I left a comment in Roosh’s post about fat people in modern society being OK with their slovenly appearance (my theory: removal of shaming controls and safety in numbers) in response to the following preposterous assertion by another commenter named Heather:
is it possible to be fat and happy? speaking from personal experience: yep. i fully realize that i’m in the minority, but here is the reality: i’m in spinning class three days a week, yoga four times a week, i walk everywhere, been a vegetarian for the last 18 years, shop at the farmer’s market every week, have an enviable boyfriend, a career that i love and that lets me have my own lovely apartment in expensive-ass san francisco, amazing friends, am crafty as a motherfucker….i could go on. oh, and i’m 5′5″ and 185 pounds.
my point? be careful of casting disparaging judgments on an entire class of people. everyone has their own thing going on, and making assumptions about the happiness of others is shallow and ignorant, at best.
Here was my reply to the very large 5’5″ 185lb Heather:
heather, are you familiar with the ethiopian famine of the mid-1980s? millions starving, and a bunch of euro pop stars got together and wrote a song called “do they know its christmas?” and sang feed the world. bob geldof organized charities. the media was streaming video and pics from ethiopia during that famine.
care to guess how many of those ethiopians were fat?
yeah, not a one.
you can try to fool everyone here but you can’t fool the second law of thermodynamics — if you eat less food you will lose weight.heather, you are a big fat bowling ball. 5′5″ 185 lbs is disgustingly obese on anyone who isn’t a world class male bodybuilder or powerlifter. if you aren’t lying about your exercise regimen and your vegetarianism, then the simple conclusion remains that you are eating way too much plant food or ice cream and/or exercising with the intensity of a slug for you to be that fat. because i guarantee that if you ate 200 calories worth of food per day for the next two months you WILL lose weight. there is no getting around that law of biochemistry.
oh, and i don’t believe you have an “enviable” boyfriend. you are either lying about that or deliberately misconstruing the meaning of “enviable” to assuage your ego. to clear the air, answer the following questions about your BF:
how tall is he?
how much does he weigh?
does he have all his hair?
do other women check him out when you are out with him on the town?
what is his occupation?
does he have an arrest record?
what is his level of education?
does he watch nascar regularly?
how much money does he make?
is he, or has he ever been, a drunk, gambling addict or drug addict?
is he, or has he ever been, in debt?
what happened to his last relationship?
what did his ex-girlfriends look like while he was dating them?
does he talk about his exes a lot?
when did he lose his virginity?
how long have you been together?
how many gifts has he bought you?
how often does he want to have sex with you?
has he ever fucked you with the lights on or during the daytime?
has he ever fucked you two or more times in a row?
does he go down on you?
on average, how long does he fuck you?
is he always asking you for blowjobs?
do you frequently catch him looking at other women?
has he ever called you another woman’s name?
does he watch a lot of porn?
is this porn featuring slender girls, or fat tonka truck girls?that’ll do for now.
ps: if you think at your grotesque size you aren’t suffering a hit to your attractiveness to 99.99% of men, think again. men are pretty uniform in what they desire in women’s looks. if you have found a genuine fatty fucker, then count your blessings, because the number of weirdo fetish men who like fucking women of size are FAR fewer than the number of fatsos available for them to fuck.
Roosh appreciated the ownage. On second reading, I am inclined to agree.
So what does this have to do with “Shove me, slap me, but don’t ever say you’ll leave me” theme week?
It’s this: Overeating is self-abuse. Except food won’t give you hot sex.
Unless your name is Keith and you stare longingly at butternut squash.
In his perfect world, shame is once again restored to its rightful place as a powerful motivator of human behavior. SWPLers hate shame. Probably because they hate things that make them feel bad but have the effrontery to work.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Take THAT fatty!
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What does all that have to do with women in abusive relationships? What started off the discussion of those relationships was the incident with Rihanna, who is by no stretch of the imagination fat.
Peter
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Hi Roissy, just wanted to say am a huge fan.
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I gotta say, this week’s is starting to get a little tired, but I completely agree in this post; the fatty plague sweeping the nation is just totally unacceptable. I have never, and will never, date, hook up with, or even dance with, someone who is gross and fat. Ick.
Can’t wait for a good weekend post this weekend.
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per usual, there’s great political and social ramification to what roissy’s talking about here. peep this from a post on the american prospect blog:
There’s something weird about the way conservatives approach social problems like out of wedlock birth or poverty, as if the people with such problems glean some kind of orgasmic pleasure for struggling for cash, or raising a child as a single parent. These things are hard enough without shame, and while I agree with Dreher and Peggy Noonan that what “you applaud, you encourage,” I’m very skeptical about the idea that shame can produce productive behavior.
the whole thing is here: http://www.prospect.org/csnc/blogs/tapped_archive?month=02&year=2009&base_name=the_limits_of_shame
and megan mcardle offers a more than adequate rebuttal here: http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/02/for_shame.php
a snippet:
Serwer is right that shame makes a hard lot harder. But I don’t think he is right about the value of shame. Without shame, what are you left with? It’s accepting that you have no way to regulate peoples’ behavior within the social network short of brute force or bribery.
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Brutal, once again. I’m always curious about how much reality about human nature we can take.
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roissy, i read that comment and had a question about it….
would nascar raise or lower man status for fatty’s boyfriend? the arrest record would raise it, so long as its not child porn, etc, but what about nascar??
i think a true nascar fan is a bigger man than a non-fan, everything else equal.
please advise, thx dude
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Heather is correct that it is possible to be fat and happy. But it shouldn’t be. Her “enviable” boyfriend needs to learn some game, pick up a mail-order bride catalogue, or just add 2-3 hooker nights per week to his budget.
Perhaps he really is a solid dude, and is just one of the 0.1% of men who genuinely prefer larger women. More likely though, he is with her for lack of better options (or more accurately, for fear of taking the steps towards exercising his better options). Girls like Heather must be content with the fact that every man they date is either A) At the end of his rope, or B) Suffering from a neurological disorder that inhibits his brain organs responsible for making adaptive mate choices.
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America is fat as fuck.
I never venture into The Red State Heartland, but I do see them sometimes when I breeze through tourist spots on both coasts. They are even Fatter.
Girls should be drug addicts instead of fat. Then at least they would have a chance with a guy like me.
America is fat as fuck.
If another World War ever goes down, Russia will kick our heads in. And Russia will kick in our Ed Hardy wearing, wrist band wearing, fake tan wearing, designer jean wearing, and spiked hair wearing asses.
America is fat as fuck.
If another World War ever goes down, I am out. Latin America. Custom Suits, Linen and two Latinas for me.
Side note:
Muhammad Ali would destroy Mike Tyson.
Side note:
One of dopest tracks of all time:
“Hit ya, back split ya, fuck fist fights and lame scuffles
Pillow case to your face, make the shell muffle
Shoot your daughter in the calf muscle
Fuck a tussle, nickel-plated
Sprinkle coke on the floor, make it drug related, most hated”
– MPM
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Because of the obesity epidemic there are many couples in which the guy looks like a cool attractive dude but he’s got a waddling bag of cow-liver on his arm. Often in the working class and lower middle classes, but not only. Very sad. Fatties need to be viciously shamed, almost as much as single mothers.
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I bet she describes herself as “Rubenesque”; the painter, not the sandwich, though the latter would seem more appropriate…
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is it possible to be fat and happy? speaking from personal experience: yep. ….i could go on. oh, and i’m 5′5″ and 185 pounds.
The above is what’s called defining deviancy down.
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I was once at a wedding that my parents also attended and I saw an American friend from out of state with a gargantually fat date.
My old man looked upon them with a mixture of amusement and disbelief, muttering to me “I’d rather be celibate…”
I said back to him: “It’s probably easier to step over her than walk around her.” (In Polish it’s more gracefully said: “Łatwiej przeskoczyć niż obejść”)
The purpose of this anecdote is to inform girls who are considering becoming fat that this is the kind of commentary that will folow them behind their backs for the rest of their lives, or at least until their menapause.
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Great post.
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My own BMI is around 21, i.e. about the average for a hunter-gatherer or a fighter pilot, and being over 50 y.o. boy do I stick out. I’m constantly getting remarks – or whispers – about how skinny I am. But as I like to tell people, *I’m* the normal one, the rest of you are all tubs of lard. The point being that standards have changed and no one feels any shame.
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For a second there her comment almost slipped under the radar.
“Heather” has never posted on my blog since the destruction.
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Vegetarian: oh look at me forcing my personal issues on everyone else and being holier-than-thou about it at the same time. Like religion but without the morals.
Besides, human genetics favors a low-carb diet. The science is pretty conclusive, but you have to be able to do some independent thinking. (If you still believe Global Warming, you fail.)
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roissy,
love this blog. anyways, maybe i missed it, but i’ve been wondering… what is SWPL?
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How do you fuck a fattie?
First, roll her in flour so you can find the wet spot. Waka waka waka.
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SWPL: Stuff White People Like
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Sometimes I hear a high pitched whistle and I know it is Roissy calling me.
This whole thing makes me sort of sad in the sense that people who struggle with their weight just wear their issues on their sleeve (or on the XL shirts) so it is easier to pick them apart. You can’t tell immediately when you meet someone at a bar that they are insecure, cruel, abusive, has a small dick, is impotent, is selfish, etc. but you sure can tell if someone is fat and pick them apart at will.
Yet, that being said, it is pretty obvious that the thinner you are the better you can pull. I once got raked over the coals by some girlfriends for saying about a guy “I would have dated him when I was fat”. But let’s be real here: I never would date my boyfriend from the fatty days now. I had to put up with some serious BS from him but it was what I could tack down.
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“I once got raked over the coals by some girlfriends for saying about a guy “I would have dated him when I was fat”. But let’s be real here: I never would date my boyfriend from the fatty days now. I had to put up with some serious BS from him but it was what I could tack down.”
Bravo for your honesty.
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How do you fuck a fattie?
First, roll her in flour so you can find the wet spot.
What’s older than the redwoods?
That joke.
Peter
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While we’re shaming modern body types, can we also shame scrawny men? I live in SWPL central, and the amount of beanpoles I see flouncing around is ridiculous. Seriously. Why would you want to be slimmer than your girlfriend?
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Please, please spare us the pretense of some kind of twisted altruism in your motive for shaming this woman…or trying to. You’re not trying to save anyone but yourself from oblivion.
If you want to save the western world from obesity, inform them. Shaming is just something you do to get your jollies…but like physical masturbation, it doesn’t produce anything.
This woman has been told that avoiding animal products will make her healthier. She’s probably sucking down toxic amounts of soy and fake foods that are supposedly better for her than their killing or milking required alternatives.
She probably tuned you out and ate a fat free twinkie and washed it down with a tofu milkshake while her bones crumble…while you were obsessing over fantasies about her husband’s status being less than yours.
Priorities. Get some.
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Sure, they may be fat, but those Mu’s sure know how to party!
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Fucking spinning? Yoga? What the fuck is wrong with people? There’s an entire field called exercise science, and people, WOMEN especially, throw their time and money away on ridiculous exercise that won’t ever help them lose weight and refuse to do it with any intensity whatsoever. It fucking kills me, I’ve been going 6 hours a week to the gym for about a year and making enormous gains. It’s really not fucking hard or time consuming at all but I have seen a total of 3 women using the squat rack. Every woman who tries to exercise either does some extremely light, useless, low intensity cardio or crappy machines in the weight room. It’s just plain disappointing to see fat chicks bouncing around on elipticals 30 minutes a day and never touching those TERRIFYING free weights.
What I’m saying is that it wouldn’t take all that much effort. If girls all went to the gym 2 times a week and did high intensity squats and deadlifts starting from age 13, there would be no 1s through 3s in the world. But no, instead women especially, but men as well, have this ridiculous aversion to heavy compound lift focused strength training.
I wish we could shame the FUCK out of fat people and get rid of those evolutionary cancer that is obesity.
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It strains credulity to suggest that a lack of information is what is lacking. People continue comfortable habits even when they know they ought not.
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But then my redundant use of ‘lack’ won’t help matters, either.
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Ha, yeah fat people being proud of their lardedness is not cool, whatever the cause of obesity. It’s like guys who are proud about playing 6 hours of video games a day.
The obesity epidemic is not due to overeating or sedentary behavior though — but to the greater percentage of our calories that come from carbs, especially the refined ones like sugars and starches.
If you try to eat less, your body adjusts by expending less energy, to maintain equilibrium. Similarly, if you expend a lot more energy, you work up an appetite and eat a lot more. That’s why dieting (in the sense of just consuming fewer calories) and exercise do not produce lasting weight loss.
Just slap the donuts and soda out of heather’s hand, and take away her pizza and pasta. If she’s a White person, slap the dagoba chocolate bar and sugar-saturated yoghurt out of her hand, and take away her bowls of whole grain rice and wheat baguette.
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@ agnostic “The obesity epidemic is not due to overeating or sedentary behavior though words words words”
Yes it is, especially sedentary behavior. And it’s like a vast majority of people who do make the attempt to exercise do it very poorly.
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Kthulah, the idea that “shame doesn’t work” – i.e. it does not produce a change in behavior or deter undesirable behavior – is only contradicted by its successful use to change behavior and deter undesirable behavior in all human societies throughout history.
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I want to ask, what size starts to be unappealing?
Girls like to look ultraslim, i wonder if guys prefer that type, or maybe a normal healthier look..
B
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Let fat people be fat. There are always 1-3 level guys who need someone to date. And if a woman is happy at the level she’s at, whatever level that may be, why are we trying to convinv=ce her that she should be unhappy instead. Yes, some guy is with her because he can’t upgrade. Isn’t that the case with all guys? If someone has a higher option, they will normally take it, whether it is a girl is a 2 or a 7, they both get left if a willing 10 comes into a guys glances. So why sweat it?
I think we as a society do plenty of fat shaming, especially of white women. I’ve never met one who was fat who was not intensely aware that she was fat, and that she had the dregs of guys because of it. The shame didn’t make them less fat, if anything just caused them to eat more. I think white American culture has made it very clear to the fatties among them that they should drop dead.
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Are you advocating shame to prevent deviant behavior , or to restore normal behavior?
