Do you think I am the first to notice that a significant number/sizeable minority/secret majority of women get turned on when a man hits them?
Heh. No. Here’s a little ditty by The Crystals, an all women singing group, circa early 1960s:
Thanks to reader Luke Stiles for sending me this link.
And to all you piously indignant losers and pantywaist nancyboys with your skirts over your heads who can’t handle the truth… take it up with the ladies. They were singing about the dark recesses of female desire long before I ever arrived on the scene.
In the voice of that squat little lady from Poltergeist: This truth is gleaned.
GAHHHH!H!!!!! FIRST!
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Yes, I remember that the song was quite a hit, because its universal truth resonated with everyone so deeply.
[editor: or maybe it wasn’t a hit because its universal truth resonated a little *too* deeply. think about it.]
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The most trouble I’ve ever gotten in in online discussions has been when I’ve championed that idea that women actually like being abused. But I think the abuse has to be tempered by “but baby I’m sorry, I love you”, the basic push-pull method popular in Game.
It’s pretty simple really: Women like to be dominated and physical abuse is an explicit form of domination. If it doesn’t get out of control, women respond to it deep within their carnal recesses.
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“They were singing about the dark recesses of female desire long before I ever arrived on the scene.
”
no no on see the proper response is simply to call you a middle aged pervert and a bad man. The loser stalkergirl mind only works in ad-hominem.
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Allison Iraheta – Beat Me Up (2009)
You always make me do those things, things, things
Shut me up then make me sing, sing, sing
You love it when I scream your name, name, name
But you get your kicks out of causing me pain, pain, pain
You always pick me up
And then you hold me down
I guess you’ll never know
‘Cause baby even though you beat me up, beat me up
I still love you ‘cause you heat me up, heat me up
And that’s why every time you hit me up, hit me up
I come running ‘cause you fix me up, fix me up
– – –
Trixie Smith and Her Down Home Syncopators – You’ve Got To Beat Me To Keep Me (1925)
You’ve got to beat me to keep me, cause mama loves a hard boiled man
So don’t you let no man cheat me, if he’s got a good right hand.
Beat me up for breakfast, knock me down for tea,
Black my eye for supper, then you’re pleasing me.
You’ve got to beat me to keep me, cause mama loves a hard boiled man.
Mama don’t want no diamond rings and she don’t want no swell clothes
Wail me daddy til it stings across my mouth and nose.
I don’t want no hug and kiss, I don’t want no love and smile,
Beat me with your hand or fist, Papa like I was your child.
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[after reading up on wikipedia]
The song was apparently intended as a feminist protest song against such abuses, but with Phil Spector’s poker-faced arrangement, the song simply documents, neither rationalizing nor rebuking.
In other words: the song’s interpretation is up to the listener’s inclinations. A feminist would see pure irony; Roissy would see pure truth.
I remain cheerfully unconvinced by either party.
Would there be such splintered interpretations of Oingo Boingo’s “Little Girls”?
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Women who like to be “hit” are not mentally well. Men who like to “hit” women are not mentally well. While it’s entirely possible that these two groups may find each other, that doesn’t mean that it is healthy.
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Damn. It only took until the 7th comment for some tool to come out and throw down the tired ‘mental issues’ criticism. The white knights must be sitting at their computers and continually hitting refresh on Roissy’s homepage in between jacking off to anime.
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Entry for the “That’s F*cked-Up” contest.
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Sexually and physically abused girls may grow up to associate violence with sexual interest, but I am not inclined to believe a majority of women respond to beatings with sexual interest.
Violence towards the adult female, likely indicates a likeihood of violence towards any young that may come from the sexual union. Reproduction is so consuming of resources for the female, I doubt the average female body agenda would respond positively to violence directed at her for fear of wasting time and energy on having his young.
Likewise the men that become sexually excited by beating women, are extremely sick individuals. Thankfully they are few.
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Sorry but no person enjoys physical or mental abuse unless they are unhealthy.
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woman wants to be dominated. this is pretty much established, because really, it all boils down to sexuality, doesn’t it?
but there are varying degrees of taste from one woman to another. in fact, these degrees are quite sweeping.
almost all women want to submit to an aggressive take-no-shit alpha, but some don’t want to be abused and won’t tolerate it; others insist on being abused… even if just a bit.
…the dominatrix is very rare though, and in my experience most women simply don’t want to be on top.
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From lovesick teenage girls to drunken spinsters in wistful moments, all women sigh longingly to the mellifluous words of Aretha’s “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.”
High school kids in dads’ cars from coast to coast make out to its charged rhythms.
The song is also a staple at weddings, every young bride’s choice for her first dance.
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Yup, women want dominant man, and hitting a woman is a form of dominance. Duh.
That said, is a piss poor form of dominance, but that can be said of thuggish behavior in genreal. Is the weapon of males that cannot be dominant of any other way, and women who respond to a prolonged use of that are mostly ghetto mamas/future ghetto mamas.
