Today we’ll accompany an average American, SWPL Six-pack, on his daily routine as he makes an effort to meet a number of attractive women that he sees.
It’s a Saturday. He gets up in the morning, showers, dresses and walks to the Starbucks down the block. While waiting at an intersection for the light to change, he notices an attractive girl standing next to him. He pivots to say something to her.
“I’ve got thirty seconds before the light changes to flirt with you. Ready?”
On the sidewalk in front of the Starbucks, he passes another attractive girl.
“Excuse me. Could you tell me where the nearest Starbucks is?”
In Starbucks, waiting in line, he speaks to the attractive girl standing ahead of him.
“Ever notice how fast the Starbucks barristas work in the morning? They must take a triple shot before their shift.”
Outside, holding his drink, he walks to the post office to drop off a letter. On the sidewalk an attractive girl walks toward him.
“Hi!”
At the post office, an attractive girl puts a letter in the mailbox.
“Be careful, that box sends all love letters to my address.”
Leaving the post office, he walks to a clothing store to make some purchases. On the walk over, nine attractive girls pass by him.
“Hi.”
“Hi!”
“Hi there.”
“Hey.”
“Good morning!”
“Excuse me. Where is the nearest dog grooming shop?”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Hello!”
At the store, a girl hovers around the sunglass display.
“You’ll want sunglasses that hide which guys you’re checking out. Don’t worry, you don’t make me self-conscious.”
In the lingerie section, an attractive girl rifles through bras.
“I need to buy something for Mother’s Day. Too frilly?”
Back on the sidewalk, he stops at a street vendor to buy a warm pretzel. An attractive girl is there as well.
“I know this pretzel. I think this guy shops at Costco and marks up 1,000 percent.”
He goes home to get his frisbee. He plans to meet a friend at the local park. On the way home, five more attractive girls ping his visual field.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Hi!”
“Hi.”
“Happy Saturday!”
On the walk to the park, two more attractive girls. He pretends to throw the frisbee to them.
“Catch!”
“Catch! Ohh, too slow.”
At the park, he and his friend spend more time ogling the girls than tossing the frisbee. A throw goes astray and lands near the feet of an attractive girl.
“I had my buddy throw it near you on purpose. I’m smooooooth.”
After playing frisbee, he goes to dinner at a local cafe with his friend. An attractive girl serves them.
“I heard the waitresses here are good flirters. Ok, let’s see what you’ve got.”
Dinner ends, and his friend leaves. He goes to Whole Foods to pick up some smelly cheese and grass-fed beef for the week. On the walk to Whole Foods, three attractive girls and one incredibly ugly girl pass him.
“Hi.”
“Hi!”
“Hi.”
*silence*
Loitering in the cheese section, he notices one of his exes is there. He sidles up to an attractive girl rummaging through the assortment of goat cheeses.
“Hey, I just noticed my ex is here. Right over there. I’m going to ask you a favor. Pretend you’re flirting with me so I can make her jealous. I’ll return the favor by flirting back. Trust me, you’ll thank me.”
Back at home, cutting off a hunk of cheese and downloading new Yeah Yeah Yeahs music, he makes plans to hit the local social venue with his buddies. Once arrived, he orders drinks from the attractive girl bartender.
“Don’t think this means we have something going on.”
A few hours socializing and drinking, he has met and spoken with six attractive girls. Walking home later that night, he steps next to an attractive girl at an intersection.
“I like your hat. Very trendy right now.”
He goes home to sleep, a full day behind him.
***
The above did not actually happen. Or, more to the point, it is not an accurate depiction of a day in the life of the typical, average American man who wishes he could meet more women. The number of attractive girls he saw on that Saturday is realistic, but the number of those girls he spoke to is, woefully, not.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the wittiest opener, or the smoothest delivery. If you open your mouth and say something as benign as “Hi” to thirty-eight attractive girls on a single Saturday, you will have rocketed yourself ahead of 99% of men who passed by those same girls and said nothing. You would have brought yourself closer to sex with at least one of those girls that wouldn’t have been the case had you walked by them silently, cursing your inaction once the moment evaporated.
Now add in a little game. You’ve just hurdled 99.9% of men who pass by those girls without muttering a word on that typical, “boring” Saturday. Are you beginning to recognize just how powerful this stuff is?
Opportunity is everywhere for those with the eyes to see.
Wait.
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have new music out?
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Good post
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Just reading this will make most guys nervous.
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omg you guys are forgetting the #1 easiest way.
print up some cool business cards representing the cooler parts of your life–hopefully you run your own business.
hand it to her and say hey we’re having a party and thought you might like to come email me.
if she takes it, then you can say, “say, do you have a card?”
in 30 seconds she can have your email/contact and you can have hers which is good because i get so many shcik’s cars that i of lose them lzozxllzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlz.
& they email me to say hey they googled me and found me interesting.
and i text them: “lozlzllzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlz zlet’s get it on lzolzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzllzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlzlz”
and they text me: “you’re so funny haha.”
and i go “no i mean it lozlzlzlzlzlzllzlzlzzlzlzlz zlzozzzlzozlzozlzozlzlzozolzlzlzozzllzlzlzlzlz!!!!!!!!”
lzozlzlzl
and they forget about the party opening line by the time they are goin up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down as girls need to get off too and at the last second i pull out and stand up and go lolzlzozlzozlzozlzozozzl ozlzlzoozo all over her as she licks it.
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This is something I have wondered about: how much of the effectiveness of “Game” is simply placebo effect?
In other words, if I’m “running game” and try a dozen “approaches” in one night, OF COURSE I’m going to have a better chance of hooking up than if I’m sitting in the corner drinking alone, or sitting on my couch at home playing Warcraft.
I’d like to propose an experiment: run 100 guys through some “game” training seminar and pit them against 100 guys recruited at random. Let the wannabe PUAs use all the tricks of “game” they learned, while the other dudes simply are told they’ll get $20 for each girl they talk to for more than a minute. I suspect at the end of the evening there’d be a similar number of “phone number closes” or even hookups among both groups.
[editor: i’d take that bet. i’ve seen too many guys with no game blow it with girls because what they were talking about was boring to the girls. game fixes that problem.]
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Boy I love his attitude, but either america is full of attractive girls or he has pretty low standards 😉
38+ attractive girls in a day! lol. I have to move there.
[editor: on a typical saturday in a populated region it’s easy to see 300 women. 38 cute chicks out of 300 women is not unreasonable.]
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Trimegistus. Wrong, the random guys wont try to close. Give them 100 bucks for each kiss they get from a different girl and thats an experiment Id like to see.
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If you’re ever in a club (or anywhere really, where there are attractive women) and you’re thinking hard about some witty thing to say to them, just think: would you want someone coming up to you with some weird, elaborate, trying-to-hard line?
No, fuck that! You’d want them to say “hi”.
So, just stroll up and say hi. That’s it.
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Since I’ve started gaming and learning about pua, Mystery Method, alpha behavior and trying out techniques on this site, my confidence has shot up tremendously.
After a dry spell, some “one-itis” I shagged two girls over a weekend simply by escalating kino, passing shit tests and just proceeding during LMR.
I’ve also noticed something else….women I’m gaming, aren’t always “nice” or “sweet”…in fact when they start to get interested, then they actually turn around…shit tests, other passive-aggressive behaviour.
In the past, I would have simply gone Beta….”What’s wrong?” “Everything ok?” Now…I act indifferent. The response is tremendously positive.
I also now realize that when women are upset, or angry that you’re ignoring them or pushing back on their shit-tests….this is a positive sign. In the past i would have thought “oh gosh…gonna lose her, better do something nice”…now more and more, I’m noticing their IOI’s and then switching to the next stage of seduction.
I’m not perfect, but it takes practice and also requires both patience and sometimes greater sensitivity to cues and signs.
Working two or three girls at the same time also ensures my “one-itis” that I was battling is kept in greater check and I can respond without obsessing over a possible outcome.
Yes…opportunities are everywhere.
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AIDA! Get out there! You’ve got the prospects coming in… sitting out there waiting to give you their pussy!
Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it!
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@Steve Johnson
I had the same reaction. Immediately checked their website to see if there was something new.
Roissy, don’t toy with your readers like that.
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Starbucks? Meh. Roissy, I knew you were a beta, but now I figure you for metro.
