On Bended Knees

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On Bended Knees

April 29, 2011 by CH

Royalty doesn’t wait.

(hat tip: JT)

(caption contest time! any reference to “polishing the royal sceptre” will earn double bonus points.)

Posted in Current Events, Funny/Lolblogs, Marriage Is For Chumps | 107 Comments

107 Responses

on April 29, 2011 at 6:44 pm Steve

Notice how the little girl covers her ears, not her eyes!

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on April 29, 2011 at 6:47 pm JoeBlow

1st

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on April 29, 2011 at 6:49 pm rickb223

“Obbbbghhh” “Mmmgghggghg” “More, my Liege”, “Mmmmmggbbbhh”

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on April 29, 2011 at 6:58 pm Gladius

A mere shadow of Bill Clinton!

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm wtf

Beta chump or alpha? wtf

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:04 pm Salt

It’s a microphone, dear.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:04 pm Eu

Did anyone notice the way she looked away from him in the end of the second kiss while he continued to look at her?

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:05 pm wtf

Where is the “Prince William: Beta Chump” post?? hmm.

Is it alpha to remove your posts?

Not sure.

signed. reader of 3 years.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:07 pm wtf

My bad – search did not find it. Still, I am confused – is this a counterpoint to the previous posting.

I must say I found Kate to be much more beautiful than previously. Of course – no surprise. Seen it on many wedding days before.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:08 pm Geoff

Disgraceful! Won’t someone think of the children!?

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:14 pm Bill

“Now, show my subjects what I’ll be expecting of them.”

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:20 pm xsplat

* Obey!

* Yes, and after you’re done polishing those shoes, make me a ham and cheese sandwich.

* I told you, you’ll get your golden shower LATER!

* Hands AND knees, woman. Now crawl.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:30 pm bransalv

The Royal Penis is clean your Highness.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:33 pm JRN

Since Prince BetaMax went to all the trouble of wearing his snappy little costume, she’s giving him a last glimpse of a position he will never see again.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:38 pm svar

Haha that’s hilarious

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:38 pm Tasteless Build

It was funny until I noticed his genitals would have to be on his knees for the innuendo to work.

[Editor: Hey, maybe the guy just goes the distance.]

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:38 pm Bortimus

I imagine obliging the Prince in that fashion might “head” off a beheading if she fails to sire him any sons.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:47 pm jack

Tour guide:

The crown jewels are located at the base of the tower of London.

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on April 29, 2011 at 7:56 pm DJDamage

She was after the family jewels alright.

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:09 pm Adam

See, I told you taking “obey” out of the vows didn’t mean shit. It’s still in her DNA, sis.

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:09 pm Adam

See, I told you taking “obey” out of the vows didn’t mean shit. It’s still in her DNA, sis.

It’s looks like the beginnings of the Royal Human Centipede.

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:12 pm JB

“I spilled my cum on this other woman. Waste not.”

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:38 pm chi-town

And now for my vow
~~I do~~ Do me

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:38 pm A French guy living in CA

Royal duties.

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:39 pm Tim

Editor: Hey, maybe the guy just goes the distance.

It’s true. Prince William has a 16″ cock…er…so I’ve heard.

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:43 pm Wald

Spit-shining the royal sceptre for ceremony.

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on April 29, 2011 at 8:50 pm jason

“Thank you Chateau!”

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on April 29, 2011 at 9:27 pm chi-town

Love, honor and ~~obey~~fellatio

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on April 29, 2011 at 9:43 pm Anonymous

Crowd: Swallow! Swallow! Swallow!

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on April 29, 2011 at 9:52 pm senseiern

Dudley DoRight’s new wife, Daphney DoItAnyWhere.

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on April 29, 2011 at 9:55 pm bruno

if a woman refuses to vow “to obey” to her husband on the wedding day, the husband should request the opening dance to be “highway to hell”

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on April 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm SBPDL

So, you’re bald down here too?

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on April 29, 2011 at 10:01 pm Finger's Breath

His climax is so loud the little girl has to cover her ears.

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on April 29, 2011 at 10:12 pm colonelcrimson

Will and Kate plus EjacuLATE

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on April 29, 2011 at 10:46 pm Ludwig

Well, I wondered aloud earlier this week why in hell the future King of that country was marrying a 7…who is older than him, to boot.

In these photos she appears older than 29–more like early 30s. The bit about not vowing to obey the future King was just insult to injury.

Yeah, she is willing and able to do the annoying charitable work and public appearance that a princess must…but COME ON, brah.