A wet pussy is always good, but said women aren’t worth much beyond that.
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Ok ok, I re-readed and discovered that I was bullshitting, I mean, forgot to add something.
Ghetto mamas are damaged goods and its noticeable. Aka they are fuglies.
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Even if this is true you shouldn’t talk about it. It will just give you and the PUA movement a really bad rep.
You don’t need feminists running around saying you advocate hitting women. It cannot be good for you.
[editor: only very stupid people confuse observation with advocacy.]
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No surprise.
These four ladies each carried a bible around with a hanky in proverbs stating: “He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). Smacking loved ones was/is part of their culture.
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i think the Motels covered this in the 1980’s……………i’d have to check…
why yes, they did…………link above. Remember “Only the Lonely” by the Motels? Great song, great sax solo (and a guitar solo too). Music was better back then.
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I like the Hole cover of this song, but adore C Love’s messed up voice.
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And a lot of wierdo guys out there like to watch their wives and girlfriends cheat on them. I think the girls who like to get hit are probably the female counterpart to the willing cuckold/slave-boy.
[editor: doubtful. cuckoldry fantasies among men, like bestiality, are an example of rare outlier behavior. inflamed passion when emotionally or physically dominated/abused is a far more common occurence among women, so much so that it violates the outlier definition and represents a substantial segment on the continuum of female sexual behavior.]
Both cases are the result of mental problems.
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The basic premise here is that women cue in on some kind of emotional response, whether it is a smack, a shake, lost cool, outright anger or any break in the facade of disinterest. Watch nearly any movie made since 1920 if you haven’t experienced it yourself.
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I collect records and I’ve never seen this one. but heres two I remember at the top of my head to have this kind of stuff.
“You ain’t nothin but a playboy using me for a play toy.”
and this is some song where this chick stalks her guy. it shouted love at the heart of the world
just can’t compare old school music to now.
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The Crystals are dope.
Some real Cadillac rolling music.
the crystals hes sure the boy i love:
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My ex-husband hit me and did not feel like a kiss, all catchy tunes aside. Guess I must be an exception to the rule. I must say that being ignored is worse, though. Actual abuse is something obvious you can get your mind around. The silent treatment is a much worse mind fucker. Now why is that?
[editor: you’ve hit on a good point. it’s for this reason the silent treatment has been one of my favorite go-to options for behavior modification purposes.]
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“He couldn’t stand to hear me say
That I’d been with someone new
And when I told him I had been untrue
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew he loved me
Cause if he didn’t care for me
I could have never made him mad
He hit me and I was glad”
Wow.
[editor: wow is right. remember what i have always written. hate is not the opposite of love. indifference is the opposite of love.]
I’ve gotta hand it to ’em, their logic is unassailable. The man’s jealous fury upon hearing such news really is strong evidence that he cares for his unfaithful lover.
A guy who viewed her as nothing more than a pump-and-dump would just shrug if he heard that she’d been with someone else. On the other hand, a guy who really loved her would want her all to himself, and would be enraged if he found out someone else had had her.
Now that I think about it, that could explain the peculiar female tendency to purposefully make her lover jealous. If she succeeds in making him jealous, it proves that he cares.
[editor: be careful about satisfying a woman’s need to see you jealous. if you surrender too far to your jealous instincts you also lose the power of calculated aloofness in the relationship. toy with the dark art of jealousy at your risk.]
I think I’m beginning to understand girl logic. I’m going to listen to some more songs by the Crystals.
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I don’t know about dominating women. How do you dominate some female who has aversion to being dominated?
[editor: the answer is in the execution.]
Plus, so many women always have boyfriends. What then?
[xhamster.]
I keep running into the same situation. I keep running into women as the bbd. Is it wrong to steal women from other men who don’t have game?
[probably, but it’s not like you’re going to be punished for it in an afterlife.]
Is it theft?
[only if the stolen good is incapable of returning to her owner.]
Or is it a more prudent use of natural resources?lol.
[nonrenewable.]
I feel guilty which is messing things up.
[guilt is the game-killer.]
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Is it a biological inevitable that most women have a desire towards submissiveness? A Real Man has high levels of testosterone which make him capable of being muscular, risk-taking, dominaneering and punching first and asking questions later. Hence a Real Women with her less testosterone and more oestrogen may actually have a release of endorphins when in fear or in pain because she can’t biologically muscle nor dominate her way out of a dangerous situation. Conversely since Blokey Women with high level of testosterone act like a Real Man – do not Girly ‘men’ with low levels of testosterone find themselves readily submitting to someone and can even an ‘unexplainable’ type of enjoyment of being dominated or in fear or in pain? You know weirdos who say “rather dangerous situations are enjoyable and inviting because it makes you feel ‘alive'”? Most Alpha males don’t seem to like pain and if you start a fight with them they’ll wipe the flloor with you and mos won’t definitely say that being threatened “made them feel alive”.
