The previous two times I presented a hypothetical pickup scenario and challenged you to respond with your best game, most of you revealed your beta soul with weak suggestions, but a few commenters showed a spark of alpha. Let’s see how you fare this time.
You’re at a dive bar and a friend’s crappy band is playing. You notice a cute hippie-ish chick across the room. She looks back at you ever so briefly, but a half second is all you need. As you’re mentally analyzing the logistics for optimal approach angle, she and her depressed-looking girlfriend wind their way through the small crowd and position themselves closer to you, talking to each other. Proximity IOI! You know what this means. You go in… smooth, confident, maybe one eyebrow arched, you cocky sonofabitch?
Entry is perfect. You engage her effortlessly and she responds well, smiling right away. Opening with an exceedingly trenchant observation about the band, you quickly segue into teasing her about something you notice she’s wearing. You manage to squeeze in a little kino, lightly touching her arm and the small of her back, and even a funny braid in her hair (which you gently mock, naturally). Five minutes later, attraction is established. (It shouldn’t take long if you know what you’re doing.)
She tells you that her friend wants to meet someone at another bar, so she’s going to go. She says this with an expectant look in her eyes. You notice her friend is standing with poor posture and glumly gazing around the room. A quick review of the situation tells you that following your girl like a puppy dog would look beta (after all, you’re there for your friend’s band, and they are still playing), so you say you’d like to chat again and hand her your phone. She takes it and proceeds to not only type in her number, but her name. She leaves with her sad friend.
Five minute interaction. Not enough time to move her into deeper rapport when you can impart a more indelible impression on her. You realize that mere attraction is not enough to secure a solid phone number, but you have to take your chances. A shaky number close is better than no number at all. A few minutes later, she sends you a text saying you are “adorable” and she’d like drinks soon. You text back, scolding her humorously for calling you adorable, and saying you will call. She texts once more with a funny throwaway line to which you don’t respond. (You know better than to incriminate yourself by sending the last text.)
A couple days later you call. Voicemail. No surprise there. You leave a brief message. “Hey, it’s [Massive Alpha]. Give me a call when you get this. Bye.” Four hours later she calls back. Still not surprised. After a flirty and fun ten minute conversation, you set up a date with her in two days. The day before the date you get the following text from her:
“Hey – a friend of mine is going through a break up and needs to talk tomorrow night. The rest of my week is crazy. I’ll give you a call later on and we’ll make…” [her text gets cut off here]
What do you do?
******
Tomorrow I will post a selection of answers from the readers and judge them accordingly. Then I will tell you what I did.
No prob, holla when U get clear.
Salaam
Mu
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1) “What is your friend’s #?”
2) “…babies? Sounds good, try me Sunday.”
3) “No prob, get in touch when you’ve got some free nights.”
#3 is my recommendation. Don’t try to be cutesy and clever, just be unfazed by her cancellation (which sounds legit) and leave the ball in her court to show that not going out with her is not the end of your world. If her interest in you is as strong as I read from this post, 50-80% chance she calls back.
#2 runs the risk of being weird, if she doesn’t realize that her original text was cut off. That, and cracking jokes is try-hard.
I might drop #1 if she came across as slutty. Doesn’t sound like that’s the case though.
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Mu’min knows whats up
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Umm…is the correct answer, you buy her flowers and offer to take her to her favorite restaurant? I win, right?
No, you do nothing. If she realizes she sent a truncated text, let her figure that out and sweat it. If she’s just testing you then Fuck That.
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“the gf you were with at concert?” thank her for not interrupting us
and not a single character more unless she responds
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A red flag is that she did not suggest a different date, like “could we get together next week instead?”
Not replying is what I’d probably do in this case.
Mu’Min’s “No prob, holla when U get clear” is good if you’ve had more time to establish attraction. I like it, but I suspect it can get give her a psychological ‘closure’ with you and cause her to move on.
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She’s going to say “make plans for another night next week”. My response would be to reply with something along the lines of “Am away on business overseas from Sunday, if you want to meet up before then, let me know….”.
A hippie-ish chick who hangs out at a dive bar should place a night with me above the irrelevent crap that is filling the rest of her schedule, play hardball and see how she’s suddenly available tomorrow night.
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You call her up, and if she answers the phone, you tell her in adult-like voice that you don’t date flakes, and you have decided not to date her because she has cancelled on the last minute. This makes her validate herself to you. If you finally decide to give her one more chance, she has to make it up to you.
If she does not answer the phone, do not leave a message but just wait until she calls. Then you tell her the same thing. This has worked for me before. Got laid the first night, too.
I fall for another version of this test. One date told me beforehand about a date who got pissed after she cancelled the date at the last minute. She asked me how I would react. I was too beta at the time to know handle it.
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Given what R described in the scenario, the chances were fairly high that a flakeout could occur. But my text message leaves a door open. Best believe Mu won’t be holding his breath. That’s why multiple Ops are always in order.
*Never* sewat the small stuff.
Next…
Salaam
Mu
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Send her a multimedia text of a picture of your balls sack then text the words… “suck it”
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I would text nothing in reply.
If she is worth setting up another date with she will be concerned that you haven’t replied to her message. She will text or call to see you got it.
If she says nothing you got a spot free in the calendar and can get amongst it with someone else, thankful in the knowledge that you missed out on dating a prick tease.
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The correct answer is “No Respsonse.” She is expecting you to send her back something, but in turn, no response at all only makes her think about you more. Especially if she cut off the message on purpose. No response gets you another text later saying, “I never heard back from you. Are we good to go out on Sunday night for drinks?” I probably wouldn’t respond to that one until Sunday, telling her I can’t, but Tuesday will work for you.
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I would probably reply similar to Mu’Min (Virgle’s would be funny if you were already dating). However I read something by Roosh where he didn’t say anything when a girl cancelled and then she called up panicking at the last minute and said it turned out that she could make it after all.
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Agree with PA above: you do nothing. If she eventually texts back, that means she is already hooked and the rest should be easy. If she doesn’t, you can comfortably conclude that her text was a polite blowoff and thereby save yourself the trouble of looking pathetic. In a sense she’s done you a favor by creating a situation that will inevitably reduce the ambiguity of your initial encounter at no cost to you.
Besides, if she never writes back and you don’t either, she’s the one who is most likely to feel rejected when it’s all over.
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You do nothing in response. You’re too busy doing other cool things (or doing other women) to put any effort into it.
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Delete her number. If she wants you, she’ll re-engage of her own volition – contacting her won’t make her want you any more.
No response from you will make her worry that you’ve dropped her entirely, and elevate your perceived value. If she does eventually call, maintain an aloof air, not a *God, I thought I lost you* vibe.
When a girl does something disrespectful like that, it’s best to cut off all contact. By calling her, you’re saying that you don’t mind being treated like shit, as long as she’ll still talk to you. She may no longer want you, and this is her slimy way out.
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Clearly the best response is no response. It’s a text, so she knows you likely got it. It’s a day before, so she’ll know you read it. No response needed.
Wait until she calls again, give her shit for bailing on you, and you’re set. IF for some reason she doesn’t call again… get over it and move on (although hopefully you already did).
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i would text her the next week at some point saying i am going to this event (blah blah some sorta hippy crap she would love) and come hang out. go from there
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No they didn’t, because picking up women has nothing to do with being an alpha. I’m not sure what has caused PUAs to become so detached from reality that they think their juvenile mating rituals have any relevance in the real world. You don’t see me calling people betas because their WoW character isn’t as good as mine.
The whole thing sounds like a big headache. I don’t like text messages and I don’t like ambiguity. She should provide a precise timetable and not some vague bullshit like “later.” I guess I would call her and try to set up a new meeting.
Ideally I would not get into this kind of a situation at all. If I’m at a bar something has gone horribly wrong.
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I like the idea of responding “no worries” or something along those lines, but it does seem a bit beta to do that.
Her canceling the date after giving strong IOIs, and doing so through a lame excuse, was rather rude. Naturally, she probably doesn’t think so, and probably further assumes you’ll give a “no worries/no problem” answer. This would be a beta move because it lets her off the hook for her flakey behavior. If a woman is interested in you, her friend’s emotional needs will take a back seat to her interest in you.
So what do you do? Conventional wisdom says not to respond and leave her hanging. The problem is that her truncated text message was intended to leave YOU hanging, so there’s no real possibility of shifting things back to her by failing to respond.
Thus, you should follow the old adage the best defense is a good offense, and shoot her a text the next day (the day you were supposed to out on a date) saying “don’t call me. I’ll call you when I get back”.
This text sends a couple of signals: (1) you’re not going to wait around for her to call – you’ll do the calling (on your schedule); and (2) you’re going out of town to somewhere unknown. The latter will pique her interest because it raises the question/thought in her mind “we had a date, I canceled it with a lame excuse, and he already has other plans that take him out of town?” She will wonder where you are going, what you’ll be doing there, when you’ll be back, and most importantly, who you’ll be going with or seeing when there (i.e. another woman). She might even text you back, asking one or more of the foregoing questions. Don’t respond.
Give or take a week later, send her another text saying “I’m back. Call you later.” If she was truly interested (and sh!t testing you by canceling your date), your absence will have made her think of you constantly. Likewise, by simply announcing you’re back and saying you’ll call, you’re forcing her to again wait by the phone. When you finally do call her, tell her that you got back into town a couple of days ago. She’ll probably be wondering why you didn’t call her immediately when you got back. If she asks, just tell her you were busy with no further explanation. Before she has a chance to respond, ask her if she’s free the coming weekend (or pick a day that is a couple of days from your conversation). Assuming she’s interested in you, she won’t offer another lame excuse. To the contrary, she’ll likely jump at the chance to see you out of fear that you’ll disappear again, this time for good.
Game. Set. Match.
It should go without saying that you don’t have to actually go out of town, but you should avoid places where you might run into her to keep up the illusion that you did.
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text hmmm. If she feels guilty she’ll try and explain and qualify herself. If she realizes that it was a mistake she’ll clear up the misunderstanding.
I think there’s a danger to assume that every interaction is a deliberate power play or a test. There’s a paranoia that can really take the fun out of life. Her excuse is lame, but her text trailing off seems like an honest mistake. Don’t get bent out of shape about it.
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Funny, I went through this just this morning.
–Sent a bland, negging reply email as a response.
Got another email asking if I’m upset and wondering if I’m free on the weekend.
–I respond that we’ll arrange something later in about as many words.
Receive another email asking me when that will be.
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Text her back: “OK, no problem. Then meet me at the Hilton at 9 on Saturday, I will be giving a”
Don’t even specify which Hilton.
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…. “might not be a good idea to call tonight as I am at a charity event supporting women who have suffered from domestic violence. Something I feel strongly about. Lets hook up next week , this charity work takes up alot of my time. I am looking forward to some distractions, you maybe ? hope your friend is ok”
Now, does she think I am the sensitive side that she yearns, someone caring who supports victims of violence. Her over sensitive friend who at this point in times hates men and loves her sisters … she would also see what a nice guy I am.
