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Unbridgeable Chasm and a Recap

March 24, 2008 by CH

There was a contest for the best pictures on the internet for 2007 and the winners of the ‘Favorite Photo for Male Voters’ and ‘Favorite Photo for Female Voters’ categories really says a lot about what turns us on visually.

Here is the photo judged most pleasing by male voters:

favemale.jpg

No surprise. I would’ve liked to have seen some green nipples for realism.

Here is the photo judged most pleasing by female voters:

favefemale.jpg

The lesson is clear. Men have women’s bodies on the brain, and when they can’t ogle a real woman’s body they’ll settle for a mossy likeness. Women have cute animals, babies, and maternal love on the brain. And when they can’t enjoy these things they become lawyers. In previous generations, the husband spent a few nights a week out of the house playing poker with his buddies. There was no concept of married couples sharing all aspects of their lives together. I think they had it right.

In other news, the hipster happy hour last Friday brought a lot of love, although there weren’t many authentic hipsters at Marvin, just a lot of yuppies dancing ineffectually. There was rampant binge alcoholism and some were found passed out on their couches afterwards.

albundy.jpg

This looks like it was a very sweet dream.

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Posted in Ridiculousness, The Big City Life | 36 Comments

36 Responses

  1. on March 24, 2008 at 12:29 pm Lemmonex

    Hmmm…who is that, I wonder.

    LikeLike


  2. on March 24, 2008 at 1:36 pm Peter

    Do you think the chick in the first picture is shaved?

    LikeLike


  3. on March 24, 2008 at 2:11 pm agnostic

    I don’t know how I feel about a girl whose hair makes you picture Andy Warhol or David Lynch.

    LikeLike


  4. on March 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm Philip K. Dick

    Pleeeeease BAN PETER!!!!!

    LikeLike


  5. on March 24, 2008 at 3:23 pm candy cane

    Probably a lot of men picture themselves in the crook of the woman’s arm while she croons “Poor baby!” over and over. Notice the posture of the Panda and woman are nearly identical. It only goes to prove (oh yes, this is proof!) that women want real babies, not men who act like babies. Also men have a fantasy (I think this applies to Reggie) who are ‘kind, considerate, and a big turn on 24/7’. No time for babies or realism in that scenario. In my experience, babies and children are in general infinitely more interesting than men but the same could be said in regards to women too, I suppose.

    BTW lest anyone get the wrong idea, these are my subjective opinions at the moment.

    LikeLike


  6. on March 24, 2008 at 3:49 pm Hope

    ICANHASCHEEZBURGER (mostly cute animals with funny lol-speak) is very popular among men, too.

    Men prefer humor, and the humor value in the first picture is higher than the second one, which has a higher awww value. Women prefer awww value to humor value, but when they coincide both women and men will like it.

    Unless of course you’re just a heartless bastard.

    LikeLike


  7. on March 24, 2008 at 3:51 pm Hope

    Example of humor value: 3rd photo in roissy’s original post.

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  8. on March 24, 2008 at 4:04 pm Gannon

    I’m envious of Peter. Nobodywants me banned.

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  9. on March 24, 2008 at 4:16 pm Philip K. Dick

    ^ Make every single post about “glorious natural pelts” and I’ll oblige you.

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  10. on March 24, 2008 at 5:15 pm Peter

    Ah …. the Glorious Natural Pelt. One of Nature’s finest creations, storehouse of wonderful aromas and flavors.

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  11. on March 24, 2008 at 5:25 pm candy cane

    Peter is a muff diver. Should have known.

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  12. on March 24, 2008 at 6:50 pm roissy

    an expert level muff diver will never support the unshaven look. there is nothing grosser than going down on a giant unkempt bush, especially one that has been stewing in aromatic crotch juices.

    i suspect peter is lying about his pube preference. the running gag has a rich and storied history.

    LikeLike


  13. on March 24, 2008 at 6:59 pm PA

    I don’t care for the 70s-porn wild growth bush, but I do like a nice, natural-looking “triangle” — trimed, but there. Like in 80s – early 90s Playboys. Trimmed at edges, that’s all.