After the sin is committed, people respond to forgiveness, a hand-up, goal-setting, and empathy. Shame only drives them deeper into pain, and ,yes, self-abuse.
I agree with the McArdle comments above, (thank you Lance) that shame is effective to prevent deviant behavior. However, after a critical percentage of the population becomes deviant, the behavior is accepted and no longer deters. Overweight (bmi 25-30) has become normalized. The generation in their 20s/teens honestly don’t see the overweight that older people do. They’ve lost the shame in it. Obesity bmi 30-35) still shamed. If we shame overweight/obesity, then we must be clear as to exactly why. we shame this deviancy.
-most men are romantically inspired to respond to normal weight women.
-most women are romantically inspired to respond to normal weight men.
-Many (but not all) obese cost us health care money and disability.
–
The health arguement fails on my husband; although his bmi is 33, his BP is low, his blood sugars are normal, and his cholesterol is less than 100.
@jonathanjones02
I’ve wondered the same. We’ve developed psychological defense mechanisms (denial, suppression, sublimation, repression, etc. ) for useful purposes; reading here may be damaging to the psycho health of some. I’ve wondered about my own. Even Roissy retains “idealization” (maintain the pedestal) of beautiful women for his own psycho health. “Heather” above has denial of her true eating habits going on, which likely doesn’t serve her well.
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“America is fat as fuck.” Totally.
I’m in Copenhagen, and at least half the girls have killer legs – 5’6″+ average height, slim toned calves, clad in 2″ heels and leggings while cycling, amazing…
Among middle-upper middle Americans, 20% would be generous.
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Kthula,
“If you want to save the western world from obesity, inform them. Shaming is just something you do to get your jollies…but like physical masturbation, it doesn’t produce anything.”
Wrong. Social proof’s influence is telling her it’s ok to be fat. Shame is another form of social proof that could influence her to be thin. The sad fact is that our decaying society has lost all ability to judge and shame people.
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BasilRansom,
mmm, love those danish girls. Blond, thin, and in my experience, uninhibited in the sack.
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Lehuster says, “Kthulah, the idea that “shame doesn’t work” – i.e. it does not produce a change in behavior or deter undesirable behavior – is only contradicted by its successful use to change behavior and deter undesirable behavior in all human societies throughout history.”
Really? This must have come out in a new study because last I heard, shaming just made OCD’s worse, and a bunch of kids who got bariatric surgery some years ago due to shame have committed suicide, or become drug addicts and alcoholics.
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Not to change subjects, but a recent New York Times article on a low-budget Brooklyn sex club has some amazing erotic language. Please try not to get too excited when you read this:
At a recent Valentine’s Day party, a couple in their 60s went at it nonchalantly near buffet trays of ziti. A fat man eating cheesecake sat and watched.
Peter
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I went to college at a large university in a medium sized city in the Mid-Atlantic. It was full of more fat or chain-smoking mudturtles than I thought existed. Meanwhile, I would go visit friends are other schools, such as UVA that was stock full of hotties. I don’t regret going there, but I do wish there was more of this theme going on of “to hell with fatties first. smokers second.”
As a non-smoker, I would never seriously date a smoker, although I’m aware alot of people only smoke in bars/while drinking.
I also have a theory that a girls who smoke have a higher correlation of one night stands or 1 – 3 dates before the bang probability.
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Kthulah,
Did you really just use mentally ill people as examples of why shaming doesn’t work? Wow, that’s some solid logic.
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This must have come out in a new study because last I heard, shaming just made OCD’s worse,
Things like OCD or stammering are uncontrollable, so shaming these will not only be useless, but is inhumane and cruel.
and a bunch of kids who got bariatric surgery some years ago due to shame have committed suicide, or become drug addicts and alcoholics
When individuals are directly shamed (teased, picked on) some take it as a kick in the ass to do something about their problem. Others will break down when directly shamed.
But when a culture has a generalized attitude of disapproval of obesity, then a critical mass (heh) of people will have just enough motivation to stay thin. And th ekids who became alcoholics or druggies as aresult of being shamed will never have gotten fat to begin with.
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Always the same people with the same kinds of problems I see at the gym. I think this site below is goldmine of nutrition information.
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/
Mark Rippetoe, the one of the best strength and conditioning coaches in the world recommends it. If you don’t know who HE is you, are wasting your time at gym.
Combine with Crossfit and you have winners, male or female.
F/126
Deadlift-220
Backsquat-210
BP-145
C&J-135
Pull-ups max-21
1 mile run-6:20
60 second push-up max-80
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I think this is an excellent point, and serves as a better statement of what Kthulah was trying to say.
While my attraction for a woman takes a sharp decline as BMI increases – and I think we have a serious problem with obesity in the US – one thing that I find even less attractive than fat is obsessive hatred of fatties. If forced to choose between a hardbody burdened with the personality defect of fatty-hatred and someone who is voluptuous but kind, I would choose the kind woman any day.
I’m reminded of Steve Martin’s character in L.A. Story when he says “I don’t think you understand how unattractive hate is.”
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Lemmonex:
You can’t tell immediately when you meet someone at a bar that they are insecure, cruel, abusive, has a small dick, is impotent, is selfish, etc.
Maybe not immediately, but it’s a dead giveaway when they say “You know, I have this blog called ‘Roissy in DC’…
John:
mmm, love those danish girls. Blond, thin, and in my experience, uninhibited in the sack.
Behold, another weak attempt at social proof.
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Paul,
You’re amusing. No one is immune.
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there is one other condition that’ll make you put on weight bloat up – not with fat per se – but with water (swollen tissues). Such people seem to defy the 2nd law.
That is a hypoactive thyroid.
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John, how effective would me calling you a moron be in getting you to actually Google “gastric bypass suicide”?
…or hell, even “common triggers suicide”?
Chaotically applied mental torture doesn’t help people. Having a sound argument and presenting it like a person who isn’t mentally ill and irrationally obsessed with boosting his own ego by shaming others, helps people.
Feeling shame is one thing. Trying to purposefully shame someone doesn’t necessarily cause them to feel shame.
Forget about what’s right. Let’s talk about what’s effective.
Say, someone says, “The sky is green.”
Would telling them that because they think the sky is green they’re beta be more effective than telling and showing them that the sky is blue?
Do you think they’ll be more embarassed about being called beta, or from being proven wrong about the color of the sky?
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Among my group of girlfriends, one is fat. When we go out she’s always so bitchy and cock blocks, always the first one to make a comment (Debbie Downer-style).
Hanging out with her was impossible. She’s obviously unhappy but won’t do anything about her weight, and hates me for being 103 lbs, 5’1.
Once we were in Lane Bryant and she goes, ” it must make you feel good to help me shop here, huh”.
Yeah, we’re not friends anymore.
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The obesity epidemic is not due to overeating or sedentary behavior though — but to the greater percentage of our calories that come from carbs, especially the refined ones like sugars and starches.
If you try to eat less, your body adjusts by expending less energy, to maintain equilibrium. Similarly, if you expend a lot more energy, you work up an appetite and eat a lot more. That’s why dieting (in the sense of just consuming fewer calories) and exercise do not produce lasting weight loss.
Just slap the donuts and soda out of heather’s hand, and take away her pizza and pasta. If she’s a White person, slap the dagoba chocolate bar and sugar-saturated yoghurt out of her hand, and take away her bowls of whole grain rice and wheat baguette.
True dat bro.
I don’t eat the grainz anymore because it spikez the insulin too much and causes fat gain. I’m a strictly paleo diet now because the added fats boost my test levels and helps me gain lean muslce bro.
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Do you think they’ll be more embarassed about being called beta, or from being proven wrong about the color of the sky?
You underestimate people’s dogged persistance in clinging to their own pretty lies. Sometimes pain and shame breaks through where logic is rationalized away. Case in point: leftism.
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Is Obesity as unaccepted in our time as homosexuality once was?
Why do we hate or making jokes about these people. Its sad!
One is not forced to live together with them or find them attractive.
Maybe Henriette is digging her head in the sand to avoid some evident truths, but then again, i think we all have misconceptions about ourselves, and if that can make her happy,,
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PA says, “Things like OCD or stammering are uncontrollable, so shaming these will not only be useless, but is inhumane and cruel.”
If there was a cure for OCD’s that the government was witholding, while telling people it’s all about their willpower, would you shame them?
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If there was a cure for OCD’s that the government was witholding, while telling people it’s all about their willpower, would you shame them?
Not sure I follow the analogy. As an aside, isn’t there medication for OCD?
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It’s legs day today: cue the Scott Steiner theme music.
Q. What is more common that fatties in America?
A. People on Muhammad Ali’s dick.
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As a non-smoker, I would never seriously date a smoker, although I’m aware alot of people only smoke in bars/while drinking.
I also have a theory that a girls who smoke have a higher correlation of one night stands or 1 – 3 dates before the bang probability.
No kidding?!?
The puritans here managed to ban smoking in bars. WORST LAW EVER. It made the bars just like high school: the cooler people are always going out to smoke and of course the best stuff happens there. What was the point of not taking up smoking as a teen if they do this?
Smoker girls rule.
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Kthula,
I don’t care. Call me anything you like.
“Having a sound argument and presenting it like a person who isn’t mentally ill and irrationally obsessed with boosting his own ego by shaming others, helps people.”
Ha ha! No, it doesn’t. Enjoy your delusions.
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PA, the U.S. government actually spreads misinformation about nutrition that doctors in other countries would be ashamed to publish. People really don’t know how to eat there, and are kind of…goaded into choices that are really really bad for them.
Vegans/vegetarians are at especially high risk in this. They think they’re making a healthier choice, and most are totally ignorant of how to balance their moral decision, which is legitimate, with their actual biology, which is that of a predator.
What people are eating is making them fat, and also making them crave more of the same kind of thing that’s making them fat. Their nutritionists are lying to them, along with the USDA and the vast majority of diet gurus.
It’s not just sugar…it’s too much wheat and oils that are supposedly healthier, but they’re non foods that the body was not built to metabolize in the quantities that folks are getting, even if they restrict their calorie intake to reasonable levels.
Do you know how much actual corn you would have to eat to naturally get a teaspoon of corn oil?
How much willpower do you figure someone who’s been lied to should have to not have been lied to by the people entrusted to inform them about health?
Do you think they’ll learn how to stop eating too much wheat, soy, corn oil, kanola oil, and other things they’ve been told are good for them from being called pigs?
How about if we call them fatty McFatikan Fatwalkers?
Hideous sows? You think that’ll explain it?
I just figure that if I’m going to be in an argument at all, I should probably…oh, I dunno…argue.
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Okay, John, go to a vegan forum and start calling people names, and get back to me when one of them miraculously understands that soy should only be eaten sparingly, as a result of your namecalling.
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Kthula: I agree with you that it’s a challenge for some to stay thin in the US. You might be right about the governent stuff, I dunno for a fact. Also, there are hormones in our food that do us no good.
But know fat people. As the saying goes, “they aren’t like you and I.” Munching on bags of potato chips. Drinking sodas. Eating gigantic portions at lunch and dinner. Gorging on fast food and donuts.
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@bitopia
all analogies are incomplete, and this one is particularly lame.
You want to assert that obesity should be normalized, that it should not be shamed. Obesity is destructive to body and soul. It is difficult for many, but it can be dealt with. It should be shamed for prevention and contagion. I advocate compassion once it has happened, but we aught not normalize it.
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@kthula,
You prefer to believe there exists some ideal composition of food that has been denied you. Fact: it is not what you eat, but how much you eat.
http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/360/9/859
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Non-Smokers.
Always the most boring people at the table.
– MPM
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Yes, there exists a vast U.S. Government conspiracy to keep your fat ass fat.
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Some advice for all the gym fatties out there: get yourself a heart rate monitor, learn how to use it, and actually USE IT when you work out. You want to get your heart rate up to a certain range, but not OVER that range, to improve your aerobic fitness and your body’s ability to burn fat:
http://www.duathlon.com/articles/1460
While the article above is geared towards athletes, the same principle applies towards non-athletes too. Hungry Hungry Hippos Yo got it right – too many people in the gym doing meaningless low intensity cardio, day in and day out. Or conversely, they work out at too great of an intensity too often, get burned out or injured, and as a result, give up.
Oh, and one last thing – stop eating so much!
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come on Ktullah! The government, wheat producers, nutritionists, diet gurus, everybody is lieing, everybody is wrong but the obese people themselves????
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Bitch got an ass so big you can see it from the front!
And word… most people don’t understand exercise science. Makes me laugh when I hear a fat bitch talk about going to the gym and exercising.
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Is Kthulah saying that eating whole-grains is bad?
Seriously?!?!?!
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c’mon roissy, i want to hear about nascar!!
nascar: alpha or beta?
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Kthulah on February 26, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Thanks for that enlightening comment. Now put the donut down and hit the gym.
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Why is Kthulah of all people discussing weight loss? She’s obese.
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As someone who lived for a long time in Europe, I can only agree sadly with those who remarked on the fatness of Americans. I’m not talking about the shapely plumpness of Toccara, I’m talking the shapeless blob fat that you see all over the streets here. I’m not sure what the explanation is, but I think one factor is the empty calories that gets mixed into so many products in the form of corn syrup. Anyway, I agree that a certain amount of shaming should be put in place to rectify this situation (for which we are mocked around the world, btw).
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Yea Dudley too many people in the world leading meaningless lives. That is correct.
Should just kill people that are fat, gay, too religious, not religious, too thin, too short, too tall, too old, work at meaningless jobs, or any other politically correct bandwagon that comes along then the world will be a better place and everyone that is left will be eternally happy. Do you think the world is so great that you wouldn’t be doing them a favor. Do a favor kill a different person today save them from a lifetime of pain should be the motto.
Killing should become a way of life doing good ain’t got no end.
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–…or hell, even “common triggers suicide”?—
Please, pull it!
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Kthulah,
“Okay, John, go to a vegan forum and start calling people names, and get back to me when one of them miraculously understands that soy should only be eaten sparingly, as a result of your namecalling.”
Thanks for proving my point. You are ranging a bit far afield from the original discussion, but your puerile attempts at logic are entertaining.
You assume that having a sound argument and presenting it without malice or trying to boost one’s ego (paraphrasing your words) will work. It does not. If you have spent any amount of time on Roissy’s blog and read with comprehension you would understand that most people prefer their pretty lies.