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Another cover – quite spooky:
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[guilt is the game-killer.]
How do you deal with that – especially in the form of crying girls?
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So, the song was written by 3 people. 2 were men. 1 was a woman. Not sure who wrote the lyrics.
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As for the women who wouldn’t tolerate actually being hit, you can at least establish an underlying, vague threat that if they push you too far, it can happen. You don’t even have to say anything or ever raise your hand to them. Just the way you look at them when they annoy you. That sinister, evil look. Or an imposing body language.
Most women know deep down that the only thing truly holding you back from destroying them physically, besides that you’re a good guy, are laws. I think some girls get off on seeing how far they can push you, that fear excites them, and if you do ever lose it and raise your hand to them but not actually hit them, that’s a victory for them.
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“hate is not the opposite of love. indifference is the opposite of love”
~you stole my line.
i was teasing a girl i worked with, and she said “i hate you”. i smiled and asked her what the opposite of love is. she said “hate”.
i said “absolutely not. hate is as strong, and sometimes as positive an emotion as love. the opposite of love is indifference. when you say you hate me, you’re crying out, ‘i want you’.”
she was taken aback, but liked it.
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[editor: you’ve hit on a good point. it’s for this reason the silent treatment has been one of my favorite go-to options for behavior modification purposes.]
Doesn’t this “behavior modification” somehow fuck up the modifier? Of course it does. Now why is that?
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There’s this thing called “BDSM.” I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. But it’s a wonderful way to get out this sort of animalistic urge and have a sane, companionable, equal relationship the rest of the time.
I suggest you look into it.
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Cuckoldry is a bad example because it’s the opposite of traditionally attractive male behavior, while physical abuse is a pretty standard example of it, dominance. And there are cases of widespread bestiality, such as contemporary northern Columbia, donkey-fuckers.
Physical abuse is a sexual strategy with benefits and costs. There is some evolutionary reason for it to be around. Maybe men who didn’t beat their women were cheated on more. Or beaters have higher testosterone and are thus generally more attractive. On the other hand, beaters may make bad fathers.
All speculation, but there is a historical propensity to abuse and many potential factors to explain it. If these were the only factors, maybe it’d have some connection to r/k selection and Rushton’s race theories, and make some testable predictions, true or false.
The only question is really how many women are more turned on than put off by it.
Zsa Zsa Gabor: “A woman who has never been hit by a man has never been loved.”
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You left out the best part. “He Hit Me” was co-written by feminist pop icon CAROLE KING!!!!!!
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In my experience, the number of women who get turned on by being spanked is huge.
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to all the faggoty nancy-boys out there that think women don’t like to be hit, you’re obviously not getting laid much these days
there are lots of nice, normal, pretty, healthy, employed, women who like their fathers, and weren’t beat up or abused, that like to be seriously dominated in the sack:
a) i’m talking repeated full-swing ass slapping, hair pulling, arms pinned, hand around the throat, facials kinda shit
b) some even like to be slapped, throat fucked, and verbally abused.
in fact, most city girls will think you are a fucking pussy if you don’t do at least a), and b) if asked.
It’s not a stretch to think that some might like to get hit.
You are stuck in your shitty, lights off, milquetoast, missionary-only, same girl since before the internet sex life, and should watch and learn on this site before making diagnoses.
el chief
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michael buble. this dude’s an alpha so this is totally related. notice how even after the ex-model chick badmouths him, she’s still pining for his alpha cock when she adds ‘But he was good in bed.’ amazing
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/singer-michael-buble-craves-sex-and-pot/story-e6frfn09-1225825309568
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All of you deserve to be put up against a wall and shot.
[editor: does that include the crystals?]
To hell with scum.
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“Physical abuse is a sexual strategy with benefits and costs. There is some evolutionary reason for it to be around. Maybe men who didn’t beat their women were cheated on more. Or beaters have higher testosterone and are thus generally more attractive. On the other hand, beaters may make bad fathers.”
You’ve got it backwards. For non-human primates physical force is the default method ofconflict resolution. Whether full on beatdowns or dominance/submission displays.
What’s intriguing about human sexual behavior is how non-violent it is (compared with many of our closest relatives). That means either a) there has been positive selection for less violent males b) there has been negative selection for more violent males.
Of course, no behavior can be condoned purely because of evolutionary fitness. Killing a rival and his young children so his mate will bear your offspring (or killing the young offspring of a new mate) are both evolutionarily sound. And that kind of behavior is certainly been attested in humans but it doesn’t lead toward the kind of society most of us want to live in.
It’s also well attested that many women put up with chronic physical abuse because they’re addicted to the man’s inevitable repentance and apologies. The lows (getting hit) are a price they pay for the highs (his earnest vows about how much he loves her and he’ll never do it again).
But even then, there’s always the danger that she’ll eventually get fed up and kill your kids and/or you (or worse). Even the best game in the world and the most macho attitude ever won’t protect you when you’re asleep.
