We already know, thanks to the spiritually enriching wisdom of this blog, that a man should never say ‘I love you’ before his girlfriend has said it. But there’s more.
Reader Shark writes:
Other things to never say first:
“I miss you”
“Let’s be exclusive”
“I want to have children”
These are all right on the money. In fact, the only way a man can say the above and remain optimally attractive to his girlfriend is if a “too” is appended to each. For example:
“I miss you, too”
“I want to be exclusive, too”
“I want to have children, too. Wait… what?”
Better yet, a shit-eating smirk in response to a girlfriend saying any of the above works wonders to beef up alpha allure.
Additional emotional outpourings a man should never say first in a relationship:
“Let’s move in together”
“I was worried about you”
“At least let me know where you’ll be”
“Can I have your work number so I have a way to reach you in case of emergency?”
“I love cats”
“Your farts smell like a bouquet of roses”
The problem with emotional outpourings is that they will be perceived differently depending on the sex of the recipient. When a man hears these things from a girlfriend, he thinks ‘Wow, this chick is into me. The sex spigot is open at full blast!’
But when a woman hears these things unprompted from a boyfriend, she thinks ‘Aw, how sweet, he likes me. Hm. Kinda needy, though, isn’t it? Why are my labia curling inward?’
To a woman’s ears, her boyfriend’s ‘I miss you’ never just means ‘I miss you’. It also means ‘I’m really scared you’ll leave me’, and ‘I’m saying this as part of a passive-aggressive strategy to guilt you into continuing to allow me access to your pussy’, and ‘My god, there’s no way I can get another woman if you decide to upgrade.’ So be careful about not just the timing, but the tonality, of when and how you tell a lover you miss her, love her and/or wish to commit to her. Good rules of thumb:
- Make sure she has said it first at some point in the relationship.
- Wait at least three months into the relationship before dropping any emotional outpouring bombs (EOBs).
- Never drop an EOB before you’ve had sex with her ten or more times.
- Do not drop an EOB right after, or right before presumed, sex. Same goes for the immediate time after a fight. It will sound obligatory and, hence, false. EOBs are best deployed in an unpredictable manner, when she least expects them.
EOBs are inherently beta, and thus must be used with caution. Acts of beta (AoB) are never meant to be avoided entirely — the AoB is, in fact, a critical component of relationship game that helps to solidify a girlfriend’s feelings of comfort and security in your company — but they do need to be utilized with the utmost care, because overuse can happen quickly and *will* degrade a girlfriend’s attraction to you.
Some of you will undoubtedly ask, “Well, what if she never says any EOB first?” If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t consider her anything more than a fuck toy. Additional commitment with such a woman is courting heartbreak. Any woman truly falling for you will wind up blurting out an EOB against her better judgment. A woman in love can’t help herself.
Maxim #26: Women secretly hope that you won’t rob them of the opportunity to make themselves vulnerable before your alpha inscrutability.
This is interesting; not many pick up blogs will touch on maintaining a relationship. Their advice usually stops at sex. How can you calibrate your AoBs. What kind of behavior on her part would warrant an AoB from the man or should they be completely random.
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Happy Mothers day Roissy..I just had to say something so some foo wouldnt come here and say “firs..t”
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I’m 31, and offlate have been giving off this needy vibe to younger girls I haven’t slept with. Because I am older and because of peer pressure, I really want to settle..I guess if I want a girl in to me I should be aloof, so counter intuitive.
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Years into any relationship it is really hard for me to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’. Even when I try, my lips won’t open.
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great post. completely resonate.
the problem here is people have started to believe they are the false thing they’ve become.. if we would only just make the only logical EoB and say ‘hey, are you as fucked up as i am?’
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I would say that “I want to have children” is something a woman should never say first, rather than a man. I can imagine women swooning at a man saying it.
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As I have been dating some younger women lately, I’ve been coming more and more around to your point of view on the need to be more aloof, more assholish with girls in their early 20s. You can get away with a lot more as a girl gets older. Hotness doesn’t seem to matter as much as age, at least in my experience. A 22 year old 6 will scare more easily than a 30 year old 8. It is the young ones that are most sensitive to betaness and need more negs etc.
[Editor: Interesting observation, and one that accords with my experience. Age is the bigger factor than hotness (although hotness is a factor). This probably has to do with women being most attracted to alpha male displays when they are at their fertility peak, which is typically late teens to mid 20s.
So when older women say they prefer niceguys, in a way they aren’t lying — they likely do prefer them more than they did at age 21, and it is this relative change that colors their self-analysis.]
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““I love cats””
Guilty as charged!
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Others:
“I want to meet your parents.”
“Introduce me to your friends.”
“Let’s go on vacation.”
“We should travel together.”
“Can I leave a few things at your place for when I stay over?”
[Editor: Absolutely. In particular, ‘introduce me to your friends/family’ is something a girl will ALWAYS say before you do if she is falling for you. So, men, take your sweet time introducing any GF to your social circle.]
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Men into relationships are pussies. Why frame it into a relationship while it can be framed into a thing that yields profit (i.e. sex)? Or, is it true that most men can’t control their emotions?
[Editor: There are a few historical cases of men falling in love.]
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“Does this bag go with my shoes?”
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My greatest criticism of this blog is that it only works in western countries.
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I have a question.
First, I will describe my situtation. I am a young man in his early twenties. My prior sexual [in]experiece is just as bad as a typical omega’s. However, I’m average looking and not coy around women but have a lot of room to improve, so I would rate my mentality as beta.
I managed to get a date with an acquaintance by employing flattery. While I was having a conversation with her, I said something along the lines of this: “I am currently single and searching for a girlfriend, and I want to go on a date with you. I may not be perfect, so I understand if you’re not interested. In fact, you’re so beautiful, exotic and lovely that you probably already have someone special in your life. And if that is true, I hope he is telling you how special of a person you are. In case he is not, I just thought I let you know.”
She blushed and was flattered. I got her phone number afterwards and we have been speaking on the phone every day.
Anyway, was my approach bad? Should I have used a different way of obtaining her number? If I made any errors, what would you have done differently?
I did a google search for “site:roissy.wordpress.com flattery” but didn’t find a post dedicated exclusively to this subject, so I thought that I would ask here.
[Editor: Ok, first, I’m going to go out on a limb here and air my doubts that you’re likely a hyperbole troll. But taking your comment at face value, I’ll say that flattery of the repulsive unctuous sort that you describe here can, under very limited circumstances, work once in a blue moon. Yours is an example of the Lance Mason school of movie-moment direct game. It can work if a few preconditions are met:
1. you say it with alpha body language and supreme confidence.
2. she isn’t that pretty, or she thinks she isn’t pretty.
3. she’s recently been dumped, or had a fight with her bf.
4. you inadvertently deploy some game concepts within the body of your direct game.
Reading your long-winded conversation snippet (a convo which I doubt you actually said to her face. it reads like something one would instead write in an email to a girl), one thing jumps out at me: you DLVed her BF. ‘In case he is not, I just thought I’d let you know’ is similar to the game concept of indirectly demeaning male competition. An example would be pointing out how guys must have approached her all night with lame pickup lines.
