I’ve written before about the utmost importance of getting the upper hand with a woman, whether in a relationship or out of it. The partner with hand is the partner who governs the direction of the relationship. Would you rather be the ruler or the ruled? And don’t bother clinging like a baby chimp to comforting but nebulous concepts like “relationship exactness and complementarity” that are dear to the equalist nancyboy brigade. There is no such thing as even hand in relationships. Sexual equilibrium is an unstable state that lures women to push the relationship into chaos. This helps explain why 70-80% of divorces are initiated by the wives.
Let’s say you’ve gamed a girl who is conventionally out of your league straight into bed. Your game established your power over her and your sexual prowess helped buttress her initial positive impression of you. But now, there you are, lying in bed in sweaty post-coital bliss, and you look over at a ravishingly beautiful girl you know has nearly limitless options in the sexual market, and who might even be banging another man and is just using you to tickle a tingle, and you wonder to yourself “What can I do RIGHT NOW to guarantee hand over this woman?”
Well, here’s a little something I learned in grade school.
After sex, most likely she will want to cuddle (DC lawyer chicks and MBA grads excluded). When she is rolling over to you for that expected warm embrace, you gently stop her and move her arms back over to her side of the bed. Then you say:
“Could you sleep on your side of the bed tonight? I don’t have those feelings right now.”
Pause for effect. If her lip quivers, but she makes no sound, you struck gold.
Now, soften the blow.
“Don’t take it personally. I just met you and I usually don’t warm up to someone right away. It takes time. You understand.”
For further softening, you may want to yawn heavily, smile, and add: “Plus, I need space when I sleep.”
The above is guaranteed to give you the upper hand with your amour for at least six months, or your money back. You will now be free to fart loudly in her company and eat hoagies while she blows you without repercussion.
WARNING!
This is the hydrogen bomb of hand maneuvers. Use sparingly, and only use on women who are above your league. If you drop this ego-blasting, pussy-busting, heart-palpitating bomb on a girl who already cherishes you and looks up to you in wide-eyed awe, you risk having her burst into tears. Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.
“Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.”
A post on how to comfort a girl you’ve legitimately hurt, or who has become hurt through a legitimate understanding, would be great. I’ve developed an instinctive feel through practice, not that I’m any master of game. But I would have a hard time putting it into abstract concepts. Please share your insights!
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” Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.”
Damn, Roissy, your new girlfriend has really been softening you up recently. What’s the deal with all this newfound empathy?
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lolz
only beta males worry about such things.
true alpha males pump and dump.
after kobe bryant had sex with that colorado chick who brough him towels, do you think he said, “hmmmmmm now i should put on an act and push her away.”
lolzlozlzzl!
why would you want to spend the night at her house?
her cat will play with your feet and you’ll have to listen to her snore and chances are her roommate is banging some dude too which kill keep you up.
why would you want to see her morning face?
if you ever see a woman’s face in daylight it means you are a beta male. lolzl!
it’s almost as if this blog is stuck in 1994.
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I was thrown off a little by the end too, but the rest of the post was quite good. Just don’t forget that after sex, when you are lying next to each other, don’t say a word until necessary. Let her wonder if she was good enough to do. As Roosh has said in the past, the dumbest things are said right after sex.
barbbabbs has a point about the snoring. I can’t believe not only how many girls snore, but how loud it is. Damn, that’s a turnoff (besides the lack of sleep if you are a light sleeper).
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i don’t get it…
if you just banged her…
what makes her out of your league?
[editor: it’s easier to bang once out of your league than it is to bang continuously out of your league.]
you can leave now & some beta male will think the kid is his.
[if the ass is good, most men prefer to tap it more than once.]
he’ll be staring into your face as your son grows up.
lozlzl!
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hahaha. “hydrogen bomb” of handmaneuvers? it’s the cobalt bomb of hand. no survivors, just twitching, radiation-scorched pre-corpses waiting to expire.
hahaha. i call it “over-game”.
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good points!
whenever i bang girls out of my league i tell them that since they are out of my league i do not deserve to spend time with them and i drive home.
once i drove 5 hours to dc… banged this hot chick who was playing games . . . i knew she would not be letting me get any sleep, wanting to talk and all… so i got up and drove five hours home…
omg she was pissed!
so first night she’s back at achool where i live, i banged her again and drove home–but this time about a mile.
the big question is who cares what league she’s in? who worries about this stuff?
she’s a chick.
you know how hamelt says, “frailty, thy name is women!”
you know how odysseus’s son telemachus laments that when a man dies, a woman is quick to forget about him and get a new man?
why are y’all getting your panties in a bunch over chix?
even c.s. lewis calls women out!
lozlzl! even teh dude who wrote the lion, the withc, and the wardrobe for crissake is more manly than you betas/omegas!
c.s. lewis wrote,
“The Emancipation of Women. (I am not of course saying that this is a bad thing in itself; I am only considering one effect it has had in fact.) One of the determining factors in social life is that in general (there are numerous individual exceptions) men like men better than women like women. Hence, the freer women become, the fewer exclusively male assemblies there are. Most men, if free, retire frequently into the society of their own sex: women, if free, do this less often. In modern social life the sexes are more continuously mixed than they were in earlier periods. This probably has many good results: but it has one bad result. Among young people, obviously, it reduces the amount of serious argument about the ideas. When a young male bird is in the presence of the young female it must (Nature insists) display its plumage. Any mixed society thus becomes the scene of wit, banter, persiflage, anecdote—of everything in the world rather than prolonged and rigorous discussion on ultimate issues, or of those serious masculine friendships in which such discussion arises. Hence, in our student population, a lowering of the metaphysical energy. The only serious questions now discussed are those which seem to have a “practical” importance (i.e. the psychological and sociological problems), for these satisfy the intense practicality and concreteness of the female. That is, no doubt, her glory and her proper contribution to the common wisdom of the race. But the proper glory of the masculine mind, its disinterested concern with truth for truth’s own sake, with the cosmic and the metaphysical, is being impaired. Thus again, as the previous change cuts us off from the past, this cuts us off from the eternal. We are being further isolated; forced down to the immediate and the quotidian. –C.S. Lewis, Present Concerns: Essays by C.S. Lewis, “Modern Man and His Categories of Thought” (1946), para. 5, pp. 62-63
I have every respect for those who wish women to be priestesses. I think they are sincere and pious and sensible people. Indeed, in a way they are too sensible. This is where my dissent from them resembles Bingleys’ dissent from his sister. I am tempted to say that the proposed arrangement would make us much more rational “but not near so much like a Church.” —C.S. Lewis
“
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You say, ““What can I do RIGHT NOW to guarantee hand over this woman?””
And then you described some real assholery.
And your frustrated omega minions will take it to heart and fancy themselves shielded from the caprice of beautiful women.
But they will not guess what you surely know- that the final line is the real spark that gets my gender swooning.
“Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.”
Took me a few seconds to realize I started daydreaming.
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Honestly, I would get dressed, leave, cry myself to sleep, and never talk to him again. It’s too extreme to be effective in my opinion.
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99% of guys wouldn’t have the balls to do this.
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if there is no such thing as even hand, is there at least slow hand?
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Ha ha. Rip their souls in half. As Esther Vilar wrote in the ‘The Manipulated Man’, a woman will rip a man’s intestines out then go shopping for new shoes.
To wit:
An alpha male is a beta male who has been kicked in the balls by females one too many times.
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then maybe you’re not that hot…
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@ FemX
What Roissy is describing isn’t the assholery that you make it out to be. What you don’t know is that no man really likes to cuddle after sex, that’s something best left for snowy nights in front of the fireplace or some other sentimental bullshit like that. No, we like to lie back in silence, stare at the celing and relax, get a glass of water, or maybe even get up and make a sandwich or something. Not imediately wanting to make form some sort of post coital mind meld with you isn’t assholery, it’s just being a man.
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After that first line I would have said “is it because you didn’t perform very well?”
It is the reverse hand.
[editor: and then i razzle dazzle with the reverse-reverse hand: “coulda fooled me.”]
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“When she is rolling over to you for that expected warm embrace, you gently stop her and move her arms back over to her side of the bed.”
A more advance move is to throw back on the Custom Suit, spark up a cigarette, and roll back out into the beautiful evil of the night to swoop more girls.
Make sure you grab a bottle vodka on the way out of her crib.
Even more advanced:
Whip up a quick sandwich to go.
– MPM
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bbarbbabbs,
I don’t get you. You’ve said some of the dumbest things on here recently and then you supply us with two profound quotes. I know you don’t care about my opinion because I am a woman, but thank you anyway, the C.S. Lewis quotes really have me thinking.
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I don’t usually let them spend the night.
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Honestly, I would get dressed, leave, cry myself to sleep, and never talk to him again.
No you wouldn’t. Get a grip.
All he did was not reciprocate the cuddling. He is still nice, friendly and warm. Any girl in that situation might start wondering and nagging. But putting a man on the shit list just because he didn’t play boyfriend after sex is too ridiculous to be done by any woman with a minimal amount self esteem.
Pro Tip: If one doesn’t role to the side, but remain lying on the belly with your face turned to hers it will come across less awkward and harsh.
As long as you keep giving her some attention, she will start caressing your naked back or even try to lie on top of you. It will make her fell less invalidated while keeping her itch for the full relationship cuddle.
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Well I might be an exception but I don’t mind cuddling after sex with some girls, if it’s a sweet girl so in love with me that she melts every time I hold her I love it. With the caveat, though, that the longer the relationship, the less I’m inclined to do it.
I’ve already done twice what Roissy describes here but not with the purpose of gaining influence on the girl. However, now that I think back about it, I must admit that it certainly has had a positive effect on the relationship, at least for me.
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Roissy – no fooling necessary……I am easy to please.
C.S. Lewis doesn’t see the possible error in his thinking.
He states that men like men more than women like women but that may have been a consequence of the oppression of women. I would think intelligent and eloquent women would change men’s attitude to spending more time in exclusive male settings.
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For those that think this is a bit harsh, or cruel, keep in mind the point.
It’s to be able to keep the woman interested and intrigued so she’ll want to break off more pieces of that Kit-Kat bar. I am not sure why people who say they have been reading here a while do not get that premise.
