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Chateau Heartiste

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She Insulted You. What Now?

March 22, 2010 by CH

One time, like a stink bomb dropped in the middle of a spring meadow, your girlfriend called you a rude name, and not in jest. The insult itself was nothing that would scandalize polite company. On the scale from “dummy” to “motherfucker” it was closer to the former. It was a rambunctious conversation between just the two of you and the insult popped out of her reflexively. You know she’s a spark plug, so you’re not surprised when she snaps agitatedly on occasion. Usually, though, she directs her insults to invisible third parties. This time, she spit it at you.

As an alpha male, you let it slide. You know that a highly self-possessed man won’t sweat the small stuff. Reacting indignantly to every petty affront is the domain of the less secure greater beta trying to prove the weight of his cohones. You’ve earned enough love cred to give her a pass without risking diminishment of your authority. But, you do take a mental note of her insult.

As you suspected would happen, (and the reason for your prior mental note-taking), a month later she disrespected you again with the same insult. Except this time she did it to you in front of a group of her friends while out at a social venue. The Rubicunt from minor slight to major infraction had been crossed.

It is a truism of the nature of women that once they have tasted even a droplet of beta blood in a prized lover, they thirst for more. In fact, they will not be satisfied until they have either drained all the manhood out of you, or you have figuratively driven a stake through their vampiric soul. Strangely to men who don’t know better, women don’t relish draining a lover’s soul of his manhood. No, they are compelled by ancient feminine forces beyond their influence to do so. Women would much rather you stay their attacks. She yearns for you to put her in her proper submissive place. She will arch her back, rip her bodice, and present her bitch heart for you to pierce. A man who won’t take up the stake and do as she wishes is in for a world of anguish. (It’s easy to picture a betaboy limply dangling the stake in his flaccid arm, wondering what next to do while mewling for his woman to button up her blouse.)

So there you are, in a mixed group of seven or eight people, most of whom are girl friends of your woman, and in the midst of a chaotic conversation she has just called you that naughty word again. You can discern by her yapping mouth and her animated face that she has hardly recognized the extent of her insolence. No matter. You know what has to be done. You retrieve the mental note you made one month ago, turn to face her directly, firmly wrap your hand around her forearm, and with the steely gaze of a lion targeting a distracted gazelle you inform her in no uncertain terms of your displeasure with her behavior.

“Hey! Don’t use that word on me again, do you understand?”

She looks shocked, and squirms a bit in her seat. The conversation among the group sitting at the table lulls. A wind blows from the West. Sensing escalating danger, or perhaps simply confused, she mutters an inaudible, and notably unapologetic, OK and continues yapping to her friends without missing a beat. You squeeze your grip on her forearm tighter and address her louder than before.

“Hey! I said… don’t use that fucking word with me again…… Got it?”

Now the table has fallen silent. A grim specter has alighted upon the land. Your woman, pressed into a corner by your imposing strength of will, finally succumbs and silences herself.

“Ok, sorry, sorry.”

The next twenty minutes, she is withdrawn, her demeanor chastened and her arms modestly crossed in her lap. You swivel to face the group and smile warmly. Instead of forcing the conversation to return to an artificial crescendo, you remain calm and allow the prior energy level to reformulate on its own. Which it does, almost. Eventually, even your girl has managed to reconstitute herself, although you note with great pride the look of hatred her ugly BFF shoots you.

What do you think happened next?

Let us turn to the lyrics of Alter Ego Neil Diamond for our answer.

Turn on your snatch spigot
let it flow wherever you go
let it make a happy hole
for all the world to see

Turn on your snatch spigot
in the middle of a young boy’s dream
don’t wake me up too soon
gonna take a ride across your poon… you and me

Many men are afraid of confronting their girlfriends or wives for perceived insults. They think, not illogically, that standing up to a lover angrily and putting her in her place means she will despise him more, and her pussy will close up shop. They especially believe this will be the case if they confront and humiliate their women in front of her friends. These men, 80% of the American male population by my estimation, think it’s better to go along to get along. But they are thinking like men, and that is why they fail. Think like a woman and you will quickly apprehend that just the opposite is likely to result — she will respect you more, and her temporary, but much-needed, humiliation that burns her face will soon burn a line of lust straight to her furrow.

This story of course impresses upon the reader whether it is worth dating a woman who periodically requires strong disciplinary action to keep her in love. It’s a fair question, which answer will depend on what kind of man you are. If you are the type of man who enjoys administering punishment and thrills at the prospect of psychologically outwitting your lover, then you may find this kind of woman preferable. If you’re a man who wishes only the company of women so sweetly feminine in their enthrallment to you that they would never even consider challenging your dominance, then you should find a different woman to love. In the final analysis, though, the only relevant point is the wetness of her pussy. Is she tingling for you? Carry on, Christian soldier.

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Posted in Game, Relationships | 215 Comments

215 Responses

  1. on March 22, 2010 at 11:04 am Colin Bowel

    Top stuff.

    LikeLike


  2. on March 22, 2010 at 11:08 am Jimbo

    Might work on the girl. But all her friends (guys included) are going to think you’re abusing her. For most Americans nowadays, any show of strength with women is considered a sign of abuse. A slight variation with a firm tone and look but without physical contact might be better for that reason.

    LikeLike


  3. on March 22, 2010 at 11:24 am Challenge

    My gal, catching a whiff that my interest in another woman was a bit too strong for a seemingly casual conversation, decided to derail the process by “reminding” me about that time I stalked a Chinese girl on Facebook.

    Though the girl I was talking to seemed content to laugh and go on, I interrupted the entire conversation, turned to face mine, and asked her, “When was this? What girl?” Watching her squirm was amusing, and she answered with empty lies, “When we first started going out,” and “I don’t remember her name.”

    After pressing her some more, she got quiet and gave up answering. Conversation was ruined with the new girl; she was convinced either that I was a former stalker (creepy!) or just incredibly rude.

    So my gal succeeded, and I was defeated, though not without dragging her down with me. It’s left a bad taste in my mouth since. To the point where I didn’t sleep with her for a few days. Not out of spite or punishment, but because I really didn’t want to do the deed; she got much less attractive before my eyes.

    Roissy readers, what should I have done?

    LikeLike


  4. on March 22, 2010 at 11:32 am Brant

    somehow dummy seems worse than motherfu**er…

    LikeLike


  5. on March 22, 2010 at 11:37 am Anonymous

    “But all her friends (guys included) are going to think you’re abusing her.”

    So what?

    LikeLike


  6. on March 22, 2010 at 11:37 am The Rookie

    No more reader mailbag on Mondays?

    LikeLike


  7. on March 22, 2010 at 11:38 am Vigilante

    Comparison of Alpha Males:

    Roissy,

    This is addressed to you. I had an interesting comparison for you that I think you would enjoy exploring.

    A comparison of alpha males/greater betas.

    It is based on the movie scarface.

    I rewatched the movie this weekend and there are obviously too main characters for this comparison.

    You have:

    A) Tony Montana aka Scarface–> The alpha male for making money, building an empire, but beta with women.
    B) Manny Ribera–> The alpha male with seducing women and managing to meet many women successfully, but beta when it comes to negotiating and business deals.

    So here we have two different types of men. Two different archetypes of manhood that I think could be a great comparison for many men of power in both the world of money and the world of women.

    Tony Montana would silence any one who opposes him and he does stand up to his wife plenty…but beforehand he would be rejected by women and believe his only way to successfully be with women would be through means of money and power.

    Manny Ribera would seduce women of all types regardless of his position in life. He would be a poor man but his confidence and swagger and ability to approach any woman would turn women on and ultimately make him the fun loving lothario that women dream of. However, when it came to making business he was even a lesser beta. He would sit idly by and watch Tony take over the empire of the bitterly unforgiving miami sunlight.

    Why is it that Tony would be so powerful in one area and so weak in the other area. It is a great comparison and I know it is a fictional movie with fictional characters but I always found this interesting and entertaining.

    It would be interesting to compare men of power to men of great female interest to see where the discrepancies lie and narrow down the reasons and differences for level of seductive prowess. Just a good consideration for an article Roissy.

    LikeLike


  8. on March 22, 2010 at 11:39 am demon barber

    Once, an ex called me an asshole. I ignored it. Called her an asshole a week later. She got pissed, I smirked. Seems to me its not worth sweating the small stuff. Leave her be, adopting an air of nonchalance and she’ll be back for more.

    LikeLike


  9. on March 22, 2010 at 11:40 am Anonymous

    “But all her friends (guys included) are going to think you’re abusing her.”

    So what?

    LikeLike


  10. on March 22, 2010 at 11:41 am Vigilante

    @ challenge:

    That is a weird situation. Is there any merit to what she is saying or is it complete BS? It makes her look even more lame because she is with you while she knew you were “stalking” some asian girl on facebook. Kind of makes her look dumb doesn’t it?

    LikeLike


  11. on March 22, 2010 at 11:41 am Forbes

    I wouldn’t let the first insult pass without a rebuke. What she does privately, one-on-one with you, will soon enough spread to her public behavior with you. She has no clue you’re taking a mental note–so draw the lines of submission when called for. It’s not about “sweating the small stuff,” if it’s small stuff, it requires no notice. It’s the beta that lets it slide–give her an inch and she’ll take a mile…

    LikeLike


  12. on March 22, 2010 at 11:50 am Woland

    The general rule in business management is the if the faux pas is public then the rebuke needs to be public and if it is private then the rebuke should be private. Another rule is that action speaks louder than words. I would say to not show anger, but to let her know in uncertain terms that you do not allow people to speak that way to you; anybody. Do it right then in front of her friends right then. Make sure that the next 30 second you have everyones attention and do not let it go. That immediately does several things. One, it puts her friends on notice that they will not cross the rubicunt either. Two, she will have to reflect on her own bad behavior. If she does not like it then leave.

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  13. on March 22, 2010 at 11:52 am Hughman

    Depends on the ‘insult’ – if it validates my alphaness (asshole, jerk, douche, ‘so mean’) then I’ll blow her off with a firm but funny remark.

    If she questions my manhood though (pussy, cunt, pansy etc) then remain calm, and start playing one-word Game ‘Excuse me?’ for example. Force her to demonstrate to you what she means, or failing that simply pin her in an emotional corner. [I’ll probably end up dumping said girl, as there will be all manner of red flags associated with a manhood questioning session]

    LikeLike


  14. on March 22, 2010 at 12:25 pm biktopia

    There is no such relationship that goes without conflict, its natural, it is just very important to solve the situation the best way possible
    People treat you the way you let them, if you let them take advantage of you, they prob will, no one respects a weak person, but listens to a strong. If in a relationship and the guy show weak sides, which he does if he let a rude comment pass by, he made several mistakes, he fell of the pedestal and if he let the women boss around with him, he sends signals to her that he is the type that will be bossed around at the workplace, by his friends and by the government and everyone in general, its a sign of low capability and no one wants a doormat, so the best thing is to counter react, but not as a mad bull but with finesse.

    LikeLike


  15. on March 22, 2010 at 12:25 pm Bill

    Since when did Roissy in DC become “Citizen Renegade”?

    LikeLike


  16. on March 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm Willy Wonka

    Yeah, like Hughman said.. it definitely depends on the insult. If she calls me an asshole or something, I’d let that slide with just a smirk.

    But, I would never let a chick disrespect me in front of my friends or hers…. I can’t think of an instance where that’s ever happened though – they mostly know better than that.

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  17. on March 22, 2010 at 12:35 pm newly divorced

    Why not threaten to dump her ass right in front of her friends? Nobody can call that abuse and it shows that you’re in charge.

    Probably gets the friends all wet as well.

    LikeLike


  18. on March 22, 2010 at 12:38 pm Peter

    “But all her friends (guys included) are going to think you’re abusing her.”

    So what?

    Well, if you’re just dating this girl, then said advice is useful for LTR game. But let’s say you try the above when you’re married (esp. with children). Then, later on, when she gets bored with the relationship and wants a divorce, this incident will bolster her false claims of abuse.

    And then you won’t even be a Weekend Warrior Dad after the divorce.

    Of course, Roissy would say that if this is just one part of your larger LTR game, then your wife won’t dump you. Probably not… but Beta-AFCs should use this with caution.

    LikeLike


  19. on March 22, 2010 at 12:43 pm takes all kinds

    Roissy,
    In your example if you confronted the woman later on in private would it have the same effect, or does action have to be taken immediately and in public?

    LikeLike


  20. on March 22, 2010 at 12:44 pm maurice

    I think it depends on the context and the word used. Females don’t “neg” per se (and it doesn’t really work the same way if they try) but if she says “dummy” or something like that in a clearly teasing, basically affectionate way then that wouldn’t really fall into this category.

    Real insults are a different thing – either they’re a stronger version of a shit test, in which case this advice is good, or they reflect deeper problems with her and her ability to respect you or men in general.

    Again it comes back to how people grew up and what role models they had. If a woman grew up in a house where the mother was always insulting and cutting down the father, then in her mind that’s what a normal relationship feels like and what she will trend toward. Hard to see how some strong words at a party would counter that. So, those women are poor LTR material.

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  21. on March 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm Advocatus Diaboli

    Onion Spoof on Women and Relationship Experts

    LikeLike


  22. on March 22, 2010 at 12:50 pm The realist

    a more appropriate course of action.

    LikeLike


  23. on March 22, 2010 at 12:52 pm Cauthon

    @Peter

    “but Beta-AFCs should use this with caution.”

    You really need to read the post that Roissy linked to towards the end. I think that collection of Dave from Hawaii’s comments is the most important post on this entire website.

    You say that betas should be afraid of using this maneuver because it could be used against them later, maybe in a divorce proceeding. This is exactly the type of fear that will only hasten the arrival of a divorce. Read Dave from Hawaii. You can’t fear the woman’s emotional state. Your dithering respect for her will only make you more Beta.

    LikeLike


  24. on March 22, 2010 at 12:53 pm Samois

    I did this shit just the other night.

    I was out on a date with some chick who in the course of conversation noted her strong conviction that Michael Jackson was not, in fact, a pedophile, and that everyone had him pegged wrong. Turns out she was an enormous Michael Jackson fan and was traumatized after his death last year. I could care less and, seeing this as a character flaw in her, let her know in no uncertain terms that Michael Jackson was indeed a freaky fucking pedophile.

    She started going off. Yelling all kinds of shit in the bar. Nothing overtly disrespectful or insulting was said but the tone was unacceptable.

    I grabbed her arm:

    “Have you ever met Michael fucking Jackson?”

    “No.”

    “Have you met me?”

    “Yes.”

    “So stop fucking carrying on about some fucked up entertainer you know nothing about.”

