Background:
You’ve been dating a girl for many months. She calls you boyfriend. You call her “dirty ho get on mah cooooock.” (Please to do impersonating Fat Bastard.)
She’s an adventurous girl who likes to travel to exotic lands. She’s also a sexually voracious girl. You’re a dude who reads this blog (smart!), so you know when a girl takes a vacation overseas odds are it’s meant to be a straycation where she sluts it up with a honey-tongued Antonio. Well, your girl has announced she wants to go on a hiking excursion through the wilds of South America, holing up in hostels along the way with musky scented hippies and assorted Euroladdies. She wants you to go with her, although she tells you she has been planning this trip since before she met you and will go by herself if you don’t join her.
The trip is expensive and you’re not digging the idea of blowing free time hiking on craggy rocks in foul weather. Let’s say you have alternate plans to spend your money on a big purchase in the near future. So you think it over and decide not to go, knowing full well the implications of waving bon voyage to a girlfriend who is about to embark on a lone trek through an exotic fantasyland, where she will be irresistible Americano prey for the local Lotharios. The thought weighs heavily on you, but not too heavily as you think about the fun you will have while the cat’s away.
Two weeks later she returns and jumps into your arms. She is positively glowing. She eagerly tells you about her trip and gives you a bunch of presents she bought while down there. Then she jumps you. The sex is as good as it always is. You think she came, but the important thing here is that you came. Afterwards, she makes soup for you and generally treats you like a king. In fact, over the next few days, you notice she’s bending over backwards to please you.
Hmmm.
You wonder if her generosity of spirit and openness of heart is prompted by guilt or by joy at seeing you after a long absence.
The weeks pass and everything continues going well with her. But still… What exactly happened down there? You know better than to trust women, but if she’s continuing to sex you like you’re a god, and making you sandwiches with a smile, what do you care what did or didn’t happen? You’ve learned a few things about women over the years and one thing you know is that women don’t cheat like men do. Unlike men, women are incapable of expressing unbridled sexual lust and love for multiple men simultaneously. Women only have room in their emotional landscapes for one “main man” at a time. When a woman cheats, one of the men is going to get the short end of the stick. For example, a wifey who procures an alpha shaft on the side is likely henpecking her beta hubby and withdrawing sexual favors from him. By contrast, Tiger Woods was probably continuing to fuck the shit out of Elin even while getting his knob slobbed by twenty other women on the sly.
So you conclude that your girlfriend’s strong sexual desire and genuine affection for you means you are still number one in her heart, and that she probably did not do anything while away from you, except dream about being back in your arms. You *could* snoop around her stuff and spend mental energy trying to discover if she had a fling, or you could forget about your unfounded suspicions and just enjoy her everflowing love.
What do you do?
Bang one of my side pieces so in my head I can feel that we are even. Then, enjoy the hospitality.
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“The trip is expensive”
No. It’s not.
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You’re kidding, right?
You let her go on a trip?
Fail.
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And “Foul weather?” What part of SA did she go to? Yakutsk exclusively?
But to answer your question: Who gives a shit if she fucked someone while she’s 5000 miles away?
If everything is peachy now, you’d be a moron to go digging.
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Reem harder, demand two sandwiches instead of one. You also should have had plenty of satisfaction over that two week break.
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MeMyselfI,
You don’t? How? On what grounds?
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I don’t waste time thinking about scenarios like this. As long as I’m being treated well, the relationship satisfies me, and can go about my usual business I’m good to go.
Drama and suspicions in either directions are the only foreshadowing needed for me to move along. Henpecking and sexual withdrawal aren’t tolerated. Snooping cements beta behavior that would indicate too much of an investment.
What kind of sandwiches are we talkin’ here? No light mayo!
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To quibble a bit with your hypothetical, studies have shown that in terms of producing or maximizing happiness, experiences trump “big purchases.”
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What was her attitude before she left? Did she make sandwiches with a smile and slob your knob then thank you for the free shot of protein? In my experience travel can totally expand your mind and change your outlook on life. However, I was not usually happy about returning to America and more specifically American women. You have to assume something happened other than her expanded outlook on world culture.
Whatever happened was far far away and ignorance can truly be bliss. The important thing is that you are enjoying your time with her in the present. If you start looking for shadows you will certainly find them. Be open to the possibility that she fooled around but not paranoid about it. Otherwise it will come through in your attitude and she will pick up on your insecurity.
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If I weren’t interested in marrying her eventually, I’d let sleeping dogs lie. If I had been at some point, I think the fact that she went on a trip alone so many months into the relatinship would have been a marriage deal-breaker (though I’d still keep her as a girlfriend if I was otherwise happy with her.)
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She can’t cheat if shes dead…just sayin..
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Do nothing. As long as you get regular good sex and cooking you’re happy. The only time you should start worrying is when the regular good sex decreases in frequency. However I would make sure that I have other chicks around that I can quickly switch to should anything bad happen with this one (i.e. I find out somehow that she has cheated). It’s “keeping two in the kitty” as Roissy would say.
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The test is not one night, the test is a minimum of three weeks. A girl whose heart is somewhere else can bang you once, but not over a sustained period of time.
The real kicker is not the sex, the real kick is her desire to hang out with you. Is she withdrawing? Is she restless? Is she picking fights? Is she telling you about the trip? And the BIG one did she mention another guy. One of the krypton messages a chick will do is drop the “I meet this guy Mike blah blah blah.”
To my surprise, women will actually MENTION the guy they banged or liked in an effort to shield any future accusations.
So…if she is banging you for 3 weeks, she is still digging you. That’s all that matters.
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I wouldn’t be worried about it, besides taking the precaution to use a rubber. It’s not like I’m thinking of marrying the damn girl. She’s lucky I even let her take my protein shots in the face, worrying about her would be uncharacteristic of me.
The next time I took a trip though (very often) I wouldn’t invite her along and would make sure she didn’t come along even if she tried to invite herself.
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dude! omg! lozlzlz!!
hello! we’re in 2010 now, not 1986!!!
if you’re smart, you have a bull pen of five of the hottest hotties.
when she gets back, she is two weeks older and looser because of all the massive cocks that stretched her on her trip, and she is still dripping with semen.
there are younger, hotter, tighter girls out there who aren’t dripping with semen.
do you really want other men’s semen dripping all over your bed? hell no!
“she treats you like a king?” wat? who the f cares?
cooks you food? and makes you sandwhiches? so wat?
have you heard of microwaves & subway?
it cracks me up how you guys are trying to impose traditional roles on women in your fantasies.
have you heard of this thing called the feminist movement?
ALPHA MALE RULE #1: WHEN A WOMAN IS NOT IN BED GETTING THE JOB DONE, DO NOT THINK ABOUT HER.
She has a right to her life and body and all. lozlzl!
ALPHA MALE RULE #2: IF YOU SEE A WOMAN’S FACE IN DAYLIGHT, YOU ARE A BETA MALE.
ALPHA MALE RULE #3: ALWAYS LET WOMEN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT, AS THEN THEY CAN NEVER CALL THE POLICE ON YOU.
ALPHA MALE RULE #4: IF SHE GOES ON A TWO-WEEK TRIP, MULTIPLY THE NUMBER OF NIGHTS SHE IS AWAY BY 4. THAT IS HOW MANY COCKS SHE SAW & TOUCHED.
ALPHA MALE RULE #5: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER LET A WOMAN MAKE YOU SANDWHICHES AFTER SHE GETS BACK FROM A VACATION. IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE MAYO, BUT IT WAS THE SEMEN DRIPPING FROM HER MOUNT.
lzozlo!
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1. Don’t give a shit (inner).
2. Playfully tease her by mocking the accent or broken english of the guys that most likely railed her.
3. Keep #2 in your back pocket over the remaining course of the relationship and bust it out anytime you need a solid neg.
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do nothing and continue building your harem. a minute wasted on “what if” is chump behavior.
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ho-ass wale comments here now? jesus
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I agree with PA… two week sex trips are incompatible with marriage or long term arrangments. Any girl who is designated as such needs to be controlled enough that she does not go on such a trip. Otherwise she becomes a short term fling, but then again short term flings are easy enough to manage – when the sex stops being good, walk out – there is no real skill to that. Focused alphas break their long term GFs to the point where the thought of a trip alone somewhere would not even enter their heads. In this scenario it is most likely too late to salvage any long term – enjoy the good sex while it lasts and then get out.
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You realize that the general rule of women being unable to express “unbridled sexual lust and love for multiple men simultaneously” does not apply here. She was out of the country and did not have to see you on a daily basis.
A woman’s ability to compartmentalize her actions for future rationalization made the foreign knob she was polishing her “one man” at that time. Now that she’s back home and there’s no chance in hell she’ll ever see that foreign knob again, you are her man and the sole object of her desires.
Assume she tasted the local flavor, don’t waste your time snooping or obsessing, and fuck her real good until you’re done with her.
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She was sexually voracious before the trip, but it sounds like she got even better afterwards. Maybe she met some beta foreigner who made her appreciate me (unlikely, but possible). Maybe she is just sexually starved after actually staying faithful (more plausible). Or perhaps she’s feeling guilty about cheating (which sounds like what I’m supposed to believe).
If it’s guilt, the new her won’t last a week. If it’s sexual starvation, it won’t last a week. But some foreign beta might give me at least a month of that special love reserved for alpha cock, without fear that she has been physically unfaithful.
To differentiate between cheating and starvation, withot discouraging continued libidinous behavior, all I have to do is listen when she inevitably babbles about her trip. If she refers to any guy as “my friend ____” more than twice, she fucked him.
If she fucked him, then I just give her the hardest dicking I can, for as long as she puts out, then leave. Call up a backup.
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I wouldn’t worry too much about it, myself. As Ari pointed out, women tend to mention, often repeatedly, dudes that she’s allowing all up in those guts on the side. If she was mentioning another guy consistently it may warrant some snooping, otherwise I’m content to allow the good treatment to continue. I know I got something on the side while the cat was away, as Roissy put it.
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Be a lawyer about it. Where is the reasonable suspicion of cheating? Where is the probable cause for cheating?
All we have here is your hot girlfriend who went on a trip and came back, wanting to bang you and treat you like a king. As noted above, women are much worse cheaters than men. So, unless she’s a sociopath, there’s little chance that she could go on this trip, cheat on you, and then come back as googly-eyed and affectionate as ever. It’s just not in her DNA. And if it is, dump ASAP.
This aside, there is one thing that might incline me to the policy of trust, but verify. The way she introduced the trip sounded suspicious. You’ve been dating for months, but this is the first she mentions it? She could just be covering her bases by soliciting you for the trip, knowing full well that since you’re a player that by you saying no that you’re implicitly allowing South American hanky-panky. However, to get to this point of trust but verify, she would have to do something additionally suspicious, not contained in these facts.
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Ari Hinkelberger is correct. If she’s guilty, the generosity will be a short-term thing. Once she feels better about herself, she will stop. If she was legitimately happy to see you, then it will continue indefinitely until you betatize yourself.
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Business as usual – this all sounds fine to me. Giving her the cold shoulder (a la that recent post about not feeling like sex) once or twice might be in order to test her reaction and see if she works twice as hard to keep things good. But really, it’s not worth a whole Inspector Gadget routine to indulge your curiosity. If she’s a cheat, she’ll reveal her true colors soon enough.
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i can’t relate to this post at all. my “game” in this scenario would consist of drinking half a handle of Three Olives, watching the new Monday Night Wrestling Wars, and then turning on the xbox to work on my fifa and madden franchises. yeah yeah, and deep squats, existential fiction, progressive vocal trance music, and inconsequentially small-time day-trades.
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She’s showing over-compensation. No doubt she cheated but she’s feeling bad about it… time to convince her to do a threesome.
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lolzlz! i just realized why this post made no sense.
“You’ve been dating a girl for many months. ”
lzozlzl! omg! can one scream “looooooooooooooooooooozer” any louder?
think of all those nights u missed out on banging younger, hotter, fresher chicks.
& how the hell does she even know where your kitchen is so she can make you food? lzozll!
for that matter, why does she know where you live?
chicks have their own places now and it is soooooooooooo much easier to leave her place than it his to tell her it is time to go where she is likely to call the police. lzozl.
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TJ: “You don’t? How? On what grounds?”
My harem.
You are replaceable.
Anything less is beta. Anything less gives up “hand”.
*Oh* (palms forehead), that’s right… Roissy *IS* a beta. I just keep forgetting…
But, he’s trying *REAL HARD* to be alpha.
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Nothing to be done, you have to assume she cheated, use a condom for a while.
You will break up within a year or so, because you are an alpha and have options, so there is no risk of this hidden jealousy silently eating away at your soul through years of marriage.
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If you had to use the word “probably”, you are definitely wrong.
If not knowing bothers you, it’ll nag you until you scratch the itch, so you might as well nuke from orbit.
There is only one way to go with this: you break up with her. Cite “I need my space” reasons. Don’t even mention the trip, have her bring it up. She will, over and over, thinking the trip led to your decision.
The truth will out. If there are tears and screaming in a multi-hour drama-fest, she will admit any wrongdoings, guaranteed. Fuel with alcohol for added veritas goodness. People under fire think admitting their sins will lead to some instant karmic reward, in this case, forgiveness and a continuation of the relationship.
I doubt, based on the facts presented, that her response would be muted, since we assume she is into you.
My preference, though, is this:
If not knowing doesn’t bother you, then break up via text, and avoid wasting time. Or continue fucking her, but downgrade her to “just another bang”, with the required condom use for the cross-border pollinatrix.
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Maybe I am old-fashioned, but if I date a girl for months then trips alone to exotic loactions are NOT allowed. Trips with her friends which were planned in advance and stay in the country can be discussed. But she needs to understand that you view trips alone as cheating. There is no discussion of facts, no detective work, no lawyer work, no deep discussions, etc., afterwards. If she goes anyway, it’s like saying – I don’t fully respect you. And if she doesn’t fully respect you then it can only go downhill from there. Enjoy the sex while it lasts.
