Mingus comments:
The drummer in a band I was in when I was younger thought it would be a good idea to buy his hot girlfriend a bass so they could “jam” and spend more time together, since he was always with us 4 nights a week. After a few months in the garage she got “okay” and decided to start her own band with some other hot chicks. They were terrible, but they were hot and dressed slutty – imagine a bad punk rock version of the bangles, but unlike the bangles they were all equally as hot as susanna hoffs (drummers GF kinda looked like her). Like an idiot he tried to help them out by starting to book shows with the “new hot chic band” opening up for us. We had a pretty good local draw, but after a few gigs the new hot chic band started to get more and more attention (duh) from the bookers because they could pack the joint….big surprise. Next thing you know hot chic band are headlining weekends and getting the calls to open for the bigger touring acts and he eventually becomes the over protective BF/roadie loading her ampeg 8×10 bass cab at each show and making sure no one tries to fuck her. Of course over time she dumps his sorry ass because of her new found rockstardom and his diminished higher value even though he was pretty much the reason she got there. Common hobbies=bad idea.
Hilarious. And I have similar horror stories I could tell about men I’ve known who bent over backwards to help their girlfriends realize their own dreams a little too successfully.
Helping to raise your girlfriend’s social status above your own is akin to a fat chick helping her equally fat boyfriend lose weight and learn game while she stays fat. You are shooting yourself in the foot. Every time you encounter one of these sanctimonious beta bitchboy turds crowing about the love and support he gives to his girlfriend or wife to, say, get through medical school, laugh in his face because he is in for a rude awakening when she starts boffing a doc during her late night residency shifts.
The crux of the matter is that women do not desire men of equal status. They desire men of higher status than themselves. It’s academic from where your status accrues; it could come from game, money, looks, wit, humor, artistic talent, popularity, social savviness or stone cold aloofness. As long as you are higher status than her on some important evolutionarily circumscribed metric, her veins will course with lust for your animal magnetism.
Maxim #1a: Women desire men of better quality than themselves.
When you think you are doing good by your woman to help her achieve career success or to lift up her social standing, you are in reality clumsily playing with the hellfires of the Underlord of Biomechanics. You do not fuck with the primal forces of female hypergamy without paying a steep price in consequences.
There are a few caveats.
If the realization of her goal won’t raise her status above yours, *and* it won’t put her in the company of a lot of high status men for long stretches of time, then feel free to support her. If she wants to be a day care operator, and you are a high flying salesman, earn brownie points by encouraging her to pursue her dream.
If her goals and dreams are precious little musings that you know she won’t see through to achieving, then feel free to support her.
If her goal is a threesome with you and a lithe young chick, support the shit out of her. But make it seem like you’re being dragged into participating.
I never thought of things that way. Great post.
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To take it further, she should be supporting the man’s goals.
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Gold.
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Sounds more like game fail, sudden beta onset syndrome.
Lot’s of hot chicks out there are dating guys that are just some dude. Shakira was with the same guy for 11 years and just dumped him for not wanting kids. I am pretty sure that time line puts him in a pre-fame relationship start timeline. He managed to be with her for 11 years and still not want kids.
No dread, clinging, those are the relationship killers. Women will always have higher status because there’s always a market for poon (see e.g., the 30 stone chick who got pregnant). And any good looking female will be approached by many men throughout the course of an average day, including higher status men.
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If you ever watch American Idol, take a look at the female contestants’ husbands or boyfriends in the audience, beaming supportively. Poor saps, about to lose their girl.
On the other hand, why not look at things positively. I’m sure when that cute blonde from Oklahoma tried out for Season 4, and assuming there was a boyfriend, this soon-to-be-dumped small-town boy had no idea that one day he’ll be going around and thinking with a smirk: “Heh, Tony Romo and Mike Fisher, I butthexed Carrie Underwood way before you did! and she was younger hotter tighter too”
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“Maxim #1a: Women desire men of better quality than themselves.”
so true….actually it’s so true that my grandma said something of that sort back in college when I was complaining that I got no dates, she heard me and you know what she said?
“Of course it’s gonna be difficult to find a hot college girl, they want the guy with the career who has a sportscar, what do you have? go for highschool girls” not kidding….
a story similar to that a guy I met in Uni who had 4 kids,was in his 30s, divorced and studying accounting (careerchange) while doing IT gigs on the side. I asked him what happened and that’s the brief story:
He got her knocked up when they were both 20, being of italian decent he folded to family pressure and got married. He started his own small IT-support firm, and for 5-6 years worked hard on building it up while his wife had other babies and worked small part-time temp jobs. to make a story short, he felt that the company was growing and needed someone to handle the sales so he got his wife in as a sales manager while he managed the operations.
his wife followed certifications courses on the side and became a very good salesperson and then after some years decided to go back to school to get an MBA, which he encouraged. With her MBA in hand (he had a technical college degree in IT, not even a bachelor) she started networking with big hot shot clients and bringing in big businesses to the firm. to make a long story short, she cheated on him with baller senior manager in some big firm who was her client, she then told him she wanted a divorce and that she wanted to dissolve the firm and take her share of clients to the new company. She event went to court to force him to do that, he was ordered to sell the firm, and now he’s back in school learning accounting!
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Women desire men of better quality than themselves
Hairsplitting: women desire a man of superior status, intelligence, and accomplishment. Men desire a woman of superior beauty, youth and virtue.
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@quetal
I’m assuming she got the kids?
Honor is a male concept. Women are weak and desperate at all times in their life. Men really need to have this drilled into their heads.
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Golden advice.
A friend of mine was screwed many years ago in the same way. He married his college girlfriend shortly after graduation. She was planning on starting law school that Fall. He spent the next three years “supporting” her and even paid the portion of tuition that wasn’t covered by her scholarship. What did this hard earned work earn him? A divorce. She moved out the day after she graduated to live with one of her professors, a family law guy.
Apparently she had learned in law school that in the state they resided she would have no obligation to pay alimony even though she contributed absolutely no income to into the marriage and the husband had paid tens of thousands into her tuition. To top it off, she had taken out some students loans unknown to him and maintained those funds in a separate account with only her name on it. Despite this a judge found that those funds were marital property because she testified she used it for joint living expenses. (In actuality she used it for a spring break trip with the girls where she bopped two different guys and a lot of designer clothes.)
So what did three years of supporting his wife get this beta provider? 40% of her debt, 60% of his retirement, and 60% of his savings. (Don’t worry the battle axe wielding feminist judge showed compassion by making the distribution 60/40 in his favor to compensate for the fact he paid her tuition.) Oh and he got stuck with part of her legal tab too. You know who represented her? The family law prof. So, the beta provider served as nothing more than both a convenient scholarship and loan repayment service.
I lost contact with the friend a few years back, but I did hear that eventually an appeals court benchslapped the trial judge for her ruling. I don’t know if on remand he got a better deal, but I would hope for the sake of humanity he did.
Moral of the story. 1) Don’t get married, 2) If you get married keep separate finances, 3)make a spouse fund her own education either through her savings or loans solely in her name, 4) or better yet get a pre-nup.
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@The End
Goddamn that’s a disgusting story.
What a fucking pig cunt worthless sack of shit bitch. The kind you hope is raped and killed in an alley way.
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Na she gave him joint custody. 4 kids, too much to handle!
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I was hinting at this in the previous thread; it’s all about the feminized AFC ideal that the more a man sublimates his ambition, his passion, his imperative, the more “supportive” he believes he’s equated with by his sacrifice. It’s Cap’n-Save-A-Ho writ large.
The major damage is done when a chump invests himself, his life, his opportunities and his ego into the mistaken belief that any woman could ever appreciate his sacrificial “supportiveness” much less reciprocate it. Men who mold their identities after supporting women’s bloated entitlement schemas are truly lost. Unplugging this type of guy from the Matrix takes major surgery because, essentially, he’s ego-invested in his belief in supportiveness and has bet any future happiness on his woman’s capacity to appreciate it. He literally has no other choice but to believe he’s right.
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Funny how the “he’s beneath me” epiphany causes them to fall out of “love”. Best to just cheat on them all the time. Fuck their sisters. Hell, fuck their mothers too. Fuck her sister then fuck her mother without washing in between then fuck her and make her taste it all without ever washing then stick your dick in her dad’s beer for letting his wife give birth to more than 1 daughter. Every sick power hungry compulsion, just follow.
When she fucks you in court at least you’ll know you deserve it.
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If her goal is a threesome with you and a lithe young chick, support the shit out of her. But make it seem like you’re being dragged into participating.
Damned right. You’re obliging her and being *generous*.
That’s how it works.
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That Carri Underwood chick – all sweetness and farmgirl cornpone until she grasps fame.
Then, nothing but Dallas Cowboy Quarterback cock is fit for her.
Her lame, bumpkin bf who had to put up with her dreams – surely forgotten now.
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The End–
Keeping separate finances is a good idea in e.g. controlling her expenditures but other than that sort of thing it’s of little use in divorce unless there was a prenup. It is important when living together.
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All women at all times are a black hole for resources…
So much so that their number one concern at all times is tapping a man, the system… and perhaps other lovers, too.
The idea that it’s better to give than receive is purely a male notion.
Anytime you build up a woman’s human capital* consider it burnt money.
* Cosmetic Dentistry
* Plastic surgery
* Further education of any type
* A business ‘hobby’
* A McMansion
All of them work to hype her upgrade tempo and terminate the good times.
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American women are world-class bitches. No doubt.
But, in an odd way, a guy could STILL put up with her if she retained some femininity.
The fatal flaw of American/Western/Modern women is not so much that their bitches. It’s that there’s no femininity left.
That’s the death blow.
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Well said, Blert.
Don’t “hype her upgrade tempo.” That makes her masculine and uppity.
Femininity gone.
Good times gone.
For everyone.
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Rollo Tomassi-
This is one of the cruelest of the cruel lies that are perpetuated upon men.
Lie: Women want a man who is supportive of her goals and ambitions.
Truth: Women desire men who make them want to sublimate their own goals and ambitions for his.
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I don’t really think it is that big of a deal to support her in something. As Mingus said this band was terrible anyway. It was probably amusing to watch them trying to put together a song and actually play real instruments.
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@the end
of all the careers that a man could support his wife towards, lawyer has got to be the absolute worst possible fucking one on earth.
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Me-
I look back on all of the relationships that I have had and I can honestly say that had I cheated on all of these girls I would feel better about myself today. Only one of them outright cheated, but with the rest of them, almost without exception, there was always some sort of nagging feeling that they were doing shit they weren’t supposed to be doing.
it’s funny because the one chick I can’t seem to get rid of after years of knowing her is the chick that I was seeing casually when I banged her best friend. She didn’t speak with me for a few months, and she still brings up how much of an asshole I am for having had sex with her friend, but even after all of that she offered to let me move in with her indefinitely when I mentioned that I might be looking for a place to stay temporarily.
