Is there any easier venue for meeting girls than the house party? No. Think about the advantages and short cuts the house party gives you:
- No cold approaches, only “warm” approaches. You may have never met the girl before but at a house party that doesn’t matter. There’s an expectation that people will introduce themselves to other house party guests.
- Convenient opener material. “So how do you know [host’s name]?” Simple. Also gives you instant higher status if you know the host but she doesn’t.
- The girls are friendlier. Where a club or bar causes bitch shields to power up to maximum deflection, a house party softens frontline defenses. Think of the house party like a Davos diplomatic circle jerk and the bars like the trenches of WWI. Where would you rather be?
- The girls are cooler. True fact. Remember the girls you met at clubs versus the girls you met at house parties. Who did you have more fun talking to?
- Automatic social proof. You’re at a house party so you must have friends, ergo you’re normal and socially accepted. The girls’ fear of getting hit on by a weird loner omega is alleviated.
- NO COCKBLOCK. Seriously, how often do you see blatant CB attempts at house parties? Flocks of girls tend to disperse in the comfortable confines of a home or apartment as opposed to the perimeter defense they enforce in the bars. You’re more likely to find the CB wandering off by herself and getting lost in the kitchen having shots with the other castaway cockblocks.
DOWNSIDE
The girls won’t be as hot. The upper attractiveness tier of chicks are more validation-addicted than the lower tiers. They aren’t going to waste their best years of attention whoring in house parties when they could command a much larger audience of suckups in the clubs. But if you don’t mind sacrificing 8s and 9s for boffing 7s with agreeable personalities, then you should focus on house parties.
Flip cup and other drinking games may be retarded but they’re staples of the house party and an excellent skill every player under the age of 24 should master. You’re in close contact with the girls “accidentally” brushing up against them, the girls are getting drunker by the second, and if you’re good you can demonstrate higher status by humiliating your male competitors and showing mercy when one of them looks like he’s about to puke. If you have a high tolerance for alcohol you’ll always be one sober step ahead of the girls. A good player knows to keep his wits about him when pussy is on the line.
advanced ping pong.
A guy at this party asked me to join this energetic flip cup game. I politely declined. At my age, I’m cultivating a suave James Bond (Connery, of course) identity for myself and flip cup doesn’t fit that image. I think the girls were impressed with my tumbler of whiskey.
Of course it’s a lot harder to plan to go to a house party. There has to be one being held, and you’ve got to get an invitation.
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House parties are key to meet good girls in Latinamerica. Most decent Latinamerican women only go to the disco and bars to dance and have some fun (read fun, not meeting guys to have sex with). They do not look for boyfriends at bars or in discos. Boyfriends are met in HS, college, the neigborhood, in Church, definitively not at a pub. Other interesting prospects are the older brother friends or introduced by the parents. This is the reason why I suspect that Roosh’s experience in Southamerica wasn’t a complete success in the gf department.
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Just have to locate and invade. This post follows the logic of Wedding Crashers.
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… I mean in recognizing that females at personal gatherings are going to be low defenses/high in trust.
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Even when I had no confidence (i.e. no game) I could score at House Parties. You are at the party making lots of people laugh, the girl looks at you and sees that you are not short and you are in pretty good shape and she is laughing…Abra Kadabra, you are making out.
Also, about the bitch shield: girls can be as bitchy as they want at clubs and bars and never worry about NOT being invited back.
At some House Party, especially if she doesnt know the host that well, she sorta needs to be on her best “party” behaviour.
Also, I think that the 9’s and 10’s just know not to go to your average house party. It simply isnt hip enough. I mean, she could be at some dirty bar watching her wanna-be-rockstar boyfriend perform instead. Or, attempting to score an invite to P.Diddy’s latest Vodka-fest.
But a House Party? With Beer Pong? No way.