Anyhow, odds are this won’t work out. It’s too cloying, and the glow of your flattery will wear off once she’s back in her BF’s arms. Better odds are your comment is a sophisticated troll operation.]
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blurb,
human nature and the rules of game are universal.
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nestorious,
please expound and explain.
what is game?
[Editor: Charisma.]
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blurb,
Game is the hunting that leads you to trap women. Trapping women is an allegory for the fuck or any similar sexual practices. Game is hunting. Women are your prey. If you don’t at it like that, you never get women. The hunt has many requirements, including the patience that is needed in order to trap the prey. Hunters who are not patient won’t catch anything. An example of not being patient is being needy.
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blurb,
Game is the hunt that leads you to trap women. Trapping women is an allegory for the fuck or any similar sexual practices. Game is hunting. Women are your prey. If you don’t at it like that, you never get women. The hunt has many requirements, including the patience that is needed in order to trap the prey. Hunters who are not patient won’t catch anything. An example of not being patient is being needy.
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nestorius,
but what about love and marriage?
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Completely OT:
Question for betas primarily, but anyone who has a clue.
What’s the story with girls who are 5’s and 4’s?? Are they shagging with anyone? Lesser alphas won’t generally go there I don’t think.
Are greater betas and betas passing up available casual pussy there?
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I don’t mean to pass judgment, but isn’t there something inherently wrong with sleeping with as many women as you can and investing as little into them as possibile?
Doesn’t that leave women traumatized? What about the family, the core unit of society?
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Chateau–
Roissy channeling Athol Kay.
Well to be fair Roissy has always said this when discussing relationship game. It just does come up that often here.
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I’d also like to point out that, historically, it’s been MEN that have been the more unfaithful gender. How many accounts of men having mistresses have we not heard about? Double standards?
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blurb,
For a marriage to succeed a man has to have the love of a woman, not the opposite. Sometimes (in fact, most of the times), after you fuck a woman, the woman will start loving you. Marriage is part of the law of a people. If a people’s law is against human nature and against men specifically, marriage is rather a scam. In such a situation, where every man is on his own, the hunt is the only thing left.
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The Truth–
When you sense she’s feeling vulnerable, left out in the cold, hurt, or that you don’t care about her anymore. Also just occasionally when things are going well. I think too much emotion on the alpha’s part isn’t good though. You’re her rock, with warm loving feelings towards her, not needy emotions.
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Athol Kay’s “Married Man’s Sex Life” is all about maintaining a relationship with a combination of alpha and beta traits.
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“For a marriage to succeed a man has to have the love of a woman, not the opposite.”
Totally! I 100% agree with you on that. But BOTH partners should also love each other.
[Editor: Ideally, yes. But what he’s saying is that a marriage can survive if the wife loves her husband even if he doesn’t love her back, but the marriage is more likely to fail if the converse is the case.]
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Whatever happened to the good ‘ol days when people loved each other and married monogamously and stayed faithful to each other? I mean, I know people have and will always cheat, but two wrongs don’t make a right.
I repeat:
TWO WRONGS DON”T MAKE A RIGHT!
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>I’d also like to point out that, historically, it’s been MEN that have been the more unfaithful gender.
The kind of men who are written about in history books, sure.
How many poor farmers had their pretty young brides willingly poached by landlords is less written about, but well known.
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Completely untrue as many commenters her including me know. There is some slight tweaking that optimizes game in different countries/cultures, but it’s relatively slight. All the stuff in this post should work cross culturally.
Young American hot girls need more negging and less initial comfort than girls from most non Anglosphere cultures do (with it’s heavily female entitlement you go grrrl messages).
Walawala has commented extensive about using game in Hong Kong, Gorbachev in Korea and Singapore etc., Jerry and others in Eastern Europe, a number of about it in the UK, Xsplat in Indonesia, and so on.
Roosh on his own blog writes extensively about using game in Latin America, especially Brazil. Krauser writes about using it in London on foreign girls, and in Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Poland and Croatia.
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Whatever happened to the good ‘ol days when people loved each other and married monogamously and stayed faithful to each other?
“Feminism” and “no-fault divorce” drove a stake right though that.
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Are all these maxims in order someplace?
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blurb,
“TWO WRONGS DON”T MAKE A RIGHT!”
A husband not in love with his wife does not necessarily lead him to cheat on her. Not loving is something and cheating is something else.
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So all you guys are telling that it’s impossible to get happily married and both partners stay faithful?! So you’re saying give up and sleep with as many women as you can?!
[Editor: Did you just bale a field of straw? You’re getting precariously close to troll territory.]
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blurb,
Sleep with whomever you want, it doesn’t matter.
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What if a woman says “Do you love me/miss me/whatever”? Are you supposed to directly say no, or is it best danced around? And if then, what if she keeps pressing
[Editor: That is a great opportunity to be cocky. When a woman phrases leading questions like that, she is actually hinting that she’d like you to answer in a cocky, alpha way. For instance:
*exaggerated expression of yearning, hands clasped to chest* “I miss you SOOO much, my heart bursts like a thousand supernovas! However will I go on without you?” Then slap her butt.]
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“A husband not in love with his wife does not necessarily lead him to cheat on her. Not loving is something and cheating is something else.”
Indeed.
[Editor: Similarly, a husband *in* love with his wife does not necessarily lead him to remain faithful, although it certainly helps. A man can get a jones to boff some strange regardless of his love for his wife.]
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Roissy channeling Athol Kay.
For reasons I won’t go into here, Mr. Kay may be overemphasizing the necessity of cultivating one’s beta traits, at least in some relationships. For younger and hotter women, Roissy’s prescription of inspiring dread may be more germane.
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Say one drops an EoB to his girlfriend after a few too many one night. What is the best recovery?
[Editor: Pretend it didn’t happen. Or, if that’s not possible, tell her it was the liquor talking.]
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what if a girl (i.e. Fuckbuddy) tells you at one point that she feels that the relationship is becoming based on sex (i.e. we only meet to fuck) and that she does not want to continue in that territory because she wants “more”? It has happened to me before. I just ignored her and stopped calling her but I wasnt THAT attracted to her in the first place.
however let’s say I was, perhaps one should use “sweet talk” or “smooth talk” when the women starts complaining that you are too emotionally distant?
[Editor: Keeping FBs in a sexual orbit without investing more into them is a tricky proposition. Most women will eventually want more from the bargain. Only lawyercunts seem immune from this natural female insistence. Just agree with her and continue on as you were doing. Likely you are being too distant, so for the small price of some small AoB (an expression of affection, a dinner out, a five minute cuddle) you can keep her weaned on your cock.
On the other hand, if you aren’t that attracted to her, then you may just find it most convenient to let her disengage from FB status.]
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Blurb,
You ask, “So all you guys are telling that it’s impossible to get happily married and both partners stay faithful?!”
You might win the megajackpot lottery twice in a month and then get struck by lightening. It’s possible, but not likely.
