I strongly suspect at least one, and probably two, commenters who soil this blog with hater comments are (American) exes of mine. I think I know who you are.
I have a question. I’m sure you’ll read this. If it bothers you so much to read my blog, why do you do it? Do you get off making yourselves feel like crap every time you come here? Are you masochists?
I have some advice for you. STEP AWAY FROM THE BLOG. Seriously. Delete your link to this blog and never think about it, or me, again. You’ll feel a lot better and your aching heart will thank you. Have some dignity, for christ’s sake.
BUT YOU BROKE MY HEART I LOVED YOU YOU WERE THE ONE!
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First
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Women like to be victims, what can I say? They probably resent you for becoming blogosphere royalty as well… that immortal female urge to always catch the top alpha, and all the regret that is entailed when they let him slip through their aging, cat-stroking fingers.
Or maybe you really do have small junk, Roissy, and this is sufficient to rouse them to their burning hatred. After all, women are a mystery, so they like to tell us. Some are even beta enough to believe it!
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Roissy, you are assuming women are rational
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The subject of stalkers deserves a lot more attention than it has received, imho. It is a phenomenon inseparable from the hypergamy and short shelf-life-hottness of most females. It is a problem that springs from the fundamental issues of the male/female dynamic. If you are a desired kind of guy, it is just a matter of time…
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so are you telling us you banged LR and Denise?
[editor: with david alexander’s mighty ebony member.]
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I’m surprised they’ve been incognito.
In my experience, women are quite shameless in revealing their stalkiness.
In the last few weeks I’ve had exes trolling through my facebook profile and asking me about events I rsvpd (“how was molly’s party?”) and forward me photos from my vacations w/ commentary (“dick”).
Much like when they get caught at *anything* they’re not embarassed in the slightest, b/c it can all be rationalized and blamed on you.
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I think he makes a good point!
“Roissy, you are assuming women are rational”
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Alpha or not?
Hilary Duff – balcony blowjob proposal candids in Hawaii, February 19, 2010 *updated*
http://www.celebfanforum.com/showthread.php?t=47090
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^^^ that’ll be the last one
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Some girl trying to get over an Ex sent this to me:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/NEVER-GIVE-UP-on-someone-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-every-day/241808146886?ref=mf
Completely pathetic beta dudes. Fitting this is an Exes post
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[Stalkers are]…a phenomenon inseparable from the hypergamy and short shelf-life-hottness of most females.
This assumes that men don’t do much stalking, which is untrue.
One online journal says that women make up only 12-13% of all stalkers, but it does add that female stalkers can be as dangerous as male ones. See here: http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/37/3/22.full . It also appears that women are more likely to be victims of stalking than men, which isn’t quite the same thing. Of the men who are stalked, they are somewhat more likely to be stalked by other men (for revenge or for sexual purposes isn’t clear) than by women.
I don’t know how much credence to put into such reports, because I would suspect that men are – perhaps – less likely to be frightened of female stalkers, or else too embarrassed to report them to the police. But the enormous disparity in the reported numbers of male vs female stalkers does suggest that men are more likely to be guilty of this kind of behaviour. Wikipedia also cites a number of statistics from different jurisdictions that tend to confirm this suggestion.
Meanwhile, may I suggest that some of the tactics recommended by Gamesters are quite likely to lead to stalking when practised by either men or women? Lying, cheating, and, in particular, promising more than you are willing to give – all of these behaviours can lead to confusion, humiliation, and finally rage on the part of their victims. I’m not saying any of them justify stalking; only that you need to be careful about how you choose your partners, something men are reluctant to acknowledge.
[editor: it doesn’t surprise me that there are more male than female stalkers. when men do things, they do it big. that, and the evolutionary fact that seed is less valuable than egg, meaning spurned seed is more likely to want to keep a tight grip on valued commodity egg. however, the tables are turned when it’s an alpha male doing the spurning. alpha seed is even more valuable than egg.]
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“[Stalkers are]…a phenomenon inseparable from the hypergamy and short shelf-life-hottness of most females.
“This assumes that men don’t do much stalking, which is untrue.”
No, this assumes that in a blog post about female stalkers one might reasonably omit the qualifying adjective ‘female’ from the discussion at some point.
But, for sure, yeah, there are male stalkers. And the rest of your post seems useful and correct.