    She stopped. The conversation lulled. People around us in the bar were looking at us like I was an axe murderer. But I didn’t give a shit.

    Things gradually got back to normal and she wanted to hang out again and kissed me repeatedly, running her fingers through my hair as I waited with her for a cab later.

    But I don’t want to see her again. Who needs all that bullshit?

    LikeLiked by 1 person


  25. on March 22, 2010 at 12:54 pm Kick a Bitch

    sometimes you gotta put a ho in her fucking place…

    i prefer to snatch a bitch up by her hair and smack the shit out of her. but i imagine a stern reprimand will do for some a you white folk.

    taking bitches out to eat n shit. spending money on these hos. fuck wrong wit chall?

    LikeLike


  26. on March 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm cassius

    Yeah, I told y’all niggaz about god damn takin them hoez to the cheesecake Factory. Lettin’ them hoez order strawberry lemonade and popcorn shrimps. They ain’t goin’ do nuthin’
    but try to take all your motherfuckin’ cheese!

    LikeLike


  27. on March 22, 2010 at 1:05 pm Anonymouses Anonymous

    I like Newly Divorced’s idea:

    Her: (to her friends) AA really is a dummy….

    Stop her in mid sentence.

    Me: Let me interupt here. Woman, your friend Marci here has been asking me out for several weeks. I have told her no, and the reason is, I would not date someone who would have a stupid bitch like you for a friend. However, Marci, it looks like i am free for the rest of the night, so you can join me later, but bring some Sam Adams. (Exit stage right.)

    LikeLike


  28. on March 22, 2010 at 1:06 pm dragnet

    “If a woman grew up in a house where the mother was always insulting and cutting down the father, then in her mind that’s what a normal relationship feels like and what she will trend toward. Hard to see how some strong words at a party would counter that. So, those women are poor LTR material.”

    This is key, really. The kind of woman that would do that is just not LTR material. As a man, you have too much at stake to risk an LTR—or, god forbid, Marriage 2.0—with that kind of woman. Why would you want to expend so much effort taming a bitch like that? Don’t you have enough stress at your job, from your family, and the myriad other obligations in your life??

    Once a bitch has done that, she’s smoked herself out. You should definitely put her in her place—after all, the tree of manhood can be refreshed from time to time by dominating your woman (among other things, of course). Keep her around for a bit for a few more fuck sessions and then dispense with her.

    Before she goes off birth control and traps your financial resources for good.

    LikeLike


  29. on March 22, 2010 at 1:13 pm Roosh

    You make calling a girl out a girl’s bullshit almost romantic.

    LikeLike


  30. on March 22, 2010 at 1:13 pm Roosh

    Oops.. take out the first “a girl”

    LikeLike


  31. on March 22, 2010 at 1:18 pm Rant Casey

    Awesome post.

    LikeLike


  32. on March 22, 2010 at 1:25 pm xsplat

    …To the point where I didn’t sleep with her for a few days. Not out of spite or punishment, but because I really didn’t want to do the deed; she got much less attractive before my eyes.

    I know the feeling. Jealousy poisons. It’s a major turn off.

    Many girls seem oblivious to how ugly jealousy is.

    I agree that the signals you are seeing are signals. Sometimes it means the girl isn’t good for you. That’s how I read them. I’ve yet to learn a cure for jealousy, as it often means the person has too little emotional control.

    Everyone gets jealous. It’s when it get out of control and no consequence can tame it when it may be time to downgrade the girl. Sometimes into oblivion.

    There isn’t a cure for everything a girl does. Sometimes the girl is incurable.

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  33. on March 22, 2010 at 1:30 pm Silver Fox

    scorched earth is required, always.

    Also, the pre-clude to this is minor criticsim of a defined “male activity”…ie, driving, etc.

    Do not allow this, ever. b/c it begins with driving, leads to sex technique, money management, etc.

    Cauterize at source, heal promptly.

    LikeLike


  34. on March 22, 2010 at 1:31 pm Anonymous

    In my experience, a woman would scream “get your hands off me!” or “don’t touch me!” and then disrespect me even more. Or even if it was done without the forearm grab, she would respond to my attempt to shut her up with more insults, like a toddler throwing a “You’re not the boss of me” fit.

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  35. on March 22, 2010 at 1:36 pm White Woman

    It’s really too bad women think they can get away with this behavior.

    I have actually used this technique with my children. Once you embarrass a teen in front of their friends, there’s little need to repeat the routine. It’s not easy and the long, awkward silence is a little troubling but it’s worth it.

    Our society is beta when it comes to raising kids. I used to get glared at when the kids were little and I swatted their butts in public for misbehaving. I didn’t let it bother me though because I knew they’d learn self control and be better people for it. If parents stopped being afraid and started parenting their kids, the dating and marriage scene (and therefore all of society) would be a lot better for everyone. I agree with (I think) Roissy says about shame. It can be a good motivator.

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  36. on March 22, 2010 at 1:38 pm Peter

    You really need to read the post that Roissy linked to towards the end. I think that collection of Dave from Hawaii’s comments is the most important post on this entire website.

    You say that betas should be afraid of using this maneuver because it could be used against them later, maybe in a divorce proceeding. This is exactly the type of fear that will only hasten the arrival of a divorce. Read Dave from Hawaii. You can’t fear the woman’s emotional state. Your dithering respect for her will only make you more Beta.

    And if you’d be so kind as to re-read my comment, you’ll see that I said this is OK as long as it’s part of a larger LTR-game context.

    What I mean was, to any beta-afc-husbands reading this blog for the first time: don’t start with this. Read the Dave from Hawaii post first, then read the rest of Roissy’s archives. Start off softly, with aloofness, unexplained disappearances, like Roissy said in a post a few days back.

    Start off with this, and you may end up in divorce court with several witnesses backing up your ex-wife’s claims that you’re “emotionally abusive”.

    LikeLike


  37. on March 22, 2010 at 1:38 pm Rollo Tomassi

    One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned about women in my 14 years of marriage is the power of “NO”.

    As readily as women will use their sexuality as an agency, the opposite response is what they want in return for this. They want a man with whom their vagina holds no power over, because this is the guy they can respect. Wives need to be told “NO”, and sometimes this simply needs to be an arbitrary ‘no’ for no other reason than to remind her of who’s frame she’s agreed to live in.

    For example, about 5 years ago my wife had come across a trundle bed for our daughter for about $200 in the classifieds. She called me from work to ask if it would be alright to buy this bed. After thinking about picking it up and re-building it I said no. My daughter was just fine in her already nice bed and I simply didn’t want to go to the trouble of disposing of her bed and setting up another one, price was no object. My wife got indignant and had that “you’d-better-agree-or-no-sex” tone in her voice, at which point I read the sh!t test coming. “Well it’s a great deal and I don’t see why we can’t get it,..blah, blah,..but if you don’t want to then FINE!” she intoned to me. At this stage I don’t explain my reasonings, I simply say “No.” This is no longer about the bed, it’s about setting a frame.

    In the end, she became resentful and held out on me for 3 days (when we hit it like crazy again). I still got laid AND the frame was still my own. You see, the secret is that no amount of pussy, no matter how great the sex is, is ever worth losing the frame. Sex is short term gratification – and women know this – whereas losing the frame has long term impact on your life. I think back to when I foolishly caved in to allowing my wife to buy a car for herself after a similar exchange to the bed incident. She wanted the car because it was ‘cute’ and I went along because she was so in love with it and I got some pretty good sex after the purchase. But into the first year of owning this car it turned out to be the worst mechanical nightmare I’d ever experienced and was in the shop more than on the road. It cost thousands to fix and I ultimately I used it as a trade in for a better car that I chose for her and took a huge hit in it’s original purchase price. So you see, it’s long term investment versus short term gratification. Pussy is never a good bet; masturbation is preferable to making bad long term decisions. I got laid the night after she got her car, but we had to live with that car for 2 years after that. Never again will my wife be allowed to buy a car.

    Far too many men fear the power of “No”. In this one little word is the covert message that her sexuality, her primary influencing agency and tool with you in an LTR, is either called into question or she realizes it has no sway over you. It becomes a covert game of chicken – who’s going to call who’s bluff first. Your “No” to her makes her edgy, not because you’re a Jerk (which she’ll call you), but because that “No” is an overt expression of confidence. Confidence that sends the covert message “My attentions are more valuable than your sexuality.” It rekindles that competition anxiety she thought she could comfortably slouch away from in an LTR with you after you affirm for her that SHE is your only source of sex. After a confident “No” her imagination starts working – “If he’s confident enough to tell me ‘no’ in spite of an overt knowledge that I’ll hold out on him, does that mean he’s confident enough to get sex elsewhere? Wont other women appreciate this confidence too?”

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  38. on March 22, 2010 at 1:39 pm Schmoe

    I like this advice and think it is sound, particularly for LTR’s. I had a recent situation where the insult was said inadvertently, then was used deliberately more than once when we were playfully chatting on the computers while sitting right across from each other. The first time, I let it go. The second time I couldn’t, so I threatened to leave instead. She stopped, but I think there might be another attempt at it in a public situation, so I’m ready now.

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  39. on March 22, 2010 at 1:42 pm xsplat

    Samois

    “So stop fucking carrying on about some fucked up entertainer you know nothing about.”

    She stopped. The conversation lulled. People around us in the bar were looking at us like I was an axe murderer. But I didn’t give a shit.

    Reminds me of antisocial alcoholic game. A game I’m most familiar with. Just not giving a fuck what anybody thinks, and having a wild good time.

    Oh, the embarassing stories I could tell. And yet all of them worked a treat in regards to the date. She seemed to view me the same way I viewed myself – far above the rules of convention.

    Sadly, I’ve given up the booze. I’m still an arrogant prick though, so I guess I’ve got that going for me. And even sober it’s hard to give up the habits of lewd behavior. When my life flashes before my eyes, it will be lewd.

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  40. on March 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm Peter

    In my experience, a woman would scream “get your hands off me!” or “don’t touch me!” and then disrespect me even more. Or even if it was done without the forearm grab, she would respond to my attempt to shut her up with more insults, like a toddler throwing a “You’re not the boss of me” fit.

    This reinforces my point about how this move needs to be part of a larger LTR game strategy.

    Either that, or this commentator just seems to attract women from a unique-but-not-uncommon subsection of the cunteterriat that I like to call the “Toxic Megasnatch”.

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  41. on March 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm Schmoe

    On a related note, I had a little fun with the Simon game this weekend around family. I came out of a long beta marriage, and there was some thought that I moved too quickly in ending it and moving on, so my new girlfriend was detecting a little backlash. I said in front of my family, “you just know when you have found someone special, and I’m very happy for her.” This played the beta switch technique, but inadvertently got my family on her side pulling for her. I didn’t apologize or back down, and she never brought it up. Great sex that night though.

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  42. on March 22, 2010 at 1:56 pm AmpFit

    Once the insults slip out in conversation, private or public, there’s a re-categorization of the relationship from “potential” to “two-weeks to termination”. No drama, no discussion. My time’s too valuable for low-class women.

    Tolerating foolishness is senseless, especially when there are so many opportunities abound.

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  43. on March 22, 2010 at 2:02 pm Anon

    @challenge

    You should end this promptly. A woman who thinks it’s ok to make shit up about you when it suits her purposes is a very very bad thing. It won’t be long before she finds it useful to make up worse things (i.e., you hit her, you have a drug problem, etc.) at the most unfortunate of times. It’s a power thing.

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  44. on March 22, 2010 at 2:31 pm Venusian Arts Knack

    @ Challenge

    First… You girl didnt lose shit. She was only annoyed in front of a chick she didnt give a fuck about anyway. She lost zero. You lost the chick

    Her: 1 You: 0

    Second… Once a girl lies about you in public its done. OVER. FINISHED. And she had the balls to do it right in FRONT of you. She didnt even try to snake you behind your back. WTF does that say about her respect for you???

    Whats 100% Beta about you… is you fucking went home with her! WTF dude???

    Seriously, putting aside the obvious fact that you needed to punish her publically, you went home and got no sex from a lying chick that publically embarassed you in front of strangers. The very least you could have did was punishment fuck her in the ass when you go home (no lube) then send the bitch packing.

    Now, thats only if you didnt punish her in the place. Id have looked at her and said point blank:

    “You know I have a restraining order against you. You arent supposed to be within 100 yards of me.”

    Let her protest. Whip out your phone point to the door and say “Get out or Im calling 911.”

    Let the Bar Tender know you just “dialed” the cops and they are going to have a mess if they dont get the bouncers to get the “crazy bitch” to the door.

    Let the Ho feel the sting of that shame.

    Yea… you are still gonna lose the girl, but I love handing out lessons.

    Score:

    Her: 1

    You: 5
    (Embarassed in front of bar: 2
    Embarassed in front of bartender and Bouncers: 2
    Public loss of boyfriend: 1 [since only you and she know])

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  45. on March 22, 2010 at 2:37 pm Fuck Kant

    If I fucked up and said something stupid and she called me dummy, I wouldn’t really care. I’d be glad.

    If I said the truth and she called me dummy, I’d just look at her friend and ask what she thought while making it obvious I was thinking about fucking the shit outta her.

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  46. on March 22, 2010 at 2:40 pm Fuck Kant

    @Vigilante

    Tony doesn’t use women correctly. They are supposed to test your frame and make you think about what you are doing so you don’t fuck up.

    Manny does the opposite and just wants to fuck any bitch.

    Hence why Manny idiotically fucks Tony’s sister.

    The correct play is a mixture of the two. Don’t fuck up shit that isn’t yours, but always look to other people to test your frame.

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  47. on March 22, 2010 at 2:41 pm Anonymous

    From my experience, a pretty good deselection principle for LTR material is a bad relationship with the father. For reasons I can’t figure out (I’m not paternalistic and my over-sexed folks, married now for over four decades, are quite happy with each other), and a pattern I only became aware of belatedly, most women I’ve gone out with come from divorced parents and have strained or non-existent relations with their fathers. They seem to need to reproduce or import something of their troubled relationship with their fathers into their amorous relationships. Not so with the few whose relations with their fathers were happy.

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  48. on March 22, 2010 at 2:42 pm Fuck Kant

    @hughman

    If a girl calls you a pussy, you’ve got more problems than girls.

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  49. on March 22, 2010 at 2:46 pm Fuck Kant

    @kick a bitch

    See you in jail, HOMEY.

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  50. on March 22, 2010 at 3:06 pm titan

    First mistake was totaly ignoring the first (private) insult. The better response is to laugh in her face at it (with the message and tone that: (a) you don’t care what she thinks (b) she is like a little child acting out that you won’t dignify by being effected).