I am that someone different, she can see that, something she didnt think of when she noticed my tough rough looks….
I wonder if she likes Phil Collins…?
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while maintaining radio silence is good, here is another route:
send a text the next day, after you’ve already had a good time.
“last night was awesome! too bad I have to break up with you for flaking”
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Now I just got an email asking me to say something nice.
How does orange ball-gag sound?
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Do nothing.
Quite likely, her attraction to you has dropped. She’s reconsidered, found someone more to her tastes, reconnected with some guy, or her friend doesn’t like you, whatever.
It’s simply not worth your time to bother.
One other possibility, she may think that most men are supposed to chase after her, it’s probably a given that most have and she may expect you to woo her. Of course the reality is that this expectation must be flipped.
It’s not a winning strategy to be one among many suitors. You probably in the modern urban dating environment need to play the numbers game. Which includes dropping active interest/pursuit of women who cancel (strong indicator of lack of interest). If she was really interested she’d have suggested an alternative date. She’s not, her priorities are her friend first, you pretty much last.
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Nothing. Don’t even call back.
A. If she’s telling the truth she’ll call back.
B. It’s a ruse anyway. Everyone knows hippy chicks don’t keep such tight schedules.
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OK. This is an IOD, regardless of value difference and apparent plausibility. An IOD is an IOD. Would her friends feelings make her cancel a date with Brad Pitt? Please.
The question then, is why the sudden IOD? Lack of comfort, surely. But here’s the curious rub – attraction has fizzled to muck AS WELL, she doesnt feel it anymore. This is the curious problem with phone numbers, you step over the line and in victory lose both attraction and the potential for comfort. So are you still in the attraction phase? Yes. You’re still playing A3 games. Comfort is impossible over the phone.
So you’re in A3, and she has given you a serious IOD. Bait-hook-reel-release. You baited, gave a ‘compliance test’ of sorts (a date request is a compliance test, a girl in high compliance will go on a date with you), and she failed the test. She didn’t hook. You must therefore repeat the process. The only response is to go straight to ‘release; by giving her an IOD, and then begin the process again. So IOD, then give as big a DHV as you can muster. If she responds with an IOI, give her another, maybe smaller compliance test in respect of a date… maybe even ‘throw it out there’ and bait her to request the date. Only in this way can the proper compliance momentum be built to get her to comply with a date, ie show up.
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” I’m not sure what you would like to make but I’ve heard that threesomes make it easier to get over your ex, so I guess I’d be open to that although I can’t promise I will show your friend as much as attention as I’ll show you.”
that should lock it up.
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I took the liberty of posting this scenario at Subchat to see what sort of answers I’d get. This one is the best yet:
You don’t call or text back, and instead dip into your wallet, pull out 2 crisp Franklins and go to Heidi’s House of Joy and get it on with Bubbles Chiffon. After that, pour yourself a tumbler of [your beverage here] and congratulate yourself on avoiding a chick-wreck. Any other plan is major chumpage yo, so just STFU and do it.
Peter
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This is, at tree-root, a problem of compliance momentum.
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This is a trick question. I would never have let her go. I would have said “Listen, you can follow your friend around to meet up with some lame guy and sit there while the two of them have fun, or you can hang out with me tonight and enjoy yourself”. This would have resulted in me getting laid that night. EOS
If you couldn’t pull her that night, you have to assume this is a classic switch. Same as if she told you she had a headache and couldn’t go out. She’s probably gettin busy with some other guy, which is why you should be out swooping other women. Forget about her, and remember, she was hippie-ish anyways and you’re not into that sort of thing anymore.
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Text: “Way to prioritize.”
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I give tokyojesusfist a grade of “Epic fail”
The majority of commentators are saying don’t reply at all. However I give a 50-50 chance she will ever text you again.
I’d much prefer to reply with a sexually toned email.
“2) “…babies? Sounds good, try me Sunday.” was a suggested comment.
I’d try to be more accusing of her though.
My reply: “babies? I’m not easy. You are going to need to wine and dine me first.”
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“You’re at a dive bar and a friend’s crappy band is playing.”
Don’t go to bars with crappy bands.
“She tells you that her friend wants to meet someone at another bar, so she’s going to go. She says this with an expectant look in her eyes.”
Here was the moment of truth. Grab her by the hand and jump in a cab for the restaurant you have on lock down two blocks from your crib.
Continue drinking.
Maybe go with a “split-bean close” or being that she is a hippy chick, a “chronic close”.
Swoop her and pass out.
– MPM
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Respond with “So, what are you going to do to make it up to me? It will have to be good”
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RagTag:
If assuming that the woman is a reasonable adult makes me an epic failure, then I’d hate to be an epic success.
If she’s interested in me then we should arrange another date. No vague bullshit, no stupid fucking games or cute text messages. Just set it up over the phone like two adults.
I see no reason for these things to be any more complicated than what’s necessary.
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You text back approximately 69 minutes after you receive her cancellation text (the subliminal suggestion will be priceless.. trust me on this one) with something like… “Sounds good, but where did we meet again?…. Just kidding, how about we” That’s it. It’s like you dropped off the earth without revealing what fantastic plan it is you came up with for the two of you to do. The result will be to leave her (a) frustrated, (b) ponderously confused and (c) yearning for more… all in that precise and slightly overlapping order.
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Text: “Really?”
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I decline to respond.
I call up one of my other flings and set something up for the night she canceled on.
When she invariably calls me to find out if I got the text, I fail to answer, and will call her myself after the time for the date has already passed. Probably a day or two after. More if I’m busy with work and/or just don’t fucking feel like it.
Given how painfully lame her change of plans attempt was, if I think she was genuinely trying to prevent her friends impending suicide after our conversation, I might open something up in the future. If not, I don’t bother to call her again and delete her number. If she doesn’t answer, I delete her number and ignore her calls in the future.
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hippie chick ===> suggest you have just the right drugs for her friend, and enough for her, too.
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Jesus_Lizard,
That is pretty legit.
I like the subliminals and the “technical glitch”.
Style points.
– MPM
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tokyo,
“If she’s interested in me then we should arrange another date. No vague bullshit, no stupid fucking games or cute text messages. Just set it up over the phone like two adults.”
I like your straightforward attitude.
But seriously, where do you live?
Mayberry?
– MPM
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Ignore the message.
If she tries to contact you to reschedule then tell her you are busy with some other girl, but leave it open for her to call you again sometime at which point you seal the deal.
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“I would have said “Listen, you can follow your friend around to meet up with some lame guy and sit there while the two of them have fun, or you can hang out with me tonight and enjoy yourself”. This would have resulted in me getting laid that night.”
Yeah, right.
If you think you can turn a woman against her friend just like that after a whopping 5 minutes of semi-lame PUA small talk, you known nothing about women.
The key to mentally inserting yourself between a woman and her cockblocking friend is stealth, not passive-aggressive insults.
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An IOD? She’s Iraqi now?
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First things first, NEVER LEAVE A VOICEMAIL. In the hands of a female, voice-mail is a weapon. Send a brief text instead. Something along the lines of “it’s Massively Hung Alpha-Male, call me”.
But to answer the question
I would’ve sent a reply (after about 20 minutes) that read:
and there you have it…
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I’m seeing more betas here than the 2’nd day of Greek language class.
A THOUGHT:
My general philosophy is to forget about chicks that are too flaky. In fact, I would have established potential flakiness while I was setting up the date. “1-10. 1 being not likely to flake, 10 being likely to flake where do you stand? Because anything more than 2 and I just can’t see us dating” Something to that effect — but I digress. It’s a moot issue in the scenario you’ve given us.
Don’t just say nothing because that leaves a soft implication of compliance in this situation. It would be VERY beta here. She speaks and the world complies or scurries away? I don’t think so.
MY ONE WORD ANSWER:
Just respond with this one word. “Yes?” or maybe “…Yes?” She WILL respond to that. Don’t try to be cute or clever in an attempt to be original or win her approval, and don’t respond to anything else she sends that night. If she calls you later in the week go from there. Let her know you’re less interested in your voice tone and body language.
This one word conveys everything you need. It’s real because you didn’t get the rest of the message, and it establishes you as not being needy of her attention.
Don’t send verbose text messages. They mean nothing. I’ve learned this the hard way. Be simple and direct.
“Yes?”
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You text a few hours later and say “You’re divorced!! Just kidding. That works out great , there’s xyz (make it sound like a big deal) and i was going to tell you I couldn’t make it. We’ll do something another day”
If you make plans again, text a few days before to say something better came up.
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You send nothing back and promptly move on to another girl who number you closed recently.
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It’s an Improvised Explosive Device (IED), not IOD, boru.
I’m also with Will on the forgetting about chicks that flakes, as you can see from my response. They are more of a pain in the ass than anything else, and waste time you could be spending chasing more interesting tail.
If someone flakes on me the first time, that’s usually the kiss of death. After that, I’ll occasionally give a freebie for a really good excuse, but people who make even a semi-habit of flaking on me get thrown overboard with extreme prejudice.
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Text nothing, or text: “That works great for me. I’m going out with a friend that night to celebrate his dumping of some loser chick.”
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Tomorrow I will post a selection of answers from the readers and judge them accordingly. Then I will tell you what I did.
Could you spare us just this one time?
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“Don’t just say nothing because that leaves a soft implication of compliance in this situation. It would be VERY beta here. She speaks and the world complies or scurries away? I don’t think so.”
There’s neither compliance nor scurrying by not responding. She left a cut off text. If she cares, she’ll research the reason you didn’t respond. She’ll check to see if her text sent correctly, and then she’ll notice it was truncated.
If she doesn’t care about seeing you in the future, then getting in one last shot is the beta move and a waste your time.
Also, if she’s shit-testing you by sending a cut-off message a.) you call her on her shit and tell her you don’t have time for her b.) not responding to her shit-test cut-off text will work in your favor.
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Wait a few days then send her a message to the effect:”Hey,you missed out on a really great after dinner orgy.You shoulda been there,the action was awesome.Maybe next time.”Delivered in a straight dead-pan manner.No smiley faces or “lols”.
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Option A: Do nothing. Radio silence. If she re-initiates contact, you may proceed.
Option B: Send the following text: “Don’t forget to take your friend a nice big piece of cake.”
I’d go for option B.
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Truth be told, if you really want to keep chasing her, I would wait a conspicuously long time and then send back a very brief neg.
However, I’d just fail to respond. Why? Because that lame of a flake-out attempt would cause me to disqualify someone. I mean, get real.
“Hey – a friend of mine is going through a break up and needs to talk tomorrow night.”
That’s so lame it’s just fucking insulting. Don’t waste my fucking time.
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Forget her. Drive on.
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id probably tell her to shit or get off the pot.
its bad enuff that i wont get to see her that week, but the MESSAGE GETS CUT OFF??? and theres seven days in the week, she cant set aside an hour for me? no, no, that shit aint happening
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Hmm. This story sounds awfully familiar. 🙂
BTW That pickup was the perfect example of the stuff that Paul Janka has been teaching up in NYC.