Again, the woman in the scenario is hot enough to have plenty of options. Being an adoring, cuddly teddy bear will get you, maybe, a night of hugs, most likely followed by a kick to the curb afterward. If hugs is all you want from her from now, then snuggle up there, Pooh-bear!
Also, to the cruel point…woman pull shit like this:
Friend of mine goes out with a woman he met at my party who I remember might have been a 7 or 8 (long time ago), but in any event, she was pretty fine and a 3 points ahead of him on the attraction scale.
After a date, they go back to her place, and after fooling around, he goes down on her, bringing her off.
She proceeds to pull out a cigarette and smoke with no apparent interest in giving him any sort of reciprication. In fact, it seemed to him at the time that she was giving the dimissal with her attitude. It was a humiliating experience for him.
Granted, he know doubt helped bring that outcome with Beta moves, but again, that’s the point. Avoiding the Beta moves that sends you on your way with blue balls and only some chick’s excretions on your face to show for it.
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“That woman was sexy…Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”
Justin’s Dad.
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is barbbabbs for real? What a chucklefuck.
Utter puke post too!
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Roissy,
Will this tactic work in a struggling LTR (marriage) where she has stopped providing any sex, but still wants to cuddle a lot in bed and on the couch?
[editor: yes! do it.]
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Any girl who’s a sweaty mess catching her breath on the other side of the bed is in my ‘league’.
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This seems like it would backfire way too often. I think trying to convey the same message non-verbally without outright telling her might soften the blow a little bit and still give you an upper-hand without the potential to send her into a sobbing mess.
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Awww, you’re talking about your “feelings” after sex. That’s so cute.
Try this instead.
After sex, roll over and ignore her.
A few minutes later, roll back over, look at her, and yell “What the fuck are you still doing here??!!!”
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“Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.”
Thanks to the unveiling of ugly truths, it’s actually gotten quite easy
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now that is a red flag.
you might, but you’d likely be wrong. there are plenty of men who enjoy the company of women, even in traditionally male pursuits like watching sports or scratching genitals. men, however, generally have no desire to invade traditional female sanctuaries. that’s an important distinction. there are plenty of girlfriends who whine about not being brought along to the game, but not many men who are really dying to go to girls’ brunch with their girlfriends.
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lolzlzl!
someone called me a chucklefuck!
either a fatty fatty or an omega male 4 sure.
lozlzll!!
teh same betas and feminist fatties who deconstructed the great books and classics & shopenhauer:
http://www.theabsolute.net/misogyny/onwomen.html
“It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual instinct that could give that stunted, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race the name of the fair sex; for the entire beauty of the sex is based on this instinct. One would be more justified in calling them the unaesthetic sex than the beautiful. Neither for music, nor for poetry, nor for fine art have they any real or true sense and susceptibility, and it is mere mockery on their part, in their desire to please, if they affect any such thing.
This makes them incapable of taking a purely objective interest in anything, and the reason for it is, I fancy, as follows. A man strives to get direct mastery over things either by understanding them or by compulsion. But a woman is always and everywhere driven to indirect mastery, namely through a man; all her direct mastery being limited to him alone. Therefore it lies in woman’s nature to look upon everything only as a means for winning man, and her interest in anything else is always a simulated one, a mere roundabout way to gain her ends, consisting of coquetry and pretence. Hence Rousseau said, Les femmes, en général, n’aiment aucun art, ne se connoissent à aucun et n’ont aucun génie (Lettre à d’Alembert, note xx.). Every one who can see through a sham must have found this to be the case. One need only watch the way they behave at a concert, the opera, or the play; the childish simplicity, for instance, with which they keep on chattering during the finest passages in the greatest masterpieces. If it is true that the Greeks forbade women to go to the play, they acted in a right way; for they would at any rate be able to hear something. In our day it would be more appropriate to substitute taceat mulier in theatro for taceat mulier in ecclesia; and this might perhaps be put up in big letters on the curtain.
Nothing different can be expected of women if it is borne in mind that the most eminent of the whole sex have never accomplished anything in the fine arts that is really great, genuine, and original, or given to the world any kind of work of permanent value. This is most striking in regard to painting, the technique of which is as much within their reach as within ours; this is why they pursue it so industriously. Still, they have not a single great painting to show, for the simple reason that they lack that objectivity of mind which is precisely what is so directly necessary in painting. ”
http://www.theabsolute.net/misogyny/onwomen.html
hate on all you h8ers!!
hate the greats!
& love your cats & twinkies & rocky road ice cream & E!
lozlzl!
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“I would think intelligent and eloquent women would change men’s attitude to spending more time in exclusive male settings.”
What a fantasy, in a couple levels
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I agree this is a good move only on 8.5’s and up. 8 or lower, I wouldn’t do this.
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barbabbs, you write like a moron in grade school. “lollzolz”
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And seeing Santa Claus would make me believe in Christmas again. Your point?
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@BetaMan @ 1:03 above,
Do you prefer your wife to “provide sex” out of obligation, or crave sex because you are fabulous?
Some other suggestions:
-protect your family from financial predators .
-stop treating her like your mother , and stop calling her “mom”
-if you’ve a newborn in the home, manage for her to get uninterrupted sleep once weekly
-fend off time expectations from extended family to prioritize time with your immediate family. Act like your family is the most important unit in your world.
-stop being a doormat to your partners, peers, and everyone else but your family
-stop treating her like a child
-ask her opinion on topics she aught to stretch herself with
-if you are a workaholic, you are getting boring and losing social skills. Try functioning in the real world.
-treat her like a sex object
-Plan adventure vacations.
-Decrap your junk piles. She craves a clean nest for her family.
-Lose the gut.
-Exercise with her. She’ll feel sexy.
-be interesting, intelligent, and turn your brain on.
-provide a solid moral compass for your family to live by.
-stop talking too much. Have a sexy voice.
anyway, the logic fails. How can you refuse post-sex cuddling , if you don’t have sex first? Your are fortunate she still wants to cuddle. Eventually she’ll be repulsed by that too.
[editor: fuck that noize. my way is a lot simpler, and more effective to boot.]
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You’re a genius, Roissy.
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JR
Re-read what I said. I did not say or imply that men “desire to invade traditional female sanctuaries.” I said that as women become more intellectually stimulating, men have less issues with having them invade all male settings.
Please expound on how being easier to please in bed than most women is a “red flag”.
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I was doing the non-cuddle thing even in my beta days. Especially when I was making rookie mistakes like spending the night at her place. I’ve always had trouble sleeping well when someone else is in the bed cuz I move around a lot. I’ve been known to go to another room or sleep on the floor just to get some decent shut eye. Yeah, I look back and see I got some Asshole cred for it without even trying, but as Roissy points out, it can be overkill.
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[editor: f*** that noize. my way is a lot simpler, and more effective to boot.]
again, the logic fails, how can beta-husband withhold post-sex cuddling if she can’t stand sex with him. ???
[editor: when she goes for the non-sex cuddle, he pulls her arms away and says “you know, i’m not in the mood for this. i don’t have those feelings right now.” presto bingo he’s taught her a valuable lesson about giving him what he needs AND prepped her pussy for future lubing.]
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Barbbabbs,
Are you drunk? I don’t follow half of what you’re saying and I don’t think anyone else here does, either.
After driving 5 hours to screw a chick who was out of your league, you drove home afterwards just because she talked too much? How about being a man — tell her to be quiet.
As for “who cares what league she’s in” — sober up and then reconsider whether that’s really the rhetorical question you think it is.
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peter and lusvic – “mixing of sexes does not compute…creates to much complexity…brain is melting”
i know plenty of men who enjoy hanging with sharp minded women in nearly all settings.
maybe you should get out and meet different women; or are you afraid of intellectually superior women.
Peter – My point was C.S. Lewis may have overlooked the fact the cultural stereotypes were behind his observations of men and women.
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[editor: when she goes for the non-sex cuddle, he pulls her arms away and says “you know, i’m not in the mood for this. i don’t have those feelings right now.” presto bingo he’s taught her a valuable lesson about giving him what he needs AND prepped her pussy for future lubing.]
She will get cuddles, kisses, hugs from the kids.
[editor: well then, let this be a lesson to men to avoid marriage and kids. or to get a mistress.]
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So Standard Beta Provider Game FTW? I don’t think so, anony. I’ve just dumped a chick in a failed 8 year relationship where I more or less tried all of the above. Maybe in the olden days, the things you suggest would be valued. Now women are praised for their fickleness and promiscuity and no longer value the grounding stability and monogamy that a beta provider gives.
The modern woman, right here:
http://www.amazon.ca/Cleaving-Story-Marriage-Meat-Obsession/dp/0316003360
Julia Powell (of Julie and Julia fame), who “tries to end an adulterous affair by immersing herself in an apprenticeship at a butcher shop–and embarks on a world tour of meat. ” according to one review.
Also,
Have a sexy voice? Women like deep “sexy” voices in men, but they’re turned off when men try to fake it.
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“She will get cuddles, kisses, hugs from the kids.”
I’ve never met a single woman who found the same things in the cuddles, kisses and hugs she gets from her kids and those she gets from her husband/lover. Clearly single mums would be the happiest beings on earth if that was the case, and I don’t see it being so.
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Was this a cut and paste from Cosmo?:
-protect your family from financial predators .
-stop treating her like your mother , and stop calling her “mom”
-if you’ve a newborn in the home, manage for her to get uninterrupted sleep once weekly
-fend off time expectations from extended family to prioritize time with your immediate family. Act like your family is the most important unit in your world.
-stop being a doormat to your partners, peers, and everyone else but your family
-stop treating her like a child
-ask her opinion on topics she aught to stretch herself with
-if you are a workaholic, you are getting boring and losing social skills. Try functioning in the real world.
-treat her like a sex object
-Plan adventure vacations.
-Decrap your junk piles. She craves a clean nest for her family.
-Lose the gut.
-Exercise with her. She’ll feel sexy.
-be interesting, intelligent, and turn your brain on.
-provide a solid moral compass for your family to live by.
-stop talking too much. Have a sexy voice.
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@Peter,
sorry it didnt’ work out.
