Pimp Slap Of The Day

May 17, 2009 by CH

It’s no coincidence that marriage became the shit institution it is today at about the same time weddings turned into ostentatious displays of whorish overconsumption.

Posted in Culture, Marriage Is For Chumps | 57 Comments

57 Responses

on May 17, 2009 at 10:17 pm Bhetti

At least add a picture, roissy.

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on May 17, 2009 at 10:22 pm js

uhhh…ever heard of economic growth? people spend more money on marriages bc they’re richer. i doubt that as a proportion of income the money spent on marriages today is much different than it was 100 or 1000 years ago.

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on May 17, 2009 at 10:23 pm Maria

About marriage agaaain?
😦

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on May 17, 2009 at 10:29 pm Brad

Bhetti that picture is fucking CLASSIC. Dead on balls accurate.

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on May 17, 2009 at 10:38 pm mmmmmmmmmm

maria – what’s wrong with blasting marriage? Again. and again. and again. When the stuff you find on Roissy’s site becomes fodder for the MSM, maybe you’re complaints will have merit. In the meantime, memes need to be spread. Like the fact that marriage sucks.

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on May 17, 2009 at 10:50 pm Peter

Ehh…Cite?

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:05 pm vainofstars

When have wedding ceremonies NOT been “obstentatious displays of whorish consumption”, esp in relation to the economic activity of their time?

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:05 pm vainofstars

*dammit, ostentatious

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:06 pm 87

i doubt that as a proportion of income the money spent on marriages today is much different than it was 100 or 1000 years ago.

This is ridiculous.

To wit,
http://money.cnn.com/2005/05/20/pf/weddings/

—

Although, to be fair, I’m sure that less money is spent on marriages these days (as opposed to weddings and divorces), so you’re probably accidentally correct.

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:19 pm Johnny Abacus

js:

If you are referring to Bride Price/Dowry, those are not the same thing – Roissy is talking about spending money on the ceremony itself, not economic transfers between the bride/groom’s family and the newly weds.

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:27 pm Lupo

Well, they do spend a lot in Korea, and it doesn’t suck as bad there. Then again, they ain’t reproducing there either, so maybe it does.

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:48 pm epiclolz

This is kind of like how anorexia in women is highly correlated with increase in female freedom, high availability of food, and being a first world country. The wedding extravagance is definitely driven by female status competition.

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:54 pm The King

Reply to:

vainofstars

When have wedding ceremonies NOT been “obstentatious displays of whorish consumption”, esp in relation to the economic activity of their time?

Roman times 100 b.c. – 500 a.d. where wedding was used for gaining power, influence and money. Nothing like marrying your hot daughter to a wealthy elite. Please stop being so ignorant, Asian cultures before feminism had very respectable / classy (whatever the fuck that means) wedding rituals.

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on May 17, 2009 at 11:55 pm Cannon's Canon

This weekend, at a wedding, I got blackout drunk and took off most of my clothes on the dance floor. This performance was complete with a sack-flash to a few of the women in attendance – a personal trademark of mine. My ostentatious over-consumption led to a flabbergasted talking to from my dad, who seemed more amused by my transgressions than truly concerned. Still, he had to mail in a pep talk.

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on May 18, 2009 at 12:12 am John Smith

Check this article out.

Roissy, I agree with 97% of your postings, but weddings have always been ostentatious status displays. Are you really going to tell me that the dominating feminists are responsible for the burdening costs of afghan marriages?

Just because bridezillas didn’t exist back then, doesn’t mean people didn’t throw away their money.

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on May 18, 2009 at 1:03 am JC

Before marriage , a man is incomplete.
After marriage he is finished.

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on May 18, 2009 at 1:27 am B

Roissy, there was a review of Michael Lewis’s new book this weekend in the WSJ, which is basically about how he surrendered all his dignity as a man when he got married and now spends his life being bossed around by his wife and small children. He was vasectomised against his will – so his wife actuallly had his balls surgically removed (rendered inert, same thing).