No self respecting alpha would be caught dead at a place that sells 6 dollar cups of coffee.
I’m laughing at the superior intllognc
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Saying “hi” is so huge. It kills me when friends or acquaintances of mine tuck their head down and pretend their kicking rocks whenever they see a pretty girl. I try to make it a point to say hi to everyone, even the ugly girls. I also make sure to look at them until they look back and make some kind of eye contact. Sometimes you get that girl with that eyes forward menacing stare. They purposefully do not look your way. I make an extra effort to say hi to them.
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“I’d like to propose an experiment: run 100 guys through some “game” training seminar and pit them against 100 guys recruited at random.”
I’d bet that if you broke it up into 3 groups:
1) Full game seminar
2) Random recruits
3) Guys who are given two rules (don’t talk about or ask about work, don’t ever directly answer a question)
Group 3 would do the best overall but group 1 would have the guys who do the best out of everyone.
Group 2 would have some guys who did much better simply by approaching and guys who got so discouraged that they quit.
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Good way to get the point across. Just building comfort with talking to people can do wonders for the average guy. But I agree that game takes that to an entirely new level.
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“Happy Saturday!” That’s a good one, Roissy… it made me laugh.
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agree with svdog — you have to say Hi to the ugly girls too. They’ll get a nice kick from it, and it doesn’t commit you to anything, and there’s a small chance you’ll run into the ugly girl again when she is with a hot friend so you will have a big head start on the usual trick of paying attention to the less hot one first (because she’ll recognize you and won’t think you’re just doing it to get close to her hot friend, so she’ll be happy instead of suspicious).
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Here is what I wonder. If you spend all this time trying to pick up girls, how much of the rest of your life are you enjoying? Although I’m sure some guys really do go through life terrified of talking to women. I am sure there are others that simply aren’t concerned with women 24/7, that are thinking about their careers, their friends, philosophy.
I think part of what makes the indifference ascribed to by MM and other PUA techniques, is that it gives the illusion that the guy doesn’t need your approval. That the guy is a rounded individual who isn’t soley focused on your looks and picking you up.
I wouldn’t want to date someone who didn’t have something interesting to say. Which is why I am often not attracted to the boys who are what most would consider “attractive”. Yes I like game in a person, I would like someone to be charming. But I wouldn’t want to be with someone who can only see life through the lense of love. That would be a very monochromatic view.
-S
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*silence*
hahaha good stuff. could pretty much work as a blueprint. jay-z would be proud.
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i understand full well that opportunity is everywhere but goddamnit i’m really shy
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Epic post. So blindingly simple and succinct.
@svegliate. You are missing the point completely. He wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. He was describing a normal person on a normal day, doing normal things. It’s not like he had to go rearrange his entire day and go across town for no reason. This happens every day and people could be doing it every day if they just opened their eyes.
Besides, the average guy isn’t happy and enjoying his life. He is cursing and muttering to himself because he didn’t say anything to the 18 cute girls he just passed in the course of doing everyday activities.
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@asdfasdf
So don’t expect any pussy if you’re too shy to get it. On the other hand, maybe you just have an overinflated sense of self, and you think that if you “blow it” they will continue to think about how much you blew it for the rest of their lives. That is, of course, wrong. They will forget you in 2 minutes or less. So get out there and make a stab at it. Confidence is attractive.
When you’re 20, you worry about what other people think about you. When you’re 40, you don’t care what other people think about you. When you’re 60, you realize they weren’t thinking about you at all.
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If you are scared of talking to girls, make it a point to talk to people. All people. At the grocery store and the dry cleaners, on the bus and at work. Even if it is a five-second conversation about the weather, it’s a start. Once you get comfortable chatting with strangers, and learning to sustain those conversations, doing the same with pretty girls is not hard.
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Once you start approaching you see opportunities where other people just see a line in the grocery store.
It’s like the skill level of a basketball player. Someone who doesn’t play much standing at the top of the key, taking a 3 point shot, the hoop looks pretty small and far away. To someone who practices and has developed their shooting skill, the shot is easily attainable and the hoop looks much closer. This opens up more opportunity to score points…the same way you start seeing opportunity to start conversations.
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Now that is a concept which almost all men ignore, but should not. I realized very early on that it was a numbers game.
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@svegliate
“…that are thinking about their careers, their friends, philosophy.”
Or goin’ broke!
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Speaking to strangers terrifies me, but it’s way easier if you have a friend around, especially if it’s an encouraging friend.
Building banter with people serving you is easier, those you have a reason to talk to.
Questions which have a purpose like ‘Have you got the time?’ or ‘Where’s the man?’
Making exclamations of what you’re thinking (“Beautiful day!” “Crowded in here.”) that a stranger overhears, and then picking up the conversation as you involve them if they glance at you.
Doing it with strangers who aren’t attractive women.
Baby steps to build the shy person’s confidence, as you get comfortable with it.
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Where’s the man? Freudian slip.
I meant to say something like ‘Where’s the station?’
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My problem is still that I find it a lot easier to approach 38 women while drinking with a light buzz and hopping around from bar to bar on a Saturday night than I do walking around and going to Whole Foods in during the day.
I also don’t live in a city where you can really walk to many places and high concentrations of people and greater chances of seeing attractive chicks tend only happen at bars.
It makes me miss my hometown, where I used to day game all of the time as a youngster.
That being said, liquid courage definitely helps me out at the bars as well… I’m not denying that.
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So true. My experience dating on Match especially confirms this. Even if you have the tighest Game, most girls will still be uninterested in you sleeping with you. Why? Because women are just hard-wired to not need to fuck as much—and they’re inherently choosier about mates, for obvious evo pysch reasons. An HB10 is attractive to 95 percent of guys. But a male 10 with Game is probably only attractive to 50-60 percent of women. Thing is, that’s a shitload of pussy.
What any real PUA or Gamesman knows is that even the most successful PUAs only end up fucking 10-20 percent of the girls they approach. So they do hundreds, if not thousands of approaches. If you’ve approached 1000 women, 6 or better, and you’ve banged 100 of them then you are without question skilled in the art of Game. Is there any other pursuit where you can bat .200 or less and be considered an unqualified success?
It’s absolutely a numbers game—and it’s a shame that a lot of the guys running these PUA seminars and shit don’t tell the AFCs that. Game isn’t something strategized at home or at a seminar or even on a blog…it’s something that’s tested and refined in the crucible of the sexual marketplace. Only after you’ve approached enough women, and only after you’ve had your ego torn to shreds and endured bouts of nearly crippling self-doubt can you rise like a phoenix from the ashes of the fiery furnace of female rejection. That is where the Game is and true Inner Game forged. Only a handful of guys have attained that nirvana.
I’m not one of them. But I’ll get as close as I can, Inshallah.
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[…] (04/14/10): Roissy’s post today pretty much defines what I have to do and what all of you should do […]
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But I’ll get as close as I can, Inshallah.
Now that was a surprise.
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Roissy–
I love that line.
Well, I love a lot of them in this post. ‘Cause the seem and probably were extemporaneous. Tough there’s nothing wrong with remembering a few with fairly wide application. Lot of waitresses/shop girls in each of our worlds.
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Nation of Islam me thinks.
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This is daygame. I prefer it to bar game and blog about it.
You go in with a direct approach, stating your intent, i.e. saying “hi, I think you’re beautiful”, then proceed to an opinion statement and number close within 5 minutes or an instadate.
This is not mystery method. It is very effective and cuts out a lot of bullshit.
Check out krauserpua.com. He has videos of direct approaches, it’s what got me started.
Ultimately, however, most men won’t follow up on direct daygame as it’s too high pressure and the perceived risk to one’s pride is too great.
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To Art:
Being a guy must really suck if you can’t be happy unless you’re talking to cute girls 24/7. I like guys as much as the next person, but my whole day isn’t ruined if they don’t talk to me.
And you say he isn’t rearranging his daily life, but my point is that he is.
“you focus less on playing Frisbee and more on ogling the cute girls.”
The whole point of this post is that is a CHANGE of behavior. You may not be changing your flight plan from place to place, but you are still very much changing how you behave. To the point where every action is modified so it involves talking to/flirting with/ or being with girls.
This kind of behavior reminds me of the girls who can only ever talk about the cute guys. They’re boring, annoying and far from entertaining.