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Ah…I knew the bandwagon would get rolling.
So let me get this straight:
If a male who has never been fat touts the paleo diet, getting unaddicted from simple carbs, and not eating fake food, or copious amounts of toxic foods chock full of estrogen mimicking chemicals, he’s giving sound advice.
If I, who have been much fatter than I am now, actually suffered from eating wrong (and not burgers and donuts wrong, pasta and low cholesterol wrong) with photographic documentation of my weight loss progress, say the *exact* same thing, I’m a fatty fatever, who’s clinically insane.
Right…
This is what I mean about shaming.
Shaming is the method of the ignorant and the irrational, who believe they can prove their superiority by behaving inferior.
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John, the solution to a lie is the truth, not this crayon is purple.
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jaakkeli:
What I find absolutely most irritating about the smoking bans is not so much that I can’t enjoy lighting up with a beer (even though IMO it’s one of the greatest pleasures available to mortals). What irritates me the most is that they make me feel chaperoned when I go out. I’m in a bar full of adults, most of whom would also like to have a smoke, but the government nannies say no-no and will diligently watch over us to punish any transgression, like a teacher supervising the kids during school break.
This is especially true for smaller, casual, rock’n’roll-dive-type venues. The ridiculous feeling of being chaperoned has almost completely destroyed my enjoyment in hanging out in such places. (It also explains why today’s lefties instinctively support such measures — nothing turns them on so much as the idea of another informal and anarchic aspect of people’s lives being placed under tight control and supervision by the Benevolent Government.)
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Gunslingergregi – “meaningless” cardio…in that the fatties THINK they’re actually burning some fat when they’re sitting on the recumbent stationary bike, spinning at 40 RPM in the easiest possible gear, reading a magazine, and talking on their cell phone.
They’d burn as many calories simply picking their nose…
ella guru made a good point about the shocking amount of high fructose corn syrup that’s consumed in the diet of the average American…so I revise my earlier comment – it’s not simply about eating less (although that’s certainly a good start), the fatties gotta learn to eat healthy. Want a snack? Eat a piece of fruit!
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Roissy says, “if a few spiral into suicidal depression from shaming, consider it natural selection in action.
gotta cull the herd. it’s better than letting the inmates run the asylum.”
The problem is that fatal depression isn’t always *sui*cidal.
I can think of a few names of people for whom shaming was ineffective in reducing their harmful tendencies or driving them towards suicide…well, not at least before taking some of the idiot pseudo darwinists down with them.
You learn some things in life in order to survive in the real world, and not your mom’s basement. One is don’t write checks with your mouth that your ass can’t cash.
Shaming people might seem like fun on the internet, even though it’s still stupid. But kids, don’t try this offline.
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lovely lem:
but you sure can tell if someone is fat and pick them apart at will.
oh, i pick apart the liars, losers, nerds, betas, fuglies, dregs, deluded fantasists, bores, mediocrities, backstabbers, weasels, sycophants, sophists, degenerates, dullards, eunuchs, trolls, wishful thinkers, wall victims, excuse mongers, whackjobs, equalist tards, dumbfucks, obsequious curs, attention whores, suckups, PC toadies, fembots, lapdogs, shitlickers, pity whores, phonyfucks, hypocrites, parasites, stool pigeons, sanctimonious, and weak-willed assmunching ankle grabbing bitchboy pukes as well.
it’s not hard to tell who they are, either. especially after i’ve turned my patented mindfuck probe on them.
freak on a leash:
John, how effective would me calling you a moron be in getting you to actually Google “gastric bypass suicide”?
newsflash: you’re freakishness and mental derangement is not evidence that the norm of human behavior is anything like what you imagine it to be.
If there was a cure for OCD’s that the government was witholding, while telling people it’s all about their willpower, would you shame them?
your hyotheticals are as pointless as your head is bulbous. if you knew the government was withholding a cure for a certain mental disease, you’ve got bigger problems to tackle than whether or not to shame the nutcase.
Forget about what’s right. Let’s talk about what’s effective.
if a few spiral into suicidal depression from shaming, consider it natural selection in action.
gotta cull the herd. it’s better than letting the inmates run the asylum.
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Ktulah,
“John, the solution to a lie is the truth, not this crayon is purple.”
You’re missing my point and proving it at the same time. Making an argument using facts is not more likely to convince someone to agree with your point of view. Just because you believe a fact is true does not necessarily mean any one else will.
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We shouldn’t normalize obesity, but we could at least try to treat them as smokers,
I don’t think its true at all that we treat obese persons badly purely due to their unhealthy lifestyle.
And, to be obese up to BMI like 35, is not that unhealthy, the worst part is when they: smoke and/or, having Diabetes and/or drinking.
Europe, where i’m from, is spared from such epidemic obesity, what i can see as a big difference is the huge amount of sugar they use in US, and the huge portions. one of my friends always bring dried meat from the states when she comes visiting, and OMG, even that contains sugar, im so surprised because this can taste extremely well without sugar, and would be much healthier.
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I for one would like to plug P90X. I’ve been rocking that shit for almost two months now and I can say that it is badass.
Anyone that wants to trim up should look that shit up. You download it off of the torrents or *gasp* even go so far as to actually pay for it.
Kthulah, if you are in fact a fatty in the midst of reform, I applaud you. Put down the simple sugars/carbs, start eating some protein and veggies, and start sweating that fat ass off. Make certain to mix some weight-training with your cardio!
Also, would you be so kind as to provide us with pictures of your bare naked ass please?
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John says, “You’re missing my point and proving it at the same time. Making an argument using facts is not more likely to convince someone to agree with your point of view. Just because you believe a fact is true does not necessarily mean any one else will.”
I cannot control other people. I can only control myself. Since I am the only one under my control, then it’s my job to make sure that my ducks are in a row before anyone else’s.
If I present my argument, and it is not believed, I can, if I have the patience, try to word it other ways in order to get them to understand if there has been a misunderstanding. If they still refuse to believe, despite being presented with evidence or at least directed to the evidence, then there is nothing more I can do. Nature and life will teach them what I cannot.
…and Nature is a much crueler Mistress than I could even wish to be.
She has no mercy on the stupid.
So trust nature, and be at peace.
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wacko:
You learn some things in life in order to survive in the real world, and not your mom’s basement.
would your ridiculous “argument” become any less ridiculous if i posted my evisceration of it from my mom’s basement?
One is don’t write checks with your mouth that your ass can’t cash.
keith, is that you?
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Thank you for the encouragement, KaB…I think.
Uh…no photos of my ass though. I’m an old reforming fatty. Besides, with so many out there already, it would be redundant.
Also, see…I have this little problem.
When I was slim, I didn’t exactly have an ass. I had a back with a crack. It’s sad, but true. I looked like a guy with boobs. 😦
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come on Ktullah! The government, wheat producers, nutritionists, diet gurus, everybody is lieing, everybody is wrong but the obese people themselves????
The government is of course either lying (having been bribed by interest groups) or bullshitting (having been taken over by whatever fashionable nonsense happens to be PC at the time). If government advice made you too fat to score, it’s just Darwinism in action. People who listen to governments should be bred out.
Wheat producers are obviously lying. Duh. No one is going to tell you ugly truths about the product they’re trying to sell.
Nutritionists and diet gurus are also lying. It’s their business. I’ve been fat and I’ve found weight loss utterly trivial: drop the carbs, don’t worry about fat and eat lots of protein. Unfortunately, it means no snacks, no junk food, no soft drinks, no fruit juice, no beer, no sugary crap of any kind, so people don’t want to hear it. Instead they’re willing to pay some guru who promises them that there’s a magic way to eat and lose weight or a magic way to lose weight really fast so that you can quickly go back to your diet of potato chips.
I know fat people and it’s the same with all of them, no matter what they tell themselves. I know the recipe to losing weight and none of them are willing to listen to me, since my recipe is no fun and not quick.
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Kthulah,
You say you can’t control other people and yet you still try.
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Losing weight…it’s really not that hard. I really don’t buy all the junk on how hard it is for some obese/fat people to lose weight.
Lay off the Krispy Kremes. Lay off the Coldstone Creamery. Lay off the hyper-processed food. It’s not that you can’t have sweets and dairy and all that stuff but how much. A medium coke in the US is large or extra large in Europe and Asia.
If anything, eat more times but less food. 5 or 6 times a day (3 meals, 2 to 3 snacks). Dietary habits are hard to change just like any other habit. If you want to be rich, fit, or whatever, go look at what a rich person of fit person is doing and gradually change your lifestyle (if you’re hard-core then go for shock treatment. Like the Japanese bath, it’ll jolt you into reality).
I’ve been exercising/body building for 9 years. Half of that time I free-lanced. Then I started working with trainers to ‘get to the next level’. Didn’t happen. They kept increasing my reps and weights and I didn’t really see the gains I was looking for. It wasn’t until I spoke to a nutritionist that I realized I just needed to keep working out and change my diet.
While I started eating more salads, had less fruit juices (used to buy 8 boxes every 2 weeks), the BIGGEST change was just to
Drink more water.
If any obese/fat person just drank water with every meal instead of soda/juice/coffee/tea/carbonated crap…I promise you they’d lose weight.
Long story short. Exercise important. Diet more important.
And stop with the useless low intensity yoga, walking, stretching and whatever. See all that sweat? That’s salt and water. Not much else happening there.
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Agreed. Seriously, dude, that girl is deceiving herself.
But is there really a purpose in tearing down her self esteem like that?
There’s no purpose to life, hedonism, I know. But there’s no need to make people miserable either.
But I guess she should have thought about her sensitivity before posting on a nonPC blog.
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Roissy, here’s a clue for you:
I’m accusing you of being so desperate for a meagre ego fix that you blindly “attack” people for no good reason except that they challenge your belief (or desired belief) in your superiority over them.
…and what’s odd is that in this situation, you’re basing your presumed superiority on nothing more than being slim and liking slim women.
…and then you go and prove me right, again and again.
I don’t care who you like to fuck. Shaming is counterproductive to your stated goals, which are supposedly, waking people up and showing them the truth.
You know, a smarter guy would have used my case as an example that even with hormonal issues, much could be corrected with a proper diet.
…but no, you’d rather play wannabe online playground bully.
For goodnes sake, have some dignity.
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Fatties DO pay a penalty in America. No guy wants to love them.
Sure, adults don’t openly taunt fat adults, and there is safefty in numbers. But if a woman is fat, she drops below the ‘Internet porn’ threshold, and no guy is interested in her.
So a fat woman is not able to achieve love. Plus, a fat American woman is uncompetitive against a thinner foreign woman (some foreign women get fat too, though).
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Getting in shape is not hard and not fucking rocket science. Just don’t eat a metric fuckton of bad foods and lift weights 3x a week for an hour and you will make progress. Women (and men, although I encounter it a lot more with women) a lot of the time will not listen to reason about the best ways to train/diet and doing squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc. Seen 1 girl in my life do a squat in the squat rack. Cardio will only get you so far.
I’ve seen it too with a lot of the guys in my hometown – some pretty cool, attractive looking guys with beastly wives. I don’t even want to hang out with these people because honestly, I don’t ever want to turn into them. In my area it’s horrible…I look around at bars and see mostly guys who are in shape but only women who at the very least have muffin tops. I’ve spent more Friday nights than i’d like to admit debating what threshold of fatness a girl needs to pass before I can ask her for her number.
If I get married and my wife gains 50lbs of fat because she can’t be bothered to train and eat properly, i’m divorcing her ass. It’s pretty disrespectful in a relationship to basically say that you don’t care about the other person’s sexual needs at all. It also signals to me you just don’t give a fuck about taking care of yourself.
And, speaking from experience, shame was what got me going to get in shape. Although I wasn’t horribly depressed or anything, as a logical human being I knew that being out of shape had gotten out of hand. What pushed me over the edge was, interestingly enough, getting rejected by a girl. Honestly I wish I had encountered more shame about my body, because it would have motivated me to get in shape earlier in life – I am much happier for it now. However, I never made it to truly fat status…most people would just have called me a bit chubby.
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And yes, it is not that hard to lose weight, AND to correct a wide array of health maladies, with a proper diet. This has been discussed in detail on another thread.
In America, the default is a terrible diet. Even most thin people have terrible diets in America. America is to dietary health what North Korea and Zimbabwe are to economics.
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I am surprised how few women do squats. It is the best way to rapidly construct a superb ass and toned legs. Yet, they don’t do it.
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Yes, I always thought it was funny how people seem to think eating “low fat” will help them lose weight, when the truth is that eating has never been an effective means of weight loss.
I’ve thought it would be a good business venture to run a wilderness fat farm. I could guarantee a loss of fifteen pounds a month simply by dropping the porkers off by helicopter on some mountain trail twenty miles from the nearest road. Make ’em hike to the trailhead for a meal, then fly ’em back out and repeat until they’re skinny. Wouldn’t take long.
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John, in what way am I trying to control people?
Having a convincing argument is key to influencing people, but it’s not the same as trying to control them (nonconsensually). Of course any social interaction has elements of influence.
However, the line between influence and attempts to control is like the line between passion and obsession. I love to discuss things with people and exchange ideas…and if I see a problem, to find a solution. I do not try to impose my will on other people through psychological torture.
Well, unless they ask for it.
Jaakkeli says, “I know the recipe to losing weight and none of them are willing to listen to me, since my recipe is no fun and not quick.”
Heh…but once you get going, there’s no turning back. Your body rewards you for doing right by it.
Ethan, I’d add to lay off any Krispy Kreme like ingredients as well. White bread, pasta, and the like should be occasional treats, if eaten at all. A bowl of spaghetti is like two donuts. 😦
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Kthulah,
Yes, control. Making an argument is trying to force others to see things the way you see them. That is not an attempt to influence.
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John, you actually view argument as force?
How would having a (presumably valid) argument be trying to force someone to think a certain way, and shaming not?
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biktopia
You won’t give up the falacious “analogies” will you? All analogies are incomplete. Obesity is not nicotine addiction. what do you not understand about this?
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That wins the “Perfect Analogy of the Day Award” for me. Nicely said, Tood.
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Welmer, the problem would be what will happen when you send them back home.