Treat a whore like a queen and a queen like a whore? Nah….treat ’em all like whores and they will love you for it.
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Standard economics
Men make money with their mind, women make money with their body.
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um dude, ever actually hear Rihanna sing? She sounds like she’s butchering rabbits.
Success in music is all about a woman’s looks.
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Luckily she’s still in school.
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@doug1
It depends upon the jurisdiction, but in most states, that aren’t community property jurisdictions, if funds are never co-mingled and there was no intention to co-mingle them they are not marital property. Even then, in some community property states these funds are also not considered to be marital property.
Keep your accounts, credit cards, and investments separate. Never put your spouses name on them as that will almost always make them marital property. Any money meant for your children, say for further education, should be invested into a trust in their name only with restrictions that allow it not to be touched until 18 so that way if the spouse takes the kid she can never touch that money (16 is OK in some jurisdictions).
The only joint account you should maintain is a simple checking account. Determine a distribution of household expenses each partner will pay, then after all the monthly bills are tallied each party transfers the proper amount to cover those bills. Bills are then paid for out of this account and it should be left with only the minimal balance allowed to keep it open.
Never let your spouse see your bank statements or other financial documents. Never look for hers unless you suspect she is defrauding you personally. Have them sent to a PO Box or to the office. Keep them in a safe deposit box.
Want to buy a house? Either do it with your funds only paying for everything, or come up with a distribution both parties will be expected to pay for the down payment and mortgage. Document any deviations in payment, like if your spouse says she doesn’t have the cash for a month, and make it know she will need to pay the balance in the future. Each party should finance and maintain their car separately. Do not put both on any title, except the house if you are paying jointly.
This way if she splits, she has no claim to any of your accounts, can’t rack up the joint credit cards before separation (those a joint obligation), or stick you with her student loans. When it comes to the house you have rock solid documentation on how much each party put in from independent sources and thus how much each party has a claim to the equity in it.
A pre-nup is also a good idea, but unfortunately, it must be something about getting one that sours any marriage. Almost universally everyone I know who got a pre-nup ended up getting divorced. It was like signing one guaranteed a divorce. I really don’t have an explanation for this, it is just an observation.
Plus, you could end up having to give your spouse more under a pre-nup than you would if you just maintained individual finances. After 10-15 years, most courts will stop enforcing pre-nups as the public policy rationale supporting them is to prevent gold diggers from profiting. If you have been married 20 years and have a bunch of kids, the pre-nup no longer holds a lot of weight since it isn’t supported by this rationale anymore.
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MACHO CAMACHO-
Nailed it.
This is why even if the divorce laws were fair, I would still refuse to marry a western chick.
I’ve been trying to drill this into guy’s heads for years. There are SO many subtle mannerisms that these women lack. Even if she isn’t one of those sacks of shit who belches in front of you, 95% of western women are devoid of feminine grace and charm.
The presence of femininity makes a man feel ALIVE. These soulless harridans that we are forced to deal with on a daily basis make you feel like sticking a pencil in your eye.
My last g/f was submissive, which is one component of femininity. It was fun at first but after spending a little time with her, her lack of femininity started to became apparent. 8+ on the beauty scale? Check. Submissive personality? Check. Able to control her alcohol/smoking/drug habits? Um…..no…..
This is the thing that attracts me most to the idea of spending time overseas. I want to be around women who want to be women. Women around here want to compete with men. I need women who compliment me, not women who battle me to usurp my power.
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@Firepower
Dead on.
Rihanna – Squeaky hamster voice. Nails on blackboard sound better. Great ass.
Dolly Parton – squeakly hamster voice. Enormous tits.
Britney Spears – squeaky hamster voice. Schoolgirl fantasy.
Christina Aguilera – better voice, but annoying wannabe jazz/blues singer. Porn-star fantasy.
Madonna – squeaky hamster voice. Blasphemous Madonna whore fantasy. Has seat reserved in deepest pit of Hell.
Olivia Newton-John – squeaky hamster voice. Got “physical.” Then got old. Life’s a bitch.
I could go on and on, but what’s the point?
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@me
Yeah it’s an horrific story, but it also unfortunately isn’t an aberration. I have seen this too many times before, especially among older men when the societal norm was men would provide, women would would reproduce.
These guys have their guts ripped out when their spouses of 10-20 years leaves them for no good reason and then treats him like the scum of the earth. Then he gets raped by the family court system, loses his life savings, 2/3 of his paycheck, and never gets to see his kids. No wonder even after 10 years a ton of divorced guy I know still can’t get their lives together.
If I had time I would tell you the story about a guy I know who now lives in a room on the shitty side of town, while his wife has two brand new cars, a live in boyfriend, and the kids just happen to have doctor or dentist appointments when it is “his” Saturday.
It is my sincere hope that when the Great Roll Call happens the architects of this scheme have to pay for all the damage they have done to civilization.
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Good Luck Chuck –
Your quote:
“This is the thing that attracts me most to the idea of spending time overseas. I want to be around women who want to be women. Women around here want to compete with men. I need women who compliment me, not women who battle me to usurp my power.”
Spot on. But get moving. The Dark Side wants to destroy all traces of femininity the world over. The clock is ticking, my friend. (sorry to say)
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One of the first things in becoming a Man is to obviate flights of fancy in serious discussions.
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If the realization of her goal won’t raise her status above yours, *and* it won’t put her in the company of a lot of high status men for long stretches of time,
A friend of mine came happily to tell me his GF got an internship in court (both had law degrees, but he had already finished). So we got this young hottie, still a law student, working with 100 judges, four fifths of whom were men.
This friend of mine is probably among the most alpha freinds I got. He had already fucked a couple female judges, and told me he knew most judges had either erectile disfunction or were downright disinterested in women (though not necessarily gay)
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the great irony is that femininity was destroyed by….feminism.
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@The End
Your quote:
“It is my sincere hope that when the Great Roll Call happens the architects of this scheme have to pay for all the damage they have done to civilization.
Don’t worry, dude. You will get your wish.
Romans 12:19 assures it:
“Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.
I’ve heard it paraphrased many times, by good people, (when speaking of the “Great Roll Call” as you say). Romans 12:19 is always there:
TAKETH NOT REVENGE. ** I ** WILL REPAY….
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Maxim #1a (corrected): Women desire men of better quality than themselves so they suck all they can out him him, then kick him to the curb for the next sucker (with his kids, child support, alimony and the house in tow).
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@Firepower
Your quote: (in reference to The End.)
“One of the first things in becoming a Man is to obviate flights of fancy in serious discussions.”
You are WRONG. The first Alpha is God. That’s why the first thing He says is, “I am the ALPHA….”
You cannot deny that great evil has been perpetrated upon us. We were born into shit. We got played. BADLY.
Yes, it is very Alpha to just DEAL WITH IT.
But cosmic justice has a way of coming around. The revenge is most definitely coming. Not from Beta Chumps, but from a *very* pissed off Alpha Number One….
That’s NOT a flight of fancy. It’s coming. In fact, it’s ALREADY coming, as millions of deer-caught-in-the-headlight American women are finding out right about now.
Karma’s a bitch.
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I’d also add women are useless when you are hunting for a job.
If you are out of work, then she likely has higher status than you and won’t respect you. If she doesn’t respect you, she likely won’t answer the call, let alone stick her neck out to help.
Men benefit from having a large network (“Genghis Khan” effects) and every guy you help is added to the network of people that can help you. A lot of times a guy gets in trouble and a chorus of men step forward to defend him or help him. Women lack this altruistic desire or ability to help.
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MACH CAMACHO said: “Romans 12:19 assures it: ‘Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.'”
And not just that… (at least in the Gospel according to Quentin Tarantino)
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@Good Luck Chuck
“There are SO many subtle mannerisms that these women lack. Even if she isn’t one of those sacks of shit who belches in front of you, 95% of western women are devoid of feminine grace and charm.
The presence of femininity makes a man feel ALIVE. These soulless harridans that we are forced to deal with on a daily basis make you feel like sticking a pencil in your eye.”
That’s poetry man. Though it is worse than 95% in the coastal regions of the US. Most dudes I know have never experienced the presence of femininity, and so they don’t know any better.
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@LUPO
QUOTE: “Most dudes I know have never experienced the presence of femininity, and so they don’t know any better.”
Outstanding point. The reason you see very decent guys with fat, ugly wives is they think that’s the best they can do.
Think John Edwards and his whale from Hell. Got so obese she gave herself breast cancer. The media declared her a saint, but everyone who worked with her knew the truth. She was a screaming fiend from Hell. “Fuck” “shit” and “I’ll ruin you” were part-and-parcel of her daily lexicon. Johnny Boy was AFRAID of her. Ask the campaign staff. Read the campaign trail books. It’s all there.
Johnny was a beta boyat heart, but he was famous, which gave him Alpha status. He responded by boinking his videographer, fathering a lovechild, and ruining his reputation, marriage, Presidential, Vice-Presidential, or Attorney General dreams. Then there’s the sex-tape.
Incredibly, he’ll wind up marrying this psychogirl so she won’t testify against him in court. Un-friggin’ believable these people.
By the way, never trust fat people. Ever. They lie so much to themselves, they’ll lie to you in less than a heartbeat.
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The inherent problem in this very true maxim is that men will always be better than their girlfriends or wives. In order to keep the woman happy, he must be higher status, which by definition means that he’s deserving of a better woman than her.
As others have put it, if a man wants a no-drama relationship, he will have to settle for a girl about 2 points beneath him.
Who the hell wants to settle just to keep peace in the house?
If bitches expect me to be better than them, then be better I will, but they will not get a shred of commitment, money, or supplication from me. They are worth nothing but a pump and dump if they aren’t realistic about their long-term worth (or should I say long-term liability for the man – a woman is a depreciating asset).
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What do you do when, say, she want to pursue her goals that will attain higher status and you won’t help?
Inevitably you’ll get called by her on being non-supportive.
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BTW, trading up goes back at least as far as Hamlet.
If you recall…
The King is murdered ( poison ) and his Queen jumps into his brother’s bed — now that he’s King.
As Hamlet lamented: the funeral meats did last until the marriage feast!
—–
The common, female oriented, TV fare hypes this trade-up process. Show by show, the gals can bang their clits watching an endless series of Alphas in fantasy worlds.
After enough of that ‘doping’ every marriage in America is ruined.
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There are a lot of things I agree with on this blog but this post is definitely not one of them. If she were a high quality female, she’d be with him regardless of her socioeconomic status. It is the fact that he is a beta male or a loser with no future that she left him. Moreover, she probably never gave a shit about him anyways. Whether he supported her dreams is irrelevant, he was going to lose her sooner or later.
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Women are RISK assets.
The problem is less amortization than watching the dynamic blow up.
It’s her risk that makes it folly to marry an attorney.