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@ Doug1
No, not Nation of Islam. I was raised Protestant Christian, but have no particular religious affiliation these days.
So yeah, I’d appreciate it if you refrained from associating me with a racist cult—thanks in advance buddy.
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I though being too eager and saying hi first all the time was beta? Serious question. No lolllzzzzzing.
There were some unfriendly gals in my social circle that I used to say hi to. They were always cold. I said hi anyway because we shared mutual interest (kid in school).
Once I started ignoring them the perked up considerably. Now they ‘search’ for my attention and a hi from me.
Maybe its because kids are involved. Though I find ladies at work are the same way.
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yes, a quality post! Resonates very well with my experience and it is the same phenomena as pickup “momentum”, when after a few weeks being social you roll in options and have completely different attitude. Or when you show up at the club / party and chat up all girls in sight right away and then bound to score with someone who wasn’t even around in the beginning.
Like I said before, getting rid of this, as 60 years calls it, micro-avoidance is the most alpha thing you can do.
Seconded on the number of attractive girls though. Unless during the day DC proper >> Clarendon?
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tonbone,
You should say hi to girls you’ve never seen before. If you see them regularly and they have never responded well to “hi”, change the pattern — start a real conversation or be silent.
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Roissy–
Love it!
While this would work better if your attractive ex really was there withing easy sight of you two cause it could sustain the set in this mode for longer if/when the ex did act uncomfortable, it would be a pretty damn good opening and inducement for her to flirt with you even if you did have to say pretty soon that you were just kidding that that girl over there was an ex. Good times (as Bhetti likes to say)!
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Until the spoiler I thought you had followed me but of course it seems I do your Saturday all the time with only one of all the hi’s to small talk becoming anything more., But of course that is reality.
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Polymath,
Thanks. I’ve done that and its worked well. Took me a bit to see what was going on. Perceived relative status plays a role too.
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What about regular Joes who aren’t SWPLers? I know this isn’t applicable to me (I only take to heart some of the LTR game stuff) but there are plenty of dudes who don’t want the pretense of being a hipster or simply don’t live in an area like that. And no, I don’t mean the boonies, I mean average medium-city America. There’s definitely something to be said about being direct and seeing opportunity everywhere, but many of your scenarios don’t work outside of big and liberal cities.
I know it’s less genuine to offer advice not based on direct personal experience, but can I suggest making a few posts with different allegories for those outside the DC/NYC/LA/Seattle type metros?
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That was SWPL heaven right there.
Nice post. Very uplifting and positive.
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“Loitering in the cheese section, he notices one of his exes is there. He sidles up to an attractive girl rummaging through the assortment of goat cheeses.
“Hey, I just noticed my ex is here. Right over there. I’m going to ask you a favor. Pretend you’re flirting with me so I can make her jealous. I’ll return the favor by flirting back. Trust me, you’ll thank me.””
Makes you look weak. Chicks do the petty, insecure thing and try to make their ex’s jealous. Men don’t.
Anyway, if you broke up with her, why do you need to make her jealous? You can always get her back. If she dumped for the looser you are, than yeah, you’d want to make her jealous.
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would have been funny if our hypothetical swpl smooth was out giving $5 bills to little kids in the neighborhood.
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This is some really good advice. Since I started following it — though not to the extent that the artciel describes, sadly — both my happiness and dating prospects have skyrocketed. And the best thing is that there is virtually nothing to lose in this kind of view 🙂
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Bucket
Other than the Starbucks stuff and maybe the sort of joking calling a hat or whatever it was trendy, I’d think most of this would work for average income guys in middle sized mid America cities. What else do you think wouldn’t? The lines I quoted as especially liking I think all would, esp. the waitress one.
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Assassin: you’re overthinking. Chicks like drama, that’s why.
On another note: what trips some guys up is knowing that they have no follow-up to their snappy opener. Normally it’s easy for me when I feel the mojo coursing through the bloodstream. Things just sort of come out of my mouth. If a girl gives IOIs, great: fuel for the banter. If she clams up or shit tests, great: fuel for the banter.
But on blah days when mojo levels slip down to the diabetic threshold, it’s hard to say something cool for followup.
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Re: talking to strangers.
When I was newly divorced, I started going to singles bars. I didn’t have a reliable wingman because all of my friends were married and couldn’t always go out when I did. So on those occasions where I was alone in a singles bar, the first thing I did was find a male specimen even more pitiful than me, and strike up a conversation. We clearly had something in common, and to some extent you are practicing the opening skills of meeting strangers in a bar.
You have to quickly establish that you aren’t attempting a gay pickup, of course, but for the rest of the night you can be wingmen for one another. Once you get comfortable doing this, you can then use a more altruistic motivation to approach those other two girls, i.e., I’m approaching them to help out my pitiful new friend, not for any selfish reasons. For some reason this made it easier, and now that I know about game, what it also did was make it easier to get my own mind into a frame of non-desperation and more aloofness as to the result, because it’s for my friend, after all.
Maybe I really will start a blog.
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Bucket–
What you really should be trying to grock from Roissy though in the piece and all of his directly on game and on the evo psych derrived gender differences, is his mindset and his approach.
Don’t think of girls as equals. think them equally valuable is fine, but they’re made to follow the right man. Your job is to tease them, be playfully, just kidding, offhand dominant, in a fully confident, don’t really give a shiite if this particular girl is attracted enough to you or not way. Then it’s a lot more likely that she or another girl as hot as her will be.
Notice how in the waitress line Roissy ends with a challenge to her “lets see what you’ve got” (in flirting ability). He probably made that up on the spot because he knows it’s good to challenge girls instead of always having to perform for them, and he’s challenging her to do what he wants her to do of course. As well if she’s a live one she probably has flirted pretty well she thinks with some customers she was attracted to and she’s imagining those rumors he’s heard were really about her!! If she’s shy and that thought doesn’t cross her mind she still knows or feels that he’s playfully flirting w/her in a cleaver, confidant way. So what’s Roissy lost here? Nada.
See and feel the dynamics. Then you can adapt them to you and your environment. Remembering some of his specific lines here is the least of it, though I guess it can help to start with.
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A timely post for me. Hanging out at and around a cafe in my SWPL neighborhood yesterday, I saw about half a dozen attractive young women who looked open to approach (Spring is here!). A couple I actually talked to (without game, alas) and with the others I silently cursed my inaction. Opportunities are truly everywhere.
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i would have liked to see a few “apocalypse openers” in these.
such as “hi!” followed immediately by, “wanna fuck?”
or the goofy-funny austin powers version: “do I make you horny, baby? DO I ???”
OK, this last line is very nerdy any time past 1998. but i still would like to see it done some time, candid-camera style, just to see what would happen. 1 or 2 times out of 10, you’d get a conversation going.
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p.s.
http://www.theonion.com/video/cosmopolitan-institute-completes-decadeslong-study,14257/
enjoy.
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If a girl ever slyly asks you while she’s holding her cat
“want to pet my pussy?”
You can say, “Sure, if you come over to my place and beat my cock around, damn thing wakes me up every morning.”
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svegliate
You’re completely missing the point of this post. Yours is a much more apt observation of Roissy’s much more frequent hot girls bar posts, where he does spend a whole lot of time.
He’s just going about his day her, but saying a lot of hi’s on the side when he sees pretty girls. Most of those are just real low probability hooks in the water unlikely to get a strike unless e.g. a girl is right then to the max wanting to be on the rebound or something. But if he gets a hit with one of his random to pretty girls hi, then why the hell not?
Then he’s got his higher chance in passing flirtations, like his waiting at the crosswalk for the light to change “I’ve got 30s seconds to flirt with you. Go!” Well he’s at the crosswalk waiting anyway. If she doesn’t bite or doen’t seem interesting or interested in those 30 seconds, he crosses the street ignoring her further. What’s lost?
Same with the waitress line.
Now he probably did want to frisbee in the park mostly to hit one girls so you could skip that if you want, but what the hey, it’s a nice way of enjoying a nice warm spring day.
You know even if you’re in a loving relationship with someone some of these light flirtations, which you wouldn’t then probably take much of anywhere, can make your day a lot brighter, and girls’ you lightly and confidently flirt with days brighter too. Spread the spark!
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Stud Dynamite–
Carendon Virginia has lots of hot girls hunnh?