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on April 29, 2011 at 10:57 pm Anonymous

It’s good to be the King!

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on April 29, 2011 at 11:07 pm Leif

Does anybody else notice the guy to the right of William? Voyeurism.

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on April 29, 2011 at 11:11 pm Anonymous

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on April 29, 2011 at 11:16 pm Reality Check

This picture pretty much captures it all –

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on April 29, 2011 at 11:56 pm Doc

“Choke quieter Duchess, Grace is doing that thing again.”

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on April 30, 2011 at 12:35 am Backdoor Man

I had no interest in the Royal Wedding, but man, that uniform he wore was fucking amazing. Where could I get one of those?

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:03 am Reality Check

“…that uniform he wore was fucking amazing. Where could I get one of those?”

Unusual for it to be red (ie – ‘redcoat’0) – since most of the time, the men of the British monarchy usually wore blue Royal Navy uniforms at their weddings or other formal occasions.

But yes – it is quite a sharp uniform, isn’t it?

*BTW: It’s overall structure and pattern was directly inspired after the mid-19th century Prussian Waffenrock. (Then again, much of the ‘British’ Royal Family is actually German.)

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:15 am walawala

“Don’t worry lover, happens to a lot of guys….”

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:47 am Mr. C

After kissing William, Kate made sure that she also kissed the Royal Willie.

She does have a bit of a manjaw. Will be interesting to see how all this pans out.

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:57 am That Guy

@Backdoor Man/@Reality Check,

According to this article:
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/royal-wedding-irish-theme-for-william-and-katersquos-special-day-15148702.html

The outfit was that of “Colonel of the Irish Guards” – he supposedly had shamrocks on his lapels…

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:59 am That Guy

@Reality Check,

That supposedly sexy pic of Kate is NOT – all I see are boy hips and giant adam’s apple… NOT SEXY

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on April 30, 2011 at 2:07 am That Guy

Caption:
Kid: “Aargh, there’s that SLURPING sound again…”

Prince: (Hand on back of Kate’s neck) Take it ALL bitch!”

Kate: “SLURP…MMMUUUAAAA…”

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on April 30, 2011 at 2:16 am Toby

* Kate Middleton: I would rather BLOW than OBEY you.

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on April 30, 2011 at 2:17 am Toby

* A VOW is a VOW. Now suck it. And suck it good.

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on April 30, 2011 at 2:43 am Leif

“Enjoy it because from now on you’ll have to beg for once-a-month sex with my rapidly decaying pussy.”

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on April 30, 2011 at 2:50 am Wodi

She did look away for a second on the second kiss.

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on April 30, 2011 at 2:52 am That Guy

Caption:

Prince: “You may disobey me, but you will NOT disobey my COCK!”

Kate: “SLURP… GLUG… SLURP”

Kid: “Drop it lo, suck it like a ho!”

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on April 30, 2011 at 5:44 am Serenety

Its spit and polish….bitch

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on April 30, 2011 at 7:04 am Deutsch

Saw the picture yesterday posted on Kate’s profile when 4chan and Ebaum’s World raped it. There were a few other good pictures there too.

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on April 30, 2011 at 8:54 am Simonsen

William is Colonel-in-Chief of the Irish Guards – there are shamrocks on the collar.

I’m sure he chose the Guards’ scarlet tunic (without bearskin) over the RAF uniform which is his “real” job, since that looks like a Greyhound bus driver’s kit.

Good call. Still a beta chump, however.

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on April 30, 2011 at 8:58 am Blessent mon coeur

In yet another homage to tradition that delighted the crowd on the Mall, Prince William invoked Commoner Schlongta, the right of royals to obtain a first, and public, oral pleasuring when marrying commoners, not seen since the last such coupling in the late 15th century. Lip-reading experts reported the Prince assured his bride her first polishing of the royal sceptre “went quite well.”

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on April 30, 2011 at 10:19 am chi-town

love, honor and fellatio

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on April 30, 2011 at 11:00 am VE

“Umm, you know, while your down there, maybe you could, I don’t know, but only if you want to cuz I wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with or that would offend you as a womyn, so its really up to you.”

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on April 30, 2011 at 11:27 am cheetah

the one royal member she couldnt resist obeying

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on April 30, 2011 at 11:29 am jez

Her: “Christ, you wear built-up shoes! I wanna divorce!”

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on April 30, 2011 at 11:56 am john

das right bitch. say ma name! I is da prince!