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Don’t respond. Hippie-ish type chicks are into musicians, big time. Your game may create some initial attraction but she’s longing to hook up with the dirtbag guitarist unacquainted with hygiene so she can limp around with a UTI on top of her Hepatitis C.
In my experience, if you don’t move to rapport on a city girl you might as well consider it just a number close and most number closes result in absolutely nothing. Even waiting the standard two days to call back is too long sometimes.
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she´s got complicated friends or is complicated herself. She is hippie-ish, anyway. The girlfriend´s break up stuff is probably true, specially after she left the bar where your friends were playing. And the complicated friends will most probably try to cockblock you.
text her “nice girl. got points for helping your friend and an extra one for the reticences” in the same day you received the message, couple hours later. She´ll show it for her girlfriend and make it harder for the girlfriend to cockblock you. Actually, the only part the cockblocker can act upon is the “reticences”, the very opening the girl gave to you, so the cockblocker can only attack you through her friend´s slutty opening. If the girl friend is not a cockblocker, so much better. if the girl answers you, either through another message or by calling, then you got her. If she doesn´t, then call her anyway someday in her “crazy week”, ignoring the “crazy” BS, and try to schedule another date. If she flakes again, it is game over for you
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“I’m being sentenced Monday morning so it’s literally now or never”
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I don’t know anyone that goes back through, and looks at texts or see who replied to what. If they go through, they go through. If they don’t, they don’t. Texting should only be reserved for casual pings and quick replies. I think this is the alpha position.
I can also guarantee that women of worth don’t go shuffling through, ‘researching’ their text’s — unless of course major rapport/attraction has been established. Which isn’t the case here.
If she’s going to cancel, no matter how lame the excuse, it should, at the absolute least, be done over the phone. That didn’t happen here. Here, a quick one word text that conveys that you’re know what’s going on and that you aren’t amused is the thing to do here.
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Ignore the flake. Or if you’re feeling silly, respond to someone else’s text to her, like, “geez, I hardly got any sleep last night: I’m a wreck.” That once worked by accident for me, though I really didn’t want it to. I hate texts anyway.
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Will:
What the fuck does that even mean?
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“I like your straightforward attitude.
But seriously, where do you live?
Mayberry?”
He lives in the world of grownups.
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It means you are the first letter in the Greek alphabet, you plebe.
Duh.
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Her appearance, together with her ambivalence, suggests she may very well be bi, in which case I wouldn’t be interested.
Hippie chicks in 1970 tended to be straight, and free-love fiends at that. Hippie chicks in 2009 with weird braids in their hair and strange clothes are probably bisexual or latent lesbos.
Maybe she sees an opening to “console” her friend…
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I applaud the sentiment behind the comments urging just to cut and delete, but attractive women are flakey, a fact of life that should be accepted without bitterness. A girl who flakes may not be gf material, but if you restrict yourself to gf-screening at the pre-sex stage, you will rarely get laid unless your gf standards are low. And you will be too excited when you do. Like some commenter above, I have found success with this: “Hmmm…not good. You will have to make this up to me. You will give me a shoulder massage when you see me, so limber up those hands.” Disapproval and dominance; effective. Plus instant kino if you end up going out with her.
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“He lives in the world of grownups.”
Sounds like a crappy place.
I hope I never end up there.
Are there topless models there on the beach?
– MPM
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“Sounds like a crappy place.
I hope I never end up there.”
You’re safe on that score.
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No response needed. Delete number. Before her text cut off, she said she will call later. If she calls, clue her about flaking. If she doesnt, good riddance.
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Will:
There is some rapport built here. She initiated everything.
“I can also guarantee that women of worth don’t go shuffling through, ‘researching’ their text’s”
-So a worthy woman is above being concerned with your lack of response? If she’s worthy to me, she had better research her texts to figure out why I didn’t text back.
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Roissy, you’re funny as hell, but sometimes I think that you’re just trolling for a little advice from your readers about situations in your own life.
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Bateman – domestic violence charity??? are you serious??
Will – help me here. “Yes?” I don’t get it.
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“Fine”
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Keith, you’ve made my day, lol
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Roissy
Can you just fuck sara already? She’s begging for it. I mean it.
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You lose nothing by not responding, and can only cause harm by responding. This should really always be your fall back attitude when in doubt, or really in any situation. She said she would call later, why are you trying to continue the conversation? If she calls/texts in the future, you can decide how you want to proceed at the point, depending on when and how she does, but otherwise you have several other options big guy.
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A hippie chick only manages to give me a chubby, another notch on a night where you couldn’t scratch up a solid 8. Given Rossiy’s senario this girl already has you pegged at an equal to or higher social value based on the eye contact and moving in closer to bait your approach. She is with a downer chick which no hot chick with a perceived high social value would suffer for very long on a night out. And finally Roissy seems to be softly teasing rather than being a rock hard bastard like he would with a Russian femme fatale.
Not only did this girl give up her name and number… She looked at the phone and got your number so she could text you mere mins after you last spoke to suck up. And if all that wasn’t enough she sends you a text letting you know she was going to flake. She wants the cock.
I disagree with Will here. A girl that has gone through all this with you is not going to mess up a text message and not notice it. We are not dealing with your buddy sending you a poker invite and got distracted this was a manipulative move to test you. Even if it was an honest mistake the writing is on the wall. She has placed you at a higher value throwing one shit test on you before she will let her Vaj juice get going.
You do nothing.
If it was a test she will call as soon as she knows you could care less and be on your cod at your next meeting
If it was a mistake she will wonder why you didn’t say anything back and check even a super hot girl would want to see why you weren’t heart broken at her flake.
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Her friend’s going through a terrible break-up and needs to talk to her TOMORROW night? Bullshit. If her friend needs to urgently talk about her emotional trauma, then she needs to do it tonight, or if that’s totally impossible at lunch or coffee tomorrow, not tomorrow night. That’s way too late. She’s just–rightly–regretting ever giving her number to skeezy you.
If she’d called the day of saying she needed to talk to her friend tonight, though, that’s different, and you should give her some benefit of the doubt. Girls who selflessly take care of their friends in their time of need, giving up something they want to do in order to help those friends, are kind and considerate women who will be similarly good to their boyfriends. Girls who blow off their established friends in times of need for a date with a dubious guy they’ve met once will similarly bail on you the moment something new appears. Of course, this is irrelevant if you’re only looking to get your rocks off, in which case it’s better for all concerned that you decide to blow her off, because you’re a skeezy loser and she deserves better.
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If I were to even text back, which I probably wouldn’t:
“Cutting off texts? It’s cute that you’re trying to be mysterious. That’s my job, hon.”
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Call her. Tell her to hand the phone to the nearest person.
Tell that person, when they get on the phone, to punch her in the ovaries.
Hang up.
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comments should have been closed after the 1st response
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Everyone on the board, so far, rags on the hippie chick because she seems to have flaked and chose her friend. I assume that her friend is in need. Being there for her friend is a good sign, not a bad one. It shows loyalty, which is hard to come by. After all, she went out with that sad sack of shit of a girlfriend when our young Roissy met her. Maybe she likes to be the shoulder to cry on in her friendships.
Plus, this girl met us for five minutes and talked on the phone for ten. She hasn’t even felt the wonderous glory of our throbbing cock, why should we expect her to drop her life? If she pulled this shit after we went out, THEN all bets are off.
If she was going to flake she would either a) not have called back b) not have told us she couldn’t make the date and forgotten about it or c) not have texted at all, therefore she is either a) testing us or b) genuinely helping a friend while also being retarded enough to send a shortened text.
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appreciated post.
no bitch gets control (or uppity); that means giving her the call power
…………..
(20 mins after her last text)
“no plans for next tuesday, yet. we can rendezvous then or cancel”
…………..
*this may be the last text… bad idea… but i am implying a response from her
**could ask a question to prompt a response, “no plans for next tuesday, yet. meet up then?, if not we can cancel” but questions are beta
date number close, how long to talk?
bar –> number close –> same night fuck close, how long to talk (difference in pre-number talking time?)? bounces probably useful here
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but her text trailing off seems like an honest mistake.
Not a chance — girls are glued to their cellphones, and recognize right away if they screwed something up (other than a minor typo). If my chick friends leave off part of a word, or part of a sentence, they instantly send another text to finish it up.
Could be a deliberate shit-test or laziness to fix it due to lack of interest.
I’d probably just unplug and move on, unless she was super-cute. Flaking by them is expected, but if she’s only OK, don’t reward her.
If you do text something back, I wouldn’t go for “I’m disappointed” since it sounds like you’re too emotionally affected — “that’s disappointing” is better. Obviously it means the same thing — you are disappointed — but it’s emotionally distant.
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text her back:” I cut my balls while shaving them,I’ll be laid up for a few days. Call me!”
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It shifted onto “too much work” with that message, that original hot glow has cooled off. Drop her from your list, and just see if she calls.
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Thinking like a hippy, you might have said “I came with friends and don’t have transportation.” Once she accepts you in her car she’s pretty much committed and all you have to do is not fuck it up. And if not you can still get a number. This might not work in a city with good mass transit though.
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just send her a picture of your penis.
if she doesnt respond or gets all pissed off, who cares.
if she responds favorably, everyone’s a winner.
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Immediately text back “Don’t worry about your girlfriend. Just come out with us.” The cover story is that you’ve been texting back and forth with a friend, and just hit back automatically when the text came in without reading it, hence the “us.” But the first part will–hopefully–get her to fantasize about ditching her friend.
A few minutes later (or after her confused reply) you say that you’re sorry for the misdirected text, but come to think of it, how does she feel about putting her friend to bed early and coming out?
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hippie-ish?
Nothing, unless she’s calling with an apology and an offer to make it up to me.
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Beta mistake #1:
-Passive disinterest kills attraction. Don’t assume that by not texting back, you have some sort of moral victory. Giving up is fine, but it is giving up, something to accept and move on, not something to celebrate. Saying you have 10 other girls lined up for that night doesn’t justify it; why not have 11? You bailed; you were afraid. You lose.
#2
-Trying WAY too hard. All of these texts that try to introduce something funny or teasing are useless; you’re rewarding her for a flake. Fucking dancing monkeys.
#3
-Accepting the IOD with “no prob.” These are words of forgiveness. Why are you forgiving her? Did she hurt you when she canceled? Are you that weak?
The winners here:
Jay’s: “Yeah, I’ll call you when I get back”
or just, “Sounds fun” or “K, good luck”
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Player wit will probably make some clever neg out of her half-text building her guilt up even more and guaranteeing a response.
I’ll plod.
To show the difference between an alpha and a beta who can read, I would cunningly copy something already talked about in another thread.
Take-Away
Simply text that you are okay with the cancel, can reschedule same place at X time, or we can cancel.
Should be at least 2-3 days from now.
