Eliciting Sexual Values

The resident raging SWPL over at OkCupid has a new post up about the best questions to ask on a first date if you want to know something important about your date — that is, something important *to you*, like whether she is the type to bang on the first date. What he and his merry band of politically correct pansies did was correlate viable first date questions — i.e., questions that weren’t too personal, awkward or creepy — with an assortment of variables such as the person’s willingness to go all the way right away and couples’ relationship lengths.

For instance:

Answering “Yes” to the question of “Do you like the taste of beer?” correlates strongly with a willingness to consider sex on the first date. This goes for women as well as men, though seeing as all real men like the taste of beer and the possibility of first date sex, it’s pretty much a question geared toward finding out what depth of sluttiness women are eager to plumb.

If you want to know whether your date has long term potential, you should ask her if she has ever traveled to another country alone. If she has, and you have done as well, then consider it a match made in heaven.

There is a question in that OkCupid post that doesn’t make much sense. If you want to know whether your date shares the same politics as you, you’re supposed to ask her if she prefers simple people or complex people in her life. By 2:1, liberals prefer the latter and conservatives the former. But what does “simple” mean? Simple-minded, or honest? A complex person could just as easily mean a liar or a laconic mystery man. So it may just be that liberal girls prefer unending relationship drama and conservative girls prefer more stable, even-keeled LTRs. Since 90% of hot girls from the age of 15 to 29 are liberal, this means very few bangable women like stable relationships.

In case you haven’t noticed, the topic covered in that OkCupid post is essentially the game concept of eliciting values. A key part of building comfort with a girl you want to bang is getting to know her values and mirroring them, so a deep and profound romantic connection that she thinks is something that “just happened” is actually the result of a calculated effort on your part.

Based on experience, below are some core value eliciting questions that will work on first dates. Remember, a good question must:

a. sound natural or funny,

b. hide its intentions, and

c. trigger a subconscious betrayal of the respondent’s true values.

The value elicitation can be in the form of a routine, or asked as standalone questions. Take care to listen to her answers, because that is going to tell you if she’s up for a same night lay.

“Have you ever chewed gum in church or at a job interview?”

A “yes” means she likes to give blowjobs. Also, if she’s a smoker, she’s a pole smoker.

“Have you ever attended a protest?”

Yes: She’s cheated on exes.

No: Don’t expect first date sex.

“Did you go to the protest to actually protest, or to laugh at the people there?”

Actually protest: she will never cook you a meal and her relationships are paper-thin.

Laugh at the protestors: she falls in love deeply.

“Have you ever worn goofy socks? Like socks with penguins stitched on them?”

Yes: attention whore! Also, likely to play hard-to-get.

“What’s your favorite 4AM food?”

Trick question! If she has had food at 4AM, she is a party slut.

“What’s the one thing you have in common with your parents that you wish you didn’t?”

If she says nothing, she will try to introduce you to her dad within three months of the relationship.

“Is god a he or a she?”

He: She’s telling you want you want to hear. This is good, it shows she likes you.

She: Feminist harpy. Pump and dump.

Neither, there is no god: She’s down for anal.

“Does the thought of breaking into dance in front of a crowd of strangers make you nervous or excited?”

Nervous: She likes to cuddle.

Excited: She’s had sex in a bathroom stall. When she was younger, hotter, tighter. For free.

“When you played hide and seek as a little girl, did you prefer being the hider or the seeker?”

Hider: She likes to be dominated.

Seeker: She likes to poach other girls’ boyfriends.

“What kind of clothing makes you feel the sexiest?”

Cocktail dress: Status whore.

Mini-skirt: Slut.

Ballroom gown: Princess.

Wedding gown: Run.