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Alias
Yeah, OK. But I am a guy and so the whole male stalking female thing is something I can only experience by reading about whereas the female stalking of males is a different matter.
I do not agree that game has much to do with female stalking. Just trying to get away from a hungry for your love female is a dangerous thing per se. Women, by and large, are not wired to take rejection. Maybe women are not wired to be comfortable in the role of overt aggressors in the game of relationships because they cannot cope so easily with the inevitable rejections.
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I feel you on this. I’ve banned over 30 ip addresses since i brought back comments.
The lengths that some of the haters go to keep hating is almost admirable.
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I strongly suspect at least one, and probably two, commenters who soil this blog with hater comments are (American) exes of mine.
What are you gonna do. Haters goan hate.
Just ask Cannon.
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It’s for these reason you should never game a girl who lives close to you.
I learned that lesson the hard way.
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A question I’ve often wondered about is, how do all these PUAs get away with leaving a string of rejected women behind? Do they really “leave them better than [they] found them”, or do they leave twisted, bitter women behind who will do whatever it takes to fuck up your life.
[editor: most PUAs are lying when they say they leave their women better than they found them. that’s flim flam motivational talk. at best, you might leave half the women you’ve known better than you found them. if you are doing any dumping at all, the chick is going to be upset, no matter how charmingly you lay the bad news on her.]
Can one remain friends with exes? (I don’t think so)
[yes, but with several caveats. one, you dumped her. two, you’re getting plenty of ass from other sources. three, she got fat.]
How do you get rid of a clinger? (Aren’t you afraid she might cut your dick off while you sleep and throw it out the window of a moving car? I suppose that’s the risk you take).
[actually, yeah. i’ve had nightmares about that. and i’m pretty sure i’ve dated women capable of doing that.]
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Tupac Chopra – did you end up with a clinger on your hands who you couldn’t avoid?
I’d like to know about the different “pick up” strategies involved in large cities vs small towns.
I live in a small-ish town, everyone knows everyone.
The more small-town a girl is, the more she wilts under my onslaught.
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Awww, don’t be so sensitive, little buddy. It’s not only your exes who come here to spit vitriol. There are those of us in the thinking populace who simply find your writing to be both exquisitely composed and yet too often devoid of reality checks.
For instance, you thought that I was your ex (see Comments: “Valentine’s Day Mascara). Unless you have a vagina (which can’t be ruled out, as your posts are anonymous), it seems unlikely that you and I ever got together.
Glad you were thinking of me, though.
You see, on the one hand, you have nailed important qualities of human nature here that need to be addressed, that are completely ignored by feminists and the academic left. Kudos to you (for that part of your contribution that is original).
On the other hand, you take PUA and Evo Psych to an illogical extreme, painting a cartoon world (see my Comment: Reader Mailbag), sketched out with the pen-strokes of ego and bereft of the natural humility that accompanies any serious endeavor–seduction included. That makes you sound more like a cloistered World of Warcraft player who’s gotten laid a couple of times and suddenly thinks he gets it, or else just a frat-house meathead with a chip on his shoulder toward the women who snub him.
[editor: or a man who reveals the truths of the world with the precision of a scalpel coupled with the thunderblow of a sledgehammer, and wraps it up in a barbed wire bow, and does so in such a way as to get as far under the skin of numbnuts like yourself.]
In short, you are presenting many of your own peculiar hang-ups (shared by many men and women the world over) as being “human nature,” aka “the way things are cause I said.” I simply want to remind you that Reality is much bigger than your bloggy brain (or mine), and I like an excuse to type.
If I’m wrong, show me otherwise. I’m not against you. But I can’t stand it when smart people’s blindness to themselves make them sound stupid. Particularly when so many are listening…
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Certainly the parts of game that go into building comfort and whatnot are designed to trigger pair-bonding emotional responses in women.
In terms of evo-psych, most game is actually beta. It’s about creating pair-bonding and evolutionary feelings in the woman that the man will be there to care for the child.
[editor: all this time reading here, and you still don’t get it.]
That’s also what makes it douchey. It’s designed to trigger emotional states of pair-bonding in the woman without actual feelings of pair bonding on the part of the gamester.
[game is shorthand for seduction. it’s a tool to maximize the odds that the impression a man will leave with a woman is that he is an alpha, and thus highly desireable, male.]