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“But I think the abuse has to be tempered by “but baby I’m sorry, I love you”, the basic push-pull method popular in Game. ”
Ike Turner game.
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HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
unrelated, but…
http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/006914.html
Roissy. Right again.
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So john your willing to put people against a wall and shoot them but you expect us to believe that when you walk in on your wife and her boyfriend fucking your just gonna politely ask them to stop and if they could please go downstairs so you can talk like adults?
But really I think most people are talking about consensual stuff you know between adults like ya know two free people like ya know if one doesn’t like something they can leave. I mean you can even ask a chick to spank her own but if your not there if she has been bad or even if she hasn’t been bad and she will comply normally. he he he
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I’m not going to argue about whether women like to be hit or not, because I really don’t give a shit.
I’m not going to wear fucking skinny jeans just because girls like it, and I sure as fuck am not going to start hitting girls.
Think of guys who have their shit together; the unshakeable guys who don’t react to shit, who never lose their cool. You provoke them, and they just smirk at you for a second, then you’re invisible.
Then think of drunk horny frat boys who are constantly trying to start shit. They’re reactive; they can’t control their horniness to fuck or to fight.
We all know which guy we’d rather be.
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There exists a type of girl who does not abide by a man keeping his cool, and who know exactly how to provoke, and provoke, and provoke, until there is a reaction.
I find it quite naive to say that a guy can just keep his cool and not react. Sure, if you are dating a stone, or a cartoon, or some bland girl who doesn’t much care about you. Most girls are fucking nuts, and will drive you fucking nuts. And if you don’t control them, they’ll take one more inch, and one more inch, until you’re best off just not being anywhere near them.
You either tame the wild horse or don’t get anywhere near it.
Wild horses can be worth the trouble of taming. Some girls simply demand it.
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ozymandias:
But it’s a wonderful way to get out this sort of animalistic urge and have a sane, companionable, equal relationship the rest of the time.
Oooo, a companionable and equal relationship. Sounds like a blast.
No thanks, I’ll take acting like an actual man and having a fulfilling relationship with an actual woman. Not some confused “equal”.
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I think a lot of people are rightly cautious about the wild forces of emotions. it’s quite difficult to use the higher processing centers to reign in the emotional centers. It takes much practice to grow the neurons that lead to fine emotional control. This leads many who are new to dealing with emotional women to assume that simply not having emotions at all is preferable to being under the sway of overwhelming emotions.
This is wrong.
The only way to deal with women is to have fine emotional control. Simply not having emotions loses you the game. Being wildly out of control loses you the game.
Imagine you are scripting a movie. In order for the movie to be engaging to women, it has to have more than what you’d see on the learning channel. It also needs drama and romance and humor and tension and social intrigue. If you want to engage a woman, fully engage all of her so that she actually loves you and does not want to live without you, you need to be able to have fine emotional control such that you can script delicious, delightful, hair raising, troublesome dramas and comedies and horrors. You need to participate in her dramas, to some extent.
You need to engage.
Being Mr. Spock will lose you the girl. Being aloof will lose you the girl. Being Mr. Cool will lose you the girl.
You need a balance, and a base, certainly. But you can’t be Mr. Discovery channel all the time.
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Most women start out as naturals in the game at manipulating mens emotions. But with experience and age it is possible to turn the tables, and ensare the spider. Game the gamer. Use her own tricks against her.
A man is always one step ahead of his woman. He rarely let’s things get to the point of the shit test, but when the shit test comes down, he has the option to lay the hammer down. Hard.
Now laying the hammer down hard might just be a stony look, it might be a voice of fury followed by leaving for another room, it might be more. That’s contextual, and not rule based.
You can’t say it’s never appropriate to cause physical pain. It’s all contextual. What’s appropriate is what is appropriate for the situation. If you judge by results, then some women, some of the time, settle down more and love their man more when some physical taming is part of how he brings the hammer down to her shit test.
Notice I said to her shit test. Not just to make her do shit. Women have a knack of pissing the guy off for a reason – to see if he will own her, or if she can own him and just do as she pleases. And if not deliberately provoking, they’ll do some manipulative power play to wear the man down and slowly gain control over him. Sometimes the hammer must fall.
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And by fine emotional control, i don’t mean not having emotions. I mean more like Bethoven’s control over his arrangements. You feel things strongly, embody them, are inside of them, while at the same time surrounding them and controlling them. You don’t just step back from emotions.
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There is nothing and I mean nothing that turns a woman on more than being around a dangerous man. Just the thought that he could do whatever he wants to her is the single greatest pussy wetter. A man like this almost never needs to demonstrate his physical dominance in actually hitting or beating a woman – a look in the eye, a tone of voice, the message that he won’t take any shit from her is all that is needed. If that is established, actual violence, as opposed to imagined violence is not needed. To be dangerous is to be totally unpredictable. That is what I recommend to men to generate Niagra Falls level gina tingles.
