The night was late. I was killing her softly with a tune I began playing on my guitar. She eased back, ensconced in the plush cushions of my sofa, and her eyelids lowered a bit as I strummed my grandioso opus for her ears only. A content smile warmed her face and she interrupted me when I paused to work out a chord.
“You look so serious when you play. I like it.”
My serious concentration took a break as I turned to face her. She had lust in her eyes. She sat up and wrapped her arms around my shoudlers. We kissed.
I easily recalled her statement the next day because they reminded me of eerily similar statements said by past lovers in analogous circumstances. When I have redirected my attention from seducing women to performing a solo activity disengaged from their participation, they have responded in like manner —
“I love it when you’re so serious.”
What is going on here? I have a theory.
Women love two things: Passionate men who pursue their mission(s) in life with single-minded focus, and easily distracted men whose interests and hobbies are capable of diverting their attention from the wiles of women. The evolutionary reasons for this can be explained thus:
– Men on a mission who pursue goals with passion are better at securing resources and protection (survivial value) for the women in their lives. Women don’t consciously think this way, of course, but they don’t need to. All their genes care about is getting them to swoon for a man fully “locked in” on whatever challenge he is confronting or purpose he is fulfilling. The rest will take care of itself.
– Men who are easily distracted away from women’s beauty and women’s guile are attractive because they signal a high level of competence and familiarity with women (an “act like you’ve been there before” attitude) that suggests to women a history of success at bedding them. Men who are successful at bedding women bring high replicative value that redounds to the sexual success of any sons the women may have by them. This is why women love to chase after unattainable bad boys who’ve never paid for a dinner or given flowers in their lives.
Moral of this post: Get a hobby, any hobby (except video gaming or Civll War reenacting), and throw yourself into it. Make sure she occasionally sees your brow sweating with passionate single-mindedness. You don’t even have to be that good at it. Her libido will respond right on cue.
Everyone has a day job(she doesnt care) but what are you really passionate about(she does care)
(a few minutes into the convo)
3point5: I do civil engineering and construction management, but what I’m really into is my photography…(down play civil eng, up play the photography)
HB: Oh,
3point5: Maybe later I’ll show you a few of my favorite exposures…
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Yes.
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That’s so true. My girlfriend said something similar a few times, and most enjoyed ripping off my clothes after I’ve finished writing something while ignoring her.
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goddamn it, why not video gaming??
OT:
any link for IQ differences in children adopted in a different racial household that also controls for SES?
I remember reading one sometime back, can’t find it in bookmarks. 😦
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I heard exactly that comment recently when focusing on my laptop. Apparently I’m sexy when I concentrate.
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wish i had a nice yamaha baby grand in my apartment
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I’m a criminal interrogator by day but I’m really passionate about big buck hunter. Watch me get all 5 critters…
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I’d like to see a list of “negitive” hobbies (like Civil War re-enacting) that repel women.
Photography, yes, I do that and it works for some women.
I also know how to repair a computer and can magically bring most laptops back to life. Although useful, it doesn’t turn on the ladies, so I make a point of never mentioning it.
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wtf is this shit
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“any link for IQ differences in children adopted in a different racial household that also controls for SES?”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Transracial_Adoption_Study
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“As Scarr & Weinberg (1976) note, trans racial adoption studies only control for family environment, not social environment. For example, children who are socially identified as black may still be subject to racial discrimination despite being raised by white parents.”
This is the handwave they do on their own results. I personally find it chuckleworthy, as if racial discrimination by necessity leads to lowered IQ. Probably a few Asians and Jews find that funny as well.
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My theory is a little different, but leads to the same place. I think that what’s so attractive about us being “so serious” isn’t the “man with a purpose” or even the aloofness of it, it’s actually the vulnerability we offer when we’re so serious with something. It’s a cool way of us making ourselves more human and personal. Women eat that stuff up.
Mind you, you *have* to have alpha cred ahead of time for this to work, otherwise you’re the teen nerd who’s just as serious and focused as he’s trying to learn Eddie Van Halen solos. But assuming you’re good to go with your alpha cred, then what better way to show the human side? It’s endearing.
Think about it – this girl wasn’t thinking “Wow, he’s so focused, he’s going to get really good at the guitar and play in a rock band and be famous!” And she wasn’t thinking, “Wow, he’s so focused, he’s probably forgotten all about me! I’d better try harder to impress him!”
Instead, she was probably thinking, “Wow, this guy is so confident and cool, but here he is, really working on something just for the fun of it. That’s so cute!”
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Other hobbies include military history (one of my favourite past-times, but as much use as a barb-wire prophylactic with the ladies); science-fiction and collecting teddy bears.
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It’s the mental version of their appreciating our muscles. They’ll say the same thing about your hands, if they’re strong.
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Well if you like remote controlled shit I suggest locking a garage and never telling your woman about it.
It was like the incongruency was killing my woman.
It was like disbelief that I would buy a remote controlled helicopter.
On its maiden flight I detroyed it hitting the house.
Probably for the best until I get another piece of property to play on where my woman is not allowed to go.
Having the wrong hobby is worse than fucking other woman. he he he
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How would her libido respond if she found out your life’s purpose was to understand women’s whims in an effort to be attractive?
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This was a good post. I think it’s also the fact that she is aware that there are plenty of other women out there. The fact that you ignore her to pursue goals with passion implies that you do the same to other women. Therefore, if she can snag you, you will be a better mate as she will not have to share you and your resources.
However, if you don’t have other goals and just care about her, then she will think, at least subconsciously, that what you actually care about most is women generally, of which she is just one example. Therefore you will be a worse mate as she will have to share you and your resources, and so your progeny will be worse off.
This would fit well with Riff Dog’s point that you need alpha cred to make this work. If you have alpha cred and ignore women to pursue goals with passion, it signals high status and potential exclusivity. If you lack alpha cred and ignore women to pursue goals with passion, it signals low status and past failure (he’s not trying because he knows he won’t succeed).
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A diff take. Notice the areas that this covers and those that it does not. Whatever has some form of Musae involved is on the plus side (guitar, photography… I was decent at paintings and they made chicks drip on sight, at least the somewhat artsy types…, writing a novel), while activities that are more practical or less creative (fixing laptops, video games, building bridges) on the minus side, bare the areas that involve some sort of voodoo and dirty grease (sometimes, like a car mechanic, or a plumber [“can you plug my leaking pipe?”, “Certainly, ma’am!”).