So if gamesters are stalked, it’s because they made implicit beta promises their asses couldn’t cash. Nothing alpha about it.
[no. it’s because they turned their women on, madly.]
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sleepless night creeping (don’t call casual perusal of blogs, facebook etc ‘stalking’) alpha ex online > ten beta-sponsored dinner dates
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About Roissy’s writings not reflecting reality.
Just was talking to a young woman (24) recently. She is rejecting, or pushing, away a single man (30) who can give her everything she wants (marriage, children, house, etc) because she “is giving her heart to another man” and that wouldn’t be fair to this guy.
The other man (35) is a guy going through a highly messy divorce, who will likely emerge damaged goods with neither the will nor the means to get remarried. For example, his wife has two kids, neither of which are his. He drives a truck for a living. Imagine him wanting to start over with another woman who could take him for anything he manages to save from his first divorce.
When I questioned her more about the qualities of the guy she has “given her heart to”, she said “I like the dick.”
So, another girl who winds up with either a loser or with nothing, just because her gina tingles better with the loser.
I know others like her.
Girls think with their vaginas more than men think with their dicks. A man who marries looks for those qualities that make a good wife, and, he appreciates those qualities in his wife. Girls, not so much, until they are much older. Then, they marry some beta provider, and despise him, cheat on him, and cuckold him.
This sort of behavior is just the sort that Roissy illustrates so well in his writings. Reality is seldom configured to suit our vanities.
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Again, have another look at my comments (“Reader Mailbag” and “Valentine’s Day Mascara”), think it over, and then post anything that shows that my assertions do not hold some validity.
The fact that our brief online interaction has warranted some degree of viciousness clearly shows that some part of our arguments has riled the other. So I would agree with you to some extent when you say that your “scalpel” has gotten under my skin. Again, kudos.
It’s the sledgehammer that bugs me. Such an approach shows weakness. “Thunderblows” are delivered by Orcs on video games—not men surrounded by women.
[editor: what do you think i’m like when i’m out and about flirting with women?]
And watch where you’re swinging that scalpel. It may be yourself that you end up castrating.
[no worries. i’m packing adamantium.]
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“it’s a tool to maximize the odds that the impression a man will leave with a woman is that he is an alpha, and thus highly desireable, male.”
No, look at the evo-psych literature. Men can be desirable to women in two ways. By providing genetically good sperm (alpha) and/or increasing the child’s chances of survival by providing resources (beta). Both aspects are attractive to a woman.
[editor: i was answering your false contention that game is about “building a pair-bond with a woman” and letting her know you’d make a good provider. that is only one part of game. mostly game is about establishing alpha (read: the jerk you love) cred, which women are more interested in at the beginning of a courtship anyhow.]
You’ve badly misread the evo-psych literature in some weird high-school virgin kind of way, to say alpha=”cool and desirable” and beta=”lame and undesirable.”
[don’t get your spidey underoos in a bunch. alpha and beta are terms of art which serve as convenient shorthand for describing the range of behaviors that either bring men closer to or farther away from their goal of attracting women.]
Women are programmed to be attracted to both alpha and beta. The attraction just varies over their menstrual cycle. Women want alphas when they’re fertile, and then want alphas to go the fuck away. The attraction goes from alpha towards beta when the woman isn’t fertile.
[betaness has to do with a lot more than simply being a “good provider”. it’s an attitude, a suite of mannerisms. your comments all sound same. it’s like you haven’t ingested a single word written on this blog and you just use the comments to rock your hobbyhorse into oblivion.]
Once you’re into the rapport-building or “comfort” parts of certain kinds game, you’re into “beta” territory. You’re creating the impression in the woman that you’ll be there for her over time.
At the extreme end of the animal kingdom, where mating is simply the female choosing the best sperm with no beta provision, there is no pair bonding or emotional attachment.
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[A personal note: not intended for public Comment]
I don’t know what you may be like when on the prowl. I would imagine anywhere from awkward, to a total jackass, to a dazzling charmer. If I were petty I would insist on the former, if I were charitable I would lean toward the latter. If you’re like many of us, it varies day-by-day.
I suppose that my previous comments (over the last week) were indeed petty stabs. I showed brashness rather than gentility. This blog (in the sense that electronic media are truly “space”) is your territory. To insult a man in his own home is detestable. I allowed my internet-distance to get the best of me.
