The Testosterone Guide

Testosterone is the life blood of game. If you have low testosterone, your game will wither like parched fescue under a blazing August sun. High testosterone, and your game shines like a supernova. The formula is simple:

More testosterone = more approaches.

And more approaches means improved game and sex with more desirable women.

Your goal as a man, then, is to keep your testosterone level as naturally high as possible.* This post will show you some ways to do that.

I. Lift heavy weights using compound exercises like the squat, deadlift, and bench press

The science is out and the verdict is in: Steady and consistent weightlifting raises baseline testosterone.

One study of nine elite weight lifter over a two year period showed significant increases in testosterone, leutenizing hormone and the ratio of testosterone to SHBG. [2]  The authors concluded that “the present results suggest that prolonged intensive strength training in elite athletes may influence the pituitary and possibly hypothalamic levels, leading to increased serum levels of testosterone”.

There’s a short term boost in T right after a lifting session, and there’s a long term boost in basal T after years of lifting. You should incorporate weightlifting into your life like you do brushing your teeth. Don’t lift every day, though. Overtraining can lower your testosterone.

II. Eat cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts

These vegetables have a phytochemical called indole-3-carbinol which is known to lower estrogen and increase testosterone in men. (It appears to not increase testosterone in women.)

III. Whey protein

You should be drinking a glass of this every day with whole milk.

IV. Don’t sit so much

Sitting for long periods of time may lower your testosterone (and does a bunch of other bad stuff to your body). Elevate your work station and begin standing while working through the day. While I couldn’t find a study that directly references the effect that sitting has on testosterone, the studies about sitting that are available conclude that there are so many deleterious effects on the body from prolonged sitting that it is natural to presume healthy testosterone levels would be negatively affected as well.

V. Go to bed at a reasonable hour

Testosterone plummets when you get fewer than 6 hours of sleep, or you go to sleep late at night, disrupting your circadian rhythm. Get 6-8 hours of sleep each night. Fewer than six hours or more than eight hours is associated with increased mortality. You may want to take melatonin pills to help you fall asleep.

VI. Cut back on the beer

Multiple studies have found that binge drinking cuts T levels. Beer is particularly bad on your testosterone levels.

8-Prenylnaringenin (8-PN) in hops is such a potent phytoestrogen that it has been reproted to reduce menopausal hot flashes! [1] This study points out that some women who pick hops by hand have menstrual disturbances (from the estrogens) and used it to reduce the skin temperative in rats, i.e. anti-hot-flash.  Furthermore, other researchers expressed concern about the unrestricted concern about the unrestricted use of hops in herbal preparations for women because of 8-PN’s “very high estrogen activity”. [2]

This might explain the famed beer gut on heavy beer drinkers; all that estrogen production is working to deposit fat in their middles, [Ahnold voice] like zee girly vimmin mit child!

VII. Eat nuts

Selenium from nuts is good for testosterone production.

VIII. Take fish oil and vitamin D supplements

Omega 3s and vitamin D raise testosterone levels.

IX. Take an NAC supplement (N-acetyl-cysteine)

Up goes your T!, in combo with selenium, at least.

X. Stop running marathons

Extreme endurance exercise lowers testosterone:

The results of the retrospective comparative studies examining isolated, single blood samples suggest lower testosterone levels in chronically endurance-trained males. The subjects in these studies have typically been distance runners who had been involved with the physical training aspects of their sport for 1 to 15 years. In these studies, testosterone levels of the endurance-trained men were found to be 60-85% of the levels of matched, untrained men.

Now you know why SWPL marathon runners look like pasty nancyboys.

***

Testosterone is the enemy of dullness. It is the enemy of marriage and kids. It is the enemy of government, of society, of behaving like a good little poodlecog in the machine. It is the enemy of stasis and soul death.

Testosterone is the fuel of vitality. Of life. When you act to keep it high, you are giving a giant middle finger to all those who would like you to sit down, shut up and follow orders like an obedient bootlicker. There’s a reason betas look so soft — it’s no coincidence that they are likely suffering from low testosterone.

*Steroids is the best way to artificially raise your testosterone, but that subject requires a separate post to explore fully. I’m not an anti-drug crusader. I have no problem with men who want to use steroids to get jacked, or to reverse the decline in testosterone with age. In fact, I believe certain classes of steroids — like deca-durabolin — should be made legal for non-medical consumption. Steroids are like any other drug: smart people can use them without abusing them, to great personal benefit. Stupid people tend to consume drugs immoderately, giving the whole enterprise a bad name.

Your brain on high testosterone:

Your brain on low testosterone:

Any questions?