    The sex industry (porn, strippers) went downhill during the mid-90s, with the pedophilic-grossout full shave, or bizarre and stupid-looking landing strips or other shapes in no way harmonious with a woman’s rolling topography.

    LikeLike


  14. on March 24, 2008 at 9:40 pm Roosh

    I really should not have left early

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  15. on March 24, 2008 at 9:56 pm candy cane

    Peter has monopolized the boards again. There is a happy medium between the disturbing shaved pre-pubescent look and the grossly unkempt, greasy matted bush. Can we all agree on that?

    LikeLike


  16. on March 24, 2008 at 10:02 pm John Smith

    The more people empathize with animals, the more they should question their meat eating.

    LikeLike


  17. on March 24, 2008 at 10:27 pm Translator

    “Peter has monopolized the boards again”

    Means:

    “Somebody else has prevented me from making every one of Roissy’s posts be about me.”

    LikeLike


  18. on March 24, 2008 at 10:35 pm candy cane

    17 translator

    ““Peter has monopolized the boards again””

    Means:

    “Peter has monopolized the boards again” 🙂

    LikeLike


  19. on March 24, 2008 at 11:00 pm Gannon

    @18
    Da hast du vollkomen recht, meine kleine Süsse.

    LikeLike


  20. on March 25, 2008 at 12:52 am candy cane

    19

    “Since you have an right, my little sweet.”?

    translation courtesy of http://translation.langenberg.com

    I know approx. 10 words of German, my daughter knows more, but anything with “my little sweet” I am down for. 🙂

    LikeLike


  21. on March 25, 2008 at 1:27 am David Alexander

    I’m envious of Peter. Nobodywants me banned.

    People want to ban me. It’s obviously why girls will never love me! 🙂

    LikeLike


  22. on March 25, 2008 at 1:51 am Jewcano

    Roissy, I fully disagree with your expert-level comment. But then again, I’ve slept with French Canadians.

    What do these pics tell me? That most men believe if there’s grass on the field, play ball. And pandas, which appear gentle, caring and cuddly in public but are in fact unintelligent and vicious savages (hint – it’s a fucking bear) basically sum up what most women expect to end up with anyway.

    LikeLike


  23. on March 25, 2008 at 2:25 am Peter

    I don’t care for the 70s-porn wild growth bush, but I do like a nice, natural-looking “triangle” — trimed, but there. Like in 80s – early 90s Playboys. Trimmed at edges, that’s all.
    The sex industry (porn, strippers) went downhill during the mid-90s, with the pedophilic-grossout full shave, or bizarre and stupid-looking landing strips or other shapes in no way harmonious with a woman’s rolling topography.

    Believe it or not, my harping about the Glorious Natural Pelt notwithstanding, I have nothing against some reasonable trimming. So long as the basic upside-down triangle is maintained, in other words. Unfortunately, far too many women today go the whole hog* and sport the loathsome and pedophilic Bald Eagle look. It’s probably tied in with the general downfall of moderation in behavior.

    I am also aware that the fully shaved look is no longer an exclusively female thing. As your elementary school teacher undoubtedly told you, however, two wrongs don’t make a right. Besides, the full shave has some actual value for men, as it makes them look bigger.

    * = so to speak

    LikeLike


  24. on March 25, 2008 at 3:33 am Philip K. Dick

    For the benefit of Mr. Kite
    There will be a show tonight on trampoline

    LikeLike


  25. on March 25, 2008 at 6:54 am Yakking Guy

    I already know Peter’s answer, but would the rest of you want any hair follicles anywhere below the eyebrows on your sexbot? If so, why? What is the attraction of a beard on something as lovely as a tight female you-know-what? It is concealment, nothing more.

    If all females naturally lacked hair follicles in that area in the same way they lack them on their facial cheeks and someone Photoshopped a beard onto a pitcure of some young lady’s nether region, would not eveyone react to such a photo by saying “ewwww, gross!” ?

    As far as I’m concerned, hair is for bears.