    The second is playing physically overpowering when the second (public) insult comes. A cool, unaffected ‘you know where the door is’ is called for there.

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  51. on March 22, 2010 at 3:34 pm Dalrock

    I wouldn’t personally try this approach. It strikes me as too much like a scene out of streetcar named desire.

    My wife doesn’t do this kind of thing, but if she did I don’t think I’d have to say a word. She would catch herself after seeing the look on my face. We both agree that disrespecting the other isn’t cool.

    But if I did run into this problem, I would tease her while re-framing to point out how unattractive this kind of behavior is. Feel free to insert your own favorite term in lieu of “ball buster” or “harpy” below.

    Her: Gets in a cheap shot to impress her bitchy friends.

    Me: (feigns concern for the time) “We need to get going so you don’t miss your ball busters anonymous meeting.”
    If that isn’t enough, mention that she wanted to get there early this week because Janet Reno will be the guest speaker.

    or

    “This episode of ball busting with [insert her name] brought to you by…” alternately “This has been ball busting with [her name]. Tune in next week to see…”

    or

    “Whoa! Hey, back up the harpy truck”

    or (if new relationship, said with a big grin)

    “Tell me girls, how long do most guys put up with this before she is over at your house polishing off your ice cream?”

    My wife told me about a case where a woman was berating her husband at the supermarket checkout line. After putting up with her bitching for a while, he said in a loud voice “Hey, stand back men, this one’s taken!”

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  52. on March 22, 2010 at 3:50 pm titan

    “Tell me girls, how long do most guys put up with this before she is over at your house polishing off your ice cream?”

    Now that is a good one!

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  53. on March 22, 2010 at 3:52 pm Gunslingergregi

    ””””Fuck Kant
    @kick a bitch

    See you in jail, HOMEY.
    ””””’

    That was actually a mellow toned down kick a bitch lol

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  54. on March 22, 2010 at 3:58 pm The realist

    whats this about sweden anyways from what iv’e been hearing the crime rate there is a big problem, with twice the rape rate of the UK and yet a quarter of the convictions. Same with Finland highest murder rate in europe. Norway is doing OK because of decent amount of oil. Generally these countries do ok because of a racially homogenous population and low population density.

    But don’t kid yourselves. Sweden hasn’t done shit since Alfred Nobel, and the Brits and americans took over innovation from there.

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  55. on March 22, 2010 at 4:01 pm The realist

    whooooops ignore that post wrong topic ahaha

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  56. on March 22, 2010 at 4:28 pm Paul

    You could not be more correct about the divorced parents thing. AS SOON AS a girl tells you her parents are divorced, make up your mind to hit it one last time then initiate the break-up sequence.

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  57. on March 22, 2010 at 4:29 pm Dat_Truth_Hurts

    Does Wayne Brady have to slap a ho?

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  58. on March 22, 2010 at 4:31 pm Chi-town

    I think Don Corleone did it right with Sunny. Just excuse her behavior to the others like she is a spoiled child.

    If she said I was stupid, I would assertively enter the conversation and just say. “Oh she does that from time to time to people, she just will call a person an idiot.” I have been meaning to talk to her about that, but pay no attention to it. Its just a bad habit.” Put her on the defensive and even make it up a bit. Change the topic to the problem she has. Just act calmly. Counter humiliation is better than confrontation.

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  59. on March 22, 2010 at 4:39 pm whiskey

    I would not use a “touch” because it shows you react too much. Rather, I would come back with a backhanded compliment (generally on the sore spot for women, particularly attractive women, hitting on intellect/knowledge) and thinly disguised innuendo that you have other options.

    Of course, for this to work you MUST have other options, and she has to believe it. I.E.

    Her: “Your stupid! Dummy!”
    [LEAN IN, SMIRK]
    Me: “That’s true. I didn’t go to cosmetology school like you. Or spend an extra year there gaining knowledge.”
    Her: “That’s stupid! Idiot!”
    Me: “Are we still on for next week? Cause _____ called me up for a night of fun.” [Shake head, walk away. Act extra arrogant.]

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  60. on March 22, 2010 at 4:53 pm Madras

    If it was a really big insult the spoiled child line sounds on the right track.

    Otherwise, don’t actually say anything — but just go get a beer and talk to some other people around the bar (best if they were girls, but obviously in the real world this isnt always a sure option.) Show your disaproval but don’t make a scene. Making a scene is the sign of a true nancy-boy in these situations. And what Roissy describes comes close to making a scene.

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  61. on March 22, 2010 at 4:54 pm anoukange

    “As an alpha male, you let it slide. You know that a highly self-possessed man won’t sweat the small stuff.”

    –Yeah, you should pass this around a bit more…I don’t think enough guys get this. Too much hyper paranoia and tender egos out there.

    “As you suspected would happen, (and the reason for your prior mental note-taking), a month later she disrespected you again with the same insult. Except this time she did it to you in front of a group of her friends while out at a social venue”

    –ooohhh. Big no no ladies. Never do this, especially if he is high up in said social circle or has a professional image to maintain.

    your reaction? Um, you showed your ass. An alpha never shows his ass in public. You should have stood up, excused the both of you for a moment, walked her outside, hailed a cab, put her in it. Go back inside and tell the company that your companion was suddenly feeling ill, have a scotch.

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  62. on March 22, 2010 at 4:54 pm Madras

    Also…in general the big advice is just to realize that this sort of stuff matters in LTR’s….too many guys are clueless even to that.

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  63. on March 22, 2010 at 5:06 pm Chuck

    If that verbal exchange happened where I live, the male would be going to jail for domestic violence.

    I know it’s BS, but it happens.

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  64. on March 22, 2010 at 5:45 pm Bill daH

    I did really well keeping a strong alpha woman in line for about 18 months. One time, she glared at me and yelled at me. “How could you even think that?” “What the fuck were you thinking?”

    So I let it slide, since we were heading to a hotel. Inside the room, I said to her, “OK, you were shooting off your mouth before, let’s see what you got.” She’s an expert at martial arts — I’m just a big guy that used to wrestle.

    Double leg takedown on the bed — and she’s fighting me. Pretty strong, too. But in a few seconds I flipped her on her back and she surrendered. Never mind what she did next — let’s just say it was a reward.

    Unfortunately, a few months after that, I lost my job. Ninety percent of my game went out with me … and she smelled beta blood, and yes, pushed and pushed and pushed until I finally just dumped her last week.

    It’s a shame — but it seems that without my career and secure life (which I had had for years — in spades), I just couldn’t maintain my confidence.

    The good news — now that I’ve had the strength to dump her (which I should’ve done a long time ago), my confidence is returning.

    Now I need to learn to maintain confidence regardless of life’s circumstances.

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  65. on March 22, 2010 at 5:59 pm Tupac Chopra

    I’ve been coming around to the view that attempting anything resembling an LTR or “dating seriously” is a non-starter for those of us in the feminized west. It’s just such an exhausting balancing act to strike with these spoiled brats. I’m beginning to think one should go full throttle in one of two directions: either you are serious about relationships and you find a traditional woman, whether in a religious comunity or overseas, who understands how to treat an Alpha Provider (utilizing LTR game of course), or you say fuck it and adopt a devil-may-care attitude with full-on sluts and fuck-buddies, with absolutely no expectation of fidelity on their part.

    But the middle-of-the-road, neither-here-nor-there situations Roissy has quizzed us on recently strike me as a doomed enterprise.

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  66. on March 22, 2010 at 6:08 pm Doug1

    Challenge, you started out ok, with your semi subtle implications that she was making stuff up, but then to seal the deal and make it clear to the group listening in and the girl you were flirting with, you should have said in an even tone of voice directly to her: you know 1) I find it annoying when you completely make something up out of whole cloth, and 2) talk smack about me just because I’m talking with another girl. I expect more loyalty from anyone who’s going to be with me. Have I made myself clear?

    Do that once and a serious look from you will check her in future. If not and she wants to go nuclear on you, dump her.

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  67. on March 22, 2010 at 6:21 pm Doug1

    Chuck–

    If that verbal exchange happened where I live, the male would be going to jail for domestic violence.

    I know it’s BS, but it happens.

    The one Roissy outlined?

    No it wouldn’t and doesn’t happen – not for that. There needs to be a credible threat of imminent physical violence, and in most places significant violence. What does happen is that women lie about this and judges are often prepared to take what they say at face value. But you have witnesses.

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  68. on March 22, 2010 at 6:28 pm Brody

    since when is fucking considered stalking?

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  69. on March 22, 2010 at 6:33 pm dana

    what are you, in the UN with this girl? nuke her from orbit immediately, if she doesn’t like it let her leave, because you are better than her and have lots of options and could give a fuck if she stays or not

    jesus, maybe i am really a man

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  70. on March 22, 2010 at 6:34 pm Bill daH

    One thing: I got so beta in my depression that she made a joke and called me a wimp. Now, I was clinically, suicidally depressed at the time. Just had the life sucked out of me.

    So she comes out with the wimp comment and I didn’t even analyze or think about it. I looked her in the eye and said, “Still can kick your ass.”

    She laughed and that love/respect came back into her eyes. Still, I was sick of the shit-testing while I was depressed. Once I left her, the depression’s starting to recede.

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  71. on March 22, 2010 at 6:40 pm Polymath

    Paul,

    Women from divorced families can be bad news for LTRs but it depends. For some women, if you can be strong enough and confident enough, you’ll avoid repeating the patterns she grew up with and she’ll accept your frame completely and happily.

    For this to work, you have to have come from an intact family yourself (essential to project the conviction that you know best) and she has to not be under her mother’s thumb. If she and her mother gang up on you, tell her that life is too short to waste any of it in such dysfunction and she can come back to you when she’s grown up, which had better occur fast because you’re not going to mope around waiting.

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  72. on March 22, 2010 at 6:47 pm Anonymous

    Take shit, you’ll get shit-on. Don’t take shit, she’ll get wet. (Manliness, you know.)

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  73. on March 22, 2010 at 6:53 pm The realist

    @Bill Dah

    Happens to the best of us bro, heck i’d venture a guess Obama and gordon Brown are regularly popping medz for that shit. If your feeling down with depression/anxiety/OCD or whatever it is speak to your mum, sister, Doctor….

    ANYONE BUT YOUR FUCKING GF. Never show real weakness to a woman, never show any weakness that isn’t carefully targetted to get you even more pussy.

    And yeah stop attaching your confidence to your career, in fact attach it to ANYTHING but your career. Your career is a living, you do it for money, not for validation. The last thing you need is bitches loving you for your job unless it’s being a film star/sports/anything that makes you SUPER rich. Thats how you become a sucker.

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  74. on March 22, 2010 at 7:10 pm Carlton Grey

    Holy shit!

    It turns out that women actually desire strong leadership. (sarcasm)

    It’s imperative that we Western men provide it, given the alternative. (no sarcasm)

    http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/1227/p01s04-woeu.html

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  75. on March 22, 2010 at 7:32 pm Laura

    I was at a party this weekend and one wife started calling her husband to come over to her in an annoyed tone of voice. It was kind of embarrassing for everyone.
    Also, my husband sometimes doesn’t call me on bad behavior and then when I realize I was wrong I feel stupid and I’m angry at him for not saying something to me right away. Your wife or girlfriend might actually appreciate the constructive criticism.

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  76. on March 22, 2010 at 8:13 pm Lupo

    Let Elvis show you the way.

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  77. on March 22, 2010 at 8:14 pm Lupo

    Erm, somehow the photo didn’t work, but anyway:

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  78. on March 22, 2010 at 8:22 pm anoukange

    Brant said: “somehow dummy seems worse than motherfu**er…”

    I agree.

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  79. on March 22, 2010 at 8:24 pm luvsic

    Citizen Renegade is disappointing.

    Roissy had an intriguing quotient to it.

    CR reminds me of gang names we came up w/ as kids.

    We usually tried to combine two words we thought were cool, and ended up w/ stuff like War Eagles or Blood Wolves.

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  80. on March 22, 2010 at 8:37 pm PlanetGrok

    “motherfucker” isn’t really an insult these days, for some reason.

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  81. on March 22, 2010 at 8:44 pm Black Flag

    Oh, yes. Yes.

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  82. on March 22, 2010 at 8:54 pm Challenge

    Roissy, I am alarmed at the sheer insanity of some of your followers. They advocate dumping women left and right; a strict no-tolerance policy on any female behavior other than sheer obedience. I’d be surprised if they can get through an entire conversation with one without throwing their collective drinks at her and bolting.

    Thinking on my situation, what I should have said was, “But you’re not Asian.” Implying that at the beginning of our relationship, I was facebook stalking her. The other girl could have a laugh, it would remind my girl who I’m with, and nobody would win or lose.

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  83. on March 22, 2010 at 9:18 pm The realist

    @Challenge

    didn’t your gf make up complete bullshit right in front of you?

    I’d be seriously disturbed. Remember, the only traits she is displaying are dishonesty and the desire to control you. There is nothing sweet about it, no “awwww shes jealous how cute”, understand that bitches will become jealous and controlling EVEN IF THEY THEMSELVES ARE DOING THE DIRTY ON YOU. Her NOT fucking around on you is sweet and admirable. Making up bullshit stories about you to other people really isn’t.

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  84. on March 22, 2010 at 9:19 pm The realist

    Who knows you could be the person she lies to next to serve her own self interest.

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  85. on March 22, 2010 at 9:20 pm Carlton Grey

    about “motherfucker,”

    it has been a term of endearment among jazzmen for years.

    and that usage has been gaining ground in mainstream culture. Heck, the Epic Beard Man gave an interview in which he declared himself a motherfucker. Literally. “I am a motherfucker.”

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  86. on March 22, 2010 at 9:26 pm finefantastic

    did she call you “bearsnatch”?

    i still think that is the greatest band name ever.

    i would thank her for the tip then say “well, back to the bin with you, dumpbear.”

    lots of bears coming out of the woodwork early this season, up here in canada.

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  87. on March 22, 2010 at 9:58 pm anoukange

    Carlton–about the term motherfucker..”it has been a term of endearment among jazzmen for years.”

    Indeed! So cool that you bring that up.

    also, motherfucker has some spark, some zest…she’s still crazy about you, you light her fire. Dummy on the other hand- is a dead man walking.

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  88. on March 22, 2010 at 10:39 pm Bill

    Guys can call each other bitches, but no woman should attempt such a feat.

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  89. on March 22, 2010 at 11:34 pm Aspiring2bAlphA

    What about getting slapped?

