Reader J. writes:
R,
This post changed my life, “Relationship Game Week: A Reader’s Journey“. The biggest problem in my 8+ year marriage was constantly failing shit tests. Within hours of reading this, my life got waaaay better.
We’ve had the following “discussion” every month for the past four years.
Before [reading this blog]:
Her: How much did you drink last night?
Me: Eh, just a few. I didn’t drink that much.
Her: Bullshit. I could smell it on you when you came home. Even after you brushed your teeth.
Me: Seriously, I only had 2 or 3 drinks.
Her: What if you got pulled over? There’s no way you would have passed a breath-a-lyzer.
Me: I’m 37 years old. I know my limits. I’m sure I would have passed.
Her: What if you killed some one? What if you died? How would I explain that to our children. Blah, blah blah.
Us: [Fight]18 hours after discovering your blog:
Her: How much did you drink last night?
Me: Oh, I got hammered. [Buddy’s name] had to drive me home.
Her: *giggle* Shut up!
Me: *smirk* Yeah, go get dressed. You need to drive me to [next town over] to get my car.
Her: *smile* Yeah, right.I can’t believe this worked?!? [ed: believe it]
I’ve been reading your blog for all of a week, and I’ve seen numerous mentions of shit tests, “agree and amplify” and “beta baiting”. Is there a “Shit Test 101” column somewhere? If not, what is the original source material for this?
I don’t care what the nay-sayers say about “Game”. This is bigger than you or me getting laid. If betas adopt these techniques, millions of kids could be spared the agony of their parents’ divorce. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Seriously, man. Thanks.
J.
I’ll be honest. When I started this blog my intentions were less than noble. I had set out to amuse myself by performing sociological experiments with the utmost predator sadism on the degenerate mafia of haters, losers, delusional tards, liars, and sexual marketplace rejects who would be drawn to the bracing truths contained within the walls of this venerable Chateau like gimped moths to the flame. Wailing in anguish, they limped, shuffled, and weeble wobbled over, right on cue, and it was good.
Lies perished. But truths were heralded, too. Dropped like a Heysoosian savior into this cruel fragfest thunderdome, I gave my only begotten sex, love and romance knowledge to the world, gift-boxed in a lament configuration and tied with a bow of barbed wire. Who would be strong enough — clear-thinking enough — to clamber above their human foibles and the limitations imposed by their egos to grasp the knowledge that was there for the taking?
I never wanted anything from this project but the self-pleasure of the soulripper. I didn’t care if no one took the message to heart to improve their lives. That was never my purpose. But then a funny thing happened. The emails from grateful readers started rolling in; men, young an old, and women too, writing to tell me what a positive impact this outpost of wicked illumination has had on their lives. I receive emails like J.’s above on an almost daily basis now. This blog has, despite its dark-robed proprietors’ demonic efforts, healed relationships and saved marriages. Something that an army of Pee Aych Dee wielding credentialissimo therapists and counselors, with their PC playbook of half-baked bromides and knee-jerk misandry, struggle to claim. And that is the burn that singes the denialists and foam-flecked haters deepest. That a despised womanizer could so thoroughly humiliate their comfortable worldview, and do them one better.
“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
A moment of clarity will give you the answer to your question.
To put it simply: Dittos!
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But the guy is married.. she will get him sooner or later.
No contract is so grotesquely unfair, usurious and scary as marriage. It makes credit card companies and HMOs look like angels.
And what is the deal about paying more and more for less and less of rapidly aging pussy?
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Roissy,
Just out of curiosity.. what do you think of this.
http://dissention.wordpress.com/2010/06/06/the-saga-of-lisa-d/
I may not have said it before, but I do chase and get ‘unpaid’ women on the side (usually 5s and 6s). Escorts are like high quality restaurants, and I can afford them. However eating there all the time can get boring, and sometimes I feel like eating at fast-food places (‘unpaid’ sex with average gals).
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I believe it… We’re all thinking machines of the lowest order. Ones that believe they’re above the inert matter that surrounds them.
The sooner humanity sees itself for what it really is, the happier we’ll all be. Happy little chunks of meat.
(this post was an excuse for 2GET!)
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“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
Because its true?
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Here is how to handle a shit test
A surfer fought off a large shark and then reportedly rode a wave to safety in WA.
Michael Bedford was knocked off his board by the shark, believed to be a great white, which then came back for a second charge, witnesses were quoted as saying.
But he punched the animal and then caught a passing wave to the shore, where friends used the board’s rope as a tourniquet for bite wounds on his leg.
http://www.smh.com.au/national/surfer-punches-shark-then-catches-wave-20100607-xppr.html
Anyone looking at animals stalking their prey (or mating) in the wild will notice game style positioning, fading, shit test and negs all thru the interaction.
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Hey, if it’s stupid and it works, it ain’t stupid.
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He still fucked up by getting married in the first place.
Roissy, the time for novice and intermediate game, what you’ve been excellent at exquisitely elucidating for quite a while, should be nearing its end.
Start posting about where game can really take a man. Private sex parties with 5:1 girl:guy ratios, having girlfriends that go pick up other girls for the both of you, living situations with 2-3 women at a time (sure, these relationships only have an average shelf life of 3-6 months, but they’re damned fun while they last), and having women pursue you so that you never have to take another phone number ever again.
I know you’ve got it in you. You’ve just been holding back.
Bring on the good stuff, man.
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Roissy,
You’re a cold and icy bastard, you are. There’s no getting around it. I suspect your soul is as black as a chunk of coal painted black in a room with a broken lightbulb.
But – you hit on something that every dude who reads you or who learns Game knows. You hit on the truth.
If you weren’t as dark, the lies wouldn’t be shattered nearly as completely.
So there’s a place for evil, I guess.
Our women appreciate it much more. Yours probably love you for it.
And, besides, we’re all philandering bastards, so if we’re going to commit the crime, we might as well do it well.
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Well, the world itself is pretty damn horrible. By learning how to deal, we can change our position within it.
Now, I don’t aspire to be a PUA like Roissy. I only read this blog because it’s interesting from a human standpoint… Even at work, and with my male friends it has had value.
I want to be the one who is never taken advantage of, the one who people respect, who is allowed, because of his special-ness, to get away with things that lesser humans aren’t. Someone who can easily bargain fairly with unfair people.
We do horrible things to each other, we lash out at each other, to our own detriment, and we have no idea why. We live like dogs, never thinking about the future but how we can improve our own lot and fuck everyone else.
The day is fast coming, maybe is already here, where our instincts are going to kill us. Let our infrastructure collapse, and drive the artifacts of our civilization to the bottom of the water table. We have to take hold of them, tame them, and make them do our bidding. Things invariably end badly when we don’t.
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I gradually figured out how to game my wife and it improved our sex life a lot (from “every few months” back to most nights); then I discovered this blog, saw the full structure and logic of the subject and applied it, and have experienced massive further improvements in both quantity and quality.
The two most powerful lessons in my case: Inner Game (truly accepting that you are the prize) works really well (not only on my wife but in getting IOIs all over the place from other women), and the proper attitude toward your wife’s body is that it is your personal property, there for your enjoyment. (Instead of trying to figure out what she wants, be decisive enough about what you want and that will become what she wants — and if she wants something else she’ll tell you, you don’t have to ask her.)
Nice to see the tipjar — I had thought it would be cooler to just register your email address with PayPal and let word get around, but I guess you decided you might as well do it right and proper.
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Before blog: Got cheated on.
After blog: Sex with girls in relationships.
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@Stanovsky
Before blog: Got cheated on.
After blog: Sex with girls in relationships.
Says it all, dude. Says it all.
Can I elaborate?
Before Game (blog): Got cheated on.
After Game (blog): Sex with Hot girls in relationships.
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Let me paraphrase a phrase used by a Jewish GF I had a few years ago:
“Game: To Life!”
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1) Perhaps the woman was overreacting, but what makes that a shit test? By your warped logic, essentially anything a woman says or does that runs counter to a man’s wishes or interests is automatically a shit test. This is not only stupid, but impossible because it assumes that one entire half of the human species is never genuine in their emotions, or is only capable of having genuine emotions when it’s convenient for the man. Or really, a better way to say this would be: “A woman is capable of having or not having genuine, non shit-testy emotions IFF it serves some purpose of Roissy’s for her to have or not have them.”
2) Yeah, correlation doesn’t equal causation. Perhaps there’s *something* that you’ve tapped into, in human psychology, which has absolutely nothing to do with your views, though it appears that it does because whatever it is, is like “game” in its effects but fundamentally different in its cause.