You also ask, “So all you guys are telling that it’s impossible to get happily married and both partners stay faithful?!”
How you deal with the nature of women in an age of feminism and misandry is a choice you will have to make for yourself. I wish this blog had been around 70 years ago. I would have made many different choices.
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“Athol Kay’s “Married Man’s Sex Life” is all about maintaining a relationship with a combination of alpha and beta traits.”
i don’t know why this guy’s rep is so high, i guess it’s because he’s a “safe” game practitioner… as far as i’m concerned, marriage and game don’t mix
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It really isn’t that strange to imagine that women want to really know what you feel or think all the time. Do you imagine they morph into new human beings once they reach puberty? They don’t care when they’re little and they don’t care now. The just like the attention. Then they have babies and feel real love for something, which they do not feel for you.
When she does something at the expense of her baby for her new boyfriend/whatever, it’s her love of the attention from someone she believes is of higher value than herself battling it out with the love she feels for her baby. Not love for you.
And even that love for her baby is tied into the “love” she felt for the baby’s father and his status.
Their every action inspires conflict and war. Play video games and fuck young sluts. Read books. Forget this civilization because it is going down, soon to be replaced by those who will be in our position soon enough, over and over until we’re wiped from the face of the earth.
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“Roissy channeling Athol Kay.
For reasons I won’t go into here, Mr. Kay may be overemphasizing the necessity of cultivating one’s beta traits, at least in some relationships. For younger and hotter women, Roissy’s prescription of inspiring dread may be more germane.”
Yeah the women who would be alright with that, I imagine, are only good women who know their lives are not going to get any better than they are now and are willing to settle, years into their marriage, however stupid that seems. Settling for the man you married when you have kids..amazing.
This is not most women. A small percentage of an even smaller percentage of marryable women.
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(quetal) i think it takes two to tango and have often encountered what you describe above, and these trysts have not subsided ^_^ hence i am led to believe the request for some type of ’emotional bonding’ is false? it is always encountered during ‘renegotiations’ i feel this ‘slut-defence’ thing chateau mentions is responsible for this many times.
we all going willingly into the bedroom and in that sense we’re all to blame. i feel no mercy for posters like blurb and don’t understand their need to swim against the tide here?
i think i see where poster like blurb comes from, as i also would have liked to think i could make an emotional connection with someone (of opposite gender) but when blurb keeps posting ‘2 wrongs don’t make a right’ i just can’t make myself go there.. both genders are doing wrong, blurb.. remember, we males need permission to enter the cock hotel.
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andros – as far a I am concerned mean and marriage shouldn’t mix.
Marriage is slavery for a man.
For a woman it’s a sweet sweet deal
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game advice:
i fucked up and told a chick i gamed that i attend her university when i don’t. i wasn’t even planning on telling her that but when she asked i just said “yes”. i was hopped on caffeine and her beauty short circuited my neurological wiring. my concern is that she probes and finds out im not a student there.
does a man ever admit a lie that he has told a newly gamed chick ? or does he just make sure she never find out. in the day of google/facebook its very easy for someone to find out your identity with a first/last name.
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Why is it that men have to work so hard, against their very natures, to be an asshole aloof/cocky/funny guy in relationships, in order for them not to founder? Why is it that most men default back to beta territory?
I don’t doubt, for a second, that men MUST maintain cocky-funny-aloof asshole status at nearly all times with only tiny bits of beta scattered about, for relationships to succeed. The evidence of such is … overwhelming. But it was not always this way. Old movies, tv shows, are like a time capsule for when most men were beta to the core, and their wives/girlfriends did not find them disgusting.
When did this change (men have to fight against inner beta-ness to stay in a relationship)? Is this sustainable? Why did it change? It baffles me.
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“Old movies, tv shows, are like a time capsule for when most men were beta to the core, and their wives/girlfriends did not find them disgusting.”
Uh, dude, don’t confuse pop culture entertainment with actual history.
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Blurb,
You can be happily married. But listened to what is said here. Go out and fuck like a Buck in the rutting season. Start like a young buck who gets his ass kicked around by the older stronger, smarter bucks. Get your experience: rejection, confidence, patience, strength. Then join the seasoned bucks. Then pursue marriage if you find one that suits you. Marriages can and are tenuous today.
In the end, if you are weak, you will discarded like a used tampon.
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My other criticism of this blog is it doesn’t work if a guy or chic has strict parents.
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@ whiskey:
You have it reversed. Men aren’t rebelling against our nature when being cocky, confident, assholes, or what have you. They’re rebelling against their programming. When I started reading this blog and actually put into practice some of the techniques and principals espoused, it wasn’t like I gained new knowledge, more like I was letting a light shine from within that years of PC society had tried to snuff out, more like I was rmembering something I had already known, but had forgotten long ago. Bloody wars and conquests throughout human history are testament to the fact that men are strong, agressive and fiercly competitive and it is because of, not in spite of this, that women love us. In order to uncover the ruins a lost civilization, you have to do some digging. Pick up your shovel and get started already
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When you say that wait until you’ve fucked her at least ten times. Do you mean 10 times of blowing your nut in her? Or 10 separate occasions (so fucking her twice in an evening only counts as once)?
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Wiskey,
Don’t believe everything you see in those old movies and t.v. shows. Yes, beta men were more successful with women back then, but alpha men did better. Many virgin women married beta men and stayed with them because there were such strong social stigmas against doing anything else (i.e. premarital sex, marital infidelity, pregnancy out of wedlock, etc.).
I think the greatest change happened in the 1960s with the first wave of feminism, the pill, and the sexual revolution. It has been completely downhill since then. Game has become more necessary then it ever was before.
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“Did you just bale a field of straw? You’re getting precariously close to troll territory.”
I don’t think I quite got what you meant, but I am definetely not trying to be a troll.
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I’ve been dating this pretty hot 33 year old for about a year and a half now and she has not brought up marriage. A terrible sign huh? It’s almost like it’s a challenge to me and it has totally fucked my head up. I’m asking myself, “why isn’t this chick begging me to marry her?” I of course will not under any circumstances bring it up. But we’ve been going to a couple weddings recently and in some perverted fucking way it is eating at my self confidence. I keep thinking to myself “why is this chick at her age not begging me to marry her? I’m fucking up somewhere.”
Has me a tail spin. I feel like i’m just a “holding pattern” guy until the right alpha comes along for her to chase down.
Am i fucked? What should i do?
We fuck on a regular basis but she hasn’t been that wet as of late. Do I cheat? Expand my harem? Seems odd o cheat out of insecurity. But her not mentioning marriage seems like a huge red flag to me. I remember that line you put up that said “a girl’s pressure to marry is correlated to her depth for love for you.” Something like that.
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Girls who are 16-22 tend to like me.
When I’m sitting outside with my friends, girls who are friends of friends tend to come to me and say that they dig my hair/my style or ask me if I have a girlfriend.
I think the contrary, girls tend to have more demands the older they become. Girls who are above 25 won’t even look at me unless I could show them my work or my education, while younger girls just see me as a dreamy, handsome and mysterious guy.