She may very well be busy that night and the next… but she isn’t REALLY comforting her girlfriend 24/7 for days on end. Make her dump some garbage for you. If she isn’t willing to do that, then time to walk off.
Is this optimal? Probably not, but it is simple, and covers things well.
If she feels genuinely guilty, then she WILL accept the reschedule.
If this is a test, then the ‘or we can cancel’ shows lack of need. Even if it ISN’T a test, you can never go wrong showing your lack of neediness.
However, I would like to say pushing things same day is a bad idea here, because you don’t want to make her mind think she is choosing between her friend or you.
However, this canned response works just fine and will pass the test… even without grace.
The girlfriend is probably not going to be happy with her getting a new relationship while girlfriend is miserable….
so you do kind of have a super-cockblocking situation that needs to be dealt with.
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“The winners here:
Jay’s: “Yeah, I’ll call you when I get back””
OK. And then what?
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My text: “Fuck no, :D”
The rudeness combined with a smiley makes it ambivalent.
It doesn’t make it clear exactly *what* I am objecting to.
The brevity of the response shows I don’t really care that much.
It avoids the whole “ok, can I see you at X” where I am asking something from her and putting myself in a needy frame.
If she’s beyond hope it’s a nice way to end contact.
If she’s just testing me, I make it very clear I am not going to let her call the shots as well as putting the ball back in her court.
It escalates the emotions of the exchange and forces her to respond with something that’s not lukewarm and polite. Anger, flirting, defensiveness and sadness are all responses I see as an improvement.
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“Saying you have 10 other girls lined up for that night doesn’t justify it; why not have 11?”
Standards.
I find a pretty large majority of women not to be worth any of my time; I’d rather never deal with them than make the effort to get them in the sack.
Then again, I don’t pick up chicks at bars (or even go to bars much) either, so I self-select away from a lot of them to begin with.
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My thing is:
if you must cancel, RESCHEDULE.
She didn’t resched, she just kept it in the air – she’s an asshole, let’s face it.
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I wouldn’t respond. I’d call up another girl to fill that slot in my schedule or just go gaming that night instead.
If she calls back, I’d let her know I don’t have time to waste on flakes. My time is too valuable to give to people who are going to throw it away. If that doesn’t get her to straighten up then she doesn’t deserve the privilege of choking on my semen anyway.
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“Flashman
“Hmmm…not good. You will have to make this up to me. You will give me a shoulder massage when you see me, so limber up those hands.” Disapproval and dominance; effective. Plus instant kino if you end up going out with her.”
In my opinion this is far and away the best answer yet. Why? Flaking, by definition, is the act of bailing without letting someone know beforehand. A person who flakes just doesn’t show up. This girl actually texted beforehand that she couldn’t make it, which isn’t flaking. So there are two possibilities. Either A) she’s attracted to you but she’s nervous about meeting with you again, and she needs to be reeled in a little more, or B) she’s not interested at all. All her actions up to the last text suggest that B is not the answer. You only had ten minutes to talk to her, which isn’t a lot of time to build attraction and rapport, so you need to work on her a little more. Flashman’s response gives her the benefit of the doubt about her friend, lets her know you’re not a pushover, and gives her another opportunity to show interest. If she doesn’t respond, then you forget her. Either way, you approached the situation from a position of strength and class, so you lost nothing.
Let’s be clear: Alpha does not equal asshole
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Actually, we — everyone who is saying move on — are assuming that the context is poon-a-plenty. If so, yes, delete her number and move on.
But when you flip a coin 10,000 or a million times, by chance alone you’ll get a run of 8 or 10 heads every now and then. Everyone goes through a shit spell due only to bad luck.
So sometimes you do have to respond to someone you normally wouldn’t, while not sounding like you’re down on your luck. Let’s assume that this is the background, since otherwise this chick doesn’t sound very worthy.
“That’s disappointing. We can meet on [whatever day], same time, same place. If that doesn’t work for you, we can cancel.”
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Cannon’s Canon
“I’m being sentenced Monday morning so it’s literally now or never”
I’m giving this two thumbs up.
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Easy answer: No reply — like the Beatles song.
After all, this is not someone you knew even remotely well. This is not someone who you even know from online or via work.
This is just a random girl, and the post says she’s cute, not goegeous. Who cares? Let it go. Walk down to CVS or go to the Mall that minute and your bound to find 50 chicks hotter.
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There are 2 responses I’ve thought of:
1. Do not reply. If she texts, ignore it. Only a phone call apology will do, and she must come to the original date. And she pays, to make up for her rudeness.
2. Text her: “Flake. Rude.” Text her about 2 hours after her text. Again, ignore all future texts. Only a phone call apology will do, and you keep the original date, with her paying.
The first one has worked for me in real life. The second one I believe is more Roissy. It hits her emotionally, by exposing her as socially deficient.
No woman wants to be called rude because they pride themselves on being more socially sophisticated than men. Of course they aren’t, but they think they are, and pop culture reinforces that notion in the Sitcom Mom and Sitcom Dad. If a man calls her rude, she’s been knocked down twice: first, because she thinks she’s a nice person, and second because a man judges her below him on the politeness scale.
Women also dread being called a flake, because they also see themselves as socially competent people who can juggle their hectic lives successfully. When called a flake, it exposes her insecurity that her life is a fraud and unmeaningful, which is easy to do, considering her belief that a city life of partying and/or career is fulfilling without a man or family stems from feminism, whose illogic is as plain as the wrinkles that will one day crevice her crown.
Plus women have a notion in their mind that a flake is a ditzy blond with no intelligence or class; she certainly doesn’t want to be that. She needs to validate he
Being called on the carpet for both is a double whammy she’s not expecting but richly deserves. She needs to validate her self-delusion as a competent, nice, polite person; the only way to do so is for her to not break the date (she’s then not a flake) and pay for dinner/drinks (to make up for her rudeness).
Oh, and she really is flaking. No girl schedules a time to make a friend feel better—if the friend needed it, she’d be there tonight. And no woman’s schedule is that hectic.
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This one’s easy. Like this:
“Okay that’s fine! Anytime you can meet is fine, my schedule is wide open!
I’m just so lonely….”
If she doesn’t respond, keep sending her texts and calling her. Be sure to become emotional and cry a lot. Tell her that she is the best thing that ever happened to you and that you love her.
60% of the time, it works every time.
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Flaking on the possibility of free love with a stranger?
Bad hippy! No patchouli!
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this exact thing happened to me last week.
original thread:
her: “have to pick sister up at ferry…[blah blah]”
el chief: “gay. you’re buying if we meet up again”
her: “ok, sorry, yada”
five days later:
el chief: “Dear Flakey McGee. Guess what Monday is?”
her: “January 5th?”
el chief: “It’s international buy el chief a beer day. You in?”
her: “ok”
i got a re-date, she bought the beer, and we made out. she said she wants to see me again. she is also bi.
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@miamiyeahh
“60% of the time, it works every time.”
That doesn’t make any sense…
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Depends on what you want. If you wanna just nail her, text her back with some version of, okay call me when you’re free or don’t contact her- since you don’t care about her, just let her be needy and clingy and jump onto your dick.
If you think she’s really cute and nice, respond with a voicemail about how she should call you when her schedule opens up. That’s the nice, trusting considerate thing to do, which would be the only response a girl with self esteem would think is acceptable.
A Nice Girl
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Reply back: your shit
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This is an excellent problem.
First, let’s get this out of the way: She is a basket case. No doubt about it. So her friend got dumped? It’s not like her mom – or even her cat – died. Plus, if her friend got dumped today, why wait until tomorrow night to meet with her? And the rest of her week is crazy? Make time, bitch. The whole thing is fishy.
She’s either blowing you off or shit-testing you. She might feel insecure about meeting a guy out that she had only spoken to for 5 minutes. Maybe she feels like she’s being too easy.
So you can do one of two things: Wait for her next text so that you can ignore her; or work game.
If you ignore her, what do you win? Nothing. You could say that you keep your self-confidence, but simply blowing someone off who blew you off first is a false ego booster. There is no pride in taking your ball and going home.
So we need to get her interested. And there is a way. I would text back: “Bring your friend out. It’s not like you were going to have me all to yourself, anyway.”
That communicates to her that she isn’t so special that you were going to drool over her. But it’s not passive-aggressive.
You’re saying, “Fuck it. The more, the merrier.” This makes her seem less important. Plus, it’s not over-the-top.
Saying, “Bring her out, we can have a 3some” is creepy. Just letting her blow you off is too beta. Inviting her out while making it clear that you weren’t going on a date with her in the first place informs her that you’re in charge.
Plus, even if she says no, it doesn’t matter. You’ve already won by letting her know that she wasn’t that special in the first place.
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I would toss out the ‘total misinterpretation of dialogue attack’
I would text back saying, “oh yeah that’s great, BUT I’m -insert barely realistic activity-“
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What do you do about what?
– Next (yawn).
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Hey Roissy…
Seems you are sitting out the comments on this one, as you said you would. But I’m really curious… did your blog get a huge bounce in hits this week or something? Or perhaps you’re getting (disapprovingly) linked at some feminist, emo, or SWPL site?
There seem to be an abnormally high proportion of beta-bitch-boy trolls lately. Not that it’s not amusing to read their floppy-wristed attempts to bolster their own sex-starved egos with the old “oh, I’m just more ‘adult’ than you” bathos … but i’m just curious.
PS: I vote for John F.’s “fuck no,” but minus the smiley; also like bds’s “Flake. Rude.”
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I agree with daniel. What’s goin’ on dude?
and please bed sara once and for all, for the sake of your readers
she’s beggin for attention.
we can’t take it anymore
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I would say:
Goddamn you Mrs. G, you said this would stop!
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I’d text her the next time I went out to a bar with my friends and invite her to meet me there.
If she doesn’t come, I’d delete her number. If she does come, I’d show her very little attention and hit on other women in front of her.
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Hi Roissy,
this is probably off-topic but keep this in mind…
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/11/29/number-one-asset/
…since you’re dealing with a “hippie-ish chick”. Let’s just hope she has showers more often. Eek. Hippies sucios.
besos.
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One word reply: “whatever”
Is there any way to text a yawn?
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Maria, me puedes probar que hablas espanol de veras? Me inclina de no creerle porque algunas veces escribes cosas que no tienen razon o contienen una gramatica bien rara.
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Either she’s telling the truth or she got cold feet. Maybe she found your blog. Maybe she sensed the player vibe.
If she’s telling the truth you run the risk of alienating her with a humorous or negative reply. If she pulled back in a feeble attempt to avoid being your next pump and dump she purposely left the door open for you to reassure her that her fears are unfounded.
Assuming that your goal IS to pump and dump, the best response would be something vague, “I’m disappointed but I understand, good luck with your friend!” within 15 minutes of receiving her message. If you linger too long before responding it will become obvious that you were ruminating. A vague response like the example given is a good middle ground when you’re not sure which shit test she’s throwing your way.