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Simon, to be unpredictable is a game theory strategy. The U.S. has explicitly stated that it’s game theory strategy in terms of foreign policy is to appear as if they are irrational and fucking nuts.
If your opponent is irrational and fucking nuts, you don’t test them. If you know they will behave in their best interest, you can test them. A nutjob will fuck you over even if he fucks himself over in the process.
Yes, it’s important for your woman to fear you. For most women you never need to hit them. But is this discussion even about hitting? It’s about escalating the level of control up and to the point required. Some women love extreme escalation, and nothing but extreme escalation is real to them. That’s irrelevent – the point is control and dominance.
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If what you say is indeed true and most women do have an urge for physical domination .. then this is just a high T thing and one should see a correlation with young girls, high status girls (hot girls) and black (then white then asian) girls.
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Does verbal abuse bring about the gina tingle as much as physical abuse? Thats what Bobby did to Whitney.
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To get the most out of a dog, woman and mango tree, a man must beat all three.
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Isn’t verbal abuse just as effective?
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Whatttt?! … that is so sick…
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The low gets lower. And I love it.
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@yojimbo
Answer:
1. Develop your inner sadist.
2. Develop your inner sadist.
3. Exercise your inner sadist.
Commentary:
Speaking strictly for myself, I find tears to be very erotic.
I learned music because, I love making a woman cry
IMO every man should. He should banish guilt, it profits him nothing. Drawing tears from a woman, should be as natural & easy as drawing blood from another man.
First break her heart, then and only then will you be close to breaking her will. Women are like horses, in this respect. They need breaking to formed into proper servants.
The ideal is the self-sold, harem girl.
She is content in knowing that she is owned. She knows she can do no wrong, provided she is faithfully obedient.
Upon finding her tears to be cleansing as the rain, and cathartic as an caffeinated enema, she thrives under her master’s lachrymational nature.
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Good post.
While full-on beatdowns with baseball bats and fists of fury is pushing it, physical domination is why so many girls love being choked and having their hair pulled.
In fact, if you’re hitting it off with a girl at the bar, I suggest leaning in for the kiss, but stopping just short. Pull the hair and head back, THEN finish off the kiss.
You two will be back at your place like rabbits in no time.
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There is no difference in principle between men who beat women and the deranged psychos who put men away with false DV charges and rape accusations. Both are evil.
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http://vodpod.com/watch/2295087-louis-ck-waitress-rape
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A mango tree? Why must one beat a mango tree? We, as a society, really need to do something about mango tree abuse.
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Small pet-peeve: The term “pantywaist” makes no sense. What Roissy intends is “pantywaste”…i.e. what is collected via douche.
“Pantywaste” is synonymous with “douche”.
Rock on.
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A song from 1960 is ancient history.
It’s not applicable to a current condition when the primo Bitches out there weren’t even born until after the Reagan administration.
Carrie Underwear’s “When he cheats” (or wtf it’s called) has far more “gravitas” and relevance – as do the other 1,000,000 songs about fucking up a guy.
It’s like thinking the military is comparable to its 1960 self.
I agree in principle, but waving a Gadsden Flag invokes odd looks anymore – not esprit de corps.
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1960 America doesn’t exist anymore.
More poignantly, it never will exist again.
How much further away, then, is that 1940 America?
The America Baby Boomers sought to destroy – and destroyed so successfully?
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SPPPPPTTTTTLLLLL! And then oblivion.
As for your wretched, pitiable followers- well I was wrong about them deserving to be put up against a wall and be shot.
First, they really ought to dig their own graves first. Just to be tidy. And then the Maxim guns sing, and then the quicklime!
(of course, I can’t endorse any of that. It would be illegal)
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I can’t determine what word cast me into commentmod limbo.
It’s like chancing Russian Roullette – in a minefield.
Frustrating in an arbitrary way – the worst kind.
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If it’s the right moment, the right build up, with the ‘right’ guy, then yes, a smack or a strong push and pin is a major turn on.
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I just experienced this first-hand. No, I didn’t smack a girl around because she annoyed me–this chick’s explicitly into spanking. I went overboard this time, with welts. She cried and cried, and I got a bit nervous thinking I had gone too far, but I maintained state control and just stood there.
When I went to pour myself a glass of whiskey, she asked me tearfully if I’d “stay” with her. So I said yes, then got my drink and came back and “stayed” with her (which consisted of me sitting in a chair reading my book–Michel Houellebecq, highly recommended–while she cried herself out). She then told me she loved me. I looked at her and said, “I know.” She cried for another half-hour or so, again while I read my book. Then she got up, took a shower, and wanted to snuggle with me while we watched a movie. That night, she sucked my cock like the path to salvation lay therein.
Push and pull, extreme edition. Too bad I’m ditching her this month for a hot physical therapist.
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I just experienced this first-hand.