Faking a sexy voice is not the same as being conscious of your tone, pitch, pace and content. I can not begin to regard a man seriously until I hear his voice. At the very least, a man can control his pace .
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I’ve never met a single woman who found the same things in the cuddles, kisses and hugs she gets from her kids and those she gets from her husband/lover.
not the same, but certainly a temporizing substitute.
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David Rockefeller writes,
“Barbbabbs,
Are you drunk? I don’t follow half of what you’re saying and I don’t think anyone else here does, either.
After driving 5 hours to screw a chick who was out of your league, you drove home afterwards just because she talked too much? How about being a man — tell her to be quiet.
As for “who cares what league she’s in” — sober up and then reconsider whether that’s really the rhetorical question you think it is.”
Dude–if you tell a chick to be quiet she can call teh police and you’ll be in prison for 2-3 months.
Pump & dump dude!
anything you say can and will be held against u!
and btw r u drunk? lozllzlzlzl!! ad hominem rt bk @ u!! hahahhah
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Lena,
An intelligent woman will know when to leave a man alone.
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“maybe you should get out and meet different women; or are you afraid of intellectually superior women.”
This empty argument gets made ad nauseum.
I’m Charlie Brown whiffing the football for even responding.
Men aren’t *afraid* of much, and “smart”, “successful”, “rich”, “independent”, “blah blah blah” women certainly don’t make the list of what we fear.
Women who view themselves as incredibly smart and compelling conversationalists typically trot out a bunch of nonsense they “learned” in college is debunked by anyone with the hard skill of observation and living in reality.
And they can’t shut up.
“My point was C.S. Lewis may have overlooked the fact the cultural stereotypes were behind his observations of men and women.”
Right, b/c you’re smarter than C.S. Lewis. Boy, that guy had his head up his ass.
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And my point is that those cultural stereotypes exist for a reason. Intellectually stimulating women are rare. And even if they are intellectually stimulating, they’re still dangerous.
An attractive woman breaks up the harmony and equilibrium that exists in an all-male group. The men start competing over her, making cheap jokes instead of thoughtful points, just like Lewis said. You think people have changed?
A chick joining an group of all-male friends is a disaster. Step 1: she picks the alpha and starts banging him. If the relationship is stable and no other guys rise in status, then things can work for a while. And by “work”, I mean the alpha is hamstrung by having to watch what he says around her. The harmony of the group is disrupted. No other man in the group can poke fun of her or challenge her views like he would a man, because that endangers the status of the alpha. Tensions rise.
It’s even worse when one of the other guys rises in status, and the chick starts coming onto the new alpha. Then, unless you have a group of men with a truly strong sense of honour, a friendship is broken up, and the whole group falls apart.
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Barbabb’s auto-gravatar is oddly appropriate. It looks like exploding poop, though with a whimsical touch.
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i did not offer that statemend as an exigesis of your point, rather i am pointing out the part of Lewis’ argument that you have overlooked. yes, there are men who enjoy the company of women, even women they are not trying to fuck. that is beside the point.
the point is that most men also desire to spend a good amount of time with other men doing, for lack of a better word, manly things. this, in part, stems from the nature of male friendship. today, men’s ability to do that has become greatly circumscribed by a number of factors, ranging from outright bans on all-male assemblies to nagging from wives and girlfriends. when was the last time you heard a guy giving a girl shit about her wanting to take off for the night and hang out with her friends?
when a man gets in a relationship and stops hanging out with his friends and brings his girlfriend everywhere, we call it being whipped. you will notice that there is no commensurate term to describe women doing the same thing.
it’s not that you are (who knows if that’s true). it’s that you said it.
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PA writes, “Barbabb’s auto-gravatar is oddly appropriate. It looks like exploding poop, though with a whimsical touch.”
never have i seen so many omega males and feminist fatties assembled in one place who are incapable of anything other than ad hominem attacks.
why not try hamlet?
HAMLET
If thou dost marry, I’ll give thee this plague for
thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as
snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a
nunnery, go: farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs
marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough
what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go,
and quickly too. Farewell.
OPHELIA
O heavenly powers, restore him!
HAMLET
I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God
has given you one face, and you make yourselves
another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and
nick-name God’s creatures, and make your wantonness
your ignorance. Go to, I’ll no more on’t; it hath
made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages:
those that are married already, all but one, shall
live; the rest shall keep as they are. To a
nunnery, go.
Exit
h8 on all you feminsit 8ers and omega PUA males lozllzlzzl!
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@anony & @roissy
The REAL solution is to simply leave for a few weeks to “reset” a marriage destroyed by the lethal combo of a beta male and a strongly independent female that has consistently chipped away at him over the life of the relationship.
While leaving is feasible for a simple LTR, it is much more difficult in a legal marriage where there are factors outside of the relationship dynamic such as pregnancy, young kids, “abandonment” divorce laws if you just leave, adultery laws, etc, etc.
Sometimes things aren’t cut and dry. You know many other married betas face the exact same situation. Marriage was obviously a poor choice, but this blog wasn’t around 10 years ago for liberal brainwashed men who grew up without “real” male influences in their lives.
The tactic in the OP is a *solid* start. If it was completely unsalvageable she wouldn’t even still want to cuddle.
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“Let’s say you’ve gamed a girl who is conventionally out of your league straight into bed. Your game established your power over her and your sexual prowess helped buttress her initial positive impression of you. But now, there you are, lying in bed in sweaty post-coital bliss, and you look over at a ravishingly beautiful girl you know has nearly limitless options in the sexual market, and who might even be banging another man and is just using you to tickle a tingle, and you wonder to yourself “What can I do RIGHT NOW to guarantee hand over this woman?” ”
What about catching your breath and taking her again from behind? And just keep taking her until she tells you she needs to sleep. So you let her sleep a half hour then wake her up again.
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Jizz in her eye, she won’t feel like cuddling after that. + she’ll like it on a primal level while douching the oculars.
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Barbbabbs,
Just how does telling her to shut up risk a stint in the pokey?
That never entered my mind as a possibility.
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why are yu guys talking about “marraiges getting destroyed”
marriage is soooooooooo 2002!!
just think when she sends your kids off to school–those same lips have been wrapped aorund half a dozen cocks, as encouraged by the neocons.
for cruissake why would you have kids with a women who has wrapped her lips around a half dozen cocks?
think of all teh germs and the destruction of her soul as she swallowed his manliness and left her for you–teh beta–to marry and carry.
charlotte allen will write a neocon piece about the last guy she blew: “He was 6 feet tall and a successful film maker like tucker max, and thus your wife had every right to blow him.” lozlzl!
lozlzlz!
looooosers!
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I don’t mind intelligent women, as long as they are attractive, shut the fuck up when I’m around, and enjoy the pile driver when I’m hammered on whiskey (not the WWE pile-driver_)
MEN ARE NOT AFRAID OF SMART GIRLS. Smart girls often just end up acting like men and therefore who wants to listen to that shit all day.
Make dinner and give me a backrub. Fuck your degree.
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and when i say her mouth was wrapped around a half dozen cocks i am trying to be gentle as it’s closer to 57 cocks by the time she hits thirty and you propose.
but i know how you betas are sensitive souls.
lolzllzlz!
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@anony
I am a married man and I certainly would not cuddle without sex. I would game her. I just don’t need to do that. That sounds like someone tripped the keep the beta provider algorithm while leaving her alpha channels open. Women are denying sex for a reason. Its natures way of preventing the beta providers from knocking her up and giving opportunity for alpha seed. Screw that…
If you need a mistress because you cannot get sex from your wife, you may have a hard time getting a decent mistress.
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Time for someone to euthanize Barbbabbs — to put us all out of our misery.
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lozlzlzl!
David Rockefeller writes: “Time for someone to euthanize Barbbabbs — to put us all out of our misery.”
when they realize that all thier shiny shirts and harvard mbas, backed by a fiat currency, are worth nothing, they always resort to the police state, assassination, and eugenics.
lzolzl!
neocons rule!
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barb,
did a neocon touch you in your bad place?
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note how i quote from shopenhuaer, c.s. lewis, virgil, and hamlet, and as they represent true value, rockefeller wants me dead.
& did you know that david rockefeller engineered teh feminist movement?
http://www.savethemales.ca/130302.html
Feminism, New World Order and Rockefeller’s New War
http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/january2007/290107rockefellergoal.htm
“Rockefeller also told Russo that his family’s foundation had created and bankrolled the women’s liberation movement in order to destroy the family and that population reduction was a fundamental aim of the global elite.
Russo is perhaps best known for producing Trading Places starring Eddie Murphy but was more recently in the spotlight for his exposé of the criminal run for profit federal reserve system, the documentary America From Freedom to Fascism.”
–http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/january2007/290107rockefellergoal.htm
lozlzl! tehy killed teh fmaily dead!
lzozllz!
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J R writes:
“barb,
did a neocon touch you in your bad place?”
lozlzl! more beta-male fail ad hominem tactics!
i bet you have a fiat degree from yale law!
lozzlol.
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settle down, Beavis.
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lozlzl!
Peter writes, “settle down, Beavis.”
i have been here less than 24 hours and have experienced countless ad hominem attacks, censorship, and death threats.
if i started a blog….
would you read it?
lzolzzl!
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roissy, can you compare this or comment re: schizo game – from fight club – when jack kept looking at whatsername in the morning and indignantly asked what she was doing in his house the next morning?
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I’m with G: go home. Take a sandwich. Spooning can be nice, but too much of it, too early and you’re huggy bear.
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barbbabbs is an autotroll.
It thrives on attention.
Do not engage it.
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Lena: “maybe you should get out and meet different women; or are you afraid of intellectually superior women.”
When I was young and dumb, I assumed I needed to date an “intellectual equal” (a concept I now realize is fundamentally flawed). An old louche who had seen and done more than I ever will disabused me of this notion; he pointed out that for smart conversation, rely on your male friends. Pick a woman for her finer qualities, not her credentials. He was right. Still end up with the smart ones (really smart, not “Ph.D. in psychology” or “I went to law school” smart) because of the circles I move in, but for all practical purposes, IQ is irrelevant. Femininity and common sense are way more important, and they’re often anti-correlated with book learnin’.