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While I agree with pretty much everything here, I think a crucial element is missing in the house party analysis: they tend to be really insular. IE, you may meet some new people, but the person who throws the party is surrounded by their crew and if you know the crew, nothing too exciting is going to go down. I often feel like house parties are the same as bars without the element of “anything could happen”. You know what is going to happen: there will be flip cup, there will be some bitch puking her brains out in the bathroom holding up the line, and that jackass who always drinks too much will threaten to punch someone.
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I agree with Ususually. I’ve seen 9s (I don’t believe in 10s) at house parties before. It depends on the house party though. Who is throwing what and where. A house party thrown by a very high status person with lots of social connections and an eye to make the party themed and more than the sum of cheap booze becomes a true event: one that attracts very hot women.
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I didn’t these types of things in high school when there was no drinking, but I have that Asian version of the gene that breaks down alcohol — I don’t, so it goes right to the bloodstream, making my face turn a bit red (though not beet red).
No biggie in a club since the lights are dimmed and it’ll pass through my system by the time light hits me again.
I think the Spanish way is the best: gather for a house party where you play silly games like this and get to know each other until 11, then head out to a bar or karaoke joint until 1, then hit a dance club until 5 or 6. Multiple-venue dates are built into the routine of some countries; it’s too bad we don’t have that here.
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Er, “I didn’t *mind* these types of things…”
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agnostic — asian glow!
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Plus, there’s always the possibility that Kid ‘n Play will show up.
House parties can occasionally be dicey. Too few people and it’s just a large group of friends hanging out, but with the sad knowledge that they weren’t able to attract anyone new; too many people and it becomes more like a bar or club, with all the disadvantages you mentioned. But when you hit that sweet spot, they can be a lot of fun.
Oh, and shouldn’t you not care whether or not women think it’s cool that you drink scotch? Because that smacks of approval-seeking.
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Reggie, love it or hate it, any PUA that thinks about “not leaning in when she talks” or “having social cred in some environment” or “wears nice shoes” or “peacocks” or anything else like that is concerned, very much, with how they look to others.
Some will call it seeking approval, others will say it is simply about presenting yourself in the best light or even being your best self (or some shit), but, it all comes down to the same thing: I see me, they see me, I care about how they see me.
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“I think the girls were impressed with my tumbler of whiskey.”
I’d wager they were more impressed that you didn’t play this stupid game. A tumble of whiskey? The smell makes me dry.
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10 paperdreamer
Yeah, I’m only 1/4 Japanese, but it’s enough. What about your Central Asian makeup — you got enough Yellow in your Brown to turn you red?
Oh, and shouldn’t you not care whether or not women think it’s cool that you drink scotch? Because that smacks of approval-seeking.
It’s called seeing if the experiment worked. When you try out new openers or devise new ways to initiate playful touching, same thing — did it work or not?
You don’t build a bridge in order to say, “Ha, look at that, I built a bridge!” It’s a means to an end, and you have to test it to see if it stands up before going forward.
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14 agnostic — you’d be surprised how often I get asked “Brown or yellow?” haha
I’m not brown people to let me be brown, but I’m not yellow enough for me to consider myself banana yellow. I just tell people I’m tan…
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**I meant that I’m not brown enough for brown people to consider me brown.
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Hey Roissy: any ideas for bypassing the social proof problem? I actually am a loner omega with no friends, but don’t see why this should keep me from getting a little pussy now and then. Just work hard on the rest of it, or is it a sine qua non?
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What about if you don’t drink but smoke pot instead. Does that change things?
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#18: Yes, but the weed’s made me too lazy to explain why.
#17: Ditto, except for not knowing what a sine qua non is.
I think the best route for omegas is pay-for-play, at least until the sex dolls get built, but let’s see what the experts have to say.
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Anonymous:
Yes, if you’re the only one high, just shut up. You’ll sound like an idiot. Alcohol can help with wit and loosening up, weed just turns you into Cheech and Chong at best and Shaggy from Scooby Doo at worst. If everyone is getting high, well, there’s a reason why countercultural marijuana use and sexual laxity go hand in hand. Note that smoking too much of it will make you completely forget about sex, as you will zone out too easily. Instead of making a move on a girl, you’ll just watch Adult Swim and giggle alot.