    This post reminds me of one of the only times I’ve ever been slapped by a girl. I was 13 or 14 at the time and in the pre/pseudo-asshole stage of growing a dick. I said something scathing and dickish to my older sister’s friend. Said friend was a gymnast and ridiculously muscular (still sexy but you know it’d be like fucking a log). I can’t recall what was said; regardless, knowing the girl, she deserved it. I only remember the consequence. I got a whollop upside my face that left a few days long mark.

    Since this incident I’ve wondered on occasion what an appropriate response could be. A girl slap to the face renders a man helpless. What can a man do to salvage any shred of pride?

    Several years later I found my answer. I witnessed a cunt completely lashing out at some dude. He wasn’t having any of it. Out of nowhere she puts everything she has into a slap. Not moving any other part of his body, he caught her wrist not two inches from his face, held it there, stared her down for some powerful moments and said in perfect crowd stopping form, “Don’t you ever fucking try hitting me again!”

    This is the epitome of alpha and what I’ve aspired to since… though I’ve never been in this situation again, I wonder if I’d have the frame of mind to replicate the display. Roissy posts tests of game and alphaness but in such a moment where absolutely no thought or calculation can take place and only instinct exists, how would you react, supposed alphas?

    This is one of the few true tests of game.

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  90. on March 22, 2010 at 11:42 pm lovelysexybeauty

    If you are the type of man who enjoys administering punishment and thrills at the prospect of psychologically outwitting your lover, then you may find this kind of woman preferable. If you’re a man who wishes only the company of women so sweetly feminine in their enthrallment to you that they would never even consider challenging your dominance, then you should find a different woman to love.

    This division between men has become clearer over time on this blog. I think some men actually like the challenge of taming a feisty woman, over a woman who is super duper easy to get along with (a “doormat”).

    This leads to girls thinking men like those of us who are a little “difficult.” That they enjoy taming us. It’s interesting.

    @Bill DaH

    So she comes out with the wimp comment and I didn’t even analyze or think about it. I looked her in the eye and said, “Still can kick your ass.”

    I found that touching somehow. Glad you are out of depression.

    I think some women think men respond to being challenged or something, and therefore try to insult them to inspire them. I’m serious. I heard that in one of the Rocky movies, his wife basically calls him a p_ssy for giving up and that he should grow some you-know-whats. And that he appreciates her for that?

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  91. on March 22, 2010 at 11:44 pm lovelysexybeauty

    @Challenge

    They advocate dumping women left and right; a strict no-tolerance policy on any female behavior other than sheer obedience. I’d be surprised if they can get through an entire conversation with one without throwing their collective drinks at her and bolting.

    Hahahahahahahaaha hilarioussssssss

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  92. on March 22, 2010 at 11:48 pm GayButtox

    lovelysexybuttox,

    I’ll show you taming….

    It shall be your privilege and goal to :

    (wait for it, wait for it)……

    Detox my Buttox.

    -GB

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  93. on March 22, 2010 at 11:50 pm DJDamage

    “Eventually, even your girl has managed to reconstitute herself, although you note with great pride the look of hatred her ugly BFF shoots you”

    That was pretty funny.

    Although if your are aware the girl you are currently dating has a “BFF” (or a better word a beta orbitor) whom she is close too, its best not to commit to her.

    Its also at this stage best not to even have a stupid get together with her friends, that should be done on her time not yours. In the early stages of dating before you qualify her, her friends and family should not even be around they can mostly only hinder not help your chances.

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  94. on March 23, 2010 at 12:23 am BetaMan

    This has happened to me about 6 months ago (not surprisingly) and I flipped out on her on the ride home and she was very apologetic.

    She was sitting across from me at the time and looking back on it I feel a hard kick under the table combined w/my facial expressions would have been more than enough.

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  95. on March 23, 2010 at 12:44 am Pupu

    Public confrontation of private conflicts are unwise because most minor conflicts in private life are merely flux. Public confrontation can turn an insignificant private event into something truly awful and irreconcilable. In private, things can be kept till a bit rotten to bring out their full sweetness; in public, what is rotten is out of its shelf life.

    This is from Pupu, who has been called an idiot for countless times 🙂

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  96. on March 23, 2010 at 1:32 am LILGRL

    I’m going to have to agree with Pupu and others here who have talked about public vs. private confrontation. These kinds of confrontations should generally be kept away from the public eye.

    Naturally, it depends on how she is acting, in public, toward you. If she’s being particularly rude, then yes…well, she shouldn’t be doing that, and you two need to talk. Unfortunately, this kind of thing is usually just embarrassing for any uninvolved parties, awkward for the two of you, and humiliating for the confrontee. Doesn’t exactly leave the greatest impression–nobody likes it when someone airs dirty laundry in public. Really.

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  97. on March 23, 2010 at 2:26 am Patrick

    LILGRL,

    That’s the entire point of taking such action — to preempt any future public airings of private matters through her passive- or outright aggressive behavior.

    Remember, the man’s goal isn’t to save face and maintain the group’s comfort or cohesion. It is to keep his woman’s conduct toward him to his liking, in private as well as public.

    Any social embarrassment and awkwardness resulting from this will be on her shoulders for thinking she could treat a self-respecting man this way.

    There are instances where pulling a girlfriend aside to admonish her is preferable, but a man who doesn’t care if he scandalizes other people with his frank expression of intolerance for his woman’s poor behavior will be endeared to her and that’s what matters.

    If he has to explain respect to her, he’s already lost it.

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  98. on March 23, 2010 at 2:42 am LILGRL

    Patrick,

    I agree that you need to take action. However, unless this was a really serious situation, this kind of public action isn’t going to do you any good–it may “endear you to her,” I won’t argue with that. And, assuming your ONLY GOAL IN LIFE is to maintain your alpha frame SOLELY in the context of your relationship, then fine.

    Usually, though…it’s not. First of all, very few–although there are a few–guys can pull off this sort of public confrontation in a movie-like, rogue-ish way, but most guys are just going to look like big douchebags. Sorry, but it’s true. Generally speaking, private matters should be kept private. If she’s airing private matters–then shame on her. If she’s insulting you, again, shame on her–and you absolutely need to address this. But addressing this publicly, as Pupu pointed out, can turn something that would otherwise be an understanding into a big misunderstanding.

    I’m not talking about a more serious situation, such as if your girlfriend gets into a big fight with you and tells everyone in the room every embarrassing thing about you that she can possibly think of, including all your deepest, darkest secrets…but I feel that should be obvious.

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  99. on March 23, 2010 at 2:49 am unlearning genius ...

    “This is from Pupu, who has been called an idiot for countless times ”
    The third person usage is idiotic .. your fake humility barely covers up your gigantic vanity .. you obviously “know” that you are wise beyond the years .. every time i see your post, i puke …

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  100. on March 23, 2010 at 3:39 am Mr.M

    Lilgrl –

    I bet epoxy could pull it off in a movie-like, rogue-ish way.

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  101. on March 23, 2010 at 3:46 am Tupac Chopra

    you obviously “know” that you are wise beyond the years ..

    I would like to know Pupu’s age.

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  102. on March 23, 2010 at 4:06 am LILGRL

    Mr.M

    Well, who here would like to step it up and claim they are as alpha as Epoxy?

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  103. on March 23, 2010 at 4:50 am xsplat

    Aspiring

    but in such a moment where absolutely no thought or calculation can take place and only instinct exists, how would you react,

    Well, your question is your answer. In times where there is no time to think, and you rest on reactions, you rest on habit. What you need to do to prepare for such times is build up a repertoire of habit. Life experience.

    All the advice given here is merely life experience put into words. It’s a guide that helps you develop your own habits. But without actually being sexually social with lots of girls, you won’t have the inbuilt habit that works on fast reaction times.

    This blog and advice like it are great to train yourself to notice dominance and social roles and how you can manipulate them. It helps you learn and develop a mindset. But its theory that requires practice to be internalized.

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  104. on March 23, 2010 at 5:08 am xsplat

    I need to note that when it comes to not making a public scene, there are priorities.

    You are the priority.

    If your girl values propriety over what you think, she needs to be set straight.

    You are the priority.

    She needs to worry more about what you think than what others think.

    If she doesn’t, and fucks you over publicly, do onto her, but do it better. What do you have to lose? The valueation that her friends put on you? That the crowd in the bar puts on you? Let me tell you, it’s counter intuitive how this works. If you make a scene and cow her, you come off as an arrogant bastard prick who is in charge. Which is a hell of a lot better than coming off as a nice regular guy who is getting shit on by a bitch.

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  105. on March 23, 2010 at 5:36 am Nacirema

    Its a sick sick world, Im just glad Im not an idiot.

    By idiot, I mean the kind of Mary who takes that kind of shit from a woman he is supposedly fucking.

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  106. on March 23, 2010 at 6:37 am Karen

    Dalrock
    My wife told me about a case where a woman was berating her husband at the supermarket checkout line. After putting up with her bitching for a while, he said in a loud voice “Hey, stand back men, this one’s taken!”

    That was funny.

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  107. on March 23, 2010 at 7:02 am krauserpua

    If the insult is public, so must the rebuke be. It’s a difficult line to keep – being non-reactive but also not taking shit.

    Rollo Tomassi gets this week’s “Pithy Observations of Others” on my blog for a fantastic comment.

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  108. on March 23, 2010 at 7:48 am Dilbert Hole

    LILGRL
    Mr.M

    Well, who here would like to step it up and claim they are as alpha as Epoxy?

    So LILGRL is the Internets equivalent of a bar skank who tries to get her meathead boyfriend into a fight, so’s she can elevate her own status. Never would’ve guessed it.

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  109. on March 23, 2010 at 7:48 am anoukange

    Another point to consider is the age gap. If the man is at least ten years older then he should handle himself with more grace under pressure. Take her home, have your way with her as “punishment”. If she is insulting you in public that equals out to one of two things; she is either young, stupid and inexperienced, (or) she has lost respect for you somehow and if you care to, you must earn it back. With a guy in his early forties and a girl who is in her late twenties, is it the guy who should set the lines up by example. There is nothing sexier than a cool, calm, collect response in public (with a possible firm elbow squeeze as you guide her to the exit) and then wordless rough sex to follow. If you own her, she won’t challenge you. When dating each other, neither guy nor girl should cut the other in public, ever.

    Related thought: Game is so much more fun and advanced in long terms because all words and actions are loaded with investment and brain power behind them. Shallow hook-us don’t give the proper canvas to apply the best game skills. One is just being an actor, it’s not real. Most gets lost in translation. Long term allows the time for someone to see your best moves. If any dude is claiming that they had a girl fall in love with them in under six months he is a liar and is delusional. You are a true, true alpha is she is madly in love with you a year, two, six, ten into it. If she has seen you at your worst and she still loves you, you are an alpha man because you have proven your core is alpha not your image alone. Core alphas have been known to come in “beta” and “alpha” outside forms ladies, so look deeper, always. Any dude trying too hard to prove he’s an alpha most likely is not.

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  110. on March 23, 2010 at 7:50 am Nicole

    Practice on female friends.

    We don’t like to be your fallbacks or crash test dummies on your way to a hotter or what you’d consider a more worthy mate, but we are women, and good bitch handling skills require practice, even for naturals.

    Your female friends should respect you, and treat you extra respectfully in public. I’ve noticed that many guys who are kind if punks in relationships also have female friends treat them like emotional tampons and psychological punching bags.

    Females in your social circle can be part of your social proofing, and it’s a very bad thing if you are behaving as if you are lower ranking in the group than they are. Very bad.

    So practice dominance with them. None of them should be calling you names or getting away with bad behavior. You should also feel comfortable with physical guidance with them, as well as keeping them in check and preventing them from making scenes and the like.

    It’s like in martial arts where you do katas and spar, so that when a real fight comes along, your reactions are automatic.

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  111. on March 23, 2010 at 9:09 am Pupu

    Hey, unlearning, make sure you are wearing a nice looking bib before letting out all that idiotic puke 😉

    Tupac, will knowing that Pupu is younger than you disturb that adorable inner peace of yours? 🙂

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  112. on March 23, 2010 at 9:19 am mako

    Personnally, the last chick who did this.

    I gave the same rant to also, worked like a charm.

    But I also walked out on her, left her hanging in the bar.

    Cue – 5 minutes later my phone was ringing, which I ignored.

    Went out with my mates, ignored the mass amount of phone calls this chick was sending me, looked over the massive amount of text messages whilst in a bar with my mates, not replying to any.

    The next day when she rang, I spoke to her and she couldn’t have apologised enough, but whilst trying to say sorry, she did try to spin it around to be me being a dick because I wouldn’t speak to her – Which I knocked on the head instantly, and she became putty in my hands.

    Sex was great afterwards, she was like a kitten in my hands. I eventually finished with her, when she called me her ex-bf name – yeh sounds petty, but I had other options and it pissed me off at the time.

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  113. on March 23, 2010 at 10:33 am Flahute

    I don’t agree with those ‘alphas’ who say oh just be cool, no big deal. In my experience, you must not let your women get away with any disrespect ever. You need to call her on it every time. He should have addressed it the first time in private that he doesn’t appreciate being insulted and that he doesn’t insult her. Treat your woman with respect and demand the same in return.

    On the question of addressing it in public vs. private, Woland has it right.

    The general rule in business management is the if the faux pas is public then the rebuke needs to be public and if it is private then the rebuke should be private. Another rule is that action speaks louder than words. I would say to not show anger, but to let her know in uncertain terms that you do not allow people to speak that way to you; anybody. Do it right then in front of her friends right then.

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  114. on March 23, 2010 at 11:14 am Nicole

    Lilgirl, I’ve been in situations where a girl has escalated after a male friend of mine checked her on bad behavior in public.

    Nobody ever thought the guy was a douchbag, but we did think that maybe he picked the wrong girl. Once, when one girl was really bad, I stood up and told her, “He can’t hit you, but I can.”

    She shut up. He laughed. Then we all laughed. She was a good girl the rest of the night.

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  115. on March 23, 2010 at 11:15 am unlearning genius

    Real men don’t NEG, they insult.

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  116. on March 23, 2010 at 11:19 am Doug1

    LiLGirl

    First of all, very few–although there are a few–guys can pull off this sort of public confrontation in a movie-like, rogue-ish way, but most guys are just going to look like big douchebags. Sorry, but it’s true. Generally speaking, private matters should be kept private. If she’s airing private matters–then shame on her. If she’s insulting you, again, shame on her–and you absolutely need to address this. But addressing this publicly, as Pupu pointed out, can turn something that would otherwise be an understanding into a big misunderstanding.