Your thoughts please.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124243950942426191.html
#mod=article-outset-box

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on May 18, 2009 at 2:07 am Smiler

Whiskey hasn’t posted yet, so I’ll answer in lieu:

The reason why weddings are so obnoxiously big these days is because marriage is an essential sacrament in the SWPL status-mongering competition.

In other words, the people who turned weddings into “ostentatious displays of whorish overconsumption” are the same people who turned marriage into a “shit institution”.

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on May 18, 2009 at 2:07 am HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS YO

Every bitch wants a wedding, but nobody wants a husband.

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on May 18, 2009 at 2:16 am Smiler

Every bitch wants a wedding, but nobody wants a husband.

Women want to get married; they don’t want to be married. Women only want the statusmongering-helpful bits of marriage.

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on May 18, 2009 at 4:32 am Thursday

David Brooks has remarked that the reason people go in for over the top weddings is to make a desperate attempt to get it to mean something now that easy divorce essentially makes marriage worthless.

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on May 18, 2009 at 5:23 am Virgin@40

Yeah Roissy, we got your opinion over marriage now get over it!

Another boring piece about how men shall not get married…

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on May 18, 2009 at 5:38 am Gunslingergregi

Naa marriage is an excuse to eat a whole cow. Wait what.

He He He

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on May 18, 2009 at 5:38 am Virgin@40

“The wedding extravagance is definitely driven by female status competition.”

Yes, but man also have a lot to be held responsible in this matter of marriage.
In part, marriage sucks due to the de-sacralisation of marriage. And man were the first ones to embrace the idea that the average female would offer her vagina and spread her legs to two or three men before being married.

Also, men also kind of liked the liberalisation of divorce. And, MOST MEN who marry nowadays (and the last 20 years) do believe that: “With the heck, if it is less than perfect or if I find a better women, I can always get divorced”.

So, the problem here is the de-sacralisation of marriage – at least in Catholic societies. Where’s the idea that marriage is the union of two people by and under God? That it is in order to create a family? Where’s the idea that what God united cannot be seperated by man? Where’s the idea of the “’till dead tear us apart” or something?

Of course, with Socialist-Feminine tendencies in society, of course men would be even worse than females.

Also, why do men marry women not worth marrying and not worth creating a family with?
Why do men not teach their daughters not to be whores and to be good wifes and family mothers and all?

So, fuck you Roissy if you want to put all the blame in the women. And by the way, get over it because I do not come to this blog to read about marriage and how sad you are because society has degenerated when you are the first to recognise that it is great that society generated.

Unless you dinstinctly say that you would prefer one girl for life to pick up lots of them, fuck you.

And if you are wondering my position, yes, I’m prefirably monogamous. I only try to pick up (yeah, try, just try) because I’m kind of fucked up.
Although my animal instincts are poligamous, I think that I am better than animals because I can control my most animalistic instincts.

Women must not be considered the only ones in fault on this marriage thing.

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on May 18, 2009 at 5:40 am Virgin@40

“Before marriage , a man is incomplete.
After marriage he is finished.”

Great, JC, spot on!

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on May 18, 2009 at 8:42 am richmondbachelor

As for roissy hating weddings… we, and all your readers get it. You’ve almost got me convinced to completely stay away from marriage, but I also wonder what life would be like at 60 alone. A few thoughts

– Maybe I’m single.
– Maybe I have a live-in girlfriend (For less then 10 years from what I understand to not be considered common law marriage)
– Maybe I have an adopted child
– Maybe I have a biological child, maybe with said live-in girlfriend, but not likely
– At least one family member or friend I am close to has gotten a divorce
– You don’t have a marriage that may or may not be rocky
– You don’t have an existing divorce/child custody battles/child support payments/your finances wrecked
– You didn’t get to actually try out married life to see if you like it (raising children, dual income for nicer lifestyle, sharing household/child rearing duties)

Roissy has suggested filling his needs with prostitutes and tequila, or something along those lines. At 60? Not buying it. That can’t be much of a happy life. This is wear pretty lies die, and that’s the only pretty lie I’ve our host decree.