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“I think that the 9’s and 10’s just know not to go to your average house party. It simply isnt hip enough. I mean, she could be at some dirty bar watching her wanna-be-rockstar boyfriend perform instead.”
We gotta create a distinction here.
For me, BARS are naturally where people are trying too hard to impress everybody else. But CLUBS are different. If there’s a band playing, or there’s just something going on, that is safer as far as meeting women or men. At least by my experience. If you’re going to the place with a distinct purpose, and you decide to make a move on somebody across the room, you don’t feel like such a singles-bar sleaze.
Like you would in a plain old BAR that just has a BAR and nothing else, apart from maybe some generic dance music.
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Lenny said: “For me, BARS are naturally where people are trying too hard to impress everybody else.”
Thanks, Lenny….but what does Squiggy think?
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Anyway you look at it, this looks like a horrible party. What a bunch of dim bulbs. Standing around looking like sheep in a herd with their stupid plastic cups seeing who can poison themselves the most with alcohol before losing consciousness, vomiting, or getting laid? The last time I played a “drinking game” I was in high school. I did go to a party last year with my idiot EX-BOYFRIEND and there were so-called adults (20 to 60) drinking excessively and getting progressively louder and louder as the night WORE on. Please roissy, don’t advocate this crap as a “staple” of party life. Do yourself and your impressionable readers a big favor and cultivate new friends and more interesting parties and experiences. Is all of DC like this?
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The downside comes from the fact that house parties are small venues with low degrees of separation in the crowd. This greatly increases the chance that your performance with the first girl you start hitting on is going to affect your chances with later ones. Visibly strike out and your cachet takes a hit. Obviously get a number and you may be up or down. If a girl you’ve been working on thinks she catches you chatting up her friend across the room, your work may be shot. The general size and darkness of most nightlife spots make these risks lower.
Plus, you’ll inevitably end up getting chatted up on retarded stuff like campaign finance by a bunch of herbs. Was the chick in the pink cute?
Lemmonex – It just sounds like you’re not making the most of the party. The point of a house party is to have fun with friends while meeting strangers, not sit around with your clique while strangers spill things on your carpet and steal your CDs. Work the crowd.
Sara – “A tumble of whiskey? The smell makes me dry.” – You are a Communist.
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Roissy,
I think we are eagerly awaiting your brilliant comments on the cougarfest surrounding the Sex and the City movie opening.
Dr. D.
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I love a good house party.
Another pro for house parties not mentioned – with the advent of facebook, etc, you can can scan the “attending” list for females, and take a look at who is single and who is not. Save time wasted on the taken ones.
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24 Jewcano ” – You are a Communist.”
How dare you! No, am just a bit anal when it comes to smells. No pun intended. Dated a man for whom Tequila was an “aphrodisiac”. I told him to take the stench elsewhere as it has the opposite effect on me. If you’re going to drink whiskey, your date will probably have to be into it too, and how attractive is that?
roissy “I’m cultivating a suave James Bond (Connery, of course) identity for myself and flip cup doesn’t fit that image.”
Please note that James (Sean) would not BE at a party like that. Please cultivate some more refined friendships, interests, and past times so we may enjoy the new you and share in your experiences.
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Jesus Sara, what a fucking killjoy you sound like. Is a night at home knitting with your cats more to your liking?
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House parties are centrally important to teenage guys trying to hone their game. Especially in America with its ridiculous drinking age. The best strategy is to acquire some peripheral friends, friends of friends of friends or whatever, and get invited to obscure, out-of-the-way parties you wouldn’t normally attend. When starting out you’ll screw up A LOT, so you cannot practice in high school or anywhere like that, lest your social status takes a nosedive. At the same time you can’t get into bars or clubs. So what do you do?
House parties, far away house parties where you can screw up and not be ridiculed. That said, if you’re that young you should really be pushing your comfort zone further. Meeting girls at house parties is almost too easy. If you want to develop rock solid game you’ve gotta jump in the snake pit and start cold approaching.