With exception of voodoo areas (magic), what is really going through the chick’s head is: “He does have an emotional aspect!”
Of course, just speculating.
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Unfair
How would her libido respond if she found out your life’s purpose was to understand women’s whims in an effort to be attractive?
You never tell and you’ll be a mystery man. 🙂
A mystery is one of the chick crack substances.!
Kidding aside, if that is your only purpose, you’d fail. You are not to understand what even they don’t understand. They are whims. You just need to learn how to deflect them, shred them, redirect them.
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The hobby or activity should be chosen wisely. If it is indeed Civil War re-enacting or video gaming, keep it to yourself.
The dames like a hobby with an element of risk. Think BASE jumping or motorcycling. Or, they like a hobby with a creative, possibly emotional element. Think writing or music.
Shit, pretend you have a hobby that makes her vagina tingle and spend your time with radio controlled shit when she’s not around.
The pretend hobby also has the advantage of being a cover for your real hobby (or other chippies you’re fucking). “Sorry sweetie, but I prefer to write alone.” Meanwhile, you’re off to Gettysburg or Jill’s place!
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I recommend learning to pilot an aeroplane as a hobby. Them pilots get some quality tail.
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Think BASE jumping or motorcycling.
Whiskey, zzat you? (sorry, coulnd’t resist)
Or, they like a hobby with a creative, possibly emotional element. Think writing or music
Music yes. Writing: a tougher one. Too easy to fall into the wimpy “I wanna be a writer when I grow up” trap. Or worse, a poet.
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Writing is a tough one. Poets need not apply in order to score the good ‘poon.
Perhaps writing a crime drama novel or an adventure drama novel?
Writing a novel (even a pretend one) gives great cover for all sorts of “research”.
Nah, I ain’t Whiskey. However, I do ride a motorcycle and I am a published writer.
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Been there before.
I play guitar for 12 years now. I never used it as a peacocking thing – I mean, playing when in groups, socially. Its mostly alone and for my own amusement.
At times, I would play it after sex (I just feel like playing a coulpe chords after loving). Bare chest, barefoot, wearing pants only.
Before the second chord of whatever tune I would play – or impro – I was already absorbed.
When I ended, when I finally landed in my body again, and after a brief silence, I would look around and find the girl still silent, still looking at me.
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””””Shit, pretend you have a hobby that makes her vagina tingle and spend your time with radio controlled shit when she’s not around.
The pretend hobby also has the advantage of being a cover for your real hobby (or other chippies you’re fucking). “Sorry sweetie, but I prefer to write alone.” Meanwhile, you’re off to Gettysburg or Jill’s place!
”””””
The normal shit I do on daily basis get her gina tingeling.
The thing is you don’t have to hide the chippies you are fucking but you do need to hide the hobby lol
That is funny shit.
Actually I don’t know for sure I could prob get away with it but she was acting wierd on the issue unlike any other. So I compromised I guess.
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It’s not what you’re focusing on, it’s the focus itself. Maybe it’s the vulnerability, maybe it’s the indication of passion. I don’t know. I do know that women like to gaze at my not-overly-handsome face when focused on things, even if it’s just driving.
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Hey, to all the people that like to imagine many women ending up as spinsters:
http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/hh-fam/ms2.xls
90% of women are married by age of 40.
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Plato said a man’s mind experiences extreme pleasure when it achieves mastery/enlightenment of an idea or through sexual gratification.
Women want what they can’t have, they like to complain about a guy’s passion since it gets in the way of the chase.
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”
Take up a hobby that is practical. Such as weight lifting or hunting.
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Finn and Hengest, 90% of women are married by age of 40.
The table that you liked to does show no such a thing.
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There is nothing more attractive than a man who is intensely involved and actively in engaged with his passion, other than a woman. That is a man that has a purpose. Having a purpose is having significance and that is a man worthy of great attention.
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liked = linked. ugh.
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namae:
The papers you want are Bruce Sacerdote’s various pubs and working papers on Korean adoptees compared to the biological kids raised in the same family.
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@Morsellaux,
“”With exception of voodoo areas (magic), what is really going through the chick’s head is: “He does have an emotional aspect!””
It’s not only an emotional aspect. It’s more that when each of us is engaged and actively pursuing our goal and passion we have a “self”. We are actually creating an erotic space between us and the other and THAT is what is attractive and interesting and what draws people to us.
BTW notice I’m being serious here, cause I’m not allowed to be naughty!!hehhe!!
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No matter how much computer knowledge and video game skills work their way into society, they wont work here. Pick a real hobby that you can do in front of her.
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lzozozlzlzolzlzozlzl
my hobby is videogameing civil war reennactments zlozlzozozozoz
hey roiissysys you woud really enjoy this film:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/inside_job_2010/
Genre: Documentary, Special Interest
Synopsis: ‘Inside Job’ is the first film to provide a comprehensive analysis of the global financial crisis of 2008, which at a cost over $20 trillion, caused… ‘Inside ButthexblowJob’ is the first film to provide a comprehensive analysis of the global butthexing financial crisis of 2008, which at a cost over $20 trillion, caused millions of people to lose their jobs and homes in the worst butthex recession since the Great Depression, and nearly resulted in a global financial collapse. Through exhaustive research and extensive interviews with key financial insiders, politicians, journalists, and academics, the film traces the rise of a rogue industry which has butthex corrupted politics, regulation, and academia. It was made on location in the United States, Iceland, England, France, Singapore, and China. ”
lzoozozozlzl zgoldman sax is featurfe throughout it all and they rhye iwth tucker max loslzozlzllzlozozlzoz which si why lneon ladies love da tucker max epic fail zlozzolzlzlzlzozzozzozzl
also this dude is interfveiewed in it–the dude in teh video is teh chair of the columbia busines shcool no lzozlozzlzing!!!!
lzozozozozlz !!!
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Morsellaux, what it does show is that men and women in teh US are now getting married older than than ~ever before and at more or less the same age.
Biggest age differences were at the turn of the last century, which is not surprising. Last time the difference was > 13% was 1964. First single digit difference was ’74. First 6% was 2002.
Birth rate is below replacement level.
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In other news, girls also like furry things and hula hoops, and real men don’t pay too much attention.