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Text: “Break ups can suck. I’ll be at the Gibson with my friends from that band we saw the other night. You guys can tag along if she’s up for it.”
If they come out, get one of your friends to cheer the friend up while you focus on the hippi-ish chick.
If they don’t, fuck it.
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The blogosphere’s sudden barfing up of Gen X whiners onto the floor of this blog is due to a link from jezebel.com:
http://jezebel.com/5124454/highly-evolved-he+man-schools-world-about-sluts
Subtitle: “Celebrity, Sex, Fashion for Women”
I.e., the club for worn-out skanks who no longer get treated like they have a golden vagina.
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This is definitely a text that says “I need an excuse that he can’t be a dick about” whether or not it’s true. The “rest of the week is crazy” is just a stupid shit test, and now she sounds annoying.
I’d go with, “I’ve got lots of plans over the next couple weeks. Change your plans with your friend to lunch, and I’ll see you at 8 tomorrow.”
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“perfect, actually. i was going to cancel, i’ve got a that day. if you’re still interested in a couple weeks, give me a call. well, maybe. i try not to talk to people who don’t use full sentences. it makes me feel old.”
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**i’ve got a (save the puppies marathon; tree-planting road trip; unicef fundraiser orgy)
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Joe T.
no creo…he hablado en español o portugues acá??…where? which line was wrong?
wasn’t I just writing “besos”?
or…the mistakes in english, you mean? ahh, se sí, feel free to correct me.
besos.
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The jezebel.com post and comments are pretty funny, if unintentionally. Where’s that razor wit that, we are always assured, women wield more skillfully than men?
Nah, just a bunch of sarcasm, scare-quoting, and sailor-mouthery. It’s like someone cloned Daria from MTV and made her 150 lbs heavier, deflated her breasts and ass, and scratched a thousand wrinkles across her face.
It’s no wonder that, as one of the frank commenter admitted, “I hate men!”
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no, lo siento –
“hippies sucios” o “hippies son sucios”…
I get it now…
Maria – i just thought you were frontin’ as a few peeps on here do…
sorry!
(PS – your name seems so stereotypical – a latina named Maria – how original! Just kidding! 🙂
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your name seems so stereotypical – a latina named Maria – how original! Just kidding!
love is in the lair.
you kids!
It’s like someone cloned Daria from MTV and made her 150 lbs heavier, deflated her breasts and ass, and scratched a thousand wrinkles across her face.
and that kid went ha haaw!
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si te puedo pruebar q hablo español, no lo sé
pero…te puedo pruebar que no hablo en ingles jajaj
pero…creo que ya lo sabes.
sí, te lo pruebo. prue-bo.
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What’s really scary is that jezebel blog probably has a huge following and is probably commercially successful.
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Joey
My real name is not Maria, indeed.
But I’m from a latin country (Brasil) and I have Spanish ancestry, hence I speak spanish…ahm, a little.
besos
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Maria – your diacriticals give you street cred.
Mantengalo en lo verdadero, hermana!
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Maria – falo portugues mais ou menos, me gusta Caetano Veloso, Jobim, y Pele… Lula e o Brasil entero!
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Roissy, I’m sorry for screwing your blog. I shouldn’t. But I Did. I promise I’ll stop, just let me adjust a few things in his portuguese and I won’t change the subject ever again. Please don’t qualify me as a whore for that. =)
God bless you.
Joey T.
me gusta – español. Say “eu gosto de” for a portuguese sentence. “eu gosto de sol, de samba, de praia, de carnaval e futebol”
Jobim – ótimo.
Pelé – O rei.
Lula – retarded. (But it’s ok if you like him)
Caetano – gay. Listen to Chico Buarque. And Maria Betania. And Maria Rita. And Lenine.
besos
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Hey Roissy, here’s something for you: sixty years old and still a nice GNP.
Peter
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What’s really scary is that jezebel blog probably has a huge following and is probably commercially successful.
It’s super successful.
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Maria – obrigado!
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Lula has a cool beard – looks like an alpha.
Didn’t know Veloso was gay but it makes sense…
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The way I see it there are two things that led to the predicament your currently in.
1) Your lack of comfort on the first night you met; even though you claim this wasn’t your fault. You have no connection with her; you’re just another ‘fun flirty guy’ she met at the bar. Your currently possess no characteristic distinguishing from other male suitors that might have approached her even if you have better than average attraction game.
2) Setting up the date straight away. Your hungry dick let you down here I’m afraid. The first time calling is to get her used to the idea of talking to you on the phone. Here you should have used to this to catch up on comfort after a brief spell of attraction. Basically lack of comfort is killing you right now i.e she’s not comfortable with you yet, a girl is not going out on a date with you based on attraction alone especially on the phone were its easy to blow you off. Again on the phone you went with “fun and flirty” instead of rapport/comfort.
As for the text there are red flags everywhere:
“Hey – a friend of mine is going through a break up and needs to talk tomorrow night.”
I don’t care what anyone says this is complete bullshit and I’m not going in to why it is because it should be obvious
“The rest of my week is crazy. I’ll give you a call later on and we’ll make…”
“rest of my week is crazy” yeah sure it is ha!
What do you do?
This girl does not see you as a priority therefore you must respond in kind. Pursue other viable targets and write her off your hit list. Run disqualification and push and pull game on her while expecting nothing from your efforts. That’s what I would do. This pick up fucked for one major reason – comfort!
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agnostic:
ah, thank you very much sir. that makes a lot of sense.
i understand the women fighting their rearguard action at roissy… he’s found them out. what makes me want to puke is the “men.”
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JUST A FEW SIMPLE STEPS IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING…
STEP 1: THE HUNT
Use a reverse phonebook site to find her home address. If this doesn’t work for mobiles, you can use a site to find her provider, and then call them, posing as her. (I’m not sure if this will matter, but it might be a good idea to get your sister to help you out in case they’re high on security.) Tell them you haven’t been getting your bill statements and you want to confirm your mailing address.
STEP 2: CLOSING IN ON YOUR PREY
Drive to her residence, but park a few blocks away. Do NOT park in a parking garage because they will often have cameras and possibly a method of recording your payment method, license plate number, or other personal information. Walk to her home, but don’t knock yet. Slink around the side and do some scouting. Take a quick glance in the window. You’ll probably see her streaming The City premiere on her home computer, watching Whitney’s latest boy drama. The light inside the room, and glow from the screen keeps you from being noticed in the unlit night. That bitch. How could she do this? You thought you really connected, and now this selfish slut is lying around in her PJs instead of going out with you. You feel more hurt than anything else. Close your eyes and count to ten. Don’t cry. Alpha male. You really just want her to know how she made you feel. You just want to talk to her and tell her, and then leave. Just to put her in her place. Walk the perimeter of the house and check for signs of roommates or friends.
STEP 3: THE POUNCE
If she’s alone, the next step is to get inside the house. Come up with a story. It doesn’t need to be that believable it just has to work for a few seconds to get her to let you in. Maybe it can be a random coincidence and you just need to use her phone. Maybe you ran into her friend a few hours ago and she invited you here but had to get something out of her car. It can be any number of sad transparent excuses. Just enough to get her to let you in and ask a few questions. When she does it’s time to cut to the chase. What the hell are you doing? Where’s your friend who you were supposed to be comforting? Did you make that up? Are you fucking lying to me?How is this supposed to work if we’re not honest with each other? She’ll start getting scared and ask when her friend is coming back. You tell her you just made that up, it’s just you and her, nobody is coming. She’s really scared now, you can read it on her. Don’t let the tears come. Alpha male, remember? Alpha male. She wants you to leave, she’s moving so there’s furniture between the two of you. As if her crappy Ikea coffee table is going to stop you. You’re scared she’ll run away before you can explain, but then that whore screams. Someone’s going to hear, and they won’t understand. You hit her and her head goes into the corner of that cheap Swedish table. There’s blood. She’s still moving, but just barely. It was an accicent. But is she going to think so? Go outside and run the few blocks to your car. Take out the small calibre handgun you bought from a beard in a southern state. Duck tape on the homemade silencer you made from hollow plastic tubing and fibre glass. Return and empty a round into your “date’s” head. Pick up the shell, scrape down the barrel of the gun, take it apart drop the pieces into various sewer grates and dumpsters throughout the city. Do the same with the silencer, but first put it in a plastic bag, and crush it with your foot. If for some reason you don’t have a handgun and silencer, or you forgot to put it back in your car since the last time you cleaned it, your best bet is to strangle her. Preferably with a pillow is she’s weak enough, because you want as little contact with the body as possibly. Unlike a few minutes ago. Zing!
STEP 4: CLEANING UP THE LEFTOVERS
Some schools of thought would say you should move the body. Since you barely knew each other and you’ve been covering your tracks fairly well so far, I would argue against it. If you have to, I would suggest cutting up the body there, since there are already traces of blood in the house. Package it tightly with any industrial bagging she might have and put it in your trunk before you drop it. It is ideal that you do this part in one trip.
Your clothes will also have to go. Clean them and then put them in an annonymous dropbox for a thrift store that is close to the urban centre of your city. Obviously take a shower at a public pool with dishsoap. Clean under your finger nails.
STEP 4: RELISHING YOUR CATCH
Some people like to take trophies. I just write their names on a card and three things that attracted me to them. If you have to take skin or hair, make sure it’s kept somewhere out of sight. This is the ruin of a lot of people. So tread carefully.
Anyway, Roissy, I’m sure this isn’t what you did exactly, since we all have are subtle variations. I think it’s pretty alpha. You score with this approach 5% of the time guaranteed!
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^ That was my post
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I’d cancel all my plans for the week and wait patiently for her to call
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Nic:
My nomination for COTM.
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She’s just getting cold feet because she has a boyfriend.
Offer her a plausibly deniable chance to meet up again if you care. Preferably during lunch when she’s working or something like that.
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ask her for a brunch date over bagels:)
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Re: Chuck
>>“The winners here:
>>Jay’s: “Yeah, I’ll call you when I get back””
>OK. And then what?
Call her. Sunday evening. And have actually gone somewhere and done something interesting.
I’m going snowboarding this weekend; want to come?
PS. a kind of random quiz among female acquaintances shows they do most of their weekend planning Wednesday night. Forget the 3 day rule; call or text Wednesday night.
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Go fuck ten other women.
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Wow. Jezebel found Roissy. Jezebel can be very funny. Also gives a good perspective of how SWPL women view the world.
I keep leaning towards today’s incarnation of feminism being nothing more than a tool in the arms race that is the battle of the sexes. When the same female commentators that complain about objectification and talk about defining for themselves what being attractive means respond to excerpts from Roissy’s blog with small dick jokes (OMG, the matriarchy is saddling me with a negative body image!) it’s hard to take what would otherwise seem to be legitimate grievances as much more than brinkmanship. (OMG, did you notice it is brinkmanship? Must be specific to just the patriarchy then.)
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OK, I’ve just read Jezebel’s take on Roissy’s recent “How To Identify A Slut” thread. The problem I have with Jezebel and their ilk, is that they’re all too quick to play the Misogyny Card, while at the same time, refuse to actually debate the merit or lack thereof of the position being presented.