    Peter, there is no need to answer. In your case I might just as well try converting Billy Graham to paganism.

    LikeLike


  26. on March 25, 2008 at 8:05 am johnny five

    #13 pa
    pedophilic-grossout full shave

    a man’s affinity for shaved quim is no more pedophilic than is a woman’s affinity for clean-shaven faces.

    in fact, it’s less so, because neoteny, or, more precisely, pedomorphic characteristics, are a classic and indispensable component of traditional female allure.

    i understand that some men might like the glorious natural pelt, but ‘pedophilic grossout’ sounds like echolalia from some 14-year-old, repeating the words of his angry mother (who doesn’t shave) about his new stepmother (who does).

    LikeLike


  27. on March 25, 2008 at 12:31 pm cuchulainn

    i prefer the panda and cub.

    LikeLike


  28. on March 25, 2008 at 12:45 pm cuchulainn

    By the by, check out Robbie Williams game. Serious negging followed by intense eye contact. If she wasn’t surrounded or on TV he could’ve seduced her without a word.

    LikeLike


  29. on March 25, 2008 at 12:48 pm cuchulainn

    (he did steal Neil Strauss’s girlfriend)

    LikeLike


  30. on March 25, 2008 at 1:49 pm candy cane

    28

    “Serious negging followed by intense eye contact. If she wasn’t surrounded or on TV he could’ve seduced her without a word.”

    Williams is so full of himself you could cut his bullshit with a knife. Yet another poser who considers himself God’s gift to women.. Personally, I find him creeepy. In my opinion game is getting so *yawn* old and tired. The same stupid, transparent routine with the same boring, unimaginative in/out, in/out *yawn* result.

    I like the Panda picture maybe because it is what it is; a Panda with baby. The first picture is just a plant made to look like a woman.

    LikeLike


  31. on March 25, 2008 at 1:52 pm cuchulainn

    candy cane, the day women are not seduced by game is the day men are not seduced by hot young girls.

    LikeLike


  32. on March 25, 2008 at 2:55 pm candy cane

    31

    Women are seduced by game because they are idiot. FACT. And vice versa.

    LikeLike


  33. on March 25, 2008 at 3:03 pm Reggie

    #30 candy cane
    Williams is so full of himself you could cut his bullshit with a knife. Yet another poser who considers himself God’s gift to women.. Personally, I find him creeepy.

    I don’t care for him either, but the guy sleeps with numerous young, attractive women and thus meets the requirements of being a player. Sure, it has a lot to do with his fame and wealth, but we all use what we have at our disposal. What would he have to do to convince you that he’s not a poser?

    In my opinion game is getting so *yawn* old and tired. The same stupid, transparent routine with the same boring, unimaginative in/out, in/out *yawn* result.

    It’s too bad about the guy with the gun standing behind you and forcing you to read about it, then. I hope you escape your hostage situation.

    LikeLike


  34. on March 25, 2008 at 3:33 pm candy cane

    33 Reg.

    “Sure, it has a lot to do with his fame and wealth, but we all use what we have at our disposal.”

    I know what you mean, but can’t relate to using what we have “at our disposal”. Disposal part does not compute. I am what I am; that is what is at my “disposal” but I don’t consider it disposable.

    “It’s too bad about the guy with the gun standing behind you and forcing you to read about it, then. I hope you escape your hostage situation”

    You’re silly. No one forces me to do anything. I read this stuff because is entertains me. I’d like to see someone try to stop me. You take it seriously? That’s your problem! 🙂

    LikeLike


  35. on March 25, 2008 at 3:41 pm candy cane

    The third picture is by far the most unfortunate; bloated, pasty hand (with blemishes) reaching under baby shit brown comforter, for fetid (I imagine) cock under black 100% polyester shorts, wearing 50/50 cheap gray sweatshirt. One can only imagine the cum spots on this mans bedding. Not exactly a woman’s dream come true.

    LikeLike


  36. on March 25, 2008 at 4:14 pm kerrie

    Robbie Williams! Thank you!

    LikeLike



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