The “I Can Leave If You Want” Shit Test

Some shit tests are encountered so often and from so many different women that they deserve their own category. The shit test in the subject heading of this post is one of them.

Imagine you are at a social venue. It is nighttime. You open two girls mingling next to you, making a funny comment about an accessory one of the girls is wearing. She sidles up closer to you and the game is on.

Five minutes into your conversation, after you have delivered a subtle neg about the hokey accent she is trying to conceal, she assumes a feigned look of indignation and huffily says “I can leave if you want”.

You are a pro at this, so you know it is a shit test. No beta you, obsequiously backpedaling is therefore not an option. What do you say?

***

The above is a real life example of a pickup in action. The “I can leave if you want” shit test has a few permutations. You will likely hear it said the following ways:

“I can go back to my friends if you want.”

“I can leave if that’s what you want.”

“Do you want me to return to my friends?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I can see I’m not wanted here.”

You get the picture. What’s amazing about this shit test is its omnipresence. It’s almost as if girls are genetically encoded to spit out lines worded exactly like those above when they want to know whether the man who is speaking with them is an alpha male. Act contrite for pushing her to say that, and you will fail, branded a bleating betaboy by her hindbrain. But act like she’s full of shit, or adorably bratty, and she will swoon with rising desire.

Note: You will rarely hear this line spoken by any girl less than a 7 in looks. This is strictly a hot girl phenomenon. Ugly girls have gotten too little positive feedback from men to successfully indulge their universal female need for shit testing. They have learned through the harsh instantaneous feedback of the sexual market to suppress their worst instincts, in other words.

Good answers to the above scenario would be:

– Nothing. Ignore and plow. This is my go-to reaction for any over-the-top shit test from a woman. The trick to ignoring shit tests is practicing your poker face. You absolutely cannot allow a hint of a weak, ingratiating smile to slip through your stone cold face. Your smile after she unloads a brazen shit test will be interpreted as guilt. You may smirk, but do so with dark clouds in your eyes.

– “You seem to think you know what I want. Are you a mindreader?”

– “Yeah, your friends are probably waiting for you.” This is a massive takeaway/disqualification. If she is interested in you, she will sulk off, only to return five minutes later. Do NOT follow her, or re-approach her. If you drop this DQ, you have to be prepared to call her bluff. If she is VERY interested in you, she won’t go anywhere. She’ll just give you that open-mouthed wide-eyed stare that cats sometimes get when they catch a whiff of catnip. Only use this line if her friends are nearby and you can motion to them.

– “Are you always this dramatic?” I like this one because it is a powerful reframe. Most girls will bite on this, and you can relax as she insists she is not a drama queen.

– “Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be.” Ambiguity is just another tool in the alpha male’s arsenal of seduction. Again, this is the kind of cheeky conversational red meat that girls can’t resist probing for elucidation. And once a girl is probing, she begins to see you as a mate prospect.

– “We’ll see.” Girls love a challenge, especially one that challenges them to impress men.

Any of the above shit test busting replies should be preceded with a borderline uncomfortable moment of silence, so that she has a few seconds to spin up her hamster while she’s figuring out how you’re going to respond.

Maxim #105: Pregnant pauses are the player’s best friend.

What you shouldn’t say in reply:

“Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”

A lot of guys think this pose of indifference sounds alpha, but it sounds like what it is: a pose. You really want to avoid anything that she could interpret as spitefulness or hurt feelings. If you have excellent body language, you can pull this off, but most guys I have seen attempt the forced pose of indifference come off poorly.

“I don’t believe you. You don’t want to leave.”

Any kind of reply that insinuates she is attracted to you will activate her anti-slut defense mechanism. Once a girl has turtled into her reputation-preserving shell, the pickup is nigh over. Plus, this sort of reply sounds kind of cheesy. Sexually-tinted replies are as liable to backfire as they are to work if used during the first few minutes of a pickup.

***

Know that when a girl says “I can leave if you want” what she’s really saying is “I’m intrigued by you and it’s making me horny, so I need to tell myself that I can walk off without regret, even if it’s not true. I mean, it’s not like I’m a SLUT or anything!”

So much of how women perceive the world and how they interact with men revolves around negotiating with the specter of sluttiness that looms like a double-edged sword over the core of their feminine natures.