I also don’t think girls really are so into manly men.
I’m not a manly man, I have extremely low testosterone levels since I exercise vigorously with running, only eating sushi and vegetables (and just eating dinner every other day due to low income). I am also slender like an elf, have very little body hair and a tenor voice.
In my experience, girls love that, especially artistic, manga-drawing girls who at least here tend to be hot. One of my girlfriends have claimed that I look like an anime character, another one that I’m like a fairy-tale figure with my sunglasses, my hat and my black trench-coat.
I’m also actually very shy in public, and is mostly hanging around in the park or in the library with my friends (who all are 17-25 years younger than myself). I’m hardly ever saying anything in their company, just being with my drawing pad or my MP3 player.
So the question is: Why am I popular amongst girls age 16-22?
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Re: Ari
I guess the question arises: Have you become too beta for her?
Is she gaming you?
There are lots of suggestions regarding long term game on this blog.
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Ari: Do you want to marry her? If she invited you to the weddings, it’s probably some kind of subtle hint… idk.
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Sorry, made a typo… most of my friends are 7-15 years younger than myself…
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Blurb
If you are a young guy with strict parents you are most likely – in this modern world – thru no fault of your own – in an extremely precarious situation. You will discover that young women are nothing like what “strict” parents will have prepared you for. As a direct result, much suffering is almost pre-ordained.
Eventually, you will figure out how things work and will look back with sympathy and mystification at your younger, naive self.. The question is, how much of your life will you have left after all the damage has been done?
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The last (and only) serious relationship I was in the girl spent months trying to get me to say “I love you” and as I wouldn’t say it she would occasionally cry or something but other than that things were good and she was giving a lot of sex and I was really in control of things… The second I said “I love you” (about six months in) things got gradually worse and worse until it ended. Don’t say it.
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“The last (and only) serious relationship I was in the girl spent months trying to get me to say “I love you” and as I wouldn’t say it she would occasionally cry or something but other than that things were good and she was giving a lot of sex and I was really in control of things… The second I said “I love you” (about six months in) things got gradually worse and worse until it ended. Don’t say it.”
No one likes to hear that they’re loved all the time.
One of my girlfriends used to hug my leg, for hours and say that she loved me, wanted to kiss me every other minute and used to send me several hundred SMS a day.
That freaked me out, so I ditched her, simply by stopping answering her SMS. She broke up a week after I stopped returning her call or open the door for her.
I have a problem making relationships last too, my longest relationship lasted four months.
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rum,
yeah, i’m 18. the stuff coming from this blog is kind of shocking to me. i’ve been told that women are innocent angels (with a few bad apples) to be put on a pedestal.
but my question is: if you get in a car or fire accident and become horribly disfigured and disabled, who will take care of you if you’re not in a committed relationship? See? relationships do have their perks.
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@blurb
In that situation you should commit suicide.
And if she does stay with you she will be fucking other men because you can’t do it for her. Don’t be delusional.
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@Whiskey,
I suspect the birth control pill was the biggest factor in changing female behavior. There was a time when women could not fuck with reckless abandon. Those days are over.
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If you get disabled Blurb, won’t the state give you disability benefits?
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“she will be fucking other men”
That’s a HUGE assumption to make.
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“won’t the state give you disability benefits?”
This is America, not Europe where the government practically throws money at you.
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http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Tugboat
Apparently it does.
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The trolls are out for Mother’s Day kicks!
And that “bale a field of straw” comment gave me a solid laugh.
I like this “game is charisma” thing you’ve hit on. It’s the best definition there is.
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Disability benefits are not magic crystals that change the life of a disabled person. And even if they were, his wife would still lose all attraction to him. Staying out of honor doesn’t mean she wants to fuck him. Why would you want a wife who doesn’t want to fuck you?
“That’s a HUGE assumption to make.”
Yes an assumption based on actual observable reality. Most people don’t have the courage of their convictions. They do what they feel like doing and rationalize it after.
Just kill yourself. If you cant because of religious beliefs, then find a child sex ring operator, strap up and wheel in with guns blazing. You’ll go out a hero and maybe take some scum with you.
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“I like this “game is charisma” thing you’ve hit on. It’s the best definition there ”
It’s definitely much more accurate. people hear “Game” and think of “playing..player..cheating.”
They’re disgusted by the idea that other humans aren’t just paper bags in which you can vomit your every emotion and desire. They forget the economics involved in every single interaction between every living organism on this planet.
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The only time to bring up having children with a woman is when you’re raw dogging an SNL. “I’m going to impregnate you with my man child” works very well. No need to mention that you’ve had a vasectomy. It would just spoil the mood. For the record this is what made me conclude that game actually works.
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“Disability benefits are not magic crystals that change the life of a disabled person. And even if they were, his wife would still lose all attraction to him. Staying out of honor doesn’t mean she wants to fuck him. Why would you want a wife who doesn’t want to fuck you?”
I could only answer for myself.
I could probably survive sitting in a wheelchair, but if my face is disfigured by fire I would probably commit suicide, for the simple reason that I won’t be able to look myself in the mirror.
As for being fucked, I actually don’t enjoy having sex. I prefer to lie under the blanket and just hug with my girlfriends sometimes. I think that is cute.
Neither am I bitter if my girlfriend is having sex with other guys. When I am out on summer-barbeques, I use to make out with my friends regardless of my girlfriend is with us or not. That’s just our style, we’re very tolerant and kind people.
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Blurb
First of all, an 18 year old guy should not be thinking “what ifs” that involve total failure ie. horrible disfigurements and disability. Your job in this phase of life is to cross storming oceans and slay dragons. Too many fearful weinie thoughts will keep you from even getting on the boat. You must take some chances. Brace yourself to that reality.
That is all. There is no other point.
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“First of all, an 18 year old guy should not be thinking “what ifs” that involve total failure ie. horrible disfigurements and disability. Your job in this phase of life is to cross storming oceans and slay dragons. Too many fearful weinie thoughts will keep you from even getting on the boat. You must take some chances. Brace yourself to that reality.
That is all. There is no other point.”
Why must he be in some way which he is not?
I’ve recently turned 30, and I don’t have a driving license or ever had any interest in acquiring one. Neither was I ever interested in competitive sports or in dominant, manly things.
I still score pretty much, most often without really trying.
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Wait a minute. Are you saying that I have charisma?
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“I could only answer for myself.
I could probably survive sitting in a wheelchair, but if my face is disfigured by fire I would probably commit suicide, for the simple reason that I won’t be able to look myself in the mirror.
As for being fucked, I actually don’t enjoy having sex. I prefer to lie under the blanket and just hug with my girlfriends sometimes. I think that is cute.
Neither am I bitter if my girlfriend is having sex with other guys. When I am out on summer-barbeques, I use to make out with my friends regardless of my girlfriend is with us or not. That’s just our style, we’re very tolerant and kind people.”
The advice given on this blog is not for cuckolds or men who become swingers because they’ve given up. Or men who prefer cuddling. These men are deranged losers who, when they do get into relationships, are cheated on.
