Remember some trivial detail about her and recall it many months later, to her pleasant surprise.
“The craziest field trip ever was that picnic last summer at Hyde Park. Poor Terry broke his hand playing frisbee.”
“Yeah, I remember you wore a cute blue and yellow ribbon in your hair that day.”
*shiny, glowy face* “That’s right! You remember that ribbon! Wow.”
Her girl friends, in unison: “Aaaw.”
Congratulations, you just saved thousands of dollars on expensive dinners, clothes, housewares and jewelry, all for the price of a strategically recalled, flattering detail about her appearance.
***
After a certain time has passed in a relationship, a girl wants to feel a powerful emotional bond with her lover. You have established your dominant alpha bona fides, now she wants to see signs of your commitment to her. Most men take the easy route and demonstrate commitment through acts of providership. You, however, read this blog and now know that for the low, low price of zero dollars you can stimulate a rush of emotional bonding by dedicating a little mental energy to remembering something small but personally significant about her, and reminding her of it months later. Multiply the bonding experience by two if you drop your total recall with her friends present.
Emotionally distant men who generally don’t like women for anything more than sex and what they can do for their status at cocktail parties tend to buy off their women’s need for signs of emotional bonding with trinkets and baubles. These are the kinds of women who cheat on alpha husbands with smooth-talking poolboys. You can avert living this one dimensional love life by meeting women you actually like to do stuff with. You will find it easier to remember things about them which you can recall for maximum impact at a later date.
Men who like sharing time and activities with their women, and vice versa, don’t need to drop beaucoup bucks on them to keep them happy. They know the secret to happy relationships is a healthy mix of dominance, teasing, good fucking and shared experiences. One tiny, remembered detail about her — a blue and yellow ribbon from a picnic last summer — is the equivalent in love points of a 10 karat diamond set in white gold.
Many cynical readers of the Chateau often snark that the advice given to men to screen girls during the attraction stage for attributes besides their looks is nothing but a facade of discernment designed to get them into bed sooner rather than later. Partly correct. But their cynicism blinds them to the longer term view. There are real, practical reasons for screening girls for lifestyle compatibility. If she likes to do the same things you like to do, you won’t struggle to keep her entertained; you’ll be entertaining yourself every time you’re with her. Win-win.
Just don’t overdo your commonalities. Imagine your life occupies two worlds: your shared world with her, and your own secret world. She needs both to feel irrepressible lust.
I love doing camping trips, hiking trips, and other outdoor sports/fun with a girl. Removing the glitz and the glam of everyday life helps get to know who she is and vice versa. I find nothing wrong with being a real person who genuinely likes a girl without making her a god.
A 19 year old looker is flying out to see my 27 year old butt on her dime and she can’t wait to go camping with me. We may spend all day in the tent and a night under the stars though 😉
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This almost turns the scripts and goes meta with game itself, like an Advice Tyler Durden type of thing. “Join a gang, clean the streets.” “Break into a house, do the laundry.” “Be a pimp, tell your girl you liked the dress she wore three months ago.” I like it 🙂
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Bring da moviez!
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Skittles be yur friend, too.
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Very true.
Its NOT the ammount of dough spent on gifts.
If a rich man blows a ton of money on his girl that won’t impress her because she already knows he is rich.
If a man of any income bracket blows a large proportion of his income on a gift, she will just think he is a spendthrift pussy who is weak-willed and useless with money.
The old cliche “its the thought that counts” is actually true.
My girlfriend likes to tell the same stories over and over again and she loves it when I finish the story in detail and say “you already told me that one.”
The point about lifestyle compatibility for LTRs should be obvious to everyone – game or no game – but its amazing how guys forget about stuff like that.
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This isn’t roissy.
More Roissy post, and less Citizen posts please.
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Question, sir. Do most women want children in the looooong term relationship? What women can I expect to catch that don’t want little babies in an LTR?
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If a girl likes a guy she will be the very first to tell the guy to cut his stupid expenses on her as she will actually care about his own well being. Sadly, most guys will never listen and just continue to throw money around in a stubborn abandon of reason, signaling deep insecurity about their worth as a human being.
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There is nothing wrong with investing some jewelry to aging trophies. They still need to look respectable at social functions and it saves time.
Not to mention that cheating on alpha husband with pool boys occur after the women’s market value dropped so much that she is no longer attractive to her husband. Highly doubt any husband would care, especially since he would have 5-10 mistresses and army of nannies by this phase.