I believe that eating does alot for the body chemistry. It’s not just about calories in-calories out. That has to do with weight on the fly, but not weight management as a part of health maintenance. You have to be giving your body the right fuel for the job.
Sedentary people need less fuel, but people weren’t really made to be as sedentary as most are today. Our appetites haven’t reduced enough for our activity levels, and well…in my opinion, it would really suck to be a noodle anyway.
So people should pick physical activities they can do regularly and actually enjoy, and make activity part of daily living.
My things aside of the basics and stretching are belly dancing and walking.
I have an aunt though, who combined exercise with work, and started cleaning office buildings as a second job. The extra money was nice to have, plus she noticed that once her kids grew up, she was getting boredom chubby from not having enough to do.
Most of us were built for a life of labor, being farmers or nomads. We weren’t built for sitting at a desk 8+ hours a day, eating and sleeping.
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America, or at least California, seems to be a land full of the extremes in regards to weight. Lots of enormously fat chicks and lots of malnourished looking skinny chicks. Of course the extremely skinny chicks are more attractive then the fat chicks, but they don’t do it for me either. A little bit of weight goes along way to giving a women some ideal feminine features.
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The obesity epidemic *might* be self-solving.
It’s because of cheap food that is very convenient. No cooking required, and filling (though bad for you). In turn that’s based on cheap energy prices being stable in the post-War era. Overall, despite a few oil shocks, energy has been cheap making food (who’s main input is energy) cheap also.
Next, the disappearance of hard manual labor that burned lots of calories and the changing of urban life to suburban auto-driven life was a big factor. People fled to suburbs to avoid (mostly Black) crime and have their own space and privacy and yards, something available only to the rich before hand.
Desegragation and the end of Jim Crow probably owes at least as much to the private auto and suburbs as it does to Dr. King. But the price of that has been at least in part, trading off a segregated, racist society that required people to walk everywhere (in part because they were far less wealthy and could not afford cars) along with limited expensive food, for one of desgregation, end of racism, and White and Black middle classes congregating into safe suburbs, with cheap food and no daily exercise.
Tom Joad did not need a gym, he was thin as hell because he was starving half the time. Even during “good times” in the 1920’s, daily life required a lot of physical labor that burned calories and food was not cheap, easy, or convenient.
I suspect with a crashing depression, loss of income, and the requirement for hard physical labor for some things, we will see less obesity on the margins.
But to cut the epidemic radically, shame is not going to work (though clearly part of the equation). Rather, it means making food expensive (a politically risky move that has brought down most governments and rulers in history) and labor, hard physical labor, a part of daily life.
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I make my girlfriend get me fresh vegetables from the local market every day, and start each day with a big glass of carrot juice with a squirt of lemon. I often ask her “did you put love in it?”, and she confirms that she did. She gets a kick of playing gesha. Eating well is an essential pleasure.
And I don’t let her get fat. If she starts to get fat, I say “You’re getting fat. Go on a diet”. I’ve had to do that a few times. I don’t let that kind of thing get out of hand.
I’m not of the school that when a girl asks you “does this dress make you look fat” you answer in some way that makes her feel good about herself. If her ass is fat, you should have told her already. I never put up with any begging for confirmation. When someone does that I just act irritated and tell her to look in the mirror. I’ll give compliments when they match my feelings, but not on demand. And sparing feelings regarding fat is not helpful.
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Kthulah,
“How would having a (presumably valid) argument be trying to force someone to think a certain way, and shaming not?”
That’s a false dichotomy.
Argument is confrontational and therefore will not have the effect you desire. It is an attempt to force the person you are arguing with to conform to your personal beliefs. I have yet to see it work.
Shaming uses social proof to influence an individual’s behavior to conform to the group norm. You can view that as force if you want.
Groups do a better job of influencing behavior than any single argument.
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Lemmonex:
This whole thing makes me sort of sad in the sense that people who struggle with their weight just wear their issues on their sleeve (or on the XL shirts) so it is easier to pick them apart. You can’t tell immediately when you meet someone at a bar that they are insecure, cruel, abusive, has a small dick, is impotent, is selfish, etc. but you sure can tell if someone is fat and pick them apart at will.
Good point.
Yet, that being said, it is pretty obvious that the thinner you are the better you can pull. I once got raked over the coals by some girlfriends for saying about a guy “I would have dated him when I was fat”. But let’s be real here: I never would date my boyfriend from the fatty days now. I had to put up with some serious BS from him but it was what I could tack down.
If it makes you feel any better, I consider your current appearance more than adequate to inflate my corpus cavernosum.
P.S. This thing’s not gonna suck itself.
P.P.S. Hey Roissy, you got any old fatty pics of Lem that you would like to share with the class? I’m curious.
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Whiskey, in my opinion, towns should be arranged in ways that people can get their needs met by walking and public transportation…including the need to be outside and play or hang out or whatever. This would mean however, that there would need to be a real police presence, because Americans, despite having access to guns, aren’t self policing.
Lots of things about the culture would have to change or revert to the old days when most people didn’t have a car.
Until then, folks need to make due with what they have.
My mom tried just about every diet Oprah promoted, but kept gaining the weight back until I and a friend of hers finally convinced her to make time to go walking daily. They have a posse of four or five women who all go walking together for safety and company.
It really got me thinking…Here I can walk alone in most places, even at night, and feel almost perfectly safe, despite racial issues. There in the U.S. my mom can’t do that. 😦
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bulbous headcase:
Roissy, here’s a clue for you:
I’m accusing you of being so desperate for a meagre ego fix that you blindly “attack” people for no good reason except that they challenge your belief (or desired belief) in your superiority over them.
i don’t attack fatties who understand the negative effects their fat has on them. my sadism is reserved for those fatties, like heather, who wish to claim that their obesity has no deleterious consequences for their lives.
…and what’s odd is that in this situation, you’re basing your presumed superiority on nothing more than being slim and liking slim women.
superiority ain’t got nothing to do with it. the facts are enough to put the lie to heather’s claims. namely, that the overwhelming majority of men prefer slender babes.
hth.
…and then you go and prove me right, again and again.
headcases such as yourself often see victory where there is none.
Shaming is counterproductive to your stated goals, which are supposedly, waking people up and showing them the truth.
those are not my goals. i’m here to amuse myself. if my cruelty happens to cause one fatass to drop the chalupa and slim down to a sexy weight, well then i consider that collateral beautification.
your other point that shaming is counterproductive is simply false. if it didn’t work, so many people like yourself wouldn’t be up in arms about my advocacy of it as social policy.
You know, a smarter guy would have used my case as an example that even with hormonal issues, much could be corrected with a proper diet.
oh, i’m using you as an example, but not in the way you like.
…but no, you’d rather play wannabe online playground bully.
bully? please, blob. that diminishes the glory of my works. i am the krell machine.
For goodnes sake, have some dignity.
by whose judgment?
Welmer, the problem would be what will happen when you send them back home.
the undisciplined ones would get fat again and die alone and unloved in their piano cases.
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John says, “Argument is confrontational and therefore will not have the effect you desire. It is an attempt to force the person you are arguing with to conform to your personal beliefs. I have yet to see it work.”
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
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Tupac, I am honestly interested as to why what I used to look like makes a lick of difference.
They are out there but Roissy doesn’t have them.
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Kthulah,
“Do you believe in Santa Claus?”
Yes, he was the Bishop of Myra and a righteous man. He was more real than your misguided belief that arguments work.
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tupe of earl:
Hey Roissy, you got any old fatty pics of Lem that you would like to share with the class?
no, but even if i did i would burn them all because i prefer to remember lem at her cutest.
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Lem:
Tupac, I am honestly interested as to why what I used to look like makes a lick of difference.
No difference…I just have a soft spot for frogs-into-princesses stories.
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This will be something I regret but I am feeling masochistic today: http://lemmonex.com/2009/01/06/ask-lemmonex-the-weight-post/
Roissy, avert your eyes.
A good reminder that these fatties you hate are real people.
Also, I am not a princess…I am the queen. That is all.
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I still don’t get that people only want to punish people on earth emotionally, financially, and verbally; torture is fine, or give them a bad piece of paper for life but keep them alive as slaves and a beating post for fun (oh wait I think that might actually be a womans view/white liberal peoples view). They wouldn’t have the decency to kill someone who is all fucked up per their own criteria.
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leave lemmy ‘lone
if she truthfully cooks (for a SO) the stuff she says she does, she is allowed by Man Club to sport a few extra.
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Hmmm…
To Hit…
or not To Hit…?
That, indeed, is the question.
Need more data.
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if she truthfully cooks (for a SO) the stuff she says she does, she is allowed by Man Club to sport a few extra.
Absolutely.
I wouldn’t have known this until I was the fortunate recipient of the cooking skills of a gal I once dated.
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All kidding aside, nice work.
I’ll be keeping an eye on you…
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luscious lem:
This will be something I regret but I am feeling masochistic today:
like pontius pilate, i wash my hands of the mob’s judgment.
Roissy, avert your eyes.
give me something distracting.
A good reminder that these fatties you hate are real people.
serial killers are real people too.
however, i must correct you. speaking for myself, i don’t hate fatties. contempt is a better word. and i target my contempt only against those fatties who justify their lack of discipline with lies. i want to discourage the acceptance of obesity. think of it as environmental activism.
Also, I am not a princess…
you’re just drawn that way.
I am the queen.
playing with the queen of hearts.
That is all.
for now.
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“i want to discourage the acceptance of obesity. think of it as environmental activism.”
fucking brilliant.
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If Heather’s happy the way she is then fantastic especially knowing/experiencing all the risks and downfalls, great for her. I sure hope she doesn’t promote it in any way to other people as a lifestyle, because she is 100% in the minority of happy + “fat”. She’s an example of how surprising people can be, and she pointed that out herself. She’s a surprise, an exception, etc.
My dad is obese and a smoker. For years, ever since I can remember (being 19 now), he has repeatedly said that he is going to die. And soon. He constantly suffers from medical problems, from his skin (pigments, ulcers, fungi) to his feet to his lungs to his bowel habits to acid reflux (indigestion, folks) to bad dentition to really loud snoring to to…
What the hell did I do as a child that I deserved to have to constantly look after him (creams, taking blood pressure) and still have occasional nightmares where he dies including — I kid you not — I mistakenly give him a chocolate box for his birthday, which gives him a heart attack and he dies?
Please, Heather, don’t have kids, especially since they will probably follow in your footsteps and be in the 99.9% who feel miserable because of it.
There’s a lovely thing known in medicine called the metabolic syndrome: central obesity (i.e. fat around your abdominal area), hypertension (pathological blood pressure) and diabetes. He has it. This ups your chance of stroke, heart attacks, everything under the sun going wrong and badly: especially your kidneys and your eyes. Surgery and pregnancy for an obese person is risky, to say the least.
I just read a comment on a blog recently where a man had his blood pressure taken by his UK GP and it was over the 200s and 100s systolic/diastolic respectively (that’s rush-him-to-the-hospital-now bad). What did this crazy doctor do? NOTHING, not even one bit of medication. From a doctor’s point of view, this guy had a high risk of organ failure (resulting in death)… so it wasn’t the ethical thing to do. The patient was acutely resentful at first, but driven to desperate measures and being a health professional himself: he ate healthily, gave up smoking if I recall correctly and exercised more. His blood pressure returned to normal and he feels grateful to the guy.
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The poster with a BMI of 21 who said people say he is too skinny reminds me of myself. My BMI is 22 on a 6′ 2″” frame. I lift weights, but just enough to maintain a reasonable muscle mass, not a Joe Beach. I do that to stay in shape, but also for the health benefits. Active muscle is very good for your metabolism. Think improved glucose tolerance. Think about avoiding the metabolic syndrome and early heart disease.
Anyway, I have suffered verbal abuse from women for my physique, when spending quality time with ladies:
“You’re strong, for a little guy”, said one young lady.
Another opined, in an intimate moment:
“Your’re well endowed, for a skinny guy.”
(Excellent examples illustrating the adage that “less is more” !)
So, it looks like girls subtract points if a guy looks skinny. They also subtract points if he is hardworking, studious, intelligent, and a non-asshole. Then they complain about the quality of men.
Well, I used to be 35 pounds heavier (just fat.) I finally realized, while watching the history channel showing inmates in a Nazi work camp at the end of the war, that every inmate was skinny. I finally realized that everybody will lose weight if they just cut back on their eating. Your fat friends will try to frustrate your efforts. Women in general are pathetic when it comes to eating healthy.
We should declare obesity to be a mental disorder with serious physical consequences.
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And, of course, the famous CDC animation must always be linked in threads like these:
http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/trend/maps/
What changed so drastically, so quickly, is the question? It’s not like cars were introduced…
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Just out of curiosity, is anyone on this thread a medical professional?
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@ Jerry
Paramedic and also certified personal trainer.
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Federal Subsidies for huge agriculture corporations have given us the current obesity epidemic.
Think: High Fructos CORN Syrup.
The demonization of animal protein and fat. There’s a reason why the Atkins diet was so popular…it works.
We have incisors in our teeth and hydrochloric acid in our bellies. We are physiological omnivores…which means MEAT.
The promotion of vegetarian diets, in which ignorant masses think grains = plants, and = vegetables, so grains = healthy.
As Kthulah said (on what must be the only thing I think I’ve agreed with her here on), vegetable oil has become the most ubiquitous fat in the American food supply…especially the partially hydrogenated variety. You know how many soybeans or corn you’d have to eat to get the equivalent amount of oil in 1 tbsp of mass produced, federally subsidized vegetable oil? The human body was not designed or hasn’t evolved to digest, metabolize and use it the way it is currently mass produced and consumed.
Back in the days before margarine and vegetable oil have proliferated in the food supply, the primary fats used in cooking were butter, lard and beef tallow…you know, back in the day when obesity was rare and nowhere near the epidemic it is today.
If you are overweight, you don’t even need to exercise to lose weight. Just stop eating all sugars, vegetable oils, all processed grains and grain products (bread, pasta, rice, corn, potatoes), and if you do eat any kind of grain product, make sure it is whole grain AND that it is only about 30% of your total meal – with proteins and fats comprising the majority of your meal.
You WILL lose weight. Happened with me, and with every single person I know that has tried it.