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I would ask her directly if she cheated on me on that trip. When she denies it I would get mad and scream at her. I would then break down and start crying in front of her and beg her to never leave me. I would then admit that I love her more than anything else in the universe.
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OMG!
WAHT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!?!?!?!??
why are you dating girls.
now that feminism has transformed chix into cum dumpsters, why r u dating them?
all the risk falls on good, loyal, honest men now.
all the reward goes to the pumpers and dumpers.
grow a set and stop dating girls!!!
women naturally detest those who try to date them, and love those who pump them and dump them, so your dating life will improve the moment you stop dating women.
lzolzl! isn’t it ironic. don’t you think?
lozlzl!!
the only reaosn one would marry these days is if one is a neocon savage, like jonah goldberg, who needs a beautiful wife to tame his neocon savagery. lzozl!
Jonah Goldberg’s Primal “Lord of The Flies Savagery” Tamed by His Beuatiful (lozl) Wife!!
By greatbooksformen
http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/jonah-goldbergs-primal-lord-of-the-flies-savagery-tamed-by-his-beuatiful-wife/
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This girl has red flags for eyeballs.
A female who thinks about what you will think of her takes along a straight-laced friend (the one whose face goes red when she lies). Are you sure she’s treating you like a king? I’m not so confident she
fearsloves you.Anyway, your quickest judgment of the truth is the only thing that matters. If you think she cheated and you let it slide, your brain hamster will eat a piece of your ego every day. If she didn’t bang someone on this trip, your weakened mind will encourage her to be bolder next time.
So enjoy the sandwiches, but use the energy you get from them to hunt for new game.
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that woman what? of course they do, and of course she did.
Do you care or not?
If you do care, dump her. Otherwise this will repeat and you will be raising someone elses baby eventually
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I don’t get this whole jealousy thing.
How can a night exposed to the fumbling of some foreign hopeful possibly do anything other than give her a sense of perspective?
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It is Un-American to convict with no proof of guilt.
However, the odds are probably 65% that something happened. Vacations are notorious. It’s the “I’ll never see these people again” syndrome and the feeling that you are in a different world.
Plus, did she not return with renewed zest for life? Something life affirming happened on that trip. Something that maybe she knows you wouldn’t like since she’s treating you like a king.
Wait and see. If you start accusing her of things, you suddenly become the bad guy.
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One of two things happen when a girl goes on a straycation. (1) She fucks another dude or multiple other dudes, and likes it more than she likes fucking you. She comes home talking about expanding her mind, meeting other people, and generally couching her lack of knee control in the language of half-assed existentialism. (2) She fucks another dude or multiple other dudes, and she realizes that you’re as good as she’s going to do. She comes home ready to marry you.
This test involves Scenario #2, so get ready for a big shit test: she’s going to start broaching the relationship status. The worst thing you can do is be so glad to have her around that you fall prey to the permanent relationship thing without making her regret fucking around. She may sincerely convince herself that, having sowed her oats on this trip, she has it “out of her system” and is ready to settle down. She’s not. She’s just sated for the time being and glad to have (what she thinks is) a beta boyfriend waiting for her return with a pot roast in the oven.
The fundamental rule of Game is the same as the fundamental rule of Economics: people value what is scarce. You have to let her know that if she chooses to forego fucking you, there are plenty of women out there willing to pick it up. This correlates to the fundamental rule of a stable relationship: fidelity depends on mutually assured destruction theory. The only way to make her really think twice about cheating on you is to make sure she knows you have a stable of women waiting for her to leave.
How to do this? You have to float the subject with JUST ENOUGH plausible deniability not to make it a thing. Say something like,
YOU: “Boy, you really missed me. I guess being around other people makes you appreciate us more, huh?”
HER: [It doesn’t matter what she says.]
YOU: “Me too.”
Message: I’ve got options, and I exercised a few last week. I choose you because I want to and not because I have to.
What if she didn’t cheat? Who cares. The point is to let her know that you’ll get laid if you even THINK she’s cheating on you. She’ll go out of her way to avoid even the appearance of cheating, lest you misread it and go nuclear.
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Until further notice, assume she banged someone but found him lacking in game/sexual prowess compared to you.
Pay attention to behavior, not rationalizations: most people are tired after a vacation and long flights, no matter how much they insist otherwise. If she wasn’t tired, likely it was post-coital glow. That means, technically, she cheated on you and isn’t a quality girl.
What to do? Wait for her mood to swing into a low-point. They always ebb-and-flow. The truth will be revealed in her moodiness. If the sex is hot and frequent even through a dark time for her, she worships your cock as much as you hope.
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Hmmm… I have a comment “awaiting moderation.”
It was a reply to:
TJ: “You don’t? How? On what grounds?”
(Let me try again… sorry if this ends up a repeat)
Simple:
1. My harem.
2. You are replaceable.
If she takes the trip anyway, then you’ve learned everything you need to know about her.
If you accept this behavior, then you have NOT overcome your betaness. You will have given her the upper hand.
If she comes back from the trip and finds that you’re not changing your stance then you *might* have made her teachable… take advantage of this if you can, but you have to play it just right. You cannot be seen as backtracking. The other girls in your harem will observe and learn, too. If you’re are consistent, then you will be rewarded.
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Bottom line, you will never ever know if she screwed around or not, unless you were to check up on her.
Remember, in her own mind, she didn’t cheat. It was how she felt at the time…..Gina tingle trumps any and all logic.
Having said that, we all know of the high likelihood of her having jumped on the exotic carousel while down there.
It comes down to what she is to you. If you think you can handle the pitfalls of a marriage in western civilization, then you had best know if you are trying to turn a ho into a housewife…..absolutely, check to see if she really did take advantage of that “opportunity”. If she did, then you have virtually no hope of making this a long-term girl, nor should you. Continue to make her your cum-dumpster while searching for new receptacles.
If, however, you have wisely chosen to only make her your slut for the year. Who the hell cares. Keep adding more floozies to the rolodex and forget about her trip.
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“She’s an adventurous girl who likes to travel to exotic lands. She’s also a sexually voracious girl. …
Afterwards, she makes soup for you and generally treats you like a king. In fact, over the next few days, you notice she’s bending over backwards to please you.
Hmmm.”
Let’s deal with the potential objection first: she’s so locked down that she wouldn’t ever cheat. Game can do this, no question. But a girl who is locked down experiences the emotional equivalent of wandering the Sahara if cut off from her man-god for more than a week. The chick in this scenario voluntarily ditches you for two weeks, apparently with no communication whatsoever. So she’s not locked down. If we needed any proof, the absence of tears on her return cinches it.
Her striking alteration in behavior on return should be familiar to readers of Sperm Wars. That extra glow is the subconscious frisson of excitement that fills a girl who’s setting alpha seed vs. seed at battle within her womb.
Adding in the sparse information we have about this woman’s character, the conclusion is that she almost certainly cheated. Now to the question: What does Game recommend? I would suggest:
1. Check her stuff surreptitiously. The priority is on not being caught, which would result in a massive loss of hand. This is just for educational purposes.
2. Downgrade her in your ho hierarchy. Cast her out among the slatternly, where there will be weeping as she’s used for relief.
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This whole scenario is bunk. There’s no way a women gets to a point where she considers me her “boyfriend” and then takes a two week trip abroad without me. Just doesn’t happen—I’d have her too well trained by then. This scenario just doesn’t pop up if you’re in a relationship, sufficiently alpha and your Game has been fairly tight. After you told her you couldn’t take the trip with her then—if your Game has been properly administered—I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that she would willingly forego the trip as well. If she doesn’t, then you should definitely reassess exactly what you think this “relationship” really is. And I think it’s perfectly reasonable to hit her with a kind of ultimatum at that point: you can take the trip, but I won’t be around when you get back…you have 15 minutes to make your mind up. Then walk away and don’t look back, after all you’ve been spitting a bit of Game on the side anyways and should have a fresh supply of pussy within short order—if you haven’t already been dipping on the side anyways.
Assuming you’re not really that serious then you can’t really prevent her from taking the trip—even though if your Game has been solid I think it’s even money that she does or doesn’t go without you. If she does go, it’s obvious that you are banging ass on the side while she’s gone. When she gets back and the situation is as Roissy described you can do one of two things:
1) Enjoy the sex & meal gravy train until it starts to run dry and then dump her. After all, you’re not serious, she was away for two weeks getting powerfucked in every conceivable orifice by foriegners carrying God only knows what STDs, and you have a supply of readily tapable poon waiting in the wings. If you’re not serious, why do you care enough to find out? This is what I would choose, btw—it’s low investment/risk, high yield.
2) If for some reason you do care even though you aren’t in a relationship, I’d go back to the bedrock of solid Game—push-pull. She’s been treating you like a king and no man is immune to the creeping betatization that can result from a woman artfully deploying her feminine wiles. But you should probably pull back a bit at times, remember what it is to be aloof. Don’t be so quick to validate her. See how she responds. She will most likely shit test so be ready for that—she might have questions about the relationship or where things are headed. And sure, it prolly won’t hurt to skim her texts/emails if you have access but I don’t think you’ll need to. I think time will tell on this one—the way in which she responds to your Game should tell the tale in due course. But really, you should just pick option #1.
That’s all I got—where did I go wrong?
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hey my comment is stuck in moderation—can it be freed? thanks.
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w/e – if she has options she’ll exercise them whereever, just like if you have options you’ll satisfy them. monogamy is bullshit.
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V:
I would ask her directly if she cheated on me on that trip. When she denies it I would get mad and scream at her. I would then break down and start crying in front of her and beg her to never leave me. I would then admit that I love her more than anything else in the universe.
lol. The funny part is this is probably what most of these tough guy commenters here would probably do in reality. Maybe not the crying but something close to this.
Anyway if the relationship was solid before the trip and the guy is an observant person you may be able notice subtle changes in her behavior. That slight glint of guilt in her eyes or tone of voice. Particularly when you’re talking about the details of the trip with her. There’ll be that pause or sound of her voice or eye movements or slight inconsistencies that’ll cause that primal brain lie detector alarm to go off, and then you get that deathly sick feeling in your stomach.
If that happens, she cheated.
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“She’s an adventurous girl who likes to travel to exotic lands. She’s also a sexually voracious girl. …
Afterwards, she makes soup for you and generally treats you like a king. In fact, over the next few days, you notice she’s bending over backwards to please you.
Hmmm.”
mmmmmm mmmm goood!!!
salty semen soup!! made from all the mm-mm-good creamy cum just now backflowing after numerous primal cocks battled it out to fertilize that one, lonely egg!!! lzozlzll!
eat up all you beta males!
go mmmm mmmmm good give me more give me more!!
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One thing I would NOT do upon her return is break into song:
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“The funny part is this is probably what most of these tough guy commenters here would probably do in reality.”
When people say crap like that this are they trying to imply they are intellectually superior, morally superior, tougher – or all of the above??
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just enjoy her sex and everything she is offering, you already know that the realtionship is gonna end one day so no need to worry about what she did on her trip…its not like you’re gonna marry her…spend you mental energy trying to improve your life and acquire wealth…
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When people say crap like that this are they trying to imply they are intellectually superior, morally superior, tougher – or all of the above??
All of the above.
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She definitely banged some guys while she was there which was cheating, but she is no longer cheating and feels she can make up for it by treating you so well. Not the worst situation to be in, but I would definitely start keeping some girls on the side.
Her calling you boyfriend is still not enough to be completely exclusive. However, that’s my mindset right now and someone who wants to just keep her around for a long time would think differently.
I would always be leary of a truly adventurous (most say they are, but really aren’t) and sexually voracious girl.
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“All of the above.”
I appreciate the honesty. I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic. I really wanted to know. The dynamics of comment discussions on the Internet interest me for some reason. If I was still in school I would make that part of my study. LOL
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All I can say is this: Roissy often talks about how awful D.C. women are. If guys in D.C. actually have reason to be paranoid in situations like this, he must be right. Therefore, my solution to this problem would be to move. Hypothetically, because so far I’ve avoided situations like this one by not living in D.C.
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The first failed test here was allowing her to lead the relationship with the vacation proposal and ultimatum (I’m going with or without you). He should have counter-proposed a different trip to somewhere he has been wanting to go and make it sound so much better than her vacation idea. On his vacation, instead of scuzzy hostels, they will stay in ‘charming’ lodgings and do adventurous and romantic things together. Forget about the expense of that proposal, he needs to pass this test. Plans can be changed later.
If she insists on going to SA alone, she is no longer LTR material. When she gets back, use her up and throw her out. A hotbody traveling alone from hostel to hostel would have to be the most chaste angel to resist the temptations surrounding her. This scenario obliterates her anti-slut defense shield (no one will ever know).
I disagree that a woman cannot compartmentalize and fuck other men when she is away from you. She will post-rationalize any number of “It just happened”s and still be amorous with you upon return.
Without a nano-cock-counter implanted in her, you cannot know with certainty how many cocks she has taken.
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All relationships are temporary. Even the one you have with yourself.
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MeMyselfI: If you’re Alpha, you don’t care whether she goes on the trip or not. Since you would stop her, you’re obviously Beta.
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A girl you’ve dated for “many months” and who had “planned this trip for many months” would have BEGGED, PLEADED, CAJOLED & PAID FOR YOU TO COME.
[editor: what if she did?]
BOTTOM LINE: She ain’t into you.
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Are Asian men really natural betas?
http://www.welaf.com/funny-picture-1137.html
p.s., all of you with comments in moderation look really silly when you comment about that fact, in retrospect.
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Inform her before the trip that when she returns there will be no sex between you and her for a month, and then she gets a blood test, in case she is bitten by a mosquito that bit another hiker and gave her a disease and she is a carrier.