Anyway you’re either full of shit and trolling or a faggot. Lifting weights or eating hormone filled milk and meat are not going to change that.
The person without an ego is no person at all and should not be trusted.
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“The advice given on this blog is not for cuckolds or men who become swingers because they’ve given up. Or men who prefer cuddling. These men are deranged losers who, when they do get into relationships, are cheated on.
Anyway you’re either full of shit and trolling or a faggot. Lifting weights or eating hormone filled milk and meat are not going to change that.
The person without an ego is no person at all and should not be trusted.”
You seem very defensive.
I cannot understand this ownership mentality. I have cheated on some of my girlfriends, and had them break up on me, the result mostly being like this -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9M9HQtb8FE (I also have similar dreamy eyes, mostly because of slip deprivation)
Most often however, I end the relationships I’m in after one to two months, when I lose the interest for the girls in question.
I prefer open relationships. It is best the girl in question is knowing that if someone finds me and I find that person attractive, I’m going to make out and maybe have sex if I have the energy.
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Eric
I am an American.
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““she will be fucking other men””
“That’s a HUGE assumption to make.”
And a terribly dangerous assumption not to make.
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RE: blurb:
If you are serious about yourself, thank God you found this web site so young. Read the old posts on here. Women are nothing like they are portrayed at home, in the movies, or at church. Get out and enjoy women, but don’t even think about settling down with a girl until you are 30+. Marriage is a trap. I think ten years out of school would be a decent time to begin to think about settling down. And, have lots of girl friends before you marry.
And, it is very unlikely you will meet a wonderful girl that you just cannot afford to lose. How would you even know the girl is exceptional until you have had many women?
When I found this web site, I didn’t believe it either. I have since changed my mind. Everything on this web site conforms to my experience, limited though it is. Virtually no experience I have had with women conforms to the pedestalized image they feed us.
What was the pithy comment on a teacup?
“Experience is a dear school, but a fool will learn in no other.”
Sex is a lot like another delicate topic, race. The only people who ever told me the truth about race when I was growing up were labelled as racists. Everything the good people told me was a lie.
People who tell the truth about sex are called misogynists and those who tell the truth about race are called racists. Consider, even now, if a sport caster were to say that black men can jump higher on the air, he would be immediately fired. The same is true for frank comments of the “delicate” sex. We are all supposed to live a beautiful lie. The decay of our urban areas and of the institution of marriage is convincing evidence that things are not what they want us to believe.
Ugly truths are just as true as beautiful truths.
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Question for the men:
1) I’ll be a solid mid forties this year. However, I’ve polled(two Ls) a few “ladies” and they think mid thirties. Even the twenty somethings. I’m built well, tall, and somewhat handsome. The Question at hand is how to get around the age? I prefer politicking around the subject.
2) What do you do when a woman’s pheromones drive you ape shit, kind of like a rutting buck(confused, disoriented), and acting like a beta schlep.
Provide a link to a website that has the topics covered. Thanks.
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@Blurb:
Game is Makeup for Men.
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@ Whiskey: “Old movies, tv shows, are like a time capsule for when most men were beta to the core, and their wives/girlfriends did not find them disgusting.”
You overstated the betatude of these men. Nevertheless, pre-feminism, women understood their SMV and accepted men of equivalent rank.
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If you’re single, you need game.
If you’re courting, you need game.
If you’re married, you need game.
My only regret is not finding this site sooner. It’s moved me from omega to greater beta in two years.
As for the open-relationships advocates, most of them don’t really believe what they preach. They’re just trying to rattle the “squares”: They still think it’s the 60s.
Personally, I wish I’d a time machine and prevent feminism; the counter-culture and the downfall of Jazz. The world was an infinitely better place in 1963 (apart from the commies being around and segregation in the South).
Not so many fat chicks then either.
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Whiskey,
The menfolk in the fifties had smashed two totalitarian empires and faced down the Reds. They’d turned America into the most powerful empire in history, and produced a culture of rare splendour: They had wives who kept themselves trim and groomed, and had home-made dinners for them every evening. (And women were a lot happier then).
They were not betas.
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You thinking inviting your boyfriend to a wedding with you is a hint?? Hmm
Ha – i honestly saw it is a liability, her not talking about marriage, but not wanting to go to a wedding by herself. Usually when chicks want to get married, they talk about it. I don’t know what to think. I think i’ve made some beta moves in the past for sure. I’ve been making a conscious effort to tighten up my game though. Oh well – we will see what happens. I don’t trust women though – odd.
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My husband only tells me he loves me when he’s had a too much to drink. He needs to learn to handle his liquor better.
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From RedEmperor:
“The world was an infinitely better place in 1963 (apart from the commies being around and the impending doom of civil rights.)”
There, fixed it.
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I think “I have a question’ set a record for getting to LJBF status. Most guys take a long time to get there. (Note they talk on the phone, they do not date.)
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Dickie Wang,
There was nothing wrong with the Civil Rights movement.
Now, as for the hippies, it’s a shame they didn’t get sorted out Syria-style.
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@Lara
“My husband only tells me he loves me when he’s had a too much to drink. He needs to learn to handle his liquor better.”
IMO, Alcohol is a truth serum and inhibition reducer. Intoxicated around those you care for you, you will leak out truths.
On the other hand, I’ve had quite a few women jump me when their drunk. What to do. I don’t want them to handle their liquor better. Less inhibition.
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The ‘in vino veritas’ cliche is not exactly right. Alcohol is not so much a truth serum as it is an amplifier of whatever semi-random thought you may be having.
Two drunk dudes who just met at a party and are saying “I love you man, let’s do a road trip” aren’t really best friends. All that’s happening is the booze amplifying their present state of fun chumminess.
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“There was nothing wrong with the Civil Rights movement”
Racial egalitarianism is a prime plank of Marxism, bud. It’s also a pretty lie that can only be upheld by wishful thinking and force. Just like the other ideological planks of our dying, Marxian-afflicted modern culture.
I am not dickie.
I am Dinky Wang.
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For a suitable woman to be even remotely “marriage material” she must Love AND Respect you.
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whiskey,
“When did this change (men have to fight against inner beta-ness to stay in a relationship)? Is this sustainable? Why did it change? It baffles me.”
One overlooked factor is the dramatic reduction in family size. Many of these overly-masculine women were raised that way by fathers lacking sons. Stanley Ann Dunham was ahead of her time.
Likewise with feminized men and their mothers.
As for “inner-betaness”…
Keeping it in your pants and the values that go along with that is no more beta than limited government is anarchy.
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Ari,
Decent chance she’s trying to avoid her own beta move.
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“Keeping it in your pants and the values that go along with that is no more beta than limited government is anarchy.”
Women are trouble and alphas know this better than anyone.
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That “commie” stuff was propaganda dreamed up by the REAL alphas of this world in order to engineer a world power for themselves. And of course the kinetic warfare was, as usual, fought by the poor and ignorant for the benefit of those elite alphas.