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Hey, don’t scold the dame….
She made a lifestyle choice, and she’s fine with it (or at least that’s what she has told herself).
The problem is that she’s probably written off an active life of physical activity and dating as unattainable. It’s a shame, but that’s her values.
(By the way, her description of her lifestyle–perhaps not honestly described–makes it sounds as though she remains active–maybe even more active than people on this comment thread!)
For a reality check, go to this photo gallery of people by height and weight . Look at the example of someone 5’5 at 185 doesn’t seem monstrous .
Finally, who appointed Roissy to pass judgment on people he barely knows? Did you know for example that a percentage of women have thyroid problems which make them prone to gaining weight? Do you know that some medications cause weight gain? Do you know that family background (genetic and nongenetic) contribute to weight gain? In Texas where I live, for example, the Mexican population is particularly prone to obesity. Do I like it? Of course not. Do I criticize them? Not really–but I’d probably never date an obese person.
This woman’s comment was meant to indicate that she does not accept your value system or your standard of judgment. In the PUA world, having an active dating line is a definition of success, but in many worlds, this definition seems shallow, empty, stupid.
Hey, that girl was 30.8 BMI—I remember I was that high for a while (I got it down to 27 and am working to bring it down even more). Do I feel healthier now? Sure. Do I feel more attractive to women? Probably. But even when I was a 30 BMI fatty, I still felt relatively happy and well-adjusted. (fyi, the reason I was 30 BMI was not directly related to overeating; it was working a lot of overtime at my IT job–and not owning a bathroom scale!).
Michael Blowhard linked to something which disproved the old canard about 2nd law of thermodynamics applying to diet and nutrition. Here’s the link again . As H.L. Menken said, “For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.”
Roissy, I enjoy your insights into dating and romance (and I understand that you need to find something to write about), but stop picking on easy targets.
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Whenever I have a craving for junk food/chocolate, I drink coffee (skim milk, none or little sugar). No the best habit, but could be worse.
Coffee is, and will always be my addiction and I really don’t care, because it’s pretty much served everywhere in the world.
Also, avocado, olive oil, and spinach, and sweet potatoes are my prime foods (well, if olive oil were a food) I can truly believe! Haha.
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Random
“I’ve seen it too with a lot of the guys in my hometown – some pretty cool, attractive looking guys with beastly wives. I don’t even want to hang out with these people because honestly, I don’t ever want to turn into them. In my area it’s horrible…I look around at bars and see mostly guys who are in shape but only women who at the very least have muffin tops.”
Where is this spot?
Got to make sure I cross it off my list.
– MPM
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@Bhetti,
Bhetti, you are so delightfully naive.. Think back on this in twenty years.
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@bhetti – wow, that CDC animation is really sad. how many years until all the states are red? 😦
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Talk if you want to about the supposed happiness or not of fat people, but being skinny and constantly hungry isn’t the way a person wants to live either. If you really want to motivate the masses don’t go around scaring them with this 200 calories a day nonsense.
I have a theory that if everyone who was overweight ate the recommended amount of fruits and vegetables daily they would never be hungry again and lose weight. Eating to lose weight is a matter of correct prioritizing. First the recommended intake of fruits and vegetables, then protein, then whole grains, then if you somehow have room left over after eating all that you can eat something else but I guarantee that that will be enough food, probably more than you can eat, and you’ll still lose weight and not have to worry about counting calories to do it. You won’t even want to know from food.
I prioritize fruits and veggies before protein because while they work in tandem the plant foods take up more volume and you’ll be eating them at every single meal to get them all in.
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Fatties need to be viciously shamed, almost as much as single mothers.
As the community outlier, I’ll probably disagree with the shaming of both groups. If you’re not attracted to fat women, just don’t ask them out. There’s no need to publically make fun of them.
Seriously. Why would you want to be slimmer than your girlfriend?
As a beanpole/scrawny guy, I must add that it’s easier for cramming into crowded spaces. Plus, you save a lot of money and time by avoiding public embarrassment at the gym…
the cooler people are always going out to smoke and of course the best stuff happens there. What was the point of not taking up smoking as a teen if they do this?
I must admit, at work, the cool people with nice stories all smoke. Hence why during break time, I’ll be found outside absorbing second hand smoke with the smokers listening to their tales.
This will be something I regret but I am feeling masochistic today:
March 2006 Lemmon looks pretty and has big boobies. 🙂
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Kthulah —
It is an unpleasant but nevertheless true fact that for towns to be “walkable” they must be crime-free. Which means locking up a great deal of Black and Hispanic people, and no toleration of the current encouragement to criminality that occurs both within the PC-bound SWPL society and within Black and Hispanic communities. Chief among them, selection of the thuggiest thug by women in those communities. This will never happen, so the US will be auto bound (because it buys social peace at the cost of fatness).
People never dieted in the 1900’s up through the early 1950’s. They were too hungry, and worked too hard. Look at photos from the 1910-‘s through the 1920’s, before the Depression and War Years rationing. Almost everyone is thin, because they expended a lot of calories in daily life. Food was expensive, almost nothing was mechanized, and the result was few net calories. THAT more than cheap corn syrup is responsible.
Making people non-obese is going to require the same degree of difficulty of changes required to make women not sleep with a few Alpha males.
A culture that requires deliberate and constant self-monitoring not to get fat will get fat. A culture that requires the same for non-promiscuous behavior will be promiscuous.
Taking diet advice from Oprah is like taking investment advice from MC Hammer. Like not being promiscuous, not being fat is not that complicated, but very hard to do. Which is why most people don’t do it.
As a practical matter, as long as energy is cheap food will be cheap and people will be fat. That’s about it.
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If you’re not attracted to fat women, just don’t ask them out.
I like seeing lots of eye candy on the streets of my country. If pretty girls let themselves get fat there is less eye candy and so they must be shamed for defiling my habitat.
smoking
I smoked through all of my twenties. There are few pleasures as sublime as having a smoke and a beer after a full day of hard work. Or driving cross country with a buddy at night with some bluesy song on a random radio station, lighting up a cig.
On the other hand, there is somethign to be said for being able to suck in a lungful of oxygen and not feel tired all the time.
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I believe that she’s telling the truth about the vegetarianism. There are many vegetarian mammals that weigh a lot.
For example, female pandas are around 5 feet tall and weigh about 300 pounds. They eat nothing but bamboo leaves, around 100 pounds of it a day.
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I like seeing lots of eye candy on the streets of my country.
Yes, and I’d like smart women with fake DD cup tits and 40 inch asses, lots of make up, slutty clothes, acrylic nails, and “clear heels”, but that’s not going to happen. Besides, even if the women slimmed down, you’d get more average looking women, not eye candy.
OTOH, you probably like the “cute 7s” with B cups.
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OTOH, you probably like the “cute 7s” with B cups.
Oh, I forgot to mention one more sublime pleasure: having a beer and a cigarette after making love to a cute 7 with B cups (or A cups, or sweetly flatchested)
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Nagel
Since I consider the epidemic of obesity to be an extraordinarily important event, I listened to the Taube tape. Despite his credentials the guy is a hopeless amatuer; he does not know what he does not know.
The basic thermodynamics of human metabolism have been studied in many ways for decades and the results are boringly consistent. ie, doing muscle work and metabolic work requires energy substrates. Individuals vary, somewhat, in how efficiently they function but maintaining body temp and climbing 6 flights of stairs etc. cannot happen without fuel. If more fuel is burned than eaten some part of your body will be turned into fuel.
This is key: Muscle tissue is almost the first to be burned if it is not being used. If it is being vigorously used it will be the last to be burned. Regardless of diet, going sedentary causes muscle loss, in fact.
Look at pictures of underfed mine/roadway workers. They still have muscles.
If there was a way to do lots of muscle work without much food calories NASA would love to hear about it. Space travelers need to work out constantly to perserve muscle mass. Food is limited in the capsule. These issues have been studied exhaustively. There is no mysterious body fuel from the 5th dimension. If anyone has to burn 3500 cal a day and eats only 3000 they shrink. If they work out a lot, the shrinkage will come from fat stores.
People look for complexity where there is none.
BTW, when people say diet and exercise “fail” they should think on the fact that drug rehab “fails” at about the same rate. And for the same reason.
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cute 7 with B cups (or A cups, or sweetly flatchested)
Shudder. Evil small tits. I’d need lots of beer to make an A cup girl look attractive…
If you’re going to shame the fat girls, I’m going to shame the A & B cup girls.
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People never dieted in the 1900’s up through the early 1950’s. They were too hungry, and worked too hard. Look at photos from the 1910-’s through the 1920’s, before the Depression and War Years rationing. Almost everyone is thin, because they expended a lot of calories in daily life. Food was expensive, almost nothing was mechanized, and the result was few net calories. THAT more than cheap corn syrup is responsible.
Whiskey, you’re hanging up on the myth of “eat less/exercise more.”
It really is about what you eat, not how much you eat.
When you eat healthy sources of protein and fat, your satiation signal works as it was supposed to. As soon as your full, you stop.
You don’t have to look at a subset of a certain time period to see the truth of this.
Look at cultures from around the world that eat cultural high fat/high protein diets…the Inuit, the Masai, the Polynesians…
…no obesity, no heart disease, no diabetes.
Prior to the 50’s, most American’s foods came from rural farming communities nationwide. When everyone had their milk delivered fresh from the local dairy. Even the cities had fresh produce from the nearby countrysides brought in daily.
The key difference is the rise of the big agricultural corporations that paid of the Government to promote grains and vegetable based oils as “healthy.” Ancel Keys produced a now disproven and debunked study that showed saturated fats were bad for you.
So everyone should use Corn oil, and vegetable oil based margarine instead of butter and lard that was the norm. Hell, McDonalds and most other fast food joints used beef tallow for their deep frying up until the 80’s. Now everything in just about every restaurant is frying with “vegetable” oil (soybean oil).
We went from a skinny nation that ate saturated fats and protein heavy meals like bacon, eggs cooked in butter and sausage for breakfast to the current paradigm of carbohydrate heavy meals like a bowl of grain-based cereals with low-fat or non-fat milk/soymilk, some fruit, maybe pastries and a sugary coffee.
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Evil small tits
I think you just wrote the funniest phrase in the English language. You are so wrong of course, as small titties are the reason to wake up every morning grateful for being alive, but props for humor.
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You are so wrong of course, as small titties are the reason to wake up every morning grateful for being alive, but props for humor.
Gotta disagree … nothing makes life worth living like thick, rich, luxuriant bushes, overflowing with magnificent aromas and flavors. Yum!
Peter
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Rum – I lost 30 lbs in 4 months eating a high fat/high protein/low-carb diet.
When I do eat carbs, I eat whole grains, and a wide variety of vegetables.
Because of the high fat/protein, I eat a typically higher calorie diet than most people…yet I’ve lost weight where people who eat much lower calories and workout harder still struggle with their weight.
To put it simply, not all calories are equal. A calorie of carbohydrate is metabolized and utilized very differently from a calorie of fat and a calorie of protein. 1000 calories of carbohydrates will make more fat tissue than 3000 calories of fat and protein.
It’s an absolute LIE that eating fat makes you fat.
Sugars and grain based starches all spike your blood sugar because it digests so quickly. That spike causes your body to produce insulin, which takes all that excess blood sugar and stores it as fat tissue.
Fats and proteins take a long time to digest…and as they gradually digest, it pretty much maintains a steady, even blood sugar level.
The important thing that Taubes covers is how the informational cascade has resulted in so much incorrect dietary and nutritional information has proliferated throughout society. His best works are his book and two articles he wrote for the NYT:
What if It’s All Been a Big Fat Lie?
Diet and Fat: A Severe Case of Mistaken Consensus
While exercise IS important, it is NOT the be all end all of losing weight. I’ve been there and done that. I’ve always exercised heavily…martial arts, surfing, hunting, hiking. Very active lifestyle. But I didn’t lose weight until I learned the truth about diet and nutrition.
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It crazy how some shit is.
Here are some people with losing weight problems, yet I have to eat at least 6 small portion meals a day to gain muscle, and weight.
Awesome.
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as small titties are the reason to wake up every morning grateful for being alive
small tits = man’s chest = you teh ghey
big tits = woman’s chest
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Hawaii
I would say you are right about the issue of food choices, mainly because fats/protein create more satiation per calorie taken in. One subjectively feels better and more energetic without too many carbs, which is all to the good.
However, the half life of insulin after release is mere minutes. Anything it does can be reversed in minutes by other harmones. I mean, if someone ate two jelly donuts, sat for an hour and then went on a six mile run they might feel awful but by the end of the run you would have less fat tissue than before you eating the donuts.
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@ The G Manifesto
“If another World War ever goes down, Russia will kick our heads in. And Russia will kick in our Ed Hardy wearing, wrist band wearing, fake tan wearing, designer jean wearing, and spiked hair wearing asses.”
In which decade (nay, century) do you reside? The physical fitness of the general population’s impact on a land war is almost inconsequential. When Russia had an opressive inner party ruling by dictate, they had to bankrupt themselves to keep up with the American military. Military funding hasn’t improved since they lost a bunch of satelite states and moved in a more Western direction as a society.
Their leaders can act like mobsters all they like, it doesn’t give them stealth bombers. We don’t send in the troops nowadays until any real military infastructure is a smoldering pile of rubble.
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@ David Alexander
“small tits = man’s chest = you teh ghey
big tits = woman’s chest”
Big tits are for pump and dump only. You just watch porn, where the women will be preserved on film in their youthful peak, so no problem for you.
Small tits are a must for a long term relationship. Otherwise those things are going to end up around her knees.
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O, my god, Pandas! That is Pupu’s field of recent expertise!
“female pandas are around 5 feet tall and weigh about 300 pounds. They eat nothing but bamboo leaves, around 100 pounds of it a day.”
These gals are causing a bamboo shortage in the DC metro!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2009/01/14/ST2009011401997.html
Pupu is hold on tight to her bamboo utensils!
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Otherwise those things are going to end up around her knees.
I’d rather take that chance then spend my years fucking an aging man with a vagina. Hell, at least you can do it MILF porn style, and fuck her while she sports a bra.
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I think you meant to say the First Law of Thermodynamics (conservation of energy) and not the Second.