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on May 18, 2009 at 8:48 am Virgin@40

Yeah, this whole thing about weddings and Roissy is that it is a pretty lie he cannot kill.

PUAs will get lonely. So lonely you will find the moments with that 5 priceless.
Before 50s you’ll see. You already know it.

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on May 18, 2009 at 9:47 am ironrailsironweights

In many cases it’s not the brides who insist on huge extravagant weddings. Instead, the parents of the brides go all-out, as a means of impressing their social circles.

Peter

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on May 18, 2009 at 10:01 am gig

same time weddings turned into ostentatious displays of whorish overconsumption.

untrue. they have always been “ostentatious displays of overconsumption”, but now much more whorish women are marrying.

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on May 18, 2009 at 10:59 am maurice

agree that the bridezilla thing is female status-whoring (or her parents’) – might this be a modern poor substitute for, or an echo of, the ancient dowry phenomenon? the bride’s parents pay, after all. if you can’t have actual assets transferred form the bride to the groom because of the change in status of women, at least throw a grotesquely over-the-top patry…?

@bhetti: lol @ pic

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on May 18, 2009 at 11:27 am BinNYC

@richmondbachelor

Exactly. This was my point to the general commentariat the other day in Roissy’s “Hero” post.

To quote: “This old meme “Do. Not. Get. Married”…is lame. A little reality check, guys. Many men WANT to have a long term, intimate relationship and build a life with kids, etc. THAT’S the elephant in the room and at some point, gentlemen, it will turn to you and stare you down.”

and

“Ok… so NOW what?…[ What we need is a discussion regarding] practical advice on how to settle down, raise a family, and protect oneself against potential nightmare situations.”

B.

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on May 18, 2009 at 11:28 am xsplat

richmond bachelor

Roissy has suggested filling his needs with prostitutes and tequila, or something along those lines. At 60? Not buying it. That can’t be much of a happy life. This is wear pretty lies die, and that’s the only pretty lie I’ve our host decree.

Wow – identifying as a bachelor. Now that’s old school. I just call myself single – which means that no girlfriend has monogamous claim to me. Or, if I’m being accurate, I call myself an amoral selfish bastard.

But I think you don’t know many sixty year olds. Sixty is not old yet. Maybe you meant to say seventy. Or maybe it was eighty?

I’m 43. When am I supposed to have age appropriate behaviour?

There simply is no such thing – and anyone who has intercourse with a variety of geezers who remain social will see wide diversity. There is no master life plan that follows age appropriate rules.

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on May 18, 2009 at 12:07 pm Bhetti

Let’s look at extremes of two models, so that we can elucidate what ideas fit where:
1.Short Term Relationships [courtesy of Collapsed Time Frame Technology as Patented by G Manifesto Corporations]
— quantity over quality
— the more sexual liberation, the better
— sluts are your happiness and your friend. In fact, call them gifts from heaven.
— love, loyalty and emotional connection is for chumps
— no child support
— dissolve Abrahamic religion
— dissolve marriage
— portable ‘is she on the pill?’ testing kit
— father only recorded as parent of child if this was declared before abortion deadline and he was allowed to exercise in vitro paternity testing and paternal abortion rights if he wanted i.e. he ‘aborts’ his paternity, whether legally or literally.
— STD clinics and contraceptive research gets lots of money
— gender equality, in economy and power
— fembots
— birth rates decreased, short-term society but hedonism/partying meanwhile.
— drugs, alcohol, other fun substances
— unattractive interact with attractive ones (thanks to substances/lack of choosiness)
— the moment you stop being able to engage in sex is the moment of death
Basically, both Darwin and God are upset.