In this example, you’re relating his success to an adoption of your views, when it just seems like basic psychology, i.e., having an understanding of another person’s reactions in a given scenario. There are lots of ways out there to deal with the reactions of people which would essentially produce this effect. I don’t think he “succeeded” on account of your views but in spite of them.
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Before reading this blog…no clue what a shit-test was…never knew the power of negs…
The neg is the male “shit test”…
After reading this blog….have banged 2 girls in the same weekend, number closed 3 others, and have raised my value with girls I already know.
One “neg” opener I use with girls I have seen around but approach for the first time:
“your hair looks better down…” or up….whatever…
I used this the other night on a flight attendent I knew and had spoken to a few times but hadn’t Gamed.
After that…it was full on…major IOI’s, email message from her etc etc….
As for shit tests… I think you’re allowed to fail a few…you just have to pass the majority.
They’re generally measured on a bell-curve system.
The more you pass, the better, but you can miss a few.
The question I have for the group is….when do you walk away? One girl is constantly giving them. If I’m not “on”…I may miss them. Then I have to recover by reframing. Gets a bit tiring frankly. Girls live for that shit.
Roissy…you’re an evil bastard….and I mean that in a good way….keep it up.
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The success of this blog is akin to that of South Park: It tells the exact (and harsh) truth about human nature in an entertaining way.
But it’s interesting, isn’t it, how such things are never HUGELY popular. Consider: Even the sort of men who need this blog the VERY most reject it after discovering it, with rare exceptions. But that is ordinary human nature.
Persisting on telling the whole truth behind Game is what will keep Roissy’s income here at a low level — simply because most people really and truly cannot bear to look straight at life, especially when a hand like Roissy’s reaches out from beyond the Matrix and rubs their faces in it. If he wanted to increase the cash flow, he’d have to shatter the perfect diamond commitment to telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth that has characterized this blog from its beginning.
By way of illustrating the contrast between a purely practical, commercially-minded, unphilosophical PUA and Roissy-Socrates [Chatocrates? I digress], consider the following extracts from the Forwards of two well-known PUA guides. The first was written before its author had any inkling that he would become famous and actually earn his living from teaching game (my emphasis):
When X wrote that, the idea of doing anything but simply relating the raw truth had not even occurred to him. Later, however, after he’d turned Game into his bread and butter, he changed his tune:
Notice what’s missing this time? (And can anyone solve the, erm, puzzle of the author’s identity?)
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… ein Teil von jener Kraft, die stets das Böse will und stets das Gute schafft.
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So much more fun than chump-baiting is blowhard-baiting. AFC’s know they are hopeless. PhD’s think they actually know something.
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thumbs up!
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roissy, you should make a suggestion scale for the tip jar
something like:
“If due to the chareau wisdom you’ve:
pulled digits: $10
gotten laid: $20
raised your pull value more then two points on the dicaprio scale: $50
helped you juggle two or more chicas: $100
extended a loving relationship with 7 or better: $10
saved your marriage: up to half your assets or at least one weekends go out budget
avoided marriage: priceless…. become a disciple”
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Of course second response is better than first. Shows naughtiness, honesty and being responsible (getting lift from buddy instead of driving home after drinking).
>Me: *smirk* Yeah, go get dressed. You need to drive me to [next town over] to get my car.<
IMHO, he could also have asked instead of told but if he used sweet little boy voice (which only works if done by a real guy as opposed to someone whining). Either way's good.
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He still fucked up by getting married in the first place.
there is a cult-like segment among commenters that is hard to miss. This obligatory disclaimer against marriage, absolutely unnecessary, is a sort of ritual prayer for many here. It sounds like Wkiskey, who will explain even the oil spill in the GoM through women’s hatred of betas
Start posting about where game can really take a man. Private sex parties with 5:1 girl:guy ratios, having girlfriends that go pick up other girls for the both of you, living situations with 2-3 women at a time
Yeah! And that’s because Roissy isn’t even that good… Wait until you are deflowering virgin Ukrainian twins monthly!
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Roissy,
Dr Helen has a post up about some bitch who made a video game where you shoot men.
http://drhelen.blogspot.com/
Apparently her rage is directed at the “smile for me!” PUAs:
“My favorite catcall in the ‘Hey Baby Game’? “Smile for me, baby.” It fills me with rage that a stranger on the street feels at liberty to demand that I smile. I smile when I feel like it, and I sure as shit don’t want to do it for you, buddy.”
Of course, the solipsism is behind this, no matter what a man does, American women are upset about it. If the guys didn’t hti on her, she’d be pissed about that instead.
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i couldn’t agree more. i was heading for a divorce and discovered this page about a month ago. i didn’t realize i was being shit tested and failing. now i’m having more sex with my wife than i’ve had in years. thanks…
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I tell all my married friends or about to be married friends about game. Most of the fools don’t believe me or are skeptical, but one or two of them is starting to get to a shitty place with their harpies. Then in desparation they will grab for the truths of this blog that I told them about all those years ago.
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Ok so this is the main evopsych source on the net and in the world, so I figured I’d ask here.
There is no chance of me passing on my genes. I wasn’t always a total loser. I mean in high school I was nominated for homecoming king, played football and had the freshman cheerleaders baking cookies for me and decorating my lockers.
And you should have seen me in JRHS. It was outta the Beatles. Crowds of popular hot girls literally chased me. Alright I think it was because I was a psycho freak-show and they just wanted to be part of the show. SO they were just teasing. But hey most of life is just self-delusion, and I was never happier.
Anyway back on topic. So I just wanted to know. Siblings share 50% genes. So I assume nieces/nephs would be 1/4 genes. So if I ensure my sibling has 4 kids, I’m in the clear right? Thats the same as 100% of my genes.
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“So if I ensure my sibling has 4 kids, I’m in the clear right? Thats the same as 100% of my genes.”
Not exactly. Genes need to augmented by other genes for genetic diversity, but with nieces and nephews your genes are being dominated by other genes in the mix. No one ever passes 100% of their genes, so your 4×25 = 100 computation is a false goal.
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I’d love to hear more about Beta-Roissy or Roissy before game….I know I know…it’s probably embarrassing, but I would like to hear more about how you got into this…..
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Another married guy here — same thing happened for me as well. Game has strengthened my marriage immeasurably, and the sex is way hotter now. Actually, I didn’t really even need to deploy any actual Game techniques. Just having my mind in the right place has been sufficient.
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I often passed tips from your blog to my formerly o m e g a friend “Mike.” (He’s not into reading blogs so I had to just tell him of stuff I read here). As a result he transformed, within a year, from an annoying almost-forty-year-old chubby techie-nerd to a weights-sculpted, well-dressing cool guy who now has a girlfriend and swooped two dancers.
His biggest problem now is that some left-behind betas rag on him for “having too much of an ego”
One example of how this blog helped him: a few weeks ago he started flagging on his alphahood with a new girlfriend so I told him about your 2/3 rule: do two nice things for a girl for every three she does for you. Because if you break the golden ratio, the girl will start feeling suffocated. He took it to heart and it worked.
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posting Awesome’s comment again for emphasis:
Roissy, the time for novice and intermediate game, what you’ve been excellent at exquisitely elucidating for quite a while, should be nearing its end.
Start posting about where game can really take a man. Private sex parties with 5:1 girl:guy ratios, having girlfriends that go pick up other girls for the both of you, living situations with 2-3 women at a time (sure, these relationships only have an average shelf life of 3-6 months, but they’re damned fun while they last), and having women pursue you so that you never have to take another phone number ever again.
I know you’ve got it in you. You’ve just been holding back.
Bring on the good stuff, man.
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ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts…
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“There is no chance of me passing on my genes. ”
When you know all life is delusion, it’s enough that you masturbated enough. Your genes are still flowing around in some drain.
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“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
The most important things I know about game, I learned from this site. My world view as it pertains to girls is in large part derived from Roissy and that view forms the foundation of my inner game.
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I’m married. My shit test game needs work. Sometimes I just come off surly.
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It’s all about how you carry yourself.
How you say and deliver something can be just as important as what you say. This goes for all aspects of being a man, not just game and/or passing shit tests.
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Reality and truth is only ugly to those who are ignorant and fail to evolve.
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“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
Answer:
“The truth shall set you free”
By definition the TRUTH is *always* good.
The TRUTH *can* be used for evil, but if it really is the TRUTH then it *will* result, ultimately, in “GOOD”.
You cannot escape your destiny, Roissy… haven’t you seen Star Wars, or the Matrix? The evil side of the story is always part of the solution 🙂
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“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
The haters might grudgingly concede that you are doing good things for men. What they don’t understand is that what’s good for men is good for everyone, similar to how a strong structrural system is good for the entire builidng.