She’ll offer to not go ont he trip if it makes you that uncomfortable. Express you have no discomfort and hope she has a great time on the trip, and to get lots of picture, and if it looks fun, you’ll join her next time.
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Thoughts:
Some smooth talking Lothario did indeed talk her out of her pants while she was taking her trip. He pushed the right buttons, got into those pants, pumped her, and then promptly dumped her…. being an American Woman this isn’t the first time that this has happened to her. In fact, it probably happened multiple times at this point in her life.
With those thoughts in mind, she spent the whole trip hking thinking of the number of times that it happened and the fact that she still single and desires all those wonderful things that only married life can bring- the house, family, nice car, husband (wage slave) and future alimony payments (like I said, she’s an American Woman).
Already having thought of you as a “boyfriend” before she left (aka long term relationship material) she has filled you into this role while she contemplating her post sex-act slut guilt. Basically- she’s filled you into the role of husband.
She’s playing “I want the Wedding Ring” game by being as affectionate as possible and giving up sex freely.
Whether or not the affection is genuinine or not is irrelevant.
Whether she cheated or not is irrelevant.
Snopping will do nothing but satisfy your curiosity- it dosen’t change the situation even slightly (unless you’re contemplating marriage- you fool) you’re getting all the sex and affection you want out of her. If you’re not interested in getting married just enjoy the affection and sex until she states her ultimatium- then dump her.
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What to do?
1. Assume she cheated. Don’t be fooled by her fawning. Women have an endless ability to rationalize whatever behavior they are engaged in. Her over the top behavior, to me, indicates guilt/attempt at a coverup. Her girlfriends probably coached her to act this way to cover up her slutting around.
2. If you snoop, it means on some level you care. Solution: Get more pussy on the side.
3. If you are a reader of this blog, you should already know that a woman who likes to travel is a slut who moved operations overseas (I’m quoting Roissy here)
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The most critical piece of information is left out Roissy.
Was she making extraordinary attempts to communicate to you while she was away? If the answer is yes then she was taking a ride on Antonio’s railroad.
Bonus clincher, if there were no e-mails throughout the first week because she was ‘hiking’ and couldn’t find an internet cafe, then all of a sudden 1 e-mail per day saying how she ‘can’t wait to get back’. She banging Antonio during that second week.
I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
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you don’t ask about the trip, or anything related, as if it doesn’t bother you. because it doesn’t.
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I agreed with most of what Confidunce had to say above. I would guess her sexual experiences on her trip did not measure up to yourself, which is why she is so happy to see you again. I also agree she will then begin to ratchet up the level of relationship commitment.
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“What do you do?”
Thank me for banging out your girl proper.
– MPM
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Thanks for the shout out Roissy.
I agree with nycbachelor’s assessment, either that or she met Roosh while she was down there and got ignored.
I would respond by being sparse with my validation of her actions, she is looking for something that only an a2m threeway will get her. Don’t get to cozy with the girl game sandwiches though, that will sink your ship.
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a.) S. America is not expensive at all, hence the hippie types that travel there.
b.) If she climaxes with you, she will not need to indulge the many stray dicks that offer their services to her.
c.) if you “fuck her like a champ” she will carry thoughts and blushes of only you. Every time she closes her eyes, she will see you. Men should seek to haunt their lady’s soul with the memories of their touch. That is what puts the right boundaries on her, not geography or permissions.
d.) thank you for acknowledging that most woman are not designed to be with more than one guy at a time.
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This makes me think back to scene from ‘Band of Brothers’ where a commander is explaining how he is able to operate without fear in the midst of battle. “Your problem private,” he explained, “is that you haven’t accepted the fact that you’re already dead.”
Well your problem soldier, is that you haven’t yet accepted the fact that your woman has already taken a parade of cocks in every oriface while your back was turned. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be able to game her and enjoy the fruits of your raltionship (and something on the side) without fear or guilt.
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You are in a difficult position because you didn’t set the frame properly.
Before she left, you should have asked, casually but looking her in the eye, “if you meet a hot guy, any chance you’ll sample the local cuisine?”
You would either get 1) something equivalent to “No way!” or 2) something equivalent to “Don’t you trust me?” or 3) something equivalent to “Maybe”.
Case 1: Push harder “I know how horny you get, are you really sure you’re strong enough to deny yourself for 2 weeks?” “Yes, I can”. “Yeah, right. You’ll be hot and sweaty and you’ll have your pick of hundreds of sexy Latin guys. Would you expect *me* not to cheat on *you* if I were in a situation like that?” “Of course I would!” (She has to say that because otherwise she’s giving you permission to screw around while she’s away.)
Now she might still cheat, but you at least got her to make a commitment, so that will reduce the chance of it happening, and if it does happen you’ve reframed it so that it will be about her inadequacy and not yours.
Case 2: When she says “Don’t you trust me” respond with “Why should I trust you”? Depending on her answer proceed to Case 1 or Case 3.
Case 3: When she says “Maybe” you say “That sounds like a ‘Yes’ to me. ‘Maybe’ I’ll still be around when you get back, but don’t count on it.” At this point don’t let her fall back into case 1, stand your ground so that she thinks the only way she can get your approval back is if she skips the trip. say there’s nothing further to discuss. Either
3a) she will go anyway, in which case you don’t answer her phone calls unless you are with another girl and you make sure she can hear the other girl, and when she comes back you ignore her unless she abases herself and grovels for at least 2 months, at which point if you choose to take her back you will have permanently gained the upper hand, or
3b) she will plead for you to come with her, you will be completely unmoved, and she cancels the trip (not pretends to cancel, actually returns the tickets and cancels the reservations). You have aced the shit test. EXTRA CREDIT You wait until the evening before she had been planning to leave (when her resentment and internal turmoil are peaking), and then tell her your previous commitments suddenly rescheduled and you’re able to go with her after all, she’d better pack right now. On the trip, she will be so profoundly into you that threesomes with other girls will become highly feasible (not just because she will do anything for you, but because her devotion and hotness will spark interest from other girls in the two of you).
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What the fuck is up with all the V’s? Fuck off cunts, I’m the original, you virgins.
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I don’t think she cheated.
If you say she’s doing hiking and things like that, my guess is she focused on Ecuador, Bolivia, and Peru. The gringo guys who go there are generally very young, dirtier and hippie-like without much game. Most look and smell homeless. Assuming this was an ambitious trip, she moved around quickly and wouldn’t have had the time or opportunity to forge a strong connection. Many single girls go to these countries and complain about the lack of “hot” guys to hook up with.
But let’s say she went to Rio or Buenos Aires. There it’s a different story and cheating opportunities will come nightly, as the guys there (both gringos and natives) tend to have much stronger game. In those poorer countries there is often not even a decent bar/club to go out at and talk. So she’s going to cheat after a conversation in a dirty hostel with a Frenchman who doesn’t wash his feet? Unlikely.
I’ve met a lot of girls who have bf’s in south america. The pattern is that the longer they’ve been away, the more likely they’ll cheat. But if your relationship is strong, two weeks is simply not enough time to pry her legs open.
The strong affection she’s showing you is not guilt—she simply missed you.
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Who cares? I am getting hot sex. Why waste a single mental energy over analyzing the minutae of her behaviour? The default thinking is this: all women cheats.
Just keep living your life, if she is there, she is there; if she isnt, she isnt. Why should you care one iota?
If you want to cheat on her, you cheat on her; if you dont want to cheat on her, you dont.
This is not worth a second thought. Heck, what is the point of this post anyways?
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Anybody think it would be a mistake to say, “Oh, btw, you’ll need to get an STD test when you come back” and then follow through?
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If, after a month or so, there is no change in her behavior, declare victory and soldier on – she was either faithful (i.e you won) or she was unfaithful but very happily and dedicatedly back with you (i.e. you won).
If things so noticably south after a month or so – there’s your answer (i.e. you didn’t win). If you want to snoop then, it’s up to you (as to whether you want to inform yourself of the competition or torture yourself).
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It seems like it would be in one’s interest to at least do a little bit of investigation/prying to figure out if she did cheat, only so that you could use it as future ammo when she finds out that you have been diddling on the side as well.
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The rules that govern to men apparently aren’t the same as women. She could be thrilled to return to American man. Also, sentences don’t really follow.
So by extension, if she really wants to go somewhere and you won’t go, she never gets to go?
[I’m asking, not snarking.]
How many of the men around here swearing up and down that women cheat on these vacations have any evidence of it? IMHO experience, women behave differently on a weekend trip to London or ClubMed than backpacking/hostels around places like SEAsia or SA or even Eastern Europe. You guys are acting like a vacation is 95% likely to lead to cheating; it is nowhere near that high for most women, especially in places with shared rooms and a population that may seem significantly lower status.
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A very wise and enigmatic sage by the name of Sigmund Freud once said that no mortal is ever able to keep a secret. If their lips are silent, they’ll chatter with fingertips; betrayal oozes out at every pore.
Guy’s spy because it’s an inborn biological trigger to be suspicious. Suspicion had species preservation value for us in our evolutionary past. We get off on the chemical rush that comes from discovering our parental investment (see monogamy) confidence has been betrayed. A Man’s reproductive methodology is scattershot – breed with the largest available pool of physically acceptable females. This methodology has to be sacrificed in order to facilitate a woman’s methodology of parental investment (i.e. extended monogamy). So with so much at stake from a biological perspective it serves a man’s interest to have an inborn “instinct” for identifying the prompts that trigger suspicion. Note that I didn’t use the word “Jealousy” this is entirely different from the biological, chemical rush that suspicion releases into a Man’s bloodstream. Once we confirm betrayal with one woman, we adapt and apply it to the next and repeat the cycle of that chemical rush. It’s the same fight-or-flight response we get in dangerous environments. In fact, just talking about it or relating common experiences is often enough to trigger it to a degree.
The reason for this is rooted in securing parental investment efforts. Studies have shown that Men (not women) are faster and better able to identify their own children in a crowd of uniformly dressed children. This is an unlearned, inborn ability. For a guy to pair off and mate with a woman he must abandon his breeding methods to accommodate hers. Biologically this is the biggest risk he can take. Forsake all other opportunities to invest in one.
My advice to guys with a desire to spy is, you will only find what you expect you will. In every instance I’ve been suspicious of a GF in my sexual past, my instinct was ALWAYS proven correct. But I focused on the opportunities they had and the mechanics of her cheating rather than the reasoning for it. In hindsight there were in fact many environmental prompts that subconsciously triggered that suspicion; inconsistencies in behavior, attitude, incongruencies with past behaviors, etc. All of which each woman attempted to carefully hide, but with time could not – the betrayal oozed out from them.
Of course we do our best to deny what our instincts are telling us. We repress it with rationales and we’re aided in doing so by feminine social conventions (shame & guilt) should we “snoop”, but in time all women are unable to hide the secret. At some point they WANT to be caught.
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Too much overanalysing. The answer is simple. If she goes on a exotic vacation without me, she is gone. No exceptions.
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What nycbachelor said.
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“You’ve been dating a girl for many months. She calls you boyfriend. You call her “dirty ho get on mah cooooock.””
You have to maintain this frame.
Beta temptations await you while you are apart.
You probably think it will maintain your bond to have frequent contact. Don’t do it. Be unavailable while she is away. Man logic thinks this will make her act out, but it will more likely paralyze her a bit w/ fears and paranoias of her own about your “vacation”.
Giving her reassuring contact makes her feel good and bold and she’s likely to build on that good feeling w/ the better feeling of new cock.
“She wants you to go with her”
If she’s sincere, then this is important and give her credit for it.
The question of whether she’s enjoying new cock is pretty theoretical. You’ve established that any woman will cheat if the conditions are right … over 2 weeks time, the conditions will be met.
Not to mention, any girl who took a trip to an exotic place will feel like a loser if she doesn’t get speared at least once.
Think of the New Years Eve imperative for girls to get fucked.
“You wonder if her generosity of spirit and openness of heart is prompted by guilt or by joy at seeing you after a long absence.”
Her capacity to feel guilt is a false premise. Enjoy her generosity of spirit. Even if a woman *should* feel guilt for her slutty behavior, she won’t. She may even treat you worse if she has reason to treat you better.
“So you conclude that your girlfriend’s strong sexual desire and genuine affection for you means you are still number one in her heart, and that she probably did not do anything while away from you, except dream about being back in your arms.”
You are still defacto number one, but you are now competing with the erotic memory of “Renaldo”. In the short term it will be important to be a more interesting, challenging figure in her life. Don’t let her compare predictable, available you to far away, fascinating Renaldo (lol since he was a simple tour guide).
Listen to me. She DID do something while away. Make sure you did too.
“You *could* snoop around her stuff and spend mental energy trying to discover if she had a fling, or you could forget about your unfounded suspicions and just enjoy her everflowing love.”
Don’t ever be this guy. Women are TERRIBLE at covering their tracks. You will find what you’re looking for, and most likely some additional domestic data that will trouble your insecure mind.
One last thing. She can’t feel like she got one over on you.
If you are strong in your frame and embrace reality, a tried and true method of dealing with this is to call her a “little slut” the next time you roger her. Caught up in the pleasure and freedom of the moment, she will cheerily say “I am a little slut” while you pound her from behind.
This is her confession.
She will be grateful that you are wiser than naive. Expect greater commitment from her even as yours lessens.
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Senor Roissy,I jus want to say,gracias senor! Your sweet little cumbucket really livened up my miserable hellish existence down here in Peru,where I live as a poverty stricken Indian,whose only joy in life is chewing on the coca leaf,and who sometimes makes a little money guiding the touristas. She swallowed my pole like Linda Lovelace and the things we did on my threadbare but vibrantly colored indian blanket-well,it makes me blush to think about it. “Who’s the chief,bitch!? “YOU are,YOU ARE!!!” Oh well gotta go. It has been three days since i last ate a meal,a week since my last bath,but I hear there are some touristas due in today. I only wish this annoying rash on my pistola would go away…
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What is the problem?