You just spanked a girl while reading Houellebecq, all on a Monday early afternoon? Took a day off?
Umm, I guess you could be still in school, or retired, or in the eastern hemisphere.
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raoor – if only you could write, you’d be perfect
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For the Maginas and Feminist, no less than feminist Joss Whedon explored this territory in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” where bad-boy Vampire “Spike” rapes Buffy … and Buffy loves him EVEN MORE. Along with several other female characters.
You can see this with the excuse making for Alpha male Roman Polanski. Pretty much half of Hollywood, and all of feminists, want the guy free even though he raped a 13 year old. Why?
Because Polanski is the Big Shot Alpha Male. Women don’t have any objection to the Big Shot (“Spike,” Polanski, Charlie Sheen putting a knife to his wife’s throat) acting badly and using violence to dominate women. They find it SEXY!
What Sabotta (I assume either gay male, or woman impersonating a man, or White Knight Mangina) REALLY objects to is the exposure of this double standard. Women HATE when men call them out on this.
I haven’t seen NOW storming CBS over employing Charlie Sheen. Or condemning the Free Roman Polanski petitions (signed by many women). No one bashed Joss Whedon from showing the depths of female behavior (love of a Big Shot abusing them) or the same with the female writers of “Mad Men” (full of assaults and so on).
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“[editor: or maybe it wasn’t a hit because its universal truth resonated a little *too* deeply. think about it.]”
So if it had been a hit, you’d then be concluding that the song was untrue? Doubt it. You’re simply interpreting everything after the fact in a way that fits your priors. That’s just theology.
[editor: or i would have remarked that it’s surprising a so-so song became a hit. duh.]
In fairness to your thesis, the song could have been utterly true, and it still wouldn’t have been a hit, because it sucks. I was bullshitting, which I do now and then for fun and because this blog’s the perfect place to do it.
The song itself doesn’t jive with your version of evo-psych. The guy hits her because she cheats on him. Either the alpha jerk is getting cheated on or the beta cuckold is a jerk.
It’s too bad the song was no good, because it had an interesting idea. The song communicates a subtle relationship of mutual dominance and submission. She psychologically dominates him by driving him to rage and he physically dominates her.
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And from Madonna’s Sex book:
http://www.madonna-online.ch/m-online/galleries/1992/92-10-21_sex/sites/sb_030.htm
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Is a b-list Motown group really the best affirmation of a theory? You could use parallel logic to argue (while not via Motown) that Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, College Girls are Easy, and You Ain’t Gotta Lie To Kick It.
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A-Bax: I like your creativity, but the correct word is “pantywaist”. Look it up.
[ORIGIN 1930s: extended use of the literal sense ‘child’s garment consisting of panties attached to a bodice’.]
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Satisfy Me One More Time
(Floyd Huddleston)
Don’t deny me, satisfy me one more time,
Barricade me and invade me, just one more time.
Sacrifice me, don’t be nice, be wild and free.
Make a sex-pot symbol out of little old me,
Caress me, molest me, one more time,
Excuse me and abuse me one more time.
Excite me and ignite me with your sweet torso.
Use your muscles, my corpuscles, wanna go.
Assault me, attack me, lose control.
Let’s smother each other in a good old strangle-hold.
There’s nothing but loving on my mind.
Don’t deny me, satisfy me one more time.
Compromise me, vandalize me, have a ball,
Destroy me and restore me through it all.
Demolish, disassemble and dismantle all my doubts,
It’s confusing, I don’t know my whereabouts.
Bite my ears, baby, nibble on my nose
Let your dimples put those pimples on my toes.
There’s sugar oozing over from my elbows to my knees,
So cover me with kisses, get yourself some calories,
If you don’t want me climbing up the wall,
Don’t fool around my fertile ground at all.
While the cold is getting colder, just be sure,
Everything’s up in my body’s temperature, jack it up.
They’re still a lot of groovy good things on the shelf,
When you reach the cookie jar, just help yourself,
Saying nothing, but the loving on my mind.
Don’t deny me, satisfy me one more time.
Encore, encore, encore.
Admittedly written by a man, Floyd Huddleston, and recorded by a man, Frank Sinatra (no, really), in 1974. But still.
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Singing groups at that level (even now) will sing just about anything the producer puts in front of them if they think it might help make them rich and famous. So there’s not a lot of significance to the fact that a female group sang this song.
The fact that Phil Spector was said producer makes it even less noteworthy.
But what does raise an eyebrow is that Carole Kind wrote this. I’d be very interested to hear her (non-revisionist) take on what was on her mind when she wrote it. Perhaps it’s tongue in cheek (Oingo Boingo’s “Little Girls” is a great example,) or perhaps she meant it to be interpreted literally, which is possible, because indeed, indifference is the opposite of love.
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One other thing: The fact that it didn’t do well on the charts is no surprise at all, no matter what the lyrical content. The melody is uninteresting, the vocal performance is very pedestrian and the tempo is too slow.
