. what’s so wrong with ambition and drive?
for that matter, i’m sorry you envision yourself as competing with such people, a sorry fact that is the only possible reason you can’t ‘get along well’ with them.
i get along with many europeans, too** – generally, the intelligent, driven, focused europeans, a disproportionate # of whom pack up and move here to america, land of the free, driven, and ambitious.
it’s increasingly clear that you wish to be the dominant half of whatever relationship you’re in. be careful what you wish for; the female psyche isn’t tuned to stay in love with a cowering blancmange.
**notice the weasel-word-ness of ‘many’, a word inserted to prevent you from making definitive statements.
—
#6 pa: But what about men whose desires run in a more anti-social direction?
just check the reviews, so to speak.
good ‘game’ that disregards many beta-boy societal standards will win friends and influence people. sociopathology, on the other hand, will creep out all normal people who aren’t taken in by it (= most normal people).
—
#21 cuchulainn: A good book on this: Way of the Superior Man. He basically says that men should pursue their ‘purpose’ before women, and in doing so will get both.
bartenderly advice #13,403,276:
chasing girls too much can prevent you from having a quality life. chasing life too much will never prevent you from having quality women.
without ever having seen the book you’ve cited, i can confidently assert that at least 1/3 of it is summarized in the two lines above.
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Peter, are you anywhere near NW DC? Plesae come to 12th St. so I can bash your face in with a shovel.
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Peter, are you anywhere near NW DC? Plesae come to 12th St. so I can bash your face in with a shovel.
Kee-rist, somebody’s got his panties in a twist!
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17: Virgl
“I’m sure everything you say is the absolute truth and you’re dating the fucking coolest, biggest dick swinging motherfucker on the planet that’s why you spend all your time trolling here. Sure kid, sure.”
Am not dating at the moment. And why are you here? Sometimes I post multiple small comments instead of a very long one. Thanks for noticing AND counting them. I feel special. 🙂
I know you guys prefer Rina and Hope because they have such civilized ways of disagreeing with you turkeys. I, on the other hand, prefer sarcasm.
24: Johnny
“i’m so sorry you’re incapable of spending even a minute around someone who might, in some way, outshine you. what’s so wrong with ambition and drive?”
Wow, that’s a mighty big assumption. There is nothing wrong at all with ambition and drive. As a matter of fact I own two businesses myself. I’m talking about narcissism as an American ideal of success. Something you obviously know nothing about.
“for that matter, i’m sorry you envision yourself as competing with such people, a sorry fact that is the only possible reason you can’t ‘get along well’ with them.”
I never want to compete with anyone actually. There is more than enough of everything, so why compete? It’s true, though as far as me not getting along with people who are too image driven.
“the female psyche isn’t tuned to stay in love with a cowering blancmange.”
blancmange |bləˈmänj; -ˈmä n zh |
noun
a sweet opaque gelatinous dessert made with cornstarch and milk.
Good one! You’re funny. I don’t even know how to respond to that.
Peter:
“Making the same comment all the time is fun.”
Consistency is the key to a happy life.
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candy cane- they prefer us because we don’t really try to prove them wrong. why bother? men and women see the world differently and have different desires. we can disagree until pigs fly (next year?) but you’ll never change the way a man’s mind sees the world. you just have to accept it and not try to change yours.
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I normally disagree with everything on this blog but this is 100 percent true.
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agnostic–You just won for best comment of the year. Anyone referencing Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer wins. Especially among all this chaos.
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27: Candy Cane / 28: rinaface
I think the main reason why rina and others piss these guys off is because they are the alleged feminists who are supposed to get all weak in the knees at the sight of these cavemen coming toward them. Since they accept them for what they are and reject them it proves them wrong and makes them feel stupid for all the attention getting antics they’re pulling.
No worries because the truth of the matter is: Yes we ALL can get along.
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Preach, Roissy!
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‘chasing life too much will never prevent you from having quality women.’
chasing life too much? my point was that excelling at your career and in non-female related areas, like building your social status or whatever, is very important to men. our brains are calibrated to get pleasure from those activities. the three main factors – health, wealth and relationships, if one is going badly then you won’t feel complete. that’s why, when reading ‘the game’ book, i understood why they all became so misanthropic and, in one case, suicidal. despite having all the women they could have, they were not pursing a higher purpose beyond women. their self-worth was exclusively tied to how many women they could get. only when (for example) Mystery started building his business properly did his manic depression end. the male brain is not designed to exclusively get sex, if it was we’d be like those bugs that just birth, go on a ravenous sex spree and then die three hours later.
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Tyler Durden beat you to it Roissy 🙂
http://realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com/search/label/Dating%20Articles
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Money matters. Not because I prefer a man with money or am more attracted to a man with money, but money validates men and raises their status. A man knows this and this adds to his swagger. As they say, a short man is ten feet tall when he is standing on his money…
But I really had to comment because you are the featured site on the wordpress sign in page. Nothing pleases me more than knowing how those freaky jesus bloggers must have felt when they saw the word “pussy” staring them in the face.
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you’re absolutely right. women are so fucking shallow
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You are right, PB. It really is only women who are shallow. This is a blog about accepting people for who they are and finding true, deep, and meaningful love. There is so much beauty and acceptance in this sacred space, and then us women have to shit all over it. I am sorry if I–or any of us– offended your delicate sensibilities.