Should you marry this girl? Of course, not. As she is sexually permissive it is guaranteed she will divorce and ass rape her future husband. But if you have adopted the Way of the Alpha, you already know that it is stupid and beta to marry any girl. Why would any guy want to give the power of the State over their lives?
Anyway, if she is fun to fuck, continue on with the relationship. Of course, it goes without saying that you should have other girls on the side.
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1. Get myself tested. She psychologically tricked herself (made easier by the geographical distance) into thinking Fernando was her “main man” and doinked on him all the while she was down there. She returned and now feels guilty. She does not miss you, she is trying to apologize with all the favors.
2. Conditional on the results on #1, continue nailing her as the sex is good as well as enjoy the favors.
3. Enjoy the fixed asset I bought with the money I saved, probably an LCD projector.
4. Continue to diversify my portfolio.
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Let her go on the trip because you’re not going to do something you don’t want to do because of a woman’s actions.
When she comes back and is showering you with her love…enjoy it and take full advantage.
Do not snoop through her phone. That is something that a jealous man would do. Jealousy is a tool you use against women and a confident man with options will hardly ever feel jealous. Don’t ask very much about her trip and don’t try to figure out what happened through conversation. The fact that she may have cheated on you should not even be in your thoughts.
If you are the alpha male in her life…stay that way by doing whatever you want and making sure she knows she is not your priority. Always keep her chasing you and your time, and while you’re at it have some girls on the side. It’s good for you.
And if it comes out she did cheat…who cares. I would show a lack of emotion, and drop her as quick as I drop a flaky girl….That’s all the punishment you need to inflict and you can go about your business banging gangs of other women.
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Game saves lives.
A woman turned down a guy, and he beat her up.
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/11/nurse-beaten-in-midtown-bar/
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holing up in hostels along the way with musky scented hippies
——————————————————————–
I think more ‘adventurous’ women stay in hostels. Why would anyone want to be around smelly greasy haired hippies? So dirty! So eww!
Plus, her priorities are a little messed up. You are saving up for a big purchase, which sounds to me like some kind of big investment. House? Property? And she’s throwing her money away on a trip when in fact, if she really truly was in love she’d be thinking of saving up for her future, with you.
Kick her travellin’ pants to the curb and invest in the west! 😛
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that’s was me me me up there! oops!
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This is cute … Roissy’s autobiographical entry shows he actually h has feelings for this girl.
His “game” is slipping … oh no … maybe he will actually discover what a loving relationship is about. OMG!
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My last comment was a good account of how you (by “you” I am addressing Roissy’s fictional test case) *should* have handled the situation, but it’s too late, so the question is what do you do now?
Many of the comments avoid the main issue. FACTS MATTER. It really matters whether she didn’t cheat on you or whether she did. If she didn’t, then she missed you and has been showing it, and you should be rewarding her. If she did, you’ve got to avoid the fatal situation of her always knowing she got away with it and you never being sure — permanent beta status.
You need to go Sherlock on her. There are two ways to do this, by gathering clues surreptitiously or by talking to her. The first way preserves more of your options, so do that first. I won’t recommend specific detecto-moves since that’s off topic, but do everything you can without alerting her to reduce your uncertainty.
If there is no evidence whatsoever she cheated, next time the subject of her trip comes up, say “How many guys hit on you in 2 weeks? I’m guessing about 30.” She’ll respond with some number X — if X is 0 or 1 she is a cheater. Otherwise say “and if you didn’t have me back home, how many of them were actually attractive enough to have had a chance with you?” Her comfort level with the question will tell you if she cheated — if she didn’t, she’ll give the question a little thought and answer openly and honestly, if she did her answer will be either too quick or slow and awkward. If you still have no reason to be suspicious, give her a pass and never bring the subject up again, and tell her where you’re going on your next vacation without giving her any input into the matter (up to you whether you want her along or not). If she’s shown guilty signs, tell her she’s not a good liar, and drop the subject leaving her with the impression that you no longer care enough about her to make any drama out of it. Let her scramble to rectify the situation, the uncertainty of not knowing whether you actually think she cheated will be intolerbale to her both if she did and if she didn’t, so either way you’ll find out for sure.
If the above conversation resulted in her cheating becoming clear, ask her why you shouldn’t dump her right now, and if she doesn’t give you a really convincing reason, do it.
The other possibility was that your snooping turned up evidence, not necessarily conclusive, of her cheating. Even if it’s not conclusive, do the same thing as if it were — tell her you know she cheated on her vacation, and you’ve got proof (without revealing yet what the proof is). If she admits it, see previous paragraph. If she denies it and your evidence is truly conclusive, punt her immediately saying “I would have forgiven cheating but not lying” (say that even if you wouldn’t have forgiven cheating) and do not ever let her back in your life even if she abases herself and grovels. If your evidence was not conclusive, show it to her and demand she explain. If she’s innocent, she’ll move heaven and earth to prove it; you will coldly and objectively judge. If she confesses, punt her immediately etc.
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I haven’ read the other replies, but this is my take:
I hate to say it, but this posts reeks of insecurity (in the form of second thoughts).
Not good.
The moment you let her go, you decided that you don’t mind her fucking someone else. Now stick to your decision.
The reason she is so eager right now is that instinctively she knows that you gave her that freedom. In fact, if she hasn’t chocked herself on strange cock it probably is because you allowed her to do so. And she loves you for that. What is more alpha than not giving a shit? Any move backward will destroy what you built.
This ain’t easy if she really is that rare pearl among the trash. I would not want to be in your shoes. But there is only one right way of handling shit right now.
Swallow it. Time will heal all wounds.
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I’d log onto Battlenet for a three day marathon of Starcraft Beta play and reject all sandwiches. I’d also ramp up the verbal tics and roll with some heavy Assburger Syndrome.
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If she had a fling then it’s because something was lacking in her relationship with you anyway. Man up and take some of the blame.
At the end of the day as long as she didn’t bring back any unwanted presents between her legs then it doesn’t make one iota of difference whether she had an affair or not while she was gone. Or more importantly, it doesn’t matter whether you do or don’t care.
AA
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If she had a fling you have some of the blame? lol, thats a nice phrase to use myself… only its bullshit. everyone is responsible of him/herself
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There’d be a few late nights over the next few months where my phone ‘died’.
I doubt I’d do much else than cheat every now and again. Not much change in my behaviour around her.
And I wouldn’t have shacked up with this girl in the first place
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And when are you going to post the judging for your last Test of Game with the napkin?
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I think this is a case of post-coital glow. I assume that she’s somewhat faking enthusiasm for coming back to her boyfriend. In this situation, I would simply enjoy the moment but I’d cut ties the very instant her behavior deviates from loyal girlfriend to flaky bitch.
I had a similar situation happen in the reverse. I went to Latin America for a month and my ex acted extremely happy to see me on my return. She made me dinner for me for the first time ever and we had great sex that night. She goes on a trip of her own to a wedding 2 states away and dumps me on her consequent return 5 days later.
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you carry on as usual loving the sex and sandwitches for as long as it lasts, which won’t be too long. Then as it dies down, you begin to pull away maximising good behaviour from her(she will notice and up the ante). By now you should be sick of her shit, so throw aside all beta instincts and manipulitive intentions, the real reason you have been pulling away is so you can now find a new side project(or existing one) to transform into your main project.
Rotate the bitches, the bitch who went on holiday(girl A) is now your side project. Get some experience with someone else(girl B) see if their behaviour can impress you even more.
If Girl A has been gamed properly and buys your alpha cred she will be more than happy to be the girl on the side and bang you on occasion. If she doesn’t have that respect for you she may decline and insist on more time and commitment. In this case she probably views you as a sucker rather than a fucker.
Ditch her. If you can’t be her fucker, you definately shouldnt want to be her sucker.
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Let it go. Top Alphas should have multiple other options going anyway, so why worry? Take the primo fucking, leave the emotions behind.
Any gal who I’ve been dating for ‘many months’ should not be taking a solo straycation to cockistan anyway. I would never tell her she can’t – not a good way to establish dominance, she will go anyway and definitely fuck around if you do – but I’d make it subtly clear that taking said spoogeaway would result in a negative outcome for our relationship.
Vacation happens together, where I want to go. Period.
Plenty of other girls on the girl tree. Remember: you play around, she doesn’t. Alpha Ground Rule #1
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@Jose Guadolupe Rodrigo Maria Gonzalez
Haha, nice one.
I don’t know when greatbooksformen started posting here, but he can please go away?
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new cam’ron ft. vado, “amber lamps”
http://www.thehoodnerd.com/camron-amber-lamps-feat-vado/
this is my new summer anthem even though it is quite terrible
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I was always under the assumption these PUAs left their insecurities at the door when they entered the game room. It achieves nothing. You people need to build alpha from the inside out. Me and roissy have a different idea of Alpha:
To me Alpha is any guy whos satisfied, or getting as much pussy as he wants. Or simply put happy.
A buddhist monk can be just as alpha if he is truly happy and not burdened with bitterness and insecurity towards women.
Nothing worse than to be getting that begrudging pussy that racks your brains. That mind fuck sex only a relationship will get you. Remember, shes an american chick!! duh!! shes been getting all manner of dick since she was 14, and thinks its ok!! who cares if she added 1 more cock over the holidays, you need to be cold as ice. I used to be a fucking state when i was in relationships. Now im as cold and efficient as the day i aced my finals, the times i was selling drugs to get by, and as cool and calm as i am when i do my monotonous 9-5 job. It’s all business to me, and im in the happyness business.
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Polymath, facts don’t matter for your response.
If you find conclusive evidence that she cheated and you’re the type who cared to know in the first place, you’ll dump her.
If you find inconclusive evidence (which will happen in nearly all scenarios), all you’ll have is your initial gut reaction and some “did she take too long to answer that question?” squishiness. Your follow up inquiries will never silence your gut, and a bad gut messes with your state, so you’ve got to get rid of her.
On the other hand, maybe you didn’t get any bad news from your gut or you’re the type of guy who really doesn’t care. Then keep her regardless of the truth!
Either way, it’s your mental that matters, not the veritas of the outside world.
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Polymath seems to know what’s up.
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omg i set my blog up yesterday and it’s gotten like over 1,000 views. lozlz!
http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/jonah-goldbergs-primal-lord-of-the-flies-savagery-tamed-by-his-beuatiful-wife/
i would syndicate it to the huffington post for $500,000/post if anyone knows arianna let her know lozlzl!
one of the funny things is that every word out of goldberg’s mouth is designed to grow the government, whether through preemptive wars on foreign shores or feminism, which is a preemptive war launched against men, families, women, and children, based on the false fact that men are as generally debauched as noah goldberg is on a general night.
note how the neocon uses various methods to a) excpand power and b) create fiat debt into physical property and wealth.
in feminism they train women to transfer wealth from men to the fiat empire, based on jonh goldberg’s premise that all men are evil as he is, and that without his beuatiful (lozlzl) sife, he would be rockin out every night with his neocon cock out (his neocock! lozlzl!)
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Um, why are you in this situation?
She is a woman. Assume she cheated. You should be sleeping around on her.
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Didn’t hold my attention more than a few lines. IMO that qualifies my game passing with flying colours.
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My take :
– While she is away for two weeks, make every effort to chat up at least one more girl, possibly two, and get something going. PREPARE TO DUMP HER AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE
– Get into her computer when she’s not looking, check for any stray emails. This will show if she’s going steady with any of these Lothario chumps
– Do something independent, like taking yoga classes where she knows you will be with a room full of bendy, hot women
– Call her from a public phone box or Skype and say, “This is [insert common name] from [country where she went]. Remember our time together?” If she does anything other than be indignant -> she sucked cocks on vacation
– Just after sex, hold her tenderly once, and give her a deep, loving look, and say “I want to be with you forever”. If you were good, and she doesn’t become emotional, she probably sucked cocks on vacation.
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Her behaviour sounds to me like she flirted with another guy, maybe led him on a bit but didn’t go any further.
She’s feeling pleased with herself that she can temporarily escape the leash of addiction to her alpha ..well delude herself anyway.
But she doesn’t want to as she’s back making you food and servicing your cock.
If you wear the pants in the relationship and she’s glowing and happy, she didn’t fuck anyone.
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So many commenters still don’t get it. This is Relationship Game, not PUA game. Stop evading the question by assuming Hypothetical Guy is a player with plenty of other options just as desirable to him as Vacation Girl. The stakes are higher here, and there’s no excuse for putting blinders on yourself.
The two possibilities (she didn’t cheat and is showing how much she missed you and deserves to be rewarded, or she did cheat and thinks she’s gotten away with betafying you and needs to be put in her place or dumped) are so incompatible that there is no response that is not very suboptimal for at least one of the two scenarios. So value of information is high and you should make significant efforts to obtain it.
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I like Jens Fiederer’s question.
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Pop out for a week, make no contact, don’t answer her calls. Then return, offer no explanation, and move on.
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@PA: “If I weren’t interested in marrying her eventually, I’d let sleeping dogs lie. If I had been at some point, I think the fact that she went on a trip alone so many months into the relatinship would have been a marriage deal-breaker (though I’d still keep her as a girlfriend if I was otherwise happy with her.)”
PA for the win. Seriously; unless she gives you the crabs or something, why would anyone give a shit? If you were thinking about shacking up with her, that’s a different story, but if you’re just having fun, it shouldn’t matter. Rooting through girls emails or whatever is pretty weak behavior.