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roissy, you are a Magnificent Bastard, a dark hearted Nostradamus
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I have found that the key to marriage is DHV – passing her tests is one way, there are many others.
It doesn’t matter if you are a CEO or a garbage man: your wife either looks up to you or looks down on you.
You know which one generates the tingles.
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ya roissy jesus wrote “the truth will set you free” lzozlzlzlzl
sp by serving people with the truth you are setting them free
because you speak truth you are an artists lzozlzlzlz
truth truth truth sets teh noble souls free while fiat lies lies lies tie it down and imprision it.
also speaking of marriage, here’s the bill of men’s rights
lzozllzllzl every man shall have the right to
1) a womenz who hasth been butthexed less than 4 times
2) said 4 times not being done in the same night nor two consecutive nights niether lzozlzl
3) said butthexing events not being secretly taped without her conthent
4) no woman shall have a right to her husbands assetts if he comes home and finds her banging the poolboy ontop of his ps3 controller, thusly damaging said controller lzozl that would suck
5) wehnu ask a women how many poeple she has been with it wil be law that she will have to verbally multiply her anser by 10, and then add at least half the ass cocking sesssions which still count as sexth in certain religions lzozlzlzl
6) no man shall be made to fund a pussy that it out banging biker drummer cock, nor shall any man be made to pay for past use of a pussy lzozlzlzlz
i think that if we can pass this men’;s bill of rights into law, 90% of marriages will last lzozl.zlzlzlzlzl lzozllz which is why the butthex congreth and fiat masters will rail against my sublime logic reason phsilophy and religion lzozlzlzzlhere
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If it wasn’t for the subsequent post requesting financial donations, I would be worried this post was an epitaph. Your writing is really exceptional and a suprisingly high percentage of what you say is true, sometimes there might be a slight angle you are missing but if your posts to date covered all the angles there would be nothing left to say. It is really helpful to find someone being relatively honest about these things. Your commenters are also very interesting.
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You’re only thinking of calling it quits because you’re thinking of getting married.
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It’s the pretty lies. The writing only seems horrible because the miseducation about men and women, and what they want and need, and how they really think and behave, is so deep, pervasive, and, well, pretty. Most educated people would *prefer* a world in which our basest evo-sexual instincts didn’t control our actions to such an enormous degree, in which we actually were all equal in the game of life despite millions of years of programming to the contrary. (Actually, it also seems to be horrible because of Roissy’s glorious mean streak. That’s what makes it entertaining, though – and gives the strength to demolish the Matrix.)
The pretty lies ultimately make us all — men and women both — miserable. The harsh truths about human nature are the bracing cure, the first step toward an understanding of what has been lost, along with the gains, over the past 45 (or 65, or 90) years. And also are a guidepost for what to do about it.
Bravo.
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@Gorbachev,
Roissy is dark. And darkness is what ‘we’ as men need. It’s what Betas lack.
You see, as the Beastie boys sang, darkness is not the opposite of light, it’s the absence of light. Darkness is not evil. We need darkness to live, literally. Humans will die without sleep, and our bodies are hardwired to sleep best in darkness.
We all have a ‘shadow,’ metaphorically speaking. Most modern men have been taught by the establishment to ignore their shadow. Betas and omegas try to suppress the shadow. But the shadow and all its attendant emotions are what makes life possible on this planet–lust, anger, etc. These ‘negative’ emotions are finely tuned evolutionary adaptations that allow us to thrive on this planet, and we as men need unfettered access to our shadow, so that we may control it.
Men who fail to control their shadow end up committing atrocities–abusive priests, etc. The shadow drives us, it is a powerful evolutionary engine, and must be used to its advantage or else it becomes a liability.
Roissy has opened up our hearts and minds, with devilish humor and excellent writing, on how to wield the shadow like a samurai deftly parry with the katana.
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This blog is like a brothel.
In old mediterranean times, men would gather at these places for listening to good music, getting into fights and to talk things like these. Older men instructed the younger about life and such. Getting laid was not for everytime. All that made a healthy manhood in those countries. That’s why latinos are machos.
Also, prostitution spared well bred ladies from deflouration.
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“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
I don’t agree with that “horrible” part. Pretty lies are harmless as long as there is a reasonable chance that they will never be uncovered.
Take one of the prettiest lies of all, the “Sex and the city pretty lie”, that woman can continue in the dating market well past 30.
Is it that horrible to say “no, they don’t”? Given current life expectation and how a girl must live much more than half of her life after she left the dating market for good, I’d say the alternative is much moe horrible
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@Mopenhauer,
Anyway back on topic. So I just wanted to know. Siblings share 50% genes. So I assume nieces/nephs would be 1/4 genes. So if I ensure my sibling has 4 kids, I’m in the clear right? Thats the same as 100% of my genes.
That’s siblings at 0-50% of your genes (it’s a range, rarely 50%). And therefore nieces nephews at 0-25% of your genes.
Actually, if you have 4, then you could potentially have 0-100% odds of gene transmission. For sure, this is lower than 100%.
Anyway, your genes are shared by everyone in your gene pool. It’s unlikely you have anything truly unique, beyond your personal combination of these widely-available genes.
Which means: you’re just a random sorting of a stirred genetic pot. Don’t sweat it too much.
If if you had your own kids, they’d only get 50% of your genes. It’s entirely possible that a person roughly related to you might have more than this from random mating and sorting.
You’re a product of your gene pool, dude.
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After two decades the topics on this blog will be: Hey Roissy, thanks to this blog I raised a good daughter!
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Gorb,
Your math is wrong. In the long run Mope’s original rough estimate is correct, and “uncle helping out with the raising of his nieces/nephews” is actually a valid evolutionary strategy, though most uncles will, if the parents were already competent, not make enough of a difference to fully compensate for forgoing their own direct reproduction.
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gig,
Good comments.
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@Polymath
Gorb,
Your math is wrong. In the long run Mope’s original rough estimate is correct, and “uncle helping out with the raising of his nieces/nephews” is actually a valid evolutionary strategy, though most uncles will, if the parents were already competent, not make enough of a difference to fully compensate for forgoing their own direct reproduction.
Just that, sure, he can pass on his particular brand of gene mix; but it’s never 25%, it’s always a range of 0-25%. And he has to hit 25% 4 times in order to get 100%. And then there’s duplication: he could pass on triplicates of one set of genes, and none of 3 others.
So better to do this: Look around you at near and close relatives. Almost all of your genes are in there somewhere. it’s unlikely you’ve got a useful mutation.
You’re just an instance of a particular set of these free-flowing genes in the gene pool.
None of your genes are particularly special.
We’re just products of our gene pool.
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@ASPIRANTWell, the world itself is pretty damn horrible. By learning how to deal, we can change our position within it.
Now, I don’t aspire to be a PUA like Roissy. I only read this blog because it’s interesting from a human standpoint… Even at work, and with my male friends it has had value.
Game is great for that. It can up your social status with other males, too – but be careful. Other males will react differently. If you think about it, this makes sense; for them, you’re not a target of interest, but a rival.
Some react very badly to men with good game, who are charismatic with women, and who seem to be able to relate to women better than they can. And the reaction might be quite severe.
I remember a social function I was at; I was chatting up several cute women, of course nonchalant, and this ornery shit (who was entirely unable to talk to any of the women there) kept coming up to me, and trying to jump into groups, and just had it in for me: insults, casual banter directed against me, dismissive laughter. He made a bad impression on the ladies (this always goes down poorly), and really screwed up my game. He eventually wandered off, and was being just as ornery to other guys who were talking to women.
One of the women I eventually (two months later) had a STR with; I once asked her about this guy, and she said he’d seemed like a jerk.
Theory: Be charming to everyone.
How I dealt with him: Be self-deprecating in a casual, humorous way. Roll with it. You look like The Man, rolling with the punches and letting the water fall off of you.
Never confront directly: That’s for Betas. This guy was not worthy of a direct challenge.
I want to be the one who is never taken advantage of, the one who people respect, who is allowed, because of his special-ness, to get away with things that lesser humans aren’t. Someone who can easily bargain fairly with unfair people.
Game is for that, too. Especially inner game.
When you meet someone, they do an assessment: What can they get away with. Use game properly, and you can prejudice their assessment or make them perform it again in your favour.
The day is fast coming, maybe is already here, where our instincts are going to kill us. Let our infrastructure collapse, and drive the artifacts of our civilization to the bottom of the water table. We have to take hold of them, tame them, and make them do our bidding. Things invariably end badly when we don’t.
Conservatives and liberals try to deny our darker natures. Conservatives white-knight women, largely because this suits the mens’ simplistic worldviews and men are the actors (and hence don’t understand women, so don’t account for them. Women play along.). Liberals utopianize: if only we weren’t greedy or didn’t cheat, Communism would be great.