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@Unfair
“In other news, girls also like furry things and hula hoops, and real men don’t pay too much attention.”
These are not goals and passions and if they are, then the girl needs to get a life…or she can turn them into a positive goal with significant outcomes. maybe then men may then notice and pay attention
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Hot or Not: composite images of faces
Sample size only ~30. Anyone done a bigger sample?
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I’m a mechanic and repair cars all week. I also part time teach snowboarding to little kids. I really play up the snowboarding instruction even though it is seasonal and very part time. Chicks are always intrigued and want to connect for private lessons. The season is coming…
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Actually, with any looks and game at all, you guys would be AMAZED at the amount of tail to be had while historical reenacting. True, not bar skank eights, but sixes and sevens galore, mostly in corsets (Civil War) or in chain mail (ren faires), and who ALL like to do oddball things. I’ve never been able to get a “normal” woman to have sex in a canoe, in a river, in the snow, or while on top of a horse, for example.
I’ll take a freaky, creative and imaginative six over a norm nine any day!
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what, so … if a man is focusing on video game, is that still a proof of purpose? 🙂
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Orsonroy, or in the box, with a fox.
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Feh, I can read the spreadsheet. What it did not show that 90% of women are married at the age 40 as promised by whatshisname.
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@Orsonroy
You go ahead and do that. Society runs on the backs of your type.
You should all take up poetry, marathon WOW or MMO-RPG parties, you might even meet your soul-mate online and have an E-wedding and I also recommend listening to emotional/indie music.
Chicks love a troubled artist or the emotionally sensitive and in touch with your inner feminine type herbs.
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Another try:
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/grey-divorce-part-ii-census-data-and-the-shifting-sexual-marketplace/
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so true. women love men that are passionate about something.
although i always thought that that’s the case because they love to think (well, the hamster does all the work) that once you fall in love with them you’ll be putting that same passion and attention in the relationship, i.e. in them.
any thoughts?
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@Morsellaux,
“what, so … if a man is focusing on video game, is that still a proof of purpose? :-)”
It could be for some girls, but it wouldn’t turn me on….so there is no erotic space created for me. Unless……somehow he turns the video game playing into some sort of contribution to the greater good of everyone/society. Bill Gates is a good example. He’s a geek that simply love computers. That’s sexy and NO is not about money. Individuals who has a passion…who goes saves the poor, create a school,who works for non profit…etc…alll good purpose.
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Should we assumed that by “grandioso opus” you meant Wonderwall?
Whenever a girl gets back to my apartment and I strum and sing a little bit, it usually has great results. If we’re at her place and she has a guitar laying around, that’s even better. One girl said “My guitar is falling in love with you… No one has touched it like that in so long…” Projection much? Yeah, we had sex after that. While I’m playing, I always look away from her and focus completely on the music.
But a great way I’ve utilized this in other venues is by playing pool. I take it really seriously and ask my date if she’s good enough to be my partner. Once we start playing, I am completely locked into the game. I have laser-like focus on my shots, and usually I play pretty well too. It definitely turns them on.
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vicmackey, true. During the he-can-do-no-wrong period. But when that is over, the women (caveat: in general, outliers exist) start to wonder how come that the passion potential has not been redirected fully on their excellent and sublime personality.
“Its me or the band (bass guitar)!” That was what my brother heard 2 years into the marriage, while previously she was admiration incarnated when he played with the band.
Unfortunately, my bro was a wuss. Pity, he was good at it.
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First off, nothing is going through her head. Second, while engaged in your ‘hobby, you are ignoring her. I don’t need to know why, but when I walk into a room and treat the women like they don’t exist, they’re fascinated and try to get my attention. They don’t impress me much anymore guys, what’s next?
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what, Bill Gates’ “altruism” may have a sinister side.
BTW, do you know that “sinister” is Latin for “left”? Yea, it’s true. Left is sinister.
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Running through zimbabwe with an ak and 3000 rounds.
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Death vajra, CAT scans do show some sort of a brain activity, so what you think it is?
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I kind of enjoyed after harvest climbing to the top of my rice pile.
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all that passion talk has some merit, but in this specific case might be something much simpler. Serious face = no (beta) smirk = attractive.
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If you are gonna live you got to create grow and own some shit.
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Ha ha, could be Something in the synaptic shoe/handbag cortex.
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Great post.
Put yourself and your hobbies and interests over your women and they will want you more. Let them know that you find yourself and your life so much more engaging than spending time with them and they will jump through hoops for you (i.e. anal sex/swallowing).
Uninteresting men don’t get pussy. They get wives.
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Videogames don’t repel women so long as you make no apologies for your interest.
“Yeah, I play videogames. You collect pointless, overpriced handbags. I guess we all have our vices.”
You can sell a person on anything so long as you’re passionate, confident and intelligent about it.
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I do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in a gym with lots of women doing cardio workouts. We actually roll (spar) so they seem to like us more than the guys there just doing girly cardio workouts.
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””””’Uninteresting men don’t get pussy. They get wives.””””
lol Yea I failed that shit test to an extent.
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Yup this post is true, I went over a chicks crib and pullled out my Algerba 106 homework and she was sweating me before I could work my 3rd problem. Now when I go over there house I put music instrumentals on my ipod and write bars while they do their thing.
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@ Morsellaux:
i agree. i was going to add that. one of the reasons sometimes women are so pissed (but turned on) is because they realize that they are not the center of the universe (or of the relationship).
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Video camera, camera, writing scripts and editing them.
Gold.
Must be half of game, having something to impress and distract with.
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@Morsellaux
“Death vajra, CAT scans do show some sort of a brain activity, so what you think it is?”
Neurons slowly breaking down and releasing electric forms of energy that scans sees as activity, it also could be decomposition of blood. I’m sure electrical energy will be stored like a battery if the brain isn’t being used.
Just because your dead doesn’t mean your cells lose energy, people eat dead meat and plants for nutrients/energy.
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they are trying to buy a stock low and cash in high when you make money. take the hint. date fatties and put them on a diet.
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TK, Neurons slowly breaking down and releasing electric forms of energy that scans sees as activity, it also could be decomposition of blood. I’m sure electrical energy will be stored like a battery if the brain isn’t being used.
Are you denying the hamsters???!!!???