——
If you’re lucky enough to hook up with a Queen Bee…
Live separate lives and just screw.
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Without DREAD you’re fucked from the get-go because simply getting a quality boyfriend will raise a girl’s status.
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Is there a compiled list of Roissy Maxims anywhere? I would love to etch them to the insides of my eyelids.
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Modern ‘feminism was HUGELY supported by Moscow: the First Directorate of the KGB.
Bezmenov spelled this out. ( Google him )
The KGB’s #1 concern was tearing down Western Values across the board.
When a bunch of ugly, harpy dykes with bone to bitch ginned up feminism — it meshed perfectly with Central’s campaign.
Using one cut-out after another, it was supported and stroked.
Of course, in their own private lives, the Commies would have nothing to do with feminism, which is an abortion.
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If you strip people of their moral sense, then you can do ANYTHING to them.
Mission. Accomplished.
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I bought my girlfriend a ukelele. She’s not going anywhere with that thing.
This piece touches on something else I’d never thought of. Status is not mutually exclusive to either the man or a woman in a relationship. The thing that keeps women around can come from either themselves or their man.
But men are in a position of weakness in that the thing that we want – hot tail – can only come from women. No option for men to organically develop the thing that we desire. Yet.
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“not sure if like”…
on one hand, yes, there’s a rational part in it. On the other:
first, as we many times discussed, social status doesn’t have that much to do with pecking order-ish, primal status. So as someone pointed out, could be just regular betaization/loss of game on the part of dude in the comment.
second, this is a wrong, providery, mindset to begin with. If she’s too dependent on you, she’ll be clingy, yet still think about getting it on with some dude “who doesn’t count”. So you’d have to mate guard, invest, etc, etc. Where you want to be, you should be more worried about them not getting too attached.
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Feminism (and, along the way, today’s hypergamy mess) ‘splained in cartoon form:
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chuck
The thing that keeps women around can come from either themselves or their man.
not if you’re doing it right.
just as “hot tail” for men can only come from women, its counterpart for women can only come from men. moreover, that counterpart is an all-consuming experience for the woman, engulfing her whole mind and emotional center along with her body, and as such is both rarer and exponentially more powerful than is “hot tail” for men.
think: consider women who get more-than-enough of “the thing” “from themselves” … does their innate desire to chase that fulfillment, that non-equivalent equivalent of “hot tail” decrease? does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
or does it explode?
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This also violates Law of Power #2: Never Put Too Much Trust In Friends, Learn How To Use Enemies
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Another Gold sentence at the end!
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itsme
@the end
of all the careers that a man could support his wife towards, lawyer has got to be the absolute worst possible fucking one on earth.
Guaranteed death! Stay away from women lawyers at all costs. Hve met 2 out of maybe a thousand that seemed human… maybe…
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A gift: Chloe Coscarelli
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@Migue
“Another Gold sentence at the end!”
Gold comments, all.
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Edwards was a piece of garbage. His wife got fat because she took fertility drugs after their son was killed in that auto accident, which likely also gave her breast cancer.
A man is not defined by how many women he bangs alone (that’s how women judge men, not how men judge men). A certain honor is order. At least zipping your pants while your dying spouse is alive. Its not too much to ask.
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A man with a wife and family who shtups other women is a louse. A married woman who betrays her family is a traitor.
If you want to shtup around. Don’t marry.
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I dated a girl who used to hate giving me blowjobs. She would almost roll her eyes, and she’d have a let’s-get-this-shit-over-with attitude. And she never swallowed. She would nearly always fuck the orgasm up, because she’d be trying to block it, or prepare to spit it out, or whatever.
Then, I got a bump up in status – I won’t say how. But something in my professional life happened, and she found out online (but she pretended not to know). I never told her either.
With precise syncronicity, she started calling me more, the eye-rolling shit stopped, she just oozed love for me – and she sucked me off lovingly and many many times, swallowing every drop.
She shift in her attitude was enormous.
When there’s an impending rift in status between a couple, the bond is either going to be strengthened or destroyed depending on who’s getting the status bump.
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Chateau wrote:
That was my first marriage. She had dropped out of college a few hours shy of a music major. I convinced her to get an education degree and put her through school for that and to finish her first degree. She became an accomplished professional in a field she’d never have considered without my encouragement, which, eventually, gave her the means to leave me after fourteen years. Our net worth at divorce was about a quarter million – not bad for a couple of teachers, especially considering her utter lack of fiscal restraint – and she got half, plus child support. Now, not quite five years later, mine’s back up to that and hers is roughly zero. And two of the three kids live (or lived) with me and the third is begging to do so when she’s a little older so child support will swing the other way as well. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t she?
Rollo Tomassi wrote:
And that was my second (much briefer) marriage in which I invested my time and sweat and money only to be driven from what I thought would be my home from a bitter, ungrateful bitch. She was physically handicapped and I was her caregiver (which I knew going in – my greatest relationship weakness is a deep desire to have someone to take care of) but she also had mental issues that went undiagnosed until ‘way too late. But I chose to live HER life and failed to focus on MY mission and require that she live mine. I discovered this blog just before we separated and it is a little nauseating to see my multiple errors so clearly illustrated here.
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Man, how sometimes the truths on this blog sting like a thousand rattlesnake bites. I lost the love of my life due to doing every beta thing espoused on this blog and the truth is my beta behaviors rarely if ever came from weakness; they came from a sense of honor and from compassion.
It’s worse actually when beta behaviors come from compassion because if they come from weakness, you can at least say “hey im a weak insecure person”; I deserved to get dumped. But when they come from a purer place, the sting haunts you in ways that are unimaginable.
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Damn, I wish WordPress would let you preview or edit your posts. Screwed up Rosso‘s link AND a paragraph break…
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And then Julian pops in and puts the pure essence of both marriages into words. God, the truth does sting. An earlier poster said “honor is a male concept.” Oh, the pain, the pain suffered by honorable betas…
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And now can’t spell “Rollo.” Giving up for now to seek comfort in food and drink. Especially drink.
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I know most of you guys don’t believe in God, but I thank God every day that I have not made the one crucial and irreversible mistake; marrying an American woman. I can at least take solace in that fact and also that I now know what laws govern the male/female socio/sexual matrix.
I sometimes try and allude to some of these facts in conversations and I find resistance at every turn. It really does take an insane amount of self-awareness, brutal honestly and high levels of objectivity to not only take the red pill but to see it’s effects.
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Hypergamy in action… ninety (90) girls at a Memphis high school pregnant!
“90 Pregnancies At One Memphis High School,” 14 JAN 11,
http://www.5newsonline.com/news/nationworld/wreg-frayser-pregnancies,0,18927.story
Back in the day guys be possessive of they bitches (even shooting each other over ’em) but now… no paternal even ducking of responsibility, no mention of males at all.
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The only television worth watching is nature shows. Reminds you of what’s what.
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Woman are just like the catchphrase in Starship Troopers: “You’ll do until I can find someone better.” (That’s what they mean when they say “I do.”) Keep ’em entertained or they’re outta there with bigger/better dick in them!
“The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage,” by Tara Parker-Hope, NYT, 31 Dec 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html
It’s all about Me, Me, Me for them! (This is news, right?)
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Advice on “Game” can fall into two broad categories.
Tricks and The Real Deal.
Tricks is what can work in the short term to put up the illusion of value , status and attraction with a woman , but without a solid base of The Real Deal is doomed to fail due to the sheer effort required for a man to put up that front to a woman.
Tricks are things like Peacocking , the use of NLP theory in its application to game , using canned material etc … anyway you get the picture.
On the other hand …
The Real Deal is:-
a) where a man IS higher value and this value is not monodimensional , say based on his looks or his monerary value alone.
and
b) where a man also has more options than the women he is gaming and fucking and is able to walk away and find something better should be feel the need … and in having more options , not be afraid to do so.
and
c) where a man has multiple Alpha qualities.
and
d) where a man is smart enough and wise enough to make the right choices so that relationships with women fall in his favour and he is able to deal effectively with the game playing that women engage in and knows which women to avoid and which women are of value and worth the time , effort and energy to engage with and are beyond merely emptying his balls into.
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(see e.g., the 30 stone chick who got pregnant)
What the fuck?!?!? How did he even FIND the hole?
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“What the fuck?!?!? How did he even FIND the hole?”
Rolled her in flour to find the wet spot.
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[…] By kip1981 Another example of the depressingly true brilliant mysogyny of Roissy: The crux of the matter is that women do not desire men of equal status. They desire men of higher […]
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Have a situation and would be grateful on any feedback on how I handled it.
Quick note: have friend who’s a real player, has gf in our social circle, lives in another city.
After one visit, he suddenly began gaming the girl I was gaming and asked her not to tell me they were in contact. She also told me that he claimed the girl he visits is not his gf.
I listened. I got the uncomfortable feeling I was being tooled.
Then she goes on holiday to the place where he lives and they meet up. She writes to say they met up.
I keep it cool, but firm. I never confront her, I simply raise questions.
Me: “You met up?”
Her: defensive waffle: He was there blah blah blah…..
Me: he never mentioned it. I find it weird what he leaves out.
Her: He’s your friend.
Me: I find his behaviour odd. Trust and confidence. This doesn’t inspire either.
Her; Is it my fault that I told you? (Again more defensiveness)
Me: Why would it be your fault. Why would he want you to keep that information from me?
Her: uncomfortable waffle, defensive blah blah blah.
Me: Got it
Her: gotta go blah blah blah…..
That was the gist of the chat. In a “Test of Your Game”….how’d I do?
Some thoughts from this blog…I questioned his behaviour as “creepy” and “Weird”—AMOG destroyer. Correct approach?
I raised questions without displaying either anger or emotion, just stating my boudaries. “Trust and confidence are important”
This is a girl I’ve gamed and built a connection with over a year, and consumated it just the weekend before her holiday and meet up with this guy. She seems keen. But her meet up with him and not telling me they were meeting up albeit in a social circle, is a concern. The fact it was the first thing she mentioned to me…when I said “how’s the party?” is also odd.
I never accused her of any wrong-doing. Instead I used game to instill what I think is “dread”. The fear that I’m pissed, that she may lose me over this. She may be exposed for keeping secrets so long.
But her reaction and passive-aggressive discomfort with all this, is revealing to me.
My next move….Nothing. I’m going on a long holiday for a while. I can duck out and lay low. Or I can invite one of consorts and parade her in front of my target.
Any insights?
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Ohio
Not quite. Women simply have a parallel social system. They have their own connections and support systems. True, it is usually shocking to men that we are not included in their “altruistic” concerns. Their reciprocity networks are separate from ours, but they have em.
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Actually, I’m going to re-think it. If women have reciprocity networks, they are not as strong and organized as are mens, and are more loosely and flexibly allied. Gossip networks, and babysitting trading.