Well, … yeah. About communism: Great system, wrong species.
And every other aspect of this: Feminism, too. It would be nice.
But wishing doesn’t make it so.
It’s actually *dangerous* to proceed as if we aren’t the way we are. Look at how feminism is just butchering the family, and this wasn’t even its real goal.
Better to know what we are actually like and play to that.
Then it’s better for all of us.
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@Mephistopheles
“… ein Teil von jener Kraft, die stets das Böse will und stets das Gute schafft.”
Ich (Mann) konnte es nicht besser sagen.
Aber, was wuerden wir tun, leben und lieben in einen Welt ohne Roissy?
Roissy ist der Spiegel unseres Lebens.
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My wife would sometimes insinuate I was having an affair (she’s more observant than I sometimes give her credit for.) When she’d ask, “What’s her name?”, I’d tell her “Eliza. She sucks cock like a motherfucker. You have nicer tits, though.” It gets a laugh out of her.
She’s still not sure whether I’m cheating or not, but that satisfies her and “Eliza” has made for a great running joke between us. Plus, as I think our host would agree, I think it turns her on a little.
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We are yet to see the reincarnation of Ghengis khan. Ancestors won’t bring you back from the dead. They won’t even be recognisable as your kin within a couple of generations.
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You would probably want the konjunktiv there Gorby.
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Also Gorby, die Welt (f). I’m starting to wonder if your self stated language abilities, are well, self stated. -.-
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G,
No, nephews will share between 0 and 50%, not between 0 and 25%. Your brother could have between 0% and 100% of your genes, mean 50%, standard deviation is probably 5-10% because genes are inherited from a parent in chunks that are large fractions of a chromosome. His kids will have half that, or 0%-50% of your genes, mean 25%, SD a few %.
Because genes tend to stick together, kin are recognizable across many generations due to combinations of traits that are nearby on the DNA map (e.g. hair/skin, or shape of various facial features, or overall skeletal frame).
Blond hair and blue eyes will eventually be uncorrelated but because they are close on the same chromosome, almost all natural blondes are still blue-eyed even after hundreds of generations.
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@Paul
You would probably want the konjunktiv there Gorby.
Doch.
Also Gorby, die Welt (f). I’m starting to wonder if your self stated language abilities, are well, self stated. -.-
der die das, M, F, N – dammit, it’s hard to keep it all separate, French German Spanish Danish – damned European languages.
Le monde, el mundo, verden.
In Old English, World was feminine, too, but treated as a masculine in some dialects. These arbitrary noun classes are all so annoying.
Korean was so damned much easier, really, you just have to deal with the multiple, complex interlacing levels of politeness and twisted morphology.
And kudos for Chinese – love that morphology, gotta adore the grammar, isolating like English and oh so simple; just need to account for tone. And the lack of a widely used alphabet.
And sometimes you get to wait whole minutes for the verb in subordinate clauses in German. It’s like a kind of tease.
Much like German women.
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“proprietors’?” is that a grammatical error or are you telling us that this blog is written by multiple contributors?
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Hey Gorbachev,
I take it Saturday night went well?
I figured it would. Rock on!
btw, I responded to your game comments to me at the end of the What Did I Do Wrong thread.
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@Polymath
You’re right.
My brother could be my clone. Logical error there.
This is also true; overall, gene combinations will tend to stick together. But the actual genes are shared throughout the gene pool. The little sticky combinations may vary, but not much over, say, 3-4 generations through a normally mixed gene pool where there’s random mate sorting.
Still, the little 1-2 % push-pull of genetic selection is significant over time.
So you’re right.
No, nephews will share between 0 and 50%, not between 0 and 25%. Your brother could have between 0% and 100% of your genes, mean 50%, standard deviation is probably 5-10% because genes are inherited from a parent in chunks that are large fractions of a chromosome. His kids will have half that, or 0%-50% of your genes, mean 25%, SD a few %.
Because genes tend to stick together, kin are recognizable across many generations due to combinations of traits that are nearby on the DNA map (e.g. hair/skin, or shape of various facial features, or overall skeletal frame).
Blond hair and blue eyes will eventually be uncorrelated but because they are close on the same chromosome, almost all natural blondes are still blue-eyed even after hundreds of generations.
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Hey, R and C may have cold water running thru their viens but they are hawt on the truth in the matters between men and women who accept reality!
Rock on…
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i don’t get the story. the guy’s wife was giving him shit about driving drunk and then he says he got someone to drive him home. sounds like she won the battle.
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This blog is extremely entertaining. True? Maybe. It taps into one aspect of sex relations, but I’d like to think that relations between the sexes or any kind of relationship isn’t as one dementional as sex drive. I honestly believe most of these tips and tricks are designed solely to amp up a woman’s sex drive, which is great, can definitely turn into something deeper, but there are other ingredients missing from the recipes.
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“How could anyone who writes such horrible things be a force for good in the world?”
Nietzsche: “Is the pure and sunlike gaze of the sage out of lust?”
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“Ein Teil von jener Kraft, Die stets das Böse will und stets das Gute schafft.”
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@vasafaxa
This blog is extremely entertaining. True? Maybe. It taps into one aspect of sex relations, but I’d like to think that relations between the sexes or any kind of relationship isn’t as one dementional as sex drive. I honestly believe most of these tips and tricks are designed solely to amp up a woman’s sex drive, which is great, can definitely turn into something deeper, but there are other ingredients missing from the recipes.
Of course. But maintaining a sexual relationship is key to relating to a mate. It’s actually the single most important thing; we think it’s not, but if you look at each element, this one repeatedly comes up as the keystone. I guarantee it.
But you do need more.
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Nah, he gave the bad ass reply: “I don’t care what you think”…responding in alphaness gets the smile and he gave her an order to get dressed to get the car…
Well, done, he will get better w/ time. (in marriage, you can only hope, and “get better at whatever”…)
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“Ah,” the Lord said, “you do not get the point. There is a Remnant there that you know nothing about. They are obscure, unorganized, inarticulate, each one rubbing along as best he can. They need to be encouraged and braced up because when everything has gone completely to the dogs, they are the ones who will come back and build up a new society; and meanwhile, your preaching will reassure them and keep them hanging on. Your job is to take care of the Remnant, so be off now and set about it.”
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I know I get shit for it, but I read Roissy because I want to develop into a patriarchal style alpha at some point. I’m personally religious and so is my wife, so the whole business of just finding as many women to fuck as possible or cheating or whatever is irrelevant to me. At least R is up front that he has no moral compass. I do, so I just ignore those posts except for the humor.
But the LTR stuff is great, as is Athol Kay’s blog. I just happen to think R does a lot more than AK on broader sociological issues and, well, he’s a lot funnier. So yeah, give me shit for “fucking up by getting married,” I couldn’t care less.
I have to concede that I’ve learned quite a bit from this blog and it’s definitely helping my relationship. Heck, I even TOLD MY WIFE ABOUT THIS SITE and it is still effective. Granted, my wife isn’t a SWPL chick or shallow or any of that. She’s awesome, but she’s still a woman and so gives off those unconscious and sometimes even totally conscious shit tests. Learning how to deal with them is like finding gold when you were panning the retention pond behind your house. Unbelievable and awesome.
It seems so counterintuitive for a guy like me who prides himself on his physical strength but shyness with women. I look back on when my wife and I dated and I realized that while she loves me for my character, she fell for me because I acted like, well, a MAN for one of the few times in my dating life. I was creative, I bantered, I did something bold and took her to my favorite cigar bar (for a meal) where the waitresses had garter belts. And I didn’t take any guff. Once I got married I started to well, take some of that guff and it showed on her side. She vocally and clearly complained that I wasn’t being bold enough, wasn’t being the leader in the family. Thank God that she doesn’t play the little bullshit games when she genuinely wants me to change. And thank God for R for helping me get the balls to do it! Because just slight things like demonstrating that I’m in charge by making the plans for the weekend or saying, unprompted, “I want X for dinner” goes a long, long way.
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Roissy,
Keep up the good work! You have improved my life with your blogging content. Thank you!!
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It seems to me that none of this should come as a surprise. This blog should not come as much of an insight in the basic sense anymore than food prevents starvation. When women put pressure on men they are to have resolve. What love interest in fiction dutifully obeys? Effete men are the clowns in comedy or the victims in tragedy. When she blows and his bug infested woody snaps in a breeze, what do we expect? She will have disgust and spontaneously abort his spawn into an undie stain..
Now what I appreciate is what Roissy can do with a dozen eggs and deflowering. its Jack bitch slaps and legs bendydick until Jack knows the truth. He says it so well and in so many succulent flavors. .