For example, the writer at Jezebel simply tosses out the M Card early on in his post. So what, its Misogynistic to want to have sex with a Woman now? And if so, how?
She also takes issue with Roissy’s observation that Black Women tend to be sluttier than White Women, on average. No doubt and probably coming as a shock to the Jezebel writer, quite a few people *here* took issue to Roissy’s views in this regard.
But when I outlined some basic, and well documented, facts about Black America, no one could offer a credible challenge to refute them and which actually serves to buttress Roissy’s original contention. The fact that I happen to be Black myself, and also wasn’t crazy about his statement, is, ultimately, irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that Black Women have more babies, out of wedlock, get married less, stay married less, have more abortions than any other group of Women, use birth control less, and have more STDs than any other group of Women when controlling for population size, etc. All of these factors would lead one to conclude, hey, maybe R’s gotta point.
I certainly did.
And hence why I have what can only be described as something three or four levels beneath Contempt for the Feminist Lobby and their cohorts, and wish they encounter the Seventh Ring of Dante’s Inferno, because they deliberately use bad faith tactics to engage issues. I have no problem with them disagreeing with Roissy, what I have a problem with is the way in which they do it.
Aaaaaaand another thing. I know, for a fact, that Roissy is far and away an advocate for Human Rights than the whole of the Feminist Blogosphere, combined. How and why do I say this?
Since I’ve been here, circa Sep 2008, I cannot recall ANYONE being banned; indeed, when Roissy moved to remove someone from this forum, he was met with an outrage from the readership, including me. He relented. Much to his credit. Roissy actually stands up for the principle of Freedom of Speech, while the likes of Jezebel & Co actively tramples on this principle, gleefully delighting in their Stalinesque totalitarianism-if you don’t tow the party line, you are GONE.
So if the good ladies at Jezebel, or any other Feminist haunt have the wherewithall to actually debate the issues discussed here at Roissy’s, I for one welcome them with open arms. By all accounts, they will be treated a far sight better here, than what I’ve personally witnessed at their venues.
Someone take these comments back to Jezebel. And tell them that I said it.
Salaam
Mu’Min
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I read couple of pages of comments from the Jezebiel thread. I think it is quite interesting to analyze their reaction from evo psych perspective. Here is my take:
Most writers do not make a coherent case what makes them angry. Almost all of the comments seem just to be gut reactions expressing disgust. You can see it from the use of physical reaction metaphors such as “it makes me sick”. Many also mention being disgusted.
What makes people feel disgusted? Usually it boils to moral outrage. And morality is about group cohesion. Somebody has violated some group norms, so he needs to be vindicated by the rest of the group in order to keep group together.
If you go through Roissy’s original list, I think it breaks two norms:
(1) you should not make negative generalizations about race which has victim position in society
(2) woman in our society should have full sexual freedom, being labeled a slut is a thing in the past
Having lived only three years in the US, so I cannot know for sure, but I feel that first one is usually the much stricter and stronger norm. However, only very few of the posters referred to that norm, for example calling Roissy racist etc.
From this I gather that most of the posters must have personally felt more strongly about the “violations” of the second norm. This is very likely to mean that they immediately understood that by Roissy’s standards they would be recognized as sluts.
However, there are some pretty good evolutionary reasons for why men use the madonna/whore dichotomy to categorize women. That’s why this dichotomy will never go away, no matter how much “blank slate” and “woman has full sexual freedom” crap magazines feed to women.
The real reason then why women get so upset about this list is that they either consciously or non-consciously understand that society has lied to them about the fact that women can screw around as much as they want, and they have do so, and now it’s coming back to haunt them.
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Flakes – who needs ’em?
I would assume she’s changed her mind about going out with me and is probably giving me the brush-off for whatever reason. Even if she is being honest and just wants to comfort her friend, the fact that she is already flaking out even before our first date is not a good sign for the future. The fact that she doesn’t bother to correct her broken-off message is not a good sign either. She’s either trying to shit test me or is a scatter brain. I’m not interested in dealing with either type of woman. So I would probably wait a few hours, then text her back with, “If I get a chance, I’ll call you”, so that I don’t look like a passive schlub. I would then go on with my life. I would keep her number in my phone just so that I would know not to answer it if she really did call. After a couple of days, I would delete her number.
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About the Jezebel blog, if sleeping around is OK at least one reader would have freely admitted to it. Women will admit to being lazy wives, bad with children, spendthrift, bad cooks, a nag, but will never admit to being a slut.
I would be impressed if those generous with sexual favors owned up and said, “I’m a slut, so what?”
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to even ask yourself whether her excuse is true or not is misguided. most likely it is not true. but whether it is true or not, it functions as a test either way: your response will define her attraction.
if you show you assume it’s true, you’re beta: naive.
if you show you assume it’s not true, you’re beta: insecure.
what’s beta in either case is *caring whether it’s true*.
to see it as an iod (as someone above did) or as flaking and to be disappointed or mad is misguided as well. we live in sexual abundance: her flaking is irrelevant.
most likely she’s lying. but if you feel you need to call her on it, it shows your disappointment, thus her weight in your life, thus that you are a lightweight compared to her, thus that you are not worthy of her. she will not be attracted anymore.
why does she do this? because she thinks it’s possible that you are *very hot* indeed. and now she wants to see if you really are.
the greater the challenge she presents to me, the hotter she imagines me to be (but she needs to make sure).
so: what she is doing is actually a compliment.
the key: demonstrate that this has no weight for you.
one option: no response at all.
she will be frustrated because of the lack of effect of her message and will likely contact you again to meet up. otherwise you can contact her — perhaps two weeks later — completely ignoring the incident. (plans are options, you accepted she was busy, so were you. say sorry you forgot to txt back, if she asks.)
second option: txt back: “sure. guess what i just saw: [unrelated observation of mutual interest]”
the idea here is: you got her message. it has no weight for you. it has no effect on your mood or on your attitude toward her. some random observation of mutual interest that you might have shared under other cicumstances as well captures your attention more than your date with her.
there are other options along similar lines… you get the idea.
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He-Man, Benito, good analysis, and I agree.
The very fact that neither the writer, nor the commenters, at Jezebel actually took on Roissy’s contentions, point for point, and debunked them with actual reason or facts, proves our case. And which explains why, you NEVER see Feminists in a real debate. Its because guys like us would mop the floor with em and Mu personally would beat on dat azz like Planet of The Apes.
Women are of the Herd Mentality. This is why they use Shaming tactics much moreso than do Men, who tend to think more along individualistic lines.
Whiskey’s done an excellent job discussing this on his blog, in an analysis of the show 24. Check it out.
Salaam
Mu
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Guys, the naïvely blunt approach is best. Text back something like:
“I don’t know if you’re lying or not, but texting me in this way is bullshit. Cut the crap, make it up to me, and maybe I’ll give you access to my cock.”
Either that or don’t reply if you can’t be bothered.
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anonymous
she’s beggin for attention. we can’t take it anymore
Truly? I’m just expressing my honest, sincere, heartfelt opinion! Roissy craves the abuse.
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damn italics
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The jezebel site is hilarious. All the sluts and/or cougars seem to congregate there. Agnostic found the fountain of feminist venom. “Game doesn´t work on me” LOL!!!!!!!!! The self-delusion of women at its finest!
What worries me is if those whackos start to post here and make conversation in this blog impossible. Because they WILL COME AGAIN.
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daniel:
It has nothing to do with ego, it’s about being a sensible adult and expecting the other person to do the same. Obviously that’s something that “alphas” can’t understand.
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Well tokyo, as soon as you find a woman that can act like a rational adult and not an emotional adult, even an intelligent, honest, good girl, let me know.
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Nic,
There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin.
Clearly you’ve been watching too much Dexter and not spent enough time learning from the really skilled guys, like Bundy.
You can’t target a girl you’ve been talking to in plain view of a whole bunch of people that knows you both. If anything, you use her as an alibi. Choosing the proper target is like 95% of not getting caught.
To do this properly you need very good cold approach and day game, and/or a good horse tranquilizer. You also need a target nobody will quickly miss, as well as a handy minority to blame once somebody starts noticing.
The only time you let the facade crack is once she’s tied down to a nice sturdy chair in a safe location with a piece of tubing between her jaws.
Both guns and silencers are completely superfluous when your victim is much smaller than you. Not to mention completely lacking in intimacy. If you do your groundwork properly there should be no chance of your victim being armed, so brute force or a knife should be plenty of advantage.
Butchering a human body is tons of hard work, and will leave DNA all over the ceiling. It’s definitely not something you can pull off with a shitty chef’s knife quietly in an unknown apartment. Not to mention that the noise generated while severing a limp easily could attract nosy neighbours, and then you suddenly have your work doubled or even tripled!
Cleaning up with filthy, stinking hobos just lacks class. If that’s where you’re going, you might as well just get an Ak-47 with 10 clips, a few grenades, a gas mask and a plan to hole yourself up in an elementary school.
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So far, I’d probably vote for either “Flake. Rude.” or better ““gay. you’re buying if we meet up again”. But frankly, I wouldn’t waste that much time, so I’d go with the one word ambiguous response — “wow” and then move on.
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Mu’Min: Time to reframe. There is no need to prove anything, especially analytically, to a woman, ever. I am now dating an extremely analytical woman, but even she cannot analyze her own behavior rationally.
You can, if you want, amuse yourself now and then by engaging in discussions with feminists and the like. I did it for years because it didn’t know better. But don’t fool yourself into believing that such discussion would ever lead anywhere. It will not even help you to understand women, because they don’t understand themselves.
Women need to lie to men about various things (such as how much sex partners they have), and it is easier to lie if you believe the lies yourself. That is why women are so confused about their own behavior and telling them the truth makes them squirm. That is also why women underreport sexual partners in questionnaires (ref: Sperm Wars).
Also, you will not be able to “prove” anything, because no analytical argument is sufficient to convince a woman about something. (This often applies to men, too). It also needs to connect emotionally to other things she believes. Evo psych cuts through many lies women tell to themselves, and that is why it is so hard for them to take.
Sometimes, it may seem like discussion progresses for a while. But it is an illusion. Eventually, you touch some nerve and out comes some irrational reaction. Often in such case woman confuses morality with the description of behavior. Somehow they just cannot keep these two thoughts separate. Remember, “is does not imply ought to”.
But don’t take my word for it, just observe. It happens even in this blog all the time.
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Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Jane @ January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm
I like how your option #2 involves leaving a voice mail, in that you already know this “nice girl” with “self esteem” is NOT going to pick up the phone and let it go to voice mail.
I think that’s very disrespectful that you consider yourself a “nice girl” that is “different” yet you still think nothing of resorting to games and not picking up the call, so that it goes to voice mail.
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woman hate?
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“Don’t bother.”