I’d go a step farther though: any woman who vacations in Latin America (assuming she’s not from there) is kind of an imbecile. I have yet to meet an exception. It’s such a SWPL thing, wanting to experience all the “authentic culture” of smelly indians -you can be virtually certain she’s also a recycling, prius driving obamaniac, and so, severely mentally challenged in my book. So, not only would I not consider her for “very long term,” I’d consider her a sort of short bus rider.
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polymath
i’m just a little excited for roissy to fail your MIT ass
you’re going to get a reamin’ sum
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Plan your own trip. Act serious about it. Tell her you’re going to go down to South America to hang out with Roosh and he only has accomodations for one. Bring home travel pamphlets.
“You’re cool with that, right?”
Over the next two weeks, measure her responses. If she banged another guy, she won’t initially say “well, what will you do if another guy hits on you?”, but she’ll say it eventually. Proceed from there in determining what cocks she did or did not have in her various orifices on her trip.
This may seem a little passive-aggressive, but she has a position of power due to the fact that she went on a 2 week trip in the first place.
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I’ve read all the responses and I think Tyler has the best take on the situation.
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CanCan,
I look forward to learning from Roissy’s feedback. In this domain he is many levels ahead of me. But as an expert in several related fields, I think I bring a few genuinely applicable insights of my own to the game.
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Approach her face to face and ask her point-blank if she had sex on her trip. Watch her closely, keep eye contact, and pay attention to her mannerisms.
If she did, and she is honest, she probably has no respect for you, and wouldn’t be fucking you anyway.
If she did not, and you have no doubt in your mind that she is telling the truth, she stays in her current spot of number one until you get bored with her.
If she did, but you have any kind of hint that she is lying to you, she automatically drops a few notches down on the roster as you continue to see other women and shift your attention towards more worthy prospects.
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@polymath. Yeah but why get so worked up about this trip to south america. I personally would probably expect her not to go, but failing that If you’re pranging out about the fact shes been away for 2 weeks you might as well end it there and count her out on her cock number alone. I think you’re caught on your own ego. The likeness to cheat isn’t just dependant on your alphaness, it’s more based on her general promiscuity. A slut will always stray when away whatever dick is sitting back in america waiting for her. Stop taking the cheating as an insult or outcome totally dependant on you.
If you’re seriously worried about this chances are you know shes the kind of girl to fuck around, and if going on this trip whilst single would hit double digit cock counts. Ditch her on her on her cock count alone. Im not sure theres anyway you could know what happened so you’re left with the choice to either dump her for going on holiday in the first place. or don’t. Whatever you do don’t make your own life and mind a misery. just enjoy the sex.
shes not wifey material. If she was, she’d WANT you to go, or cancel the trip. she can make all the sandwitches she wants but she failed when it matters.
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In my opinion I would assume the worst and be prepared to walk if need be, there really isn’t anything else you could do.
Whether you want to admit it or not you should assume she did cheat because in all essence she might have. If the woman came back and was spending quality time with me, making me food and letting me blow massive loads inside her I’ll pretend that she may or may not have slept with another guy, but in the back of my mind I’ll be prepared to punish her by leaving if she ever cops to it.
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Some of you boys are so silly.
I have a boyfriend, and because of circumstances very similar to the scenario described, I frequently travel alone.
If anything, when visiting strange places by myself – especially foreign countries – I’m especially cautious of other men and generally avoid time alone with them. Even if they do have an accent and are super cute.
I’ve spent nights alone in hostels wondering if HE was at home fucking someone else because I left home for so long without him; I think about him, I miss him. I often return with a new appreciation of how much I enjoy having my man with me.
Not “letting” your girlfriend do something by herself when it was your choice not to join her is controlling bullshit and a sign of insecurity. I would end up fucking someone else who “allowed” me some freedom and time to wonder what their cock is up to.
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Why should you care? Did she come back broken? No she came back better than ever from your point of view. So what if she was spending time with a variety of French, Chez and Polish sausages, she is acting better than when she left. As long as she is not got some sort of sickness.
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Distance from her for a while. While I fuck other girl, she will suspect I know something and make a mistake revealing herself.
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If she had a fling then it’s because something was lacking in her relationship with you anyway. Man up and take some of the blame.
There’s some truth to that. PA alluded to that as well. the fact that she went on that trip alone is worth a raised eye brow. By leaving her man behind and putting herself into the emotional danger of temptation, she showed a little bit too much egotism for my tastes.
Be as it may, what is worth pointing out: I have never seen such consensus in the comment section of this blog. The only right thing to do at this point is to stop thinking about it.
I’d go a step farther though: any woman who vacations in Latin America (assuming she’s not from there) is kind of an imbecile.
True, except if she went there to see the rain forest. It’s a sign of intelligence to go check out the wonders of this planet during the limited amount of time that is given to you. Anyone who has never been exposed to tropical flora and fauna doesn’t know what he is missing. I would not want to die without having had that experience.
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I concur that women will generally henpeck their guy if they’ve met someone else who gives the tingle. Recalling the alpha rule though, a guy should always be ready to walk. Thinking of the scenario where your girl gets digits from a celebrity, where you assume she’s cheating, I’d consider that.
The lack of henpecking is a good sign. If she’d met someone who she was attracted to, then there’d be that, but what if she placed you in the dick sandwich and you were the winner? Should you still cut her loose or be happy that this solidified your relationship? The problem is sniffing out the, “I got drunk and made out with Sergio in Paraguay,” scenario.
R is afraid to rock the boat with an accusation or to investigate and lose his smoochie-woo. I dunno, as a greater-beta, lesser-alpha, I guess I’d also assume she’s a loyal girl happily traveling abroad. Relationship Alpha game guy should have probably broken up before the trip as it’s all the same, assume the cheat and assume that she’s not the one anyway.
Now? alpha relationship guy has no proof. So, he can fake-dump to provoke a confession or leave clues around that some chick was trying to swoop you, if not actually swooped you to reestablish higher value.
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tell her no sex until she confesses – acting like you are convinced she has strayed
then see what she does
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> any woman who vacations in Latin America (assuming she’s
> not from there) is kind of an imbecile.
Excuse me? It so happens my oldest son’s LTR is going there this summer (he has chosen to go with and help). It’s an odd sort of vacation (helping to set up a new medical clinic), but given that she is going into medicine it kind of makes sense.
Seems to me like a pretty cool adventure for the young man, too.
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She fucked someone else on that trip. I don’t know how many girls I have fucked who then went back to their boyfriends or husbands and showered them guilt-ridden sex and attention. It does not last though and within a few months I am fucking them again and their contempt for their groveling boyfriends or husbands only grows deeper and deeper until finally they end things, one way or the other.
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No matter what my options as a man, I’d like to find out if she cheated in lieu of protecting myself from a potential risk of STDs. Knowing what we know about gringa straycation specials, this ain’t just paranoia.
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“True, except if she went there to see the rain forest.”
lol.
do you mean a forest of dicks raining splooge on her?
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CJ,
*Not “letting” your girlfriend do something by herself when it was your choice not to join her is controlling bullshit and a sign of insecurity. *
Completely agree. No need to give her a hard time about going if you don’t want to. The only thing you do need to do is clearly communicate your expectation that she won’t screw another man while she’s away, but otherwise you want her to “have a great time”. My pre-trip recommendation above was to give her shit only if she refused to acknowledge this expectation.
And once she comes back, again, treat her like a person whose loyalty you are secure of; but if you have a reason to doubt it, verify. (My post-trip recommendation above was premised on the pre-trip recommendation having been ignored, so that there was real doubt about her loyalty.)
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For me it would all depend on my feelings for the chick. If she was just a fuck buddy then I wouldn’t care. If she were a chick that I cared about then I would’ve cut her loose the minute she said she was going without me.
A few years ago I was dating a girl for a little over a year when she told me she was going on a seven day cruise with two of her girlfriends who were both notoriously promiscuous. We ended up getting in to a huge fight over it and I ended the relationship.
Quality women don’t do this kind of shit.
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turn your phone off for a weekend, when she calls you monday in panic, ask her “is there anything you want to tell me?”
gauge her response
get her to think it without saying it
prod her emotions.
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@schwanson, i’ll agree with you there. I’d be strapping it up in the first place with any non virgin though. I aint no fool.
I lost my virginity to a virgin girl, i know what its like to fuck with total abandon with regard to STDs. It hasn’t been appropriate since.
I think if a girl fucks around and goes the new age feminist route of relations, she should accept being dealt with clinically by men. That means routine Std tests, condoms etc constantly, no let up. Trust is a word thrown around too conveniently these days by sluts. Bitches used to earn their trust by being virgins and staying in the kitchen. Trust don’t really come into it when you know where someone is night and day. Its everymans entitlement to believe nowadays that if she isn’t there fucking them, shes fucking someone else.
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@the realist. Read the opening line – “You’ve been dating a girl for many months. She calls you boyfriend.”
Most guys start rawdogging soon into the second month. And strapping on right after she returns from a trip alone may actually backfire.
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bro im a hyperchondriac, i don’t be fucking around with that shit. id rather whack off then catch some shit, if im rawdogging the woman i need a reason, probably that i estimate shes more worthy than other women. Maybe the holiday would conflict with that, but unless im going with her and fucking her myself. I either “trust” her or i don’t. Most of the ladies i roll with would rather be here fucking me than in south america with short smelly foreign people, and i’d probably take offense at her fucking off for 2 weeks. But implying cheating or even obsessing about it just defeats you from the start, take it what it is and keep moving.
Im a typical sleazebag, i ride on looks and the direct approach, im under no illusions of the type of women i attract, some of them are so slutty i don’t even want to fuck them for my own peace of mind. I don’t even come close to a date with a girl that isn’t very much above that standard, and for that i have my judgement alone.
I say im out on this girl the second she decides to go. it ended when she got on the plane and im pissed i wasted time on her. Time for rotation.
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Next time you penetrate her, pull out and smell the juices on fingers or otherwise, “That’s weird, why does it smell like (generic food from the country she went to). Do they dip their cocks in (that generic food)-sauce before they bang the tourists?”
Also next time in her, “Feels loose. I didn’t know they had black guys in (country she went to). Was it a black dude or did they double up? Seriously.”
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I’m glad to see at least a nod toward concern about STD’s on this site. That is the primary reason why you care if she cheats, or why you don’t cheat in the first place. If you cheat on someone and they don’t know it, you are now having non-consensual sex with them. Presumably if they did know you cheated they wouldn’t have sex with you, well, there’s another word for non-consensual sex.
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how beta is talking to your girl about black guys cocks ahaha
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zanzibar sounds more like hes trying to convince his girlfriend to fuk the whole of south america and africa
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hopefully it was a joke
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then went back to their boyfriends or husbands and showered them guilt-ridden sex and attention
And how do you know that? In my experience, women don’t experience any guilt when cheating. The reality is much more like roissy described in yesterday’s post.
do you mean a forest of dicks raining splooge on her?
My point was pretty much the same as Roosh’s. Things are different if she went to a beach resort at the Caribbean coast or to a lodge near Arenal volcano.
The other message was that any man who wants to get more out of his life should put his Xbox, blogs, work and even women aside for a while and go see what this planet has to offer.
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Herpes and warts is the side of game that only Tucker Max will admit to. If you sleep with enough women, even with condoms, you will eventually get those lovelies. A guy who says condoms have protected him against those things and that he’s slept with a lot of women is lying about one of the two.
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If you’re in a relationship you care about and she goes off on a two-week fun vacation without you — the relationship’s broken. One of you, or possibly both, don’t care enough about the other. End it.
If you’re not in a relationship you care about, then put that condom on and enjoy the guilt sex. Time to reality-test everything you’ve seen in Japanese porn cartoons.
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Her function is to provide me with orgasms and worship me like the living God I am. She is fulfilling her function, case closed. What matters is my reality. Her actions when outside my sphere of influence are irrelevant, until and unless they impinge on my reality. The only concern here is whether she brought an STD back with her from her trip. As I would not be raw dogging her at all if she was the sort to take those risks, I am not overly concerned.
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@ Gary, iv’e know guys who didn’t even roll that deep in the game and got nasty STDs. Its a shame seeing nice guys get nasty shit for a bit of used up pussy.
I don’t know if its hyperchondria or OCD but i have serious phobia of this shit, i can’t bring myself to touch some of whats on offer. Don’t think i’d want to date anyone whos ever had an STD, implies they’ve been fucking the wrong people and none of that shit needs to be my problem. Iv’e stayed clean and i’d consider myself an attractive high risk of STD male, so if i can do it through modesty, good judgement and taking care, its the very least i expect of my woman to be STD free until she reaches me.
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Gary:
Too true. Condoms only cut the herpes transmission rate by 50%.
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This is about a LTR, right? This is a no brainer.
I think the guy should just leave her as soon as it is convenient. No further investment in her is reasonable.
I know girls like this. Stupid twits who have a high opinion of themselves. She is doing you a favor by telegraphing what she thinks of you.
Who cares if she cheated. She went there to have the chance to cheat. Maybe circumstances conspired to prevent her. No matter.
Any girl who wants the adventure of a solo trip can have it. Over and over.
Having sex with her just once after her return without a thorough check for STD’s is stunningly stupid.
If you are reluctant to dump this sort of chick, you have to do some serious soul searching.
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I don’t let it get to me. She’s only a third of my fiefdom.
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heck iv’e even taken to internet sex, find some bitches i know on the MSN messenger literally all of them wanna see my dick and see me cum like im hot shit makes me feel like a god. Now obv i either know these girls personally or i always insist on seeing their cam so i see its actually a female and i see their reaction, then they all just get into it like they’ve never seen a dick before. Then they’re telling me to go over there fuck them sometime. Im gone at this point. Showin my dick to the next girl instead i need to bust now not catch STDs or babies haha. truthfully i’d rather be there fucking them, but would I? too many bitches are impressed simply by the sight of my dick these days. somethings wrong if i can pull my dick on these women and then instead of calling the fedz they want to suck me off. I can pretty much rely on it in certain situations, but its the catch 22 if you can get the girl that easily then BACK AWAY now.