Well Roissy would hang in Virginia rather than Maryland if he’s still in the overall vicinity.
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Sadly most men who try this are going to be disingenuous about it. Their intent will betray them as much as if they had the courage to utter an apocalypse addendum.
If you do this while channeling genuine joy and happiness (and maintain disinterest in a calculated outcome) it would truly be the best for everyone. Bitch shields melting left and right, a new dawn of sexual and interpersonal relations! hahaha
Predicting some woman-slapping, betrayal type post to soon follow.
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Doug1,
No I get that, and like I said, I think there’s plenty to his point on opportunities being all around you if you’re a single guy and how to take charge of the situation. It’s not applicable to me as a married guy, but I think it’s important for single guys to have that mentality.
I was more selective in my approach simply because I’m a pretty religious person and I selectively weeded out plenty of women after getting to know them for a few minutes or seeing them at like whores at parties/in bars/wherever. But truth be told is that I was way too hung up on finding the right girl before I even approached one for the longest time! Sure, there were plenty of women who wouldn’t fit the bill I had in mind, but how would I know unless I approached some?!
The story of meeting my wife is pretty weird and backwards to be honest, but the prelude to that is one that Roissy has stressed constantly. You need to be confident and you need to understand what women want and what your role is in life as a man. I disagree plenty with him about sexuality morality (or lack thereof in his case) and I’m more of trying to find the right girl instead of trying to get as much action as possible, but I genuinely think there is a middle ground between being a cad and being a gigantic pussy. Unlike Roissy, I really do think that men are happier with monogamy. True enough that we are built for polygamy so as to ensure the survival of the species, but it’s clear that men who find life partners are happier and healthier in the long run. Plus, having kids and raising them rocks (especially sons), I don’t care what R. says about that. Besides, we need more young men acting like men and more young women not being whorish.
The problem really is how marriage can change men if you let it. You can let it dull your edge and make you complacent… which in turn makes you less desirable to your wife and less likely she’ll work to keep herself desirable to you! Breaking that negative feedback loop is a huge problem in most marriages.
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Bucket
If you haven’t see it yet, check Athol Kay’s blog on married game. Googling that phrase starting w/his name should get you there.
Also google site search here for <>. Get compendium of that guy’s married game long comments on many roissy’s thread over the last couple of years, with Roissy’s approving commentary.
Dave f Hawaii is really inspiring to lots of married guys cause he turned his marriage around from being really in the toiled and headed in felt in his gut to his hot and previously very in love w/him wife divorcing him, due to his sinking way into good guy beta in his marriage, to her sexing him almost at will, being happily gamed by him left and right and about never nagging him anymore cause he treats it largely as shit tests, and so on.
I think any married guy that doesn’t google for these should be shot. Or suffer American divorce 2.0 theft, which is similar.
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Question: How do you differentiate a shit test from a girl’s genuine disinterest or disdain for you?
I’m not shy, and do not want to give up and go beta where there is an opportunity to make progress, but at what point do you have to take her signs of disinterest as signs of disinterest, and give up on gaming her and move to the next girl?
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PA… I agree, chick love drama. But then they love drama with their girlfriends too. If you’re an alpha male, you’re a rock. Drama free.
Anyway, the girl may like the drama you’re putting her into and have fun with it, but I doubt it will get her attracted to you.
[editor: early game, almost by definition, requires the manufacture of drama. you can’t expect to pick up strange girls by being a rock, unless you’re famous.]
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Bucket
Shitte. I guess I issued unintentional html as interpreted here, creating a disappearance.
The second thing you should google for married game is a site search on this blog for:
relationship week dave from hawaii
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Cut and paste witty paragraph to:
300 women on any dating site
30 will respond;
10 will meet for coffee
3 for drinks
same result.
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Doug1:
I guess there is nothing wrong with being friendly. Heck I say hi, to almost everyone I meet on the street unless they look sketch. I’ve been known to spontaneously bust out, “You’re looking hot today,” ((if it’s a friend)) or “I can’t imagine a more beautiful day.” Or even the how you doing.
But this is because I feel happy and fulfilled, not to make me feel happy and fulfilled. I want to share the joy that I experience with other people, and maybe meet some new people.
I “open” people, guys, girls, old and young, all the time every day. Although I am probably warier of talking to guys because then they assume that if I say hi to them and smile it means that I’m interested in them sexually, though 9/10 I’m not.
But I don’t do this because I want something from them — like to sleep with them –, but because I want to share something with them, namely my happiness. And that’s what bothers me, not so much about this post, but a lot of the posts here: The idea that everyone’s worth both man and women depends upon their position in the sex game.
If all the mattered was our animal instincts than we would still be animals, rutting dirtily in the ground. But this very post proves that that isn’t all that matters.
The mark of the greatness of human kind is that in many ways we’ve moved past our baser desires. I’m not saying we’ve bypassed them completely, or else PUA wouldn’t work. What I am saying is that if PUA and sex is your number one priority in life I think you’re missing out on a lot of the beauty of the world around you.
I’m not saying ignore sex. But if it is the only way you can see the world than I worry.
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And if you’re not famous, try the Lorenzo von Matterhorn.
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What motivates you to write a new post every day?
The problem is that i wont check back here to see if u replied.
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And if you’re not famous, try the Lorenzo von Matterhorn.
!! 🙂
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So does this apply to women? Should we take every opportunity to say hello to men?
[editor: are you cute? then yes.]
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This clarifies a lot. Thanks Roissy.
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Too bad this guy’s gay. Starbucks, grass fed beef and Yeah Yeah Yeahs all in the same day? No wonder he’s good with the ladies.
[editor: damn woman, why you gotta be all no no no about the yeah yeah yeahs?]
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I’m totally yeah yeah yeah about the YYY’s, but real men don’t like female vocalists, end of story.
[editor: who sings with a heavier sack — pat benatar or michael buble?]
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Real men like the female vocalists in Tatu.
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Sarah–
Oh bullshiite.
We tend to not like ball busting macho type ones is all.
Don’t believe everything your bf tells you girly.
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How about mall game? Is that a variation of day game? I’d like to see a post on it.
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We tend to not like ball busting macho type ones is all
Sometimes I don’t mind those. Ones I don’t like are Lillith Fairish lesbo whiners like Paula Cole from the early 90s, with her wretchedly ungrateful “Where have all the cowboys gone.”
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Sarah.
Look.
Prepare yourself.
You…
… sound like a real stupid ditz. Who thinks real men are gay.
Because God forbid a heterosexual man enjoy a woman’s voice. I mean why would he enjoy a woman’s voice, having straight male sexuality. Why would he enjoy a woman wearing skintight clothes, breathlessly singing like she was in the midst of being pleasured? It’s just, wow. You know?
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I’ve said it before and Ill say it again just saying Hi, Hello, Or Hey how’s it going and having a witty remark will get you so laid if you do it just right.
Fucking awesome post by the way!!!!!!!!
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Noted.
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I hate that I used the term “real men”. To begin with, masculinity’s a separate issue from sexuality as exemplified by some older civilisations.
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this is so fucking true.. my friends wonder why i have so many bitches, i tell them all i do iis make sure if i see a honey i holla at her… not just ignore her like some pussy biatch
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That’s it? You tease. I totally wanted to bitch it out with you.
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lol at real men not liking female vocalists. thats just nuts.
plenty of hot and awesome female singers. see exhibit a ) stevie nicks in fleetwood mac. exhibit b) hope sandoval of mazzy star. and i could go on.
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Great post, and those are a bunch of truly valid openers. Its going to be a good summer.
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On these sarcastic phrases: what do you do after she starts busting your balls?
An example: overheard in a movie theater some guy says deadpan to his date “These 3D glasses are horrible. Do try to keep your hands to yourself, though. I know I rock ’em hard.”
Her:”Yeah, right. Like I’m going to grab you or something. The glasses looks even worse with your shaved head.”
Him: (Looking amused) “Listen to you!” Followed by something I couldn’t quite catch.
The rest of the movie I watched them more than the flick. She showed obvious disinterest in her body language.
After seeing him after the movie waiting for the girl while she used a washroom, I couldn’t resist and asked him how long they had been seeing each other.
Date number 3, with plenty of texts and phone calls, he says.