I’ll stick with my notion that women do look after each other, as a concern, and that men find it almost impossible to fathom that a woman who considers herself no longer bound to you will be completely selfish and amoral and show no mercy or hint of fair play.
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@walawala
I’m in a similar situation.
Asking questions is of her is fine, but too many allows the power to shift in her favour. Sounds counterintuitive, but I think that asking them a lot of questions about their sexual conduct allows them to rationalize their behaviour. She then gets the luxury of saying to herself that you’re too controlling and creepy and who knows whatever else and this allows her to drop a bomb in the form of:
“Hey, we’re not even bf/gf so why are you acting this way”, or something along those lines. Once this occurs, you’re fucked. She’ll view you as something totally despicable: a beta.
Even if she doesn’t say this, she will be thinking it so you end up losing because she’ll be glad to be rid of you so she can fuck your friend.
Just assume she’s fucking him and demote her to fuck buddy. Whether she is or not is now irrelevant. She got defensive so something is up or she wants something to happen.
No questions, no nothing. Just be aloof and unamused by her. Besides, you already fucked her, right?
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walawala, this guy is your “friend” ?
with friends like that who needs enemies.
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I’m going to go ahead and take credit for an age old wisdom that all men once upon a time used to know. I’ve been saying it on this blog before anyone could get past their indoctrination of fem-think and was able to even cognize the thought. I said it back when no one dared think it.
Keep your woman down, financially.
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No doubt, TV, chick-lit and cinema has accelerated female hypergamy. Time was, most women only knew local men. No imaginary screen idols for comparison.
But I think the moment when the west really hit the shitter was when it became acceptable for homewreckers. No fault divorce destroyed our civilisation
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Roissy and Chateau – The Sun Tzu of Game.
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People who keep scraping for social “reasons” why women are hypergamous live in a fairy tale morality play.
You MUST believe it’s a social cause, because the reality of the female brain would explode your head.
These are cross cultural impulses that come out whenever there is opportunity. There is currently no society that has access to technology that does not give opportunity to hypergamous impulses. Birth control, mobility, access to education – unless you want to go plant rocks in Afcrapastan, all your women will have access to these opportunities.
Yes, the legal system is slanted, but that’s a small portion of what drives women to their amoral fast and loose and even criminal ways. It’s not as if you can fix the legal system and a previous golden social age will re-emerge.
Jeez! Morality play guys seem so retarded to me. Grow up!
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Legion
Morality play guys will never get the mental framework to understand this. A woman doesn’t just stay with a guy because he has money. She actually LOVES him because he has money.
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Xsplat,
I’m not disputing the biological origin of female hypergamy. However, because of social trends, these impulses are now acceptable in a way that they were not before.
Fifty years ago, the penalties for women to act on these impulses were too
high: Losing custody of family; house and social ostracism. This ain’t the
case now. But incremental reform is possible. Just because there never was a golden age doesn’t mean men have to live in a dark age.
And none of this invalidates the importance of being all the alpha that you can be. And watching your lady like a hawk
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“Morality play guys will never get the mental framework to understand this. A woman doesn’t just stay with a guy because he has money. She actually LOVES him because he has money.”
Depends on the context. If you live in the urban areas of the USA you don’t need to have tons of money to bang quality ass on the reg or for LTR if you are under 35. The older you get the more money becomes an issue. That’s the real crux of the matter.
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Julian
Were you honestly hearing me say that a woman can only love money?
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A woman will love you MORE if you have money. She will love you BECAUSE you have money.
That doesn’t mean she can’t love you if you don’t have money.
Men are mostly incapable of understanding this, as we don’t have those feelings and so are incapable of empathizing. Most men try to understand the world through concepts such as right and wrong, rather than concepts such as opportunity.
Women love for opportunity. They don’t just fuck bad boys and use betas. They love providers because they can provide also. And they love the alpha providers like fucking hell.
It’s like trying to ram a square peg into a round hole to get this point accross.
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Lots of guys understand the idea that women are biologically programmed to seek wealth, but most guys find it difficult to wrap their heads around the idea that a woman can truly “love” a man because of his money.
Guys tend to project male attraction triggers on women but it just doesn’t work that way. A man can only love a woman when she meets his minimum physical standards. A woman can love a man who hits any number of attraction triggers including status, wealth, power, looks, dominance, etc., or some combination thereof. Women are wired to look beyond shortcomings in one category if a guy brings something to the table in another.
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Red Emporor, you see social ostracism as a driving force behind social structures. Many would agree with you, Especially Doug1, unless he’s come around to adjusting his views.
Social ostracism is like religion. It is nothing but a story we tell ourselves after the fact. It’s an explanation of current situations, not a cause of them.
Mothers will ostracize their kids, in order to maximize the benefit a kid can receive. If technology changes the rules, the young will adopt that technology, and not ostracize for the same reasons. Mom’s no longer ostracize daughters for fucking, because there is no reason not to fuck, and their opportunities will usually improve if they do fuck around.
Ostracism follows technology, it is not a driving social force, it is a following social force.
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“but most guys find it difficult to wrap their heads around the idea that a woman can truly “love” a man because of his money.”
I don’t think men have a hard time accepting that a woman can love a man BECAUSE of his money, what they don’t accept is that a beautiful woman will fall in love with a man ONLY for his money. It goes against everything that is espoused on this blog. I.E., if you have money but are ugly, boring, old and have no game a woman will fall head over heels in love with you just because you have money.
“A woman will love you MORE if you have money.”
I think this most men would agree with and no one is disputing.
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Look guys, the work involving what to do with women has been done before, courtesy of Genghis Khan. There’s no need to re-invent the wheel over and over again. Any time you have to deal with women, just ask yourself, “What would Genghis Khan do?”
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“A woman will love you MORE if you have money.”
I think this most men would agree with and no one is disputing.
that’s more true the older you get.
if you’re young and good-looking in a non-swpl way (i.e., built, rather than skinny-muscle, with more than a bit of edge to you, and optimally with brown or darker skin), money is at best marginally relevant, and can even work against you.
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@SN2 and Julian
Good input. I followed that Question, Question, Statement Pattern. Yup, something’s up. She’s talking about him a little bit too much. Yes, I banged her and she got me a gift.
It doesn’t really bother me that he contacted her, that part I get…he’s a player, she’s attractive.
The “don’t tell him….” and her agreeing to it and only telling me after I banged her means that she kept that to herself. Then when I raise the ethics of such behaviour she’s more concerned with protecting him, becoming defensive rather than apologizing profusely and begging for forgiveness for the lapse of judgement.
I can’t be with someone who doesn’t see that being part of a conspiracy of silence and then trying to protect his rather than my intersests is not where I want to be.
That’s my read of the situation.
What I’ve said has been short and measured.
SN2 what’s your situation and how did you handle? What was the outcome?
Julian…good one, with friends like these….
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bring the movies
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you want loyality ..get a dog .. if you expect anything ..moral or logical..kidding right? ..with 95% the best you can expect is an uneasy truce ..like between an trained alligator and the wrangler .. the wrangler is ever watchful always careful.. considers himself lucky if he never gets bit ..and understands at any time he lets his attention waver for even a moment ..he could easily lose an arm
the gator ..well they just do what gators do ..its their nature
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Julian, I agree that a woman won’t love a man only for his money. I’m saying that it is an attractiveness trigger akin to large breasts. Men have been known to marry a girl solely for her tits, but most of us expect a bit more than the tits.
Men can fall in “love” at first sight with pin up models. It’s insane, but it’s reality. Women in the same way can feel attraction solely based on status. Then in real life you need to also excersize personality.
I’m ranting against a male perspective when applied to women. It doesn’t work. Women love differently than men do. Women love opportunistically, so if you are a better opportunity, you are easier to love. No matter how many times we see this in our own life, we make excuses for the girls, saying that a “good” girl isn’t like that. Only gold diggers are like that. But the truth is that all girls are like that. Men hate the reality of it, but money=tits, and just like tits, it can cause the attraction that we call love.
Narciso, how can money work against a young man? All things being equal, money will help, which I’m sure you will admit. I only works “against” a man because it helps him so much that he gets lazy with game, right? Because he barely needs game if he has money.
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Or put it another way. For a man it would be “wrong” to love a woman because of her money. Not only is money not an attractiveness trigger, but to be attracted by it would be immoral.
So when we imagine a “good” girl, we imagine a girl who is above being attracted to money.
It’s fucked up thinking. There are no “good” girls. Girls have different priorities. What’s good for us is not good for them. In all cases for all women throughout time and space, money is an attractiveness trigger. Just like for all men throughout time and space a hip to waist ratio is attractive.
The caveat does exist for the girl who is afraid of players – but it’s not an exception to the rule – it’s an amendment. Girls know not to play out of their league if they want long term commitment. And girls know that money is an attractiveness trigger and can put a man out of her league.
Every time you imagine a “good” girl, imagine a “good” man who loves his wife equally no matter how fat she gets.
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Great post. I wish I’d known this when I was a teenager. I got my g/f a job for the summer, went away for a weekend and she dumped me, saying she’d made friends at the new job and “realized she didn’t need me anymore.”
A similar thing happened when I stupidly helped out a woman a few years later. Now when a woman asks for a leg up, I just ignore her. I actually make it a point never to help women, because it always blows up in your face.
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Just thought this might be nice to reflect upon.
ttp://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/15/sports/football/15steelers.html?hp=&pagewanted=print
According to our blog host, the negative comments by women in the article are just complete B.S.
I suspect that if they are their true sentiments, it’s because Ben is no Tom Brady in the looks department.
Notice how the women might forgive Ben if he becomes a beta by getting married. And, they would be cheering on his wife to divorce him and take his money, eventually.
This is the kind of complete B.S. which has been repeated over and over until men believe it, and become useful beta tools for women.
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The female side of our economy is doing great (nursing, etc) whereas the male side is down or outsourced. The vast majority of men are unattractive to the vast majority of women, which has always been true, but the gap is a lot wider today.
You don’t have a choice! Society is making sure your wife rises in status!
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@walawala
“It doesn’t really bother me that he contacted her, that part I get…he’s a player, she’s attractive.”
It should bother you. This guy knows you’ve been gaming her, and is going about trying to fuck her behind your back. As if no other girls are available? There’s an animosity towards you in this guy that’s causing this.
The best thing to do with the girl is demote her mentally to fuckbuddy status, or forget about her entirely. She not only loves the attention of two friends fighting over her, but in telling you about it, she trying to maximize the drama. If you date her, she’ll probably constantly pull the jealousy shit test on you. Let her get her ego trip elsewhere. Your strategy of doing nothing is probably the best.
But getting back to your friend, it’s clear he doesn’t have the respect for you to not fuck with you like this. If you fail to check him on this, I’ll guarantee it’ll happen again and again. Handling that is way more important than how you handle the girl.
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@walawala
Others here have given some great advice.
This guy is no friend.
