Chicks Dig Jerks: Chimney Sweep Edition

Love is so powerful it can cause a smart person to act stupidly. So stupidly, she unintentionally kills herself.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A doctor involved in an “on-again, off-again” relationship apparently tried to force her way into her boyfriend’s home by sliding down the chimney, police said Tuesday. Her decomposing body was found there three days later.

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, first tried to get into the house with a shovel, then climbed a ladder to the roof last Wednesday night, removed the chimney cap and slid feet first down the flue, Bakersfield police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said.

While she was trying to break in, the man she was pursuing escaped unnoticed from another exit “to avoid a confrontation,” authorities said.

DeGeare said the two were in an “on-again, off-again” relationship.

Skittles man, Bring the Movies man… meet On-again, Off-again man.

The good doctor was infatuated (and infatuation is a form of love — unidirectional love) with an older bad boy. How do we know he was a bad boy? Ye shall know the jerks by their treatment of women. “On-again, off-again” is a euphemistically pleasing way to say “he was using her for sex but she wasn’t hot or young enough for his full-blown monogamous commitment”. There are many flavors of jerk; not all of them are the stereotypical underemployed tattooed thug wannabes. The ostensible boyfriend who resided at the House of Absurd Ways to Die, 58 year old William Moodie, fled through the back door of his own home so he wouldn’t have to deal with the crazy bitch. There’s no doubt this guy was a “bring the movies” kind of caring and attentive lover. And that that’s why she chased after him so desperately.

There’s a picture of Kotarac in the embedded video to the article at 0:15 seconds in, and she is pretty decent looking for a 49 year old. For one, she hasn’t let herself go like so many aging American women who haven’t met a buffet table they didn’t raid. So her desperation was not a result of being a low value tubby omega female punching way above her (heh) weight class. Physically, she was probably a close match to him. Intellectually, as a doctor, she was likely as smart or smarter than him (Moodie runs an engineering consulting firm. Interestingly, engineering is a perceived classic beta male field, which goes to show betaness is an infection of the soul rather than an occupational condition). So on paper, it would seem there would be no reason for such a skewed relationship power dynamic to exist, “relationship exactness and complementarity” to the contrary notwithstanding. And yet it did, as she wildly chased and he ran away when she got to be too much of a pain in the ass. One is then compelled to ask, how does a man achieve this sort of power over a woman? I submit that the reasons are simple: Moodie was a master of aloof and indifferent game, and Kotarac, despite her relatively good looks for a woman her age, was depressingly aware on a subconscious level that the wall was nigh. She had found an alpha male, and she wanted him badly before the door closed forever on her sexual and romantic love options.

This episode imparts some valuable lessons. Money, social status, and material possessions are useful, but if you want complete control over your woman, BY FAR the best method for maintaining that control is to exercise push-pull game (aka careless asshole game) on a woman of fragile self-conception. Her instinctual programming will do the rest, as you quickly find yourself being pursued with an amorous gusto normally experienced only by very hot babes in the prime of their procreative lives. Older men with game and very famous and/or vastly wealthy men might be the closest men get to knowing what it feels like to live as a 22 year old beautiful woman.

Here’s a question: was this guy Moodie in his house the whole time she was rotting in his chimney, or did he stay somewhere else thinking it would require a few days for the Stalking Cougar to cool off and give up harassing him at his home? If the former, you have to wonder how he was able to miss the stench coming from the chimney flue. Perhaps his nose was buried in another woman’s pussy?

“She made an unbelievable error in judgment and nobody understands why, and unfortunately she’s passed away,” Moodie told The Associated Press. “She had her issues – she had her demons – but I never lost my respect for her.”

Does this guy Moodie sound like he’s broken-hearted? Nope. Sounds instead like he could do without the hassle, especially if girlfriends #2 and #3 have visiting hours while reporters are posted outside his door.

Kotarac apparently died in the chimney, but her body was not discovered until a house-sitter noticed a stench and fluids coming from the fireplace Saturday, according to a police statement. The house-sitter and her son investigated with a flashlight and found Kotarac dead, wedged about two feet above the top of the interior fireplace opening.

Santa Claus wept fluids.

Firefighters spent five hours late Saturday dismantling the chimney and flue from outside the home to extract Kotarac’s body, DeGeare said.

You’ve gotta tip your hipster newsie to the brave men who do these shitty jobs.

Executive summary:

1. Older women, including MILFs, are desperate.
2. Aloof asshole game is chick crack at any age.
3. Intelligence is no immunity from stupid decisions made under the influence of love.
4. A woman’s high status career is no leverage against the sexual status lowering effect of her getting older.
5. A woman’s high status career is worthless to men who aren’t gigolos.
6. Bitches be crazy!