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I don’t think “Flake. Rude.” is a good response. First, you’re acknowledging that you think she’s a flake. Acknowledging it and coming back with the “Rude” response is weak and seems catty. Leaving it at just “Flake” would be better. If you respond at all it should be something witty. I still maintain saying nothing at all, but if you must say something like
If you do think she’s a flake, then why let her get under your skin? This lets her control you, and will probably lead to some satisfaction on her part. A simple “Rude” is not putting her in her place, so there is no benefit to saying it.
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“Well when you finish that thought, let me know.”
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Roissy,
In my opinion I would say your best move would be to acknowledge her txt with something short and sweet (after all, you still want in her dirty hippy pants) like “good luck with that…I’ll catch you next time”
after that you are done and ready to move on to the next – the ball is in her court – if she responds, icing on the cake, if not, you are out 1 txt msg…
no need to be an asshole yet – she gets one chance and if she flakes beyond that, you’ll never know.
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“good luck with that…I’ll catch you next time”
3point5 james’ answer conveys the perfect air of nonchalance.
The trick is that you actually have to *internalize* this nonchalance. It cannot be faked.
Once you have reached that state of internalization, it is a Zenlike state. To be a master and in the moment, you have to not care.
——-
“I am going to pose a question,” King Milinda said to Venerable Nagasena. “Can you answer?”
Nagasena said, “Please ask your question.”
The king said, “I have already asked.”
Nagasena said, “I have already answered.”
The king said, “What did you answer?”
Nagasena said, “What did you ask?”
The king said, “I asked nothing.”
Nagasena said, “I answered nothing.”
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Congrats Roissy on making Jezabel!
I just want to throw out to the board a question: Why do the commenters and posters there all use irony or insults to make their points?
Why can’t anyone just say what they mean, inseated of saying the “charming” Roissy when they think he’s an idiot, and things like “Oh, wonderful” when they mean “that sucks.”
Reading Jezebel is like being back in ninth grade and sitting with the Goth kids.
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Fuck that noise. IF she’s telling the truth, her friend lives in Dramaland, and, especially if she is enabling it, she likely does too. If she’s not telling the truth, well, even a lesser beta should be able to figure the rest out. Furthermore, the part of the message that got through said she would call, so you should just forget her until she calls, if she even does. Until then, you should go back to your life of a job that matters, doing things to help out humanity, and shagging top grade ass. Otherwise, by definition, you are a fucking beta trying to play in an alpha’s world.
And texts? Seriously? Unless I’m trying to pick up a 12 year old*, I’m not texting back.
*Candy still works well, FYI.
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There are a number of issues here.
I’m turned off by all this emotional currency she’s dealing in. She’s hanging with her depressed friend in the bar, AND canceling her once-in-a-lifetime first date with me to hang with another depressed friend? Fuck that.
And all of this emotional support to friends suggest her hippie shit is all about supporting her friends and making the world a better place. Mark my words, she won’t show up alone to any date you have with her. Hippie girls like this that spend that much time wading through other people’s emotions love groups and will want to insert you as her accessory in the circle of friends in which she is inevitably the center. She will want to care for her flock, eventually finding you some other woman so you two can be an additional pair that orbit her.
My response? I never respond to her text, never return her calls, and only give her a second chance if I encounter her in a bar again someday and she realizes the awesome opportunity she missed out on and that she better not fuck around this time.
I got better things to do than play games with someone I’ve only invested 15 minutes of texts and phone calls in.
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He Man,
You know what, you are absolutely 100% correct. Good lookin’ man.
Noted.
Calibrating…
Salaam
Mu
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reply:
who is this?
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Just ignore. If she calls like she said she would, cool, if she doesn’t, move on. Her loss.
From what I’ve read so far from the replies, my pick would be Mike’s:
“Bring your friend out. It’s not like you were going to have me all to yourself, anyway.”
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You do nothing. Get along with your day. The day of the date will come and she’ll get paranoid that you didn’t get her text. Keep moving along your day, and she’ll call closer to the date time and say something along the lines of, “Hey its _____ did you get my text?” You say nothing, let her continue, “so I have to cancel today because of ________, and I’m really sorry but I really want to hang out with you.” You reply, “I dunno, you just canceled on me” (With a fun happy vibe), “I’ll tell you what, YOU can buy me a drink Thursday at (Your fun bar of choice). She laughs, and says “Sure, how about X Time” You reply, “See you then”
On the day of the date, you want to establish interest in her to keep her going, so ask how her friend is doing, not too much detail but just to show you remember her/differentiate her from all your other talent
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Jesus, I would be surprised if roissy reads 20% of his comments. It goes on forever.
I would leave an open-ended offer like: “My friend’s band is playing again, Sunday the 15th @ xxx. You should check them out.”
(I’m assuming this has to be true for some venue in the next three or four weeks)
Then don’t respond anymore. This is like giving *her* an opportunity for seeing *you* again, while also indicating *you* are not there to see *her*.
If she shows up, then she did so to see you, and you both know it, which puts you at the advantage. And the seduction can begin anew, but without the emo killjoy.
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Invariably when feminist blogs start insulting men for their “misogynistic” ideas they resort to the same primitive sociobiological values that they are supposedly disagreeing with:
“I’m gonna take a wild guess here and say he has never actually slept with anyone.”
“How small is this loser’s dick? I think you’d need negative numbers.”
“I can’t get too riled up, because honestly, does this sounds like someone who actually gets laid?”
“How To Identify Men Who Have Never Ever Known A Woman In Real Life”
And it goes on and on. The message is clear. They could very easily use insults like “mean”, “asshole”, “uncivilized”, and so on, if these were the qualities they truly believed men should be disdained for. And a few always do. But the predominate form of insult directed towards males on feminist blogs is “BETA”.
This is merely the inverse and complementary insult to “slut”. Men are deemed inferior if they can’t attract women or obtain female sexual favoritism. But why? Because female reproductive material is valuable, and valuable men are the ones who can access it. (which makes feminist insults about “small dicks” and “virginity” all the more meaningless and pathetic, when it isn’t true)
For the same reason, as I’ve stated before, higher value women have lower numbers of sex partners than lower value women. This is because higher value women can obtain more positive attention and emotional and financial investment from men without giving them easy sex. The more valuable the woman, the more men will work for the reward.
So a “slut” is merely a female “loser”. Someone who has to trade away their one worthwhile asset at bargain basement prices to get any male to give a shit about her at all.
If you don’t like the implicit message of “slut,” then don’t use insults like “loser”. Both spring from the same set of biologically-based value judgments. To use one is to reinforce the other. Either female sexual choice determines social worth or it doesn’t.
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Also “sluts” and “losers” inevitably find each other in the end. The single-moms and washed-up cougars end up pairing off with the men who are left in mid-life. Men who couldn’t attract them or keep them when they were still young and attractive.
The females don’t seem all that attracted, and the men have to bust their asses to make their bull-busting pants-wearing wives happy, but these late marriages of convenience are probably the ones that end up staying together because the options have all run out for both parties:
“Consider the men whom older women I know have married in varying degrees of desperation over the past few years: a recovering alcoholic who doesn’t always go to his meetings; a trying-to-make-it-in-his-40s actor; a widower who has three nightmarish kids and who’s still actively grieving for his dead wife; and a socially awkward engineer (so socially awkward that he declined to attend his wife’s book party)
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry
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i’d text:
“…plans? sweet love? complete sentences?”
and see what she does
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long time reader, first time poster.
This is easy.
Wait until the day of the cancelled date. If she does, in fact, call you before then, play it like, ‘hey, that’s fine, sisters before misters, right right… wait, is your friend’s name sandy? Because if it is, tell her I want my [insert some hipster type item… argyle sweater or whatever you people wear] back. And I’m sorry. Not to her, but I should apologize to you. I only broke up with her so I could be properly single before going on a date with you…. and then you have to console her during the time we set up for our date. How tragically ironic! [keep in mind, it’s very difficult to plan such a conversation, it will require improvisation] Well anyways, if your friend is up for it, you should bring her to [bar] where i’m going to watch my friend’s band. good luck with your friend.’
She’ll call you when she’s done with the friend, and you can set up a future meet.
If she does not contact you before the time of the cancelled date, then try to call her WHILE SHE IS SUPPOSEDLY TALKING TO HER FRIEND, while you are at a place that has interesting ambient sound, so she knows you’re doing something, and not sitting at home. [might need to call from a different number, i know, shady, but worth it.] Be cool and cocky, just a total, ‘let me talk to your friend for a second. just give her the phone.’ and then totally flirt it up a bit with the friend, like in the overly-flirtatious, ‘i’m a hipster being ironic about flirting with you ha ha ha’ way. then get all serious and be like, ‘look, it’s tough getting through a breakup. believe me. i just got out of a long-term relationship about four months ago, and for a few weeks I didn’t even want to talk to any women. But it will get better. If you guys are feeling up for it, my friends and I are going to a show in a bit when we get done with dinner here, and I’d like for you guys to come.’
You can even hand the phone to one of your guy friends, have him talk to the dumped girl, it’s very playful.
eventually get back to your girl, say, ‘hey sorry about that, i just couldn’t let her cry on your shoulder all night [insert a neg about women giving bad advice to their friends? mock the girl a little for being the one who always has to console her friends, and never the one who’s consoled?] ‘but if you two aren’t feeling up for it, just give me a call later. bye.’
Done.
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“A shaky number close is better than no number at all. A few minutes later, she sends you a text saying you are ‘adorable’ and she’d like drinks soon. You text back, scolding her humorously for calling you adorable, and saying you will call.”
You punished her when she showed a strong IOI. There was no reason to scold her.
You reward her when she compliments or qualifies herself to you, and scold her when she’d cold. It’s called mirroring.
What you could have done was ask her where she lives and work your way to getting her physical address through text. Once you have that you know she’s DTF. You can then call her when you arrive.
I sense miscalibration in the above post. Anyway, I’m curious as to how you recovered from your blunders.
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“Her friend’s going through a terrible break-up and needs to talk to her TOMORROW night? Bullshit. ”
I agree. I would think personally she didn’t have interest. She probably would’ve made a lame excuse to the girlfriend in question to escape the drama for a little while if she thought you were smokin’. Maybe displayed a litte more neediness in her text. So, the question is, how would one go about making her think lustfully of you while ostensibly comforting her poor friend? It also seems wierd to me to talk about friend’s problems and expect a guy you don’t know to understand.
From my perspective, any and all responses could be interpreted badly if she wasn’t attracted( e.g. giving a number for attention/esteem boost).
No response = whatever, maybe he didn’t get my text, I’ll just send another one and forget about it if I really give a damn.
Replying quickly with ‘no prob’ = pfft, loser. Just won’t bother to reschedule.
Answer that has anger or telling off in it = controlling bastard/creep.
Answer that has any sexual or touching reference in it = creep.
‘who is this?’ = great, that lets me off.
guy ‘trying to be sensitive’ = aaah, just want to get rid of him. Annoying. AND devaluing my noble role as friendsaver. Don’t want him around in my business.