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lozozzllzzl
THIS IS GETTING FUNNY! !!!lzozllzzl zlzozozlz
adultery, bastard children, fatty cheating–this is love to women. lozlz
by mccoymountain 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 07:40:19)
UPDATED Sun May 8 2011 07:50:10
women lack a moral soul and compass and thus are able to write this crap.
adultery, bastard children, cheating, lying, fornicating, butthex — this is love & “Romantic comedy” to women. lozlzllz
women are predisposed to sharing the alpha sperm and ignoring the beta nice guy as well as cheating on their fiance and getting him to raise the bastard kid.
what women are not predisposed to are ideals, honor, truth, love in its more exalted forms, myth, and the exalted soul and spirit. and thus they write porn instead of epic, exalted stories centered around moral principles like shakespeare and homer did. zozlzol
women initiate 75% of divorces and 100% of abortions. they replace classical, exalted story with drama, alimony, cheating, adultery, fornication, screwing their best friends, treachery, lies, dishonesty, backstabbing, treason, diloyalty; and then they call all this a “romantic comedy.”
zlozozl
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by TigerlilyBramble_of_WillowBottom 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 09:30:14)
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Women write porn? You’ve gotta be joking. zlozozl
This movie was crap, but men are responsible for probably 99% of porn if we’re gonna get statistical. A man might appreciate an epic story about true love, but he’d honestly probably rather watch strippers or his girlfriend doing another girl, so get off your high horse.
I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution.
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 09:53:23)
women perform 99% of hard core porn.
when they’re not writing soft-core, soulless chick lit porn.
lzozolzlolozolz
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by Heather-331 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 10:15:50)
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And are the females alone in this porn or are there not guys in the porns you watch? But then again….maybe that makes sense for most guys.
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 10:23:47)
lozlzzllzlzzlzlzl
some dudes like other dudes in their porn
byut i don’t like wathcin da cocsksksa
lzozlzlzolzolzl
like look at playboy like no dudes with the chix zlzozlzlzl
it is chcicks who like sharing men not men who like shang chcicksks lzozlz
just like the movie showed lzozlzl
the two lead women shared the alpha male and one of them hooke up witha differnet dude too so the alpha spermazoas could battle it out in sperm wars which women are programmed to intitaite and create so that the str9nges spermazoa can win
i have a phd in eveolutionary biology on case you;re wonenbdering zlozzlzl
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mezobromelia 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 13:31:35)
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You are probably a sociopath, so please do us all a favor and go crawl back into your basement and leave us normal people alone.
What am I going to do with my kids, keep them in my house? Where I live?
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 1 day ago (Sat May 7 2011 13:35:57)
why do u think i am a sociopath? zlozzllz
i will tell you what a sociopath is:
1) have sex with your best friend’s fiance lozzollz
2) cheat on your fiance and get pregnant lzozlzl
3) write a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
4) finance a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
5) act in a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
6) direct a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
7) praise a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
looks like hoolywywoood is deifned by sociopaths! lzozlzlzlozlz
u must be one too! as socoipaths always think that ormal peopelsz are socipaths zlozlzlz like i bet that charles manson cnsidered mother theresa a scoipath zlzozlz
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 22 hours ago (Sat May 7 2011 21:00:18)
lzoozlzzlzozlz!!
pwn3d!!!!
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/science-validates-another-game-concept/#comments
zlozozlzll
adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 11 hours ago (Sun May 8 2011 07:34:17)
another reason you can tell this movie was made/cast by women is that kate hudson was a fat, ugly, bitchy bitch who no man in real life would ever propose to. lzozlzllozzllloz
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by Allyssenn 10 hours ago (Sun May 8 2011 09:09:19)
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You need therapy, dude.
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 10 hours ago (Sun May 8 2011 09:19:14)
actuallylyly i’ll tellz y u who needs threerpaies lzozlzlzozolz
the poeples who need theerrapies are the sociopaths who:
1) have sex with your best friend’s fiance lozzollz
2) cheat on your fiance and get pregnant lzozlzl
3) write a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
4) finance a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
5) act in a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
6) direct a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
7) praise a script celebrating this sociopathness zlzozllz
looks like hoolywywoood is deifned by sociopaths who nee thetoerpeis! lzozlzlzlozlz
u must be one too! as socoipaths always think that ormal peopelsz are socipaths zlozlzlz like i bet that charles manson cnsidered mother theresa a scoipath zlzozlz
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by HeavyHeartToCarry 9 hours ago (Sun May 8 2011 10:07:56)
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You’re a disgrace to humanity. You neither take in the facts nor listen. You’re just one closed minded thing, who is probably a sociopath. Let me guess, you’re going to be like, “No, this is what a sociopath is…” You’ll make another stupid list of yours. Oh, then you’ll say I absolutely must be a sociopath. Seriously, you act like a little kid. Like, “You’re a doo-doo head.”… “No, you’re the doo-doo head!” Apparently, anyone that has a brain is a sociopath to you. ‘lzozlzllozzllloz’ You’re so cool. You must be really successful in life, huh? Hey, how’s your mommy doing? It’s Mother’s Day, so let me guess. You didn’t even have the decency to make her a card, right? Yeah, go crawl back to your hole, you sexist pig.
Oh, and by the way, I am a girl with plenty self respect and integrity. Do you know why you don’t get girls? It’s not because they don’t like the ‘nice guy’. No, most girls love nice guys. Well, at least I do. See, you’re just not a nice guy. So, stop using that as an excuse. You’re extremely rude and disgusting. Why would any girl want to date you? I certainly wouldn’t. It doesn’t mean I’m going to go find another douche bag. I would already turn you down, so why would you think I would want another jerk like you? Oh, that’s right. You’re the nice guy. Sure… You need to sort yourself out, dude. Get some therapy or something, seriously. You need to get help.
“A true leader does what is right, no matter what others think.” – Dumbledore
Re: adultery, bastard children, cheating — this is love to women. lozlzllz
by mccoymountain 8 hours ago (Sun May 8 2011 11:05:33)
UPDATED Sun May 8 2011 12:26:33
lozozlzlozozlz
i get so uch pususysysysyysysyssysys lzozlozozlz
lzozozlzozl
i bet u liked teh movie because
1) you’re fatty fat fat
2) you’re a cheater
3) you’re an adultereter
4) you’re a liar
5) you’re a sociicocpath
6) you’re a fornicator
7) you’d sexy time your best firend’s fiance
just like all the chcix inthe movie lzozlzolzlzlzoz
Re: adultery, bastard children, fatty cheating–this is love to women. lozlz
by kidscientist 34 minutes ago (Sun May 8 2011 18:59:21)
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you may want to look up the word misogynist. and you may want to get some help as well.
Re: adultery, bastard children, fatty cheating–this is love to women. lozlz
by mccoymountain 4 minutes ago (Sun May 8 2011 19:28:32)
only misogiynists could have written such a decrepit movie.
whoever wrote the movie sees all women as selfish, soulless adulterers, fornicators, cheaters, and liars. lozlzlzlzl
boy, the writers of the script really hate hate women to depict them as they are!
lzozozlzlo
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Oh Great and Powerful Roissy,
Teach me the ways of the game. I am serious. Tell me the real truth and the path to enlightenment.