Well morale of the story is don’t get married or have kids. They cost $250,000 for average households and and over $500,000-$1 million for elites. If invested correctly that could mean a few houses, sports car collection and trip around the globe with your soul mate…
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then theres the other kind of emotionally distant guy whos only willing to share a little of the Haze, Coca, Remy etc and only because it makes bitches nastier and the sex more pleasurable.
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You can avert living this one dimensional love life by meeting women you actually like to do stuff with.
Well, clearly this is a non-roissy post.
Am I being snarky? I’m not even sure.
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T’is true….
Having a memory like an elephant really helps out in cases like these. Most women do. They will remember anything and everything you say, to the syllable. And will repeat it back to you as it suits them. This is the “you said XYZ” shit test. Easy enough to pass.
But there is a very long-term, unspoken, passive shit test for commitment-signaling is exactly as described above–showing that you have a heart, that you give a shit, by remembering some “romantic” details.
This is not easy to fake, and why would you want to? It’s much easier to be with women that you actually want to spend time with outside the bedroom, and thus it’s simple to remember things she said, clothes that she wore that were memorable, etc.
Good post, Chateau.
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LOL I love that Kevin James routine! So funny and it works!
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“for the low, low price”? Bring back Roissy.
“After a certain time has passed in a relationship, a girl wants to feel a powerful emotional bond with her lover. ”
After a certain time has passed in a relationship, move on to the next girl.
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Levy_Spermin wrote, “Question, sir. Do most women want children in the looooong term relationship? What women can I expect to catch that don’t want little babies in an LTR?”
They’ll all want little babies in an LTR.
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You need to make sure you don’t use the memory thing on girls you aren’t in a LTR with.
I have a very good memory and have always found it a DLV. If I meet a girl in a club and then run into her at another club a few weeks later and I remember her name, she will look at me like I’m a stalker. I learnt long ago to pretend to forget details about women so I come off like I don’t care.
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I’ve always though that your personal life and your girl’s personal life should compliment, not complete each other. Like a fine wine that’s grea by itself but even more so when paired with the right cheese. Or like a venn diagram, you on one side, her on the other, meet in the middle.
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I like good conversation.
I like sex with hot chicks.
Hot chicks can rarely if ever provide good conversation.
So I pursue chicks solely with an eye to the sexual pleasure they can provide to me.
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If a girl doesn’t make me chub out when she’s standing in front of me she is invisible to me.
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One more thing:
Screening for trustworthy girls, while possible, requires a large time investment.
Thus, I prefer not to share my personal life with girls.
Some call this “emotional distance.” I call it smart policy.
And really, when sexual pleasure is all you’re after, your personal lives are largely irrelevant.
“Bring the movies.”
[Editor: All fine points as far as they go. But keeping vital aspects of your private life under wraps does not necessitate abandoning emotional closeness. Girls I date hardly know how much I make or the size of my portfolio, and they don’t really care. A tight emotional bond has that effect on women.]
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“Having a memory like an elephant really helps out in cases like these. Most women do. They will remember anything and everything you say, to the syllable.”
I’ve noticed women have the best memories when it comes to things they can bitch about, keeping a full quiver at all times.
Those good times? Not so much. Really. They forget those.
Another good reason for you to remember and remind them continually.
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What’s with all the haters? This is perfectly good relationship-game advice. Remember and apply, to your benefit.
What floors me is that the McDonald’s assault post drew five hundred plus comments in just a few days. Must have hit a nerve, there.
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Let me share the template of what I consider a great relationship with a girl.
Last summer I met a girl at a bar in DC after work. She was deliberately standing close to me, so I knew she was interested.
I clowned her boss a little within earshot of her, which she liked.
We left for dinner. She drove me home and I told her to come back tomorrow night to see “the view” from the roof of my building.
The next day I purchased an $8 white from CVS.
That night she appeared, bearing her own bottle of wine.
We got drunk on the roof, returned to the apartment, and watched TV for about an hour, kissing occasionally. Then she mounted me on the couch.
I led her to the bedroom.
I haven’t gotten back together with her. She was a little too heavy.
To this day, I know next to nothing about her, except that she’s a lawyer.