At the point where she told you that he asked her not to tell you, my response would have been, “Why, what’s he afraid of?”
That frames the situation as such that the guy is afraid of you (and therefore lower status) and also gets her hamster running the wheel in a more favorable direction for you.
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I could write about this subject all day but xsplat has done all the work for me. Right on the money, hehe
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“The caveat does exist for the girl who is afraid of players – but it’s not an exception to the rule – it’s an amendment.”
On point, if the “good girl” could parlay a player into a LTR, she would. It’s not because she doesn’t feel attraction for him its moreso she cant handle him. Nice insight.
But to be honest, that’s what makes her “good” ; it’s making rational choices along a cost/benefit analysis spectrum. Unfortunately, most women do not have this capacity. That’s why in olden days they had family/social strictures to gear her towards wiser decisions.
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@walawala
Basically it’s the same story. I’m seeing/fucking a 19 yo for a few months (I’m 32) and one day I take her around some friends and acquaintances. Some guy I know gets her number and begins texting her constantly but he’s not man enough to ask her out. He just says that they “should” get a drink (beta) over and over again. She starts showing me this chumps texts (beta orbiter. Full of emoticons.), I say he’s a “sweetie” and a really “smooth operator”. She laughs. I smirk. No questions from me. I tell her she should date the guy.
One day she’s out having drinks with a few of her girls when he does his tri-weekly beta texting. She tells him she’s out having drinks with her friends at blah blah. He shows up with his boys and tries to make a move.
She sends a text to me saying she was at blah blah and by the way Mr. Chump stopped by for a few drinks and brought her a present for her birthday (which was the in a few days). Then she says he gave her a birthday kiss on the cheek. I say “what a nice guy. excellent boyfriend material”. But really I’m pissed because I assume she’s a ho no matter what. She sends a text asking me if I’m pissed and says that she’s sorry. I haven’t said she’s my girl so I don’t get the apology (she wants more I assume) and besides she knows that I see other girls too (2 other early 20s) so I know she wants to tie me down to her. I don’t reply back. A couple of days pass.
Finally, her birthday rolls around and I don’t call/text her at all. At around 1145 pm (15 mins left before her bday is over) she sends a text wondering why I haven’t wished her yet. She’s surprised and hurt (but aroused no doubt) I text back at around 145 am : hbd (happy birthday). She replies and asks if she can come over.
Fuck buddy until proven otherwise.
I now see the beauty of keeping 3 girls around and an older cougar type 30 year old as an official fuck buddy. Late teen and early 20s girls are flaky as fuck and go wherever the wind blows unless you firmly anchor them down. You really need to tighten up your game when dealing with them. No joke its mentally exhausting but the pussy is the best you’ll get. You need to Alpha yourself in EVERY situation you may find yourself in with them to keep the attraction/attention up.
Your “friend” is a chump. If he’s trying to get it in your girl on the sly he needs to be called out. Not in front of girls though, but in front of other guys. Put your foot on his neck.
As for the 19 yo. She now knows that I don’t play. She’s got a lot of work ahead of her.
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Macho Camacho:“The reason you see very decent guys with fat, ugly wives is they think that’s the best they can do.”
There are upper middle class dudes who literally have never met a feminine woman. When they do, they project a bunch of ideological bilge, generally excreted from their fat and jealous UMC female friends onto her.
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You know what the textbook example of this is?
The guitar player for the Donnas’ divorced her producer/soundman husband after their major label debut garnered some success.
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The End–
I’m a lawyer who went to a top five law school. Moved from law to greener fields a long time ago, and never practiced anything remotely close to family law. I have looked into divorce law in various states from time to time since my divorce, out of a men’s rights type interest.
but in most states, that aren’t community property jurisdictions, if funds are never co-mingled and there was no intention to co-mingle them they are not marital property.
This is true of most community property states to with respect to property brought into a marriage, or inheritances and girls that occur during them. However it’s not true of wealth earned or created during the marriage whether through salary, and owned business, and so on. I don’t believe any state considers this separate property during a marriage unless there’s a prenup that says it is.
Some states will invalidate what they consider to be unreasonably prenups, but others such as Flordia, New York and California will generally uphold them with regard to reasonableness as long as all the requirements for entering into a valid one have been observed — each side with separate counsel, done well before the wedding date, full financial disclosure, and some other things. No state upholds prenups on anything related to child custody or child support, except possibly for income in excess of the ceiling amount for child support if a state has one.
Courts in many states are most likely to overturn a prenup if it provides for no alimony even in the case of very long marriages where no child support is being paid, and the woman isn’t getting a big lump sum, and hasn’t worked for a long time. Some states will provide only for transitional alimony in most cases (e.g. NY) while others (California) provide for lifetime alimony after ten years even if the wife is working but earns a lot less (though this can be defeated by a prenup in California), whereas some states such as Mass can order lifetime alimony for non working or less highly paid women even in the case of marriages a lot shorter than five years — and prenups are often overturned by family courts in that state.
It’s basically insane for men to be married and live in Massachusetts – they become lifetime indentured servants at her option any time she wants, if she earns substantially less.
One might ask why the hell she didn’t work or at least go back to work, but family court is about protecting women and screwing men over to do so, regardless of why the marriage ended.
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why get married in the first place? a friend of mine has 2 kids with his gf and she loves him dearly, he tells me not being married gives him an advantage and keeps her on her toe.
Marriage is just binding yourself legally to her. if she really loves you she won’t issue an ultimatum. women want a wedding a kids not a husband.
just don’t cave to family pressure, you do not have to be married.
Icebergslim said, don’t even live with your girl because how can you be god to her if she can see you and touch you everyday!
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@Lazarus
“”At the point where she told you that he asked her not to tell you, my response would have been, “Why, what’s he afraid of?”
That frames the situation as such that the guy is afraid of you (and therefore lower status) and also gets her hamster running the wheel in a more favorable direction for you.””
Yes, I did that saying “Why would he say that? What’s with the secrecy?”
SN2—-very similar situation. Good reaction.
I’ve read elsewhere the “do nothing” option which is defacto has to at times be tempered with calling the girl out to stand your ground on ethics and code of how you conduct your life.
Standing your ground is tough without sounding “hurt” or “angry”.
My strategy was as @lazarus suggested…calling him out to her as “creepy” and “weird”. Then asking her why the secrecy? Girls know the answer.
She feels guilty now that we moved closer and so is somehow trying to manage that guilt by throwing this back to me as “He’s your friend”.
I’m careful not to say “no he’s not”. Rather I said “His behaviour is creepy”.
My questioning was clear and put her in a spot where she was forced to consider her own complicity in playing along with this for more than a month before telling me. Also, she’s been using my “friendship” as the basis for always dropping his name. Like in SN2’s case, at first it was funny….then I started to get really uncomfortable.
I also realize that in my chats with the guy he was very interseted in how far along I was in gaming this girl.
I never did know about the part where he said “don’t tell him”…She did mention that he’d contacted her. When I first learned that, I contacted him and called him on it. He positioned as “wing man”….But I never knew that he’d also told her that the girl he’s seeing isn’t his gf….
It’s interesting how the more I held back, the more she pursued. When I made a move, suddenly she started “gaming” me.
A good lesson for anyone learning game is to keep it short and concise in person or in text. That whole exchange I had was 10 lines. It was me leading the questioning.
On some level women want a strong guy to call them out on their crap and to recognize bs.
This drama really feeds her ego. This is a key lesson for any guys learning game. Keep this thought in the back of your mind to avoid giving her power.
Put another way….if she had a hot friend and I started texting the hot friend and then hung out with the hot friend, you can bet that any girl I was with would be through the roof.
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Wow, is this a home for wayward Internet trolls or what? Could the people here BE any more stereotypical?
“Honor is a male concept. Women are weak and desperate at all times in their life. Men really need to have this drilled into their heads.”
Riiight, because there are no women EMTs or doctors or whatever else. Honor is a HUMAN concept. So is the concept of equality, but that seems to be beyond the capacity of your brain. Pull your head out of our ass. Stop being a poor internet troll and live in the real world.
And wtflol with this whole ‘a woman only loves a man with more status than her’? I can say first hand that that is complete bullshit. Like I said, get out into the real world, this isn’t the Victorian era. Yes, some woman are shallow like that, but some men (case in point, you guys) are equally shallow.
Case in point, my best friend has been happily married for nearly 20 years even though her husband has anxiety and agoraphobia and has been on disability. He has always been supportive of her, and vice versa, and their love and relationship has only increased.
Why dont you guys man up, a grow a pair, and stop whining and masturbating to each other. You act like youre repressed or something.
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If she doesn’t feel inferior to you, she won’t feel her ‘gina tingle for you either.
Put a nicer way, make her be constantly playing catch-up to you.
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“Honor is a HUMAN concept.”
And empathy is a female virtue…
“So is the concept of equality”
haha that’s why you need to drill the equality canard in each child each day..
“Case in point, my best friend has been happily married for nearly 20 years even though her husband has anxiety and agoraphobia and has been on disability.”
People above you also have cases in point.
“Yes, some woman are shallow like that, but some men (case in point, you guys) are equally shallow. ”
Indeed, but when men are the bad guys, only men are the bad guys. What you are spouting is what’s all too stereotypical.
‘Any good thing that has been ascribed to men in the past, is now for humans’, “if women are bad in something, it’s not like men are cut out of the holy cloth”.
“women are equal to men in most of the things, and sometimes better”
“Why dont you guys man up, a grow a pair, and stop whining and masturbating to each other. ”
Why don’t you start acting like a man and start thinking… your idiotic reprimand is pointless.
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@666
You’re the only delusional one.
Yes equality, another male concept, unfortunately is a ridiculous myth, found nowhere in life.
That woman you speak of is not in love with her husband and assuming she’s a religious woman who actually behaves in accordance with her religious beliefs, would cheat on him if she doesn’t already. She’s married to an infant, not a man. I can only imagine how ghastly she is.
“This isn’t Victorian times”..if that isn’t more proof of your sex I don’t know what is. The Chandler impression was the first clue.
Yes it’s quite clear we’re dealing with a sandal wearing (fe)male.
We don’t need to live in the Victorian era to see that the vast majority of women leave their husbands and boyfriends, even at the detriment of their own children, to satisfy their desire for higher status males, whether it’s sexual, social, economic or all of the above.
Open your eyes, cuck-boy.
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@quetal
Many states force the legal chains of marriage on non-married couples quite often.
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@walawala
Yeah I think that calling them out and letting them know what you expect whether it’s a serious relationship or not can be a good thing but I also feel that adjusting your temperature towards them is always the more effective approach but it requires more discipline on your part.
If they ever fuck up in your eyes and you suddenly make yourself scarcer or not as friendly they learn through negative reinforcement. They know what they’re doing and whether it makes men upset or not so they need to understand that there will be consequences. This is the anchoring I’m talking about. In this context, your player “friend” now seems to be the desperate one while you look like you have options. Her attraction for him diminishes. Even still: Fuckbuddy until proven otherwise.