O.K., let me give a little info.
I asked a girl out. She said yes. I cancelled our date by e-mail. Told her something came up.
[Did I do something wrong?]
Well, the real reason is strict parents.
About a month or two later, I tried asking her out again. I bombed. I inadvertently confessed that I cancelled because of strict parents. I looked flushed and nervous (hey, it’s my first time, gimme a break). She even said if I was O.K. Then she walked away. I wanted to properly ask her out.
Well, she’s hooked up with her former boyfriend. However, they break up and get back together really often. I don’t know what to do. She seems to still have some attachments to her former bf.
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p.s. the above is from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0491152/board/thread/182330592
lzoozlzlzozoz
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Her: I missed you. Did you miss me?
Me: Yes, but my aim is getting better… (said with a very serious face)
Cocky funny should always be used in about 2/3rds of the situations, no matter if it’s a LTR or a marriage. You can slip a good hearted response only after you fucked her really good and she is a putty in your hands and is recovering from all the orgasms. Then you can say anything you want and you will be ok. In fact, it’s a prefect time to program her mind to whatever you like your reality to be with her (even better if you do it while she is cumming).
Like, lets say she is cumming and you want her to like anal sex (she doesn’t), so you say at that moment: “Imagine all this pleasure while my cock is in your ass, how good it must feel! My cock sliding in and out of your wet squirting ass, spasming with a big juicy orgasm…”
Works like a charm. Try it.
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It was uncanny how that one chick commenter pegged you as a sociopath, after seeing only a minute fraction of your body of work.
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@GBFM obv.
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I asked a girl out. She said yes. I cancelled our date by e-mail. Told her something came up.
[Did I do something wrong?]
Well, the real reason is strict parents.
About a month or two later, I tried asking her out again. I bombed. I inadvertently confessed that I cancelled because of strict parents. I looked flushed and nervous (hey, it’s my first time, gimme a break). She even said if I was O.K. Then she walked away. I wanted to properly ask her out.
Well, she’s hooked up with her former boyfriend. However, they break up and get back together really often. I don’t know what to do. She seems to still have some attachments to her former bf.
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lozozozlz chekc out how many fans i get in ery fourrm i post in lolzolzozozlozolzol
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0491152/board/flat/182380543?p=1
the 35 million budget was mostly for food for Kate Hudson lzozlzlz.
i mean seriously?
how could you get engaged to an orca whale?
her thundering thighs broke the story as the rumbling in the theater jerked me right out of my seat and right out of the movie.
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Luxx,
“That “commie” stuff was propaganda dreamed up by the REAL alphas of this world in order to engineer a world power for themselves.”
Takes more than one battle to win that war. They have hand for now, but they’ve been beaten before and will be again.
As always, the alpha females will be a key ally, and they’re already turning.
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To questions of “Do you love me…/Did you miss me?”
I’ve tried two approaches and had two very different results.
When I reply with an aloof or cocky response…I get a big smile and more prodding.
When I’ve said “Yes”…It is almost a disappointed reply.
I did have one interesting experience the other day with my girl.
She mentioned some party or event that took place last year before we were going out.
She mentioned that my friends were there…but “Where were you?”
I smiled and looked away….to give the impression I had some secret.
For an hour, she prodded me and laughed.
She genuinely seemed to get more and more excited.
I never did tell her the truth.
At that time I had left the city and was away on a business trip.
The idea I was with some other girl…seemed to her much more intriguing than the mundane truth.
She even guessed “You were away…right…right?”
I just smiled more and tried guiltily changing the subject…
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@Lara,
Further on alcohol… I just went into to local bar to sedate myself. I know bad habit. Who cares.
The bar maid who is usually pretty course towards me, was inebriated. She served me more than I requested and off the cuff offered to take me home. I said thank you. Other events occurred. Then another inebriated lady, chatted me up endlessly. I talked and ignored, enjoying my beer. I left to pursue my next day at work. What to do. Interesting to say the least.
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He: “I miss you.”
She: “You do?”
He: “I need some to play Madden against and the guys are still at work.”
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@desiderius: agree.
@Dinky Wang: The only thing Marxist about the US is that Marx accurately predicted the trajectory, from rise to fall, and was especially accurate with regard to late-stage capitalism. The current stage which we are living though (making it harder to see) is a situation where is takes more and more, to do less and less. Vested interests prevent needed change, resulting in paralysis. It’s all perfectly normal. The frightening thing in our particular case is that during the Empire stage, there was little infrastructure development, nor was there a cultural/intellectual base. So when America’s decline becomes painfully obvious to everyone, it will be a country with only 3 important cities of note (New York, Chicago, San Francisco), and no intellectual class to provide the masses with a post-empire value system. Contrast this to Europe (with its various historical world empires: Netherlands, Spain, UK, Portugal), which are aging gracefully. It won’t be like that here.
Women: ultimately, the problem is that men assume that women have something going on in their heads..they don’t. They appear mysterious due to our over-optimism.
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Luxx:
Women: ultimately, the problem is that men assume that women have something going on in their heads..they don’t. They appear mysterious due to our over-optimism.
They normally do have something going on in their heads. Does it matter? NO. It doesn’t matter what they think. It only matters what they feel and do at this moment.
Women are amazing creatures. If you are a real man, they will show you a real woman for you and will make you happy. If you are real to them, they will make your world a better place. This is where most PUAs fail.
You don’t have to be an amazing talker to get a girl. All you have to do is to be yourself, know what you want and take it… and most importantly, KEEP YOUR FRAME INTACT. IF you don’t like something, say it. If she wants something done, and you don’t, don’t do it because she wants it. IF she wants it and you also want it, reframe it so it looks like you are the leader and you take initiative.
ALWAYS take initiative. ALWAYS be in control of what’s happening in the relationship. ALWAYS have your OWN life, hobbies, interests and friends separated from hers… If you do that, you will never loose a girl because you are a tool beta.
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“Let’s go on vacation.”
“We should travel together.”
If they are paying half, there is nothing wrong with this. I travel a lot and like good travel partner/fuck at the hotel at night.
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I’ve got a good question:
Is having an accent a good thing in attracting women?
I mean, it does seem to add to your sense of mystery. And American women seem to love British/French/Italian accents.
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@Lotez
You can keep your “wet squirting ass” chicks, yuk. My bitch prepares and is scrupulously clean for butthex by having a colonic and a herbal saltwater bath.
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“I love cats”
Dude, I don’t know, see, I do love cats, it’s people I’m ambivalent about.
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I would add the caveat that these things shouldn’t be said first in any serious or romantic lovey-dovey manner, but could work perfectly if said sarcastically.
For example, if a girl says “You know you’ll miss me,” it’d be perfectly acceptable to respond with a fake, overly grandiose EOB like “I will miss you so much I’ll be counting down the seconds until we’re reunited.” Then it’s just the Agree & Amplify method in action.