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I suspect that Sara is right, and that Mr Bond would not attend a party of the kind that Roissy describes above. He is too busy playing whatever-it-is on the Lido or in Monte Carlo, saying “banco” at the appropriate moment. He keeps his private life (women) separate from his social engagements (bosses, cronies, colleagues), to which he brings Miss Moneypenny as his date.
Clio
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Yes, Sara does seem a bit bitchy. I think perhaps she might need a night of passionate, vigorous, fucking. Girls who get really bitchy often need a nice, good, long, hard fuck to quiet them down: and one that lasts no less than an hour, and preferably all night. It has always worked for me.
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I think the best route for omegas is pay-for-play, at least until the sex dolls get built, but let’s see what the experts have to say.
No, I’ve been dating 3s and 4s. You can even date more than one at a time and have a sort of low-rent version of the player lifestyle. It’s harder to reach an erection with them than it is by masturbating, but at least I claim to have a girlfriend at work. An ugly girlfriend is better than no girlfriend. Also if you prefer masturbation to the girl, it removes one of the girl’s major bargaining points; she can’t get at you by witholding sex.
We can’t all be Roissy, but game might let me pick up a 5 or a 6.
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SFG:
Hey Roissy: any ideas for bypassing the social proof problem? I actually am a loner omega with no friends, but don’t see why this should keep me from getting a little pussy now and then. Just work hard on the rest of it, or is it a sine qua non?
please, one david alexander is enough. no more talk of being a loner.
if you seriously have no friends, then your answer is to go to bars on weeknights. you won’t look out of place showing up by yourself on a wednesday night. build a rapport with the bartenders on their slow nights so that they acknowledge you more animatedly on the money shot weekend nights. i have picked up quite a few women on slow weeknights. while social proof is powerful, it’s not necessary. good “lone wolf” game is enough to snag a chick.
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28 Ben
Never learned to knit. The cats are all dead. 😦
31 Racer X
Having a bad hormone day. A good fucking would help tremendously. You seem to know a lot about bitchy women. I could use a man like you…….
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The offers I’ve had lately? Too young, too old, too too.
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Sara, well I would be more than happy to help you out. One of the cures for bitchiness is simply to fuck a girls brains out, for hours on end, until she can’t take it anymore. A lot of guys become terrified when a woman gets bitchy, at least most beta guys. They get that scared little boy look in their eyes, as if they are dealing with their mother when they were five years old. This only earns them the deeper contempt of the woman they are cowering in front of. I love it when I know that a girl is actually a little sore and exhausted the next day from a hard, healthy, sweaty fuck, but in a pleasurable and forbidden way. I have found all the girls I have fucked love that feeling too, so much so that they want a lot more of that over and over again.
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I’ve been doing the 3s and 4s route, and have been handicapped for better things by most of my social circle knowing and remembering me as the “needy, creepy” guy. (We follow the same bands here in LA. 10 women who wouldn’t date me in the past and said so to my face saw me with my bulky girlfriend at the last concert. That was a week before she moved away to take a new job.) Roissy’s weeknight bar suggestion is spot-on, and pairing it with lone-wolf day game even better.
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36 Whooeee Racer X! You are so right on all accounts. Have never actually had a man who would strongly “encourage” a good fucking when I needed it most. Most, like you say, are too intimidated. It’s a fine line and I would not want to necessarily be the man dealing with me under those risk laden hormonal conditions, except the rewards are undeniable for both.. As you say, show no mercy till the job is DONE and not a moment before. I feel better just thinking about it.
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#32: Why the fuck would I want to have a stable of 4’s?
#33 (Roissy): Sounds like a decent idea. I think that working yourself out of omega status via having a better body, life and self-image is something that should be done before working on “game” of any sort, though.
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Roissy: thanks for the hint! Am a little busy with the job but will give it a shot!
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…
If you already have a web site and are trying to decide between an email newsletter and a blog, note the main difference: a blog is a“ pull” (i. e. readers have to find it and go there) while an email marketing message or newsletter is a“ push”…
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