Turning cold toward them lets them know that they’re being rejected and quite possibly “nexted”. Females hate being passed over. This is the “dread” I think you were referring to in your first post.
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Women: If you’re rich, big-dicked and/or make me cum better, I’m single. (Gents, that’s how it works. Your money, kids and wife go to the last person who makes her cum screamin’ like a banshee, so keep up the skillz.)
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Don’t support her goals, make her support yours. This is a good goal of yours she should support with her efforts:
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@SN2 yes…there is a good post in here: “A Test of Your Game: The Judging” that I used in my approach.
The difference is in tone and temperature.
The fuck ten other women FTOW works when you don’t care, but if there is someone that has a bit more potential, then you can’t just keep jumping.
The idea is maintaining frame, being clear, laying it out.
I just did that. My target apologized profusely and displayed appropriate remorse.
But…those are words for now. Yes, demote them and watch how it unfolds. But a long heart-felt letter of apology and remorse is a good start. My reply: “Thanks, let’s meet up soon”.
I think in some ways girls want to be called on their crap or they won’t respect you.
The other learning is you can be more vulnerable as long as it’s not your constant state, you’ve displayed adequate alpha and toughness and you don’t always walk around with your heart on your sleeve.
Then it works. If you’re always blowing up…you’re the angry guy. If you’re always weeping, you’re the sensitive guy.
Game is as much about emotional intelligence as it is getting chicks to do your laundry.
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666,
In one long, Chandleresque breath you indignantly lisp away about gender “equality” …and then try to butch up by demanding we “man up” and “grow a pair”.
To spell it out for you, these are mutually exclusive concepts.
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[…] Chateau – “Reader Mailbag: True Grit Edition“, “Why You Shouldn’t Support Your Girlfriend’s Goals” […]
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@SN2 yes…there is a good post in here: “A Test of Your Game: The Judging” that I used in my approach.
The idea is maintaining frame, being clear, laying it out.
I just did that. My target apologized profusely and displayed appropriate remorse.
But…those are words for now.
Yes, demote them and watch how it unfolds. But a long heart-felt letter of apology and remorse is a good start. My reply: “Thanks, let’s meet up soon”.
I think in some ways girls want to be called on their crap or they won’t respect you.
Then it works. If you’re always blowing up…you’re the angry guy. If you’re always weeping, you’re the sensitive guy.
Game is as much about emotional intelligence as it is getting chicks to bring the movies.
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Support or not…..it all depends on the girl and what her goal is.
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Roissy,
I am a 33 businessman. My girlfriend is a 24 ballet ballerina who is about to retire, ando now wants to be a yoga instructor so I am supporting her, paying all the stuff. Am I doing well?
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@walawala
The demotion should basically be thought of as a probationary period. If she breaches trust again you cut her off. Keeping her around as a fuckbuddy after she does it again would be a severely broken frame on your part. They should always be aware of what you expect of them or else they’re rudderless and very easily swayed.
If she’s young (i.e < 26) she will probably do it again.
If she's older than that she may be able to restrain herself.
Take her words with a grain of salt and watch her actions closely.
The letter was a nice touch on her part and does show a little bit of character but remember that she's still a chick and she's loving the drama.
And yeah, game IS emotional intelligence (for some).
It's a tool for early 20s douches to get laid until they forget all about it's importance. They'll never internalize it because they're too busy high-fiving each other after getting laid. This lack of vigilance leads to disastrous relationships later on through breaking of frame. The fake gamers always do this.
For the rest of us, it's a way to learn about ourselves, the opposite sex and therefore life in general so that we can control the outcome of our lives, whatever that may be, and get girls who fit our own personal "1-10 scale" and not the one that gets pushed on to us by society.
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Hey all, looking for some quick advice on a situation.
Quick background info:
Had been with a girl for a little over a year, went on holiday with her for 3 weeks. Dumped her after about 15 days in – she is a neurotic waif and I had grown tired of her shit. Dumping was instigated by me and I fucked her consistently for the last week ofthe holiday. I am now back home and she is returning in a day or so separately. Everything is fairly amicable and she still says she loves me but I’ve made it clear I don’t love her anymore.
The question: I’ve since hooked up with another girl (a 6) and, in the interests of prolonging my sexual activities with the waif (she’s a 9 – 9.5), how should I respond to her asking me “so have you gotten with any other girls since?”.
My idea so far is hinting at the possibility (playing the aloof card) but I can’t seem to pinpoint a good answer if she presses the issue.
Advice would be much appreciated!
Further info: We are both 19, she works for my family and we live nearby to one a other.
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@Ashoka
Don’t shit where you eat buddy boy.
PS: Manipulate her into threesomes. She’s 19 and still wants disgusting scenarios she can fantasize about when she’s diddling herself 30 years from now.
No but really, don’t make problems for yourself and your family.
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Ashoka…
It smells like her game is to see how much neurotic abuse she can game YOU with.
This all apart of establishing a sugar daddy relationship. In your case, she’s looking past your wallet and on towards the family’s.
If you fail the test — i.e. put up with her shit — she’ll manage to get knocked up — by accident, of course.
Then the poor thing can tap you big time.
Imagine those tears in family court.
Her additional connections ruin the proper male-female relationship. She can pull angles on you unlike the average playmate.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
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Thanks for the advice,
I thought it may be pertinent to point out that her work relationship with my family is fairly tenuous (purely part time basis) and my family is very aware and wary of her neuroticism. Additionally, her parents know what sort of shit she gives people and have on multiple occasions confided in me that I was completely in line to act in x manner.
Also, I don’t live in the US so we have the same fucktarded laws
In a nutshell: I have some support from her family, odd as it may seem… she has no power whatsoever insofar as to call the shots anywhere near my family and I’m really digging the threesome idea!!
Ps. Blurt, you encapsulated almost her entire identity with your first sentence, bravo!
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I think this is a bit over-simplistic. The problem with the guy and his girlfriend isn’t that he helped her achieve her goals, it’s that he didn’t offer her enough value on other levels. If the major value he was adding to her life was that of being a musician and being a talented bassist, and she surpassed him, well of course she’d dump him.
It’s like dating a girl for no reason other than she’s hot and then getting rich and realizing getting other hot girls is really easy. If she’s not offering you value on other levels, then you’ll be out of there, and rightly so.
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“Honor is a HUMAN concept.”
I would say it’s more of a male concept than a female concept.
As Roosh pointed out, people sometimes say “He’s a man of his word.” Nobody ever says “She’s a woman of her word” or “she’s a girl of her word.”
Because everyone knows that girls are much less honorable than men.
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“honor” is a male concept because:
when women don’t behave honorably–people cry
when men don;t behave honorably–people DIE
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Don’t listen to women observe their actions.
Love-shy male
http://www.love-shy.com/
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dana when are you going to post something new on that blog?
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Honor, Courage, Integrity – these are all definitely male qualities, not female ones.
Ever heard of a sane, normal man who would:
kill his unborn child
run off and leave his wife and children to “find himself”
break up a happy home on the flimsiest of pretexts
turn on a partner like a vicious animal the moment that person becomes vulnerable
desert a partner because of circumstances fully beyond their control, such as being laid off from a job
try and snare a partner based on how much money you can get out of the deal
Hell I could make a list a yard long of all the deceitful, subhuman shit that women pull on a daily that men would never even consider, unless they were the most vile pricks.
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chic,
can’t blog, obsessively knitting, fuck politics
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@Begby
Yeah, but there are a lot of vile pricks out there.
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“Honor is a male concept. Women are weak and desperate at all times in their life. Men really need to have this drilled into their heads.” ME
I’ve had this discussion with friends of mine many times. Women simply care about their own happiness – that’s all that’s important to them. At whatever point this woman became “unhappy” with her supportive husband, she decided in her head that fucking around on him and then destroying his life was perfectly justified for her to regain happiness. This is generally how woman think. They use the whole, “I’ve changed/grown/improved, but he hasn’t or won’t” bit to justify it. A man may grow disenchanted with his wife for whatever reason and have an affair, but he won’t necessarily want to divorce his wife, or want to destroy her life or hurt his children by disrupting their lives. He’ll soldier on.
I read an article on the London Daily Mail site about a woman who actually LIKES being a mistress. She doesn’t want men to leave their wives, and doesn’t mind that he’ll be with his wife and kids on holidays, etc. She’s another one of those bitches that “got bored” with her husband, let herself get fat, only to blame HIM for the fact that she got fat and didn’t feel sexy. She practically bragged that she felt no guilt when she engaged in her first affair – which was with her husband’s best friend. The second affair was with his brother (of course, I personally am more disgusted with the betrayal on the part of these two men that should have been more loyal). She decided, upon divorcing him, that she would be more “happy” getting gifts and attention from men, without all the demands of her own relationship. Though not every woman would go to this woman’s lengths, at their core, they are just as selfish as her.
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dana you could always write about music or anything else that you enjoy. like you said, screw politics.
what are you knitting for?
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*men ignore chattering women*
for my mother in law:
http://ravel.me/danabanana9/g1
husband:
http://ravel.me/danabanana9/dpp
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Maybe you should be especially careful about supporting your girlfriend’s goals if she’s in grad school. Somewhere on this blog (100 reasons not to go to grad school) it makes the point that grad school almost always means putting off having kids, but Reason 43 is pretty funny/depressing:
http://100rsns.blogspot.com/
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“…what are you knitting for…” A day when Chic Noir will not call me out for having absolutely nothing worth saying.No;really.
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As I said:”Really.”And I’m nonblack!
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According to the maxim, women desire men of better quality than themselves, so when their status elevates higher than their man then problems ensue.
I think that this maxim needs to be tweaked slightly. I think that any little, slight, insignificant elevation of status a woman gains, even if it doesn’t elevate them higher than their man, they still perceive as a quantum leap. This causes them to have a “perceived status” that is still higher than their man. In this case the “status gap” has been shortened, so they then feel that they can then acquire a man whose status is slightly higher (or much higher) than their mans in order to relieve their new found anxiety caused by this smaller disparity.
I was in an LTR with a girl who was no more than a D-Girl at her company and received a slightly higher than nominal pay increase after a period of good performance. Now, before the raise I was making 3x the $$ she made and after her raise it was more like 2.8x what she made. The attitudinal changes I observed in her were comical. She started referring to herself as a “package” and she had no problem regaling me with stories of her office exploits where men looked at her lustfully and with desire. I had to believe that we were on the way to a break-up but I wasn’t too concerned because she was 27 (hit the wall) at the time and even if she did leave she’d be used as a pump and dump by her male suitors before she’d have to settle for a guy with even less status than me. Not before trying to get me back of course. I was definitely sure of that.