I have a Ph.D. in physics, I write, and I prop trade for a living; as a result, I date the top 0.05% of female minds. Even very smart women; ones who also have Ph.D.’s in physics and math, they tend to lack the faculty for penetrating conversation. If I want to talk philosophy, I talk to a dude. C.S. Lewis was perfectly correct.
On the other hand, if you’re packing a big heater on the end of your neck, it is fun giving women intellectual validation. They’re all insecure about their brains, especially when they’re really hot.
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@Chi-town
“That sounds like someone tripped the keep the beta provider algorithm while leaving her alpha channels open.”
Your diagnosis is spot on. Any suggestions on how to reprogram?
Besides the nuclear option of going through with a divorce, learning game, becoming alpha, sleeping with women hotter than her, and then accepting her cougar-ass crawling back with a new healthier relationship dynamic in place?
(note: the only motivation to stay with her at all is the young children involved.)
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@ barbbabbsbsbs
Any male that uses the acronym “lolz” or uses as many exclamation points as you do is a beta male.
When I read your postings I cant help but envision an actual clown, speaking in a neutered, high pitch voice to a group of children. It’s hard to take you seriously.
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pure evil, roissy! (but you’re right)
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Woman:
“A real man does not weep or laugh very loud (reserved smiles have a sympathetic
effect on those around him and make him seem a serious person to his business
associates); he never shows surprise (he never screams Ahhh…!’ when a light goes
on nor `Ohhh…!’ when he touches cold water); he never shows that he is making an
effort (by saying `Uff…!’ when he has lifted a heavy case); he does not even sing
when he is happy. Therefore, if a man notices all these emotional reactions in a
woman, it never occurs to him that he has been conditioned by a woman not to
express his own similar feelings. As a result, he assumes she is much more sensitive
than he is, for otherwise she would not dare to exhibit her feelings in such an
uncontrolled manner. A man who would cry only if a real catastrophe occurred
(perhaps the death of his wife) must assume that when his wife breaks into floods of
tears because of cancelled holiday plans, for example, her emotions are equally
strong, but for a lesser cause. He even thinks himself loutish and callous because he
cannot share her grief. What an advantage a man would have if only he realized the
cold, clear thoughts running through a woman’s head while her eyes are brimming
with tears.
”
Beta:
“Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.”
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Big dave anyone who calls themselves big dave is an alpha male. Lololz!
When you picture that clown that u are talking about above, what else are you doing?
Lolz!
C’mon roissy is this the best there is here? At least charlotte was half a man.
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Nice shit roissy.
I have a LTR atm and the thing that helped me from falling into beta traps was to get a second LTR. They do not know about each other. My behaviour is perfect, I do the right alpha things at the right times, I have sex all the time and don’t have to put up with any shit. Life is good, thanks for the blog.
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@Lupo
What is your subfield? If you don’t mind revealing your specialty here.
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BetaMan,
They’re right. Stop being so nice. Push her away when she tries to cuddle with you. It really is that simple.
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I can somewhat see the logic in this advice but honestly I have no need for it.
After I fuck my ladies brains out, I usually lie on my back to rest, cool down and stare at the ceiling fan. 99% of time she will instinctively squirm her way to me and lay her head in the shoulder/chest nook area (the classic post coital embrace).
I’m fine with this.. doesnt bother me at all and I allow it without reacting. I let her listen to my elevated heart beat, and I may unconsciously stroke her hair or lower back as my mind wonders..or if she is beautiful I may admire her body and grin with satisfaction at what I just did to her. In these moments I can almost feel them developing feelings for me. If she is a soft, sexy feminine girl who I want to continue relations with, yea I’ll let her sleep over and cuddle her a little bit. They fucking that. The whole feeling safe in your arms thing.
I suppose this advice is only for dudes who got lucky and have just fucked someone significantly out of their league.
I would only do the move suggested in this post if I just fucked someone well below my league and wanted to be clear that this isnt going any where.
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@anony
Do you prefer your wife to “provide sex” out of obligation, or crave sex because you are fabulous?
And if he were starving and wanted a cracker, you could say: “But wouldn’t you rather have steak?”
But perhaps more to the point, she wouldn’t want him to cuddle if he wasn’t in the mood, would she? If he’s not 100% into it, he shouldn’t risk offending her by doing so.
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@BetaMan
The way to reverse the damage is what you will see in this forum. I would certainly spiff up just on principle if even to just convince yourself. Raw material helps. Implement aloofness, competition anxiety, cockiness and if it looks good to try just take the sex if you can. Act like you own the place where ever that place is.
I can give my wife affection and attention because I get everything I want, back rubs, sex dinner etc. Its not safe with you. In operant conditioning jargon, its time to implement punishment for bad behavior, not reward.
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An Italian once said to me Europeans want to know who owns the land. He said the British think they own the land. He then said Americans don’t give a crap who owns the land. That made me proud to be an American.
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Wow. I’m confused. Good one in general, but I just can’t see myself saying something along the lines of “I don’t have those feelings right now.”… Neither it would pass the jumbotron test with my buddies or even girl buddies. Is it some kind of american thing that I’m missing?
I don’t mind cuddling and overall I actually always thought I err on the side of too nice, but interestingly I very rarely if ever would go into “feelings” after sex. Usually go with some joking shtick along the lines of gentle slap on the butt and roissy’s “now go get washed up” or “not bad, ” or just “I need a smoke/beer”… Which makes me wonder, does it actually come off nice-guyish if I obviously joke around? Or am I actually too alpha with girls and just lost track of it with my genuinely diminished by married years SMV? Do I actually need to comfort it up with some serious feelings talk to close more often?
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@Vincent: J. Phys. B.
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Hmm, I think I get it now, scratch the previous comment… The idea is to genuinely act aloof and distant, not act like a man who likes her, even if not like a beta puppy in love That’s why a joke won’t cut it. Yes, makes sense. Feelings line put me on the wrong track.
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@Chi-Town
Thanks for the tip. I was in your shoes once (things were great), but I missed the warning signs over a year ago despite the fact they should have been blatantly obvious. I stumbled on this blog and if only I knew then what I know now….
Anyways, I’ve been implementing many of the things from this blog and it has been helping some, but the damage done is very severe and quite possibly irreversible. Congruence is difficult with someone who knows you inside out upside down and backwards. In a 10+ year relationship it is past the point of game for general maintenance – I need more SHOCK tactics to utilize similar to this original post.
In addition to rejecting routine cuddling/kissing I am considering blatant flirting with other women in her presence (something I’ve never done before stupidly out of “respect” for my wife) and randomly disappearing without telling her.
I don’t plan on infidelity which I ultimately feel would create a poisonous and complicated divorce, but I do want her to suspect infidelity simply to jump-start her attraction.
Thoughts? Roissy??
[editor: if you decide to do what is recommended in this post, get back to us. i’d be curious of your results.]
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Omg I find it so hard 2 believe that so many of u think u need 2 get married to have hot fresh pussylolz! From what I’ve heard marriage reduces chances of pussy and gives the federal government the right to search your home and seize ur property as women are now working for the neocon federal reserve system, whixh is y they initiate over 3/4 of the divorces. Lolz!!!
Alll u marries guys r loooooooozers! Do u know how many guys have had one nite stands with her when she was hotter/youger/tigher just setting out in her feminist studies funded by fiat dollar? And now you have 2 pay 4 what they got 4 free when it wqas fresh!!
Lolz!
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Brilliant – If only I had read this 5 years ago… This scenario has been the story of my life…
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BetaMan:
You should check out Athol Kay’s blog, Married Man Sex Life.
Also, when applying these tactics don’t be too obvious or heavy handed or it will backfire.
I wish you luck.
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@Thursday:
Thanks I have actually checked it out already – solid blog.
“Also, when applying these tactics don’t be too obvious or heavy handed or it will backfire.”
That’s the true challenge, maintaining an aloof frame when she knows me better than I know myself. I am resentful and fired up about the situation which is difficult to hide.
Never get married!
@Roissy:
I will keep you posted
[editor: here are a couple more pointers. as you noted, when a woman knows you very well, and is intimately acquainted with your betaness, drastic measures need to be taken to right the sinking ship. but you can’t turn on a dime. ease into the changes, otherwise she’ll lash out even worse than before. i would start with unexplained absences. and whatever you do, don’t make any excuses for your alpha behavior. don’t apologize for staying late at work, or mysteriously flying out for the weekend for a “convention”. once you start defending your actions in the face of her accusatory tones, you have lost the frame, and the battle. so, disappearances are good. so is flirting with other women in front of her using what you have learned from game. always walk around the house with a tumbler of whiskey in your hand. smoke cigars in her face. never take a word she says seriously. tease her constantly, like she’s an annoying squatter in your house that the government is forcing you to take care of. good luck!]
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BetaMan,
Are you in decent physical shape? Is your wife attractive?
If yes to both, other women should be hitting on you whenever you are out together.
If you are out of shape, that could be a big part of the problem. Get a gym membership, relearn dominant f*ck1ng, and apply game simultaneously.
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this babar character is oddly reminiscent of the combining of lurker and fire power… both of whom are conspicuously absent in the current blog
hmm
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roissy that was fantastic. in a way this move has the highest impact (either way) due to the oxytocin spike during that period.
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@roissy:
thanks you are hilarious – the only good thing is that i have nothing to lose at this point which gives me bigger balls to try some of these things.
@bobby: yes and yes. the problem is that i have stupidly never engaged the other women out of “respect” for my wife (thinking that was a good thing). now that she has lost “respect” for me and i now understand female attraction better it’s obviously time to make some drastic changes.
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Roissy dude!
R u nuts!!??
Advising a brother 2 flirt with other women in front of his wife?
Blowing her off for a weekend?
WTF!!?
Hell hath no fury like a women scorned and with the entire federal resrve system backing women, she can destroy her husband.
He will have to pay 4 the top dollar lawyers she hires and tells about his flirting and disappearances.
Dude.
Roissy is like a debutante in 1986.
If you foolow his advice u will end up like conservatism in the weekly standard–with no balls, and like the honest working man fightingn2eocon wars on foreignshores. Dead while tucker max is fing ur wife and charlotte allen is writing about it.