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The same post that J. pointed out changed my life. Unfortunately I didn’t get to read it before my marriage fell apart. (No, she didn’t take me for half. But she did take my goddman dog.) At least now I understand what I did wrong.
This blog has ironically helped REDUCE, rather than increase, my misogyny. I used to think that women were evil creatures, and sincerely wished sometimes that I were gay so that I could write them off altogether. (Side note: widespread gay marriage will undermine the women’s equality movement as millions of straight husbands see gay husbands walking hand-in-hand while NOT arguing over stupid shit. Discuss.) Now I understand that women can’t but help themselves when it comes to shit-testing. I might as well place a steak next to a hungry dog and act morally outraged when the dog eats it. It’s a force of nature which can’t be judged.
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I’m with Bucket. There are plenty of pua blogs around, Roissy should get into misogynous/patriarchal.
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@Confidunce
This blog has ironically helped REDUCE, rather than increase, my misogyny.
This is what guys who understand game know: The duplicitous talk, scheming, and the lies that women spout al the time with men aren’t usually conscious.
Beta males are the most misogynistic. They actually end up hating women. I love women more now than I ever did; I don’t believe a word of the social stereotypes about them that I once did, and I can now accept them as they are.
[editor: it’s a myth that alpha males who are successful with women are immune to misogyny. some of the biggest misogynists are also the most charming womanizers.
see: in the company of men.]
A lot of guys who learn game understand this. Feminists and beta males don’t, because they still read from a false script.
Things that are true, and get used to it:
– Women will cheat as much if not more than men when tingled properly. Feminism teaches them to enjoy it, too.
– Women lie all the time when talking about their motivations and desires. Never listen to what they say, ever. Give them what they want. What they want is rarely what they say.
– Women have no sense of uber-loyalty, despite their belief. They can leave a relationship without ever going anywhere, and they often do.
– Women are capricious because they are inherently less rational and run on feelings. Their actual reason is usually rationalization. This is more true of women than men.
– Women can maintain contradictory emotional states. This means that when they describe them, they’re usually only telling part of the truth.
– Women are not aware of these things on a day-to-day basis, but as men, you need to learn how to deal with them.
When you do, your women will be happier and you’ll have happier relationships. Don’t treat them as angels or different kinds of guys. Treat them as women.
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“i don’t get the story. the guy’s wife was giving him shit about driving drunk and then he says he got someone to drive him home. sounds like she won the battle.”
The point is that he stopped living in fear of his wife’s being upset at him. When she asked him what he was doing, he perished the little lie and instead acted as if he had nothing to hide, that going out to get bombed with a friend was no longer a verboten activity. (In the process, he “owned” his choices and thus became more responsible instead of slinking home driving under the influence.)
Advice to anybody in an LTR: honesty may be the best policy. Don’t get in the habit of little lies. Trying to hide little annoyances just builds up mutual passive-aggressive interplay. Shit-test questions like do I look fat need to be deflected, but there’s no reason to lie about drinking with the guys or how you spent your money.
If your woman is consistently upset at how you spend your free time, she’s controlling and not respecting you as a person and needs to get the boot.
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Agreed with both Gorbachev and BadgerNation.
In terms of women and cheating, I think it’s possible that all women are capable of:
– cheating
– wanting to cheat but deciding to not to do so mentally not doing so because of commitment
– not even thinking of cheating as emotionally & physically bonded to someone/belonging
The same woman is capable of all three, it depends on the man and the relationship.
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Lily has given voice to my sentiment. Women are capable of, and do, just as much bad stuff as men. Not necessarily more or less, and in different ways. I’d be happy if society (and law) simply accepted this, and stopped jumping to the woman’s side of every gender issue.
Then we could have a balanced discussion, figure out who F’d up in any given scenario, and go on with our lives.
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My friend starts in on me. I said, “Man, you’re in a mood tonight.”
She gets pissed, eyes go wide, and she says, “What do you mean?”
I said, “Are you PMS-ing?”
Her eyes get really wide and she says, “The last man who said that to me is dead.”
Me: Pause.
Her: “Aren’t you going to try to dig your way out of this hole.”
Me: “Sometimes you have to dig straight through to China. It’s nice there I hear.”
Her: “You really need to think about what you’re going to say next.”
Me: “So it’s even worse … you’re not PMSing.”
She glared at me, and I just looked back at her, not angry, not even caring what she thought, and she suddenly laughs and grabs a button on my shirt and says, “You asshole.”
And kissed me.
Wish I’d learned this 30 years ago.
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@Lily
In terms of women and cheating, I think it’s possible that all women are capable of:
– cheating
– wanting to cheat but deciding to not to do so mentally not doing so because of commitment
– not even thinking of cheating as emotionally & physically bonded to someone/belonging
The same woman is capable of all three, it depends on the man and the relationship.
I’d go further and say that almost every woman is capable of all three at various stages within a relationship with the same man, it depends on how the relationship is going. Being capable of cheating doesn’t necessarily mean that she has to cheat though, but if she gets to the stage where she knows she is going to cheat sooner or later it is probably best to walk away from the relationship before this happens, it is a far better way to do things.
Although some women may be prepared to stay in a relationship with a man who cheats, no sane man would stay in a relationship with a woman who does so, even if they did the level of resentment would be huge, and would boil over disastrously at some point.
Btw I am not a fan of women walking away from a non-abusive relationship if there are children involved. Deciding to have kids is a very serious decision from point of view of a relationship as it makes the consequences of ending that relationship much more serious.
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I read someone saying something on this site about men cheating but women betraying. I don’t think that’s true (to me that expression sounds like a man will have a ONS and it doesn’t mean anything and a woman will be duplicitous).
[editor: the potential consequences of a man cheating are far less severe than a woman cheating. a woman can get pregnant and foist the bastard child onto the cuckold.
also, women tend to cheat to seek love or emotional connection with another man at the cost of less love for her current man, while men tend to cheat to fulfill a lustful urge that is often no more significant than the orgasmic denouement. in other words, a woman’s love reserve is zero sum, while a man’s love reserve is positive sum.
this is what is meant by women betray, men cheat.]
I don’t think it’s that it’s cut and dried. Men will lie and lie for years and gaslight their wives into thinking they are mad and can’t trust their own instincts. Not all men, but some men in some relationships. It’s not a men or women thing, everyone is capable of evil. I don’t know why it’s some big surprise that women aren’t the purest of angels.
And the fact they are not is not an excuse to start thinking all women are whores and treat them badly until they prove themselves to you, wow cause like treating women badly and making sure you ‘bang’ them (even if it means you have to hypnotise them, if they ‘bang’ you they must be stupid whores) before ‘sorting’ them into convenient boxes to fit in with you and your life is such a great and honourable way to live which is far superior to how women live. Hah. Just treat women like people and treat people how you want to be treated yourself. It’s not rocket science.
In the man and drinking story, to me it’s not about game (though I am a supporter of game in that it means charisma and manning up not if it means ‘how to hyponotise a girl into a threesome or anal sex), the approach works as it’s honest, takes responsibility for their actions and it’s a bit cheeky.
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That post was almost a year ago…and I still get blog hits and emails from people telling me how that post helped them change their lives….and god knows, my blog doesn’t have 1/100th the blog traffic this one gets.
I’ve never linked to my own blog while commenting here…yet people still track me down to tell me thanks.
I’m happy to know my entire point of contributing all of those comments that R compiled into that one post achieved exactly what I intended.
I still remember like it was yesterday the very first time I “passed” a shit test and saw the results for myself.
It was like years of cultural indoctrination, propaganda and lies had been wiped away from eyes in an instant. A true, watershed moment.
It’s been 3 years now since I discovered this thing called “game” on the internet.
It’s literally transformed my entire life. Glad I could do what I could to pay it forward here at the Chateau where pretty lies perish.
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With a previous girlfriend, I was thoroughly beta-ized. I had been trying to be understanding, affirming, please her. She seemed frustrated with me a lot, even though I was doing all the things women said they wanted — sharing my feelings, helping her with her feelings, yadda yadda.
However, one afternoon at lunch, I unconsciously reverted to my former form, before grad school and such. She said she didn’t want to work anymore, and that we both could live on my salary. I told her that was fine, but I want her to make it like the 1950s — I want her to keep the house clean, and greet me at the front door when I came home with dinner warming in the oven, wearing a dress and makeup, hand me a fresh martini, and give me a blowjob in my favorite chair.
I couldn’t believe that stream of chauvinism came out of my mouth, but I was tired that day and didn’t care at that moment. She got real quiet and said, “So I only have to keep the house clean and make dinner and get dressed up and suck your dick and I don’t have to work. If I don’t have to work, I’ll suck your dick.”
