Beta Of The Year Award: Husband Takes Wife’s Name

One of the telltale signs of the escalating emasculation of mainstream American culture has been the trend of wives keeping their maiden names, either in whole or in ridiculous hyphenation. And then selfishly passing on this matronymic abomination to their children. Men relinquish so much autonomy and prerogative to pursue their natural male desires when they get married that it’s the ultimate insult to their dignity to have to throw back the one measly bone of their wives taking their family name. The maiden married name racket is like the ultimate shit test — accede to your wife’s feminist posturing and you will be tarred with the beta brush every day of your life you are married to her.

The irony is that the maiden name is the wife’s father’s name. When a woman keeps her last name in marriage, she’s keeping another man’s name, just not her husband’s. Even women with three generations worth of hyphenated last names are hauling around the history of the male ancestors in their families. The patriarchy that these “enlightened” women are supposedly fighting against lives on.

Which brings us to the first ever Beta Of The Year Award.

Check out this guy who sued the state of California to take his wife’s surname in marriage.

All Michael Buday wanted to do was take the last name of his wife, Diana Bijon, when they married.

But it took two years, a lawsuit alleging sex discrimination and a change in California law before he picked up his new drivers license in the name of Michael Bijon on Monday.

“It was personal. I feel much closer to (Diana’s) father than I do mine. She asked me to take her name and I thought it would be very simple. I never imagined the state would make it so difficult,” Michael Bijon, 31, told reporters.

This guy wins the coveted BOTY trophy (the trophy is a man tucking his junk between his legs). What a bravura performance! Take a curtsy, King Of All Betas.

Look how proud he is of his self-castration:

she fucks him with her clit.

And what does this champion of women’s lib do for a living?

After months of frustration, the Los Angeles computer programmer and his ER nurse wife Diana, 29, took their problem to the American Civil Liberties Union of Southern California.

He may look alpha but it’s the inside nerd that counts. He must feel so grateful for getting laid. I wonder how many other conditions he had to abide before she consented to marry him?

“Women have fought for so long for equal rights and it feels like this is part of that fight,” said Diana Bijon.

Blah blah fucking blah. Could you imagine being shackled for life to this shrike? Last thing any man wants in a wife is an ideological axe grinder.

“I am really, really proud of him. Not many men would do this,” she said.

That’s true. Not many men would do that. Good thing you married a quisling bitchboy. Prep the divorce papers.

“This disposes of the rule in California that the male surname is the marital name to the same trash bin where dowries were once tossed out,” said Mark Rosenbaum, legal director of the Southern California chapter of the ACLU.

When future generations of dysfunctional feral kids in a post-apocalyptic third-worldicized USA ask why men stopped getting married and the institution fell into utter disrepute you can point them to quotes like this. Something these self-appointed commissars of culture never seem to grasp:

Maxim #27: You have to make marriage an attractive alternative for MEN — not women — if you want the institution to thrive.

Here’s the deal: If your wife truly loves you as the rock solid man you are, and not the beaten down betaboy she imagines she wants, she’ll be happy to take your name because she’ll understand and appreciate how much you sacrifice as a man when getting married. If she’s not on board with the name change, then like a ballcutting canary in the coal mine warning you of danger you can bet you’ll be begging for sex once a month.

In a second interview soon to be published, King Of All Betas had this to say:

– he will pee sitting so that he can identify with the urinary oppression of women.
– his dog will be named “Cat”.
– he will wear pink ribbons and march in every women’s rights parade in the country and donate thousands of dollars to every women’s cause under the sun. Then he will be diagnosed with prostate cancer.
– he will give any future sons girl’s names and his daughters boy’s names. He will force his son to play with Barbies and teach his five year old daughter safe sex.
– he will wear an empathy belly when his wife is pregnant. Shit, he’ll wear it when she’s constipated.
– he will ask permission to cum. He will then say “Are you sure?” each time permission is granted. He will say “Sorry” when he gets a little on the bedsheet. He will beg forgiveness if it hits her in the face.
– his wife likes golden showers. He is the mouth toilet.
– he will apologize for walking in on his wife fucking me.
– I will tell him to shut up and make me a sammich.
– when she inevitably divorces his beta ass he’ll cry so hard that he hyperventilates himself to death.

The only reason this guy isn’t demoted to omega status is because he managed to get married, and to a decently attractive woman. But he’s a great example of how you can’t judge male betaness primarily by looks like you can judge female betaness. If you showed me pictures of two random men and asked me to guess which of the two was the beta and all I knew about them was that one was ugly and the other was a good-looking computer programmer who took his wife’s name in marriage, I’d choose the programmer as the more likely candidate for betaness.

Recap

Don’t get married.
If you do, insist your wife takes your name.
If she refuses, don’t marry her. She failed the litmus test.
Better yet, just don’t get married.