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Yes, this post is right-on. I discovered this by accident many years ago. My girlfriend used to treat me like the beta-chump I’d become — putting on weight, ignoring me, cutting me off from sex, refusing oral sex. Cheating on me and giving me the clap. Lying about it. Controlling everything. And lots of disrespect.
And I put up with it. Then I decided I needed a new life plan and put it into action. I applied to grad school, was accepted and got a two-year free ride and money to live on … anyway, the summer before I went, I was ignoring her while reading a book that one of the professors had written … a professor I’d have in a fall class.
Anyway, I’m reading this and out of the blue she picks up the book out of my hand, rips down my shorts and blows me — making sure I came in her mouth.
So, yes, focus on something else. This post is right-on.
I still dumped her. No regrets about that one. But it was a nice BJ. Too bad she hadn’t treated the beta Bill with more respect — then maybe I’d have worked it out with her.
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Or synaptic shoe/handbag cortex? (Thx, Death vajra!)
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Gunslingergregi
””””’Uninteresting men don’t get pussy. They get wives.””””
lol Yea I failed that shit test to an extent.
——————————-
Uninteresting men can also have ex-wives too.
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The few times a guy has played the guitar it has made me very uncomfortable. I don’t get it. What are you supposed to do while he is singing and strumming? Look at him? Smile?
[Editor: Relax. Don’t diss it. When you want to come.]
It’s awkward for me. I never got the whole thing…Sensitive ponytail and all that bullshit…
[Sensitive ponytails not required for guitar playing. Anyhow, I’m not necessarily talking about first or second dates. I could be talking about girlfriends. Expand yo whoreizons.]
However, my husband is very much into finance and very advanced accounting as well as other braniac things and I find it very attractive. I like that I can learn from him and that he is intelligent enough to understand complex systems. So I guess depends on the girl too….what she likes….
[Any hobby will do, as long as it isn’t actively pussy repelling.]
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Maybe you’re right, Editor. I just don’t think it’s for me. But I am naturally awkward around men, so am not a good candidate for what girls like/don’t like.
If the girlfriend likes it I think it is a very sweet thing to do. I just prefer making “going concern” jokes over tender songs.
What hobbies do you think are pussy repellents? Besides booger eating I can’t really think of any. Even an encyclopedic knowledge of MST3k jokes is bound to get a few girls going……(Gamera is really neat. Gamera is full of meat.)
[Editor: you sound like that rare creature, the übernerdgirl. too bad for the übernerdboys that for every 1,000 of them there is only one semi-cute non-obese übernerdgirl.
pussy repellent hobbies:
video gaming
furries
stamp collecting
building a facebook-like website that does not make 20 billion dollars
anime
dr. who
memorizing word for word the first chapter of famous male-oriented novels
the singularity
chemistry sets that don’t make mind-altering drugs
homosexuality
porn reviewer
south park (hate to say it, but most cool chicks who are not gross to look at are not into sp)
crochet
badminton
antiques road show
decorative suits of armor and swords (functional or not. includes light saber)
ninja crap
asian girls (if the pussy being repelled is caucasian)
gadget geekery (no chick really cares that you know what processor the iphone uses)
libertarianism
monty python
right wing talk radio (well, right wing anything, but talk radio is the worst offender)
umlauts (d’oh!)
grammar policing
whittling
railfanning
food eating contests
borderline hobby:
pumpkin catapult
cool hobbies:
anything i do
hth.]
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Passion, stoic masculinity and rugged good looks will lock you down tons of ass.
One of the most common faulty pieces of game advice out there?
‘Smile, if you smile you look fun, and women like fun guys!’
As a neophyte womanizer I heard this and tried it…didn’t see anything really increase, but when I’m walking down the street, cutting through the crowd like a great white shark with a serious look on my face, I get way more necks turning.
(of course there is a time and a place to smile…but it’s not ‘all the time and in any place.’)
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Dream puppy, no, how about listening?
And look, no ponytail!
(that kid is damn effing good!)
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Riding a horse impresses women a lot too.
Not sure about the South Park point – I know a 9 who loves putting on Eric Cartman’s voice. Though it may be a little intellectual for most of them.
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One of the few things the girls liked me for at school were my guitar skillz. Unfortunately my beta shortcomings pretty much nullified whatever advantage it had. Also, take care not to be a massive aspie about your hobbies. Be seen engaging in your hobby/ies but don’t try too hard to be seen, nor talking about them, especially when not appropriate (e.g. using insider jargon with people who neither understand nor care, or scolding people for their ignorance when it doesn’t matter). Be obtuse about your hobby and exploits therein when asked, not approval-seeking.
I wish I knew that through positive experience of what to do and less through a combination of negative experience of what not to do and second-hand knowledge.
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Good comment Riff Dog. That’s exactly what women are thinking.
I don’t think a man playing the guitar with you in the room is awkward and you don’t have to sit there and watch him the whole time. I like it. Having a man sing to you is awkward, though.
Good list CR. I don’t watch South Park, but my husband sometimes does and then he feels the need to recap the whole episode to me. Don’t do that if you want a girl to like you.
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The real differential between hobbies that are attractive and those that are repellent are the hobbies ability to be productive/creative or attaining a level of achievement that gives you some sort of recognition for accomplishment.
Which is why video games are a tingle killer.
Nobody cares that you got the highest score possible in Grand Theft Auto…except for other video game players.
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Feminist theory is the ultimate pussy repellent. If your hobbies include reading books by Gloria steinem et al, you’re done. If you have a degree in women’s studies, you ain’t gettin laid buddy and your date knows it. Better to have a copy of hustler in your bathroom, or better yet, be a serial rapist on death row. They’ll pay your appeal in hopes of scoring some of that.
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guitar? hell no, learn the ukelele!
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Seems like the right time for these links:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904510
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1922691
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1942593
Also, like others I’m curious as to how the list of repellent hobbies was compiled. Not that I disagree! though I’m sorry to see Monty Python up there; it’s more a question of, beyond saying “it’s obvious” how should one know (other than by direct experience) what should/shouldn’t be on the list? What do they all have in common?
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”””””’SN2
Gunslingergregi
””””’Uninteresting men don’t get pussy. They get wives.””””
lol Yea I failed that shit test to an extent.
——————————-
Uninteresting men can also have ex-wives too.
””””””””””’
Well I never fail at being interesting. Wild shit always happens around me.
Was talking about marriage and giving a fuck if she liked what I like or not.
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What if your passion is womanizing?