But go ahead its ur life.
Lolozlzl!
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@betaman–
Have you read this Roissy post, excerpting some of the best Dave from Hawaii’s extensive comments from time to time on Roissy’s blog:
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/relationship-game-week-a-readers-journey/
Well you should. As well as read through the over 700 comments. Well skim for the useful ones. Yeah it will take awhile but your marriage and certainly it’s quality is at stake.
Then read the rest of Roissy’s Relationship Game Week series – that one is the final one under that heading.
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I am well aware of the laws and the unfortunate power she has over me in this regard which obviously makes using these types of tactics more risky.
But if done correctly I think many of these things can work. It’s just going to take some skill and ability to really thread the needle with revving up the attraction without completely pushing her over the edge.
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@betaman–
Never tell your wife (or any woman, early or late in the relationship) that you need her. I’m sure you have told her that but don’t anymore and have the frame that that is just something you told her. Yes you can say you enjoy her (when you are at that moment), and should. But that’s not what you need to do much now, especially since you probably rarely are now. Better to show it when you do. Saying you enjoy her builds comfort but she’s plenty sure you need her right now I’m sure and is feeling “suffocated” by that need. Withdraw the need, without saying so unasked, including in your own head.
Playful dominance, at least light dominance, is what should be your frame. Not ordering, leading and assuming she’ll follow.
The only parts of game as Roissy preaches it that don’t apply to your marital LTR are initial approach and comfort building. Well comfort building may need to come in again if you play enough remote and (semi) asshole game, but only after she’s chasing you. Then only a little. Small doses initially, pulling back each time.
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As a married woman, I just want to say the advice Roissy, Chi-Town and others gave you is excellent. (Chi-town, it sounded like you were talking about training a dog, but it was good)
You guys are going to put the professional marriage counselors out of business.
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@Doug1
Thanks I’ve read all that stuff. And a lot of it is great for repairing problematic relationships. The only thing it doesn’t address is when you’ve horrendously failed even the worst of her shit tests (even the more serious ones after the initial warning signs) and also failed with her “attempts” to save the marriage.
Once the woman has crossed that line and already said she wants a divorce it’s a completely different ballgame.
I’m going down swinging though. If this abortion of a marriage somehow gets fixed I will be shocked! Regardless of the final outcome I have learned tons and will be a happier husband or divorced bachelor for it. I doubt too many betas out there can say that!
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Betaman I love u bro!
Try waht roissy tells u 2 do and one nite u will return on home 2 find ben bernanke himslef advising her on how to rape ur assets.
4 u see all the fed can do is create debt and to convert it into wealth and physical property they train ur wife to work for their divorce regime police state and claim your assets of whcih bernank et al get a cut.
Google federal reserve feminism bro!
And u will go “omg lolz bernanke spank me!”
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[editor: if you decide to do what is recommended in this post, get back to us. i’d be curious of your results.]
That’s funny. I’m imagining an online registry of Roissy accoloites. “”Longitudinal results show that married men utilitzing “fake infidelity game” show a 40% increase in 5 year divorce rates compared to married cohorts utilizing “Maintain trust and respect” game.
[editor: unfortunately for your sense of humor, a man who follows your advice will wind up a beta cheated on by a sexy wife or disrespected by an overeating wife, while a man who follows my advice becomes an alpha whose wife stays thin, sexy, and feminine and always ready to service him.]
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Hey betaman
I’m where you’re at in an 8 year marriage with 2 kids. Things have slid too far to simply apply Athol Kay’s lessons, or Dave from Hawaii’s.
We’re in serious sexless terrain and it’s killing me. I can understand that she’s lost attraction but to turn things around now seems too little too late.
At this stage, I’m taking steps to get my shit together and be attractive, not merely to cultivate her attraction, but for my own sake. My newfound aloofness is puzzling and disturbing to her I can tell. The relationship is seriously hanging on a cliff.
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I learned some worthwhile things in grade school but how not to cuddle after sex was not among them.
Dam!
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Hey charlotte I know u r reading my every word so hello!
Will you please man up and correct ur tucker max mistakes in the next issue of the weeklystandard? Thanks!
You made a big f’in deal about my grammar while you hate on truth and beauty and true heroes.
Einstein stated that he never worried about the refinement and exact math but that the ideas are what are important. Because u suck @ ideas u have to h8 on my grammar. Lkolz! Neocons r so funny! Its ok 4 thousands 2 die on forewign shoresa but watch ur run onsentences lolz!
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“Fake infidelity game” had me coming home late without her knowing where I’d been. I saw the bedroom light switch off when I came in the door so I knew she was still awake, then when I entered the bedroom I got an earful for ‘waking her up’ and demanding to know where I’d been.
I took that as a positive sign.
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Ok, now that we know how to get hand how about some tips on getting head?
😀
[editor: hand leads to head.]
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wow … masterful
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Watch it, buddy.
If she thinks you’re fucking around there’s a damn good chance she’ll jump the nearest guy she can get her hands on. Alpha cuts both ways.
Don’t think Elin Nordegren and those types aren’t getting some on the side. When I was a mere stripling, I was the unwitting revenge-tool of some pissed-off girlfriends/wives of player men.
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@bongoman
Good to see your post. Who knows how many American men are in similar situations?!?
I like your approach and I’m taking a similar path. Regardless of the marriage outcome, shredding the betaness will have a positive affect. Plus, it’s kinda fun confusing your wife after years of predictability!
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@welmer
I see what you’re saying but that’s not a risk when wifey is currently big and preggo. The plot thickens…..
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Yes, but I’m really having to stay grounded – she’s getting more and more bent out of shape as she realises I’m not Mr Nice Guy any more and won’t buy into her dramas. I used to take the bait the whole time from her, and now that I’m not playing that game, she’s turning it up to get a response from me. So it seems like she’s in bitch mode 24/7.
I’m just staying cheerful and aloof to the best of my ability.
It’s a pain in the ass really, living with someone who seems constantly bent of shape over things. But right now it’s the only path forward for me. Don’t take the bait, I keep reminding myself.
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well I guess that deletes the morning hummer you were gonna get.
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If it’s a sexless marriage what do you have to lose? Besides your kids, money, and dignity hahaha!?!
Seriously, I feel your pain.
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@Welmer: “If she thinks you’re fucking around there’s a damn good chance she’ll jump the nearest guy she can get her hands on. Alpha cuts both ways.”
If it’s that far gone, what difference does it make? I mean, what is the likelihood she ain’t cheating, but immediately would if she suspected BetaMan of doing so? If she’s given up on his dick, she’s at least open to fresh peen, if she’s not actively sitting on one at present.
I had a friend whose marriage went sexless. I know for a fact he was being cheated on. Don’t know if game could have saved that relationship, but it certainly couldn’t have hurt.
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@barbabs
There is some validity to what you are saying, but it is far from 100%. There is a small % of women out there who are motivated to not rape their exes because they want to maintain positive future relations for the sake of their kids. *Some* are smart enough to realize that alienating the father/ex husband can potentially backfire for the children if she screws him too hard. Not all women are 100% evil.
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@lupo
I hear ya. You just have to be able to balance GAME with the reality of her legal power. It’s not an easy juggling act.
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I never bang women that are out of my league, because there aren’t any.
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“when was the last time you heard a guy giving a girl shit about her wanting to take off for the night and hang out with her friends?”
Men are by nature controlling and do this incessantly.
“This is most striking in regard to painting, the technique of which is as much within their reach as within ours; this is why they pursue it so industriously. Still, they have not a single great painting to show, for the simple reason that they lack that objectivity of mind which is precisely what is so directly necessary in painting.”
Objectivity of mind is what is wanted in making great art? Cretin. It must be granted that there have been few great female painters and none I would accord the status of genius. But I’ve always been moved by Artemisia’s rendering of Judith slaying Holofernes. I prefer it even to Caravaggio. Here it is:
Looks like post-coital bliss to me.
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BlackFlag
You got along great with your dad, I bet. It shows. It is a good thing, btw.
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Well BetaMan; you’ve already made the choice which puts you in her legal power, so you’re already screwed. There’s freedom in that realization. I’m not saying you should go out and bone a bunch of women (I’m not saying you shouldn’t either), but game for the win. The worst thing that can happen … it’s already sort of happened: you fucked up, you got married! So, like, enjoy the rest of your life as best you are able, and do your best. We’re all worm food anyway.
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BetaMan
“That’s the true challenge, maintaining an aloof frame when she knows me better than I know myself. I am resentful and fired up about the situation which is difficult to hide.”
Come on man, you *must* be positive.
Try this:
First change your external habits in an entirely different part of your life. This can be anything, and ideally not related to her. This is the smoke screen for *subsequent* changes to matters involving your interactions. This must be a positive personal change. It must communicate self appreciation and desire for positive change.
She will note this new development but your intent will be under the radar. Mum’s the word to keep those hamsters spinning till they drop.
Now you have prep’d her mind with the idea that “my husband has changed something about his behavior”, and, “hmm. That’s not like him.”
Hamster: he is changed.
Then, you can start making punitive changes in the boudoir. She won’t see it coming.
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“Well BetaMan; you’ve already made the choice which puts you in her legal power, so you’re already screwed.”
What a bunch of crap. If it came down to that, I would just bail . If Mexicans can cross the Rio Grande, then a blue pass port can get me to Brazil. I would rather die than live like a enslaved cuckold. Legal power is just a piece of paper. The harder the system screws you, screw the system back harder. I have a good marriage and I will and can play nice because I picked a loyal wife, but I am not a good enemy to have as a business partner discovered.
If that is too radical for you, then still dump the old lady and seduce some other broad who is collecting some other guy’s child support. If she gets too chunky for you, cheat on her too. To hell with it! If nice got you there, then a no good dirty bastard will get you out. I am never going to suck it up under the thumb of a lousy ho and her marriage certificate.
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Laura:
You guys are going to put the professional marriage counselors out of business.
It’s about fucking time!
Next on the chopping block: “relationship experts”
Rum:
You got along great with your dad, I bet. It shows.
Heh
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Roissy, I sent you an email with a snippet of this news story; I hope you will give us your patented Roissyan point of view on it.