What she probably never understood was that I had her for nearly all the best years of her life (21ish to 27) and she willingly jettisoned me to enter the dating market to compete with younger, prettier, blossoming girls who without even trying take all the spotlight and attention she thought she so rightfully earned. What a reality check this was for her because she tried to get me to take her back soon after. I wasn’t having any of it.
Anyways, she settled for an older, balder, chubbier IT dork who I’m sure has no idea of the number of times she tried to get me back while she was in a “relationship” with him. The amount of other western women who will end up living a re-hashed version of her life makes me feel warm inside because in 15 years I’m going to be fucking the brains out of a bunch of early 30s late 20s “career” girls who’ve all had to “settle” for chumps because they gambled on landing a “super-Alpha” when they should have instead got nicely acquainted with a little thing called REALITY.
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I agree that honor is a male concept. What I wonder about though is those who women throughout history who have lived their life in a selfless manner. Mother Teresa, Clara Barton and Sarada Devi et al. What made them outliers ? Family ? Upbringing ? You would be blind to reality to say there have been no selfless women ever so I wonder what brings out those qualities like honor and selflessness in some women and is completely absent in others.
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@julian
What makes these women, I would guess is the fact that they were probably ugly, or at least unattractive to most men. If you were to reflect back on all the women you’ve ever met and if you were to take stock of their personalities and characteristics you’d probably find that it was the unattractive ones who were the best ones to hang out with and were more than likely a pleasure to talk to. But, like most men, I’m guessing that you never wanted to get to know them anyways. Because you didn’t wanna fuck em.
Women who receive constant attention from men have absolutely no reason to develop character. Honour, courage and integrity are useless concepts to a person who gets to eat for free.
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@ Yeah and this love-shy drivel
This has to be a joke. Some type of cuck-to-be site?
http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=8170&start=30
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Anon,
A google ad for some university showed up on the right side of the page…I lolled. The second video on that page is hilarious too.
Julian,
Mother Teresa was no Mother Teresa…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Missionary_Position
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Ever hear of any woman (besides the rare exceptions and outliers) who:
Ran into a burning building to save neighbors after she already safely escaped?
Volunteered for a difficult and demanding task while men were present?
As a famous, wealthy woman, allowed herself to be taken to the cleaners in a divorce? (note that Oprah refuses to even marry her boyfriend of decades, but probably does not hesitate to advise her female audience to push for that ring)
Told you that her word was bond, and that you could bank on her coming through for you?
Examined her own shortcomings with a realistic eye to find out why a guy broke up with her?
Invented something useful in the last 50 years?
Performed any job that was physically dangerous, yet necessary to society (not counting jobs where she is surrounded by other men who do the brunt of the dirty work, like cops and firefighters)?
Accepted the fact that she was physically less capable than men?
Accepted the fact that men are better leaders and decision makers because she is guided by her emotions rather than logic?
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Begby
I was watching Mad Men this morning, and it occured to me that the writers are able to get the interpersonal dynamics down because they have a feel for the underlying fabric of social dynamics – especially how we all vie for status. They have built the wire framework for the plasticine sculpture, so that the piece holds together and is structurally sound.
Most of us men still haven’t built a wire framework for women. We are trying to judge them by our standards, and have a hint at to their habits, but don’t understand their motivations. This is a major handicap in our relations with them, as they seem to know our motivations and when it suits them can use our own reasons against us.
Begby seems still in the anger phase of understanding the beast that is female nature. The reality of it still hasn’t sunk in.
Others like Julian are in the bargaining stage, hoping that we can teach how to be upstanding.
Acceptance comes once you fully grok their motivations and framework and inner structures.
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Begby…the answer is pretty much no on all of the above. It will forever be a man’s responsibility to save the women and children first, and women aren’t going to argue. While preaching equality, they will always concede to men when it’s convenient. I believe only ONCE in my lifetime have I heard a woman accept any responsibility for problems in her relationship with a man. Most women, when acknowledging poor behavior will still point to a man as the cause of it (which is the same as not acknowledging any responsibility at all). Women will always want the flexibility to act on whim, and adhere to no real code. They want all around them to adjust depending on how they FEEL.
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Prime Loser
You want to live your life according to morals?
AHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.
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xsplat,
sure, I’ll admit I’m still in the anger phase, though hopefully transitioning to acceptance soon. It’s pretty hard not to be angry when it really sinks in that you have been told horrible lies all of your life, and that the conspiracy extends to an entire 51% of the population, including your mother, sisters, close friends, and “lovers”. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. Maybe I can forgive women for fucking up the entire Western Civilization with their hateful, toxic feminism, but then again, maybe I’ll just find my revenge in the moist folds of 21 year olds for the rest of my life (as you seem to do).
Yeah, we are all vying for status, I get that…but men tend to do it in a straightforward, honest fashion, where everyone knows the rules that govern the game and therefore it is fair. By contrast, women follow no rules except whatever their whims and emotions tell them at the time.
Acceptance would be easy if this fake equality bullshit weren’t crammed down our throats with a gun and a judge’s gavel. Like everything else, the burden of coming to acceptance falls solely on the man’s shoulders, relieving women of any shred of responsibility.
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I hear you Begby. I’ve come to the conclusion that females have a parallel social system that younger men tend to buy into, and only eventually can grow out of. Those that do grow out of it tend to become the Alphas.
Consider the charismatic group leader – the Jim Jones. He hypnotises us, and it’s a major faux pas to speak up against the lies. Social and peer pressure will keep us quiet, and if we do speak up, we will receive anger. But after you master some charisma of your own, Jim Jones is just another player, and him and his group hold no influence over you. You can instead manipulate him, and others, at your whim.
Most of us are the hypnotised church goers. Very few of us even dream of being Jim.
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Speaking of honor, loyalty, and other specifically male characteristics, I was talking to a female friend of mine when we were out over the weekend. Her boyfriend was ten feet away talking to someone else, and she started asking me if she should break up with him. I won’t go into the details of why their relationship will never work, but that’s the stark reality of the situation.
She told me that she had met someone else and she was conflicted about what to do.
The typical guy in me wanted to say “Bitch, you need to man up and break it off already before you cause any more damage” but the “enlightened” man in me held my tongue because he knows that this is simply the way of the world.
Saying “Bitch, you need to man up!” to a woman is beyond useless. The rationalization hamster is capable of running back to back to back marathons to counteract the feelings of guilt that would be associated with taking blame and responsibility for actions.
We were born into a matriarchal vortex that makes sex easy to obtain and relationships impossible to maintain. The way I see it, western men have two choices:
1) Learn to operate under the current regime, pillaging and plundering as much ass as possible, never settling down, or
2) Spend time in a non-westernized part of the world where there is still some semblance of proper gender roles.
As I near 40 I no monger have the patience to slog through one meaningless sexual encounter after another. Most guys will admit that they might want to settle down “someday”. I think we should be pushing the younger generation to practice self improvement AND game while they are in their 20’s and early 30’s, all the while planning a grand escape when the day comes that they lose the desire to seduce women who are worthless for anything but brief a brief sexual tryst.
You are one of the few people who truly get it.
The reason for this is because the final pill that must be swallowed before one truly “knows” women is especially bitter.
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Damn Begby, you should write a blog.
I wouldn’t get my hopes up about the acceptance part though. From where I stand, things are getting worse every day. I’m not wired to accept a fucked up state of affairs that I’m forced to watch, in silence, as it increases in severity.
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“I’m not wired to accept a fucked up state of affairs that I’m forced to watch, in silence, as it increases in severity.”
Forced to watch, in silence?
If you were to come to SE Asia and date, you would most likely start out like most of us western men, and try to build relationships based on trust and mutual support. And you would get tooled.
Since you have a brain you would eventually learn to turn the tables.
It’s a dog eat dog world. You are either a church goer, or you are Jim Jones. There is no Utopia where there are Good girls who are properly educated and behave well. Never has been. Girls, by nature, are totally unacceptable to men. But once you learn their nature, you can manipulate them like plasticine into something quite satisfactory. As long as you can be satisfied with reality.
Morals are for the communists. Nothing is fair. Nothing is right. That’s fine – we can adapt and enjoy and make useful tools out of what is before us.
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Every time I start to get too angry at women, I must remind myself that the White Knights and Manginas deserve an equal, if not greater helping of scorn.
Men are strong and smart enough to not let ourselves be taken in by feminine solipsism, EXCEPT when we are trampled down by the majority of man-bitches. When you have all women, along with at least 2/3 of men against you then it’s pretty tough to prevail.
Just look at other countries where the men are still men – women still try a lot of crap but they don’t get away with most of it.
I’m about ready to move out of the country but I feel pretty bad about having to leave my home and let it rot. My family on both sides have been in the US since the 1600s, and I feel a sense of ownership and responsibility to this country. A hopelessly outdated sentiment, I know.
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Begby, I know little of the big wide world, but I have a vague impression as to the social structure in SE Asia. Feminity is still admired, and is seen as women’s primary power. Women are still expected to look to a man for support. However it is a highly feminine society, controlled by females.
I have come to believe that this is the default human social setup. Females control the house, and the man. Only rarely is that turned on the head and the man does not become domesticated as a servant to the womans whims.
So it could be that what you are seeing is not only social decline, but the base structure of society – only becoming obvious now since it is a bit off kilter.
The war of the sexes is becoming obvious. That could be an opportunity – and I’m not being polyana.
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“Those that do grow out of it tend to become the Alphas.”
I’m coming to that awakening, and it feels really good. I just get the pangs of regret and resentment that I’m so damned old before I figured it out.
It is an amazing feeling the first time you realize that no man or woman is necessarily superior to you. They all use psychological manipulations to try and make you believe different. The Jim Jones effect you speak of.
I also have a theory that there are a lot of latent alphas out there who behave like betas due to relentless social conditioning. The ones who were impervious to the conditioning are the ones we call ‘naturals’, but most betas have hope to reclaim his natural alpha birthright. Thank fuck for this blog.
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“I have come to believe that this is the default human social setup. Females control the house, and the man.”
It’s hard to disagree with that, since that matches almost all examples I’ve ever seen. It makes feminism that much more galling though, because women have always had a great deal more power than men but it’s behind the scenes. I’ve known a lot of take-no-prisoners CEOs (from my line of work) that were total pussies with their wives at home. There never was a need for feminism unless it was to stand up to true brutality, like Sharia Law or something. Feminism miserably fails to even address the true abuses.
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schfifty5
thanks for the encouragement, I’m working on a blog about feminism. we can all find our way out of this together….
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I don’t think it’s hopeless optimism to say that the war of the sexes is becoming unmasked. Much like the concept of evolution transformed irrevocably how the cogniscenti cognize, the concept that men and women have different agendas and go about achieving them through different aims will transform human relations among the brightest. The fact that women shame men into going along with their agenda will become obvious, and women’s political tactics due to their biological driven instinct to band together as an interest group against men will be counterbalanced.