All apologies.
If some part of my past comments can inform you, then take them for what they are worth. You are a skilled writer: my hat is off to you on that note. Just do be aware of the inevitable weaknesses. You are an intelligent cat. Always be ready to think outside your own box.
Thus ends my weeklong stint as a tick on your scalp. Off to the next (web)host. All best to you. And if your good times go bad, be sure to hide the bodies in a safe place.
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I said “not intended for public Comment.” smirks…
dickhead.
[editor: the good roissy giveth, and the good roissy taketh away. randomly. capriciously. even whimsically!]
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I’ve always found it sadly amusing that so many people take this blog sooo seriously. Maybe it hits too close to home.
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joel said: “When I questioned her more about the qualities of the guy she has ‘given her heart to’, she said ‘I like the dick’.”
Yup, make her go “unngh!” and you’ve got her, don’t matter if you’re trash.
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here’s something for everyone: http://www.pcworld.com/article/190355/tigertext_the_app_for_spies_and_cheaters.html
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Roissy, you caught me .. You have wronged me severely and I want to ruin you … and I will …
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Roissy writes,
it doesn’t surprise me that there are more male than female stalkers. when men do things, they do it big. that, and the evolutionary fact that seed is less valuable than egg, meaning spurned seed is more likely to want to keep a tight grip on valued commodity egg. however, the tables are turned when it’s an alpha male doing the spurning. alpha seed is even more valuable than egg.
You could also reverse the polarity and argue that women, whose eggs are so valuable by your reckoning, ought to be angrier when men waste their precious time than men are when women do so, as neither men’s sperm nor their time are quite as precious to them. In fact, women often get extremely angry when men treat them badly, but most of them do very little about it, beyond making nuisance phone calls. Men are aware of this fact, so they don’t worry too much when they get hang-up phone calls at odd hours after a break-up.
I think the greater likelihood that men will take action against a rejection by a woman in obnoxious ways is more closely related to their greater aggressiveness in general than to the relative values of sperm and egg. Although, of course, men’s aggression is related to their function as sexual initiators and pursuers, so perhaps what I said here amounts to the same thing in the end.
Meanwhile, I think it’s true that most women, and I include myself here, are not very well-equipped to handle rejection. I suspect that’s why so many of us try to rationalize it away by absurd self-deceptions, which in turn is why we need books to tell us “He’s Not That Into You”.
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“Tiger Text” is interesting, but sounds like it was created by a nerd watching to many Mission:Impossible re-runs.
“Secret Agent” would be better. And yeah, I just made that up. “Secret Agent” would simply limit the data query to the multi-keypress selected “current identity”.
You could have a “Sara” database, a “Sydney” database, a “General” database that shows up for everyone. Easy.
Google, I’m sure someone has already made something like that up.
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I have noticed that many of the females commenting on this blog seem to be groveling for Roissy’s attention. Roissy is obviously a person with above average intelligence, who occasionally shows top-notch writing skills. That’s it.
Keep your self respect ladies.
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@ joel: Touche on that one. Not sure women are *more* gina-directed than men are by their wangs – that would be, pardon the pun, hard – but really not much difference. No rationality I can detect …
@ Roissy: Understand your anger and frustration, bro, but if the worst thing psycho-exes do is post annoying shit on your blog … could be worse – much worse – all I’m sayin’ here. I’ve had bad shit go down (some of them really can’t accept the dump, at least not without creating a ton of drama): I’ve been stalked, had guns points at me, witnessed knock-down-drag-out girl-fights on my front lawn, been assaulted myself, had restraining orders in effect (one still at present). Have no illusions, boys: If you pull the Top Alpha ju-jitsu on chicks regularly, especially if you fuck them into oblivion, actuarially you will get into some trouble. Semper Paratus.
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One other thing. I’ve noticed that most of the men commenting on this site talk about things outside their lives, which shows they have an interest in the world around them. This results in more intelligent and entertaining posts. Many of the women just talk about themselves, which is rather boring. Just an observation, although there are exceptions.
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I have a recurring nightmare/fantasy that an ex will come and shoot me while I’m giving a presentation.