WASHINGTON, March 9 (Reuters) – About 16 percent of Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 are infected with genital herpes, making it one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases, U.S. health officials said on Tuesday.
****Black women had the highest rate of infection at 48 percent****
and women were nearly twice likely as men to be infected….
About 21 percent of [all] women were infected with genital herpes, compared to only 11.5 percent of [all] men, while 39 percent of blacks were infected compared to about 12 percent for whites….
[Dr. John] Douglas Douglas said the increased rate of infection in blacks is not do to increased risk behavior but likely due to biological factors that make women more susceptible as well as the higher rate of infection within black communities. [heh — transparent bit of cover-his-ass sophistry there]
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For me personally if the law screws me, so be it. I would rather be poor, free, and happy than well-off and miserable.
Children don’t have the luxury of this choice however which makes things more complex if you are a man who cares about your children.
HOWEVER when a man has been emasculated an argument can be made that he can be a more effective father as a converted divorced alpha than a married beta.
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@gamu
Thanks for the positive energy. I have done some of this and it has had a positive (albeit very limited) impact.
It’s tough to maintain the effort for the marriage when you have a female on the other side 100% willing to toss marriage vows under the bus without even a hint of a guilty conscious.
I’m trying though. Again I’m going down swinging!
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@BetaMan
My pleasures. Brothers help brothers.
“It’s tough to maintain the effort for the marriage when you have a female on the other side 100% willing to toss marriage vows under the bus without even a hint of a guilty conscious.
I’m trying though. Again I’m going down swinging!”
So here is the crit:
Your thought patterns are self defeating. thought -> vocalization -> realization.
1) “It’s tough to maintain the effort *for the marriage*”
Bad thought. Banish!
Better thought:
“It is a challenge to maintain the effort *for MYSELF*”
2) “Again I’m going *down* swinging!”
Bad thought. Banish!
Better thought:
“This time I’m getting *out* swinging!”
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@Tupac
I wish I could punch my former “marriage counselor” in the face! What a FRAUD!!
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Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.
Boy, you are such a man.
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BetaMan, I believe that the fact that you are the only one fighting for your marriage is part of the problem.
You say “It’s tough to maintain the effort for the marriage when you have a female on the other side 100% willing to toss marriage vows under the bus without even a hint of a guilty conscious.” Sounds like your marriage is over.
Let him who desires peace prepare for war. Prepare to unleash hell if necessary.
See a divorce lawyer who represents fathers; pay cash for the consult. And don’t tell her.
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Plat…
girls wracked with heaving sobs cannot be avoided if you have a sack. i mean, that is not filled with sawdust or confetti.
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Thanks Bobby – yeah this is already in the works.
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BetaMan:
I wish I could punch my former “marriage counselor” in the face! What a FRAUD!!
Was your marriage counselor female? If so, I feel for you man. I’m acquainted with a couple of *decent* (not great) male marriage counselors, but all the females are total looney tunes new-age feminists.
It goes without saying that should a married beta find himself seeking counseling, at the very *least* make sure the counselor is male.
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@Tupac: yes
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“You got along great with your dad, I bet. It shows.”
Do you imagine I hate men? No, no, Rum. They are deeply flawed creatures, as are we all. But even so, they fascinate me: the glory, jest, and Riddle of the World.
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Took me a few seconds to realize I started daydreaming.
Then someone should dick-slap you awake then.
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BetaMan, one other thing. She probably has ALL of your online passwords. Assume she has a keystroke logger on your computer (google it). Do not do anything you want to keep secret on your home computer.
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“She will get cuddles, kisses, hugs from the kids.”
Yeah, but will she get a mind-blowing orgasm from them?
And if she does, you have much, much bigger problems than you realise.
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Counseling?
The best form of that, for me, has happened with stone-drunk fuck-buddies and at a large-caliber pistol range. Or, if I have the time, killing feral hogs in the wilds of S. Texas.
Fried in chunks. Yum.
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Black Flag:
“You got along great with your dad, I bet. It shows.”
Do you imagine I hate men?
I’d say he imagines you crave the discipline, limits and structure you never got from your father.
But if I’m wrong I’d be interested in hearing your story.
While it is true that ALL women crave dominant men in greater or lesser degrees, the vignettes you have shared on this blog place you squarely within the “freak” category outlined by better men than I in the seduction community.
And as Rum says, that’s not a bad thing. Freaks are great in the sack.
Sensible men however would never attempt intimacy with one.
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Rum:
Fried in chunks. Yum.
I think you mean “Yuum”
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Black Flag
I was trying to be nice. Alas.
You are obviously a peculiarly sane human female. In my experience, that requires a good dad in the picture..
The thing is, I do not need the hassle.
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@Laura: I just read your post. Thanks for the female perspective. I know what needs to be done, however it is most likely too late. We shall see.
@Bobby: Thanks, I’m on it.
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DF: when is it maladaptive for a bred to be alpha to not behave like an alpha?
ROISSY: “Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy
best answer: rules have not yet been finally codified.
worst answer: even I (roissy) cant do it
partial credit on this one.
Roissy, are there
(any) situations in life that draw a beta response from you?
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There are actually women out there who will stab someone in the neck with a meat thermometer because the person made a comment about the rudeness of talking on a cell phone during a movie (in a movie theater even). It’s probably a good idea to make sure that you don’t have a woman like that in bed with you before saying things like those this post mentions.
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Rum:
You are obviously a peculiarly sane human female. In my experience, that requires a good dad in the picture..
I wonder if Poetry of Flesh had what we would consider to be a “good dad”
I’m asking sincerely.
She is, after all, rather “sane”
Or perhaps an outlier.
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How to deal with a girl wracked by heaving sobs:
First, carefully note what she is holding in her hands. Is there a knife or gun? If not, be thankful and move on to the next question:
Did you always wear a condom and give her a false name?
If so, give thanks to the gods of poon. You need them on your side, btw, if you are going to follow this path…
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@barbbabbs
Thanks for the C. S. Lewis quotes, food for thought.
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“Sensible men however would never attempt intimacy with one.”
Sensible men–oh God, the image that conjures up–would not have the opportunity to make such an…”attempt.”
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Sensible men–oh God, the image that conjures up–would not have the opportunity to make such an…”attempt.”
Surely. But be sure to enjoy your merry-go-round of chaotic and volatile suitors who never seem to give you what you truly desire.
We only live once, after all.
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I should add that the “sensible” in my comments does not refer to standard issue, conventional middle class males. What I mean by sensible in this context are men who have seen through the matrix but still desire emotionally intimate LTR’s — perhaps for the purpose of children or stable companionate relationship. I am not talking about Ned Flanders or your typical frat rat MBA.
As I reflect on this, I am becoming aware of the issue that has vexed me over the years and has caused my behavior to skitter erratically across the women who have crossed my path. You see, I desire the Ideal, the Pure, the Good, the Evolved, the Best.
But it seems the few women who fall into this category come in two different stripes: the classy, intelligent yet feminine traditionalists like Clio who inspire my Alpha Provider instinct, and the post-modern, educated, self-aware Holy Whores like POF whom have brought to bear their latent rationality upon their sexual nature in a nihilistic free for all of enlightened self-interest. The dilemma is so clear to me now.
But as a Red Pill swallower, I’m not quite sure what fork in the road to take. This is truly the bee in my bonnet at the moment and yet I’m still feeling around in the dark.
Perhaps Roissyencrantz could steer me right. Please bestow me with your insight R. I’m flummoxed.
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These days, if a marriage goes sexless of course the woman will cheat — unless she’s totally disgusting and can’t.
The point is that women who are into alphas are sexually adventurous. This is just the way it is. If you’re a guy who’s getting a lot on the side, your women likely are too (pimp paradigm). If that weren’t the case, STD rates would be much higher among women than they are amongst men, and from available data it appears that they are roughly equal.
I think Roissy even gets into this with the post on how to maintain several girls at once — the highest quality ones will inevitably figure it out and start screwing some other guy.
One thing I often see here that strikes me as endearingly naive is that guys assume that if they are only alpha enough women will suddenly become their perfect, chaste little subservient types.
lol
If alpha traits in one guy give them tingles, another guy who displays them will have the same effect, just like a good body on one woman won’t stop us men from lusting after a good body on another.
Without heavy-duty social control, women are promiscuous. Throughout history, men have always known this. It’s only in the last couple hundred years that this cult of willful stupidity about women has emerged in the Anglosphere.
Incidentally, this is why Roissy’s writing is revolutionary: it exposes the long-hidden truth.
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@Bardasio
Regarding your query on higher rates of genital herpes in women: This is pretty much a biological fact. Women, and homosexual bottoms, get the shit end of the stick STD-wise. This is just a product of the fact that their equipment, be it a vag or a asshole, is more likely to incur micro-tears while marinating in STD-infected sex juices, than is a penis.
Perhaps a more direct and medical explanation than you were looking for from Roissy. My apologies.
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i believe barbsbabsz has mastered the site. the simple formula is easy to mock.
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“to marry means to halve one’s rights and to double one’s duties” shopenhauer
he must have had a crystal ball
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To the man who mentioned CS lewis i totally agree.
This site seems to confirm my worst worries. As the human race progresses it inevitably becomes more sex obsessed. Once a species conquers survival, the battle for sex accelerates.
If we leave reproduction to the sexually obsessed, perverted and uneducated. What do you think will happen?
We could descend into ferality within a few generations. When feral apes rule the world, will anyone care or remember the words of this man?
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Alpha frame? What alpha lies there after sex worrying that the girl is actually out of his league and concocting dungeons & dragons strategies to ensure some more? The kind that never gets any. How’d this alpha achieve this miracle of luck he can’t quite believe? Pass her a napkin asking if she liked him from the other end of the bar?
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Like Andrew Dice Clay said: “Ungh! Get out.” Keep ’em coming back from more.
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“This site seems to confirm my worst worries. As the human race progresses it inevitably becomes more sex obsessed. Once a species conquers survival, the battle for sex accelerates.
If we leave reproduction to the sexually obsessed, perverted and uneducated. What do you think will happen?”