Then she left work early, made dinner, put on a dress and makeup, and went down on me when I got home. And I drew no message from that … and went back to beta form.
It didn’t last.
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Dave,
Thank you!
Lots of readers probably have the background of Dave, growing up in a pedestalizing household and/or affiliated with a pedestalizing church.
It can be hard to wash away pretty lies, and some men never do. Fortunately, nothing changes strongly-held opinions like success.
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Beta males are the most misogynistic.
Beta males often don’t know enough about women to form much of a bad opinion about them. Women are generally more pleasant on the surface than men, so it is easy to think they are better than they really are. Especially if you are a pretty good guy yourself it is easy to assume most women are pretty good too.
Plus, thinking women are worse than they really are can provide that killer instinct necessary to pump and dump without conscience. Since women often behave pretty badly, there is plenty of ammunition for this kind of attitude.
[editor: when applicable, sexless beta males tend to be bitterly misogynistic, while oversexed alpha males tend toward careless (or in some cases, sadistic) misogyny. in the bigger picture, though, women perceive a lot of male behavior that dampens their sexual arousal as misogynistic (they’ll often phrase it as “passive-aggressive”), which is why you’ll often hear women bitch about some poor beta niceguy as a bitter woman hater who, to more objective observers, seems to be a perfectly decent fellow.]
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Roissy you’re great. You’re just great and you actually changed my life for the better because you show me the ugly truth and made lies perish in front of my eyes. I am greateful to you.
However you’re also a cock sucking son of a bitch for not having answered my long fucking e mail. You could say something derrogative but at least you would be saying something.
Now I know the answer to the problem in the e-mail. The answer is “AGREE AND AMPLIFY”
[editor: my assistants must’ve been sleeping on the job. send me another one and i’ll reply with something derogative, but also helpful!]
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@Thursday
>Plus, thinking women are worse than they really are can provide that killer instinct necessary to pump and dump without conscience. Since women often behave pretty badly, there is plenty of ammunition for this kind of attitude.the potential consequences of a man cheating are far less severe than a woman cheating. a woman can get pregnant and foist the bastard childwhile men tend to cheat to fulfill a lustful urge that is often no more significant than the orgasmic denouement. in other words, a woman’s love reserve is zero sum, while a man’s love reserve is positive sum.
this is what is meant by women betray, men cheat.<
Yeah, I get that but some men have affairs for years and years (and then 'cheat' on the mistress too) I can't believe their love for the wife stayed the same. And they'll often stay with the wife for years they don't love anymore which is a betrayal. And the worst is gaslighting. In the evil league of evilness, is it ever ok to try and make the one you claim you love that they are going mad?
[editor: repeat after me: The exceptions prove the rule. the exceptions prove the rule.
i’ve no doubt plenty of husbands who are repulsed by their fat old wives seek the warm loving embrace of hotter, younger mistresses, and that these flings can last for years. but normally, the husbands won’t leave their marriages to abscond with the mistress. in contrast, wives in long term flings usually can’t wait to stampede to divorce court. like i said, men have a bigger capability of sharing their love for multiple partners, while women normally can’t help but focus their love and sex like a laser beam on one partner at a time. whether a man who has lost his love for his wife but who stays with her is a bigger betrayal than a wife who has lost her love for her husband and decides to leave him, is a thought exercise i leave for the reader. if i had to bet, more people will see it my way than yours.]
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>>[editor: the potential consequences of a man cheating are far less severe than a woman cheating. a woman can get pregnant and foist the bastard child onto the cuckold.<
Agreed but this doesn't happen in all instances of cheating. Personally, I couldn't do it (living with the guilt? living on a knife edge for the rest of your life that your child's life is going to come crashing around them? I'd rather kill myself) but some women do, but I think it's going to get less as women have more economic options and I can't see how a guy can not notice the kid doesn't look like him at all and really blood tests and DNA tests are so easy to get.
Men's cheating and women's cheating is no better no worse. It happens. It's only individual circumstance and the couple's own perspective on what's better or worse.
[editor: incorrect. the threat of female cuckoldry is far worse by any objective measure than the threat of male sexual infidelity.]
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Women are vulnerable to men’s cheating — STDs, including AIDS.
Women tend to underestimate the degree to which they are vulnerable, with modern medicine. Herpes is forever, as is HPV, and AIDS, and so on.
That hot, dominant Alpha that every woman wants — could very well give the woman an STD or three, because he’s been with tons of women. Women are more vulnerable on average to STDs than men, all things being equal, with significant issues for healthy reproduction. Being on “Team Valtrex” is not the same as being healthy.
But women are inherently more risk-friendly than men: WHEN IT COMES TO SEX PARTNERS. Ask the families of Natalee Holloway and the Flores woman.
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>[editor: incorrect. the threat of female cuckoldry is far worse by any objective measure than the threat of male sexual infidelity.]<
As you say, it's a threat (not a definite).
Obviously if your woman tries to cuckold you with another man's child, you kick her ass to the kerb.
Some women would say that the threat of men having a child with someone else is bad as by marrying her they promised her and their future children all his resources. Not me personally but that's how some women see it.
Infidelity sucks all around, it's a complete betrayal if your wife tries to cuckold you, or your husband gives you HPV which gives leads to cervical cancer and you end up in a wheelchair and he's one of the only 2 people you've slept with in your 50 years on earth (true story, I know another story like that but she died of the cervical cancer), or lives with you saying they love you for 30 years and then you find out they had a mistress and a love child for 20 years all that time and you feel you wasted your youth. Come on, we all know people who've been in these situations or worse, don't let's make out that men cheat and women betray. Because it really isn't that black and white.
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@ Lily
Roissy pretty much explained it. Women betray because they accept foreign sperm when they cheat. DNA tests don’t change anything. Men are wired to react to this and so see it as far more serious. A man dumping a fuck in another woman doesn’t cost anything besides about 2 minutes, a few kilojoules of energy and a few hundred million sperm. Not a scarce egg, 9 months and a lifetime of lies, wasted resources and a deceased genetic legacy. Male infidelity Is about as bad as masturbating or looking at porn. Not bad at all. You could even argue that playing a physical sport such as rugby or american football, or driving a car is a greater threat to the wife. Any resulting injury could jeopardize the mans ability to protect and provide for his family far more than sleeping with another woman.
Eggs expensive. Sperm cheap. Thats the end of that.
Women are often better at complainging and throwing accusations than men, talking shit and whatnot so as to confuse the issue and make male infidelity seem as bad(as you demonstrate). They are however not quite as good at feeling genuine betrayal. Their main concern is emotional and mental control of their male partner, and god forbid a well to do beta ever get caught cheating, they would be outraged!!!
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i’ve no doubt plenty of husbands who are repulsed by their fat old wives seek the warm loving embrace of hotter, younger mistresses, and that these flings can last for years. but normally, the husbands won’t leave their marriages to abscond with the mistress…
The example given is the soft end of cheating though. Lots of husbands cheat on wives who are not fat or old (even on the Roissysphere view of the female ageing process). And instead of the warm loving embrace of hotter younger mistresses they may simply go for any and every skank in the vicinity and not necessarily a younger fresher one either. Although I agree that the reality of the situation is that, in practice, no matter what people say, cheating by a woman is viewed more seriously than cheating by a man, this doesn’t necessarily mean that male cheating is all of the vanilla sort outlined above, some forms of male cheating can be easier to tolerate than others.
whether a man who has lost his love for his wife but who stays with her is a bigger betrayal than a wife who has lost her love for her husband and decides to leave him, is a thought exercise i leave for the reader.
Again, it depends on the circumstances. I would say, however, that men who stay with their wives, having lost their love for them, usually have a lot of built up resentment about this and are not necessarily easy to live with. They may not be doing the wife a favour, particularly if she is young enough to have other options. And like it or not, male cheating is not always just about lust, if only life were so simple, instead, a lot of men get very emotionally involved with the person they cheat with, and this is bad news for their wives.
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@Whiskey>Women are vulnerable to men’s cheating — STDs, including AIDS<
Yeah, not just from the Alpha male, but from their husbands whom they are least likely to protect themselves from.
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breaking news:
HIALEAH, Fla. – A gunman shot and killed his wife outside a South Florida restaurant where she worked, then targeted women inside and killed three others before committing suicide, police said Monday.
Police said 38-year-old Gerardo Regalado bypassed at least two men when he fired at the women inside. Three women were hospitalized in critical condition, Hialeah police Detective Eddie Rodriguez said.
“He went straight for the women,” Rodriguez said.
Regalado is the half brother of former baseball star Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez.