2. Long Term Relationships
— quality over quantity
— the more sexual repression on both sides, the better (sexual repression of women does not allow sexual expression of men)
— virgins are your happiness and your friend. In fact, call them gifts from heaven. Both genders.
— loyalty and respect is the only currency, although love and emotion sweeten the deal.
— child support, although low thanks to impossibility of divorce in the first place
— mandatory paternity testing
— embrace religious and traditional values
— contraception/STDs low
— gender inequality (depending on your definition of it)
— birth rates up
— unattractive people destined for each other, more motivation for improving themselves.
— harsh punishments for infidelity
— growing old and having a family to look after you. You may hate them.
Basically, Darwin and God win.

I’m sure there’s disagreement about what fits in what model.
Anyway: There’re clear merits to both and some elements that aren’t necessarily exclusive. I’m more pro-LTR. So I found it interesting to think that when I think about marriage, I’m really more thinking about the relationship rather than the nerve wreckage a big party for one night’s all about. I haven’t picked out the wedding dress or the flowers or the guests or the music (I’m sure my mother has, though, bless. Seems to be a status thing.).

Well, deep down inside, they’re skeptical: may as well get a good DVD out of it.

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on May 18, 2009 at 12:34 pm Cliff Arroyo

For once I totally agree with Roissy. Will wonders never cease…

Previously, to the extent that weddings were ostentatious displays, they were displays of family and/or community (a sign of economic commitment by the young couple and to them by the community).

Now it’s all about creating a dream wedding fetish for women (and often their mothers) who aren’t interested in belonging to a community or a marriage and who have only minimal interest in the man, a prop necessary for the pagentry to take place.

Muriel’s wedding had this dead on. She wanted a big, fancy wedding and got it (the groom was entirely incidental and disposable).

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on May 18, 2009 at 12:36 pm omw

I don’t know how anyone can be particularly connected to a “community” when virtually nobody lives out their entire lives within one state, let alone one smallish city.

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on May 18, 2009 at 12:38 pm podunk

Where’s the idea that what God united cannot be seperated by man?

LOL…I know a man that separates marriages for a living – they’re called “divorce lawyers”. Thankfully he was unimpeded by force of deity when I contracted for his services.

I think that’s where your precious idea went.

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on May 18, 2009 at 12:39 pm Cliff Arroyo

omw, exactly! It’s all connected, with no community to ground the marriage in, it becomes about individual display, a consumerist exercise that satisfies no one (least of all the bride).

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on May 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm z

Roissy wrote:

“It’s no coincidence that marriage became the shit institution it is today at about the same time weddings turned into ostentatious displays of whorish overconsumption.”

……………………..and all of Satan’s children in the congregation said, “Amen!”

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on May 18, 2009 at 7:50 pm joel

I just attended a wedding the bill for which, paid mostly by the parents of the bride but with substantial input from the groom’s parents, would easily pay for the private education of several children. It could have paid for a modest but nice house in a good neighborhood in many parts of the country. Hint: The flowers cost about $15,000.

It is amazing what the matriarchy does. The Darwinian purpose of this, I believe, is to keep the husbands working their asses off, and keep them broke, so they can’t go out and buy a younger woman for their next wife or keep a concubine.

Really. There is no other logical explanation for this excess.

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on May 18, 2009 at 10:56 pm Welmer

Smiler

Women want to get married; they don’t want to be married. Women only want the statusmongering-helpful bits of marriage.

Yeah, and they don’t want to get rid of those even after divorce.

I can’t get my ex to quit using my last name, despite the court’s offer to let her change her name back ANY TIME NOW. Why can’t a guy get a court order to strip his surname from his ex wife?

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on May 19, 2009 at 12:47 am JerrDog

In my long-run thinking I have to consider if I want to get married again. I’m thinking of 2 scenarios:

(1) Knocking up a estrogen-rich bubbly nurse/teacher type as much as possible
(2) Getting a ready-made additional family with a good-looking divroced woman

The visual appeal of (1) is obvious. The youth of a hot 26 year old is appealing. (2) is not so good – a 30 something MILF will age like milk.

However, I’ve been through the fairy-princess wedding bullshit before. And the only thing I detest more that cats is diamonds. There are about 3 or 4 cools MILFy ones that I know that would be really fun to hang out with and fuck in a way I just couldn’t get with a bubble head.