I think you miss a big part of what this site is about, but try reading this for the bigger picture:
http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
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@gamu
Your advice is solid. That’s a huge hurdle for many betas trapped in a bad modern marriage: electing to do things for yourself instead of for others.
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“This probably has many good results: but it has one bad result. Among young people, obviously, it reduces the amount of serious argument about the ideas. When a young male bird is in the presence of the young female it must (Nature insists) display its plumage. Any mixed society thus becomes the scene of wit, banter, persiflage, anecdote—of everything in the world rather than prolonged and rigorous discussion on ultimate issues, or of those serious masculine friendships in which such discussion arises. Hence, in our student population, a lowering of the metaphysical energy.”
Watch a proof: http://www.infoq.com/presentations/Codename-M
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BetaMan
Things could be worse. You could be this dude, married to this bitch.
The Deflationist: How Paul Krugman found politics.
Note the cat holding, the standing behind and to one side.
Is Beta of the Month still going on?
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omg this is barbbabbs!!
i started my own blog!!
http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com/
Bring Back Prima Noctes! Braveheart: “Grant them prima noctes. First night, when any common girl inhabiting their lands is married, our nobles shall have sexual rights to her on the night of her wedding.” lolzlz!
March 10, 2010 by greatbooksformen
“Longshanks: Nobles. Nobles are the key to the door of Scotland. Grant our nobles lands in the north. Give their nobles estates here in England, and make them too greedy to oppose us.
Advisor: But sire, our nobles will be reluctant to uproot. New lands mean new taxes, and they are already taxed for the war in France.
Longshanks: Are they? Are they? The trouble with Scotland is that it’s full of Scots. Perhaps the time has come to reinstitute an old custom. Grant them prima noctes. First night, when any common girl inhabiting their lands is married, our nobles shall have sexual rights to her on the night of her wedding. If we can’t get them out, we breed them out. That should fetch just the kind of lords we want to Scotland, taxes or no taxes.
Advisor: A most excellent idea, sire.
Longshanks: Is it? “
–From Braveheart
I wish they would bring Prima Noctes back!!
Imagine just one other man having rights to your wife, for one night, before you got her.
That would rock!!
Today the master fiat class gives the first rights of your wife to an endless array of douchetards, starting in elementary school, commanding her to see lying, peacocking, manipulative, girly beta males as alphas, while seeing manly alphas as betas; as her mother exiled her true father long ago, under command of the fiat masters.
From an early age they teach her that her ginatingles rule the world, not Jesus, nor Thor, nor Zeus, nor Moses. When she gets knocked up, they reward her with fiat dollars which Ben Benanke hand delivers in his helicopter.
Today, when she kisses those kids and sends them off to school, she leaves traces of dozens of other men on their cheeks.
Make no mistake–she is working for the Fed, and if you question any of this she will take your children away and the feminist police will search your home to determine how many assets of yours she will get. For again, all the Fed can do is create debt, and to convert this debt into physical wealth, they need men, like you, to work and labor for it. lozlzlzl!
You know you tasted it when you kissed her a couple times–that salty prima nocta. And now she pwns u, the kids, and the home!
lozlzl!
http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com/
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@meg00k – haha he could have at least picked up the larger cat
@roissy – *update* gave her a ride to work this morning and didn’t lean in for the kiss good-bye like i have for 10+ years. she wiggled her pregnant ass towards me with a playful grin as i smiled wryly.
taking baby steps….taking baby steps…..
i’ve been fantasizing about giving her the “cuddle Heisman” ever since i read this post:
NEVER get married!
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@ seran — thanks for the link.
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Interesting to hear BetaMan and the others’ stories, even as a girl. I almost wonder if he’s married to one of the b*tches I work for lol (the type that complain about their idiot hubbies… um you’re the one that married him and emasculate him honey?). Sounds like good advice given by Roissy, I am also curious about it plays out in such a deep end situation. Gamu’s mental reframing was really good, sad some guys don’t think that way already.
About the post-
That is a pretty good set of lines. They manage to convey aloofness without being very mean.
How can a girl fault a guy for being honest about his feelings? Everyone has the right to ask for space when they need it. Don’t girls say stuff like, “We’re going too fast,” all the time too?
BTW… isn’t it common knowledge that men generally don’t like to cuddle after s*x? They prefer to roll over and sleep? Seems like jokes about girls who get in the way of a man and his post-coital rest are soooo common.
It seems like guys in general don’t like excessive mushiness or cuddliness, unless they initiate. A girl who does the cuddly thing within reason is cute and charming, I’m sure… but not if she’s the type who is always like, “Can I have a hug,” or “Let’s cuddle.” So bossy and selfish. The same girl would probably get mad if her man said (pardon my crudeness!), “Can I have a b-j-,” or, “Let’s b0ne.”.
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Ahahaha @ Lena, “Is it because of your performance?” That’s pretty funny although too emasculating… to get a guy to fall in deep love. Unless he’s the type that gets off on beating the worst sh*t tests, and actually prefers taming b*tches (“Taming of the Shrew” types). Who I don’t think are super common but it seems like most guys do like feeling like they won (earned) the upper hand from time to time. It reminds them of what a man they are, which might not come as often with a girl that’s easy to please. There’s a sweet spot with just a little bit of challenge and feistyness but not too much… And balanced with lots of femmy sweetness and softness. Just a theory…
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@Welmer: “The point is that women who are into alphas are sexually adventurous. ”
Well, back to my point that BetaMan is doomed anyway, and so should try to enjoy life as best he can (whether or not this involves moving to Brazil: that’s certainly what I would do in his situation if it doesn’t work out). I actually disagree with you though. All women are into alpha males. Women from intact families or traditional cultures, where there would be shame involved in cheating, don’t cheat so much. We’re sort of saying the same thing, but BetaMan might very well be shacked up with a fundamentally sound woman who has just lost interest because he is acting like a wuss.
People on these blogs lose track of a very important dynamic; it’s not just the woman’s fault in these episodes. If the man has allowed himself to become a pussified gelding … of course women are going to give him a hard time. It’s only recently that large proportions of the male population have become such pussies. I like what Spengler says about this in his universal law of gender parity:
“In every corner of the world and in every epoch of history, the men and women of every culture deserve each other.”
The reason modern American women are a bunch of slutty harpies is basically because modern American men are a bunch of weak chested, chinless, jerking off to porn eunuchs. You can call them “decent men” for buying into modern cultural insanity all the live long day, but if they’re pussies, that’s what they really are.
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Great advice by many people to Betaman. Keep it up folks. This is the kind of stuff that makes this place special.
Betaman, please follow through with the necessary and report back.
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Just read through the comments—Good luck BetaMan! It does sound like your situation is a bit too far gone even for Game, but go down swinging brother! I’d love to know how these techniques work out for you.
I’m just glad I’m still young enough to have learnt this shit before marriage or some other fucked up situation. I have an Ivy League degree, but no place and no one has educated me like the Gameosphere over the last few years I guaran-damn-tee you that.
I know it sucks for so many guys who have endured sexless marriages, divorce theft, and other mistakes due to ignorance—but if you can, take solace in the fact that so many young guys behind you are reading shit like this and now know exactly what they’re faced with.
Your sacrifice wasn’t in vain.
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@lupo:
“BetaMan might very well be shacked up with a fundamentally sound woman who has just lost interest because he is acting like a wuss.”
That is an accurate statement in my case. She is a highly intelligent 8 and is everything a guy who is dumb enough to get married would want in a wife. Cooks, cleans, conversates at high levels, loves and respects my family, great sense of humor, loves sports etc, etc.
But the attraction is gone (on both ends I might add). The “freshness” concept from a previous roissy post definitely applied to me. This happened before things started to spiral and I believe fueled my transition into betaness which ultimately has killed the marriage.
If I had read this blog a year or two ago I would have identified the obvious warning signs and would have swiftly course corrected then. I guess I stupidly assumed vows and a ring would protect me from a rough stretch in the marriage. I mean you shouldn’t have to game your own wife right? Isn’t that one reason guys marry in the first place? Because they are sick of playing games?
It’s obviously most likely done, but I am having fun trying new and different things to resurrect it (for the sake of the kids). I appreciate all of the advice.
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I wonder how many of these “classy” women even bothered to insist that Roissy wear a condom?
[editor: none. and i didn’t offer.]
My guess… their vajes were thrilled at the prospect of sucking up some Alpha seed on the side.
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lovelysexybeauty — great comment.
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wrong. Lupo — great comment. Missed the textbox.
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“This helps explain why 70-80% of divorces are initiated by the wives.”
Why gild the lily? Women initiate divorce 65% of the time. “Two thirds” would be roughly accurate. As would “twice as often as men.”
With an accurate and impressive stat available, why exaggerate?
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Better yet, get up and watch the second half of the European Champions league quarter finals.
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Barbara Ann, aka Fuckhead, it’s not that we dislike you as a person and therefore attack who you are rather than what you say (ad hominem). Indeed, on the anonymous internet you are what you say. Instead, it’s that you are mainly incomprehensible until you cut-and-paste something you deem “wise” but that we know is irrelevant to the discussion. What is there to attack? School-girl ramblings, or Latin and French quotes you can’t even read out loud much less understand. Shut the fuck up, dipshit.
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Well, blame the law Lupo. If a man wants to stay out of jail and have a chance to be a father, he’s got to be a “pussified gelding.”
Of course, you could always be an outlaw like me, but do you really want to lose your job and do time? Do you want to risk gunfights with the cops?
I’ll tell ya: you’re gonna lose.
On the bright side, if enough men just didn’t give a shit, the entire system would be SOL. However, I’m not betting on that happening as long as enough guys are getting paid to shut up and show up at their feminized workplace everyday.
Fortunately, the state will run out of money in due course, and then they won’t even be able to afford to put us in jail anymore (I hope).
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Remember, stb-ex is good to practice on, if nothing else.
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@Welmer: “Well, blame the law Lupo. If a man wants to stay out of jail and have a chance to be a father, he’s got to be a “pussified gelding.”
Of course, you could always be an outlaw like me, but do you really want to lose your job and do time? Do you want to risk gunfights with the cops?”
