A Girl’s Tricks For Scoring Free Drinks

Some chick has posted (as of last week) a how-to guide for, presumably, cute girls to score free drinks from suckers betas heedless horndogs virginal aspies men. (Ugly girls have to buy men drinks to get any attention.) It is reposted here with accompanying Chateau editorial comment. Men need to know how to identify these mooches and turn the tables on them.

It’s hard to fault these unscrupulous whores for taking advantage of willing dupes. You’d do the same if you were a hot chick in her prime surrounded by buffoons. So it is in your interest to know the enemy and her tactics, and to surprise her with your deft defiance of her expectations.

Scoring free drinks is easier than you think. Give these fail-proof ways a try, and enjoy night after night of free drinking. Just remember, picking the right guy is crucial. You can’t go for a guy who is there with his girlfriend.

It’s not that uncommon to see beta herbs buy drinks for all his girlfriend’s bitchy friends, and even occasionally female interlopers. That’s how HHHwhipped and fearful they are. (Fear is the path to the beta side. Fear leads to sycophancy. Sycophancy leads to abasement. Abasement leads to grinding dry spells.) So she shouldn’t rule out taken men.

Pick a guy who is chilling near the bar. You can always count on “bros” because their frat bothers will usually be there cheering them on to get chicks.

Nice. But times are changing. If these frat brothers had any sense they would mercilessly mock their bro for buying a drink for a girl he’s not banging. Are we seeing more of that kind of very special in-field bro tutelage? General impression: yes. But still a long way to go.

1. Use intense eye contact. (The most obvious and most important) As soon as you walk in, start by making seductive eye contact with the bouncer to get started. The bouncers are friends with the bartenders, so this can help for next time. Sit by the bar, and look around until you make eye contact with a cute guy who catches your glance. Soon enough, he’ll come over to you, and get you a drink.

She’d do better making eye contact with ugly guys. They would be more grateful for the female attention and thus more amenable to getting thieved. “Cute guys” (and it’s a loose term that when used by women usually translates to “alpha guy who looks more cute than he really is because he behaves in a way that presses all my limbic buttons”) are likely to have more experience with women and their wiles, and won’t be as easy to manipulate with these crassly novice female ploys.

2. Look hot, but innocent. You know the drill. Show off your best features in a sexy outfit and work your stuff. Sadly, batting your eyelashes and flipping your hair still works as well as it did when your Mom was in college. Don’t forget the cleavage.

Any man who has an ounce of pride and self-control (a male trait which is very attractive to women, btw) can stare at a bodacious rack all night without feeling a compulsion to open his wallet and buy drinks for the biological package scaffolding the tits. If you are a man who can’t manage to pass this banal free drink shit test, you need to go back to day one and read through this entire blog. Sadly, you may be a lost cause.

3. If a guy opens up a tab next to you and only orders one drink, casually say, “Isn’t there a $10 minimum?”He knows he’s going to have to spend the money anyways, so he might as well buy you a drink, and possibly get your number.

Her post is interesting for a glimpse into the sheer number of shit test permutations that women can wield. If you get this line, acceptable shit-test busting answers are: “Are you the IRS?”, “I found a loophole”, “You’re right. Can you cover me?”, “That’s what she said”.

4. You’re dancing with a guy on the dance floor and he has a drink in his hand. You say, “What are you drinking?” while casually taking the drink from his hands and taking a sip. Keep dancing and then walk away. He won’t have the balls to ask for it back.

Any girl who grabs for my drink like a spoiled child is going to get disciplined like one. Viable answers: “Pussy juice”, “Dunno. A chick bought it for me”, “Shirley Temple”, “Gasoline”. If she manages to get her hand on your glass, push it away and ask her if her parents raised her to be a grub.

5. Go up to the bartender, point to some random guy, and say, “That guy over there spilled my drink.” Then give him puppy eyes and “remind” him of what drink you had. He’s going to make you a new one.

Do bartenders really fall for this? They tend to be a savvy lot, so it’s doubtful many girls get away with this. Anyhow, this is a risky move for a girl at her regular bar. If the bartender calls her out on her lie, she could be kicked out.

6. Befriend an older man at the bar. Um, hello… old fashioned manners. He’ll have to offer. And you will graciously accept.