The wedding-princess-prom shit just brings back bad memories of being on the high-school prom court and the love tetrahedron between my
(1) prom date who asked me out before I could ask out anyone else
(2) prom-court partner, who loved me at first but then bitched&pouted the whole time that she wasn’t prom queen because she was partnered with me
(3) groupie-chick that I was banging at the time who resented both
Not good memories… I didn’t even fuck my prom date but I did at least get to grind my chubby on my prom date when we danced

Not exactly the mary-jane rottencrotch prom queen fuck fantasy that we are all supposed to believe in.

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on May 19, 2009 at 4:11 am Virgin@40

Bethi,

I tend to be more in favour of LTR as well.
What I disagree with you is that that list you made about LTR’s have many negatve things that simply, do not have to be there.

In fact, and knowing that that system is not perfect or somewhat near it, it’s also not that negative. Really.

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on May 19, 2009 at 1:23 pm Be A Skittles Man « Roissy in DC

[…] an unintentional juxtaposition for the ages, reader joel left a comment in my Pimp Slap post about a wedding he attended: I just attended a wedding the bill for which, paid mostly by […]

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on May 19, 2009 at 3:50 pm Gunslingergregi

“””””””””Welmer,
I can’t get my ex to quit using my last name, despite the court’s offer to let her change her name back ANY TIME NOW. Why can’t a guy get a court order to strip his surname from his ex wife?
“””””””””””””””””

This is word man. Mine keeps my name wtf she checked the block to change it to on the divorce papers.

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on May 19, 2009 at 5:25 pm madtherapist

I’m tired of the lame excuse for settling ‘I don’t want to be alone when I’m 60’. Did you ever see Golden Girls? Go watch the movie ‘Young at Heart’. There’s a guy there in his 60’s whose getting more poontang than most guys in their 20’s. It’s the statistics; guys pass away younger than woman and there’s less supply. For the guys who do stick around, the demand will be greater.

Plus, this is more of the scarcity, victim-minded thinking. Let it go. You will never get what you want with the attitude ‘I don’t want to be alone’ at any age. If you can’t be alone with yourself, what woman is going to want to be alone with you? Oh that’s right, a woman who also has the scarcity mindset, thinking ‘Well I can’t do any better than him, so I’ll settle’.

Two people who settle for each other deserve each other….

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on May 20, 2009 at 12:11 am vainofstars

Haha, never read this, as I thought my comment was fairly clear.

Reply to King:

“Roman times 100 b.c. – 500 a.d. where wedding was used for gaining power, influence and money. Nothing like marrying your hot daughter to a wealthy elite. Please stop being so ignorant, Asian cultures before feminism had very respectable / classy (whatever the fuck that means) wedding rituals.”

Key word in my original comment; wedding ceremonies. Wedding ceremonies have always been celebrations of prosperity. Even paupers celebrate marriage with a display of what excess they can afford. Your point re: roman marriages is moot, as I was referring to the rituals of union and not the purpose of the union itself. Tangent: it is only recently that many human relationships, including marriage, have been conducted for love and not power.

As for Asian cultures, being Chinese and having attended 1 cousin’s wedding and 2 upcoming before the year is out, we are still quite firmly wedded to tradition and custom. There is a particularly charming tea ceremony for the bride to formally meet and serve the groom’s parents. It serves no true practical purpose in this age but it remains part of the ceremonies. Ceremonies plural, as they occur over the course of several days, and not the singular day of western ceremonies.

I might also add that my family is strongly attached to it’s cultural roots, and that all the menfolk of my family are dominant in their households. It’s not feminism that is affecting my generation most, but westernization. The western cousins, such as myself, are much more likely to cause trouble, but none of us have piercings or boyfriends after midnight.

Please scan wikipedia, at the very least, in your rush to slap down a soundbyte. You play the court fool better than king.