Sometimes i just think its better than going out and getting with some ho, no risk. maybe i got problems but its better to be safe than sorry. I used to fuck around coz i thought there was something special about me and it was a talent, and that i should get the experience to be a man. Then i realised they were all at it. What got me is one night at uni a buddy pointed out a girl and was like yeh she lives in our hall shes had chlamydia and herpe for like 6 months, later on she comes over by total concidence giving me eyes and trying to chat to me. Well i had none of it, but had that guy not been there givin me random info that seemed pretty irrelevant i would have fucked her brains out. Then i used my common sense and i satisfy my high sex drive every which way i can without fucking a slut. Guys like me in islamic society must end up suicide bombers coz they get promised so many virgins in heaven!!
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Afterwards, she makes soup for you and generally treats you like a king. In fact, over the next few days, you notice she’s bending over backwards to please you.
Shes pregnant to a foriegn alpha and is trying to cockhuld you….
You should have cancelled the lease and moved out while she was away. (if you are stupid enough to co-habitate)
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(my first comment — I’ve been reading for > 1 year, but this is the first time that I’ve felt compelled to post)
Do nothing. Enjoy her warm, wet holes for now, but it’s time need to move on to other women.
The second she gets on the plane alone, it’s already over. There is zero chance that any girlfriend of mine would take this trip alone. Zero — and by her own choice.
I am the opposite of controlling — she is free to do as she pleases, anytime. I would never tell her not to go — I’d say, “Do what makes you happy.”
But she must understand, who will service my cock while she’s away? And if I am truly the man of her life, then she wouldn’t even want to go — she would not be able to bear being away from me for more than a day or two.
And forget about her actually having sexual relations with another guy — I’d dump her for much less. Puhlease, the second I see her just batting her eyelashes in a flirtatious way with another man, she’s done. No argument, no discussion, just leave — I’m too busy to see you anymore. No explanations given. Next! Onwards and upwards.
I am the prize. She is not. I am the real deal — an incredible prize. I’m 35 yrs old, good looking, and very successful. She is like a damaged ball at the driving range: toss her aside, reach down into the bucket and pick-up a new one. Tee up!
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If you love the girl but can’t/won’t travel with her on her schedule, the obvious(?!) solution to get her to nix the trip is to plan another trip with her–it’s only two weeks, you cheap, provincial bastards–on a schedule that works for both of you.
If she refuses, you probably weren’t that close to begin with so might as well take the L.
If you just hate everything she has planned while abroad (hostel, hiking) and she won’t compromise, you are probably not that compatible anyway. Take the L.
OR, lose the insecure jealousy that eats you up inside, trust your woman and let the rambler ramble…
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greatbooksformen: you’re a moron.
If everythings gravy, why stir the pot.
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anise you miss the point
why should a man have a “relationship” with a woman (as opposed to just fucking her and leaving) who doesn’t make him the number one priority?
that’s what this is about–it’s not really about the woman at all, but men getting the right attitude to dominate and maintain the upper hand in ALL his dealings, basically, it’s about being a man
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dana — Sorry but “many months” is not a LTR outside of the smut circles some of you all move in, nor is it enough of an investment time-wise to allow uncompromising control over what a woman does in her free time, esp w/re to something she may have been planning for years.
Why make such a big, butt-hurt production over two measly weeks? CJ & Roosh already testified as to the more likely reality of such scenarios. Let it go, or let her go. But not all who travel are skanks. Trust.
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“unbridled sexual lust and love for multiple men simultaneously”
No way, this is just fantasy. Women can very easily bang some dude for short time and rationalize it away.
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the realist, why not insist on a full STD check before going beyond fingering ‘n fondling? It kind of rules out one night stands, but same night sex is rarely that great anyway (probably because same night sex is usually drunk sex).
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OT, But I had to share this. Driving home from work I saw the ultimate herb bumper sticker, on the back of a pickup, no less:
Men Who Change Diapers Change the World!
Oh, the humanity…
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Polymath fails from the start.
The very first thing he says to do is to question her about cheating–before she’s even left for the trip! This is insecure. Insecurity is the pinnacle of beta characteristics.
You should be comfortable enough with yourself and your relationship to let her go. If she’s willing to cheat on you, then she’s not LTR material anyway. The hard part is figuring out if she did. I think you just have to go with your gut after carefully observing her.
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upon further reflection, I did miss the point. Trip has already happened? Then the correct answer is “forget about your unfounded suspicions and just enjoy her everflowing love.”
hahahaha @ the alternatives. Did you really need to ask?
so cute.
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anise, its not about the length of the relationship, more about the quality of the girl. Its a judgement i make, for instance whilst id fuck most girls, i only get romantic feelings for certain types. I rely on gauging a womans value pretty quickly from the moment i meet her, im testing her for holes and susceptabilities as well as a unique connection.
Sounds corny but i can tell when a woman loves me for me rather then any of my attributes that make me better than her. I can tell when im in the presence of a woman who is excited by my looks, style and most important feels she deserves me and wouldn’t settle for anything less.
No amount of months, will make a girl any girl less of a slut or lower her cock count. some things don’t change. Also you’re talking about relationships as if they get better with time. Not so, what do you think all this game shit is about. If shes acting up now when she should admire you the most in the initial attractive stages of the relationship, shes only going to be more defiant as the relationship continues. If you’re taking the relationship seriously then you should feel insulted shes going to be missing a part of that stage. For me, the holiday would kill the spark for me. The action i’d be getting while she was away would probably take my mind off things a little too well.
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So hopefully by now you’ve let what I said marinate and you’ve come to accept the fact that your lovely girlfriend has already had every oriface of her soft, supple, feminine body invaded by the throbbing veiny mastadonic cocks of whole host of other men on the placid moonlit shores of Lake Titticaca…several times. Now for the solution…
There’s no need to dump her at this point. That she’s treating so well shows that she still values you very highly. If anything her behavior suggests that she was worried about you hooking up with another chicks in her absence (as she very well should be).
When she asks what you did while she was away say something like “I went out to (insert name of trendy club/bar known for hot sluts). I had such a blast.” This alone should put her on edge. For added effect mention how you ran into an attractive female friend that she doesn’t like or trust, hung out with her, and reiterate how much fun you had.
At first she might be a little salty, but if she has half a brain she’ll see right through your transparent attempts to incite jealousy and recognize them as the passive aggressive retaliation for her leaving you alone that they are (she’ll still feel insecure and jealous). She’ll then say something like, “awww, you really missed me, huh?” To which you reply by looking away and grunting a gruff affirmation. After this I guarantee that any attention and affection she’s been lavishing on you will double for a week or so, and any time she’s away she’ll be too worried about what you’re up to to feel comfortable in the company of another man.
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Before I started using escorts at my current levels, married/ attached women were my main source of entertainment. My latest post is based on some of those experiences..
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1-Go through her shit.
2-Check up and write down any “odd behavior” on the Red Flag Journal.
3-Check the dates on you email, voicemail, text to see how frequently she contacted you.
–3a- Who initiated contact???? You or her?
–3b- Who ended the call/text/email? You or her?
4-Check her Facebook/Myspace/Twitter.
–4a- Is she mentioning how much longer she has before she gets back?
–4b- What is the chit-chat between her & her female friends.
p.s How the FUCK do you not know if your woman came or not???? Its been “months”, you should at least have a 80% certainty rate in case she is faking???
p.s.s Why in the hell would she be eager to go away? She should be DREADFUL that you are a “freeman” while she is away?
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When a woman finds that a man has been slithering through her things, spying and snooping for evidence she’s been cheating, when in fact she has been doing no such thing, when in fact she has not even been giving thought to it; that man is instantly omega. Toxic. He is dead to her.
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interesting how many comments here amount to giving Roissy a blowjob. a forum of faggots, if you think about it.
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awesome!!!
military wife calls out bill kristol. lzollzlzlz!
lozlzl! “Last week on a C-Span morning call-in show, a military wife took issue with William Kristol’s disconnect from the personal strains of military families. Kristol was… ”
the neocons basically desouled women and sent them after us, to pick our pockets, rape our asssets, and sezie our chcildren and raise them all fucked up so that the fatherless kids are 100% loyal to the neocon’s fiat STATE. lzozllz!
i was just talking to jonah goldberg and he told me the neocon’s plan:
1) promote capitalism and the free market, but then, behind the scenes,, print all teh money and put everyone in massive debt! lozlzl! get it? as money can buy everything, the best way to transfer all the risks to men and the rewards to the fiat masters is to print the money via an unconstitutional banking cartel known as the federal reserve. lozlzlz! preach free markets, but then control one half of every transaction–by counterfeiting MONEY. lzozlzllzlzlzl!
2) use the feminist movement to conceal the federal reserve. icounterfeiting money all for the greater good of women and children! lozlzl! wire vast sums of money to women in universities to teach other women how to hate on men in women’s studies courses, lure them into marriage, and ass rape them in divorce court, thusly transferring vast sums of wealth to team goldberg. lzozlzl! after all, a fiat dollar is just debt, and jonah’s gotta make a living to feed his fat, cherubic face.
3) come out against men and exalt women saying tghat women alone can civilize men, like jonah just did at the national review, while sending men to die in the neocon’s unconstitutional wars on foreign shores. lzozlozl!!! totally ignoe teh great books and classics which show that women must first be civilized by men, so that they can in turn civilize other men, under the rule of a strong fatehr figure who keeps the douchebags away with a shotgun.. lzozolzlzlzl!
see? teh fiat masters are brilliant. by playing both sides–by sending men to foreign countries to kill civilians and extend feminism and neocon butthex/tucker max porn (whcih charlotte allen dutifully salutes) so as to break up iraqi families in western divorce courts to get the irqi men working for the fed; and then, by also coming out against the barbarity of men who jonah et al. are sending off to fight their neocon wars, the cherubic, fat-faced jonah goldberg is exalted above all of us. lozlzlz!!
wouldn’t that be awesome if neocons fought tehir own wars? lzozlzl! imagine bill kristol and jonah goldberg in hand-to-hand combat. lozlzlzllzlzlzlzl!!!!
military wife calls out bill kristol. lzollzlzlz!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NswoOQAdYQ4 awesome explanation of jonah “trotsky” goldberg. lzozllz! from ron paul.
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She get f*cked one or twice in causal sex that made her feel good from the naughty thrill, but that’s about it.
Really, you should’ve gone with her. NOT going: 1. Let her get dicked, and 2. Lowered your stock in her eyes for when someone else potentially ‘gina-tingling comes along.
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It’s too late to worry.
If you want to infer anything from somebody’s behavior, you have to predict what you would infer BEFORE you observe their behavior. Otherwise, you’re just fretting.
So she’s going on a trip.
If she comes back and is indifferent/distant to you, what would you infer?
If she comes back, is overjoyed to see you for a X days, and then things settle into whatever pattern they were before she left, what would you infer?
If she’s really nice to you for more than X days, what would you infer?
So you have to choose X, the amount of time beyond which it would be strange if she’s extra nice to you. And you have to choose X BEFORE she gets back.
The closest thing you can do now is “if she’s this nice to me for X longer, then I’ll conclude something’s up.”
This is assuming you care. If you’re not into pair bonding, then why care? With your lifestyle choice, you’ve signed up for the cheating roulette wheel anyway.
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B. Flag
You used the word “slithering”. I care a lot about words choices… and now I have this massive bulge in my jeans.
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Classic case of “privileged information” (http://www.xamuel.com/privileged-information/)
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lozlzlzlz!
question dudes!
woudl you rather marry a chcik who has had 10 diff cocks in her ass, or 40 diff cocks in her vagina? this is a realistic consideration where i live. lzo0zllz!
in the bible it talks about losing your soul and all… and guess what.. it’s true!!
take chicks fro example.
some of my girlfriends have had like 40 different cocks in tehm and each one took out a bit of her soul…
that is why the neocons want more sex ed and butthex–that is why charlotte allen celebrates tucker max who films butthex with girls without their consent in teh WEEKLY STANDARD. lzozzlzll!
butthex takes the soul out of chciks 4x as fast, whcih is why charlotte allen considers tucker max an alpha male, even though he stands on risers to make himself look taller to impress charlotte allen who doesn’t know how tyo use google to do research about TRUTH because she’s 97 or something lzozll. lozlzlz!
so which is it guys?
woudl you rather marry a chcik who has had 10 diff cocks in her ass, or 40 diff cocks in her vagina?
eitehr one is going to ass rape you in the neocon’s feminsit police state divorce courts after giving birth to kids that aren’t urs but whcih one would you prefer?
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@Rum
You’re welcome.
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Easy call the other bitch in your bull pen. Always keep two or more kitties.
Women rarely cheat on alpha, but sometimes shit happens cuz they’re stupid. If she gets pregnant though, I would run for the hills.
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Chapter 9 of Orwell’s Animal Farm & Jonah Goldberg lzozll!
“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” –Chapter 9 of Orwell’s Animal Farm
lozzllzzl!
“The creatures outside looked from neocon to leftist, and from trotskyite to neocon, and from neocon to bolshevik again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
lzozlzl!
reaidng is soooo mcuh fun that it sux that the bnecons have dumbed down our schools and deconstructed all teh cool boox so taht they can try to pass jonah “i am hackman” goldberg off as a writer. lzozll!
fat chance!
lozlzl
http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/chapter-9-of-orwells-animal-farm-jonah-goldberg-lzozll/
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omg my first major interveiw! in a major publication! lzozlzl!
http://ahappinessexperiment.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/interview-with-an-amateur-anthropologist/#comments
Q: I’ve read a lot of your comments on Roissy. You seem to be more or less “on board” with Roissy’s diagnosis of the current sex marketplace, yet you seem to take the “crisis of feminism” a bit further than does Roissy. Is that a fair description? What are your thoughts on this?
lozlzl! roissy is cool in taht same way that 1986 impalas are cool. lzozlzl! he spends so much time saying words like “dating” and “marriage” that if it weren’t or his awesome spell-checking software i would prob,. jet. he’s a cool dude though 4 surf.