Older men are wising up to this as well. Game knows no age limit. But as a personal observation, it seems younger men are more prone to fall for the free drink ruse. Horniness tends to cloud judgement.

7.  You’re sitting down and mingling with a friend, and a guy comes and talks to you. You smile, and say, “Aren’t you going to buy me a drink before you start hitting on me?” He will take this as flirting and will  always agree.

Another permutation of the same old same old shit test. Good answers: “I don’t buy drinks for strangers”, “I didn’t know I was planning on hitting on you” (very subtle neg), “That’s small potatoes. Ill give you a thousand to hit on you for a week.”

The idea is to undermine her free drink angling with the insinuation that she’s not far removed from a common street whore, without coming right out and saying it.

8.  If you have already flirted with the bartender, and he’s already made you a drink, you can try this. After you’ve finished the drink and he’s pouring a drink for someone else, flirtatiously tilt your glass and say, “You know where to put the extra.” If he doesn’t do it right away, give him a few minutes and he will.

Again this is horrible. Any bartender who falls for this is not worth his mixology license or his badboy tattoos. Good answer if she’s a bitch: “On your head?”. Good answer if she’s slightly less than a bitch: “In her glass?”, while pointing at a cuter chick.

9.  FLIRT. Never forget what using your mojo can get you. Talk to a guy for 5 minutes. It’s surprising how little it takes. If he’s looking for some action, he’s going to ask you if you want a drink.

Remember the fundamental law of gender relations: The road to victory is through penis in vagina. Flirting should lead to it, or it’s nothing but ego stroking for attention whores. And as any man who’s lived a day knows, buying drinks for girls is counterproductive to the goal of getting laid. No woman in the world has slept with a guy because he bought her a drink, unless he had compensating alpha factors that nullified the betaness of buying the drink.

10. At midnight, when your buzz is getting low, order yourself a glass of water at the bar, while staring at a guy drinking next to you. Lean in, and wait for the guy to say, “Is that all you’re drinking? You’ll say, “Yeah, but a vodka sprite sounds better.”He will order it for you.

A lot of these grrlpower tips rely upon abject betas setting the traps for themselves. If you have a lick of dignity and a smidgen of understanding about women’s sexual processes, you won’t be asking a girl if “that’s all you’re drinking?”.

11. Tap a guy on the shoulder who is ordering a drink.  Say “how about you order me a drink, and I’ll leave the tip?” He’s not going to make you leave the tip.

Good answer if you just want to have a laugh at her expense: “How about we screw, and I’ll leave the tip?”

Good answer if you prefer the more understated approach that explores the possibility of a pickup: “The bartender’s my friend, so you’d better be ready to leave a twenty”.

12.  Pretend it’s your birthday. If you’re really going for it, wear a crown.  You will probably get a drink “on the house” from the bartender or a guy you talk to will offer.

Never buy drinks for girls. That rule goes double for girls in birthday or bachelorette parties. Or you could put her on the spot and ask what gifts she got for her birthday. It’s fun to watch predatory girls squirm.

13.  Sit down by the bar and take on a bet that you know you will win. After a few minutes of conversation, switch to the subject you want to bet on. Then you can make the bet. Winner buys the drink. Ask him a guy question that a “man” would think he knows the answer to like a question about the 1991 Super bowl. He’s not going to know that you have planned the question.  And you’re talking to him, so he’s not going to care.

The way to counter this tactic is to offer a “best out of five” suggestion. Example: “How about we do best out of five, but I get to ask the last question.” Few girls know much about the hobbies of men. Ask her a question about tube amps or Call of Duty.

It’s not hard to get free drinks; guys just can’t help themselves (the poor schmucks).  Try these techniques, strut your stuff, and you’ll be set. Don’t feel bad; they want to talk to you. And hey, maybe you’ll end up going for them.

The irony in her tricks for getting free drinks from suckers lies in the fact that, although presented as a way to make a possible love connection, free drink buying will actually spoil a woman’s budding attraction for a man. Buy her a drink and you will go home the celibate monk you arrived as. But pass her shit test and don’t buy her a drink, and her eyes will sparkle with growing attraction for your demonstrated alphaness.

No, literally, they will sparkle. It’s weird.