    I very much agree with this as a general matter. As well I’ll add that a good part of why most guys have a hard time pulling it off well (which I disagree is actually that hard to do if you’re alpha enough and haven’t lost your own cool from embarrassment or whatever), but it’s still better to not air it in public but talk to her privately. Perhaps in intermediate situations by pulling her aside for a private discussion right then and there – which will be rather obvious to people. But it’s still not nearly as much of a demand that the group take sides as rebuking her publicly will be, which they’ll be reluctant to do usually or anyway to take the guy’s side, so strong has the feminist and remaining false chivalric expectations of our culture become. That’s part of what makes it difficult for a guy to do it well, much harder than for a girl to rebuke her man for publicly embarrassing her.

    For these reasons when starting up a relationship I generally find an early opportunity to say to her that I can’t stand any kind of airing of our personal laundry in public or any kinds of insults even if mild. I tell her that I won’t do that to you, but if you ever think i have inadvertently, take me aside and tell me, and I’ll stop it. I expect the same from you. Are we agreed on this?

    The situation that Challenge outlined though seemed pretty egregious and consciously deliberate. She was making something up to embarrass him in front of someone he was just mildly socially flirty with. I assumed he’d already had airing laundry talks with her and she was doing it anyway, out of a sense of entitlement. In that kind of situation I would do just as I described.

    As well I think messages against tolerating harridan behavior SHOULD be occasionally made for group edification and demonstration, whether the group likes it or not. Of course if I had to do that kind of thing with a particular girl much, the relationship wouldn’t work for me. But if she gets the message, ok. Girls do tend to need an occasional check of one degree or another.

    [editor: the commenter above who wrote this:

    The general rule in business management is if the faux pas is public then the rebuke needs to be public and if it is private then the rebuke should be private.

    is correct. similarly to business relations, if your woman insults you in private, you discipline her in private. if she insults you in public, you discipline her in public. it’s that simple. and it works.]

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  117. on March 23, 2010 at 11:56 am Nicole

    Doug, from the point of view of a very assertive woman who doesn’t take crap from anybody, the culture is not feminist enough anywhere that harpy behavior in public is viewed as a good thing.

    Even in the mind of the most Lesbian woman I know, a psycho bitch brings the party down. A woman starts saying embarassing things about her man, or calls him out of his name, and all anuses in the room begin to tighten up.

    Nature always trumps trends. No matter what anyone says, nobody is going to think you’re particularly evil for checking her. Nobody.

    Everybody will be glad you got her under control before she made the scene uncomfortable. If a guy is actually letting his woman get away with that kind of thing, it’s as awkward to be there as if a guy drank too much, and starts freaking out over an ex or something. I want to be anywhere but there at that moment.

    The feeling when a guy takes the lead when his woman is getting out of hand, is nothing but relief.

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  118. on March 23, 2010 at 11:59 am Saya

    The premise is fine but this is pathetic execution, all around.

    Handle your woman physically in private, but if you can’t manage her and command her attention without laying your hands on her in public, then you’re the one who needs reprimanding, and pity.

    [editor: putting your hand on her forearm is not physical assault you femmy nerd.]

    Same goes for if you’re unable to command her without talking down to her, making fun of her, humiliating her in public.

    That’s not to say that when she misbehaves in public then you let it all slide,
    but display some dignity and respect for yourself, for your relationship, for her (and for the people present in your company), and coolly say only what is necessary to get her attention and let her know her conduct was unacceptable.

    Afterward, when you’re alone together, you can have it out more thoroughly by discussing the issue in depth, punishing her physically, and/or allowing her to coax your forgiveness; whatever your preferences may be.

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  119. on March 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm Nicole

    Saya, I disagree.

    Touch says things that words can’t. We’re not talking about smacking her. We’re talking about hand on the arm, holding the arm, or guidance gestures.

    With a woman who has a lot of self discipline, a look is enough, but that’s not most women. Women with a lot of self discipline don’t go there in the first place.

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  120. on March 23, 2010 at 12:10 pm The realist

    Of course you call her on it public. And you do it forcefully too.

    Theres no such thing as avoiding confrontation in this situation, the confrontation was initiated by HER. Anything else is backing down in a big way.

    Please if you aren’t Alpha enough to pull this off don’t dress it up as being civil or appropriate, just because admit it is because you are low status and the reaction of others around determines pretty much wholely your behaviour. That makes you a pussy end of.

    If calling your own gf out on blatant insults in public is the most outrageous or “innappropriate” thing you’ve ever done or can imagine doing, you really are a pussy. But don’t worry, thats why you are here. Learn from the master.

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  121. on March 23, 2010 at 12:18 pm The realist

    @ Saya

    I agree you don’t have to put hands on her. But its an option, being an Alpha it really is up to you whether you touch your own girlfriend or not, publicly or privately. It’s certainly not something you should be worrying about either way, it would either just happen or not.

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  122. on March 23, 2010 at 12:21 pm D. Ray Morton

    @Aspiring2bAlphA
    “What about getting slapped?

    This post reminds me of one of the only times I’ve ever been slapped by a girl. I was 13 or 14 at the time and in the pre/pseudo-asshole stage of growing a dick. I said something scathing and dickish to my older sister’s friend. Said friend was a gymnast and ridiculously muscular (still sexy but you know it’d be like fucking a log). I can’t recall what was said; regardless, knowing the girl, she deserved it. I only remember the consequence. I got a whollop upside my face that left a few days long mark.

    Since this incident I’ve wondered on occasion what an appropriate response could be. A girl slap to the face renders a man helpless. What can a man do to salvage any shred of pride?

    Several years later I found my answer. I witnessed a cunt completely lashing out at some dude. He wasn’t having any of it. Out of nowhere she puts everything she has into a slap. Not moving any other part of his body, he caught her wrist not two inches from his face, held it there, stared her down for some powerful moments and said in perfect crowd stopping form, “Don’t you ever fucking try hitting me again!”

    This is the epitome of alpha and what I’ve aspired to since… though I’ve never been in this situation again, I wonder if I’d have the frame of mind to replicate the display. Roissy posts tests of game and alphaness but in such a moment where absolutely no thought or calculation can take place and only instinct exists, how would you react, supposed alphas?

    This is one of the few true tests of game.”

    Underrated post. It’s a great question. Would love to hear Roissy’s (and others’) thoughts on this.

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  123. on March 23, 2010 at 12:21 pm Nicole

    On the real, this is one of those things that is related to your fathering skills. If you have trouble doing physical guidance with a woman, she’s getting a not so subconscious message that you couldn’t handle kids either.

    By the time you have kids, you must be good at balanced rebuking and physical guidance. I think a good bit of women testing guys has to do with seeing what kind of father they would make.

    Unfortunately, if you prove to her that you’re a wimp, she’s going to turn your kids against you too. I’ve seen it happen.

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  124. on March 23, 2010 at 12:29 pm barbbabbs

    omg why are you llozers hangin oput with chix in social situations?

    lozlzlzlzl!!

    do u know how many cocks she has had in her mouth?

    so who cares what she says?

    once a chick has another dude’s cok in her mouth, it doesn’t matter what else comes out of it.

    l.zozlzlzl!

    you guys are such looooozers to be sitting there caring about what chix are saying as they spit up the gallons of yesteryear’s spluge.

    lzozlzllz!

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  125. on March 23, 2010 at 12:33 pm Saya

    Hand on the arm/guidance gestures does not equate grabbing her forearm firmly and squeezing. _Having_ to grab her indicates that you’re not able to command her attention otherwise.
    Again, it’s not that you can’t discipline her publicly, and certainly not that you should be letting bad behavior from her slide, but the execution described in this post is simply unimpressive; I would not expect it to be either respected nor heeded by worthy females.
    If public humilation is what you’re aiming for, then that’s one thing (and you’re not probably not taking it far enough), but that’s very different from disciipline/maintaining authority.
    @The realist, I agree that touch is an option, would happen or not, and could be quite effective; but the text of the post indicated that this was a key action: “firmly wrap your hand around her foreamr….squeeze your grip on her forearm tighter and address her louder than before”
    all of that reads more like beta behavior whining for respect, which is apparently undeserved.

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  126. on March 23, 2010 at 12:35 pm The realist

    @Barbbabbs

    You’re fucking crazy but i love you!!

    Good point i wouldn’t be sitting at a dinner table or socialising with any old sluts friends, she’d have to be a cut above the rest. But then thats why its important to get shit like this right, understand? Thats why its called LTR game instead of Bar skank game.

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  127. on March 23, 2010 at 12:38 pm The realist

    @Saya

    Yeah i agree if you overcook it or think to hard about, your behaviour could easily come of as awkward, disturbing and VERY beta, but chances are if thats the case you’ve been in the wrong frame all along, and mere discipline can’t save you. It’s best to do what feels most natural in the situation.

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  128. on March 23, 2010 at 12:48 pm vicmackey

    roissy,

    what if after you reprimand her she reacts something like “oh do not be so touchy” and laugh, or tries to shrugs it off somehow?

    another reprimand (but wouldn’t you seem then overly touchy?) or what?

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  129. on March 23, 2010 at 12:54 pm Saya

    @editor re:[editor: putting your hand on her forearm is not physical assault you femmy nerd.]

    Heh. Those words are yours, not mine.
    I’m not against firm disciplining in public, and I’m not against proper physical discipline in public, (the key as in most things is exercising sound judgment) but I maintain that if she does not take you seriously unless you’re grabbing/squeezing her arm, then you’ve got it wrong to begin with.
    Even with the example as it was presented in your post, I asserted that your premise is correct, and I would hope you know your shit on this subject in general
    but among other things, you seem easily miffed, and that’s something the best do not bow to.
    Perhaps it’s just a misrepresentation of you in this narrow instance.

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  130. on March 23, 2010 at 1:08 pm The realist

    @Vicmackey

    Then you lay into the bitch when you get back home. I’m talking choking, backhand pimpsmacking, tiring the bitch up.

    Then you ditch her.

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  131. on March 23, 2010 at 1:09 pm The realist

    oh yeah and THE SHIELD is fucking sick bro

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  132. on March 23, 2010 at 1:12 pm Saya

    @vicmackey thanks for bringing that up, I was thinking that too. Also considering that many strong-willed women are challengers by reflex, and it’s not hard to imagine that even one that’s usually well-behaved might reflexively or deliberately respond with, “I’ll talk with you later” or “take your hand off me”. Then what? Are you done with her because she challenged you?
    It really comes down to a judgment call: it depends on what she’s worth to you; what kind of company you’re in (if the argument is in public); and what, knowing her personality and your dynamic, is her likely response to your next move?
    Figure out what you want the outcome to be: How do you want her to respond to you? and then figure out what words/tone/actions you need to take to put her there.

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  133. on March 23, 2010 at 1:55 pm Anonymous

    “Real men don’t NEG, they insult.”

    Unlearning, dear, couldn’t resist sounding like a boy reciting Kipling, eh? Still remember the last sentence?

    “With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!”

    From the vain and only, Pupu

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  134. on March 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm The realist

    @Saya

    Any man who disciplines his woman in the manner described by Roissy does so because he EXPECTS HER TO STEP IN LINE. If he didn’t expect her to accept it he wouldn’t have done it, he’d have accepted her insult like a little bitch. At this point shes in dodgy territory and i can’t really see myself in this situation, iv’e upped and left the table to relieve myself of the embarrassment and relieve her of her clearly(in her eyes) Beta boyfriend.

    No such thing as a strong willed woman, just a woman who lacks proper respect for you as a man. As men we understand this hence why we don’t disgrace, insult and put down other men we view as our equals or superiors. If many men didn’t have conflict deflecting abilities there would be open violence between men on the streets all the time!!! Respect for authority is quiote simple really. If she escalated the situation further after my expression of contempt for her insults, i’d have to escalate even further by leaving or taking any form of low blown. If i even stay at the table it is only to humiliate or disgrace her further. The relationship is on the rocks at this point, and as the alpha i am im loving the competition. Shes going home with her friends and only meeting me again for casual sex.

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  135. on March 23, 2010 at 3:00 pm Saya

    A lot of this sounds practical or at least likely for short or midterm relationships. Not for genuinely strong (not to be confused with loud) personalities and longterm partnerships.

    @The realist, I don’t disagree with a lot of what you’ve said.
    You should certainly Expect her to step in line. But if she doesn’t immediately, have you failed and are you giving up? Has she failed and are you giving up on her? Sounds short/midterm to me. Hopefully you’re there to begin with because she’s worth it in the firstplace, and if she’s worthwhile and you’re genuinely an alpha (and _her_ alpha, for that matter), then even if she doesn’t snap to your attention the instant you call on her, it should still be well within your abilities to call her to you and reinforce your authority in the wake.

    There was another comment (or a few) about the tendency of women to test their men. What you call a lack of proper respect is probably not so different from a woman looking for her man to prove himself. Even betas and beneath can dominate most/submissive women. There are women with strong personalities (alpha personalities, even), and true alpha males will command respect from them.

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  136. on March 23, 2010 at 3:03 pm Saya

    Oh, it was in the original post, actually:
    “Strangely to men who don’t know better, women don’t relish draining a lover’s soul of his manhood. No, they are compelled by ancient feminine forces beyond their influence to do so. Women would much rather you stay their attacks.”
    I very much agreed with that.

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  137. on March 23, 2010 at 3:09 pm The realist

    @Saya

    At some point as a man you need to relinquish manipulative and controlling intention, outcome dependance. THAT MEANS JUDGING a woman by her actions. You can keep trying to take the “alpha” road as the situation escalates for the sake of keeping a woman not worth having, or you can merely judge her for what she is being(a rude bitch) and be done with it.

    The situation described is not the correct one for a woman to be “testing” as you put. If she is with you she should have already jusged your alpha credibility. If she insists on pushing in this situation she needs to accept the outcome which inevitably(in my case anyways) would mean a verbal and physical escalation. And not just between me and her, between me and anyone else who wants to get involved including her friends and onlookers. If it is her intention to make any relationship between me and her(and me and her friends) aggressive and violent. Then she has succeeded.

    Im an asshole like that. But in this day and age a man can’t afford to rise to those aggressive instincts. Any woman who is pressing for these rises is not worth having.

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  138. on March 23, 2010 at 3:35 pm The realist

    One of the keys to being Alpha is to stop being pre-emptive and just be REACTIVE. Suppressing your emotion for the sake of some outcome dependancy you have is totally BETA. Im not invested in a peaceful outcome, im not invested in keeping her and her friends sweet, Im not invested in not causing a fuss. If im pissed about something then shes going to know it. And if she doesn’t accept that, the whole damn world can know about it for all i care. By insulting me and not accepting her transgression and fault, she is doing just as much damage as i am by going overboard.