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First law, second law? Whatever. I am just making it all up as I go.
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Friggin’ genius!
The human race never ceases to amaze me with its near-divine understanding of the physical world.
Thus, I propose a radical solution:
fat people should eat less.
Yes, I know, it sounds crazy. In fact, when I was a kid working at an Italian bakery (I am NOT Italian, but I have nothing against dagos, per se, some of my best friends are of that persuasion 🙂 ), I was stupefied by all the fatsos who came in to order a couple dozen donuts on the coffee break and still, somehow, managed to maintain a gargantuan girth.
“How,” I wondered, “could these people come in day after day, devoted to their singular pursuit of the almighty donut, and yet keep up such a rosy-cheeked rotundity despite their obvious expenditure of vast amounts of energy in pursuit of this wily, jelly-filled confection?”
Now I understand.
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This blogger deletes posts he doesn’t like; he reminds me of a Soviet commissar. By the way, the commenter who stated that Russia will take us over because we are fat: Russia has even more fatasses as a percentage of their shrinking population.
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Shame works. Just sometimes not well enough. Because sometimes other emotions is stronger than shame. And shame usually only happens in public, not when you’re sitting alone in your apartment hating on your life & stressing & freaking out or… whatever. Whatever makes people eat.
I’m overweight, for sure, & I hate it. But I also don’t think fat people are these disgusting, slovenly people that everyone on Roissy & Roosh’s blogs seem to think are DESERVING of other people’s abuse. Just because your flaws aren’t out in the open for everyone to see & judge, does that make me – or someone bigger than me – more deserving of public ridicule? Are your flaws easier to accept when you berate us for ours? I’ve heard people say that harping on fat people is the last acceptable form of discrimination. I wouldn’t go that far (plenty of other nastiness is still socially accepted), but I fail to understand why being overweight automatically makes a woman (or a man, but it’s more common for women) a more acceptable target of emotional abuse. Like we’re not already abusing ourselves & struggling with it? Just because you’re not interest in fucking someone doesn’t mean you also need to tear them apart.
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By chance, are you European Roissy? Do you find those European models that walk the runway physically attractive? Not that I’m knocking them. Whatever floats your boat. Personally, I like a woman with some meat on her. A woman with some tits and ass…….and hips. To each his own.
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robert nagle:
This woman’s comment was meant to indicate that she does not accept your value system or your standard of judgment.
it’s not my value system or judgment she has to worry about.
Roissy, I enjoy your insights into dating and romance (and I understand that you need to find something to write about), but stop picking on easy targets.
the next time i come down on a beta with righteous fury, i expect you to be there front and center telling me to stop picking on the boy.
i won’t be holding my breath…
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event horizon troll:
If you’re not attracted to fat women, just don’t ask them out. There’s no need to publically make fun of them.
needing has got nothing to do with it.
March 2006 Lemmon looks pretty and has big boobies. 🙂
please, lem, ignore david alexander. he is a black swan outlier.
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By chance, are you European Roissy?
american. or do you mean by blood?
Do you find those European models that walk the runway physically attractive?
i like beautiful slender women with hourglass figures, firm tits ans ass, and a love for sucking my cock.
ps it would be hilarious if that was really paul krugman who commented up above.
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I’m overweight, for sure, & I hate it.
Judging from the picture on your blog, I think you’re fine just the way you are, and if I had some balls and social status, I’d seriously contemplate asking you out. 🙂
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i agree. you don’t look overweight suburban in the pic i saw of you on your blog.
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Roissy,
I dunno about the bald one. Bald is a sign of high testosterone. Also indebtedness can be a sign of higher education or risk-taking.
Either way, here is what a girl would say about el chief:
how tall is he? 6’1″
how much does he weigh? 200 lb
does he have all his hair? it’s slowly moving from the top of his head to his upper back
do other women check him out when you are out with him on the town? fuck ya
what is his occupation? broke-ass student
does he have an arrest record? several stops, no arrests
what is his level of education? Master’s degree
does he watch nascar regularly? no
how much money does he make? used to be lots
is he, or has he ever been, a drunk, gambling addict or drug addict? bit of a drunk
is he, or has he ever been, in debt? see Master’s student
what happened to his last relationship? he dumped her five times, she dumped his ass once
what did his ex-girlfriends look like while he was dating them? last one looked 19 but was 26. previous to her was a model
does he talk about his exes a lot? only here
when did he lose his virginity? 19
how long have you been together? N/A
how many gifts has he bought you? zero
how often does he want to have sex with you? 1-2x /day
has he ever fucked you with the lights on or during the daytime? Yes
has he ever fucked you two or more times in a row? Yes
does he go down on you? Only if she’s particularly hot
on average, how long does he fuck you? about 15 minutes
is he always asking you for blowjobs? Yes
do you frequently catch him looking at other women? Likely
has he ever called you another woman’s name? No, but I often forget theirs
does he watch a lot of porn? I follow the Something About Mary guidelines
is this porn featuring slender girls, or fat tonka truck girls? Both
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I can’t believe Roissy wrote the last response. It lacks the sarcasm, witty remarks, references, and advanced vocabulary that’s customary to his remarks. Hell, my response was dripping with beta bait!
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Roissy:
Check out this piece on lesbian separatists in the latest New Yorker. There’s enough material there for 2-3 posts. You have to register to read it, but I can probably send it you to pasted in an e-mail if you are interested.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/03/02/090302fa_fact_levy
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I wanna change my username to Slumdouche Thousandaire
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apparently it’s that easy
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lucifer, yeah send me that article in email. i don’t register for mass media sites.
el chief, it’s not a perfect system for deducing quality of partner, but taken as a whole it captures the concept reasonably well.
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and we’re back…
in keeping with Abusive Relationship theme week, el chief has:
1) put an ad on craigslist inviting play-rape scenarios (full consent and safe-word action) and gotten responses from multiple hot chicks, and got together with one, and lemme tell ya, it was hot. here is an example (not mine):
http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/m4w/1050301156.html
2) dated a girl that would say “no, no, no” right before i stuck it in, then would say “no, stick it in, it’s just part of the game” if i didn’t stick it in.
either way, girls r fucked.
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Big tits are great, I enjoy them, but I have to acknowledge that in a profound way, they are an evolutionary gimmick.
That’s why they’re so disproportionally large in humans and not our close primate cousins. They don’t need to be this size continuously, or even when feeding infants (octomom notwithstanding).
Surely there is a suite of interrelated reasons but I believe that it is quite likely large breasts evolved as a way to invoke the pleasing cleavage and soft jiggle of the female backside in the periphery of a female’s face to facillitate pair bonding and individual recognition (in both casual and sexual contexts), as well as providing outward proof of femininity once hominids began covering their groins. Once established, the sexual selection arms race exacerbated this trait beyond reproductive/biological necessity. While it is an estrogen level indicator, I highly doubt it its this simple.
Speaking from personal experience, chicks with smaller tits seem to have have more responsive nipples and derive more pleasure from stimulation. They also typically know that most of their sexual equity is invested in a fantastic ass and great legs and thus are careful to maximize this. When it comes down to it, tits are there almost purely for aesthetics and pair-bonding and will never make up for a misshapen ass much less a negative hip minus waist number.
I notice the guys that are most fixated on big tits are the guys who aren’t getting laid much. A true poonhound knows where the real treasure is and doesn’t let the eye-candy hood ornament of cleavage distract him from concern for the more important specifications of what’s under the hood: flat stomach, firm butt, smooth thighs, little body hair. Plus, smaller tits extend their shelf life.
A stacked, slender chick with a fabulous perky rack commensurate with a killer ass is the ideal, but if you take sex seriously, you’d gladly trade A cup size before you would degrade anything else. You can only fuck her tits for so long before the novelty wears off, anyway.
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This is an anonymous blog site. NOBODY CARES HOW TALL YOU ARE OR HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH OR HOW MANY TIMES YOU GO TO THE GYM OR HOW MUCH YOU CAN SQUAT…geez.
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Food Pyramid- conventional wisdom you can live by.
And also cocaine, but only in a pinch.
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I notice the guys that are most fixated on big tits are the guys who aren’t getting laid much.
I’m one of those guys, but damn it, A and B cups look hideous. Even in porn, the pretty girls are ruined by flat chests. I can’t watch any Brianna Love scenes because her flat chest is so awful that it distracts from her main asset, big fat ass. Jenna Haze is barely watchable for the same reason. Both girls have the chest of a man.
I’m sorry flat chested girls, I need my tits.
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[…] Permalink though it’ll probably never get posted because he can’t make up his mind wheth…. […]
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I’m a lifelong scrawny guy. No fat. 6 pack most of the year almost 8 pack some days in summer.
But I’ll admit sometimes seeing a fat girl and feeling sorry for her. I live near a high school and if I see a fat girl walking alone I usually feel bad for her which isn’t right because she might have a happy life.
Never been with a fat girl but as someone who actually has to workout hard and overeat JUST TO KEEP THE WEIGHT ON, I appreciate that some people, especially women because of their hormones, have a difficult time losing weight.
pizzle – c’mon roissy, i want to hear about nascar!!
nascar: alpha or beta?
Drivers = alpha. Fans = beta.
Tood – Fatties DO pay a penalty in America. No guy wants to love them.
Black guys do.
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Paul Krugman: Heh, yeah it seems to be quite common. The one time I was in the dissection room, there was an obese cadaver with primarily vegetable diet (you can identify that by the colour/nature of the fat). She had a lot of things wrong with her including multiple cancers that spread.
DA: You enjoy roissy’s negative attention? Hmm…
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Kthulah how do you inform someone ho in complete denial of the trooth? I think we’ve gone way beond informing, ridicule is the only answer.
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Shame doesn’t lessen your obesity crisis: it worsens it because even if I was subjected to abuse, my first reliable friend that I turn to is the chocolate spread and the ice cream. You bet that’s what a ‘well, I’m fat anyway so I may as well be happy and fat’ person is going to think.
There really isn’t that big of a need to paint obesity as socially unacceptable; as Sub Sweetheart said and everyone who has lost weight here has said, they don’t really need someone to point it out in the current climate. From what I’ve seen of American high school in the media, looks like you may need to make gym class less of a nightmare. My whole family was sedentary primarily so gym was a nightmare and I associated physical activity with EVIL, humiliation & failure.
The problem with being fat-phobic is worsening the anorexic girls condition, who are obsessed with ‘not being fat’.
I remember a friend (aka bitch who won’t stop saying she loves me) who would not stop saying how fat I was, and omg did I have a big ass, and she would kill herself if she had my body; all this shit even while I was harboring her homeless ass. That didn’t make me feel ‘oh I better lose weight!’, because all it did was show her character. If she didn’t want to eat and lived on a diet of red bull, cigarettes, coffee and an occasional biscuit, that was her problem. If she kept on pinching the skin on her abdomen and saying that being able to do so indicates she is fat, that is her problem. If she’s calling me fat so pathologically when I’m barely overweight, that is also her problem. Her problem is being afraid of fat in a disproportionate, illogical sense.
Eating well and excercising makes you feel good and makes your body feel good. The best method for getting people to join you in being healthy is ‘well, look how awesome it is for me, let me help you get out of your misery!’ (this is where roissy indicates his legion of women) rather than ‘ughyou’reUGLYGETOUTOFMYSIGHT!!’.
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Scott, if you show someone the objective truth, and they refuse to believe it, then you’ve done all that you can do. Ridiculing them isn’t going to strengthen your argument. It might even weaken it, or reduce the chance that they’ll accept it after some thought.
Think about that the next time Jehovah’s Witnesses show up at your door. Is it worth it to spend your day arguing with them? or better to just close the door and say you’re not interested?
It’s your choice how you waste your time, but I feel that resorting to childish epithets in a debate is an admission of failure. There is also a limit to my patience for “debating” with those who are full of fail. Yours may be higher than mine. Oh well.
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For those of you who say ‘leave people with weight problems alone’: well, to some extent I agree with you. On the other hand, looks like the US of A is heading for a nationalised healthcare system so most of your tax dollar (which will, of course, increase proportionally) will be spent on the care of the at least 20% obese population. The more of them there are, the more money you need. Enjoy. I’m DEFINITELY not saying abuse these people, I’m saying USA needs to help them out in any they can including measures against food, excessive use of cars etc.
anony: I’m glad I still am then! However, do please explain what I was being naive about, because that’s such a tease.
Heh, roissy, too many touchy subjects in one week! Abuse (parental, domestic) affects a lot of people as well as dealing with issues around being fat and body image.
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Kthulah your quite right, I never realy thought of it like that.
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Bhetti says, “For those of you who say ‘leave people with weight problems alone’: well, to some extent I agree with you. On the other hand, looks like the US of A is heading for a nationalised healthcare system so most of your tax dollar (which will, of course, increase proportionally) will be spent on the care of the at least 20% obese population.”
…and we all know that no obese people pay taxes.
Since obese people don’t work, and don’t pay taxes, they shouldn’t be entitled to national healthcare because one has to actually be drawing a salary to pay social security or the national health insurance. Right?
LOL!
Bhetti, we have national healthcare in Israel, and it’s not the same thing as free health care. Read the fine print. Government is in the business of keeping itself in business. The nanny state, like any other babysitter, expects to get paid for her services.
It might interest you to note that even here, many drugs and treatments associated with obesity or related illnesses are not covered under national healthcare. A person still has to pay out of pocket, even if they’re not obese, to get the really effective cholesterol and blood pressure reducing drugs. They treat obesity like a self inflicted injury.
“The more of them there are, the more money you need.”
Something that supposedly causes people to die earlier saves taxpayers money.
Senior citizens cost more money to keep alive and care for than corpses.
“Enjoy. I’m DEFINITELY not saying abuse these people, I’m saying USA needs to help them out in any they can including measures against food, excessive use of cars etc.”
Yes…and we know from the success of the “war on drugs” and “war on terrorism” that the government making a “war on fat” is just what American needs. LOL!
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Speaking from personal experience, chicks with smaller tits seem to have have more responsive nipples and derive more pleasure from stimulation.
So true. Caressing lovely A-cups during foreplay evokes exquisite responses in a girl like she’s a musical instrument that’s a joy to master. Do it right and she’ll writhe like a snake in your hands.