I definitely several interests above womanizing, but I wonder how it would go over if I told a chick, “I’m a cubicle monkey by day, but my real passion is seducing countless women.”
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Editor: right wing talk radio (well, right wing anything, but talk radio is the worst offender)
I know quite a few chick that love it.
I also had the opportunity to meet some LLL chicks and they loved to be scared by both of my right-wings! I am da bad skeery boy! 🙂
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Having a man sing to you is awkward, though.
That’s because there’s a big difference between a man “focusing on his mission” and practicing singing a song while you’re in the vicinity, versus a man singing TO you. Get the difference?
That of course doesn’t matter either way if he’s like one of those American Idol rejects who thinks he sounds great, but actually can’t sing to save his life.
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Vincent,
Everyone is interested in that.
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My woman doesn’t seem to mind I play games.
When on blog I think she gets excited.
”””’decorative suits of armor and swords (functional or not. includes light saber)
””””
come on man.
The fucking lightsaber owns.
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”””’Vincent Ignatius
What if your passion is womanizing?
I definitely several interests above womanizing, but I wonder how it would go over if I told a chick, “I’m a cubicle monkey by day, but my real passion is seducing countless women.”
””””
That goes over really well counterintuitively for what most people think.
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@Mr. Happy’s Conscious
I also know how to repair a computer and can magically bring most laptops back to life. Although useful, it doesn’t turn on the ladies, so I make a point of never mentioning it.
Also a bad idea to mention for the same reason I own a truck and can help people move is a bad idea.
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”””Which is why video games are a tingle killer.
Nobody cares that you got the highest score possible in Grand Theft Auto…except for other video game players.
””””
I killed a chick on delta force ii like a 100 times in a row she killed me like once.
She gave me her number.
I called but was married and remaining faithfull at the time.
Nowhere near sidewinder angst.
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We might not be attracted to men that can fix computers, but it is definitely nice to have them around. I never have the first clue what to do when something goes wrong.
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God dam I passed up a lot of fucking woman when I was married and in the end the bitch cheated on me.
Fuck maybe why it was so fucking irritating.
If I would have known that shit I could have been fucking like rabbit.
I was in school in san antonio and bitches on my nuts at clubs. Never followed through.
Fort Hood bitches on my nuts.
Bitches think they the only ones giving up opportunity in a monogamous marriage.
bitches be crazy.
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Yea people talk about what a woman loses out on.
I took a mad fucking opportunity cost for pussy hit.
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Gunslingergregi
”””””’SN2
Gunslingergregi
””””’Uninteresting men don’t get pussy. They get wives.””””
lol Yea I failed that shit test to an extent.
——————————-
Uninteresting men can also have ex-wives too.
””””””””””’
Well I never fail at being interesting. Wild shit always happens around me.
Was talking about marriage and giving a fuck if she liked what I like or not.
——————————
Oh, I see. Not saying that you’re not interesting but you’d probably be a lot more interesting if you were single. I think this is just the nature of the situation.
I’ve never been married but I did live with a chick for 4 years. Hands down, the most uneventful years of my life. Boring as fuck. Watching my girlfriend stuff her face with chicken wings, onion rings, ding-a-lings and whatever the fuck else they do while watching American Idol is not a hobby, it’s masochism. Maybe Charles Darwin or NatGeo or the Crocodile Hunter would get a kick out of it but I don’t.
If I ever live with a chick again, I’m going to implement a weekly weigh-in and a mandatory exercise regime.
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what about dudes that are handy fixing things around the house or basic car repair? I think its solid.
I used to bang a hot 24 year old neighbor of mine who lived in a group house next to mine with two other young female roommates. Started off as just neighbors/friends and eventually I slept with the hot one. One time they asked me to come to hammer some nails in the wall to hang some pictures. I came over with my hammer and got it done as they watched. Later she told me how hot I looked while doing it.
thoughts?
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Your mom was derelict in her duty
in instructing you to undo as many buttons
as it takes to get the job done
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When the guy is submerged in his passion to the point of “almost” ignoring you, is what creates that friction that is the erotic space. It has to be just right though. Too much, too little can kill the tension. It’s like starting a fire…you need just the right amount friction to create heat. Too much beta or too little beta or too much alpha or too little alpha can snuff out the fire….if you know what I mean.
Still, a man with any purpose is better than one without.
Morsellaux,
What do you mean by left?
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Derek, thoughts?
None. Fuck away!
On the second though, I think you were admired greatly. A standard practice of women is to hit their nails several time, if they ever hit the nail. Hitting a nail on the first try must seem like a Thor hitting the nail with his Mjöllnir. :p
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Talking about my first marriage I learned my lesson.
he he he
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“Editor: you sound like that rare creature, the übernerdgirl. too bad for the übernerdboys that for every 1,000 of them there is only one semi-cute non-obese übernerdgirl.”
It’s a good evolutionary strategy for thin, attractive girls (who are not knock outs) to get int some form of ubernerd-ism. By placing yourself in a group where men outnumber women, and women are fat and boyish you can garner a lot of attention. It helps if you’re actually interested in the material as well.
I am not so much a sci fi nerd, aside from my love of MST3K and TNG. And Battlestar….
Goddamit.
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Dream Puppy,
It is a good strategy and it is exactly what I did. I remember when I told my aunt I was engaged to my husband she kind of shrugged and said, “Well, you’ll never go hungry.”
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Ok, in what mythical land of magic & wonder do you all live in where chicks dig writers?
Remember, we’re talking about a gender that thinks Twilight is high fucking art.
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what, What do you mean by left?
Sinister. And vice versa. 🙂
Expander: Neo-marxism. A statist totalitarian faith (churches change from time to time depending on circumstances and expediency), with am ample supply of saints (that too change from time to time depending on circumstances and expediency). The main triune godhead is Marx-Engels-Lenin (the last changes from time to time depending on circumstances and expediency), with archangels Gramsci, Marcuse, Alinsky and high priests like Cloward and Piven and Sturmabteilung of Ayers and Dorm, communista organizers like Oh’Bummer and numerous lesser more equal ones, and an army of tools and useful idiots (Credit: V.I.Lenin, he was somewhat honest when he was semi lucid, or when his cohabitant Krupska was not around as there was no reason to drink vodka to blur his vision).