So this imbalance actually could be swing to a positive momentum.
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I don’t think it’s hopeless optimism to say that the war of the sexes is becoming unmasked. Much like the concept of evolution transformed irrevocably how the cognoscenti cognize, the concept that men and women have different agendas and go about achieving them through different means will transform human relations among the brightest. The fact that women shame men into going along with their agenda will become obvious, and women’s political tactics due to their biological driven instinct to band together as an interest group against men will be counterbalanced.
So this imbalance actually could swing to a positive momentum.
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The root of feminism was born way back in our monkey primate history. Once females realized that they needed fathers to stick around for a bit, they learned they had to control the social structure to shame men into complying, and not just being cads.
Women have this innate political drive to band together and control what society is.
Men don’t have it. It is the rare man who even notices it, let alone rises above it.
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What is being unmasked now is that females don’t seek what they promise. They don’t seek love and familial bonds. They don’t seek mutual support and steadfast loyalty.
They seek support.
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And status.
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The dreams of millions of men have been quashed by false sense of duty. Serve your country! Get married! Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice!
Fuck that. I have come to the realization that if I stay in the states I will never reach my potential as a man.
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“Others like Julian are in the bargaining stage, hoping that we can teach how to be upstanding.”
I wouldn’t say I am in the bargaining stage (not how its framed in that sentence), but I will say I am suspicious of all truth claims that veer to far in one direction. Whether it be feminists or MRA’s, pick up artists or “nice guys”. I slowly adjust the lens of my reality by what I see objectively in front of my eyes as the Truth.
From my view Roissy and the evo–biologists are closer to the truth than the media and what we have been fed in America; on that score I am convinced. However, to what degree ALL women are painted as manipulative, self seeking, status whoring, lying, conniving, cheating, ego-engorged is what I’m still suspicious about.
First off we can all admit that these traits are not desirable traits. To say that ALL women are like that ALL the time is in my opinion someone who is blind to reality or who has had limited dealings with many different types of women. However, I do think that all women exhibit those qualities to some degree as do many men. Another point that I am convinced of is that those qualities are exhibited much moreso in women than in men.
I don’t dispute xpslat’s claim that women primarily (but not only) desire support and status. I would say I am in the ‘bargaining stage’ in the sense that I still think it’s possible to find a ‘better’ women than most armed with the proper principles and attitude and the willingness to move out of the USA. If I do decide to bestow a woman with my status and support you best believe it won’t be with an entitled American princess.
Also, the reason why I would never accept xsplat’s view of women wholly is that he is a cold materialist, at least that’s my impression.
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Even an alleged Super Alpha like Jesse James turns into a sniveling little beyotch when he gets some new poon. Paper alpha. I do wonder though – does he get fat alimony checks from Sandra Bullock? Probably not. But getting alimony from a woman=alpha centauri.
I stumbled on this article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1347681/Jesse-James-Kat-Von-D-fuel-engagement-rumours-star-flashes-sparkling-ring-LA.html
Not only is he getting engaged and putting a fat rock on a tatted, used up slut, but the notable betatude is contained in his tweet below:
“Jesse, who was divorced from Sandra Bullock last June, has made no secret of his love for Kat, 28.
After last night’s event on Twitter, he wrote: ‘thekatvond Baby? You make it so easy to do everything I can to show you how Amazing you are. I see it as clear as a bell. My other half.’
Kat responded: ‘@FreeJesseJames Thank you always supporting me and believing in everything I do. But most of all, thanks for being my best friend.
Notice how the only thing expressed by both of them is supplication to her in the form of support and pedastaling. The exact shit this CR post warns against.
I guess this begs the question. When you are in Super Alpha status like this putz, does it give you a massive beta pass, or did he just use it all up with that one tweet?
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He used it up in one tweet.
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Maxim 1a rolls forth like the thunderous command of God.
What is Maxim 1b?
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“Women turn to God when the Devil will have nothing more to do with them.”
Old saying that pretty much sums up the thread, IMHO.
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When I first heard that Jesse James and Sandra Bullock had hooked up, I thought WOW…that’s a big pull for a guy like him. A tatted-up biker givin’ it to America’s darling. She’s learning what it’s like to get it from a true Alpha, instead of some Hollywood hunk that’s as pretty as she is. Ultimately, being with someone like Bullock may have sapped him of his Alpha power. She had reduced him to a puppy, following her around to awards programs. He became a +1, even though he was somewhat famous in his own right.
I related this to boxing. A fighter signs to fight an opponent that’s a different style of fighter from him. He can’t come at this opponent the way he does most others. He gets into the gym and comes up with a new strategy to take on this opponent. He must temporarily adopt a style that is completely different from what comes naturally to him. He’s fine for the first couple of rounds, then BOOM. He gets hit. What happens to fighters when put under pressure? They forget all that new stuff they worked on in the gym and revert to what they do naturally, even if it will eventually lead to them getting knocked out. That’s what happened to Jesse. Sandra Bullock was a different style of woman than he was normally attracted to (and in a different class altogether), and he tried to make adjustments to be with her. He got caught with a shot (be it being reduced to Mr. Bullock, or her being away too much, etc. etc.) and reverted back to what he knows when he was under duress – tatted-up biker bitches. The chick he got busted cheating with was a tatted-up biker bitch, and now he’s with a more famous tatted-up biker bitch (one who’s fame is more equal to his level of fame). With her, he can perhaps regain his Alpha standing, though the tweet was a bit much. All that soulmate bullshit makes me sick to my stomach.
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@Firepower – “Then, nothing but Dallas Cowboy Quarterback cock is fit for her.”
No she went for Canadian Hockey ‘stick’.
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http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html
this article is correct. you woman NEEDS you to help make her a better person.
Ergo, you must “Beta Up” and help the bitch.
The net result becomes a rat race between the two of you. You can help her, but you better damn well make sure that she never exceeds you.
Ultimate relationship: the two of you grow stronger as time goes on (with you maintaining the upper hand to keep the relationship in line).
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duxbury, I think the crux of the problem is that women are raised to COMPETE with men. Their heads have been filled with the idea that there’s NOTHING they can’t do, even though it isn’t realistic. Thus that rat race you referred to. The problem is most women REALLY don’t want the weight of leading day in and day out. They want to conveniently slide in and out of the role. You notice how women LOVE bossing men around, yet NEVER want to actually do anything? They like playing supervisor. They don’t want to do – they want to instruct. But if men do the same in relationships we’re being controlling.
A good friend of mine engages in this tug of war with his wife constantly. They now have two children, so there are all kinds of logistics that need to be worked out on a daily basis. You need to be organized. She doesn’t want to be the one to draw up an agenda, or budget, or anything that families need to organize their lives. So HE does it. Then of course she takes it and picks it apart and wants to make changes to what he draws up. If she wants to undertake some project that he doesn’t give a fuck about, he tells her to go ahead and handle it…whatever you want to do is fine. It’s all yours. NO. She wants to do it TOGETHER. Basically, she wants it done but wants HIM to do it. She doesn’t want the responsibility. If she takes charge of something, and HE critiques it, he’s being controlling again. She simply isn’t on his level in terms of leadership, yet WON’T STOP FIGHTING HIM ON EVERYTHING.
I believe that it’s difficult within a relationship to NOT support your partner/spouse. It’s one of the reasons you’re together in the first place – to be supportive of each other. But it’s a dangerous thing, because in many ways relationships are a battle of wills, and women are in competition with men (or at least in their minds they are). So when you do anything to help them feel they are raising their status, it’s inevitable they will become more combative. To put a partner through school, only to have them feel they’ve exceeded you and suddenly find you no longer good enough…if you DON’T do it, you’re fucked, but if you DO you’re potentially fucked even harder.
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Me said: “Funny how the ‘he’s beneath me’ epiphany causes them to fall out of ‘love’. Best to just cheat on them all the time. Fuck their sisters. Hell, fuck their mothers too. Fuck her sister then fuck her mother… ”
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Thank you anonymous, I needed that vicarious victory after having the shit depressed out of me reading that shy love website.
That was raw genius.
Even at my worst I wasn’t that kind of pathetic.
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[…] into this little project thingy reminded me of Roissy’s post on, “Why You Shouldn’t Support Your Girlfriend’s Goals.” I was like WTF when I got this opportunity… it is so like that! I was a little […]
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Common hobbies, terrible idea. I could never date another premed without trying to compete with them and shout,”BOW DOWN TO ME!”
If I were to ever marry it’d have to be someone in a completely different field from mine who isn’t a bigshot, clearly.
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I love your transitions and quality. I have been producing for Ghost Writers for a while now, and they pay me good to write blog posts like this, or content articles. I clear $100-$200 on a bad morning.
Judging by your love for written words, you may enjoy doing the same.
It wouldnt hurt to check them out.Here are the details
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[…] mich dann sogleich an den Artikel „Why You Shouldn’t Support Your Girlfriend’s Goals„ bei Roissy […]
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This is completely true. Just follow the link to see what Freida Pinto, star of Slumdog Millionaire, did to her husband after she got famous.
Basically, as soon as she got famous, she divorced the husband that gave her support to get there
http://guanabee.com/2009/02/freida-pinto-ex-slumdog/
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ross…I think you see the famous person “upgrade” phenomenon on both sides, but women are definitely more prone to it. For someone like Freida Pinto, who comes from a culture that is ALL about status and class/caste, it doesn’t shock me. The second she got famous, her husband was no longer good enough for her.
I think in couples where both are famous, it depends on who’s career is hotter. If the guy is hot, he is less prone to divorcing his wife, though his wife may file against him. It’s also easier for him to move on to someone else, because women are quick to try to latch on to a man of his stature. You notice how some famous women simply get passed around from famous guy to famous guy? Once they nab a famous guy, they can’t go back.
What you see some famous women do is marry a man that is in their industry, but not famous. Like cameramen. Julia Roberts and Anne Heche married cameramen. He’s never going to try to compete with her. He may not even continue to work, and simply follow her around like a defacto personal assistant. You’ll also see women marry or date executives in either their industry or other industries. These men have power and influence, but aren’t necessarily famous of want to be famous.
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Olivia Wilde has recently dumped husband of 8 years:
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/tron-legacy-actress-olivia-wilde-splits-from-husband-tao-ruspoli/story-e6frewyr-1226003085569
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Olivia Wilde will no doubt be the next Hollywood starlet to get passed around from famous actor to famous actor. After Ruspoli gets over his disappointment, I hope he can sit back and be happy she left him when he sees her get fucked and chucked repeatedly.
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I know a man who suffered badly after his wife divorced him, took everything he had and stuck him with huge payments.
My friend worked his way out of that financial hole and eventually met and married a lovely woman who, at age 35 was in law school. They were married for several years while she studied and passed the state Bar exam.
My friend said they got notice she passed the exam on a Saturday. The following Tuesday, she hit him with divorce papers.
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