Q: You have a literary perspective on contemporary society. Who is a greater influence on you: Swift, Voltaire or Diderot? Someone else?
Homer, Shakespeare, Dante, Virgil, Jefferson, Cicero, Jesus, Moses. lozlzl!
Q: What is your dating life like? Is there a special someone?
OMG you guys would laugh if you knew. i went through my roissy stage but now i just feel bad for every single girl i meet. i don’t want you to cheat on yoru hunsband or lose any more of your soul … hahahhahaha .. and this is no game but it turns them on …. ahahah i have anti-game… i really care about them and want thenm to improve themselves that is more important to me tahn getting some as i’ve gotten so much i dont know where to put it all and might have to rent some tsorage space lozlzlzl!
Q: You have an amazing knack for connecting the dots between fiat currencies and the power of pussy. I haven’t seen anyone else draw this line so boldly. How did you arrive at this connection?
omg it’s soooooooooooo obvious. but when i was a freshamn i got kicked out of a creative class by a feminist professor for making fuinof her and the class in a tory and as i was wlaking out the doro right tehre behind it were alan greenspan and ben bernanke. i went lozlzlzl! and they paid me off to keep my mouth shut but i have since realized that the money is debt based so now i’m talkin and shit cause nobody messes with da greatbooks4men lzozllz!
Q: To quote Freud: “What does Woman want?”
omg that is so easy… they want a man, and love, and marriage, and children and the fiat masters killed tehir souls and blinded them to what they really want. freud was a pussy who wrote the cliffnotes to teh cliffnotes to shakespeare.
Q: Do you consider yourself a sexist?
no not at all! i loev women & actually help them out when i can as i know it’s not their fault lzozllzzl they’re like little babies but then they’re asking you to do them up the ass lzozlzlzl and i go omg do urself up the ass lzozlzl as i’m not working for teh fiat masters. hell–tehy don’t fund men’s studies programs so i’m not goonna do you up the ass. do yourself up teh ass — you’re getting all teh fiat cash and such! lzozlzllzlz!
Q: What are your ambitions?
answering your questions.
Q: Again, regarding the correlation between loose pussy and fiat currency: do you think the relative looseness of pussy might serve as a leading economic indicator? For instance, in your estimation could loose pussy serve as a buy signal for gold? Doesn’t this seem to be the zeitgeist of the moment?
def!!! see a fiat currency is a jealous god & it recreates the world in its image. as it is worth nothing, it must devlaue and dbauch everything. f.a hayek (the nobvel laureate economist) said that when truth ends the worst rise to the top. so a fiat currency, because it is based on a lie, recruits all teh worst to rise to teh top and suddenly useful idiots such as jonah goldberg thinks he’s smart, and pussy gets loose because teh fiat masters must debauch and desecrate all of entreitery as they profit in the destruction of cultures and currencies. .zozlzlzllzlz!
Q: Are you yourself long gold or short pussy?
there’s an even greater investment than gold and pussy. the written word. lzozlzlzl! fiat paper is worth nothing over time. teh words of teh great books only ever augmemgt in avlue… lzoozlzlz! i’m doubling down bitchas!!
Q: Any other thoughts on the vagina as an economic indicator?
women make me sad because tehy hit thirty and know the game is over and all they have to shwo for their best years is a sore anus. lzozlzl! most would of rather had kids and a family and would be happy with such, but teh fiat masters ropbbed them of this by killing the manly myths and telling them to follow their ginatingles. women are very confused these days as their souls have been hidden from them. llzozozlzlz! and tehn charlotte allen si exalting buttsexers and guys who tape secerteiv taping of anal sex without the girls consent in teh pages of the weekly standard–tucker max. she’s an old lady so she doesn’t know any better but taht’;s the problem–the fiat masters only let the jonah goldbergs and old ladies write teh books –thye useful idiots lzlozozl!
Reply
http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com
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@ polymath –
yeah but the combo of glow without tears or contact speaks strongly for a sperm wars reaction. while hinting at your jealousy by confronting her risks losing hand.
@ CJ
When you’re traveling, do you keep in touch with your boyfriend? Are you sexually voracious? Do you cry when getting back to him? Depending on your answers the situation isn’t the same.
@ all the guys saying they wouldn’t care
Please. Would you be saying this if you watched her fuck Antonio through mirrored glass, instead of only suspecting? It would change your relationship evaluation of her.
@ all the guys suggesting direct confrontation
This would result in loss of hand. Jealousy is something this confident chick she should feel for you, not you for her.
I agree that facts matter. If she cheated then she’s now more likely to do so again, especially if you respond gratefully to her attentions. The correct response is aloofness and a downgrade. If she didn’t cheat then the correct response is to enjoy.
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Man-h8ing Jonah Goldberg writes:
“The reason strikes me as fairly simple. Women civilize men. As a general rule, men will only be as civilized as female expectations and demands force them to be. “Liberate” men from those expectations, and Lord of the Flies logic kicks in. Liberate women from this barbarism, and male decency will soon follow.”
–http://article.nationalreview.com/427383/where-feminists-get-it-right/jonah-goldberg
without jonah goldberg’s wife’s arresting beauty (lozllz!), neocon woman expectations, and neocon woman demands (lzozll! omg lozlzlz!), jonah goldberg would be out playing lord of the flies, running around with no shirt on down K street, rockin’ out with his goldberg neocon cock (neocock) out, ducking into bars to ravage all that his rightfully his as an untamed beta-male neocon. lozlzlzl!
why do neocons think that we are all like them?
also, throughout the history of mankind, it has been men who have laid down the law–from homer and moses on down–not pussified neoconning goldberg’s wife & her feminist friends. lzozll! i mean lookw hat the fmeinist movement has done to the family lzzozlzl! WTF is goldberg thinking????? Single mother familes r good?? Have you ever dated a few chicks with no fatehrs goldberg? If so, and you still wnat fatherless families, where teh neocons repalce teh father with debt-based fiat dolalrs, you hate women & love ur kinky kink & shiznit yo.
–http://greatbooksformen.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/jonah-goldbergs-primal-lord-of-the-flies-savagery-tamed-by-his-beuatiful-wife/
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someone just wrote on my blog a comment “Dude, you are fucking hilarious! You out Roissy Roissy!!”
hey roissy thanks for breaking me 2 the world i owe u everytying man can i borrow ur spell check software? also how do i set u a twitter aocunt i need 2 tweet! i am modeling myself after arianna huffington & i think she tweets so i will 2 . thanx in adavced!
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@Polymath:
Men Who Change Diapers Change the World!
At the last trivia night at my new local bar, the host wore a tee-shirt that said “this is what a FEMINIST looks like.” He’s a real geek, so I’ll give him some space, but man, that really turned me off. I suppose he thought that would be a hit with the girls.
As far as Roissy’s original question, about what to do with the traveling girlfriend……do nothing. I often travel to exotic places for work, and my old lady is increasingly doing the same for her own job. In fact, she is in an exotic and romantic locale right now, but do I think she’s cheating on me? No, I’m certain she is not, and if she were, she will have to deal with the guilt, which will swallow her whole. If she did something stupid, she’d let me know eventually, directly or indirectly……I don’t need to pry it out of her.
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watch a cartoon with her after she gets back..
InspectHerGadget
!
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And who is this
greatbooksformen
psycho pumpndump victim?
I think 10 trolling annoying comments filled with fucked up lozlzlzl crap is grounds for an ip ban….
just saying…
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what tunacanman said. fully agree.
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Can someone tell me how to attach a picture, I have a great Beta of the Month shot to submit. Also how do you do italics and URLs and all that sort of shite here?
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Many months? It’s probably time to DTB and restock your roster some fresher meat.
I can’t exactly remember if it was the great Tom Leykis who said this, but when your girl goes off on an exotic trip solo or with her girl-friends(so she claims), chances are she’s going off for some new cock. She’ll schtup some native guy or a ‘good male platonic friend’ who tagged along. Always assume so.
No problem, let her go on her trip. Whether you wanna DTB or continue with the fuck sessions, it’s entirely up to you to decide after she returns. Feel free to screw some other chicks while she’s away – you do not want to put all your eggs into one vagina basket. Detach your emotions when dealing with meat.
Also, I am assuming you’re not cohabiting with the chick. You don’t wanna get haunted by de facto relationship laws, and living separately makes for a much cleaner DTB break-up.
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Need no relationship game-book for such an occurrence, because it´s definitely GAME OVER with that chick.
Her fucking life achievement checklist is obviously more important than you to her.
She checked off the backpacking and Latin sex adventure and next on the list is now marriage.
RUN don´t walk away from such a bitch.
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EDIT: Don´t walk, RUN away from such a bitch.
Oh, and get tested ASAP. If you´re such a dumbass to stick your Johnson unprotected into a twat, that´s been fucking around the world.
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@ greatbooksformen – Are you retarded? You find a lot of things funny. You remind me of the girl in High School who always found everything funny. Turned out she was mildly retarded.
I’d seek prompt medical care or make it easier for all of us or just find the tallest building and jump. Preferably in the middle of the night so you do not interrupt important people going to work.
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On reflection: “she tells you she has been planning this trip since before she met you and will go by herself if you don’t join her.”
She’s not in thrall to you as she doesn’t feel conflicted about taking off.
She could potentially cheat anytime…enjoy the sex and don’t take her seriously.
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[I’m trying to get a “Beta of the Year” submission going but I’m having no luck; can someone advise? Here are the links and what I have to say….]
Here’s a great hubby-wife couple from ASIA
The woman, quite good looking actually, and not over 25, has apparently come to Asia to get herself a nice tame husband
See the picture — here’s two links in case one doesn’t work
http://yfrog.com/2oexpatbetahunterj
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greatbooksformen is Barbara Schwarz I’m telling you… google the name — if there is one person on the face of the earth who can force Roissy to start heavily moderating, it is her. She is possibly the most annoying person ever to walk the face of the earth — worse than Jesus himself, if you can believe it.
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this one’s not too hard. i’ve found that if your girl takes off for a couple weeks and you ruthlessly bone 5 to 8 old flames or new friends, that you really don’t give two shits what she did on her trip. sure, it’s not a bad idea to make her think you’re a little jealous, but the truth is you’ll really be unable to force yourself to care one way or another.
the trick is to act just a little bit jealous but make sure you don’t actually get her to crack and tell you, because then you have to blow up and put on a world class acting job which is really draining. so enjoy the great sex and meals or whatever, and enjoy the comforting knowledge that if you ever break up, you’ll still land ever-so-softly into an oasis of vagina.
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Looking forward to your prefered answer on this one. My gut response is the girl is faithful, you passed a jealousy test, so just continue as normal. And by “normal” I mean remain alpha and assume she’s a cheating bitch if you ever beta-tise.
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@greatbooks4men
They don’t want to hear about Fiat and Vulvo, lozllz or not. They don’t want to know who their treasury secretary is sleeping with. It would just hurt too much for men to realize that women are human too and that they have been turned into skanks by the “neo-cons”, divided and conquered all.
Roissy knows this too, and so he write of hunting big game by the watering holes.
In other news, Carla Bruni and Niki “neo-con” the “frenchman” declare their fidelity and undying love. I shed a tear when I read that. So sweet. So Kubrick was lying after all.
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Hmm. I’m sorta with Roosh and al on this one – I doubt she cheated. If it’s a hiking trip to Machu Picchu or Patagonia or wherever (hinted at), that’s a totally different thing, and a totally different mindset, than the opposite extreme of a sex-and-booze fueled atmosphere of a Club Med or Ibiza. Nor should the fact that she went by herself be a big deal. She likes to hike, Roissy doesn’t. Doesn’t say whether she went alone or with a group of (female?) friends. But that might make a difference – females behave differently in packs.
Bottom line- don’t worry about it.
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wow, this thread says a lot about the readers here and their inability and lack of experience in both long terms and finding happiness itself. The truth is, if she felt the need or desire to cheat on you in the first few months then she would have already broken up with you. And for those hung up on her taking a trip without him and thinking it is anything other than just travel you are paranoid and thinking like a cheater yourself.
also, to the spastic ass-clown that keeps writing “lozlzlz”, (whatever the fuck that means…?) may a heavy object fall on your head very soon for the improvement of humanity.
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@ OstroNova
what’s the backstory behind this?
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What do you do?
Not a dam thing, only a paraniod AFC chump worries about if his GF cheated on him on holiday, based on nothing but a mental mind-fuckery of his own doing.
For starters, 2 weeks freedom? I hope in that time you got some tail of your own whilst she is away.
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“A girl you’ve dated for “many months” and who had “planned this trip for many months” would have BEGGED, PLEADED, CAJOLED & PAID FOR YOU TO COME.
[editor: what if she did?]
BOTTOM LINE: She ain’t into you.”
***
You’re changing the story here.
[editor: what part of “She wants you to go with her” don’t you understand?]
So she begged and offered to pay for you to cum and you refused? Clearly, YOU AIN’T INTO HER.
[maybe. or maybe the dude just doesn’t want to blow his free time doing something he’d rather not.]
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She’s treating me like a king?
Fuck it… I’d just stop thinking about her “straycation” and enjoy being treated like a king.
Snooping is for pussies(read: Betas) who are afraid to confront their partners.
I’d probably just assume she missed me on her vacation and was treating me so good because her hamster brain got running when I didn’t join her on the vacation.