These women probably think you’re stalking them somehow. I picked up a girl a couple months ago, and found out she was telling people I was so into her I was stalking her and buying her drinks, based on the fact that I added her on Facebook and got her friends free drinks at an event I was running; I would never buy her a drink. So I deleted her number and ceased all contact. Bitch showed up uninvited at my last house party. I never gave her my address, and the party invite only went to a select group. Crazy bitch was projecting her stalkerish qualities on me!
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“Roissy is obviously a person with above average intelligence”
Damning with faint praise, eh?
Most college graduates have “above average intelligence”.
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Projecting is a major trait of borderline personality disorder. Stalking is one of the BPD traits. She was a BPD, as roughly 10% of women are.
Women can be seriously broken nuts.
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Oh my yes, Laura. That’s what I am. A groveller for Roissy’s attention. Yup. That’s me. That’s all of us.
Of course it’s possible you weren’t addressing me? Oh well. I grovel again in apology.
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@ xsplat: True dat! Alphas need to be aware that, among women who are risk-taking and promiscuous, the BPD rate is a lot higher than 10% – and they are scary, and some are downright dangerous. PUAs need to understand the signs of BPD – easy to detect if you know them – so they can disengage immediately. Serious BPD chicks will stalk you, fuck your life up, boil your kid’s bunny-rabbit, etc. Consider yourselves forewarned, gents!
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@Gdi – you said a mouthful.
I lived with a BPD hottie for a year. She was incredibly hot and we had smoking chemistry. I did it to train my brain to be able to handle such an extreme creature, because I’m of the opinion that BPD traits are just an extreme version of female traits, and if you can handle a BPD, you can handle yourself. In the end I decided no one can handle them for long, and they will wear anyone down, in the end. They will destroy.
She was the 2nd seriously BPD girl I dated. My ex wife was mildly BPD.
I don’t need to go there again.
Yes, gents, beware the BPDs. The highest highs you’ll likely ever get, but also the lowest lows and an everpresent serious danger of jail or death or a dead body on your hands.
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Actually, some people enjoy making themselves feel like crap. As a full-blown omega male I can attest to that – after all this time self-pity is the only thing I have left and so I sometimes read your blog to chase away apathy.
Then again, I don’t leave comments.
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@ xsplat – Wow, can I get what you’re sayin’, bro! And I am in complete agreement with your analysis that BPD traits are just female ones on crack/meth/whatever.
My ex-wife was full-on BPD and, while the marriage was mercifully brief, it was a hellish ride; I was pretty sure she was gonna literally kill me more than once.
Happily she cured me with her emotional flamethrower, and I have zero tolerance for any BPD manifestations, now and forever; there are plenty of hot yet sane and low maintenance women out there.
I’m a PUA to my core, but guys really do need to wise up, know the signs, and be careful. Chicks who are crazy in bed are also frequently just .. crazy.
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Who knows the true nature of women better:
Lesbians or gay men? Or master PUA’s?
A true PUA learns what a real woman is- and that is why they are able to purposefully manipulate certain switches.
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Let me put some meat into the above.
Women love gay men- because gay men understand them in a way most straight men do not.
Women can be their true selves around gay men without fear of repercussion- and without being judged.
I do not think lesbians (even though they are women themselves) “get” straight women in quite the same way.
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“sorry about the multiple posts- just having a heavy stream of thought, that i feel like writing out.”
There is more to the gay male, straight women relationship that meets the eye. It isn’t just about women hanging out with someone that is- fabulous. It goes much deeper than that- Women get something deep that they need from gay men.
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The thing about this whole concept of PUA Alpha male is that it is a bit of an illusion. A lot of so called Alpha males just don’t seem that alpha once you get to know them, not that it makes me like them any less, often it makes me like them more. However, self confidence, self respect and mental and physical toughness are always admirable qualities in a man. Did you really need Roissy to tell you this?
Also, constantly trying to attract and sleep with different women seems like a lot of work.
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Only insecure women who didn’t bond with their fathers get something from butt pirates.
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Andrew, only idiots like you imagine pathologies inside every anus.
You have no idea what a female G spot is, do you? It’s the EXACT correlate to the male prostate.
Fool.
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” It goes much deeper than that- Women get something deep that they need from gay men.”
Would you mind filling us in on this,Game_In_Bk? I’m drawing a blank.
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Laura, your writing sounds a lot like SB’s.