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“Laura
We might not be attracted to men that can fix computers, but it is definitely nice to have them around. I never have the first clue what to do when something goes wrong.”
Yeah, that’s kind of a problem unless you are willing to trade sex for access to my MSDN software library or the concept of a man that can do a bare metal install makes you totally hot.
Sure, it’s useful to know someone like me, it just isn’t on the top ten list of why women sleep with men.
Writing and photography has done me well, but not as much as having a new Porsche and crap load of money in the bank did.
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@Herbal Essence
Ok, in what mythical land of magic & wonder do you all live in where chicks dig writers?
Remember, we’re talking about a gender that thinks Twilight is high fucking art.
Didn’t say you had to be a good writer.
Just one that chicks dig.
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When you get published, it makes a difference.
If you are writing poetry, then yeah, go ahead and slit your wrists now.
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Morsellaux,
Are you drunk? hahhaha!!
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Writers are great! Remember the sex organ is in our minds/head.
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”””having a new Porsche and crap load of money in the bank did.””’
Yea game plus worldwide knowledge minus porsche and crapload of money prob good.
Or I think average money but crapload of time would be pretty good as well.
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And don’t be a writer that writes poetry.
Hasn’t been cool since Blake, and it wasn’t that cool back then.
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I totally dig Malcolm Gladwell and he is definitely NOT good looking, but he is definitely smart and intelligent.
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Herbal Essence
Remember, we’re talking about a gender that thinks Twilight is high fucking art
You mean 13 years olds, right? My 24 years old daughter thought it was absolutely inane.
Speaking of which, she is 8, but has hard time to get boyfriends to committ, her 2nd BF just bailed out as she uttered the M word. She does understand, though, that with the current marriage/divorce laws in place, the boys may have all the reasons to fear the M word almost as a vampire fears garlic.
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Crapload of worldwide contacts.
Crapload of money.
Crapload of time.
Your own personal kingdom to invite special bitches to.
Army of ho’s doing your bidding.
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what, why you think I am drunk? Actually, I wish I were, but have work to do, and it requires all my 2 brain cells. 🙂
I hope I am not breaking rules, verbotten is verbotten.
I have to think of something topical for a coverup. LoL
Lemmesee, Malcolm Gladwell , true, he does look a bit like these fashion craze toy critters some while ago, what were they…trolls!
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Game matters. If not game, then looks, if not looks then assets. Any two of those three is killer.
I just took some very pretty pictures of a lovely sunset at the beach.
That’s nice.
Those pictures were taken from my balcony.
Much nicer.
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Morsellaux,
I’ll be the first to be banned….I have a tendency to break rules…hehehe!!!! I am trying soooooo hard to keep on the topic. I usually like talking about nothing though…that way is more FUN!!!!heheh!! I know…I am naughty and a shit disturber ( my brothers and their friends would agree)!!!!
Malcolm Gladwell does look crazy, but he is smart and most of all interesting. Plus, I really enjoy his books. soooooo interesting. I like information.
and….you are funny! “two brain cells” lol!!!
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Would playing piano be acceptable? I guess guitar is best, but I played 11 years of piano and that’s probably my best bet.
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@mattag08
Piano is good! Those fingers can come in handy!! hee! hee! I think it’s a full moon!!! lol!!!
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Yea ya just wonder sometimes is it worth the effort.
But yea finally someone admitting it might be worth it.
Yea bout to really test my game soon.
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hey you have an amazing future writing cooking blogs
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Let me go plant these magic beans.
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If you plant enough
magic beans in LA
You get Obama
for a 2nd term
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@Morsellaux,
“Speaking of which, she is 8, but has hard time to get boyfriends to committ, her 2nd BF just bailed out as she uttered the M word. She does understand, though, that with the current marriage/divorce laws in place, the boys may have all the reasons to fear the M word almost as a vampire fears garlic.”
Obviously I don’t know your daughter, so forgive me …I am only speculating….If the guy wants to marry you …he’ll ask. I don’t believe in making anyone do anything. I believe in the use of MOTIVATION….It’s much more effective than being direct. Directness has its place and time. It’s not what you say, but how you say it….tone, delivery, appropriate use of words, facial expressions and posture are vital for success. She’s got to make him feel…..She’s got to make him visualize them–WE
hehehe….seeee I’m still on topic!!! ha!
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That may be a reason diplomats and lawyers receive lots of attention from women.
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“swords”
Swords? Does that include fencing? That’s my hobby. Don’t tell me that its a girl repellent.
Also I like the idea of one day building a collection of swords (and guns) with actual knowledge of how to wield them. Would it really repel girls?
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All of these game observations may possibly be reduced to variations on a basic theme. Women are turned on by feeling inferior, hence submissive, temporarily or permanently to a man. If a man clearly values something more than the woman (her presence, her services, or her feelings), she will be turned on.
What precisely he values more than the woman is not particularly important. It can be God, his principles, his cause, even a book he is engrossed in.
I find this constantly in my marriage.
The more I ignore her, for whatever reason, the harder my wife works to impress me.
She has to value your attention (because she feels you are better than her) and you have to make her work for that attention. That makes her want to service you.
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Wow you read my freakin mind. I was recently thinking about what makes my LTR game so solid compared to my normal game, and this is exactly why. Brilliant.
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“Swords”
So where does fencing go under?
Also, if I kinda have thoughts that in the future that I might start collecting swords (and maybe guns). I would imagine it would look cool in a nice hour in the far future, especially if I know how to wield it. It’s a pussy repellent?
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Dreamer, just the opposite, just the opposite. A collection of swords on the wall and casually positioned gun on your desk are almost aphrodisiacal to a chick. It’s bad ass. Especially if you know how to wield it. A chick can “smell it”.
“Is it real?”
“Yea.”
“Can I… hold it?”
You casually drop the clip, remove the ammo, slide the clip back in, check the chamber and hand the gun to her. She holds it an imitates the moves seen on tv.
“Could I .. shoot it?”
You dryly: ” Not here.” Then: ” We could go to a range next saturday… You’d like it, don’t you.”
She is surprised by her vigorous nod. She was always sooo.. anti-gun.
Next on the menu is a great gun sex. 🙂
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I liked the evo psych explanation. Always good to remember the underlying reasons for why Game works in the first place.
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This post reminds me of a quote from a feature (“hot or not”) I once read: “The actor Edward Fox is not hot, except in that scene in “Day of the Jackal” where he takes his shirt off and resprays his car in the woods.”