Asking me to join her, but saying that she was going anyways because she planned it before we started dating is a shit test IMO. If I had joined her, but was not excited about the trip, she would know that I was rolling over for her. Since I was obviously not excited about the trip, and told her I wasn’t interested – go have fun… I passed her shit test… her gina was tingling for me the entire trip (probably)
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I’ve been reading this site for a while, and if a woman says she’s tight with ya, but takes an indepedent vacation that is highly suspect, well, DTB. BTW, lots of STD’s take a while to show up…..so, if U went back with that, then chances are U’ve got something. Personally, any time a woman tells U that she’s gonna do something whether U like it or not, it’s over. I expect U to be getting the “cowbird” treatment, and deservably so, as betas are routinely cuckolded.
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The answer to this Test lies in her behavior DURING the trip.
She’s aware that the suspicion of each of you cheating will cross your mind and hers. So what did she do while she was on the trip to alleviate you of that worry?
Women are, for the most part, single-minded when it comes to their man. They are not as likely to be calling or emailing YOU on a regular basis and purposely soothing your doubts while boning random guys.
HERE IS THE ANSWER: How many times do she email or call?
** If it was daily, or close, sprinkled with subtle assurances she is being faithful then you have nothing to worry about.
** If it became spotty (particularly on the weekends) with vague details and few stories of the people she met then she’s probably doing something she doesn’t want you to know about.
** If she completely checked out for days at a time, its over, she almost certainly cheated.
What about the photo’s she took on the trip? Is she forthcoming showing you all of them? She would because she will want to prove to you she was faithful with this as evidence.
I have traveled extensively and as most posters here know women are 100x more likely to fuck around on vacation then at home. Particularly married women, if they manage to get away from the hubby will unleash her inner slut monster with merely the slightest of prompting.
THAT SAID I always see the faithful ones. They are the at the Internet Cafe’s spending hours each day talking with their man, uploading photo’s, relating stories, worried he might be straying, assuring he she is not. There is ample time during the day to communicate. Most people contact home sooner or later. A girl interested in keeping her man though will be diligent about it.
The answer to this test is based solely on her behavior while away. The amount of effort she expended communicating and (consciously or unconsciously) reassuring you of her fidelity is inversely proportional to the odds she cheated.
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last night at dinner, my delightful company told me a story about her BFF, who’s married and living in far-off lands. she just took a two-week trip by train with a girlfriend and met the new man of her dreams. what a fairytale!
now she’s entered “therapy”, surely to help her rationalize doing whatever she wants, all the time. some background on this girl: double major in psychology and women’s studies from a top 30 school. borderline 8. also one-nighted my black friend before her husband was in the mix.
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Women are capable of giving quality love and attention to more than one man at a time. Let’s say I’m dating 3 guys at once. When I’m with A – I’m totally into A. when I’m with B, totally into B… same with C.
It’s similar to parents who love all their kids equally. One does not conflict with the other, you totally love each one for the unique individual they are.
At least this is how it works for me. The only dilemna comes if they men try to corner you into making a “decision”.
Otherwise left alone, it works quite well.
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Roissy, you seem to check all comments already as they routinely undergo “Awaiting moderation”.
Can you please filter/ban the lolzlz troll?
He defaces your blog using the following nicknames:
greatbooksformen
barbbabbs
ahappinessexperiment
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Is this post a test for us, or for Roissy’s LTR?
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BanHim’s motion is seconded.
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anoukange said “if you “fuck her like a champ” she will carry thoughts and blushes of only you”
But if you’re in a LTR, you must have “fucked her like a champ” at some time in the past/probably many times/or she wouldn’t be in an LTR with you. So if she doesn’t feel like you’re doing it right for her now, what changed?
It’s not very likely you just forgot your sexual skills. It’s more likely that something ELSE is wrong with the relationship and it comes out feeling to her like mediocre or worse sex.
Maybe you’re just not putting enough time & energy into arousing & satisfying her and the fix is simple. But more likely one or the other of you has problems with the relationship that go beyond the bedroom.
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It depends on the girl.
Some are far more likely to cheat than others. Long experience have made me tell the difference. Some girls I have I would trust nearly 100%. Most far less, of course.
The thing is though, I would never initiate something resembling a relationship with an untrustworthy girl. I have had loads for casual dating and sex, but no more.
The last two girls I have been in relationships with I could have sent to any PUA-gathering without fear – that is easy on the mind.
So answer is, I would be certain she had not cheated.
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PA-
“What did you think
I would do at this moment
When you’re standing before me
With tears in your eyes…….”
–great song by the way.
Eve-
–sweet jesus. Ok. Good for you I guess.
Jack the Ripper-
–I completely agree. Some people you can sense are not cheaters or your relationship is bonded enough that you know she /he wouldn’t cheat. Much comes down to gut feelings.
Jeff-
–It’s like this:
If a guy is feeling any doubts in his abilities as far as sex goes then this will lead to doubts in his partner’s fidelity. One must ask themselves if faced with the above situation, is it me she may be cheating on, or is it in her to cheat as part of her character make-up? If you know the sex is a phenomenal connect then the odds of her cheating are slim. I do not consider a few months of dating a long term, I would think the longer the relationship, the more likely one of the two would eventually cheat. Cheating in the first few months means one of the two (or both) are the type to cheat anyhow or the best impression on each other has not been made. If the girl is cute/pretty/beautiful/hot then she will always have other options. Girls are used to this. Temptations are abound in life, not just on vacations. It would never occur to me that taking a vacation without the guy I had been seeing for a few months would be read into the way it has been here. What I meant by the comment would be that a guy would have a pretty good idea if he has satisfied his lover or not. He should be able to sit back and relax if he “fucks her like a champ” on the steady. If she is getting her mind blown then she can’t even offer any space in her head for anyone else, even a causal tryst. There would be no need. Woman do not fuck around for varieties sake.
For those of you who say to not have let her go, that is just ridiculous and it comes off as possessive and controlling, which is not sexy or alpha.
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Shouldn’t she be the one wondering what you’ve been doing while the kitten was away?
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Punch her in the asshole, then steal her money. Use it to go play some pinball.
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Ya, I’m with the bulk of the commenters here. I really don’t understand the purpose of this post. A girl was out of sight for a while, and on return is treating you well.
And?
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“I don’t know if its hyperchondria or OCD but i have serious phobia of this shit, i can’t bring myself to touch some of whats on offer. Don’t think i’d want to date anyone whos ever had an STD, implies they’ve been fucking the wrong people and none of that shit needs to be my problem. Iv’e stayed clean and i’d consider myself an attractive high risk of STD male, so if i can do it through modesty, good judgement and taking care, its the very least i expect of my woman to be STD free until she reaches me.”
Precisely how I feel on the subject, considering that 1/4 of US women have genital herpes as of last count. Never mind that it isn’t all that hard to avoid getting an STD in the first place – all a chick would have to do is make a rudimentary effort to not fuck trash and get the guy to use protection. Many chix can’t seem to be bothered with this, however, and dive into the arms of the nearest “bad boy” without any concern for the consequences. (Anyone else notice that women generally do not seem to have the ability to predict the consequences of their actions and/or plan for the future?)
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Omarion,
A rudimentary effort not to fuck trash and get the guy to use protection” — huh?
Did you sleep thru junior high sex ed?
STDs have nothing to do with lacking good values and/or screwing the wrong people.
Stopping turning disease into a morality tale about who’s a good person and who isn’t.
If your nice girl’s previous BF (also a really nice guy) somewhere along the way picked up herpes, then she might well be infected.
Meaning you might have it too.
Condoms might make transmission more difficult but they’re not perfect.
Besides, you can spread it through fooling around that doesn’t involve full-blown screwing.
I used to screw around a lot with women pretty much everyone would consider “nice girls.” And I’m the nicest guy you’re ever going to meet.
But I never deluded myself this meant I wasn’t going to pick up an STD.
So I used condoms and starting at age 17, I got tested every 4-6 months.
It’s simple dumb luck that I always tested negative.
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I really hope you start analyzing everyone’s responses again, Roissy; these “tests” are silly without and answer key, so to speak (even if there’s more than one correct answer).
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When did “neo-con” become an all-purpose replacement for “meanyhead?”
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I get a paternity test if she comes up prego.
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@dragnet
You asked, “what’s the backstory behind this?” Were you referring to my suspicion that the goodbooksformen weirdo is in fact Barbara Schwarz, or to my photograph of this awesome BetaHubby:
http://yfrog.com/2oexpatbetahunterj
(In case one link doesn’t work.)
Yes, I took that picture. I don’t know the backstory, I was just wandering around and there they were. I can tell you that it’s a certain Asian country, the woman is clearly a Westerner; as for the man, he is almost certainly a local, but of course there is a chance he is also a foreigner of some kind here. That’s all I know.
If you were inquiring about the backstory of Barbara Schwarz, you can read about her most notorious exploits if you look her up on Wikipedia, but otherwise, she is one of the all time legendary Usenet Kooks. I won’t go into the details of why I suspect our latest whacko here might be her, other than to say, the more attention Roissy attracts, the greater the likelihood his blog will be targeted by a seriously disturbed and obsessive weirdo such as Schwarz. Such people go from one long-term pathological Internet fixation to another, making dozens to HUNDREDS of posts per day, and if one of them decides that Roissy is his or her new reason for living, it will be a major nuisance.
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Michael Porfirio Mason wins yet another thread.
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I see where Roissy was going with this post now.
Her pleading and trying to get you to go with her, when you clearly didn’t want to go, was one huge test on her part. By refusing to go, and ignoring her the entire time (to chase poon), you came across as the aloof, self-centered alpha who acts in his own best intersts while ignoring her emotions on the matter.
She was probably stewing in her own juices, thinking of your aloof alpha nature, the entire trip down there. Which is why she bought you all the gifts and sexed your brain out the minute she got back.
Caving to any of a woman’s emotions- whether it be anger, pity, pleading, or generosity; when your own interests are contrary to them = BETA
Always doing what you want, and ignoring what the woman feels about it = ALPHA
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She definitely fucked some dude, but it means she got her desires to be ravished by some south american alpha filled. As a result, she is satisfied to return to you, knowing that her fling will stay forever in Antonio’s hut. You understand that hoes is hoes, and continue to profit from it. You are not emasculated because he will forever live in some shitty 3rd world country, and you are awesome, and drilling her regularly again.
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The feeling from the description is that you suspect something happened.
You probably won’t find out for sure either way so no point in digging around.
You’ll probably withdraw emotionally and then either meet someone else or tell her you feel like you’ve grown apart and accept being alone for some period of time. Don’t link it to the trip or anything factual, just talk about feeling more distant. You should be honest with yourself, if you didn’t care this wouldn’t be a dilemma.
It may be weak to feel insecure like this but given that you do the best option is to end things. It’s weaker to pretend you feel otherwise and it’s a mark of low self-worth to stay with someone you don’t respect.
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nycbachelor,
You may be right. Going back and reading Roissy’s post more carefully, I see he’s saying “you conclude … she probably did not do anything…”
Then he says “You *could* snoop around her stuff and spend mental energy trying to discover if she had a fling, or you could forget about your unfounded suspicions and just enjoy her everflowing love.”
He is framing this test as a binary choice: snoop or forget? But the key word is “probably” — if you would behave very differently knowing she’d been unfaithful, then the uncertainty is itself harmful so you snoop (in a smooth and deniable way). Even though you are probably right that she didn’t cheat and is now demonstrating her appreciation of your alpha attitude, the possibility is worth checking, just like you would have your car or your health checked occasionally. The other key word is “forget” — a tipoff that this choice leads to complacency and a vulnerability to pretty lies. “Just enjoy” is suspiciously passive and beta-like.
So I agree with your view that Roissy’s Hypothetical Guy passed Vacation Girl’s “huge test”, and I shouldn’t have been so harsh on his pre-trip game; but it could also be a test “can I get away with cheating and make him my beta-boy” and it’s important, post-trip, to rule this out.
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Get rid of the double standard. Feel some compersion for her and Antonio.
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Paternity Test.
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Assume she screwed her way from Lima to the Amazon. Use the time she is gone to to shore up the stables with new blood. Then after she returns complain about the sandwiches in hopes of better fare and then only after she returns make your move on her hot friend.
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Do you guys really believe this stuff? Alpha males and beta males – you ever seen a brave but gormless loser pulling the “alpha” – depressing stuff!
And this:
“Unlike men, women are incapable of expressing unbridled sexual lust and love for multiple men simultaneously. Women only have room in their emotional landscapes for one “main man” at a time.”
What on earth is this? Four nights ago some crazy ass bitch jumped me at a party. Tried to knee me in the balls, then bit me on the neck and started kissing me. So what’s the deal?
And the notion that women have only room for one man at a time in their “emotional landscapes”? Guys, seriously – get real. Here’s a study opportunity for you – watch “Eyes Wide Shut”. Or, even better, buy the book (Dream Story by Aurthur Schnitzler). That was written in the 20s, back when women most resembled your ridiculous fantasies – and even then their sex-drives were all over the place completely dominating their “emotional landscapes”.
I think you guys – especially the author – are living in your own fantasy world. I’m not even saying this because I particularly respect women – I’m just saying it because you’re all so damn wrong!
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“Unlike men, women are incapable of expressing unbridled sexual lust and love for multiple men simultaneously. Women only have room in their emotional landscapes for one “main man” at a time.”
Actually, I’m just going to rubbish this with another anecdote – I have a million and one of these if you want them.
A friend of mine is currently training in the British army. Every two weeks or so this crazy bitch turns up at the barracks. Her and the boys go into the mess-tent where they all bang the shit out of her while they record her on their phones as she moans for more. Then she pulls up her skirt, turns tail and goes home to mind the kids… saucy!
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I think that’s a different phenomenon than what roissy is talking about, Vinnie. That’s just a lonely insane woman looking for attention.
Roissy has always admitted that there are outliers. What he describes on this blog, though, represents vast bulk of humanity.
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