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Is There Anything Good About Men? How Cultures Flourish by Exploiting Men (Oxford UP, 2010)
“This book challenges the widely accepted view that gender politics began with men exploiting and oppressing women. Instead, Baumeister says, men and women have mostly been partners, and gender inequalities arose because wealth, knowledge, and power were created by men in the often rough and brutal competition that was the engine of progress and civliization. This thoughtful and engaging book offers a new vision of maleness that does not tell men that they should try to be more like women.”
http://www.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/SocialWork/?view=usa&ci=9780195374100
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Who’s SB?
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I think my scorned “Slumming It” mistake now works for WordPress and is deliberately giving my blog technical issues.
How man of the women you hooked up with found out you had a blog?
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More, if anyone’s interested, on the forthcoming book by Baumeister here:
http://www.psy.fsu.edu/~baumeistertice/goodaboutmen.htm
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@xsplat: “I’m of the opinion that BPD traits are just an extreme version of female traits, and if you can handle a BPD, you can handle yourself”
I agree; BPD is, like some kind of estrogen overdose. Obviously, they’re nuts, and the breakups will suck, but personally I think they’re worth the trouble. But I drive fast and occasionally smoke unfiltered camels and drink rum straight from the bottle.
Let’s face it; they’re something like 10% of female humanity. They’re not the ugly 10%. You could look at game as treatment for BPD, IMO.
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Baumeister’s book “evil” is very good:
http://www.amazon.com/Evil-Inside-Human-Violence-Cruelty/dp/0805071652
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Ya, and of those roughly 10% of women that are certifiably BPD, about 10% of those will succeed in suicide. They are a genuine risk to life and liberty.
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How else will they know when the heavens open up and the thunderbolt smites you?
In a post-Christian, post-Sexual Revolution world, women have only Fate to avenge them, and they do wait for him – restlessly.
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[editor: it doesn’t surprise me that there are more male than female stalkers. when men do things, they do it big. that, and the evolutionary fact that seed is less valuable than egg, meaning spurned seed is more likely to want to keep a tight grip on valued commodity egg. however, the tables are turned when it’s an alpha male doing the spurning. alpha seed is even more valuable than egg.]
Its this simple principle I have tried to explain to people and how it affects the organization of society. Triple Crown winning seed has the highest value. Mares that can take the seed are next. The rest is cat foot.
This is why achievement minded females are always miserable, as are the beauties. Nothing a woman can do can match the super seed of man. They will never rise to the top because their sisters betray them and follow the man and few worthy men follow them. This seems unjust to them. Naturally the vacuum at the bottom is never considered. The male gamble that loses is not even part of the society. They are the corks that keep the raft floating in the sewers. They never deigned to think that they would take the place of any man. Men at the bottom are invisible fodder, sweating in the galleys of metronomic doom.
Compared to a woman, a man’s lot is one of great variance on his birthday and great stability afterword, unless perhaps he enters the blogosphere.
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@Roissy-
“[no worries. i’m packing adamantium.]”
Would you define yourself, or rather, would you define one of the many characteristics that make up the All-Father known as Roissy, as being “geeky”?
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Eloquently put. And now confirmed by science:
http://www.psy.fsu.edu/~baumeistertice/goodaboutmen.htm
It’s a long piece, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t confirm most everything espouse in the manosphere.
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I would not say all achievement oriented women are miserable necessarily, I would say that women don’t get as much satisfaction out of achievement as men seem to. Most women get more fulfillment out of the personal relationships in their lives then any other successes they have. Although men certainly enjoy personal relationships and women like to be good at things, I would say achievement for it’s own sake is much more important to men.
Thanks for the link to the article. Didn’t read it, but it looks interesting.
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Also, no matter how good a woman is at something, there will be quite a few men who are better. Men tend to dominate most human endeavors.
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Clio said, “Meanwhile, I think it’s true that most women, and I include myself here, are not very well-equipped to handle rejection.”
My darling, my sweetest, my most lovely Clio, I would never reject you. After all this time, after years of pursuing you, I still love you quite dearly, even though I have lost you forever to another, and quite lesser man, than myself.
At least I tried, at least I tried, and I can live with that, and the tears…
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Gents, how do you think this guy handled the situation?
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I would not say all achievement oriented women are miserable necessarily, I would say that women don’t get as much satisfaction out of achievement as men seem to. Most women get more fulfillment out of the personal relationships in their lives then any other successes they have.