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I’m definitely no expert on the USA. Just note that obesity here (UK) tends to be more prevalent for those on welfare. I would also think that even a person who has real weight issues would prefer to be healthy, then have to spend money (either through taxes or their own insurance etc) on themselves; as well as spare the worry of those who love them.
Are you saying that it would’ve been better to just ignore drugs and terrorism, and hope they resolved themselves? Do nothing? I hope what you’re saying is ‘do it more effectively’ rather than ‘do nothing’.
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James Watson said that obese people are hired less because people correctly associate obesity with some sort of laziness. And he said it was correct. Unfortunately, this insight got buried by the other one about african inteligence.
Obese people do pay taxes, but not anymore than other people, and probably a little less since there is that laziness/prejudice thing. But they consume much more since they are the ones with high pressure, diabetes, and so on
About Nascar, there is whole spectrum from omega to alpha. There is the fat/bald/old guy living in trailer watching Nascar drinking the cheapest beer available and there is the cool red state guy who brings his friends home to watch it in his plasma screen while their wifes chat and his friends’ wifes secretly compare him with their lesses alpha/higher beta husbands. Drivers for their part are entirely alpha
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My experience of national health care might be different from yours; I do believe everyone has the right to healthcare and getting treatment for their diseases. It’s very difficult to draw the line when it comes to ‘self-inflicted’ injuries. Society shares its responsibility; everyone contributes to everyone else’s health via pollution, anti-vaccination, negative social attitudes and many other different ways.
I’m not talking about the direct treatments of obesity: I’m talking about heart attacks, stroke, kidney problems, back problems, eye problems and the million and one complications that occur — that you have to treat or they will die on you on the spot/suffer hugely, and you’d be an evil state if you didn’t.
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Everyone who’s a citizen gets healthcare in the UK’s National Health Service.
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In terms of savings: smoking’s the most cost-effective apparently, since you die right about retirement age (while paying off your care until then more or less with the heavy taxes on tobacco products).
I don’t think I can talk money very well; too much idealism in terms of ‘money well spent’ versus ‘money badly spent’. The earlier a person dies in terms of working years, the more money the state loses out on. So the ideal time of death in terms of savings is right at going into retirement. If working people die too early, money is lost out on. If people who’re not workers die too early, money is theoretically ‘saved’.
For some reason, every time there’s a debate on here it’s always relevant about the traditional family values; the more people who cared for their older relatives, the less the state has to spend.
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I’ve been having lost of comments sent to moderation lately. I know one word that will cause a comment to go there is m e g a but spelled without the spaces.
What are some of the other words?
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completely off topic but it is worth reading http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Mary_of_Egypt
patron Saint of Cougars
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Bhetti, what I’m saying is that there’s a limit to what the government can do without policing people in ways that would mean loss of certain freedoms. Loss of these freedoms may make matters worse.
If, for instance, a precedent is set that allows price fixing on foods, this could pave the way for it to happen with other products as well. If they arbitrarily decide to, say, raise the price of rice just because, then celiacs who didn’t ask to be born celiac would find themselves paying more because someone got it up their ass to be sanctimonious.
Most health problems are more prevalent among the poor. Obesity is but one of them. How much are you willing to punish your poor people?
How much do you think any country can afford to punish its poor for their “self inflicted” problems before the society implodes?
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Gig, thank you for providing me with the perfect birthday gift idea for an acquaintance. 🙂
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This whole “shame” thing gets a bad rap and I fear is slightly misunderstood – it isn’t necessarily outside shame, but an internal set of standards before which you feel shame if you fail to measure up.
People should lose weight and look good out of internal self-respect – and they should feel internally “shamed” if the fail to do so.
That really isn’t so malign, now, is it. The idea of “standards” that one owes it to oneself – not others, not society – to live up to has vanished from American society. People aren’t raised that way anymore, and that is a shame.
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my goodness, DA is ridiculous. Not just a tit whore, a fat girl whore.
Jenna Haze is a nice 7/8. Lexi Belle is a 8-9, fulfilling all my dirty little fantasiez about teenage girls and/or screwing Lucy from that old cartoon “The Littles.” And let’s not forget the immortal Poison groupie, eyes roll in the back of the head wonder that is Chloe–a sure 9. And of course Miss Kitty is a big boner maker….
Not that I’m kicking Shyla Styllez out of bed. But DA realizes he could never pull in top-quality poon that happens to have nice pert natural breasts. So he goes for the Kthulah-like warpigs and finds their ownly saving asset–chesticles.
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Nascar = Beta
Formula 1 = Alpha
F1 is more technologically advanced.
F1 has more exotic locations.
F1 has hotter chicks on the tour.
The current F1 world champion is dating that chick from Pussycat Dolls. = Alpha.
The current Nascar champion also has a hot chick, but he married her. = Beta
’nuff said.
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Story of O
Time: 7:33am this morning
Place: the kitchen in Chateau Pupu.
An orange, with 30+ BMI and 1.0 WHR, threw herself off from the top of the fridge when Pupu, half asleep, opened the fridge door.
“Ouch, you must have planned the suicidal attack all night long to provoke me!” Pupu shouted.
The Orange hit the marmoleum floor, rolled violently for a yard until a garbage bin covered with last night’s onion peels stopped her from rolling any farther.
“Look at the apples, they don’t fall far from the tree. You, stupid Orange, can’t wait to reach a garbage bin!” Now, Pupu was really annoyed.
“Please touch me!” begged the Orange.
“Look at you, so filthy! You are better off in the garbage bin.” Pupu reached out to the top of the fridge to look for another orange.
“Touch me, please!” the Orange begged desperately.
Finding no more fruit in stock, Pupu picked up the orange and washed it under tab water.
“Squeeze me!” exclaimed the Orange “Yes, harder!”
Cleaned, wiped in a paper towel, now laying anxiously on a white plastic cutting board, the orange could not wait any longer “Cut me! Eat me! Yes, Now!”
The moment finally came when a porcelain knife touched her chubby waist. Yellow juice gushed out. Her smell instantly filled up the entire kitchen.
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” “Speaking from personal experience, chicks with smaller tits seem to have have more responsive nipples and derive more pleasure from stimulation.”
So true. Caressing lovely A-cups during foreplay evokes exquisite responses in a girl like she’s a musical instrument that’s a joy to master. Do it right and she’ll writhe like a snake in your hands.”
Holy shit y’all are right! Mine have gotten much more sensitive as they got smaller and here I had chalked it up to the psychological aspect of feeling better about the ol bod.
But this begs the question, why aren’t men’s chests sensitive then? Do y’all really not feel anything, or do you think it would make you seem queer to enjoy it, or is there some technique I’m missing? Thanks.
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Roissy, this story should interest you. Fat cow seeks advice from female “love guru” about her boyfriend who wants her to lose 15 lbs. Can you guess what the advice was?
http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sex_news_sports_funny_grok/whyohwhy_arent_you_hot
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I think the American obesity thing is a deadly combination of harvest-season farmhand-sized portions coupled with a culture that hasn’t quite gotten used to the fact that it’s no longer even remotely agrarian.
This goes *triple* for the heartland. Grandaddy might have needed to eat three servings of roast beef and five biscuits to sustain himself, but this doesn’t mean the same is true of his computer-programmer grandson.
I can’t eat over 1900 calories a day without gaining weight, but tell that to my extended family and they talk to me like I’m trying to starve myself out of existence.
“But honey, you have to EAT!” Gah.
American families do this to themselves.
But I wish they would quit doing it to their kids… all these grotesquely fat women pleading with their slender preschoolers to “please just eat one more bite!” should take a quick mental survey as to who obviously knows more about proper portion size.
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So, I guess I think it’s not an absence of personal shame about how one looks– a fat woman *knows* she’s fat, and deep down inside she hates every minute of it.
But she is told that it’s inevitable, hopeless, that there is nothing she can do about it without becoming an E.D. basket case.
95 percent of diets fail, doesn’t everyone know that? So go on and eat these chicken fingers, darlin’.
I wish some of this endless melodrama about E.D. would fade– for every girl neurotically starving herself, there are 500 Americans who simply need to eat less.
But shame won’t help if the people you’re shaming are fatalistic about the problem.
They will merely be more miserable, not less fat.
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I go for the lovely ladies with pert little A cup or more normal B cup breasts. Little titties that will keep pleasing you and her for years.
I have had women cum while having their wonderful little B cups kissed and fondled. Cum without tickling the magic bean, I might add.
Big tits are great for show, but they don’t live up to the hype once unwrapped. DA wouldn’t know anything about that. He’s only into the show.
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DA wouldn’t know anything about that. He’s only into the show.
As I’ve stated, it’s pointless to talk about their positive benefits if I can’t get an erection from their masculine chests. Man-chests are not attractive on women, and destroy whatever positive facial attributes existed.
Jenna Haze is a nice 7/8. Lexi Belle is a 8-9
Please fix your scores. Disregarding her useless excuse for tits, Jenna Haze is a 8. Lexi Belle is a 6.
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Alright since you brought it up, Goddamn it, I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for more years than I’d like to admit. It was akin to being in a cult. I was told what to wear, eat, read, watch, and what friends I could have which amounted to none over time. I was not allowed to have any contact with my exceedingly dysfunctional family. I was berated and lectured for hours and hours on end during which I would cry unconsolably. I was hit, forced to have sex after the abuse, threatened, completely (almost) controlled. I dealt with it by becoming passive aggressive which only enraged him further. Any questions?
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Roissy, why do you have to bring up this constant crap? Why don’t you try being more positive, upbeat? What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding? I know, it’s not as much fun. After a four month hiatus from cyber-stalking (no personal stalking mind you) I’m back on it. Seeing current pics of the ex-lover that gave me so fucking much grief, MISERABLE beyond words with his new fiance gives me much wonderful pleasure. Life is sweeeeeet!!
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OMW, compulsive overeating is a disorder too. Many laypeople discussing eating disorders tend to forget that binge eating disorder is basically just bulhemia without the purging.
So shaming will do as much to help them as it would to help say, a heroin addict if everyone needed a little heroin to survive and it was available in every grocery store.
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sara pours out her soul for her lord and savior:
Seeing current pics of the ex-lover that gave me so fucking much grief, MISERABLE beyond words with his new fiance gives me much wonderful pleasure.
unless your ex-lover’s fiancee is hideously ugly and/or fat, why would it give you wonderful pleasure to see them together?
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Dear Roissy, one of the great pleasures of being older is having lived long enough to watch your enemies suffer…especially when it’s from their own stupidity.
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That is true about compulsive over-eating, kthulah– can be just as much an eating disorder as straight-out anorexia, I think.
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out who is suffering from a case of plain old gluttony and who has succumbed to that characteristic combo of self-loathing and gluttony that is so hard to break out of.
Had a dear friend once who fit the second category– she couldn’t lose weight because she couldn’t stop sabotaging herself. Spend a week on a diet, then binge at Burger King on Friday, then, tail between her legs, hit the grocery store for a cartfull of Sara Lee to keep her occupied till Sunday night.
Come Monday morning, repeat!
She was frustrating to spend time with because every waking moment was consumed with thinking about how to lose weight, and what to eat, and how much of it, and blah blah blah. I just didn’t understand it at all, and was very impatient with her.
But she didn’t seem to be experiencing a lack of shame, no. Her husband was ruthless about letting her know what a loser she was.
You would think that having to spend the weekend with him would make her eat less over the weekend, not more, but it was not so.
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Eating and drinking healthily all the time rather than dieting’s a brilliant way to at least maintain a good weight; the classic food pyramid can’t really be beaten.
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Man-chests are not attractive on women,
A man-chest is more like mine: mature with strongly defined pecs, just the right amount of hair, a long faint scar with a good story behind it, and a reassuring manly muskiness that many girls have pressed their babydoll faces to. That’s a man-chest. Nice to have if you are a dude but I don’t want to get too close to another one like it.
Dear David Alexander, girls with A or B-cups or those rare but delightful little flat chested jewels are not man-chests. They are all-woman. Their sweet little nipples are triggers to intense sensations we dudes can’t begin to imagine. Their writhing little bodies when those little breasts are sucked on are like an eel freshy pulled from the sea.
A man-chest is nothing like it. A man-chest is a stone wall or a rolling tank. A completely different thing.
Some alphas like big tits, some alphas like smaller ones, and some like ’em in-between. But as someone else said, virginal guys or lesser betas — and especially o m e g a s — are all about the big tits. That’s probably because women are so alien to them that they may as well be dudes with long hair. The tits (which these fellows only see through layers of clothing) are the only thing they see that distinguishes a she-human form dudes.
This, and the fact that the mysterious she-humans don’t like car chases, explosions and logic. So it’s all about the tits. Big tits, in case the nerd isn’t sure if he’s looking at a boy (icky but will play video games) or a girl (strangely alluring but won’t play video games)
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Oh God, finally an explanation for the ridiculousness of comics and videogame female characters! I thought the appeal applied to all men but apparently not.
I’ve had the joy of trying to explain to a gamer how big a D cup actually is as compared to his ideas… goodness me.
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What’s so funny about peace, love and understanding? Not funny, but not very realistic either.
Peace is what you get when you are not to be messed with. Peace through weakness never worked and never will.
Love? I’ll just have a sixties flashback here and say you can love all the dirty hippies you like, but they’re still dirty hippies. Finding someone worthy of love is wonderful, but rare. Well, somebody wins the lottery, but your odds are not good. Since I got one of the winning tickets, your odds are even worse.
Understanding is one of the most misused words around. Obama asks for “investment” and I understand perfectly. He means money flows from my pockets to his causes. They say, “you don’t understand” when they mean “you don’t agree.”
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A man-chest is more like mine
Shudder.
Dear David Alexander, girls with A or B-cups or those rare but delightful little flat chested jewels are not man-chests
Okay, they’re fat man-chests. It still doesn’t distract from the fact that they look awful.
Their writhing little bodies when those little breasts are sucked on are like an eel freshy pulled from the sea.
They’re too small to suck on!
So it’s all about the tits.
I can tolerate a girl with C cups if she comes with a nice ass. A B cup must come with ass AND nails, and she better better come with high IQ and an interest in trains. Otherwise, D cups are best. As I’ve stated before, as an avid porn watcher, I just can’t get excited over A and B cups. They’re hideous and have awful aesthetics and they’re just about capable of destroying any erection possible.