Cost to me: $8.75. (wine + condom)
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I’d go so far as to say 90% of game is simple target selection. Do lions choose random gazelles in the savanna? No, they carefully choose their targets. Everything is much easier when you are with the right lady who is your perfect match. Know yourself to know your target. Most hottie single girls in their 20’s are single because they choose shitty men. Retail pickups for free sex with emotionally confused and pliable women is a royal waste of time, emotionally soul killing for both parties and just a distraction and hindrance to the real objective and much more difficult endgame challenge: finding ms. right for a viable and satisfying LTR.
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p.s. — Had I found the girl more attractive, I would have pursued an ongoing physical relationship.
I mostly like drinking with girls, as the alcohol numbs me enough to not be bored around them. Watching HBO is OK in the moments before sex.
As for sex, doggy wins, no contest. (So if the girl has long flowing locks, all the better.) I don’t do any soul gazing while I’m banging away inside her.
With these activities as the basis of the “relationship,” forming much of an emotional bond is tough.
If I ever crave more emotional bonding, I will need to change things up. I don’t see that happening though.
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“The Germans wore grey. You wore blue.”
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Amen on that!
Do you know what really do a great favor to this country? Legalizing prostitution as in The Netherlands! That would make men take women on the right perspective and it would help to strip women of their entitlement feelings. Meanwhile follow Leykis 101 rules:
“$40 is the maximum, zero is the optimum”
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“Remember XXX” is a powerful Neurolinguistic Programming word when used in conjunction with a pleasant event.
Taking dance lessons/classes or making this a regular activity is a great bonding activity….something like salsa, even ballroom if that’s your thing.
It has all the elements of attractivion: Leader of men—guys have to lead the woman in social dance.
Protector of women and children: you have to navigate the woman through a crowded dance floor and if she feels “safe” with you she’ll follow.
Preselected by women: If other women in the class or dance floor see you dancing with a woman—not even a hot woman—they all want to be with you.
It’s also physical.
Any guys who are looking for safe ways to meet women should try this.
Every town or city has some kind of social dance scene. If you’re even bascially coordinated you can pull it off.
The women–even the older ones–are generally impecaably dressed, physically fit and have their own money.
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It’s not how much money you have but whether you are smart enough to MAKE/KEEP the money. Mommy taught me. 🙂 🙂
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Invite your intimate girl into your life.
Whatever you life is. I like expensive restaurants sometimes, but more often ethnically interesting ones of mid expense, culturally exploratory foreign travel, sailing, cultural explorations, opera sometimes, and so on. She comes in. I don’t buy her, I invite her to participate, post sex. If I really dig her and she’s still measuring up.
I’ll never give her what she requires. Never ever.
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on April 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm Southern Man
What’s with all the haters? This is perfectly good relationship-game advice. Remember and apply, to your benefit.
What floors me is that the McDonald’s assault post drew five hundred plus comments in just a few days. Must have hit a nerve, there.
It ain’t over honkey.
(just kiddin)
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Yeah I really don’t like women. Even though I remember 90% of what people have told me and what they wear, male or female, I’d withhold it from her out of spite and pure hatred.
How anyone can look at them and think they should start a family when you not only have to manage the family but her every stupid emotion is amazing to me. At some point you have to look the idiot in the face and tell her to grow the fuck up and stop living in fairyland.
Marry a girl who grew up on a farm.
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Some MGTOW (men going their own way) guys stumble onto this board and whine about how it’s too big of a pain in the ass to put up with them. When you mention to them that you can just take what is satisfying, and ignore the rest, they whine about whine about how it’s not good enough that women aren’t in all ways fullfilling.
Ludwig
Yup.
Anyone who has ever run a company knows that you put employees to a task depending on their abilities and inspiration. Rarely will you find an employee with great all around skills. And so it is with women. Put them to the various tasks of fullfilling your various needs. Keeping more than one girl will help you get more of your needs met.
Waiting around for that one girl who does it all is self defeating because the passion can’t be kept fresh forever. You want some rotation going on. Even if it’s just getting a bit on the side after a few years.
You can have a minimalist decorating style and still have elegance and warmth in you room. Same with relationships – you can keep the similarities sparse, and still cultivate tight bonds. Bonds are about fucking and taking care of each other. You don’t need any compatabilities for that.
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Religiously forget important things like her birthday, always remember the small things that seem insignificant at the moment.