    Fuck sucking it up. THATS beta

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  139. on March 23, 2010 at 3:37 pm The realist

    If the relationship dynamic is working correctly, she should be more invested in keeping me sweet than i am in keeping her and her friends sweet.

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  140. on March 23, 2010 at 4:02 pm Saya

    @The realist
    I think we’re defining two very different things here. What you’re calling Alpha, I call Successful Player, probably not worth the time of LTR-worthwhile girls but great for stories of conquest and often amusing to watch in action; expected, by the end of the night, to be worth the time for the girls involved.

    An Alpha is not one who doesn’t care and who acts purely on mood and whim; he’s one who knows, deserves, and gets what he wants; who leads the relationship/dynamic, and commands respect on a consistent basis — not just on a one-time impression.

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  141. on March 23, 2010 at 4:10 pm The realist

    @SAYA

    No you have it ass-backwards.

    I’m more than willing to accept insults when i try to pick up a bar skank. Shrugging of sly and even blatant insults is a major alpha quality when it comes to getting laid, it’s part and parcel of the role. Many times iv’e been insulted by girls iv’e approached and merely carried on chatting chirpily unnaffected and got the lay with ease. In fact any man behaving as i suggested in that scenario would quickly come off as Beta or “too serious”, creepy or whatever you want to call it.

    You are looking at it from the perspective of a woman where your intentions are much more controlling and the range of behaviour you are willing to accept much wider from a man/partner. You wish to control your partner, fair enough. What i am saying is that from a mans point of view there are women who are not worth controlling. Who cares whats alpha in this situation….SHES A RUDE BITCH AND SHE’LL GET WHATS COMING TO HER especially if she refuses to accept her fault when called on it.

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  142. on March 23, 2010 at 4:13 pm The realist

    Mate retention is not high on my list priorities when the level of idignance and insult is that high.

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  143. on March 23, 2010 at 4:14 pm The realist

    *indignance

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  144. on March 23, 2010 at 4:24 pm The realist

    In fact when i first meet a girl is pretty much the ONLY chance she will have to insult me. Once the initial courting period is past, what excuse does she really have to be insulting her boyfriend in front of her friends? and then on top of that being deliberately difficult when i call her on it?

    She needs the boot

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  145. on March 23, 2010 at 6:57 pm vicmackey

    my interpretation is that if your girl respects you she should not insult you in the first place. if she does it by “mistake” then she should shut up after you reprimand her. if she doesn’t shut up and challenges you again then she doesn’t respect you or she is over the relationship anyway and you wanna ditch her before she ditches you for the first ass-hole that comes along.

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  146. on March 23, 2010 at 9:18 pm Tupac Chopra

    Tupac, will knowing that Pupu is younger than you disturb that adorable inner peace of yours?

    I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it would give me a great big boner.

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  147. on March 23, 2010 at 9:27 pm Tupac Chopra

    the realist:

    You wish to control your partner, fair enough. What i am saying is that from a mans point of view there are women who are not worth controlling. Who cares whats alpha in this situation….SHES A RUDE BITCH AND SHE’LL GET WHATS COMING TO HER especially if she refuses to accept her fault when called on it.

    +1

    A good artist or sculptor spends a lot of time and thought on the substrate of his work — he may consider many slabs of marble or logs of wood before he plies his talents to shaping them into something sublime — but what he doesn’t do is pick any old piece of knarled crap and figure, “hey I’m so badass I can use anything to start with and still end up with Art”.

    …unnless he is someone who “has something to prove”

    The Taoists understood the concept of “Li”:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_(Neo-Confucianism)

    …and the notion of “right action” — some existents have them and others don’t. It’s an aesthetic thang.

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  148. on March 23, 2010 at 9:56 pm Black Flag

    “If she escalated the situation further after my expression of contempt for her insults, i’d have to escalate even further by leaving or taking any form of low blow. If i even stay at the table it is only to humiliate or disgrace her further. The relationship is on the rocks at this point, and as the alpha i am im loving the competition. Shes going home with her friends and only meeting me again for casual sex.”

    Taunts, nasty insults, and withholding sex are female behaviors. If she escalates the situation further she’s issuing a deliberate challenge to your dominance. A power play. If you’re “loving the competition,” the proper response is to take her home and discipline her in a way that can only be done in private. Do NOT sulk like a schoolboy then flounce off like a woman.

    If you are Alpha and relish the fight, OWN IT! Pull it off and it’s not the relationship that will be on the rocks, what will rock is the wanton abandon with which she will offer herself to you after she’s been properly chastised. Then you will know what true power feels like, because you will have it.

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  149. on March 23, 2010 at 10:08 pm The realist

    @Black Flag

    You are assuming i want to continue this relationship after the events described. Trust me i don’t get into long term relationships for the sex, for that any decent looking skank will do. I get into LTRs for just about everything other than the sex, and i EXPECT and DESERVE good behaviour.

    Only a Beta is wondering how wet her pussy is or how he can make her pussy wet in this situation. An alpha knows her pussy should be wet, is wet and knows the pussy of the next hoe is just as wet and waiting. But yeh im going to suck it up for some pussy thats just reduced it’s value tenfold in my eyes?

    “Wanton abandon” is not something new to be achieved with this woman. If shes my girl you can bet we had that by the second/third date and i’ll have it with the next girl i sex. Thats Alpha.

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  150. on March 23, 2010 at 10:10 pm Tupac Chopra

    BF:

    If you are Alpha and relish the fight, OWN IT! Pull it off and it’s not the relationship that will be on the rocks, what will rock is the wanton abandon with which she will offer herself to you after she’s been properly chastised.

    Her wet little hole is all she has to offer me for my efforts in taming her? I’m sorry, but I’m not that cheap.

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  151. on March 23, 2010 at 10:30 pm Black Flag

    “You are assuming i want to continue this relationship after the events described.”

    You can’t continue it. Being Alpha is about power: who has it, and who doesn’t. If you can’t handle the situation described, you don’t. She does.

    She won’t be meeting you again for casual sex no matter how much of a champion fucker you may be. She wants a predator, not fleeing prey.

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  152. on March 23, 2010 at 10:40 pm Tupac Chopra

    She wants a predator, not fleeing prey.

    The best predators are on death row. Let her fuck them instead of dragging humanity into the mud of her atavistic desire.

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  153. on March 23, 2010 at 11:07 pm Black Flag

    Tupac, you bore me to death. Stop snapping at my heels like a starved dog.

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  154. on March 23, 2010 at 11:34 pm Tupac Chopra

    Hit a nerve?

    “Signal transmitted, message received” Heh.

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  155. on March 24, 2010 at 8:16 am The realist

    Wait a second if i’m a predator i better start proving it by getting the hell outta there and finding some new pussy right? In fact if im such a predator what am i doing sitting down with this bitch and her friends? what was i doing in a LTR in the first place?

    In fact nothing sounds more Beta to me than letting the insults lie in public, but punishing her in private. She’ll know she got to you and you didn’t have the ballz to do anything about it at the time. Hence Roissy’s stand, if she transgresses in public, she must be punished in public.

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  156. on March 24, 2010 at 8:24 am The realist

    @Black flag

    So wait in this situation my only concern is being a predator….?

    No concern for what i desire in a partner, no concern for my own piece of mind having a girlfriend who regularly talks smack?…I don’t owe this bitch shit least of all a wet pussy and keeping up appearances with the friends.

    I must reiterate thinking about anything but your own self respect in this situation is TRES BETA.

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  157. on March 24, 2010 at 8:26 am The realist

    And what makes you think you’ll making anything wet once you get home and shes had your ballz in her handz all evening?

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  158. on March 24, 2010 at 10:51 am Saya

    @The realist

    People are not puppies.
    If a puppy pees on the carpet and you do not catch them in the act and scold them immediately, the puppy won’t associate a delayed punishment with their crime and will not understand what they’re being punished for.
    Hopefully the girls you date or stalk are neither likely to pee on your carpet (I guess you could be in to that; to each their own…) nor are they incapable of learning from a serious scolding well after the act at fault.
    It’s ridiculous to think that waiting to exact punishment = beta behavior.
    I am not asserting that you cannot or should not necessarily address the issue immediately or publicly, but you absolutely *can* effectively and powerfully make your point and assert your authority with potentially even more powerful and lasting effect well after the incident occurs.

    This is all moot if the girl is not important to you and you’re more given to feeling insulted and overrun and ditching the girl that is either way out of line or just out of you managing abilities. If she’s not worth the time or effort, she’s not worth the time and effort, and power to you for not putting up with it as soon as you’ve realized this. If she’s worth it, don’t mistake her for puppy.

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  159. on March 24, 2010 at 11:02 am The realist

    @says

    You are showing a fundamental lack of understanding of how men work. Why did SHE NOT DECIDE TO WAIT UNTIL LATER TO CALL ME A DUMMY? If shes not my puppy, i’m certainly not hers. We’ll agree to disagree, but if she keeps popping off after being called on it shes done for as far as im concerned.

    Saya = petulant bitch who would rather not get called on her shit and dumped in that situation.

    Blackflag = Beta pussy who is still more worried about securing tonight/tommorrow/next week/next week nights pussy than having a decent respectful girlfriend. “oh my god if i upset my girlfriend i might not be able to get pussy for a year!!”

    Tupac Chopra = Straight up G who knows the deal.

    No Alpha needs a woman THAT badly, come on thats alpha rule number 1.

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  160. on March 24, 2010 at 11:12 am The realist

    I’ve been in bar brawls, street fights, soccer fights both as a fan and player, i swear in public, take drugs in public, blare loud and offensive music in public. You think i really give a shit about embarrassing a stupid bitch, myself or her friends?

    Seriously, we have the real alpha method i described. And then the fake Alpha method as described by you and blackflag.

    If you can’t handle it don’t date an Alpha and definately don’t disrespect him in front of people he barely knows.

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  161. on March 24, 2010 at 11:46 am The realist

    To friends -“is she always this much of a rude bitch or just when shes trying to impress her friends? im not sure i like this new side of her”

    Attempting to turn her friends from allies into possible dirt dishers and sympathizers is just one way to counter the insult. One thing i definately do not do is let it slide. As soon as she calls me a dummy i’m prepared for everything to go Tits up, I’m prepared for all outcomes and to take responsibility for whatever response i choose. She should have been prepared to do the same when she started it.

    Sounds childish…..BUT SHE STARTED IT.

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  162. on March 24, 2010 at 11:59 am Saya

    @The realist

    I agree; you sound childish.

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  163. on March 24, 2010 at 12:01 pm The realist

    “she is not a puppy”

    And yet you seem determined for her to be given a chance in the hope of what, being trained? like you’d train a puppy?

    Your posts are pretty contradictary Saya hence why i end up replying 4 times, i read it, then read it again and it makes less and less sense everytime i read it.

    So a self respecting Alpha should date a fat girl, in the hope with negs/training etc he can convince her to become less fat? Between you and me i think he’d be better off getting a better girlfriend. DUUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

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  164. on March 24, 2010 at 12:16 pm dragnet

    Nicole FTW.

    “On the real, this is one of those things that is related to your fathering skills. If you have trouble doing physical guidance with a woman, she’s getting a not so subconscious message that you couldn’t handle kids either…

    Unfortunately, if you prove to her that you’re a wimp, she’s going to turn your kids against you too. I’ve seen it happen.”

    Real. Talk.

    Comments like this are difference between people who know and have been there, and the majority of people who are just yakkers (betas).

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  165. on March 24, 2010 at 12:19 pm The realist

    there has got to be something that differentiates this girl from your average harem member/fuck and chuck. Forgive me for thinking being respectful, modest and good mannered might be candidates for being those qualities.

    Yeah you’re right Saya, we should simply pick a hot girl with a pussy wet for us and try and turn her into our slave. That Ho Roissy told you couldn’t be made into a housewife, forget that it’s possible!! in fact according to Saya playing captain save a Ho is your duty as a man, you have a DUTY to make this woman better however shes currently behaving. Ignore all the other hotties who also might be wet and better behaved, you owe this one hottie your life. In fact All you Alphas out there are better off raising your own hotties from birth and training them to be perpetually wet and polite for you through the nicest means only(Read:your own beta insecurity).

    you owe your life to that one hottie, she is yours and if she misbehaves it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY you must be doing something wrong, she needs more training or something. But remember to always be faithful and care for your little hottie, only a very bad man would consider abandoning or mistreating her when shes out of line!!

    Remember a puppy/woman isn’t just for christmas it’s/shes FOR LIFE.

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  166. on March 24, 2010 at 12:19 pm The realist

    Saya are you looking for a boyfriend or a father figure?

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  167. on March 24, 2010 at 12:48 pm Schmoe

    @Saya
    So’s your old man!

    There’s a right time to do the right action. You never get the chance again to rectify the situation in public. So suppose you go have a fight with your bitchy girlfriend at home, so what? You’ve allowed her to publicly insult you with no public consequences. You don’t need that shit, which again is alpha 101. Be confident enough in your relationship and your ability to pull a new one that you don’t act out of fear. Taking it private is the more fearful option in my view. Quick, clean, public, get it over with. Fear is the destroyer.

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  168. on March 24, 2010 at 1:41 pm wattsmith

    What was the word? Was it blockhead?
    “Don’t ever call me a fucking blockhead again.”
    The alpha wolf takes no shit, not even in the form a 1950’s insult.

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  169. on March 24, 2010 at 9:00 pm Black Flag

    “Let her fuck them instead of dragging humanity into the mud of her atavistic desire.”

    I’m amused you think I have the power to force all of humanity to serve my pleasure. That is not, in fact, true; but clearly it seems so to you. At long last you manage to entertain me.

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  170. on March 24, 2010 at 10:41 pm Tupac Chopra

    “Let her fuck them instead of dragging humanity into the mud of her atavistic desire.”

    I’m amused you think I have the power to force all of humanity to serve my pleasure. That is not, in fact, true; but clearly it seems so to you.

    Well forgive me if I’m mistaken, but weren’t you the one arguing that a “real man” would countenance ANY form of misbehavior from his woman — no matter how egregious –and take efforts to rectify her transgressions instead of kicking her ass to the curb?

    If not, I apologize. OTOH, if I’m not mistaken, then you have basically advocated for men to be in bondage to the bottomless potential for regressive female behavior.

    To quote that old Gin Blossoms song: “I’ll follow you down….but not that far.”

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  171. on March 25, 2010 at 7:41 pm Black Flag

    The Gin Blossoms. Of course.

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  172. on March 25, 2010 at 10:44 pm Tupac Chopra

    BF-

    The vacuity of your response ensures that your capitulation is duly noted.

    Do I need to backhand you across the face to make my point any clearer?