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on April 30, 2011 at 12:10 pm Minuteman?

“The Redcoats are coming! The Redcoats are coming!”

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on April 30, 2011 at 12:24 pm greyghost

“Yeah, That’s it honey, just Like I showed you.”

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on April 30, 2011 at 12:45 pm PA

seriously tho ur johnson rocks!!

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:16 pm maurice

HA. Not one female comment- no words, eh, ladies?

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:23 pm maurice

p.s. interesting how fickle the crowd is. Yesterday William was a beta chump, and Kate a ball-busting shrew, because of the omission of the word “obey” from the vow (meaningless in context)- but today, after one joke picture, the tables are turned- he’s a royal alpha and she’s a submissive slut-? really? He may be a bit of a drip, like his father, and she a little too prim and proper for her age, but that’s just who they are- what their role as royals calls for. Not otherwise applicable to other people’s lives.

The really interesting thing about the royal threads this week is Harry’s paternity. Sort of a textbook case on the purpose of female infidelity- to punch up a weak bloodline with more hardy and masculine seed. Sort of hidden in plain sight.

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on April 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm Anna

“HA. Not one female comment- no words, eh, ladies?”

RE: wedding.

I am disgusted by the outpouring of toriest sympathies.

When will this clown show get off my google feed?

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on April 30, 2011 at 3:01 pm BJ

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1382162/Royal-wedding-Lip-reader-reveals-just-WAS-said-ceremony.html

If you read through this, a lip reader translated a few conversations between the two. The score for our boy Willy isn’t looking so good.

Almost every time he talks he wants some validation.

“Lets kiss now, okay?”
“Don’t bow just yet, okay? Maybe just your head, okay?”

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on April 30, 2011 at 3:11 pm Gorbachev

Cute.

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on April 30, 2011 at 3:11 pm Georgie Porgie

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on April 30, 2011 at 3:28 pm askjoe

no, I said cover your eyes with one hand while holding her hairback, not cover your ears.

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on April 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm NYCBachelor

http://img220.imageshack.us/i/royalleader.jpg/
http://img10.imageshack.us/i/royaleader2.jpg/

Time for a game of spot the Alpha?

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on April 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm xsplat

Maurice

The really interesting thing about the royal threads this week is Harry’s paternity. Sort of a textbook case on the purpose of female infidelity- to punch up a weak bloodline with more hardy and masculine seed. Sort of hidden in plain sight.

Ah, finally, someone agrees with me that mandatory paternity testing would be foolhardy.

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on April 30, 2011 at 4:47 pm sayed

unreleated

has any one read these books :

Domestic Tranquility: A Brief Against Feminism by F. Carolyn Graglia

The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know — and Men Can’t Say by Suzanne Venker

Feminist Fantasies by Phyllis Schlafly

Undressing Feminism (Paragon Issues in Philosophy) by Ellen R. Klein (Oct 22, 2002

where to find these books free …..!

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on April 30, 2011 at 5:10 pm maurice

Foolhardy at his stage of life, and foolhardy if implemented randomly. But if every name in a “Father:___________” line on a birth certificate had to be supported by DNA test results? Wow, game changer for females. The hamster would quake in terror.

Also, perhaps this is your point, foolhardy for the survival of the species. If nature’s design is that males spread the seed whenever and wherever they can, and females only accept the highest-status seed, then that’s a recipe for improving the quality of the next generation. (here: Harry being purportedly more virile, charismatic, reckless, aggressive, etc. than his tepid half-brother.)

MPT would seriously hinder this, practically, as a mating strategy: it would be virtually impossible to bring the alpha-born offspring into the beta’s nest. Which means that mixing bloodlines in that beneficial way becomes harder. What’s good for the gander (and very bad for the goose) might be bad for the gaggle.

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on April 30, 2011 at 5:20 pm mack

“Your queer father said that if I wanted to be a queen like him then I would have to follow his advice on how to swallow it all without gagging”

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on April 30, 2011 at 5:20 pm Fubsy

“Get your throat into it!”

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on April 30, 2011 at 6:32 pm AS

Look at how Kate and William hold hands?

Who wears the pants in the family?

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on April 30, 2011 at 6:42 pm Nicole

Maurice says, “HA. Not one female comment- no words, eh, ladies?”

:: looks up like “You expect me to answer?” ::

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on April 30, 2011 at 6:53 pm xsplat

Maurice

Also, perhaps this is your point, foolhardy for the survival of the species.