I watched them leave the cineplex. I doubt there was a date 4 judging by her full court strut away from him out the door.
So?
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Idk if I am cute, rather sophiscated exotic? I have my days.
But on a regular basis I get stared at intently by men, women, and children. It happens so much that I feel like a freak!
Example: At the supermarket checkout line, baby in cart in front of me. Baby can be in any state- queit, content, happy, sad- baby sees my face. Baby stops and just stares at me with no expression! I can make a “face” and baby will not look away!
Example 2: I get stared at all kinds of men, but not approached enough to match those numbers. Are they all just beta providers?
I don’t think this means I am attractive or not, but I am self conscience now (this has been happening my whole adult life) and the idea of saying Hi to random people makes me hesitant. Any thoughts about what this means?
I have been told I look exotic ,but that is not enough to explain this phenomenon.
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@kaikou Umm, babies stare at people – it’s just what they do. be glad it didn’t start crying.
As to men staring but not approaching, you probably have unreceptive body language or eye contact. Just a hunch. Most guys won’t approach anyway, because women are hostile. But more receptive body language and eye contact is likely to increase the number (assuming that’s what your after).
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You guys should just listen to R and quit yur cavilling.
Numbers game works better than a brief glance would indicate. The reasons are subtle but powerful.
First, merely making a non-desperate come-on to the girl suggests to her hind-brain that you are doing this because you occasionally get lucky, at least often enough to keep you coming back. = instant social proof.
Second, consider that a portion of your targets are at that moment doing a girl version of what you are up to. Sometimes a girl goes to Starbucks looking for a deeper form of satisfaction than what she gets from hot, steaming coffee with some fresh cream on top.. . The likelihood of this being true will vary drastically with the venue, but so what.
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Most women aren’t open to randomly flirting as part of your jealousy plotline. There’s no reason.
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A great post which both sexes could benefit from reading, and a sad commentary on modern life that it had to be written at all. I don’t know how many times my girlfriends have bemoaned to me the difficulty of “finding” men. Open your eyes; they’re everywhere! Loneliness is most often a choice, especially if you are one in a city of millions.
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Great post. I had the numbers worked out to something like this:
5 approaches = 1 number
3 numbers = 1 date
3 dates = 1 kino escalation/makeout
2 escalations = 1 bang
So in other words, you have to do 90 approaches for each bang. If you want a new one every two weeks that’s almost 200 approaches per month. I set this as a par, and see how well I can do against it.
Another metric to analyze is cost. Start with the total cost of going to bars, clubs, and cafes that month. Add the cost of taking girls on dates, if you are beta enough to take girls on paid dates. Add in the cost of second and third date drinks and dinner that you need to pay for to get in some girl’s pants. Divide this total amount by the number of new girls you banged. This is your cost per bang (credit to ROOSH for this concept). Can you bring the cost down to lower than what you’d pay to be with an 8 or 9 hooker who knows all kinds of sexual tricks? Probably not. It’s depressing.
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Like a skein of loose silk blown against a wall
She walks by the railing of a path in Kensington Gardens,
And she is dying piece-meal
of a sort of emotional anemia.
And round about there is a rabble
Of the filthy, sturdy, unkillable infants of the very poor.
They shall inherit the earth.
In her is the end of breeding.
Her boredom is exquisite and excessive.
She would like some one to speak to her,
And is almost afraid that I
will commit that indiscretion.
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Oh, but we can’t quote Pound on this blog without including:
The girl in the tea shop
Is not so beautiful as she was,
The August has worn against her.
She does not get up the stairs so eagerly;
Yes, she also will turn middle-aged,
And the glow of youth that she spread about us
As she brought us our muffins
Will be spread about us no longer,
She also will turn middle-aged.
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@Hair Club For Alphas
“Question: How do you differentiate a shit test from a girl’s genuine disinterest or disdain for you?
I’m not shy, and do not want to give up and go beta where there is an opportunity to make progress, but at what point do you have to take her signs of disinterest as signs of disinterest, and give up on gaming her and move to the next girl?”
In my experience, you cut and run when after a series of shit tests you’ve passed….you get still more shit tests and…it stops being fun.
Then you change your “game”. See the posts here on “How to Revive a Flagging Relationship”.
Go quiet, aloof. I just started No Contact Game after the same situation…shit tests which started getting more boring or hostile. You can’t parry every shit test, so you try an alternative strategy.
In my case, go quiet. It has an impact. The one I was gaming approached me last night trying to get my attention. I made some quick funny comment about her outfit, walked away and ignored her for the rest of the night.
Game is about YOUR frame control. IF the shit tests get to be too much, reframe. NO CONTACT GAME…. read about it and try it out.
Also, game other girls. Some girls with their shit tests are hiding something…they’ve been hurt, they’re not ready etc etc etc. If you can’t break through a wall….find a way around it…but don’t waste your time or you’ll be stuck with “one-itis”
Hope that helps.
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Roissy,
Do you realize how taxing and time consuming it becomes to say Hi to the 30 odd women the guy meets everyday? IMO it is wiser to look for IOIs and then go from there.
A lot of guys getting in to the scene are directed to do 5 sets a night for a period of 30 days, its great in the short term to get rid of approach anxiety but I don’t know of anyone who can keep up. The same applies for the advice you’ve written. I would rather approach 2 girls I know for sure who will be interested than chatting up 2 dozen I’m unsure of
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@beta in denial
Irrational confidence will take you infinitly further than being realistically conservative. Of course, extremes in either direction have their own pitfalls.
Having said that, you might be reading into what you saw a bit too much. Sometimes it is what it is: don’t talk during the movies.
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Hi Roissy,
I met this girl a few weeks ago who’s about 10 years younger than me and pretty kinky. I’ve kept the relationship in the fun fuck-buddy zone so far. I’m trying to have a threesome with her. She seems a little curious and has agreed it may be fun. I’m afraid that when it comes to the crunch she will get insecure.
I’ve got reasonable game, but this is a whole new level for me. Advice please!
Supernaut
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“3) Guys who are given two rules (don’t talk about or ask about work, don’t ever directly answer a question)”
I recently used this rule at a work happy hour (unintentionally, I was just sick of talking about work). A new employee I had only briefly met before asked me what my background was, intending to get talk of previous jobs and education. I replied, “I like to brew beer and I coach a youth football team.” Totally threw her for a loop and opened up the conversation.
When I was in grad school, the basic AFC question was “so what is your research?” Someone asked me that in a van on a road trip to a winery – I told him I was sorry but I was going to take nap.
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A woman told me that saying hi to every woman makes a man look “desperate” to women.
I don’t believe it; is there a rational response to this?
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Bucket says, “Unlike Roissy, I really do think that men are happier with monogamy.”
No, *you* are happier with monogamy. Men are happy following whatever the society they live in tells them that they are happier with, be that monogamy or the current male financial slavery, or whatever. Most men, even if they are suffering from a system, lack the will and a deep enough desire to change it.
(Back in the day, some slave owners made a point of producing children with their slaves so they could make new slaves easily, and the existing one would feel more obligated…)
Monogamy with a suitable woman may bring you actual joy in focussing your attentions on one special person. For a great many people however, it is little more than distribution control. It is a fragile concept that requires a stable and gender realistic culture to maintain.
Svegliate says, “And that’s what bothers me, not so much about this post, but a lot of the posts here: The idea that everyone’s worth both man and women depends upon their position in the sex game.”
Generally, for the middle classes anyway, it does. This is what western people have reduced themselves to, and it is better to be aware of it and accept it than to deny it.
Denial won’t change it.
Those of us who don’t think that way must absolutely learn and accept the truth of the situation around us today. Otherwise, we’ll remain confused and bungling through, taking a lot of unnecessary damage.
I don’t agree with a lot of what is said here, but I accept that this is how people feel. Knowing this has helped me in many ways.
It has utterly destroyed mercy-pity in me, but it has given me much more compassion than I had when I viewed myself as well, unfairly “marked as prey”.
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Badger, it depends how it’s done. In southern culture, if you make eye contact with someone, you’re supposed to greet them. If you do it that way, then in the worst case, folks will just think you’re friendly or southern.
It’s not chasing anyone down. It’s just being engaging and polite but in a “has testicles” way.
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@badger nation
“A woman told me that saying hi to every woman makes a man look “desperate” to women.