It’s so true.
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http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/dt1qb/this_is_what_i_think_every_time_i_text_a_chick/
text game discussion on reddit
best quote of the comments:
“smiley face is such a huge step in boy > girl texting. it’s basically like hey babe, i really like you. so i’m gunna be a little gay right here and send you a smiley. then the girl is like fuck yeah i have control over this fella.”
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If you organize an event or host an event…instant DHV.
One other skill chicks love is dancing. They love being “lead”.
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Another factor at play; while you are intensely focused on something, and really into it to the point where you are ignoring her completely, her attention whore button gets punched, making her work for a piece of you.
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It’s really not that complicated. The important thing is to establish mastery in some hobby, activity or interest that is not obviously and stereotypically geeky or passive or feminine. So, no, video games and comicbooks and Family Guy reruns and fantasy football league don’t count, obviously. It’s about mastery of something that is creative (other than writing, because that’s just way overdone, usually, and poetry is far too desperate and feminine in this culture) or involves a good deal of physical activity.
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The other thing about hosting a party or event around your hobby–not only are you DHV..but you’re also busy running around so there are other women who are approaching you.
This has at least two of three the elements of attraction:
1) leader of men
2) pre-selected by women
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@LAURA said:
“It is a good strategy and it is exactly what I did. I remember when I told my aunt I was engaged to my husband she kind of shrugged and said, “Well, you’ll never go hungry.”
I guess the girl has to be intelligent enough to also be aware of the fact that she cannot price herself out of the market, and she her market value is inversely correlated with time. She also wants to get married. Not all women want to, or at least admit the do.
Good on you for being smart. For the record there are lots of very attractive nerds (I would say that if a nerd is attractive enough, he won’t have any problem with the ladies, as many a loose moral girl will throw themselves at anything with a nice face- this is what my husband recalls from college). Especially the loner types that just love to read. If you can find a guy that is into history revisionism you can talk for years…..
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good point.
“Could I .. shoot it?”
Sure lets go down to the basement.
”””’walawala
If you organize an event or host an event…instant DHV.
One other skill chicks love is dancing. They love being “lead”.
”””’
Wala becoming the king of dance.
”””Firepower
If you plant enough
magic beans in LA
You get Obama
for a 2nd term
”””’
Thinking ft lauderdale, miami, texas austin san antonio, ma, pa, ga, nc, sc, dc, kentucky and maybe LA.
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Truer than you know. You see, whenever a Man engages in any leisure activity, passion, hobby, etc. that doesn’t directly benefit his wife/GF it’s always perceived as a waste of time. If she cannot (even subconsciously) realize a tangible result that benefits her – or by way of her, the “family” or the “relationship” – your effort is pointless and frivolous in contrast with engaging her, entertaining her or relating with her.
That said, you can stretch this association quite a bit. If you enjoy playing basketball after work with friends or hitting the gym, there is a benefit to her – your improved health, better looks, less fat, etc. so the “hobby” is more tolerable. Golf is a rich man’s sport where deals are made on the course, so that’s approved too. You could even make the case that playing X-Box helps you decompress after a hard day at work, but this is less tolerable than something that has tangible benefits or at least the association of benefits. There is a kind of hierarchy of leisure activities, hobbies, passions, etc. that women rank based on how it relates to themselves and the social perceptions that are associated with it. For instance, I’m an artist. I hold a BFA and I use my talents in my line of work as well as for my own personal pleasure. If I’m painting wildlife, portraiture, or something of “substance” that impresses people, this is a form of social proof that my wife will happily endorse because she enjoys being associated with it, even if it’s vicariously through me. However, if I thought my true calling was to illustrate manga or draw cartoons, she would be less supportive of that incrementally depending on our peer group, social perceptions, her personal perceptions and of course mitigated by financial costs, etc.
Sometimes it’s not so much the activity as it is the perception of that activity. Playing WoW or X-Box brings nothing to the table for her and it isolates her, therefore it would be ranked the lowest. This is an easy illustration. It gets far more complicated when a guy’s life passion is music, art or sports.
You have to learn how to mediate this in an LTR. It’s actually a fantastic opportunity to maintain the frame within an LTR if you have the wherewithal to endure her protests. I have a LOT of passions and interests that I enjoy. Some directly benefit my wife, others don’t, but the moment I give one up, I surrender, that’s the moment she loses respect for my authority as a Man. I fully acknowledge there are interests I have that Mrs. Tomassi despises, but were to go “OK honey, you win, I’ll stop it with such and such” I lose prominence.
Nothing irks me more than the AFC husbands who abdicated their authority and prominence by ceasing things that they loved prior to marriage and then tell me how “thankful” they are that they married a woman who “allows” him to watch Hockey occasionally on the little TV set they have in their bedroom (not the giant widescreen he paid for in the living room). If guys are obsessively playing fantasy football or world of warcraft in preference to banging their wives, I think the first place to start is with the wife. Most often it’s a referendum on her.
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of course being a pro-athlete is best.
I read somewhere that statistically famous pro-athletes (ex: cristiano ronaldo) get the most ass there is, even more than rock-stars or some hollywood stars.
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though being a crooner (ex: Tom jones) is right up in there too.
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novaseeker, it sounds kinda desperate. I mean discarding things you may like for sake of what some bitches may think… I am not sure that is really way to go, where it then ends? I’d say eff them. Keep whatever flies your fancy, perhaps add something which implies masculinity that you can flaunt for the proper situational frame.
Gun, the basement may not be a good idea. You need a good absorber (Maybe an elk you got a day before!). Else bullets tend to ricochet when shot against concrete walls. 🙂
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http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1942593
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Yeah, well.
Don’t make an ass of yourself.
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and they all kind of said
true romance
is dead
hot
Actually, yer both kind of smart – since you both stated posting together, i dont know how you both figured out how to stop my facial hair from growing.
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Rollo
Well and truly said.
I’d only add the caveat that if your wife has abandonment issues, any hobbies that isolate you — however good you are at them and however praised you are by others for them — will not help your LTR game with her.
The workaround is easy: now and then, paint her, sing to her, invite her to art things, etc. Throw her a bone. If your excellence ends up making you both look good, and doing this doesn’t cost you anything, you win.
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The least hot hobby you could have?
Blogging about how you hate all women online. Lower than the civil war gamers, kiddo.