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I once gave a girl a present from a dollar store, a stuffed piggy. she was so touched she still sleeps with it to this day
(a one dollar item)
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I never knew that’s how you spelled “beaucoup”. I always thought it was a made-up word spelled like “bookoo” or something. Huh.
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My online alter-ego is 18 feet tall, and has giant wings like an angel’s but also like a demon’s. His name is KARLOR. KARLOR can fuck ANYTHING and WILL and HAS. WOMEN, DEVILS, ANGELS, ANIMALS.
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Even as a hedonist, an emotion connection is essential. It makes the sex much better and longer lasting.
If you have a girl for sex and its just sex it will eventually die.
There is nothing wrong with a relationship like that but for something long term the connection is important.
Excellent post. More of these please and less of the ones that bring out the neo fascists come out of the woodwork.
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Especially nowadays, with two-career couples the norm, if your downtime activities don’t overlap with your wife’s, you’re never going to see each other at all (and she’ll be banging the tennis coach instead). So, yes, pick someone who likes the same stuff you do.
BUT: this doesn’t mean you have to spend every single second together. You’re allowed to have a life.
The exact balance probably varies from couple to couple, but if you’re not doing something together (and by “doing something” I mean “doing something other than screwing”) more than once or twice a week, well, why are you with this woman at all?
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Not having the best memory for details, I got into the habit of scribbling a few notes down about a first date with a girl (what she wore, any moment that might stick in her head, etc.). If I still have her around a few months later, I go back to that to refresh my memory and store it away for future use. “Did you wear that our first date?” typically makes for a very enthusiastic night.
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I’ve spent near 24 hours/day with live in girlfriends who had no other work than what I gave them to do. We had nothing in common, and our only common activities were watching tv and grocery shopping and fucking.
Isn’t hanging out an activity that can be shared?
Why do couples need ANY shared activity? Being in the same room is intimate enough.
I’m not fond of the two income couple scheme. A man needs a full time slave. Preferably a full time live in slave, plus at least one other serious lover.
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[…] var addthis_product = 'wpp-256'; var addthis_config = {"data_track_clickback":true};Yesterday, Roissy posted about “How not to spend a ton of money on your girlfriend or wife: After a certain time has passed in a relationship, a girl wants to feel a powerful emotional bond […]
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To this day, I know next to nothing about her, except that she’s a lawyer.
that’s more than enough information…
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That is nice when a man notices details about you, most of them don’t bother.
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Hmmm… beta submission? http://www.mademan.com/dear-woman-video-does-not-go-far-enough
Horrible! These guys should die.
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If we take less time thinking about ourselves and being less self absorb and fearful about being too vulnerable, there will be more room and energy for connectedness.
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@what: that kind of New Age blather means whatever you want it to.
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I hear ya workshy. However conservatives are also often aware that the human condition includes a love of a good old fashioned buzz of togetherness feelings. Rock concert, tab of exstacy, church hymn, or football hooligan brawl – however you get your buzz, feeling part of something larger feels good.
Liberals extrapolate that connectedness feeling onto social liberalism, which is economically socialist, while conservatives extrapolate it onto social conservatism, which is socially socialist.
Both sides recognize the importance of belonging.
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The_King
There is nothing wrong with investing some jewelry to aging trophies. They still need to look respectable at social functions and it saves time.
Not to mention that cheating on alpha husband with pool boys occur after the women’s market value dropped so much that she is no longer attractive to her husband. Highly doubt any husband would care, especially since he would have 5-10 mistresses and army of nannies by this phase.
Well morale of the story is don’t get married or have kids. They cost $250,000 for average households and and over $500,000-$1 million for elites. If invested correctly that could mean a few houses, sports car collection and trip around the globe with your soul mate…
^ Anyone know where I can find a woman that is ok living this lifestyle?
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Good to have the old Roissy back. (Just filling the quota for such posts).
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Levy_Spermin wrote, “Question, sir. Do most women want children in the looooong term relationship? What women can I expect to catch that don’t want little babies in an LTR?”
Women who’ve already had babies.
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OT, but:
Why is the future King of England marrying a 7?
And why is he marrying a girl older than he is?
He better have a harem on the side, or he will be beta of the decade in my book.
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Marrying a girl while the sex is still interesting is precisely the equivalent of making a grave decision while under the influence of the most intoxicating drug in the world.
Yeah, what could go wrong there?
The chemicals of lust are exactly that — drugs.