I think it’s probably truer that without good “personal relationships” women may well find their achievements unsatisfying, but that when the former are satisfactory, many women – not most, but a signficant minority – long for other kinds of achievement, and take real pleasure in their successes. But I agree that women who find achievement or worldly success (not the same things) alone truly satisfying are rare.
What throws off such calculations, though, is that even the most successful men seldom have to choose absolutely between achievement and personal relationships. They may neglect their relationships, but their families and friends appear to tolerate this with minimal complaint. Women have often had to choose between the two. Faced with such a stark choice, they often downscale their ambitions. The nature of marriage and childbearing ensure that this dilemma will always remain with us.
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Good point Alias Clio. I know many achievement oriented women who once they have children lose much of their ambition. They tend to focus their energy on their children’s development. I am friends with several successful mothers (lawyers, engineers). They rarely talk about work, they are way more interested in their children. I think it’s just in our nature.
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Xsplat
Please show me the proper anatomical position in a womans body that correspondes with the males semin pump.
Thanks in advance.
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Lily
sleepless night creeping (don’t call casual perusal of blogs, facebook etc ’stalking’) alpha ex online > ten beta-sponsored dinner dates
You know what, Lily? Fuck you, fuck you right in the ear. One thing when men shoot shit, pardon, thunderbolt cold hard truths =) about it… But you as a subject of conversation have no say in it. Excluding perhaps complete gameless losers, one bitch’s alpha is another’s moron loser and one’s beta-sponsor is another’s long lost heartbreak and stalking material. So what you do on those dinner dates is simply stealing. Stealing his time, stealing his youth, his fucking life. And it is intolerable and repulsive. That’s where we differ with the most of “roissysphere” – give me an honest slut instead any day, it’s likes of you who need to be shamed.
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9 times out of 10 the person throwing the term “stalker” into the ring is the person not being stalked, but wishes they were. In order for you boys to be “stalked” you treat a girl like shit. Girls get stalked for their looks, personality, values, etc. It backfires on girls when they are nice to a guy and results in him thinking it’s more than what it is. Too soft, they stalk, too hard they call you a feminist. Girls get stalked way more than guys and for their GOOD qualities so it’s a real compliment. I’ve been stalked to the point that the guy contacted my parents. I’ve also been followed out to my car, on the metro, and out of a bar several times. Scary. But I never talked about it and I never call any guy a stalker even when they are blatantly doing it. Who cares?
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“alpha seed is even more valuable than egg”
Ahahaa…….so true, just look at sperm banks. I wonder whats the record for the most insemination by an Alpha sperm donor?
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Why don’t you just block them and get it over with?
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Laura – yes, it may be in our nature to let go of ambition when we have children, but what I was also saying was that because of the unique nature of the mother-child relationship, a woman who does keep up her ambitions is likely to find it very difficult, and, often, to end up with many angry and unhappy family members and friends around her.
High-achieving men often make their wives and children unhappy too, but rather than reject them, their families simply work harder for their attention. Look at artists of various types: Picasso’s children fought desperately for his notice, although he was villainous to them. Evelyn Waugh was a capricious father but his children adored him all his life and only after his death did one or two become critical of him.
On the other hand, Muriel Spark and Rebecca West had a very hard time with their children, and their personal lives were a wreck. I could think of many other examples, but I’m sure you get the idea. Children need their mothers’ total attention in their early years, and neglect at that critical time isn’t likely to be forgiven them. If a woman is lucky enough to be rich, she might be able to manage it, but if she’s struggling for success in the face of poverty while trying to raise a family, something has to give. Sometimes its her marriage, and if that happens she may well find that her children get angry with her for pushing their father away. It’s a tough situation for women with real talent, but as I said, I don’t see any easy way to fix it.
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Alias/Laura,
The dilemmas you speak of are so true. It has been somewhat unfair to my stbx to expect both from her and has caused nearly as much problem as her frigidity and weight gain.
High achieving men may neglect their friends and family and this takes a toll. But low achieving men take a greater toll as the whole family is tainted with the stigma of loserhood.
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I see what you’re saying, you have good insight. Are you a man or a woman, by the way? Children will almost always resent a mother who wasn’t there for them in their early years, a father not as much although there can still be some bad feelings.
I often see children of high achieving and elusive fathers striving for his approval and attention, it’s a common family dynamic throughout history.