    Rhetorical.

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  173. on March 26, 2010 at 8:11 pm Black Flag

    Oh, well done! Twice now. Backhand me across the face. As if you would have the nerve.

    I’ve whiled away many an afternoon shut up alone in a windowless closet with murders, rapists and madmen of every description. The nastiest predators from your worst nightmares. Oh, there’s a guard in a booth down the hall, but he’d never hear me scream and everybody knows it. It raises the stakes.

    You think I can back down a violent sex-starved rapist but I can’t manage a man like *you*? Rhetorical.

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  174. on March 27, 2010 at 1:56 am Tupac Chopra

    B.F. a.k.a. Freak De Jour a.k.a. Topping From The Bottom:

    You think I can back down a violent sex-starved rapist but I can’t manage a man like *you*?

    I’m flattered you think I’m coming on to you, but I’m not terribly interested. You could, however, sweeten the deal by offering me something more substantial than your split tail and BPD personality.

    You see, a person who consorts with “murders, rapists and madmen of every description” is someone with questionable judgement, to say the least. While I am not averse to playing with fire, my price for training such feral women is more than they usually have to offer. Your types get all the joy of being chastised, bound and protected from your own excesses, but what do you have to offer in return? Do you think you have a golden pussy?

    I suppose this is as good a time as any to give mad props to my boy Franco from a.s.f. — a man of wealth and means who has bedded hundreds of women in various countries, a seasoned gentleman in his 50’s who is a practiced psychotherapist/marriage counselor and who understands you little savages better than any man I know. I hold him in higher esteem than Willard Libby, even higher than Roissy himself (sorry, R). I didn’t have much time, so here’s what a preliminary search turned up. Try to overlook the poor grammar — being Italian, English is not his first language.

    Take a hard long look in the mirror and maybe learn something about yourself, luv:

    http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=99407&fid=105#591148

    http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=9&mn=1184925169414881&refine=subject%3D%26author%3D%26datefrom%3D%26body%3Dfranco%2520freaks%2520violence%26dateto%3D

    http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=100626&fid=105#598441

    http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=9&mn=1249290355570253&refine=subject%3D%26author%3D%26datefrom%3D%26body%3Dfranco%2520borderline%26dateto%3D

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  175. on March 27, 2010 at 9:36 am Nutz

    This whole discusion is a futile endeavor. The “alpha” thing to do is to have already had the talk where you express your standards & expectations of behavior and explain what happens if/when she fails to live up to them. This kind of shit test Roissy presented won’t even occur unless she is an idiot or is testing your resolve to follow through on what you explained would happen. This is where the willingness to walk away is so important–it gives men monumental power and ability to lead and control the relasiondhip.

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  176. on March 27, 2010 at 3:50 pm Black Flag

    “I’m flattered you think I’m coming on to you, but I’m not terribly interested.”

    If only that were true.

    “You see, a person who consorts with ‘murders, rapists and madmen of every description’ is someone with questionable judgment….”

    No, she is a criminal defense attorney. I thought that was clear.

    “Take a hard long look in the mirror and maybe learn something about yourself”

    I think I’m fairly self-aware. I’m a woman sick to death of managing men. I wish for the day when someone might be able to manage me.

    You, on the other hand, seem terribly confused. But, just this once, I will try to help. Then I’m done.

    Do you know why you always go for the attainable girl? Do you know why your heart beats so very fast when you approach a beautiful woman whose eyes are cold and whose lips are touched with just a hint of cruelty? You know what will happen, you know you don’t have the slightest chance, you know that no amount of game you can muster will work, but you go to her anyway. Knowing. Knowing what she’s going to do to you.

    Your sort are always sniffing me out. It’s infuriating because you’re impossible to get rid of by conventional means. Because you’re never happier than when you are writhing in agony under the spiked heel of a woman’s scorn. *That* is why you snap at my heels trying to provoke me. And *that* is what keeps me from tearing your throat out. Because while I may have a talent for this game I have no taste for it, and I will not be manipulated into playing.

    Do you doubt me? Prove me wrong. Stop reading me; stop thinking about me; stop writing about me; and NEVER address me again. After all, you are “not terribly interested.” So it should not be hard. Do that, and I may develop the tiniest grain of respect for you. Fail, and know yourself for the pathetic, groveling, mongrel of a dog you are.

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  177. on March 28, 2010 at 12:02 am Weekend Link Fest – Far East edition « Seasons of Tumult and Discord

    […] Renegade: Exporting Democracy, Importing Socialism, She Insulted You. What Now?, Sausage […]

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  178. on March 28, 2010 at 1:42 am Word Around the Campfire – The Healthcare edition « Hidden Leaves

    […] Chateau: She Insulted You. What Now? […]

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  179. on March 29, 2010 at 5:06 am Elle vous a insulté. Et maintenant?

    […] Une fois, comme une bombe puante a chuté au milieu d'une prairie au printemps, votre petite amie vous appelle un nom grossier, et non pas en plaisantant. L'insulte lui avait rien qui aurait pu scandaliser bonne compagnie. Sur l'échelle de «mannequin» au «fils de pute», il était plus proche de l'ancien. C'était une conversation entre un peu exubérant [. . . ] URL article original: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/she-insulted-you-what-now/ […]

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  180. on April 26, 2010 at 6:59 am GetMadorGetEven

    So – my attractive, Scandinavian, blonde girlfriend who plays innocent, but with lurking slutty streak has fucked up.

    I, because I am sneaky, hacked into email and FB as soon as I suspected something (I found disturbing photos of her on her digital from a concert where she and this dude have got the way wrong body-language). Now – confronting her head on, she cooly said I had nothing to worry about.

    3 months later I hack into her FB, and she is chatting with an ex-fling – convo is mostly harmless flirting, but flirting none-the-less. I also discover photos of her ex in planner.

    Btw – we fuck every day.

    Besides the fact that I am going to now channel my anger into a massive rage-fuck of the first available female, do I dump this girl’s ass without explanation, or do I explain to her exactly how she fucked up?

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  181. on April 26, 2010 at 8:54 am xsplat

    do I dump this girl’s ass without explanation, or do I explain to her exactly how she fucked up?

    Care to hear a tale of how I handled a similar situation?

    I logged into her yahoo chat history log, and found out she was flirting heavily enough that she was being open to make plans to meet an out of town stranger.

    When she came home I was furious, and gave her a very viscious and angry fuck, and slapped her face hard, several times. She was afraid and had never seen me this way. Usually I just play rape, but this time I was serious.

    Explanation? None. I just told her to watch her step.

    Whenever the subject came up and she asked me what that was all about, I just told her to watch her step, because if she ever took a mis-step I’d dump her ass and kick her out the door and never talk to her again.

    It was several weeks until I told her why.

    I could have confronted her and told her I had dirt on her, but why bother?

    I FULLY expressed ALL my emotions. And she was afraid.

    It changed things, and step by step she became more tamed, and more resigned.

    This was six months into living together, by the way.

    Yes, I mate with sluts, but I never, never trust them. And I can tame them. A wild horse can be the best horse.

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  182. on April 26, 2010 at 10:23 am Doug1

    xsplat

    When she came home I was furious, and gave her a very viscious and angry fuck, and slapped her face hard, several times. She was afraid and had never seen me this way. Usually I just play rape, but this time I was serious.

    In hyper feminist America the slaps would get you arrested and thrown out of your house that you pay for if she called 911, as her girlfriends would tell her she should up and down. The angry fuck could get you arrested for “relationship rape” and jailed for years. Both incredibly and horrifically enough.

    I FULLY expressed ALL my emotions. And she was afraid.

    It changed things, and step by step she became more tamed, and more resigned.

    This was six months into living together, by the way.

    Yes, I mate with sluts, but I never, never trust them. And I can tame them. A wild horse can be the best horse.

    She of course could have left but didn’t want to. In fact she the opposite of wanting to leave you, became more attracted to you.

    This is EXACTLY, precisely, the real reason feminists wanted to and did create marital rape and pass get while knighting idiots to help them in passing VAWA. (The white knighting idiots weren’t in on the real reason.)

    It was just a full bold faced lie that their passage was for the purpose of preventing “brutal” marital rape or “the progressive physical violence against a woman that leads inevitably in the great majority of cases to his severely beating her up and even badly injuring her, with her cowering in fear for her safety, abused and brutalized.”

    Upper hoseshiite. The existing assault and battery laws and existing practice when enforced were enough to prevent that, together with ok encouraging women to in fact leave their true serious abusers. That’s fine. But that’s not all or the main thing feminists wanted with VAWA and marital rape laws. They wanted to erase natural and age old male physical dominance in a relationship a woman stays in.

    Your story above and considering in contrast what would or certainly at her mad or scared in a moment could happen here, all at her dialing 911 option. For your trivial laying of hands on her, given you were living together lovers.

    Are you getting this people. This is the underlying really truth about the feminist push for VAWA and marital rape laws, and screaming in indignation and vilification at any suggestion they be repealed.

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  183. on April 26, 2010 at 11:17 am anoukange

    um…Cape Fear anyone?

    Doug1-

    This is where you and I disagree a bit. Let me state firstly, I am against law making in general. The less government involvement in personal lives the better, so I by no means support stupid feminist laws.

    However…

    This girl didn’t leave because she has most likely has been hit, degraded, or put down in most of her formative years. I don’t turn to psychology every time for every case but any gal who gets slapped in the face repeatedly and stays with the guy has a 7 in 10 chance of coming from a less than stellar upbringing. She clings to force because it makes her feel safe. She is wired wrongly in that sense. It was her nurture that made her stay after this extreme incident, not her nature. Although, at this point in her life, it has become her nature to endure such things and behave in a “slutty” way. Keeping a girl in line, sure…spazing out on her due to your own baggage and issues, not cool.

    I am all for disciplining a gal and dominant sex for others, since I’m about protecting the right of others freedoms (regardless of where on the scale they fall), but the extreme head cases are temperamental fucks who need an ass kicking themselves.

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  184. on April 26, 2010 at 11:41 am Doug1

    anoukange

    I don’t turn to psychology every time for every case but any gal who gets slapped in the face repeatedly and stays with the guy has a 7 in 10 chance of coming from a less than stellar upbringing.

    Oh horsetwaddle. Anyone can be described as coming from a “less than stellar upbringing” when a decent lawyer gets on the case. You also introduce this statement with:

    This girl didn’t leave because she has most likely has been hit, degraded, or put down in most of her formative years.

    You have no evidence for that whatsoever in this case, other than first world American women prejudice against SE Asian girls (and Arab ones etc.) when it comes to such things. It’s the feminist cartoon that’s seeped way beyond rad feminists. Further you have no studies that support the proposition in general.

    You call the several slaps “slapped repeatedly” as American women today will, trying to make it sound like she was beaten up. Well it didn’t sound like she was at all, much less that xsplat repeatedly beats her up which is what you’re implying or certainly not not implying.

    So let me ask you anoukange. What should have been the outcome so far as state intervention goes or not in the case xsplat mentions?

    It’s sounding like we disagree one hell of a lot more than a little on this.

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  185. on April 26, 2010 at 11:42 am xsplat

    Yes, Doug, I’m aware that in some western countries, depending on the girl, what I did could land me in a whole heap of trouble. Actually, it can land you in trouble anywhere – women can always make false abuse claims. And police plant drugs on people in SE Asia as well. I’ve actually been subject to false arrest for walking out on a girlfriend and taking my computer with me, so I know that women can be psycho, and use the law unjustly.

    I did not leave the west because of domestic abuse laws. I left because I can live more cheaply and therefore be more financially successful in SE Asia, and because I can easily date women in their early twenties even in my forties.

    But it’s also no accident that I’m not living in a country that has the laws you speak about. The war of the sexes is much more sane in SE Asia. The matriarchs tend to hold the balance of power, but a man who wrests power from the matriarch is respected. Patriarch is not a dirty word. Male parents and grandparents are treated with respect. A man can be a man.

    And if I told my story of hitting my girlfriend even to her sisters and parents, no one would berate me. Everyone is aware that a woman needs to be kept in line. You’d need to be retarded not to know that. It’s expected that a man would, and even SHOULD hit a woman under the circumstances I described.

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  186. on April 26, 2010 at 11:45 am Doug1

    anoukange–

    um…Cape Fear anyone?

    The scenario in the movie Cape Fear is TOTALLY and completely in-apposite to the situation xsplat described. Just utterly and completely.

    That you’d cite it as analogous is telling.

    I think about zero French of Latin women would for example, or Asian ones — I mean if living in their own home cultures rather than this or other Anglosphere rad feminist infected ones, though America’s the worst.

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  187. on April 26, 2010 at 11:52 am xsplat

    Anouk, it’s a bullshit argument to say that a woman who is physically disciplined doesn’t leave her man because she has issues.

    Over and over again, the same tired, baseless argument.

    It never ends.

    And spazzing out? Your comment is spazzing out. On my part there was no spazzing. There was violence. Carefully calculated and controlled violence.

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  188. on April 26, 2010 at 11:54 am polymath

    GMoGE,

    If your proof was slightly better, I’d say dump her because she’s cheating on you, no further details on how you knew.

    However, from what you have described, she could just be flirting, and in that case you look like a jealous jerk.

    True information is very valuable here. Put on your Sherlock hat until you are certain she’s actually cheated. Since you suspect her ex, one way to find out is to confront him.

    It is permissible to confront her and say you have evidence she’s cheated — if she admits it then you have not only evidence but proof, and if she denies it you say you don’t believe her and tell her it’s over. If she really didn’t cheat, she’ll be desperate and will tell you everything about the flirting and promise to be good, and unless she’s a great actress you’ll be able to tell whether she really is desperate or whether she’s going for the Oscar.

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  189. on April 26, 2010 at 11:55 am Doug1

    anoukange–

    but the extreme head cases are temperamental fucks who need an ass kicking themselves

    Of course. But assault and battery laws or a girls family more traditionally are plenty for that.

    But no they wouldn’t apply to three no injury slaps and rough angry fucking of a girl that’s been entirely voluntarily living with a guy for six months and continues to do so. Nor would families traditionally have intervened in such cases.

    I repeat my question. What do you think this girl SHOULD have been able to accomplish if she’s dialed 911 after just what xsplat described?

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  190. on April 26, 2010 at 11:58 am Doug1

    polymath–

    Good advice to Gmoe, except I’d go straight to your last paragraph.

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  191. on April 26, 2010 at 12:01 pm xsplat

    Comment to you in m o d, Doug.