Besides, you can smother yourself in big tits. It’s not true for that excuse for a breast you call an A cup.
And yes, I would turn down sex with a flat chested girl.
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DA:
“They’re too small to suck on!”
Spoken like someone who hasn’t sucked on a tit since he was weaned.
“As I’ve stated before, as an avid porn watcher, I just can’t get excited over A and B cups. They’re hideous and have awful aesthetics and they’re just about capable of destroying any erection possible.”
Ignoring for a moment the blatant falsehood of this statement, porn and real life don’t always match up. Or maybe you really do think that pizza delivery guys get laid by models in 30 minutes or less.
“Besides, you can smother yourself in big tits. It’s not true for that excuse for a breast you call an A cup.”
The idea is to ejaculate, not suffocate.
“And yes, I would turn down sex with a flat chested girl.”
Only because you would have come the moment she started touching you.
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unless your ex-lover’s fiancee is hideously ugly and/or fat, why would it give you wonderful pleasure to see them together?
Because he’s somebody else’s problem now, maybe?
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Sara, dear, you are so much better off without your ex. You would be probably even better off not knowing his whereabouts today.
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It’s not like I have a man crush on the guy, well not any more, and I wouldn’t be offering him a major league deal either. I don’t see any one else giving him one either. I really like bringing in an experienced lefty into the rotation, especially one that’s moving from the NL. Are OP’s numbers great? No, but that ERA would have led all Rangers starters and his WHIP would have been right there with Padilla’s 1.46.
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Jane. What the fuck are you talking about? ERA, NL, WHIP, 1.46. Rotation.
Seems you are talking geek code about STJDM. Shit that just doesn’t matter.
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Pupu says, “You would be probably even better off not knowing his whereabouts today.”
I don’t know. It warms my heart to know that all of the guys who tried to break my heart are either suffering because of what caused them to try it, or their failure to do it successfully.
It’s the difference between supposing that what goes around, comes around, and *knowing* that this is so. It helps in checking one’s own behavior as well…saved me from even thinking of collective vengeance, and keeps me from allowing myself an _Icebox_ situation.
Self pity is much more easy to kill when you realize that nature has no pity.
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Here’s a datapoint:
Now that I’ve had other women recently I can’t even get my dog to trigger with my fatass frigid wife. That’s what fatassery does to a woman’s sex appeal – as soon as there’s an alternative basic reflexes don’t work in the guy that’s tapping her. I daydream about restoring my marriage by locking her up in a diet ward and feeding her horny goat weed.
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OMW, that sounds like a scary situation…for both the wife and the husband. They both enable each other’s dysfunctions, he by being insecure and abusive and apparently needing a loser to stay around for him to pick on, and she by being the loser who stays around to get picked on.
Whenever there’s a relationship going on like this, folks have a tendency to pity the one getting picked on, but they get something out of it too. There’s no such thing as an innocent martyr who isn’t actually being forced to stay and take it. They get their ego fed by being the “moral superior” of their abuser.
This doesn’t absolve the wrong he does to her, but it also doesn’t absolve the wrong she does to him by making him think it’s okay to mistreat people for stupid reasons. She creates a kind of security bubble for him to live in, and be her pet rattlesnake.
Shai’s girlfriend used to be like that with her mom and kids until we showed her the harm she was doing them. Her life changed dramatically for the better once she stopped that. Her youngest, the “problem child” stopped being a problem.
If your friend is still in that situation, do her a favor and tell her straight what she’s doing. Refuse to listen to her kvetch about her self inflicted misery. Addicts, in order to make changes that stick, have to take responsibility for their own wellbeing, and part of that is getting un-addicted from the toxic relationships and situations that feed the monkey.
This way, when a relapse happens (like a trip to BK), it’s a single incident, or even a weekly splurge day, that doesn’t lead to falling back into a bad pattern (grocery store Sara Lee).
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JerrDogg, I might have a solution for your problem, but first I need to know who shops for the food in your home, and who funds it.
If you’re the breadwinner, you can use that to press for what kind of food you want to come into your house, and what the budget should be like. Consult with some healthy but non extremist people you know in your area, and find out what they spend on groceries.
See, if you don’t fund fatassery, it’s not going to happen.
I’m the one who takes care of the grocery bill and shopping in my home. For awhile, even when I was maintaining and losing slowly while I was hypothyroid, and then losing more quickly when that was fixed, the rest of my family was still getting fatter. I realized that the problem was that when things would be finished, I’d replace them without thinking.
Now, I don’t do that, and everyone else is losing weight along with me. If I buy half a kilo of cheese, and it gets finished in a couple of days, we just don’t have any more cheese until two weeks after the last time I went grocery shopping.
If folks are hungry, they have to eat what I cooked, and what there is, and if they don’t want that, then that’s just tough for them.
I keep healthy food in the house. Period.
…but it’s not about deprivation, so occasionally, I’ll go out and buy us a treat, or give the daughter some change to get herself something special.
It can be hard to say no to people when it comes to food, but as the one in control of that department, it’s something that has to be done. You won’t shock someone into an eating disorder by taking the reins, so long as you’re doing it sanely.
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Rihanna and Brown reported reunited
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Pop star Rihanna was reported on Friday to have reunited with her R&B singer boyfriend Chris Brown, less than three weeks after he was alleged to have assaulted her. Skip related content
People magazine said Barbados-born Rihanna — who had hits with “Umbrella” and “Disturbia” — and Brown were spending time together at one of the homes of hip hop mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs.
“They’re together again. They care for each other,” People quoted an unidentified source as saying.
“While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves,” the source said in a report on People’s website.
A representative of Chris Brown had no comment on the People report. Rihanna’s publicist could not immediately be reached.
Brown, 19, a rising young star with a huge teen fan base, was arrested on February 8 on suspicion of making criminal threats against a woman after a late-night altercation in a car.
Los Angeles prosecutors have not yet decided whether to file formal charges against Brown, who performed chart-toppers “Run It!” and “Forever.”
A picture of a bruised Rihanna with swollen lips was leaked on the Internet last week, apparently from Los Angeles police files, and added credence to widespread reports that the woman involved was her.
The assault on the eve of the Grammy Awards caused both stars to cancel their scheduled appearances. It sent shockwaves through the music industry and stunned fans of the couple, who had been dating for about a year.
Rihanna returned to her family in Barbados and Brown issued a statement on February 15 saying he was “sorry and saddened” about the incident and was seeking counselling.
People magazine reported earlier this week that Brown telephoned Rihanna on her 21st birthday a week ago.
“He called to wish her happy birthday,” a source told the magazine. “They’ve reached out to each other. It’s been mutual.”
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Yeah, my friend and her hub were a classic match made in purgatory, at the least. But they’ve stayed married now for fifteen years!
Misery loves company, I suppose.
Y’all have got me interested in this paleo diet business, speaking of losing weight.
I’ve been fighting off the last ten pounds of pregnancy weight for nearly six months now; it is beginning to seem that the less I eat, the less I CAN eat and keep losing.
Surely I could drop calories further than I have already, but I’m beginning to think that right now I’m sabotaging my metabolism for very little effect.
I don’t buy sweets or fast food, but I do love to bake whole-wheat bread and probably wind up eating more of that than I can actually handle.
And drinking wine with the husband on weekends is probably not helpful for me, either, at the moment, even if I “save” calories all day long to do it.
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Lemmonex-
Your January 2006 picture is actually quite cute.
If you really carry this off then you’re my heroine. This is the schedule I hope to attain. Keep at it.
The Limey-
+1 on each count sir. Word perfect. You spelled out what I have long noticed about the differences between F1 and NASCAR.
Patrick Bateman-
Honest, before I clicked on that link, your description made me suspect it was Carolyn Hax. Sure enough. Roissy, if you have any observations about the Washington Post’s advice columnist for SWPL relationship problems, then you must be saving it up. I have one or two observations about her advice.
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My wife did the paleo diet thing 5 years ago and it worked well. Very well. She was a hottie again. But then she went back to her old ways and became fat again.
The paleo diet thing works.
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Whiskey Taking diet advice from Oprah is like taking investment advice from MC Hammer
*DEAD*
😆
PA If pretty girls let themselves get fat there is less eye candy and so they must be shamed for defiling my habitat.
I feel the same way whenever I see a man with a hideous worm infested beer belly. I think about his poor wife who must push and hold that mass of spoiled flesh up just so she can get on top. Let’s not talk American men with backhair, ruff looking feet, and zero fashion sense.
Rum People look for complexity where there is none.
So true.
*gives rum some dap*
@Dave from Hawaii- your diet probably contained fewer calories than your previous diet. I notice that a number of commenters come up with these complex diets and exercise plans to lose weight. Guess what, I can take you to live with a slender family in Paris or Tokyo. You should eat what they eat in similar sized portions. Walk and often and as much as your new family walk. If I come back in a year, you will most likely have lost weight. It’s not rocket science yall. About 30 years ago, most people in this country were much smaller and they didn’t read tons of books on how to become or stay that way.
Nicole Senior citizens cost more money to keep alive and care for than corpses. At what point do we let grandma and grandpa die because they are becoming to expensive and bothersome to keep alive?
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>ruff looking feet
What is this? I’m checking out my feet now… should I worry?
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OMW, ten pounds isn’t something to worry about unless you’re a dancer or fitness model and need to look “ripped”. Women are built to store a little extra fat, especially after a baby. Your body thinks you’re supposed to be breastfeeding for a year or so. Besides, a “stubborn” bit of weight is probably water anyway. So some green tea will probably do the job.
JerrDogg, the paleo diet definitely works, but I like my little agricultural comforts. I’m finding that a moderate approach is working just fine for me. Sudden, drastic changes don’t often work out for the long term, so try one thing at a time. Also bear in mind that what you’re going for is a return to your particular ancestral style, which means the way *your* ancestors adapted, not the way someone else’s did.
Some people have been agricultural for longer, and some, though nomads, did do some degree of cultivation. There was also trade between people who were more or less settled than each other.
So if you’re of mostly northern European descent, start out with something like no more pre-made cakes, cookies, or even granola in the house. Any sweets have to be home made. Then reduce the amount of white sugar you buy, by half and use honey and jaggery for more things you’d normally use sugar for. Then stop buying white sugar at all. Then start in on the flour. No more pre made pastas…and so on.
Every month or two, make a few changes that you can stick to. It’s a long term plan. During this time, remember that you’re human and every once in awhile you’ll want something special. Have that occasionally. There’s no shame in wanting the occasional moon pie…but for stuff that’s “not allowed in your house”, go out and get it, have your fun, and leave it out there. Don’t even bring home a doggy bag.
Don’t treat it like “a diet”. Treat it like “my diet”. You’re making lifestyle changes that will fit everybody because you’re not counting calories or obsessing. You’re changing your style to be more natural and suitable to your body.
Because most overly fat people aren’t disordered eaters, this will most likely handle both energy and weight issues. My mom actually does have an eating disorder, but going natural has kept that under control. I think part of it is that whatever jollies she got from eating too much, she now gets from the eating well.
Eating is a sensual experience. When your palate receives some bland crap that doesn’t hit it right well…it’s like bad sex. You have to do it longer to make anything happen because you’re bored. When you get some (I’m smiling just thinking about it) white chocolate panacotta with rosewater syrup…that’s like hot passionate sex against the wall of an ancient building in a thunderstorm. It could be over in five minutes, but you’ll be grinning for a week.
When you eat well, you don’t need to eat as much. It’s just more fun, and because it’s more nutritious, your body lets you know when it’s enough. So raise the bar, and it’ll lower the weight.
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Chic Noir asks, “At what point do we let grandma and grandpa die because they are becoming to expensive and bothersome to keep alive?”
…when they want to die.
Some people want to stay alive even though it’s expensive and bothersome. I figure that’s their right…but most old people I’ve ever encountered know when it’s too much, but their loved ones pressure them to stay around.
So when my time comes, whenever that is, and I’m tired and ready to go, or I get something incurable like Alzheimer’s, I’m going long before I forget my daughter’s name.
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An excellent site that pushes something it calls “Primal” eating — sort of its own combo of Paleo and low-carb:
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/
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Judging from the above link, Pupu has excellent Primal instinct.
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Yes, I like that idea about gradually phasing out lesser food, kthulah, in favor of better alternatives. Going on a hardcore formal diet has never been my style.
I first started cutting calories by phasing out virtually all sweets except the “social obligation” ones, like a slice of cake at a family birthday celebration.
Not looking to resemble a young, cut Janet Jackson, and indeed am at peace with my softer, rather more maternal look, but I can *really* afford to leave ten pounds behind.
Having as many babies as I have in as short a time as I did, well, it takes its toll. lol.
Interesting site, M. Blowhard. A guy who recommends substituting wine for soda is a man after my own heart! (enjoy your blog, too, BTW.)
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JerrDogg
ruff looking feet
What is this? I’m checking out my feet now… should I worry?
Are you toe nails long? Are the bottom of your feet smooth ? DO you have bunions and coins? If you can answer no to all of the above JerrDogg, then your feet are not hard to look at.
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@Nicole- Yea I would want to go before I became a pile of rotting flesh in someone’s bargain basement nursing home too. I don’t understand why we are still debating people like Dr. Kevorkian(1*) but Abortion is legal in all states 50**.
**Mississippi
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Suburban sweetheart,
Pupu thinks you look lovely, and you are very lovely.
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SS looks fine from those pictures, but I don’t really care. I’m here to read ideas. If I wanted to look at pretty girls, there are tens of thousands of other sites for that, or I could just walk my lazy ass outside.
Here, it’s just put up or shut up.
And, SS, you have a good comment on shame not working all the time. But Random’s right, too: cardio only gets you so far, and a lot of girls are absolutely criminal when it comes to this. Example:
One day, two of my friends (both female) decided they were going to have a pushup contest. One actually runs those 5k races, and the other isn’t in terrible shape herself.
Neither one of them could do ONE fucking pushup. These girls aren’t overweight, but I’m pretty damn sure they are handicapping their health if they can’t manage to put out a single push from the ground.
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The paleo-diet FTW.
It makes 100% sense.
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