I don’t believe it; is there a rational response to this?”
Dude… did you seriously just tell a girl that you only say hi to girls?
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Awesome advice.
By bathing in the fires of rejection, one becomes harder than the razor-sharp sword of victory, and hence, invincible.
The Ultimate Alpha Samurai Sword.
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I think what Roissy is suggesting this time is …. a little bit bullshit.
This scattergun method is no more effective in getting actual results than most other methods.
It also has the downside of sucking the energy out of a guy ; making them a bit weird and turning them into a sort of parrot that goes into autopilot each time he sees a woman.
Think of beggars on the street that ask for spare change so often that their ass could be on fire , but each time they see another person the words that come out of their mouth is “got any spare change?”
Making the first effort is great , but you have to be able to back it up and follow it up with more.
Further still , you have to be able to get the girl out on a “date” and follow through with the seduction process …. unless the whole thing is being used as a step by step learning experience (which is fine if that’s what you want)
I’ve seen too many guys that have been able to make the approach and then even arrange a meet with a woman , only to fuck it up and not hear from her again because the rest of their game is fucked …. and they keep doing the same thing over and over , not stopping to figure out WHY they are fucking it up.
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Bucket
This is a media created urban legend. It’s’ not clear at all. What is clear is that people with strong meaningful social ties are happier and healthier in the long run.
It doesn’t have to be your flavor.
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Sarah: I’m totally yeah yeah yeah about the YYY’s, but real men don’t like female vocalists, end of story.
Sure, real men just hate, hate, hate female vocalists:
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Nice post, very upbeat & almost Pookian in its can-do attitude, a real breath of Spring.
Giving the ugly girls a hello too might help by bringing out the competitive instinct in the pretty girls.
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“Dude… did you seriously just tell a girl that you only say hi to girls?”
What? No. I was discussing this post with a woman.
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The problem — for some of us — with this “always be opening” approach is the pain from causing pain.
For any average-ish guy, ie not obviously handsome or suave, initiating verbal contact out of the blue in public with 30 pretty girls is going to result in at least 20 responses of curdled scowl and look away, very much a “don’t look at me you’re hurting me just go away” message. You know exactly what I mean; I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it, most men have seen it.
In order to take any advantage of these “opportunities everywhere,” a man can’t be slowed down by the fact, or evidence, that he’s causing some pain to all these women, that most of them really would have preferred that the average-looking guy not even try to talk to them. This level of indifference does not come easily to many people, and I’m not sure that I would call it an achievement to have it.
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very much a “don’t look at me you’re hurting me just go away” message.
Some years back in my late twenties I took a series of cross-country flights on Southwest, the airline that famoulsy doesn’t assign seats. Lady Luck smiled at me on that trip, finding me an empty seat next to a very cute girl on each leg of the flight. I opened each girl.
Girl one: very receptive, long fun convo for a four hour flight. I didn’t number-close because she was too young (teen) traveling with her parents. Girl two on the next flight: gave me that “F.-off” look so no conversation with her. Girl three: receptive to my opening, fun covo, number-close.
The moral of the story is that with “always be opening” you’re accepting a failure rate, while practicing the right opening. Our Host’s examples above all show fun/teasing openings. And simple ones like “Hi!”
You’ll notice that no openings do what Mystery calls “forcing rapport,” or rushing the comfort stage before attraction is established.
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“In order to take any advantage of these “opportunities everywhere,” a man can’t be slowed down by the fact, or evidence, that he’s causing some pain to all these women, that most of them really would have preferred that the average-looking guy not even try to talk to them.”
I wouldn’t call what you are describing “pain” – I’d call it narcissism and solipsism. I’m very introverted so I’m not always up for spontaneous chatter, but people who get offended because other people say hello or try to talk to them are sourpusses. I believe myself to be a bigger man for at least giving them an opportunity to be social. If they don’t want to take it, they can proceed with life with the stick up their butt.
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PA — I may not be getting the point across here. I’m not thinking about about anything as practical or self-interested as closes or failure rates. I’m talking about the pain that I (used to) feel whenever I get the “F.-off” look: not because rejection was unpleasant or disappointing per se, but because I’m a good boy and I didn’t like the feeling that I had hurt someone else, done something so unwelcome as to make them flinch in pain. Even with simple or fun/teasing openings, this is the simple truth of the world: if you’re only average-looking then most pretty girls would really rather you didn’t, and are pained if you do.
Referring to your airplane story, how did you feel when girl two gave you the “F.-off” look? Were you embarrassed? Guilty? Regretful? taking blame on yourself. Or, did you write her off as just a tasteless bitch? putting blame back on her? Or was it just one of those things, no harm no foul, no reason to consider blame in either direction?
Successful flirting requires the ability to shake off rejection, and to be indifferent to causing pained reactions in others. I’m not sure that I admire, or aspire to, these abilities.
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how did you feel when girl two gave you the “F.-off” look?
I kind of understood her. I normally get annoyed when random dudes try to start conversations with me but I try to be polite about showing my disinterest in chatting. Of course, those dudes have no ulterior motives — they were not imagining themselves doing things with me that would make Marquis deSade blush, as I was with that airplane girl.
So I don’t take the “F.off” look personally. Most girls will have the courtesy of signaling disinterest clearly and, most importantly, discreetly.
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this is manic and nuts. I used to do the “centenium” and hit on 100 women.
you need to be a tad more specific to find women with more in common than crossing paths with you.
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Esau:
“Successful flirting requires the ability to shake off rejection, and to be indifferent to causing pained reactions in others. I’m not sure that I admire, or aspire to, these abilities.”
Dude, I hope you never have to get a job in sales, or do anything else for a living that requires sacking up and dealing with repeated rejection before getting the desired result. The whole world spins the way it does because of human persistence, the ability to keep trying to do your own thing regardless of others’ reactions and regardless of the roadblocks you face. If people “respected” other people’s “space” by not saying anything that may possibly offend them, society would go nowhere.
I hope that you are able to realize that you were brainwashed to be a very nice boy (like many others) but that it’s not necessarily the right way to think. By focusing on others’ feelings all the time, you open yourself to being an AFC doormat in all aspects of life.
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Also, the Pound poems are so beautiful.
Thank you, Ol’Ez and Anonymous.
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Xsplat–
True.
As well the direction of causation is reversed. It has been the case that the socially acceptable and even necessary thing for men of a certain age and success level to do to keep moving forward was to get married. The more successful and men w/ strong social abilities did get married cause it was expected and in many cases required. (Though not after a divorce.)
Instead it was bottom end men, and fringes of society types that didn’t get married in large numbers. Exceptions but that quote is about feminist mined statistics going back decades.
That’s changing now. It’s definitely changed in lots of Europe.
I really expect that if Britain doesn’t start upholding prenups, upper class in wealth men there are gonna stop getting married in large percentages. Lots of rumbling in the City for example. It was only 2000 that it was decided that Britain would follow America’s example on giving a wife half of even a rich man’s wealth increased during marriage — but not it’s example of honoring prenups except in child support and custody.
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some may want to get “Camp Out” (RAC Remix) by the Aussie band An Horse off of a music site. It will rot your teeth but it’s addictive and a decent little song. They are influenced by the YYY’s. Female singer, completely androgynous though.
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Esau,
Don’t be such a wuss. Those girls are not really feeling pain even when they give you a dirty look. They may feel disdain or contempt for you, but YOU DID NOT HURT THEM. Anyone who would actually be hurt by someone saying “Hi” to them is emotionally disturbed already. The attitude “how dare the common people look at me/talk to me” is disgusting and you don’t owe such a person any consideration.
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@jay
If you were a really attractive women who gets approached by a lot of chumps, most of them likely saying “Hi” usually followed by “I’m XYZ, what’s your name?” would you go for another one of the typical AFC’s or would you go for the guy that has something interesting to say and doesn’t really seem like he already wants to sleep with you. That’s the power of game. Don’t get me wrong though, “Hi” is a kick ass opener if you don’t just walk right up to them and you follow it up with something interesting.