The song is a dud, even if it’s about unicorns and rainbows.
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Type: “why do women like” into Google and see which auto-suggestion has the most results . . .
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The best answer from Wikianswers?:
“Ehm, I’m not sure why we prefer bad boys, anyway I think bad boys are more interesting indeed. I know some guys who are really nice, but they are so nice that you feel as if they are your eldest brother or something like that, I mean who wants to date with her brother?…
nobody!”
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Interesting, I’m reminded of a relationship I had a number of years ago, with a fairly sophisticated, classy, banker, who had recently divorced a very stodgy accountant.
On the first date we talked casually over Sushi, I was being very laid back, but not showing much interest. It was a bitterly cold evening in December as I left her off at her apartment, I said a simple goodbye and turned to leave, but noticed an expectant look in my date’s eye. In a flash I turned back and put my arm around her and kissed her. She raised an arm to put around my shoulder, but I stopped her and took hold of her wrist and bend it firmly behind her back, then took the other wrist and did the same, holding them with one hand. Then I probed her mouth deeply for a few minutes, all the while running my free hand through her long hair and tugging it softly, before biting her earlobe. She shivered in the cold air*, and I left abruptly without saying much.
Three days later we met again, for drinks at her place. When I got in, she had 2 glasses of red wine poured. I took off my coat and handed it to her to hang up, reached for a glass and with a modest toast, downed half of it. Then hardly waiting for her to take a sip, I led her by the hand to her couch, where I sat back, and told her to straddle my legs. We kissed heavily for a few minutes, while I groped her ass, then I spanked her. She gave a start and said she had never been spanked before, so I spanked her a few more times as we kissed and she started to dry hump me and moan softly**.
Later on in the bedroom, I would give her a sound bar-bottom spanking that reddened her ass considerably. Then another harder one still later, after much sex.
The next day about noon she called me on my cell at work saying, “Do you realize that my ass is completely red, with some welts, and I’ve had meetings all morning and can barely sit still, it’s so sore? What do you have to say for yourself?” I said nothing. She repeated herself, only louder, saying, “What kind of guy would do that to someone?” I said nothing. Finally she said, “Are you listening to me, my ass is really sore!!” I took a long pause and said, “Does it hurt enough…?” Whereupon she screamed, “YOU TOTAL ASSHOLE!!!” and slammed down the phone. She called me 2 days later saying that she was going to finish up work early and would love to see me at her place at 5:00 PM.
And so it goes…
* She told me that she actually orgasmed via kissing on that first date…
** She told me that she orgasmed twice due to her first spanking, while totally clothed on the couch…
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Holy shit, ThatGuy, that’s a great story. 9 1/2 Weeks-type erotic-obsessive domination. Kudos.
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I think the lyrics in comment #5 make the point better than this song does. She’s cheatin’, he’s angry, she’s happy that he’s angry enough to hit her – that is a different dynamic.
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A remarkable % of women seem to fantasize about being spanked, though certainly all of them wouldn’t go through with it in the real world.
Psychologically, a spanking is an exercise of authority for the good of the spankee. So a woman being spanked can feel dominated while also feeling taken care of.
In our society, most people would officially at least consider this bad behavior, not something a modern liberated woman would do…so she can also feel like she’s doing something a little sinful, which is usually a turn-on.
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Tinderbox: Let me just say, D’oh! My bad….
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Oh oh oh! Has anyone mentioned Cutty from The Wire yet?
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*thinking out loud*
gotta get the mojo back over here. Spearhead can get like a bunch of Randall & Klugmans sharing outbursts about alimony – then hugging it out in the Sweat Lodge.
Yeah – a dose of The R…ahem
I theorize MRAs and mgtows, when they say “it sucks now!” must surely have a base line on which they view as The Ideal.
Nostalgia for precisely 1960 is where I place this Magical Era.
No Kennedy assassination. No Johnson’s Great Society – no Vietnam, no riots, no Watergate. Even blacks had high levels of employment and low out of wedlock births.
Today, we can view this era as an ideal exemplifying aspects of society that we want returned – but the wise realize the Genie is out of the bottle.
Only by the most protracted, applied effort will we ever come close to recapturing the spirit that once was.
I am unconvinced that even a small minority can even comprehend such a duty.
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“There exists a type of girl who does not abide by a man keeping his cool, and who know exactly how to provoke, and provoke, and provoke, until there is a reaction.
“I find it quite naive to say that a guy can just keep his cool and not react. Sure, if you are dating a stone, or a cartoon, or some bland girl who doesn’t much care about you. Most girls are fucking nuts, and will drive you fucking nuts. And if you don’t control them, they’ll take one more inch, and one more inch, until you’re best off just not being anywhere near them.
“You either tame the wild horse or don’t get anywhere near it.
“Wild horses can be worth the trouble of taming. Some girls simply demand it.”