If she was attracted, not responding does help establish her level of interest and flakiness, probably. She’d want to make sure you were not interested. You might ruin it with anything personal that ruins the attractive impression/fantasy of you. ‘Who is this?’ hurts a little, I guess that might work by making her present her value… how’s she going to phrase it ‘Girl in bar, with the braid you commented on?’ or a playful ‘I can’t believe you don’t remember me!’
This is all theory on my side, probably from a biased side. The experimental results in the ‘field’ are what matter!
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I’d just text back “Oh, one of *those*. Do you trade back and forth, or is it a one-way deal?”
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Nic + JohnF = massively entertaining!
He-man, would you say all women are confused about their behaviour regardless of educational, social, economical or international background?
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We need some straight Head and Shoulders for this one if she flakes.
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You (option 1)
——————–
text her:
Something came up I can’t hang with you tommorow, blah blah blah.
(Basically you cancel on her and ignore that she canceled on you first, just have a strong frame and it will be like you canceled first. She will call you surprised wanting to know why you canceled)
You (option 2)
——————–
Tell her how glad you are she canceled because you forgot you had plans to go to a party and were about to tell her you couldn’t make it
You (option 3)
——————–
Ignore, you have better things to do than to even respond at this point
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I find it endlessly amusing that you deride the women commenters who dared to question roissy’s penis size, when you write things like this:
“Nah, just a bunch of sarcasm, scare-quoting, and sailor-mouthery. It’s like someone cloned Daria from MTV and made her 150 lbs heavier, deflated her breasts and ass, and scratched a thousand wrinkles across her face.”
Are you really too blind to see that such taunts are exactly analogous to the “small penis” insult you all dislike so very much?
What a perfect lesson in stupidity.
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Mu’Min: I wouldn’t have been so harsh unless I thought you needed it and would understand. How refreshing to meet such willingness to learn. You will go far with that attitude.
Bhetti B.: Good question. I have lived in the US for few years, and most of my life in Europe. I’m mainly talking about Western cultures. I don’t have enough first-hand experience about for Eastern or Middle-eastern cultures to answer your question with high enough confidence.
But to make an educated guess, I would say this applies universally. One key finding is the count how many times people exercise sex during their lifetimes. This is consistently lower for women across very different cultures.
There has been some research into this issue. Most advanced mainstream evo psych explanation is that while men guess the number, women count it, and guessing amounts to higher number than counting on average. I have looked into some data about number of sexual partners (which is a little bit different.) available on-line, and have found that there is some evidence about this. If you check the men with highest numbers of partners, they all round up their number to nearest ten etc.
But it does not explain the effect completely, and does not explain where the difference in method comes from. (it is so common across cultures that I don’t believe the sex difference is learned.) Sperm Wars mentions another version of this experiment, which to my knowledge has not been replicated. (Very unfortunate.) When people were attached to what they thought was a lie-detector, the sex difference in number of reported sexual partners disappeared. Women started reporting as many partners as men.
How do I explain this? (This is my own theory and not backed up by evo psych.) While I think “lying” is an accurate expression, it is an loaded expression which has moral underpinnings. More detailed explanation is probably that when women think about number of sexual partners, they do not remember the times when they were engaged in short-term mating. There is just no direct mental cognitive link between “sex” and “short term mating”, only with “sex” and “pair bonding mating”. It sounds very strange that this high level of mental concepts would be innate, but all the evidence points to this.
This is only a small fragment of the differences between men and women.
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He-Man,
Thanks again. Yea, I was talking to another Player and we both agreed that we have to basically “rewire” ourselves in a way that leaves certain parts of ourselves behind on the journey. Women, by and large, simply do not respond to Logic or Reason. And like you, I too am currently dealing with a number of Women who have *very high* IQs-one of them is over 140-and they act in the same way as Women who’s IQ is in the normal or average range.
Look man, I’m trying to fuck, period. That’s not a crime, last time I heard. The Lady has a nice time, too. I don’t hate Women, if anything Game has given me a newfound respect for them. But it is crystal clear to me that Women respond to Men who provide leadership and direction. Period.
So again, good lookin’ and any other advice, tips, pointers, etc., are greatly appreciated.
Salaam
Mu
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the spirit of this post is true.
the letter of this post is, however, not at all true.
you see, high-iq women are rarely around other people who will stimulate and stoke their rogue emotions and animal natures. most of them, due to the nature of everything high-iq, inhabit pussified, pc-indoctrinated, feminized, low-testosterone environments that are the antithesis of everything in the “women’s erotica” that is their guilty pleasure.
some of them, mostly the business and lawyer chick types, populate environments that are ostensibly high-testosterone and masculinized, but in which that testosterone and masculinity are completely (mis)directed into non-venusian endeavors.
upshot:
* take one such high-iq woman (= moth)
* place her in the vicinity of a “smoldering” man with intact balls, unapologetic hands, raging sexuality, silver-tongued eloquence, and, preferably, a known reputation as a player (= flame)
* watch her combust.
i love high-iq women. there’s nothing sexier than a woman who will for once stop multitasking so that she can devote 100% of her considerable intellect to making herself my lusty, lascivious, servile, wanton, nasty, submissive little slut.
it’s been too long since i’ve gone to the university libraries looking for … good books.
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for those around here who are incapable of simple inference, here’s the Simple English version of the above article:
high-iq women are dirtier, nastier, and sluttier than lower-iq women, but only in the hands of the right man.
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J5,
I can only say this:
Your comments above
Plus
My own direct experience, both past and *present, as we speak* in realtime
Equals
Nail. On. Head.
Damn.
Good lookin’ man. Looking foward to the day when we all Squad Up.
Salaam
Mu
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I’d just like to post the following thoughts, if I may.
Recently, Roissy made the comment that, for the vast majority of Men, there can be no Fate more Hellish, than going through the whole of his life, and never knowing the Love or Embrace, of a Woman.
To that I say, Amin.
I myself recently spoke of how Game has given me not only a newfound respect for Women, but also, a sense of grace with respect to Men who simply are unable to utilize Game Theory.
The following true story, which just took place this week, will suffice.
The other day on the job, Frank had won $5000 in the lottery; it was one of those “scratch off” ticket deals. Now, Frank is an *ugly* version of Forrest Gump-he has a god heart, a good guy. But he’s a bit slow, and, like I said, his looks are such that he will not in my judgment be able to pull even 4s. And I say this not to demean him, but as one who cares about him.
Well, the othr fellas at the gig were hatin’ on Frank: man, I sure could use that money! Why does *he* have to win? He better not come to work next Monday!
And so on.
I gathered the Brothas up in the Chow Hall:
I told them, listen: y’all need to understand that the Creator is the Soul Controller here, and it is He who decides who will and who will NOT receive His Blessings. For all you know, His hand being involved in Frank winning that money may be to his advantage, for the simple reason that we all know Frank ain’t that good looking, and that he ain’t ever had a Female. That money will now give him the chance to do something ALL OF US TAKE FOR GRANTED. I see that as a huge Blessing to Frank, and for my part I rejoice in his victory.
The Brothas had to concede that I had a legit point.
I say to my Brothers in the Game: please, do not curse our Lesser Brothers. Their lives are hard enough as it is. Show them a bit of Grace. It is the hallmark of Champions.
Amin.
Salaam
Mu
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Mu’Min:
Being without a woman is very easy, and anyone who thinks that that’s the worst fate a man could possibly have is completely out of touch with reality. I imagine you PUAs inhabit some sort of bubble universe where the only concern in life you ever have is banging sluts.
Not everyone wants to utilize it.
Yes, clearly anyone who isn’t good with the ladies is a lesser human being. Go jump in front of a train you fucking oxygen thief.
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I’d be all over this guy:
on January 7, 2009 at 7:23 pm mr. mike
i’d text:
“…plans? sweet love? complete sentences?”
and see what she does
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Wow tokyo, your anger bubbles from every pore. Your words indicate great sexual frustration with an excess of groundless ego. I suggest you go find yourself a girlfriend for a happy change! Without any game as you say, and with such a wonderful attitude about “sluts” as you call women, you will find a lovely lady very easily. Please let us know how that works out for you. Cheers.
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ZW:
I’m not sexually frustrated, and to say that I have groundless ego is absurd beyond belief. Mu’Min just said that men who aren’t good with women are lesser human beings, and I’m the one with ego issues?
No thanks.
It’s called The Game because that’s exactly what it is, and by playing it you will only get women who are also playing (who are sluts).
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“Go jump in front of a train you fucking oxygen thief”
SOmeone hit a nerve
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That goes for you too gig, since you also seem to believe that men who aren’t good with women are lesser human beings.
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[…] 8, 2009 by roissy Tuesday’s post inspired the commenters to heights of creativity and in-depth analysis matched in erudition only by […]
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Cool or Awesome then say bye.
Simple, bold and uncaring. Next.
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“It’s called The Game because that’s exactly what it is, and by playing it you will only get women who are also playing (who are sluts).”
An overgeneralization, but there is some truth in that ONLY because this blog is centered on gaming white, urban professionals who live in the Washington, DC area — prime slut territory.
When I want to meet women without having to use American-style game, I go overseas.
Last month I had the sexual encounter of my life with a young, beautiful, very outgoing and witty London-educated Danish blonde who speaks 5 languages and has a personality that totally blows away anything you can find in DC. And a huge rack, small waist, and incredible butt, too.
It took me *zero* game to accomplish this (or at least no perceptible game by US standards)… about 3 hours from first meeting in the downtown of a big German city, to early dinner, to insane groping on the train platform, to my hotel room.
TFJ, or whatever you call yourself, it sounds as if you speak with major blinders on.
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“It took me *zero* game to accomplish this (or at least no perceptible game by US standards)… about 3 hours from first meeting in the downtown of a big German city, to early dinner, to insane groping on the train platform, to my hotel room.”
So does that make her a jizz-guzzling cum-dumpster, or does she have long-term potential as A Quality Woman?
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“So a “slut” is merely a female “loser”. Someone who has to trade away their one worthwhile asset at bargain basement prices to get any male to give a shit about her at all. ”
There is this thing known as orgasm that women have when the guy is hot and good in bed.
Maybe a friend has told you about the woman he have slept with that had one once while she was having sex with him because she was picturing herself with Jude Law.
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“I would be impressed if those generous with sexual favors owned up and said, “I’m a slut, so what?”
I don’t understand why you men can’t go find some other way to feel good about yourselves and to determine yours and other men’s “value” than using women as the yardsticks?
What are you prisoners to the way things “just are” or “have always been”?
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[…] Within the pick-up community, suggestions of how to deal with flaking range from prevention, to a zero-tolerance policy (including matter-of-factly calling her on her bad behavior), to mixed and more playful strategies, and on to an aggressive shifting of the balance of power at the level of society as a whole. A great story of classical flaking with lots of suggestions from commenters as to the best possible response is here. […]
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[…] March 11, 2009 by roissy It’s time for another test of your game. […]
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