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I’m wondering what you guys think girls make of guys who are really, really into golf?
I think golfing is cool and all, it’s a hard game and you get to walk around briskly (unless you’re carting it) and be out in nature. But all in all, I think it’s something I’d rather do when I’m too old to do high-adrenaline and more dangerous sports.
In my social group, I’ve noticed that golf seems to be gravitated to by the more beta, marriage material men who are usually more cautious and bland. Also, these are guys who solely rely on money game and jump through hoops for their women and those they wanna bang. These same guys look at me like I’m crazy whenever I start up a conversation with some random girl who’s happens to be around us.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll golf, but I’d much rather go downhill mountain biking or snowboarding and have the opportunity to maybe hurt myself in the process. There’s something to be said for the element of danger in your hobbies and I think guys who have these hobbies and interests have a much more outgoing personality and this comes through when dealing with girls.
Golf has none of that and I think overall, I’ll get into it once I’m older, have a paunch or gunt and have resigned myself to being a shadow of my former self.
Till then, I’d rather hurl myself down the side of a mountain at breakneck speeds and accumulate some scars.
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”””’Gun, the basement may not be a good idea. You need a good absorber (Maybe an elk you got a day before!). Else bullets tend to ricochet when shot against concrete walls. :-)”””
Naa they really don’t.
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SN2 – that’s an interesting comment
I find in IRL and the UK, golf is often played by more traditional marriagey type guys, not necessarily beta types but not totally alpha either, somewhere in between i guess!
so i wouldn’t say it would damage your prospects in a woman’s eyes to mention you’re into golf…
it’s rugby that’s the real status game in these parts
as most people that play (especially as you go up the ranks) come from financially well off backgrounds and are often well connected in financial/banking/legal circles…
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Or at least not enough for us to notice or care.
he he he
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Now bb guns richochet bad.
7.62 not so much lol
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“I think golfing is cool and all, it’s a hard game and you get to walk around briskly (unless you’re carting it) and be out in nature.”
Walking around briskly is cool – if you’re like fucking 80+ years old like my dad.
You will never max out your endorphin rush by briskly walking. So you’re getting minimal health and mood lift benefits at best.
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“Editor: you sound like that rare creature, the übernerdgirl. too bad for the übernerdboys that for every 1,000 of them there is only one semi-cute non-obese übernerdgirl.”
That’s a fine combination if you don’t mind the autistic kids.
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Playing guitar for girls works better in social circles, where there are girls competing for your attention. That changes the entire social dynamic and vibe and allows you to project charisma out the wazoo.
One-on-one? Meh. It’s kinda try-hard in my opinion, shooting fish in a barrel.
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”””’Walking around briskly is cool – if you’re like fucking 80+ years old like my dad.””’
lol wtf jb
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@Finn and Hengest
Hey, to all the people that like to imagine many women ending up as spinsters…
90% of women are married by age of 40.
Thanks for the link to my Grey Divorce post. This is a really complex question. It is true that roughly 90% of white women in their early 40s the US today have married. But this doesn’t tell us what will become of younger women. Women in their 20s today are making very different choices than the women now in their 40s made 20 years ago. At the same time many have pointed to the dramatic decline in the number of marriages per 1,000 unmarried women. A lot of data is being thrown around without being understood. I’ve tried to untangle this in a post I just wrote titled Marriage strike?
The other question is how one defines spinster. A woman who spends her later years alone after divorcing might not feel all that different than a woman who spends her later years alone but never walked down the aisle. This is what I had in mind when I coined the term post marital spinsterhood, and it is the dirty secret buried in all of the grey divorce fanfare.
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Chateau, much of what you write are pearls of wisdom. But this bit of evo-psych garbage is not one of them. Why do women like it when men have a serious side to them?
A man with a serious side to him is a man with a purpose and in this, he is most likely to have the single element that women find sexy in men… respect. Respect is the reason why the spectrum in men that women find sexy extends from thugs at one end of the continuum to success at the other (thugs representing “cheap” success).
Please… cut the evolutionary psych garbage. You do yourself a disservice. There are no “success” or “provider” genes that are being “selected for” via natural selection. Women find respectability sexy in and of itself, in all its purity, for the simple reason that that kind of respectability is closed off to them. The provided-for sex earns respectability within an entirely different realm. Respectable men are sexy to women for the very same reason that we, as men, enjoy the company of respectable, honourable men, men of achievement.
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@Morse
“Gun, the basement may not be a good idea. You need a good absorber (Maybe an elk you got a day before!). Else bullets tend to ricochet when shot against concrete walls. :-)”
No, actually they tend to spin along concrete walls like a top, particularly hollow points if the bullet doesn’t fail structurally.
Never lean up against a hard wall in a gunfight.
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Morsellaux said:
“Death vajra, CAT scans do show some sort of a brain activity, so what you think it is?”
I think you should have scanned the woman’s brain not the cat one. Of course in the cat brain there is activity.
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Anonymous, LOL!
My cat bears a witness to your comment!
MRI scans are better at finding traces of the brain activity, and indeed, the last word is that women’s brains do display some indications that something is going in their cranial cavities. What is not so certain is what actually these activities represent. 🙂
But truth to be told, the women’s brain activity is no longer in the realm of urban myths, despite snopes not yet having acknowledged the discovery. 🙂
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Roissy, why are you such a cynical bastard?
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Your hobbies don’t matter if you’re atractive/have game. Anyone who forgoes actual fun becuase “women don’t like it” is a fucking faggot.
Case in point…would you refrain from banging a genuine hottie because she has a copy of Twilight on her shelf?
No, you wouldn’t. And a chick isn’t going to turn down a guy she’s attracted too just because he’s into something that she’s not. It’s all in how you present yourself.
(Also: Civil War re-enactors are mostly old dudes, the younger guys in those circles generally do fine. Roissy plies his game in the wonderland of scumbags and gun bans known as DC, where such things are certainly frowned upon… but in America, re-enactment is perfectly alright. And goth chicks love swords, just FYI.)
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[…] – “The Forager/Farmer Thesis is Wrong“, “Why So Serious?“, “Fat and Happy Girl is Fat and Happy“, “Compare and Contrast: Two Bitter […]
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So true, playing guitar and composing have worked for me. And the best thing, it’s not bluffing, I’m really into it since I was a kid
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