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Esau
I really don’t think any woman is seriously troubled by a guy she doesn’t know saying “hi” to her in a public place in broad daylight with other people round provided that there is nothing in his demeanour which would indicate that he is planning to immediately stalk, rape & kill her, it doesn’t really sound like your demeanour would give rise to such an assumption
By the way the fact that a woman may not react to such a greeting, or even look a bit cross, does not mean it has not cheered her up. Balzac said it best:
“She could see the Baron riveted to the spot in admiration, consumed by curiosity and desire. This is to every….woman a sort of flower which she smells at with delight, if she meets it on her way. Nay, certain women, though faithful to their duties, pretty, and virtuous, come home much put out if they have failed to cull such a posy in the course of their walk.”
I’m not saying you should assume that every woman you greets who does not react has fallen madly in love with you or is dying to go out with you, simply that they may not be as distressed by your greeting as you may think and may even be mildly chuffed.
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Aside from the hilarious implicit assumption that you would see that many cute girls in one day in DC, great post.
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The only real pickup artist I’ve ever hung out with told me that he probably scored with only about one in thirty of the girls he came on to — but, as he said, “If you approach 30 different girls a day, that’s one new conquest every 24 hours.”
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@ Esau
And yet you’re fine with causing us immeasurably greater pain, with posts such as this one.
Good grief, man.
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“Successful flirting requires the ability to shake off rejection, and to be indifferent to causing pained reactions in others. I’m not sure that I admire, or aspire to, these abilities.”
Flirting hurts people? Please explain what the hell you are talking about?
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[So I don’t take the “F.off” look personally. Most girls will have the courtesy of signaling disinterest clearly and, most importantly, discreetly.]
@PA So, when you were single, you never said “What’s your problem”? 😉
It is personal of course.
I did that (with more polite wording) in Cabo San Lucas when I was in my late 20s and the girl, an American, instantly apologized for being rude and we went on a date.
One can call it Last Resort Game or Emergency Game, most appropriate in a loud disco, but it has pulled victory from the jaws of defeat on more than one occasion for me. It wouldn’t be appropriate for someone sitting next to you on a plane however. For that, one might Google the book she is preferring to read and tell her the ending. 😉
Sometimes the best looking women, especially in feminist America or Britain, will have that look initially, but that is often only because they have their defenses up and don’t expect much from local men (they especially don’t expect an alpha to come along and teach them manners).
In Eastern Europe, if a woman does not know I am American, that look can be common enough in public but will change instantly when I open her…unless she’s been fed bad karma about foreigners. In the latter case, I will ask her what she’s heard about foreigners and assure her I’m a lot more like a local. 😉
Outside of the English speaking world, a great opener for sour-faced women is to look like you are typing an SMS and ask the woman for the local translation of some fun English word. It works like a charm and conveys that you are smart enough to assimilate in her culture. Finnish and Swedish women are absolutely astounded if a man seems to need to know the spelling of one of their words.
The array of possible openings for a sourpuss is greatly reduced in the anglo world where a man of high status is expected to already speak English perfectly.
Regarding Airline Game, I’ve several times brazenly take the seat next to a cutie hoping it wasn’t already assigned.
On half the occasions it wasn’t and I made a friend.
I learned to do this when I was in the Army: On European trains I have often asked “is this seat taken” and sat next to an attractive woman despite there being plenty of extra seats to spread out on. I’ve never been told “Can’t you take one of the many available seats like there and there”.
Not even once when the entire train car was empty and I asked “is this seat taken” before being allowed to squeeze in next to a woman. I needed to let ice run in my veins to able to do that with a straight face as if it were natural.
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Jerry Ertans said:
Sometimes the best looking women, especially in feminist America or Britain, will have that look initially
Australian women are by far the worst, IME. The look of disgust they give creates a sort of 100ft bitch force-field around them.
Having said that, once you get through it, you discover they are desperate for cock and are easy lays. This might have something to do with the fact that most Australian men seem to be gay and prefer shaking their bottoms at each other at the Sydney Mardi Gras, rather than talking to a hot chick.
In Eastern Europe, if a woman does not know I am American, that look can be common enough in public but will change instantly when I open her
‘Eastern Europe’ is a big place with lots of diverse cultures. It’s almost impossible to make eye-contact with Russian women at all. Czech women on the other hand will readily make eye-contact and smile, only to immediately try to qualify you with some withering remark or huge shit test.
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Once I took the airline seat next to a woman and used the five minutes before the actual assigned passenger arrived to become friends. During the flight we would wave to each other from where my actual assigned seat was and we were “happily reunited” as everyone got off the plane and did baggage claim together and taxi.
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I’m suspicious roissy truly wrote this article.
[editor: are you suggesting there are multiple authors of this blog? perish the thought!]
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you coy tease you
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Sdaedalus —
First, extra points for “chuffed;” do you read word-a-day calendars, or do you write them?
Now, regarding
“simply that they may not be as distressed by your greeting as you may think and may even be mildly chuffed.”
As we say in quantum mechanics, an occurrence that cannot be measured, and which can have no discernible effect on the world, effectively does not exist (and it is ill-defined even to speculate on it). So this leaves me none the wiser, really: if the woman won’t tell the truth about how she feels, then she effectively doesn’t have feelings.
More generally, the host’s original question still stands: why don’t more men take advantage (as he describes it) of the opportunities all around them? This is, in fact, a serious question; why? What are they/we all afraid of? I may be a wuss, but at least I’ve put forward one possible explanation for not having chatted up more pretty girls, which is that I find it distasteful to be treated as a proto-rapist (perhaps you prefer “masher”) just for having stepped out of the background while less than movie-star handsome. So, for all the other men who aren’t/haven’t chatted up thirty pretty girls a day, what’s your reason why not?
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@Esau
Both you and @PA are looking at things with a chivalric attitude despite the fact that both of you sometimes give lip-service to being against anti-male feminist ideology.
You both feel that what you perceive women need for happiness is more important than your own happiness.
You feel that it is natural and socially acceptable for women to be rude to men in public.
And you want to step aside and (with masochistic chivalry) say “Please continue to do this to me and other men my lady”.
In reality, it can be a big Shiite Test for a woman to diss men who approach her.
If you don’t have the game or confidence to assume a woman like her would like you if she got to know you, I wouldn’t blame you for giving up quickly which would do everyone a favor.
Read on however, if you feel that a woman could love you or lust for you if she got to know you.
While you have made it clear that you are likely to assume disinterest even when that hasn’t been proven, if a woman has clearly dissed you as a stranger, you don’t *have* to wish her well or wish her a day free of the stress of having to explain herself to you.
Feminists would vehemently disagree with me here but I would love to see feminists sent to reeducation camps.
First and foremost, a man shouldn’t be living in an environment where women of any age feel they can and should be unfriendly to middle aged men who say hello or approach them.
But if rudeness happens, and it will happen a lot in Moscow and Warsaw just like in New York and LA, one doesn’t have to be meek like a mouse about it, depending on circumstances.
Not doing anything about rudeness just reinforces her to be the same way to the next guy and the next, even if they are great looking Alphas she’d like to date.
This may just be a test you have to pass.
While in most cases it would be inappropriate to say “What’s your problem bitch,” there is nothing wrong with the idea of doubling back and asking a 9 or 10 something like “excuse me but I need some advice. I spend most of my time in such and such a region where people like you aren’t rude to me but you just blew me off like I wasn’t human…and I’m just wondering if that is because of the local culture or if I look like I didn’t shave or what”.
This is entirely legal to do and she will know that it is legal…although don’t ever do this in a dark unsafe place.
I have done this about 10 times in my life and nobody ever screamed for the police or ran away fearfully or even ignored me like I wasn’t there and kept walking.
Most of these 10 cases were when I had asked a woman directions and all she did was give me the directions and walked on (not necessarily a diss).
What this sort of Emergency Game does is
1) it shocks the woman into realizing that you are no Beta Wallflower
2) it may inform her that you were actually interested in her (your opener wouldn’t have necessarily conveyed this)
3) it causes the woman to wonder why you are so self-confident as to be surprised she dissed you
Again, this is entirely legal to do. There are no repercussions for this unless you do it within a group with membership that mingles or a feminist-friendly establishment in an ultra-feminist city.
In the rare cases I have done this I have received the following responses:
1) An apology for the misunderstanding and a date. If there had been no misunderstanding, the Alpha cred of having protested the diss caused the woman to reevaluate and approve.
2) An explanation that she is married or has a boyfriend and wasn’t really paying attention – often with an apology. A date or two happened this way as well.