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Do I sense sarcasm here?
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I agree with this. But I think we define confidence differently, like Candy Cane said. I wouldn’t let any of those guys in the video stand next to me for long. Way too hyper and annoying and obviously playing a part. That’s not confident. Confident is the guy/s Irina described once, the ones who don’t have to try and would never treat a woman poorly, because he’s secure enough that what’s the point?
And Rinaface, I don’t think the guys on this blog are any more representative of “the male mind” than, say, the women who wrote “The Rules,” were of the female mind. Both just play to prejudices and insecurities, but try to make it sound like biological fact.
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This post is hotting, and both of this post and this blog are high ranked in the top report of wp. But today we have generated
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My father told me when I was young that if I wanted to have success with women I would have to exude confidence and BE self-confident. Roissy is right. It works.
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Could be. Problem is, confidence can only be false in my case, since I can’t learn to read people as johnny five suggests. And false confidence is quickly shot down.
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That tyler durdin video is a class scam, btw. The elements are:
1) A story about a sympathetic hero. Readers relate.
2) The bad things that happen to our hero are HIS fault. Readers recoil, and want to separate themselves.
3) There is a way to avoid the bad things! Readers (are told to) rejoice!
4) This avoidance technique, which everyone should know about, is simple and accessible, but still not widely accepted. Readers feel smart, let in on a secret, and like they are in charge. (This angle of we’re-very-exclusive-and-not-everyone-realizes makes the choice to opt in the customer’s, which is a more effective sales technique then simply explaining the product. If the customer has to make the decision, he’s much more invested and likely to look for reasons to justify his decision later).
It’s all classic, classic, classic. He could be selling Amway.
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My big cock is big.
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This post NEEDS MORE CAPITALS.
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Goddamn it, Reggie BEAT me to IT.
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“It is your decision to move through the world without apology, to set aside complaining for decisive action, to let your brass balls do your talking for you.”
Indeed, but this unfortunately works only if you have a very good instinct for when to shut up and when to resist the temptation for decisive action. Otherwise, you’re going to end up in lots of trouble — at best, shunned in polite society and with ruined career prospects, and at worst imprisoned, perhaps even dead.
Successful men indeed move through the world without apology, but they also have a keen sense for when to put on the sheep skin and avoid dangerously provoking the powers-that-be — and this is what really separates them from the rest. Those who try doing so without this crucial instinct will soon suffer consequences that will scare them back into being timid and obedient cogs in the machine. And that’s if they’re lucky enough not to find their life completely ruined already the first time when their newly found self-(over)confidence and sense of freedom from the restraint of conventional morality backfires badly.
It’s easy to be self-confident and aggressive; in fact, such behavior flows naturally as soon as you discover how bleak and lifeless the regular path that the system has in plan for you actually is, and how much enjoyment and excitement can potentially be gained outside of it. What is really hard is to do it in a way that won’t provoke a reaction from the system that will squash you like a bug.
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Yeah, I agree with that post. But instead of confidence, I usually use the word courage. Specially necesary if you like to date teen girls, even if they are over legal age (courage to handle the deaththreads from her father and brothers).
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I might be a day late and a dollar short, but you just OWNED that shit, great post
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40 dizzy8
“I don’t think the guys on this blog are any more representative of “the male mind” than, say, the women who wrote “The Rules,” were of the female mind. ”
This is Cosmo on testosterone.
29 rina
“you’ll never change the way a man’s mind sees the world. you just have to accept it and not try to change yours.”
I appreciate your viewpoint and no wonder the guys like you. They should! Like you, I don’t really expect to change their minds and to me it’s more “boys will be boys” rather than “men will be men”. I think I’m too hard on them sometimes. After all it’s not easy to grow up! If I was a man, I would have a tough time with women too, but that is stating the obvious. 🙂
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couldn’t be more true. let’s face it i’ll go back to guys who are complete assholes…why you ask….because they have that swagger.
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What does any of this have to do with pleasure? Sounds like a lot of effort for not much.
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roissy, this lifestyle sounds like more of a rebellion against the church than society. I mean even Hugh Hefner has his own reality TV show, plus you’ve got “Master Pickup Artist”. Hardly anyone seems to give a shit if you’re married, gay, single, a swinger, childless, whatever. The only elements of society making a really big stink as far as I know are the more conservative religions.
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Ahhh. So terribly, delightfully disturbing, this post.
Exactly the mindset of my previous master. Which is exactly why he was.
It sent chills up my spine. Thank you, Roissy.
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[…] the understatement of a lifetime. However, it’s been a couple of days, and a post I read by Roissy In DC refuses to leave my mind. In it, he says, among other things: “The quintessential masculine […]
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[…] The answer to your quandary isn’t as obvious as most people would presume. The typical mediocrity would, of course, tell you to go to law school and slave away, sacrificing the last ounce of your soul for the “prize” of landing a quality woman who will be the perfect wife and mother of your future children. But I look around and see CEOs and captains of industry with frumpy, fat wives, and contrast them with the mangy, dirt poor DJs I see at the local indie hangout boffing cute young chicks. You observe enough of this and you begin to wonder if the conventional wisdom has it wrong. […]
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Seriously, where did you learn to write? You’re a fucking genius.
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