Relationships Kill Sex

The longer a woman is in a relationship, the less often she wants sex.

A woman’s sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, according to research.

Researchers from Germany found that four years into a relationship, less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex.

Conversely, the team found a man’s libido remained the same regardless of how long he had been in a relationship.

This is great justification for men to either keep a harem with high turnover, or to be serially monogamous with a few unjaded mistresses on the side. If you include a woman’s sex drive as a variable, her shelf life in a relationship is even shorter than her remaining years of youth would indicate.

They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex “often” at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%.

In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.

This proves that men were designed by the forces of natural selection to seek out new willing partners every few years. I think the concubines would be OK with this arrangement as long as the harem keeper continued to financially, if not emotionally, provide for the aging mothers of his children. In polygamous societies, the discarded older wives get their emotional nourishment from gossiping with each other and collectively raising the children. People would be surprised how effortlessly most women could fall into a polygamist arrangement, given the right social environment. Their uncontrollable lust for alpha males would be unquenchable were it not for artificial cultural boundaries.

He said: “For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male.”

But women, he said, have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship in order to form a “pair bond” with their partner.

But, once this bond is sealed a woman’s sexual appetite declines, he added.

Goddamn the market for sexbots will be huge.

Lesson for men: Start prowling around the first time your girlfriend or wife says she has a headache. It’s only going to get worse.

“The rational for why a woman’s sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop.”

Myth shattered: The bonds of long-lasting love in a committed relationship make for better (read: more frequent) sex.

I suppose couples could go the kinky route to reinvigorate their moribund sex lives, but that reeks of desperation. Nothing says “I want to fuck you” like prepping with a chest full of leather masks and mechanical gadgets. The woman’s naked body should be enough to get the man hard.

They could also not have children. I bet that would keep the flames burning a few extra years. Or they could follow the recommendation and give the man room to stray. A man getting fresh vagina on the side is a happier husband for his frigid wife.

This has been yet another after school special shattering popular myths brought to you by me, your envoy of strife, hate, and gleeful cruelty.