3) A blatant “You should dress better” (if I was wearing jeans in a financial district) or “I don’t date foreigners. I am proud of my country and want to date one of my own” or some other bizarre but honest explanation.
In the cases of 1 and 2 above, the women definitely came out feeling better than if I had not asked (wouldn’t you love it if you were married and women kept asking you why you weren’t interested in them)?
In case of 3 above, sure it is unpleasant to be put on the spot about a bias you may have, but it might be paradoxically great fun to the rejector as well:
For instance, wouldn’t it be great fun if a fat tub of lard came up to you and said “why did you just show no interest in me”.
More relevantly, if a fat woman asked you for directions and you were rude and curt in your response, she would have every right to say “Listen young man, your rude response to me was probably because I’m overweight. But don’t be proud of yourself for being that way. What goes around comes around.”
American women might become a lot friendlier if more men chastised them for having been unnecessarily rude in public. Rude young women will be fat and over 30 soon enough. What goes around does come around.
‘
Don’t listen to the feminists on this issue. If you feel that a fat woman would have had the right to chew you out for exhibiting the same behavior that a great looking woman just showed you, you do have the right to protest in the same manner.
And then go someplace where the hot women are, on average, friendlier.
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Here is why it is best for at least the alphas in a society to check inappropriately rude behavior of young women so as to improve things for the men who come after:
I was on a date with a 26 year old recent MBA grad at a swank bar in Manhattan (we had met online).
I asked her if she’d had a pleasant experience with previous men she’d met online.
Her eyes lit up with fire.
She then told a story of how she’d called an otherwise really decent guy just before a well-planned second date (the man had bought tickets to an event at Lincoln Center) to cancel the date saying “This isn’t going anywhere, there is no reason to go out again. Bye”.
She wanted to tell me that it was *he* who was wrong because he then got upset with her and made her listen to an unpleasant lecture for what she had done and he called her a bitch.
My eyebrows went up and I said “He didn’t need to call you names but are you saying that you blame him for getting angry about the last second ditching”?
She looked at me like I was from Outer Space.
I wanted to give her plenty of room to say “Yes, I know it was selfish of me not to go to Lincoln Center to see that event with him instead of canceling at the last second”. I wanted to see her show some evidence that she had considered the feelings of the man she rejected.
But there was no such evidence to be found.
I said “It also won’t be going anywhere between you and me if you don’t recognize that I’m thinking right now that you could be capable of doing the same thing to me for no reason and not even feel it is a little wrong to call a person at the last second and say out of the blue that you never want to see them again”.
She couldn’t believe a man was counteracting her firm feminist belief that men are supposed to just sit back and take BS when it is a woman’s whim to dish it out (or talk to a man about having dished it out to another man).
I took her outside and hailed a taxi for her. Then I went back to finish my meal (I was a regular).
One can say that she still did not learn her lesson.
But there is a good chance she learned that it is possible for men to reject her for having been rude to other men.
But more important is this: Because the other man had gotten upset and made a scene…it had deeply affected her enough to discuss it with me when I asked about her online dating experience.
I was able to learn where her mind was at as a result…and save myself from getting involved and having something like that happen to me.
Always ask a woman about past experiences with men and how she handled things.
I have that first man to thank for NOT being a Beta wallflower and telling her that her behavior was socially unacceptable. He raised the red flag over her head that she shouldn’t have been proud to present.
If she had just told me that she simply rejected a man and he hadn’t protested, I might not have second guessed her or learned the damning details.
I may then have figuratively walked in front of a Mack Truck.
When the next man asked her what her online dating experience was, she would be very hesitant to say “One guy got upset that I called at the last second to tell him I never want to see him again and the next guy I met told me that he agreed with the first guy for getting upset! Weren’t those two men terrible?”
If anything at all, she would have learned that there is such a thing as male solidarity.
A man isn’t doing anyone any favors by meekly accepting anti-social behavior in women. Think about the men who will come after you.
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Wow most of the people commenting are such chodes.
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Boy I love his attitude, but either america is full of attractive girls or he has pretty low standards 😉
Heh, living in Sweden is pretty good in that regard 🙂
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Esau, I think most working men are lucky if they encounter five girls they’d consider truly pretty and available in a day. Most are passable or average, old, obviously taken, out of their socioeconomic league, or some other flavor of not interesting or interested.
This is why there are clubs, pubs, and for some, church. When I used to go to church with my parents though, I noticed that people in the singles groups didn’t usually get with each other. I thought this was kind of odd until I was old enough and actually started going to some of the meetings…but that’s another story for another day.
Anyway, though opportunities may abound, suitable women are a bit scarce. If you cancel out the ones who dress like streetwalkers, look high maintenance, are hostile or rude, and are below your attractiveness standards whatever they may be, there aren’t so many left to choose from.
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do you read word-a-day calendars, or do you write them?
I appreciate the extra points (extra points for what though? Being annoying, probably.)
Regarding word-a-day calendars, never heard of them. Where I come from, we do not have your American passion for self-improvement. I like quote a day calendars though, also those calendars giving previous events which happened on the same date.
You have to remember that I am on the other side of the pond, and that I have spent some time in the UK. “Chuffed” is a very common Anglicism, used by the same type of guys who say “old chap”, “right sort” and “pretty filly.” I have a retentive memory, and these expressions tend to stick in my mind and come out at the most inopportune moments.
I suspect that the grandfathers of the type of men who say “chuffed” may indeed have used the term “masher” but SDaedalus is younger than you give her credit for. Despite appearances, she was not born in the century before last. Also, “masher” was a Victorian name for player, not proto-rapist, unless you are impliedly suggesting that all players are proto-rapists.
What exactly do you mean by a proto-rapist anyway? I’ve seen this term used in many different senses, all of them a bit iffy.
if the woman won’t tell the truth about how she feels, then she effectively doesn’t have feelings
Esau, you are being disingenuous here. Isn’t the whole point of your initial post that you are reluctant to say hello to a woman precisely because you think her feelings may be hurt? If a woman doesn’t have feelings, your argument for not saying hello to her (that she may be upset) fails.
why don’t more men take advantage (as he describes it) of the opportunities all around them? For all the other men who aren’t/haven’t chatted up thirty pretty girls a day, what’s your reason why not?
As you have directed it to men, I am probably barred from answering this question, but the temptation to say “laziness” is irresistible.
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[…] Renegade: Opportunity is Everywhere, Want A Happy Relationship? Make Sure Your Woman Never Rises Above […]
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[…] Chateau: Opportunity is Everywhere […]
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[…] – “Relationship Limbo“, “Opportunity is Everywhere“, “Want a Happy Relationship? Make Sure Your Woman Never Rises Above Your […]
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Is there any other pursuit where you can bat .200 or less and be considered an unqualified success?
NHL forward. A guy who scored on 20% of his shots, when the league save % hovers around 90, would be a godlike stud. But I digress.
I used to think that when a woman did anything but ignore my “hello” her response was personal. I now know that’s a self-deluding lie. My experience is that a woman talks to me because she’s merely being polite, or because she’s nice to everybody she talks to. Since she is not being nice to me, my attempts at further engagement are, naturally, doomed to fail. Indeed, it’s not clear that not talking to women is irrational, inasmuch as it takes less effort to get the same result.
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Bob Smith – unless you’re either famous or unusually good-looking (which, from the history of your interactions with women, I’m guessing you’re not), what you describe here is only what any man has to expect. 99% of your approaches will almost certainly bomb, but all that that means is that you’d better get out there and approach 100 pretty girls. And when you’ve got that 100th pretty girl in your bed, see if you can even remember any of the other 99.
The power of Roissy’s post is that, except for a handful of very fortunate men, it represents THE ONLY WAY that you will ever get what you want in your dealings with women.
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[…] Aujourd'hui, nous allons accompagner un Américain moyen, SWPL Six-Pack, sur son quotidien comme il fait un effort pour répondre à un certain nombre de jolies femmes qu'il voit. C'est un samedi. Il se lève le matin, des douches, des robes et des promenades à l'Starbucks en bas du bloc. En attendant à une intersection à la lumière pour le changement, [. . . ] URL article original: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/opportunity-is-everywhere/ […]
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@Rum
Nice! 😀
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Too bad I don’t see 38 attractive women in a month, let alone a day 😉
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