The shooting began Sunday night in a parking lot outside the Yoyito Restaurant in Hialeah, where Regalado of Coral Gables was seen arguing with Liazan Molina, Rodriguez said. According to Florida marriage records, the couple married in 2007.
According to police, Regalado shot and killed Molina, 24, then entered the restaurant and fired on six women inside.
Regalado came to Miami from Cuba in 2006.
so many punchlines in here!
it’s comforting to know that, by default, tupac was unscathed.
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Man fucks a woman. He then walks 2 km in any direction away from that woman. Woman gone. Man same as before.
Woman fucks man. She then walks 2km in any direction away from that man. Sperm still inside woman. Baby still inside woman.
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If you haven’t already, you should catch an episode or 2 of Basketball Wives.
Surprised I haven’t seen a post about this yet. Chock full of material backing up everything covered here on the humiliations women will submit to be with a man of status.
Eric Williams is a tour de force unapologetic Alpha.
http://www.vh1.com/video/basketball-wives/full-episodes/episode-2/1637150/playlist.jhtml
Excerpt:
“One thing’s for sure, basketball’s an emotional sport. And when things get crazy on the court, we need that little bit extra when we come home. But sometimes it needs to be on the road. Sometimes you make mistakes. I’m not perfect. Nobody is.”
“One can say I was messed up, but I really wasn’t, I was trying to satisfy me at the time, and that’s it.”
“Man grow at his own pace, you know what I mean?”
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I would think a stronger man like Roissy or Realist would be able to have sex with another woman and walk away from her and go home and be the same husband he was before. A weak man would decide he is in love with the new woman and change as a husband or abandon his wife completely.
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The biggest eye-opener from this blog was the “Truth” of pre-selection being a criteria for attraction.
I never realized the power of making women jealous.
Clearly they shit test on “how many women have you been with? ” etc etc…
Yet increasingly as I begin to understand this concept and game in general, posting photos of me with with other girls only makes more women want to hang out, check me out, talk to me etc.
How many comments have I got from other women by being in the company of other women?
Snide, passive aggressive comments: “So popular….”
To which I respond: “Don’t miss your chance….” and smile.
Game…
Tom Petty summed it up best…
“It’s all right if you love me, it’s all right if you don’t…I’m not afraid of you running away baby I get the feeling you would…It’s all right…”
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Yes, this stuff works. I have used it on my wife. I have always had natural “game”, but I have done a bit more consciously of late. Be careful not to overdo it. If you have the little woman in her place, don’t grind her harder just for fun. Or at least, not too much.
Almost anything a man does or says can be construed as misogynistic by a feminist, or even by an ordinary woman in a bad mood. So don’t fear being called “misogynistic”.
After many years of marriage, I have learned to keep your eye on what the woman actually does. It doesn’t matter what she says, so long as she is providing the companionship and services you want on a regular basis. Women have a real habit of saying one thing while doing another, sometimes at the exact same time. Women betray themselves constantly.
I agree that we should own our shadow, or it will own us. Many men have a sadistic streak. Maybe it is an alpha thing. A combination of coldness and desire. I have been able to deal with mine in a relatively healthy way in a long marriage. It helps to have a slightly masochistic wife.
Some of this is being discussed over here:
http://traditionalmarriage.wordpress.com/2010/05/30/the-origin-of-masculine-traits/
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That rss feature on your blog here is magnificent, you should tell more folks about it in your upcoming post. I haven’t noted it for the first couple of times, now I’m using it each morning to check on any updates. I’m on a very slow dial-up link in Jakarta and it’s quite frustrating to sit there and wait for such a long time ’til the page loads… but hey, I just found your rss page and added it to the Google Reader and there you are… I’m always up-to-date! Well pal, keep up the good work and make that rss button a little bigger so that other people can enjoy that as well 😛
00:16
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“no matter what people say, cheating by a woman is viewed more seriously than cheating by a man”
What society are you living in? Every major social outlet from Oprah to Dr Phil to “America’s Rabbi” (I forget his name) treats cheating men as boors and cheating women as victims of their failed husbands – “he must have driven her to it.”
Dr. Laura is the only exception I can think of, unabashedly telling women on the air to be good wives so their husbands won’t think to look elsewhere.
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“Man fucks a woman. He then walks 2 km in any direction away from that woman. Woman gone. Man same as before.”
Is this some kind of GRE Quant test question?
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@Badger Nation
“no matter what people say, cheating by a woman is viewed more seriously than cheating by a man”
What society are you living in? Every major social outlet from Oprah to Dr Phil to “America’s Rabbi” (I forget his name) treats cheating men as boors and cheating women as victims of their failed husbands – “he must have driven her to it.”
Dr. Laura is the only exception I can think of, unabashedly telling women on the air to be good wives so their husbands won’t think to look elsewhere.
Badger has it right. Women cheating is almost always blamed on the guy. The praise-me culture of female friends always blames the man.
But when the man cheats – he’s a bastard.
Excuses like, “She was emotionally unavailable, I was unsure about our relationship, she was using sex as a bargaining tool, I had self-esteem issues” – all proper reasons for a woman to cheat as much as she wants- can never be used by men.
Best deal: Just tell society to fuck off. Say: I am a polygamist-minded Male, and I Like Sex With Interesting Women.
If you want my Exclusive Attention, EARN IT.
Otherwise, fuck off with your judgments.
Never apologize for it.
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Don’t complain, don’t explain. Fuck “society”, as Gorby said.
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@Badger
“What society are you living in? Every major social outlet from Oprah to Dr Phil to “America’s Rabbi” (I forget his name) treats cheating men as boors and cheating women as victims of their failed husbands – “he must have driven her to it.”
Dr. Laura is the only exception I can think of, unabashedly telling women on the air to be good wives so their husbands won’t think to look elsewhere.”
I’m not American, sorry. I’m Irish (sorry to keep mentioning it as nauseum, but it’s relevant here). Have you ever seen the film “Ryan’s Daughter”? This was my grandparents’ generation, it is not that long ago. The unfaithful wife got tarred and feathered.
Although this doesn’t happen here today, and our legal system is no fault divorce (since 1996 only, though) and therefore doesn’t penalise cheaters on either side, I don’t think excuses are made for cheating to the same extent, and people will speak harder against cheating women (behind their back, at least) and not necessarily praise them to their face. I also think we have a slightly lower tolerance for crap, we know when people are spinning us a line out of self-interest.
Again, maybe it is just the people I mix with, but where I come from I really would not like to be known as a cheating woman. Apart from anything else, my mother & her friends would verbally flay me alive.
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sorry “ad nauseum”
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Just tell society to fuck off. Say: I am a polygamist-minded Male, and I Like Sex With Interesting Women.
If you want my Exclusive Attention, EARN IT.
– – – –
I have no problem with people behaving this way. It’s when there are fuzzy lines drawn and lying that it bothers me — the same as when it would bother me if a woman did it.
If you want to be in-exclusive that’s fine, but advocating that your response to her question of exclusivity be naturally or yes, when you’re not being exclusive, or lying to your wife or girlfriend about your cheat habits isn’t just harmful emotionally, but it’s exposing her to a lot of STDs as others have mentioned.
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@vasafaxa
Just tell society to fuck off. Say: I am a polygamist-minded Male, and I Like Sex With Interesting Women.
If you want my Exclusive Attention, EARN IT.
– – – –
I have no problem with people behaving this way. It’s when there are fuzzy lines drawn and lying that it bothers me — the same as when it would bother me if a woman did it.
If you want to be in-exclusive that’s fine, but advocating that your response to her question of exclusivity be naturally or yes, when you’re not being exclusive, or lying to your wife or girlfriend about your cheat habits isn’t just harmful emotionally, but it’s exposing her to a lot of STDs as others have mentioned.
I agree, actually. Actually, I despise this in women. I’ve been in 4 serious LTRs over 5 years, and in only one did the woman cheat, to my knowledge; and it was reprehensible.
Many women cheat who are in relationships. Might make me an accomplice. It’s been a while for that, though. The Crazies, that time of insane readjustment, come and go.
But for a guy who does this – I actually try to be honest. And here’s why.
1) I like women. If I’m sleeping with someone, there’s some reason I like them. If I like them, I don’t want to hurt them. Except when they treat men like shit. Then I like to damage their egos in some way. But that’s petty.
2) I like women as people, as human beings. They deserve basic human decency. Sleeping with them does not count as not decent.
3) Lying takes energy and it’s hard to maintain it. It’s easy to slip up and you only hurt yourself.
4) Lying is usually unnecessary, if you know what you’re doing.
5) You may have to work harder if you’re open. That’s OK; when the women stay with you, you know they like you (or they just like sleeping with you. Often amounts to the same thing, on a pragmatic level).