Many commenters here coddle their precious and dainty egos with the belief that those with state control and social skills are retarded parasitic thugs, and that the real ubermen are the salt of the earth betas.

Fact is that Alphas are a required caste in human society, and the crash would crash harder without them.

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on April 30, 2011 at 7:22 pm Lara

“Many commenters here coddle their precious and dainty egos with the belief that those with state control and social skills are retarded parasitic thugs, and that the real ubermen are the salt of the earth betas.”

Actually very few commenters seem to think that way.

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on April 30, 2011 at 9:59 pm PA

“Look at how Kate and William hold hands? Who wears the pants in the family?”

Holy shit, that’s bad. I made an observation on the hand-holding thing on this blog some three years ago, with R. testing and confirming the unmistakable submissive effect of the person with the palm-forward hand.

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on April 30, 2011 at 11:27 pm what

“HA. Not one female comment- no words, eh, ladies?”

(screaming!!!) “Willy, I CAN’T find it!!!!”

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on April 30, 2011 at 11:49 pm Levy_Spermin

Prince Willy is gonna be so sad when he visits his favorite forum again.

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on May 1, 2011 at 12:03 am Gil

“The Royal Penis is clean your Highness.” – bransalv

Aw sick!

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on May 1, 2011 at 12:09 am Realistic

The correct caption is:

“And then the loop goes here…I can’t believe you still do not know how to tie your own shoes, didn’t the Air Force teach you?”

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on May 1, 2011 at 12:24 am PA

A great video and a really good song… with English translation.

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on May 1, 2011 at 1:02 am Dirt Man

Laughing so hard she doubles over, “OMG do you really expect me to suck that!?!?”

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on May 1, 2011 at 1:02 am Champlain

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on May 1, 2011 at 1:47 am theforest

Kate’s adjusting his outfit so pretty boy prince William looks respectable in front of all the adults…

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on May 1, 2011 at 2:06 am senseiern

Kate is picking up the lockbox where she now keeps the royal scepter.

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on May 1, 2011 at 3:14 am Anonymous

the dress she was wearing when he first saw her

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on May 1, 2011 at 8:37 am a girl

how about

“leave us alone, you strangers!”

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on May 1, 2011 at 8:47 am Tap sum bong

Oops…..fruedian slip on prince Williams part…….i mean behaviour.

Little girl with ears covered: I heard it’s pretty loud when it goes off.

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on May 1, 2011 at 10:04 am Jonathan Manor

am i the only person who really didn’t care about a wedding?

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on May 1, 2011 at 11:07 am what

http://www.partnersinrhyme.com/soundfx/human_sounds/human_belch1a_wav.shtml

Oops! ( spoken in a tiny voice )

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on May 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm Mucius Scaevola

Prince William: (Vince-Vaughn-in-Old-School style yelling of) “earmuffs!”

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on May 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm Mucius Scaevola

“make sure the little girls see you swallow, Kate. It’s disrespectful not to swallow, Kate.”

would anybody substitute the “obey your husband” in marriage clause for “swallow your husband daily” in marriage clause?

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on May 1, 2011 at 9:42 pm Reality Check

That Guy
@Reality Check,

That supposedly sexy pic of Kate is NOT – all I see are boy hips and giant adam’s apple… NOT SEXY
__

That Guy,

Oh I quite agree with you my friend — my point of posting the pic was to show exactly what you are saying — that she is no prize whatsoever for Prince William, and in fact she is very unladylike and quite unfit to be a member of British Royalty.

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on May 1, 2011 at 10:48 pm chic noir

Tasteless Build
It was funny until I noticed his genitals would have to be on his knees for the innuendo to work.

guess you’ve never seen those pictures of his brother harry huh.

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on May 2, 2011 at 5:15 am Svigor

(Then again, much of the ‘British’ Royal Family is actually German.)

Myth. Check out N/A’s blog for reality.

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on May 2, 2011 at 5:16 am Svigor

Actually, not a myth, since you did say “much”.

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on May 2, 2011 at 10:52 am salviapt

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on May 2, 2011 at 12:03 pm JAFO

“Yeah that’s it, a little more to the right. No no no, don’t take them off, leave them on.”

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on May 2, 2011 at 9:38 pm Bernanke

Deep-throne.

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on May 4, 2011 at 6:23 pm Fabian

That must be one loud blowjob, considering the little girl is covering her ears…

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on May 6, 2011 at 6:23 pm Rob

“Obey!”

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Chateau Heartiste

On Bended Knees

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