    I want to add that I don’t quite agree that if my girl was with me in the west and had become heavily western influenced I’d run the risk of her calling cops on me. I didn’t beat her, for one thing. I didn’t even humiliate her. I slapped her and expressed extreme anger and gave her a very serious and intense ultimatum. Made her know she’d never receive any more chances with me.

    We were so bonded at that point that I knew she’d feel a death inside to lose me.

    I didn’t wail on her in order to have her cower in fear, afraid she’d be hunted down if she left. The violence was calculated as punishment to let her know I wasn’t toying around, and I was pissed as hell, and that as far as she was concerned I had spied everywhere and she’d get no notice or warning about who or what was watching her and she could have my love – OR – TAKE A LOOK AT THE ALTERNATIVE, SLAP!

    Sometimes you have to be really that in your face. With a hand.

    She got the point.

    And yes, of course she fell more deeply in love with me. That’s what happens. At one point she told me, and I’m sure she meant it, that if I ever left her she’d remain celibate until death. She was intensely devoted to me. If you saw pictures of us you could see it in every photo, how content she was, how enamored, how at peace. God, that woman adored me.

    And I still cry, two months after he death. We were bonded as hell.

    So you can see why I say that your advice against sluts is not universally applicable. A man with a high sex drive and with enough experience to play a player can have a hell of a great time and life with a slut. I owned that woman, and loved her. She was great. She was incredible. I’d not have traded her for ten virgins.

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  192. on April 26, 2010 at 12:09 pm xsplat

    I’m going to say this once to you Anouk. Frankly, I don’t much talk to you because the things you say seem weird and useless to me. But I’ll say this just once anyway, at least to get it off my chest.

    It is healthy and natural for a woman to allow, and even want boundaries to be set by her mate, and to be physically disciplined for having those boundaries crossed.

    There is a place for a moderate and controlled amount of violence in discipline.

    It is healthy and natural for a woman to treat her mate in a way she would treat her father. As an authority who has final say over her, up until the point she decides to leave that home.

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  193. on April 26, 2010 at 12:22 pm Doug1

    xsplat–

    I want to add that I don’t quite agree that if my girl was with me in the west and had become heavily western influenced I’d run the risk of her calling cops on me. I didn’t beat her, for one thing. I didn’t even humiliate her. I slapped her and expressed extreme anger and gave her a very serious and intense ultimatum. Made her know she’d never receive any more chances with me

    You’ve been living abroad so long now I guess that you don’t realize that you’re wrong. Oh you could well be right that she wouldn’t have called the cops. But if she had dialed 911 under VAWA and you’d both told the exact truth, you would have been arrested, an order of protection issued, and you would have been forced to move out of the house you were paying for.

    The order of protection wouldn’t be lifted and or the state prosecution against you dropped (in hopes you’ll plead) even when she goes to the DAs office and says she wants the protection order she never asked for lifted, and wants the prosection dropped. They’ll tell her they can’t, it’s the law (VAWA) and that studies have shown that many times women lie to protect their abusers, and that the abusers always get worse, if early action isn’t taken against them. The penalties won’t be severe they tell her, if he pleads and goes to a few “anger management” (feminist indoctrination) classes.

    I know exactly what I’m talking about, and I’m not exaggerating or making any of this up.

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  194. on April 26, 2010 at 12:42 pm xsplat

    Yes, Doug, I believe everything you are saying. Up until the point where you try to predict what that particular girl, who I lived with for 11 months, and who you never met, would do.

    Other than that, I’m with you.

    And it’s one reason I don’t live in the west. It is a choice I have, after all. No brainer, really.

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  195. on April 26, 2010 at 12:44 pm xsplat

    comment to you stuck in mod again, Doug.

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  196. on April 26, 2010 at 12:56 pm Doug1

    xsplat–

    The prosecution will be dropped and w/it the temporary order of protection three or four months later in this scenario, because they’ll have given up on your pleading (if you’re smart or well represented) and know they can’t take it to court w/out a witness that will testify against you OR physical evidence. (They’d take it to trial on any physical evidence like any bruising alone.)

    You’d have had to go to court three or for times for hearings designed to get you to plead for maybe community service and definitely feminist reeducation “classes”. You’d have spent well over a thousand on a lawyer if you’d gone cheap in that cause you know the score yourself. If you don’t and you want to keep a clear record you’ll be scared into paying thousands for a lawyer.

    you’ll still have to lie about “have you ever been arrested” on employment etc. applications.

    That’s VAWA.

    Oh all this would apply if she just lied about the slapping after she slapped you and you threatened to call the cops so she beat you to it w/911.

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  197. on April 26, 2010 at 12:58 pm Doug1

    Roissy will you please exempt constructive regulars like Xsplat from getting longer or whatever comments actually held up for moderation?

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  198. on April 26, 2010 at 1:25 pm Doug1

    I’ve concluded from observation and the application of logic, and also from some things that Roissy’s said that the way moderation of comments work here is this:

    Roissy is being truthful when he says he doesn’t hold comments for moderation, rather that wordpress does w/some algorithem.

    I think the alorithem is triggered by:

    1) frequent posting in the last while by the ip address;

    2) links combined with the above;

    3) possibly or less likely by longer posts.

    These seem to be when I get the notice of moderation tacked in italics to the top of my comment. As well they make sense if what wordpress is going after is spam, or does when that function is allowed to remain on as is the default I’d guess. (I don’t have a wordpress blog so I don’t know what are the defaults etc.)

    However i never get an actual delay when posting from my usual ip addresses or under my usual screen name, which I almost always do. Do that in turn must mean that Roissy can and has set certain posters to get flagged yes, but not delayed for his admin review. Posters like me.

    It’s possible though that wordpress does the letting go though cases automatically as well as anothe algorithem. E.g. if Roissy ok’s enough flagged for moderation comments from a poster, maybe WordPress figures ok that poster is ok and not a spammer so it’s WordPress that’s giving me the pass through without delay.

    [editor: doug, i don’t know why your comments get flagged as spam. maybe wordpress doesn’t like the email addy you use? if it bothers you, try commenting from a different IP or using a different handle/email.]

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  199. on April 26, 2010 at 4:00 pm Canglong

    This is a support group for men who have trouble holding on to their women.

    “I FULLY expressed ALL my emotions. And she was afraid.

    It changed things, and step by step she became more tamed, and more resigned.”

    Some hard slaps and an angry fuck/rape do not count as expressing emotion. Alpha males don’t beat their women. They don’t need to if they are better than any challengers.

    Resigned? Why would ever want a woman to simply be resigned to you?

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  200. on April 26, 2010 at 7:50 pm anoukange

    Doug1-

    “Further you have no studies that support the proposition in general.”

    -that’s not true, I have read much on the study of troubled girls. A girl who allows a guy to hit her across the face hard repeatedly (ie; several times in a row) runs in the 70th percentile of coming from a background whee she was either hit periodically, steadily, or put down, talked down to, emotionally manipulated,. etc.

    Now, I’m not saying that the state or anyone else should get involved. I believe this is between the couple. If the hitter was so worried about being put in jail, he would not have done it….unless of course he has a spastic temper/drinks/insecure/unstable, etc.

    “um…Cape Fear anyone?”

    that was a fucking joke Doug.

    Listen, I’m not jumping on this because I have any previous agenda, or one now for that matter, related to this. I’m telling you, girls that like it on the far end of the rough sex/abuse scale have been taught that by an unhealthy source, I guarantee it. oh, and on that scale…say… a 1-30 scale, (wide spread to include all of the nuances for gettin freaky) if she likes it on the 20-30 part of the scale there was most likely abuse in her past. Which means the dude isn’t working with the same mental/emotional space as a girl who is lower on the scale. If she is flirting…really? Several smacks for flirting? Get a grip. If the girl doesn’t react stunned and afraid, she has been hit before. And I’m open minded, so I’m not talking exploratory sex or whatever the couple needs. I’m talking anger going too far.

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  201. on April 26, 2010 at 8:04 pm anoukange

    xsplat-

    oh, for fucks sake. This again? Some speech…do you have a job dude?

    Fucking relax, for once…just FOR ONCE…Relax. Do what you want. It’s your business, and I would vote to get you out of jail just to protect your right to do what you want to in your own house. Hell, chop them up if they cheat, bury the bodies under the azalea bush in the back yard…whatever!

    I even proceeded my comment with my where I personally sit on the state law and STILL you and Doug get all over me. I put the tender ego gloves on and still we bomb.

    All this comes down to is us not knowing each other. You don’t know how to take my comments correctly. Hey man, I’ve been hit. It hurt. I let it slide because I had it coming. A guy starts smacking me around tying to “each me a lesson” and is clearly physically stronger than me…um…well, maybe I would just try to get the fuck out of there right quick.

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  202. on April 26, 2010 at 8:11 pm anoukange

    xsplat–

    also, I didn’t even address you just to avoid this shit.

    Doug1-

    Ok, you were BURNED by the law. I”M SORRY. I’m sorry for all of the lousy ass women out there and I’m sorry that it’s all gone to shit. You’re clearly very smart but it would be great if you didn’t relate very last post or comment to how the law burns guys. I don’t blame guys one bit for not wanting to get married in certain countries. I lived a life within my long terms that protected the men, not me. I walked away with nothing but their generosity, liked I’ve said. I’m on your side dude, so If I write a comment that challenges the background of the girl, it’s not some feminist bullshit challenge. Ok?

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  203. on April 26, 2010 at 8:16 pm anoukange

    *there’s typos everywhere, sorry. I swear if it were a painting it would be perfect.

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  204. on April 26, 2010 at 10:43 pm Doug1

    anoukange–

    Ok, you were BURNED by the law. I”M SORRY. I’m sorry for all of the lousy ass women out there and I’m sorry that it’s all gone to shit. You’re clearly very smart but it would be great if you didn’t relate very last post or comment to how the law burns guys.

    You got it wrong re: me.

    yes I’m divorced w/ no kids a good long while ago but by usual standards today in America I wasn’t burned at all. I had to give to give her in the end about half my (large) increase in wealth during the marriage which yes I did feel was incredibly unfair, relying at the time of marriage on the NY fairly recent w/little case law (it’s almost always settled in family law divorce cases esp. when custody isn’t the issue) equitable distribution standard. I thought it incredibly unfair. Outside of income i contributed much more to her than her to me. It was obvious and proveable. It was ignored. I was disgusted.

    The next year I made huge, way more than a million. So of course I’m lucky she filed when she did, the frigid rad feminist only after marriage shiite. Not frigid or much feminist acting w/me before huge meal ticket me before, hugely so immediately after returning from our honeymoon.

    While girls left and right considered me alpha and had done. Stupid me went with smarts compatibility (though based on her hiding her Katherine McKinnon rad feminist beliefs, which she definitely and marriage destroyingly had), more than looks and sex. I guess I was too feminist propagandized really. Even if not made a wimp.

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  205. on April 26, 2010 at 10:50 pm Doug1

    We had also orally agreed before marrying that in the case of divorce w/out kids, we’d split saved “marital” period earned assets according to who earned them, just like living together.

    (We’d agreed that if/when we were planning kids we’d work out something new beforehand.)

    Oh trusting in American women, idealistic me.

    After she filed for divorce (after she discovered me cheating on her after she hadn’t sexed me in more than six months) she was never willing to talk about this or to me whatsoever. Her lawyer told her not to.

    So why should I ever marry again in American anoukange?

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  206. on April 26, 2010 at 10:58 pm James

    Eh, xsplat doesn’t need to calm down – anouk does. Such silly female theatrics.

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  207. on April 27, 2010 at 12:17 am anoukange

    Doug1-

    So, don’t marry. Who says any of you have to? You still got the shaft and you carry that with you. If I went by one term with one lover I would have missed out on other great things. It’s one thing to become wiser from life and it’s another to become bitter. If you’re happy, then you’ve won. What’s the struggle then? I just don’t get it.

    James-

    I tell xsplat to calm down from the experience I’ve had with him in the past. You thinking me telling him in particular to calm down as being inappropriate is like believing the Oxyclean guy wasn’t on coke.

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  208. on April 27, 2010 at 12:22 am anoukange

    oh, and xsplat–

    if you weren’t spazing out on the girl, my bad. Really. I guess you could understand why some may think that you spaz out in real life too, considering.

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  209. on April 27, 2010 at 2:47 am xsplat

    Anouk, why do you post on this forum? What do you think you have to contribute? I haven’t seen anything of value.

    Nothing to this discussion, that’s for sure.

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  210. on April 27, 2010 at 3:38 am xsplat

    Canglong

    Resigned? Why would ever want a woman to simply be resigned to you?

    Canglong, do you realize that your argument is a straw man? Or have you twisted your “logic” into such tight curlycues that you don’t even recognize this?

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  211. on April 27, 2010 at 7:43 am Doug1

    anounkange–

    So, don’t marry. Who says any of you have to? You still got the shaft and you carry that with you.

    It was a long time ago. I haven’t remarried since. Not just because of my experience but because it caused me to start researching divorce in America quite close. Including divorce w/children, it’s prevalance, who files for divorce, why it usually really happens and so on.

    What I’ve discovered has lead to my considerable passion in warning other men off American marriage and the great dangers of having kids here by any means.

    The later really infuriates me because there’s nothing a prenup can do about it. If a man has children in hyper feminist American he has agreed that at his wife or domestic partner’s option for any reason at any time she can kick you out of your house you’ve paid for, steal them from you, and raise them in a matriarchy.

    Sure that doesn’t always happen be as soon as you impregnate a woman that’s her legal power over you and your children at any time.

    that shouldn’t infuriate me?

    Well it does. So I write about it here and elsewhere.

    And haven’t had kids.

    I might not have had them anyway. But these facts have put me over the edge of not.

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  212. on April 27, 2010 at 7:45 am Doug1

    anoukange–

    domestic partnerships are the way to go for men who want to mutually love and emotionally commit with one woman. It’s what I’m in now.

    LikeLike


  213. on April 27, 2010 at 11:49 am Saya

    anoukange is just about the only one in here making sense lately, even attempting to make peace with everyone despite any disagreements in philosophy. Cangalong’s not wrong either.

    LikeLike


  214. on January 10, 2011 at 5:54 am Andy

    What the he’ll are you doing going out with your girl and HER friends? If you were a real alpha you would have turned her against all her old friends and the only women she would know would be your mates girlfriends all whom which are not as well off as you therefore your girlfriend feels like she is the lucky one in the group to have such an alpha male who can have anything he wants ( compared to his mates ) that she just shuts her f@cking mouth unless my dick is in it!

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  215. on March 25, 2011 at 11:47 am Buck

    How’s this rate on your Alpha scale?

    With serious, semi-pissed look you say,” You know [girl’s name], you talk alot less when my dick’s in your mouth.”

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