Well Welmer, who voted for those laws anyway? I don’t remember doing so myself, but let’s face it: in a democracy with bad laws, the enemy is us. Or at least the sheep all around us. They look like great laws … for a nation of chicken chested geldings and cuckolds, which is kind of what we have. FWIIW, I don’t have a job: I’m the boss.
Personally, I don’t want to be a father at all. I don’t like children, and don’t think it would be fair to bring any relative of mine into a culture which is this fucked up. I sympathize with men who do want children, and would always advise them to move to another nation. Turkey, Latvia, Mexico, Indonesia: pretty much anyplace is better than here or Northern Europe. There are other strategies as well; a friend of mine married and knocked up one of my ex girlfriends, who makes tons of money working in the medical field. She paid him alimony for a few years. I personally thought that ruled a lot. Kind of a fucked up way of inflicting your offspring on the world, but there you have it.
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When she wants to cuddle, I turn around and punch her in the face. That’s 12 months of hand.
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I know some lawyer chicks that like to cuddle.
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Not sure if this was already asked, but I am wondering what the effect would be if a girl (9-9.5) used this on a guy she’s been dating for about 2 months? Let’s just say she is above his league and he probably knows this but he has got good game, and is very self-confident. Things are pretty equal but there is a subtle power struggle at hand. The girl wants to maintain the upper hand (naturally). He suggests spending the weekend together incl. spending the night at his place. If the girl were to leave in the morning, cutting the weekend short, citing things to take care of/needs some time to herself etc., what effect do you think this is gonna have on the guy?
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BetaMan–
Marriage counselors are virtually all feminist indoctrinated to a considerable extent. One’s that have taken the blue pill are rarer than hen’s teeth.
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Kristin: “what effect do you think this is gonna have on the guy?”
Personally, it wouldn’t have any effect on me at all. Men don’t have the hamster wheel that makes them over analyze crap like this. If she’s actually breaking plans, I’d probably spend the afternoon hitting on someone else, as “needing time to yourself” (aka acting like a nut) is a really dumb reason to break plans.
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Lupo: true, men don’t analyze things like women do. I’ll give you that.
But I sense a double standard here: it’s a cool “alpha” move for a man to distance himself emotionally from a woman just after having sex with her, but if a woman does it (albeit in a different type of situation) it’s acting like a nut?
Okay, so if she did the exact same move that Roissy describes in his post, would that be “acting like a nut” too?
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@kristin
roissy’s post describes first time sex with the woman. if he was the type to want to initiate cuddling with a 9/9.5 like you describe he most likely wouldn’t have bedded her in the first place. and if she didn’t initiate cuddling, he most likely wouldn’t give a shit and just go to sleep.
there are no “double standards” on this blog – just reality.
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@BetaMan
No marriage experience here but I’ve got some pointers for you about your change.
First, as you change, your social circle and your woman are going to notice. Especially when you overcompensate asshole. Because you’re beta and therefore can’t lie convincingly, for now, you need a *relatively true* story that a hamster could use to plausibly explain the changes in your life.
I suggest that the first time you mysteriously leave at short notice, it’s for a camping trip with your buddies, or something else similar that you never ever do. (Just remember the trip has to have the potential for meeting other women on it)
Of course, over time you’ll stop explaining yourself to anyone, and more and more your woman’s currently feared inquiry and anger will become to you like a bone to a dog. Something fun to play around with when you’re bored.
Between now and then, however, you will make mistakes and you will succumb to moments of weakness. Your “camping” story (told casually with an abundance of nebulous mystery of course), serves as emergency backup.
Also to begin with, you’re going to take hell. The first few times beta don’t do what she tell him, she’s going to be enraged.
You’re going to fear for your life. She’ll probably pull her standard beta bait subjugation ploys – like threatening to leave you.
Shrug it off. Don’t back down. Not an inch.
Remember, her anger is irrelevant…
Amusing, actually….
Hmmm, I feel like a bite to eat. “Do we have any cheese for a sandwich, love?” … (you interrupt her as she’s screaming at you)… “I’m *really* hungry.”
The final thing is I noticed a very dangerous statement in your comments: “Not all women are 100% evil.”
Massive psychological mistake.
It’s dangerous beta rationalization – “sure the nature of women is generally true, but *my* woman is slightly different, therefore I can be weak in front of her and she’ll still love me, she’s been loyal in the past, after all”.
The correct frame of mind is to ignore all those little things you (think you) know about your woman, and realize that *all* people are capable of murder.
But equally, *all* people are capable of incredible generosity, good, and wonderful relationships.
Which way it goes depends on you.
You desire peace.
But always remember, for a good man, peace comes through strength.
Your women got to know that if they mess with you, the gates of mother fucking hell will open up.
Good luck and keep us posted with your progress. However, do it on a new laptop that you buy, password protect and don’t allow anyone else to use – I second the guy who pointed out the keylogger problem.
Plus, now that you’re running tight game you’ll see an additional benefit:
“Why does he need his own laptop all of a sudden? Why won’t he let me use it, even to check my email? Who is he chatting to on that thing and so late at night?”
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Kirstin: “But I sense a double standard here: it’s a cool “alpha” move for a man to distance himself emotionally from a woman just after having sex with her, but if a woman does it (albeit in a different type of situation) it’s acting like a nut?”
Presumably, you’re shitting me with your “double standard.” Men and women’s brains work different. The reason Roissy game works, is because they’re being applied to female brains; with their over abundance of glial cells submerged in estrogen and smaller prefrontal lobes and everything. The end. Applying Roissy game to male brains will get you confused looks, and rapidly, spooged on and dumped. Roissy presumably also fucks his girls like an alpha monkey: if a girl tried to do that to me, I’d punch her in the throat.
Girl tricks work on male brains; if you want girl tricks, go read freaking Cosmo or something.
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@FlashGordon
More great advice – thanks my man!
The changes I am making are having a positive impact and I feel her super tight grip on my testicles loosening *slightly*.
One consistent issue I haven’t been able to figure out is the best way to counter her always asking me “why do you ask?” after EVERY SINGLE EFFING QUESTION I EVER ASK HER!
I’ve solved it on the text msg / email front by simply ignoring that question from her after I get my answer to whatever it is I am asking.
But what is the best way to handle this scenario in F2F interactions and phone conversations?
In the past I have completely flipped out and called her annoying and a control freak etc, but I think this had her thinking I am insecure and/or unstable with the added negative of inflating her ego knowing she can really get under my skin that easily.
NEVER get married.
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@BetaMan
Handling the question: “Why do you ask?”
For women, *everything* is about status. Information and logic is irrelevant. They see only see the status of the males they are interacting with.
So when your wife says these sorts of things, she doesn’t actually care about the information at all. What she’s doing is checking your social status, and you’re failing every time you respond to her.
Trying to *explain* to your wife that her behavior is annoying / controlling / illogical will only lower your status and therefore lower her attraction to you.
Low status people explain themselves.
Low status people answer questions.
Treat her challenges to your status for what they are – silly child like behavior.
Her: “Why do you ask?”
You: “Don’t be silly, answer my question.” (firm patronizing tone)
At that point if she answers you’ve done well. If she continues with her silliness, you need to be firm.
Her: “But why do you need to know?”
You: “Don’t be stupid. Answer my fucking question. [insert question here]” (really firm tone)
Firm, fair and clear.
If she’s still silly, say no more, walk off. Don’t discuss the matter again as it simply reminds her she can challenge your status. Ignore her if she goes at you for it.
that’s the strength angle. another angle is as follows:
Her: “Why do you ask?”
You: “That a few greys in your hair?” (random topic change)
Her: … bla bla bla
You: [1 or 2 minutes later ask your question again]
repeat cycle of: your question, her challenge, your random topic change, your question, until she answers.
She’s got to learn she can’t challenge your status and get away with it.
You ask her a question. God damn it she answers.
Simple rules.
Simple punishments for bad behavior. (Walk away / ignore / no cuddling)
Simple rewards for good behavior. (Smile / cuddle / food)
Firm, fair and clear.
As a general rule you shouldn’t answer a female’s question directly as low status people answer questions.
Remember that generally, females don’t ask questions to seek knowledge.
They ask questions to determine status.
So deliver them the *real* thing they are seeking.
Change the subject. Randomly decide to tease her about her sagging breasts. Ignore her question and ask her one. Pretend you didn’t hear. Say something completely unrelated to her question. Deliver a shit eating grin then just walk off.
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Flash – well done on putting into words the social dynamics of hiearchy, and how to manipulate that to advantage.
It’s a fund self-reinforcing dynamic – the more you do that, the more you see the success, the more your personality will change, due to the simple mechanics of reward. It makes a personality shift.
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I suppose the reason this natural reward mechanism doesn’t kick in and make all men act more selfishly is that it’s a delayed reward, and you have to learn to be less bothered by the high drama of the shit storms that precede the reward.
It’s after the shit tests no longer get under your skin that the rewards of acting selfish begin to feel good and reinforce your actions.
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The delayed response is the primary reason a postive feedback loop dosen’t develop in most men…. they might take the right action on occasion, but they don’t see the connection between the proper response and the resulting gina tingle.
Game is nothing but instructing man on what the proper actions are, once he know’s this he’ll be able to cognitvely link proper action with the resulting reward.
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I am really hot (people stare at me), and nice. I try to please in every department. My husband did all this to me, including the move described in this blog post, because he was insecure about losing me, he said. I was a virgin when we married and when he did this. This sort of manipulation worked for years, but now I see through it. I’m divorcing him for emotional abuse. I won’t listen to anything he says, and I never will again, because I don’t trust him. Our children are heartbroken.
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@ Betaman
“*update* gave her a ride to work this morning and didn’t lean in for the kiss good-bye like i have for 10+ years. she wiggled her pregnant ass towards me with a playful grin as i smiled wryly.
taking baby steps….taking baby steps…..”
My wife who reads this blog with me, said this was a big step, because she will be wondering all day why you didn’t. The asswiggling was her way of saying this is what you are missing. It had an effect. Little things like that are what women use as powerplays. Women use the minutia to control things.
We think you are making progress and it can be saved.
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Too bad you couldn’t master the English language
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It works.
Whose got the higher value now biatch?! haha
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