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on May 20, 2009 at 2:38 am David

Who are these women coming here and preaching to the men that “You will be sorry you did not get married”. Really? This is like a used car salesman telling me I will be sorry that I did not buy his piece of shit car.

Go sell your lies elsewhere ladies! We are done with you and your jury-rigged, adultery-rewarding, divorce laws.

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on May 20, 2009 at 6:03 pm Lady Rain

I wouldn’t worry about anyone wanting to marry you. What crazy dark world do you live in where you think time has stopped at 1960 and that all women still dream of weddings as little girls and just hope that they “aren’t alone” when they’re old. It’s great for you guys to also have this attitude toward not settling…. no one should settle! However thinking that you’ll be a “catch” at 60 is ridiculous. The only way that would happen is if you’re extremely famous and can afford to pay women to be with you when you’re old and disgusting.

I’ve heard a lot of guys here talk about “not settling” as if there will be some desperate scramble of women to get married to you and you’ll have an assortment of choices.

Whether you’re a man or a woman… no one is a hottie at 60 and if you honestly believe you’ll be “getting tons of poon” you are retarded. You seem to be AGAIN forgetting the one rule that no one can argue: women can ALWAYS get laid no matter WHAT they look like.

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on May 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm Chic noir

lady rain I wouldn’t worry about anyone wanting to marry you. What crazy dark world do you live in where you think time has stopped at 1960 and that all women still dream of weddings as little girls and just hope that they “aren’t alone” when they’re old. It’s great for you guys to also have this attitude toward not settling…. no one should settle! However thinking that you’ll be a “catch” at 60 is ridiculous. The only way that would happen is if you’re extremely famous and can afford to pay women to be with you when you’re old and disgusting.

I agree some women are indifferent to marriage and children.

Different men & women want different things. Some men will take an 5-7 who respects him, domestic, and is a good mother. Another man won’t accept anything less than a 9.5 but will look past all the other stuff.

Some women want a good-looking man who brings home money and they are willing to look the other way while he cheats. Some don’t care about looks much but want a husband will be a hands on father will the children and brings home steady money, but doesn’t have to be rich. Others want an ugly man whom no other woman will look at. Some women want to long-term partner at all, they like their lives they way they are or want to adopt children.
I guess it’s just a matter of where our priorities are.

David=Da? lol

*shrugs shoulders

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on May 20, 2009 at 10:31 pm Reactionary

What crazy dark world do you live in where you think time has stopped at 1960 and that all women still dream of weddings as little girls and just hope that they “aren’t alone” when they’re old.

Well basically, most of them just go batshit insane still waiting by the phone for Michael Douglas/Bill Clinton/Barack Obama/Brad Pitt to call them back. Like Maureen Dowd and Sean Young. Then they join book club-covens and complain to each other how men must be so “threatened” by intelligent women.

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on May 5, 2010 at 5:57 am iBluray

I’ve heard a lot of guys here talk about “not settling” as if there will be some desperate scramble of women to get married to you and you’ll have an assortment of choices.

[editor: men generally have more choice than women in the later years.]

Whether you’re a man or a woman… no one is a hottie at 60 and if you honestly believe you’ll be “getting tons of poon” you are retarded. You seem to be AGAIN forgetting the one rule that no one can argue: women can ALWAYS get laid no matter WHAT they look like.

[no, they can’t. after they age past the ugliness threshold no man will have them. and even the women who have not yet hit the wall will find the quality of their suitors rapidly deteriorating as they get older and uglier.
or single mom-ier. heh heh.]

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on June 2, 2010 at 1:16 pm hitfive

they can’t. after they age past the ugliness threshold no man will have them. and even the women who have not yet hit the wall will find the quality of their suitors

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on July 27, 2010 at 10:53 pm christianlouboutin

Two people who settle for each other deserve each other….that sentence is very nice. i think a wedding has a higter status in girl’s heart then boy’s

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on September 15, 2010 at 2:56 am Rarfy

LOL weddings have been “ostentatious displays of whorish overconsumption” since the beginning of time.

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