There is a lot of unspoken tension on the first two dates. Until you’ve had sex with a girl, that tension will always be there, and can’t be resolved until clothes are off and bodies pressing. This tension is good — it serves to keep both of you mentally sharp so you put your best face forward, and it motivates you to find a way to relieve the tension in sex. This is why when a girl decides after a lackluster first date that the guy is not worth banging she feels disappointment more than relief as the tension fizzles.
But too much tension makes you stiff and nervous. Then you’ll try too hard to compensate for how you’re feeling, anything to alleviate the discomfort. This is where the Wii shines. Next time you go out on a date tell her you’re taking her to a place that has Wii bowling. Watch her eyes light up!
The Wii is great for relieving the negative nervous tension while sustaining the positive sexual tension. You’re bumping into each other, you’re swinging your arms, you’re standing behind her guiding her arm on proper Wii bowling technique, and you’re making fun of each other. Wii boxing works, too. Imagine the unbridled joy of popping your virtual date with an uppercut. Actually, her joy will be greater. All girls secretly harbor a hidden desire to physically pummel the guys they are attracted to.
And the Wii characters are cute and cartoonish which appeals to a girl’s sensibility. Make sure she has a couple drinks in her before playing. Inebriated Wii torques the burning lust.
Close the deal with naked Wii Fit.
It’s funny how all the nerds bitch and moan about Nintendo, and Wii Fit “killing the video game industry” when the Wii is a gift from God for the gamers looking to pick up chicks. I can’t even begin to tell you how easy it was to get a girl back to my place to play a round of Mario Kart or Wii Bowling.
The best part about Wii Fit is how, upon first starting the game, it calculates your BMI and then will let you know if you’re too skinny, normal, overweight, or obese. Hopefully this will be a wake-up call to some of these fatties with distorted self-images that think they’re God’s gift to men.
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I do love me some wii. This is because I am good at it. This is also why I loathe pool…failure pains me and I am a shameful, pitiful failure it.
And I think women more desire the men they are attracted to pummeling them. Do you ever see women choking/slapping men in porn? Then again, porn isn’t really produced with us in mind..
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I haven’t got one yet, but I’m going to. One problem I would have with this scenario is competiveness. I would get too into it and want to destroy her 100 to nothing.. A girl once bet me at real bowling and I was damn annoyed.
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Meh, call me when they have Wii finger banging… THAT is all
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@2 “Do you ever see women choking/slapping men in porn?”
Yes, you just need to know where to look.
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Funny posting. Getting physical together is an excellent way of warming up (and lubing up) an evening.
More Wii musings here.
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I’m now officially a Wii fan.
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Works on a particular type of girl, I suppose.
In my experience, few women I’m interested in want to play video games.
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This shit is fucking golden. I never thought of playing Wii with girls but it makes perfect sense.
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“Deliberately causing mayhem.”
I really can’t help it. Everyone is being so nice and civilized today. Someone needs to throw a spanner in the works (i.e. deliberately causing mayhem) and especially since The Prince himself has shown up (i.e. Patrick Bateman). Shouldn’t your post here be called “Wii Seduction.” What does love really have to do with it? I’m falling asleep over here.
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8 Patrick
Has your girlfriend changed her first name yet? What did you have her change it to? Echo?
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Xbox 360 is for FPS nerds and necrophilics (beware the three rings of death).
On a serious note: the only games my gf plays is Wiisports, Wiiplay(ugh) and Mariokart. Most chicks like Mariokart.
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@2 “Do you ever see women choking/slapping men in porn?”
It’s out there, you just need to know where to look.
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Huh. I got a Wii as a gift a year and a half ago but haven’t unpacked or played it, as I’m past my video game phase. But if chix dig it, I’ll have to deflower it soon.
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My friends and I were just saying how the best dates are those where you’re doing something. Sounds like it could be fun. Its so much better than dinner…boring!
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Shaved women are evil! Long live the Glorious Natural Pelt!
I am somewhat intoxicated at the moment, but rest assured these are my actual beliefs and not just some drunk posting.
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Most chicks like Mariokart.
Wellesley Queen and her friends loved that game…
Dude, did you finally get Super Smash Brothers Brawl?
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No. Why? Do you want to play online with me? I mean SSBM, by the way…
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God put the so-called “Glorious Natural Pelt” on Earth to test our faith. Pubic hair is a tool of Satan, and to deny the civilized glory of a smooth, soft mound is to consort with Old Scratch.
Yuko shaves.
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No. Why? Do you want to play online with me? I mean SSBM, by the way…
Actually, my brother does since he’s always playing the game and always looking for more partners. Plus, he’s seen what you’ve written, and he wants to kick your ass (in the game)…
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All girls secretly harbor a hidden desire to physically pummel the guys they are attracted to.
I think this is one of the most astute observations you’ve made. Holy shit, no wonder..
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there’s nothing sexier than beating a guy at wii and then seeing his best moves and energy are saved for the bedroom.
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i wish there was a wii excitebike.
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testing (sorry)
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Hey u mentioned once going on a country side ride on a scooter with a chik, and how she would like it copared to gifts.
Question: any particular suggestions in the DMV area and where can i rent a scooter? EVen if not for her, sounds like summer fun for me.
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[…] Ratio Uber Alles. A bad ratio can deep six an otherwise glorious bar. This is a great place to bring a date, not find a […]
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[…] but then you went and fucked it up you thought you weren’t douche enough so you had people wait in a line when clearly no one was inside this policy is cheese when it’s in NYC but here in DC it’ll kill your revenue stream and so i’ve noticed lately not many patrons i see here’s a suggestion from me toss the pseudo-Victorian love seats and add a Wii. […]
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I will second every rave review of the wii for picking up chicks. I got a wii when they first came out and the women were lining up to play wii sports.
This happened because women get super bitchy and competitive when it comes to shopping, and they saw and exaggerated all the dudes trying to get wiis.
Later on in my career I got a hot 18 year old to come back to my place with my fiancee and I for some Strip Wii. It was great, because the initial “Oh shit I’m naked.” tension just bleeds away because everyone is having fun with the game, as long as you don’t get all beta and stare at the chick like a needy creep. After all, what Alpha isn’t used to seeing naked women all the time? Plus the forbidden fruit taboo of a unique “strip” game is something they love.
The rules are simple, with wii strip bowling, every 10 points you score, everyone else loses an item.
Golf, every point over, you lose an item. If you are under someone else loses an item.
Tennis, strip every point against you.
Baseball is the best. Play and everytime you get to a base or home, you go there with the other person. Hit a double, C’mon Titties! A homer? Bang, bang! Plus, the competition amps up the adrenaline and makes the sex that much hotter when someone hits a homer because of all the singles and doubles previous.
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[…] her of you should you two break up). Get her a collection of movies you know she likes. Or Wii foreplay games. Buy her some wicked “Eyes Wide Shut” masks for her bookshelf (or bedroom […]
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