I came by this post to see if anything of value was written. Xsplat takes the cake again, and continues to be one of my favorite commenters (a dubious honor). The whole series of comments he made was gold.
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xsplat–
Absolutely right.
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Most of these women probably deserve to be hit seeing they fall in love with thugs and lowlifes who deserve to be gang-raped in prison.
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xsplat wrote:
“There exists a type of girl who does not abide by a man keeping his cool, and who know exactly how to provoke, and provoke, and provoke, until there is a reaction.”
On the other hand, there are women who value the company of a gentleman.
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Obstinance:
Gentlemen?
Gentlemen bring muffin-tops.
Gentlemen bring social coccooning.
And soccermom-hood.
They bring extra pounds brought on by contentment, knowing you’ve snagged a little beta that you can run roughshod over.
Gentlemen bring extra-martial affairs, because they’ll never be as good in bed as an arrogant bastard who will objectify us and we know it.
And there’s always the passive-aggressive communications they bring, because they’ll never step up to the plate.
They bring forth visions of retirement to a trailerpark community in Palm Springs, CA.
They let us run wild for girls’ night out, buy us gifts, let us play games with their ego and their sex drive for months before possibly, maybe, putting out, but really, it’ll likely only be a half-hearted handjob.
They whine when they get jealous, but they won’t do anything, because to take action, to speak their mind, would be rude, would be “ungentlemanly”. And, really, they’re afraid they will lose us if they don’t let us have free rein.
They’re the guy that we bitch about to our girlfriends that they can’t do the dishes right, can’t sweep the floor right, only vaccuums once a month and misses spots. The guy who will dutifully attend every family gathering and send out those horrible, holiday-themed, “everyone, let’s wear fake antlers for this photo!” Christmas cards.
They lose all of their guy friends as we cut them off, one by one, explaining why they’re losers, explaining how they’re bad influences, how all their time should be devoted, somehow, to us.
They don’t understand games, they don’t understand how to keep things moving, they don’t understand how they got harnessed into marriage to fill our financial dreams, wondering why we get fatter every year.
I’ll pass on your gentleman and stay with a bastard alpha who keeps me on my toes, who always keeps me guessing, leaves me screaming in bed, and pushes me to be my best for him in all ways.
As women, we’re represented by what we can catch. Our male indicates our desirability, our success. Why would I want a gentleman representing what I am? Why would I want a man whose spine is shrinking as my waistline is growing to show the world who I am?
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snork snork snork snork snork snork snork
hey little piggy
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Nice rant I got chills.
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Poetry, never has ascerbic tasted so sweet.
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why is it that ppl can not see the diference between being abusing and liking a dominant sex life?
yes a women wants her man to be strong and protect her and may like him to take control in situations in there life, this does not mean that she wants him to beat the shit out of him when he is mad.
no person has the right to do that to anybody, i dont believe a women wants to be beaten not even a “mentally” challenged one, she may know the situation to well and expect it as it is what she knows but i can doubt that she wants it to be that way..
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Gentlemen get women who are right in the head. They also live longer and don’t have to display hypermale physicality and raise their voice as much as thugs HAVE to. Their influence is based on the real power and true respect they have, not from phony strength and fear. Mind over matter mostly. Nice try with the strawman arguments anyway. Donald Trump IS a gentleman. Tupac WAS not.
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I noticed something. It’s not about women being beaten and liking it. Or about mental instability. What it’s about is being hit…or rather, being punished. When they know that they’ve done something worthy of the punishment and you give them that punishment then maybe it turns them on because of the inherent dominance behind it. If your in the position to punish then you are of a higher status and you are using that status to dominate. Domination, we all know what it means to a relationship. If she dominates, it’s over, if he dominates then it’s never over. Not that I’m condoning beating. Beating is senseless and disgusting, there’s no reason to beat someone. But a hit, hitting someone, male or female is an action that transcends all human speech, it is the ultimate body language, it is your assertion of dominance or your attempt to claim it.
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Ya, no kidding, Alex.
We’ve been saying the same thing over and over on this forum. And over.
But many women simply are not capable of hearing that. They poke their fingers in their ears, and then come back with an objection to a straw man.
Try to speak as clearly and as nuanced as possible to some women, and it’s a total waste of time. They don’t even want to know what you REALLY mean. They just want to argue against some idea that is stuck in their head that they assume is what you REALLY mean, regardless of what you say.
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I’ve just read every word on this page – fucking delicious.
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Simon said
“There is nothing and I mean nothing that turns a woman on more than being around a dangerous man.”
I agree – women seem to love guys who treat them like sh*t on many different levels. Then when it all falls apart, these same silly bitches whinge about how there are no “nice ” guys out there.
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I myself have noticed that girls love it when you kiss them on the neck instead of the mouth. Recently, in a weird mood and feeling rather like a predatory animal, instead of a simple kiss I placed my jaws around her windpipe and delivered a bite-kiss.
The clothes fell off.
Also tried jugular with similar results.
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