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Ludwig,
http://takimag.com/article/why_kate_middleton_is_prince_williams_only_option
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Ludwig,
Being the future queen comes with a lot of responsibility.
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Lara,
Interesting article. Yeah, the Queen has got to be a woman willing to play the game and do the annoying stuff.
Still, he’s going to want to have some strange on the side 6-12 months into this thing.
This is precisely why princes/kings take mistresses.
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Or, conversely, it would be awesome if Kate cuckholded Prince William and had a black baby…
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THAT is the only thing that could top the tarbaby’s uncle being the red-headed product of cuckoldry with Lady Di, The World’s Most Beautiful Corpse.
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It would be bloody hilarious, if Kate had some black gang-banger thug’s kid.
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hahaha definately not roissy as the above readers mentioned, but common this is good stuff!
more guys that read this blog need this when you get readers comin in who are like “durr i’ve been wiht my gf for 8 months and i tell her to fuck off when she says i should put the seat down, am i being alpha enuff?!”
good post.
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There is an inverse relationship between the amount of money spent on a woman and her attraction for you.
If only males knew this at age 15 everything would be a lot better.
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@Alpha Cat
The post you linked to there is satire. You did read more than the page heading, right?
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Yeah, women will remember what they wore. Usually it’s something different from what you remember so you’re just ‘crazy’.
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@ballin365
It really depends how alpha and tiger blood you are. But a good place would be modern Western cities with many career/status/power seeking women like NYC, Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Paris and London… etc.
I’ve talked to plenty of communist officials who have trophy/model wives/families for public image, while having 5-10 mistresses and families living outside the city. The trick is to never have them meet each other and being ice cold.
I know its difficult to you. Poor thing.
You should go watch “Eyes Wide Shut” to see how elites really operate.
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Lol. So simple — funny because guys have such a hard time doing this in the first place.
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Is it that time already,
Good quote. Laszlo was busy rescuing people from the Nazis, while Rick was noticing the color of Ilsa’s dress. Of course she was going to love Rick more.
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What holds me back from being a happy harem member of an alpha male is that you are pitied and looked down upon by a lot of people . . . they communicate that you’re “not respecting yourself” and should demand an ultimatum or leave, blah blah blah. It’s the social censure, not the actual sharing, that is humiliating.
But I cannot be happy with a beta boyfriend. I could have plenty. And I know women far hotter than me (actual models, 9-10s) who have never been able to secure commitment/monogamy from charismatic alphas, so why the hell should I (as a 7-8) expect to get it?
What I want is to be part of a STABLE harem. Unfortunately because of our hangups about monogamy, the only people who combine commitment and polygamy are religious freaks.
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oops wrong post.
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So basically Belle is admitting she’s a nutjob. Well, at least she admits it.
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But I cannot be happy with a beta boyfriend. I could have plenty. And I know women far hotter than me (actual models, 9-10s) who have never been able to secure commitment/monogamy from charismatic alphas, so why the hell should I (as a 7-8) expect to get it?
What I want is to be part of a STABLE harem. …
There really is no such thing, Belle, even for the “religious freaks” (since this is a part of what makes them freaks in the first place).
Here is a nice ‘reality check’ –
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So basically DJ is admitting he’s a beta. Well, at least he admits it.
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@Ludwig
OT, but:
Why is the future King of England marrying a 7?
And why is he marrying a girl older than he is?
He better have a harem on the side, or he will be beta of the decade in my book.”
He’s gay, all the English upper class is. She’s just his beard.
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This is the gold:
Just don’t overdo your commonalities. Imagine your life occupies two worlds: your shared world with her, and your own secret world. She needs both to feel irrepressible lust.
Keep secrets without shame. Be honest in ways that should be shameful.
Don’t care how she reacts. Let her into your world, but don’t be gentle about it.
I took my SO hunting. We were using bows. I tagged a deer. When she seemed squeamish, her SWPL instincts started to kick in. I looked at her with burgeoning contempt and said,
“You wanted to come. Don’t give me that look. Don’t be a baby. It’s disappointing.”
She helped me clean it and process the meat.
She was voracious that night.
We still have steaks in the freezer from that trip.
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@ old guy lower case
http://takimag.com/article/why_kate_middleton_is_prince_williams_only_option/
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[…] – “How Not to Spend a Ton of Money on Your Girlfriend or Wife“, “Women Are More Comfortable Sharing a Lover“, “It’s Easier Picking […]
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