A very talented woman could always choose not to have children. If she does want to have children, as most women do, it would be best to only have one or maybe two children at the most. I do see that often in society, where successful women have only one child. (Hillary Clinton is a good example). That child would still need a lot of attention from their mother in their early years, but it wouldn’t be a huge chunk of time out of her life devoted exclusively to childrearing. Women’s average lifespan is something like 80 years, that’s a long time.
Obviously I’m not referring to a woman struggling in the face of poverty, that’s a different situation.
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Best post you’ve ever made.
Now the next lesson, padawan, is how not to shit where you eat.
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There’s much truth in this proverb, but I’ve seen more guys get burned from starting to eat where they’ve habitually been shitting, actually, than than vice versa.
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[“alpha seed is even more valuable than egg”
Ahahaa…….so true, just look at sperm banks. I wonder whats the record for the most insemination by an Alpha sperm donor?]
–a woman’s egg fetches in the thousands. A man’s sperm only gets at most a couple of hundred. Eggs are more rare and are of higher value, period. If said woman is a hideous, unintelligent, porker, then, and only then is a (high quality) man’s sperm worth more.
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Hillary Clinton isn’t really a good example, Laura. For one thing, she gave up much of her early career to her husband’s interests; for another, she owes at least some of her achievements to his success. Oh, and finally, you could hardly point to her marriage as a roaring success, could you? Clearly she had to compromise in both her professional and her personal lives.
I don’t think she really had what it takes to become a successful politician on her own, not initially. She lacked Clinton’s oft-noted capacity to mix well with everyone, a very helpful trait for the politically ambitious. She was also too idealistic in the mode of people who have never learned to make [political] compromises. I think, though, that she probably learned from her husband over time, and that’s to her credit. I disagree with her about almost everything, but it’s clear to me that she’s grown mentally tougher and has a better grasp of what the world is really like now than she once did. She still doesn’t come across as very likeable, though. I wonder if that’s the result of intrinsic shyness? Someone I know who was at law school with her and knew her well then says she was *extremely* shy during her youth.
p.s. I’m a woman.
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how the hell did they fdind out this was nyour blog?
bad opsec, hero.
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Oh suck it up. I’m sure you know what this blog meant when you started it.
People will stalk you, expose you, and generally demonize you for what you do.
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“on March 1, 2010 at 7:15 pm Jay
Gents, how do you think this guy handled the situation?”
He could have been a little more aloof and clever. I’m on the fence. She really shouldn’t have called him “honey”, but he responded too glib. He seemed a little too anxious for a fight.
I often enough don’t like judges and cops. Power distorts their sense of reality, but its too be expected somewhat.
I’m a “No, Sir/Yes, Sir.” kind of guy when dealing with authority in general, but I’m all Alpha when it comes to my composure and rhetoric. I try to get the point across that I’m smarter than whoever I’m dealing with, but in a subtle, “Ain’t he clever!” boyish charm kind of way, almost like I just stumbled upon the insight, but just might be capable of stumbling upon insight after insight if they aren’t careful. Say little, deconstruct what they say. Let your logic circle back unto itself, but only if the “chain” of facts is long enough that the circle seems like a straight line. I’m a geek, and use my geekish qualities to disarm people. I’m very good at getting out of trouble. I love to argue. I’ve found that this ability to win in verbal duels drives females crazy (and many college professors), in the bad way, as they are used to dominating verbally by reframing, fudging, and obfuscating. That shit don’t work with me, and sense I have diarreaha of the mouth, I’ll wear them down if it comes to endurance. Don’t think I cheat. Its more like a Ju-Jitsu practictionar beating a heavy weight boxer. You have to beat my system, I ignore yours.
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Epoxytocin says, “There’s much truth in this proverb, but I’ve seen more guys get burned from starting to eat where they’ve habitually been shitting, actually, than than vice versa.”
Either is a mistake.
In this case, it’s hard to tell which mistake was made. I would say the former, but I’m female.
It may be the case though, that part of the problem is that he’s having sex with women he considers morally (and perhaps otherwise) inferior.
When your expectations are low though, it’s hard to raise your standards.
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[…] on the side. And he managed this in spite of (rather than because of) one of these women being completely batshit insane. As such he is worthy of full recognition by those interested in […]
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