6) It helps avoid being labeled as a player, because you’re not duping women. And not being a player means you can, eventually, decide to find the right woman, or a right woman.
And besides – relationships can get spicy, when someone thinks you could be not entirely focused on her. She tends to try harder, or go away; the try-harder is sweet.
And the complicated management scenarios are so byzantine, after a while, you just get confused.
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Yeah, that might work for Mick Jagger or Che Guevara, but most guys are going to have to play the ambiguity card if they want hot women to put up with their fooling around. (keep them unsure.)
honesty is a bad policy. it is like living under your mother’s dress.
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Mutually committing to exclusivity, honoring your commitment, but teasing/”keeping her guessing” to keep focus on the value of what you’re providing = yeah, I get that.
Mutually committing to exclusivity, NOT honoring your commitment (while expecting her to honor her end of the bargain), and “keeping her guessing” to create plausible deniability in her mind, thereby manipulating her into manipulating herself into staying with you despite her best interests and values = dude, you lost me.
It’s the incongruence between feeling entitled to a [near-]virgin to marry and rightfully call your own, and feeling entitled to a steady supply of new pussy, not only pre-maritally but also as an extracurricular activity to marriage, that creates a serious credibility issue with a sizable segment of the commentary here.
Let the dissembling begin.
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Reader J. here.
There seems to be a bit of confusion regarding my first use of Agree & Amplify. In the before scenario, I was telling the truth. I had 3 drinks in four hours and I wasn’t legally nor technically drunk. Wifey gives me the same shit test everytime I go out with my friends. How do I know it’s a shit test? If I’m on antibiotics and not drinking when I go out, she finds another excuse to shit test me when I come home. After reading this blog, I didn’t change my behavior one iota, only my attitude and answers. That’s the beauty of A&A. Nobody drove me home, and she didn’t have to drive me anywhere to pick up my car. I just agreed with her false premise (that I drank to excess) and amplified it to a point just shy of absurdity. What used to be a 20 – 30 minute argument was over in approximately 45 seconds.
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Using this stuff to save a marriage sounds kinda insane if you ask me. Now that I’m seeing things clearly I don’t think I could ever settle down with one woman.
I can see why Roissy is living the lifestyle he is. If I was to take advantage of PUA techniques I think I’d veer down a path similar to his, for certain personal reasons.
All I can say as that I used to carry a lot of guilt for a few women years ago. But recent events seem to be telling me I have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, no matter what I’ve done. As if I’m somehow being ‘called’ to embrace my shadow. As if the shadow is somehow MEANT to be there.
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@Anonymous
Using this stuff to save a marriage sounds kinda insane if you ask me. Now that I’m seeing things clearly I don’t think I could ever settle down with one woman.
I can see why Roissy is living the lifestyle he is. If I was to take advantage of PUA techniques I think I’d veer down a path similar to his, for certain personal reasons.
*IF* you were to take advantage of them? Why wouldn’t you?
That’s insane.
All I can say as that I used to carry a lot of guilt for a few women years ago. But recent events seem to be telling me I have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, no matter what I’ve done. As if I’m somehow being ‘called’ to embrace my shadow. As if the shadow is somehow MEANT to be there.
Women like the shadow.
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This ‘game’ technique was covered about 30 years ago in a book called “Making things better by making them worse” – I forget the author’s name. It was probably the first anti shit-test manual. Well worth a read.
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I didn’t even realize it until just now, but I used this all the time when I was kid.
Parents: Where did you go last night?
Me: Me & my buddies smoked a huge bag of reefer.
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@ppg
That shit works, huh?
I used to say shit like that to my girlfriend in HS. She’d call me and be like “what you doing?”
Me: “Just leaving some other chick’s house. What’s up?”
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Roissy,
I definitely think your blog is a service to married men as well. Though I discovered many of your principles through trial and error and through listening to Tom Leykis before I got married, this blog definitely helps further hone my skills and reminds me to stay the course.
As a result, I actually like being married and I like my wife.
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What Roissy says about male/female relationships, I heard from my mother and grandmother years ago. Roissy is just saying what everyone used to know before PC and feminist brainwashing.
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josh–
Stop taking your wife and her shit tests so seriously. That’s the first and biggest key to inner game. Have a view of benign amusement about it all, and don’t begin to hide that from her. One tip around here was to treat your LTR or wife as you would a much loved by given to tantrums and outbursts 13yo daughter. Loving mild condescension, and soothing.
Next a great deal of wife criticism can be dealt with by “agree and amplify”. That too was in Roissy’s invaluable “Relationship Game Week” series, which you should Google site search to find. Actually site search on “agree and amplfy” for the whole post on it (a lot of commenters have mentioned it since so it will come up in more than one Roissy post), but find the one that ‘s all about it and gives numerous examples. You’ll find it’s a remarkably useful starting technique and it’s completely different from acting surly. It’s acting like you couldn’t care less.
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Badger Nation–
That’s the heavily feminist American media, which does do just that, and much else besides in service of “mainstream feminism”.
However that’s overlaid on an earlier American understanding which was very much there in 40s movies through the sixities really (the 70s was when feminism really came in as a mass phenomenon), and which indeed did consider female adultery less likely yes, but also far more serious. Both of which were probably true through the 60s, but then rapidly not so thereafter, after the disastrous feminist revolution set in.
Myself, I can’t think of a single feminist pushed law I’m in favor of, with the sole exception of abortion rights. Though I think that should have been legilatively allowed as it already was in a few states including California and New York and I believe Connecticut, with that growing, rather than a Supreme Court decision, which was based upon made up and “just found” “Constitutional” principles and their “penumbra”.
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“What society are you living in? Every major social outlet from Oprah to Dr Phil to “America’s Rabbi” (I forget his name) treats cheating men as boors and cheating women as victims of their failed husbands – “he must have driven her to it.”
My opinion on this is that the media may be more forgiving of female adultery than male adultery, but society on the whole isn’t.
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[…] Saving Marriages One Blog Post At A Time, Contrast Is King: Identity Inversion, Game Is 50% Not Putting Foot […]
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OT:
The rationalization hamsters in the comments section of Ross Douthat’s column today are in tip top shape.
http://community.nytimes.com/comments/www.nytimes.com/2010/06/14/opinion/14douthat.html?sort=oldest
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[…] Saving Marriages One Blog Post At A Time […]
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I’ve been in an LTR for over 2 years now, it has not been going well. I discovered Game and this website on Monday. Every night since then I have practiced techniques learned here, the success has blown my mind. I got laid Monday night. On Tuesday night she is shit-testing me constantly but I hold my own pretty well, eventually I tell her we’re going to bed to have sex. She is all pissy about this (as usual) and says she is still sore from the night before. Within 5 minutes of nonchalant teasing I was sure I had her ready to say yes, conveniently she went to the bedroom to change. I followed and when naked I blatantly checked her out and then negged her: “You look really hot, you’ve lost weight haven’t you?”
She smiled and frowned at the same time, then flaunted her body while acting like she was checking herself out and going blah blah blah about her weight and shit. I came up behind her and did the one armed hug/tit squeeze, kind of manhandling her a bit in the process so she had to take a step back into me. I ignored whatever she was saying and said something like, “too bad you don’t get to fuck me tonight, I’m going to go take a shower”. I started to walk off and before I even made it to the door she tole me to make the shower quick because she wants to have sex now. I took my time and when I came back acted like I’d forgotten about it. She actually took my towel and dried me off with it before we had awesome sex for 45 minutes.
The most amazing thing about this week is that I can so clearly see the power games she plays with me. As soon as my game starts to set in she comes at me hard with shit tests and is trying to knock me out of my frame. I can actually see that moment where it clicks for her, it really seems like she knows exactly what she is doing, it’s incredible. Wednesday got pretty intense, but I held on until the end. She actually apologized for her behavior first thing the next morning. She almost never apologizes for anything.
Last night was the most epic so far, she was on the brink of throwing a tantrum again when I almost lost it and gave in. I was laughing though and that helped me keep my game on through the toughest parts, then I realized I could not be taken down and just kept treating her like an amusing brat. I did some gentle teasing and then backed way off but without letting her set the tone. When I came back she was still trying to keep it up so I negged her (“You look so cute when you’re frustrated”). That really started to knock her off of it, she started to smirk. Then she doubled down and made some accusation that put me on the defensive, I grabbed onto it and agreed to the point of absurdity. That finally did it, the smirk started to come back and I knew I had broken through. No sex, but instead of a controlling bitch in a foul mood I had a sweet girl cuddling up against me the rest of the night.
This week has been an incredible revelation, I am still a complete novice but just the little that I know has changed my relationship for the better.
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