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“The only thing Marxist about the US is that Marx accurately predicted the trajectory, from rise to fall, and was especially accurate with regard to late-stage capitalism. The current stage which we are living though (making it harder to see) is a situation where is takes more and more, to do less and less.”
Unfortunately Marx didn’t predict late-stage socialism. You honestly believe, overall, Europe is in better shape than the US?
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on May 9, 2011 at 1:39 am old guy, lower case
“I love cats”
Dude, I don’t know, see, I do love cats, it’s people I’m ambivalent about.
————————————————————————
You got that right.
Cats are cool; why do you think the old jazz/blues men came up with that term to refer to each other?
The ultimate alpha behavior is to speak the truth. You wanna make people back the fuck up? tell the truth; especially to a person who thinks they are more powerful than you.
The truth is black and ugly, thats why nobody wants its. Dispense it freely with prejudice and make niggas choke on it.
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What if you’re fucking her and she’s getting it good? Can’t keep silent when having sex, gotta say something.
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Blurb is still in a state of shock with denial. It will take his several days to recover and see the light.
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A woman asked me one time what I have learned from previous relationships. My answer was that “I am very picky”. Never heard from her again. Was this the kiss of death? I’m still at a loss as to how to talk to women, what to say etc. Please help me with this.
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Should a guy ask whether his girl is on her period?
I know a beta asking is opening a can of worms. But, I don’t think an alpha would have the same effect.
My gut tells me that an alpha does not care what the cause of her bitchyness, he just knows her bitchy ways are unacceptable and communicates to her that she needs to make herself scarce when she is acting out of norm. My gut also tells me that periods are something women have used on betas to excuse their over-the-top behavior and say, “You’ve never had one so you wouldn’t understand.”
Periods have been used in temporary insanity defenses for a murder wrap.
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Kingbeef,
You should have tried a cocky/funny response.
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OT:
HP provides Senator Killibrand with a wage-gap soapbox. I invite the readers of Roissy to descend on the article with relentless male logic.
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Alpha (and Beta) is all in the delivery.
The way each gender communicates is often lost on men. Alphas, being Alphas, really have no use to consider how women communicate because they’re being rewarded with pussy regardless. Betas tend to overcompensate with full disclosure and sweeping declarations of intensely considered emotional confessions. What men need to understand is that both sexes communicate differently, accept that and work with it instead of against it. In study after study it’s been proven that women have a far greater, inborn capacity for language and communication than do men. While more than a few women like to wear this as a badge of some kind of superiority, it doesn’t necessarily mean that what they communicate is more important, or how they communicate it is more efficient, just that they have a greater capacity to understand nuances of communication better than do men.
Women’s default is for covert communication. Facial expressions, body language, posturing, innuendo, ‘dirty looks’, all this nuanced subcommunication is part of a woman’s communication process. Ever wonder why you came off Beta when you thought you were throwing strong Alpha at her? Because for women, context is everything in communication. It isn’t what you said, but HOW you said it that communicated something you didn’t intend.
Men focus on the content of what’s being communicated; give us the info to solve the problem. This is the natural Alpha response that all too many Betas deductively think will solve their sex problem. Blurt out all your feelings because women need honesty, and since information is all we know to start from, the Beta presumes a full logical rationality on a woman’s part.
The key to effectively communicating with women is to actively engage their imaginations. Too many men think that getting the hamster to run is rocket science when often all it takes is just an ambiguity, a passing mention of something, a glance or an indirect compliment. Nothing is more satisfying for a woman than to believe she’s figured a guy out using her (mythical) “feminine intuition”. When you overtly, directly, tell her your true intent or outright communicate concrete information, you deny her this satisfaction. You hand her the prize without making her throw the ball and try to knock down all the bottles; and all this does is cheapen the communication experience for her.
This is why, on some level of consciousness she resents the “I miss you’s” or has no true appreciation for the significance of the “lets be exclusive’s”.
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Rollo,
“Actively engaging their imaginations”
Example please.
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Kingbeef,
You took the question seriously which was your mistake. Saying something about women not liking it if you leave the toilet seat up or some other insignificant thing would have been a better way to answer it.
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Thanks Lara. I find that when I use the “non-serious” approach, They think I’m a goof. Then when I just answer truthfully, I’m too rigid/serious. Its like Russian Roulette.
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Why is the statement “I want to have children” even on the list? If she asks the question, it means goodbye. See you later.
Children would only come up if he expects marriage eventually, and then the man would ask if SHE wants children. My feeling from past experience is if the woman doesn’t want children, he should not marry her. Marriage without children makes no sense. Just keep banging her until he has to kick her to the curb. Marriage guarrantees nothing. On the other hand, if children is in the equation and he wants them, marriage will offer some protection although limited.
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lzozlzlzlz
HEY ROISSY YOU ROC!!!!!
The fat cows hamster cowgirls fatty fats at IMBD deleted my briliant post which is above posted above in your comments and immortalzized lzozlzlzllzz !! zlzozlz
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yeah, i’m 18. the stuff coming from this blog is kind of shocking to me. i’ve been told that women are innocent angels (with a few bad apples) to be put on a pedestal.
dude,
go to a classroom in your university and write on a dry erase board 500 times:
EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT WOMEN IS WRONG
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Kingbeef,
Also, telling her you are picky about women and then obviously being into her probably made her think she was something really special.
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@blurb,
pay attention to what attracts women. For example, what about her boyfriend makes her want to go to him? I’m thinking alpha.
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OT
I’m still hoping someone with knowledge on the subject will tell me whether 20 something single girls at the 4 and 5 level are having sex, and if so, with what level guys.
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In 20 years time, the ones who can provide for themselves will rule. Being able give the girl emotional upswings will be cool, but if she’s starving to death, she’ll go to the guy that feeds her. Feminism will be in a sad state. Now, she could get prego with another man, but that’s when the state sanctioned butt-rape that is marriage/divorce will mean nothing in a state of decline. You can dump her on the street if the kid isn’t yours.
Ofcourse, the country will be done, but the feminists and their cohorts won’t have the last laugh.
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The one bit that really resonated with me was the “worrying about you” part. I’ve had 2 relationships end recently after the girl was sick. I would check in almost daily asking how they were feeling, I offered to bring soup to one, I offered to drive the other to a Dr appt because she was going to be getting a treatment that would make her lightheaded.
I was just thinking this morning about how it was weird both ended after they had been sick, then I read this blog post, and now I have a pretty good idea why.
Never again. Thanks!
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The best “I miss you” I’ve ever received was when I had been dating a man for two months and I was gone for a week on vacation. (We were not exclusive, so I’m sure he was not hurting for sex while I was gone.) When I came back, we got together and things started getting hot and heavy, he whispered in my ear “I missed this pussy…”
Now that we’ve been dating for 10 months, random AoB are welcomed, but 2 months into it, there are probably only a few ways of saying it that can promote alphatude. imho, this is definitely one of them.
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Things a man should never say, unless he is a sackless beta:
“Tmason is a genius.”
“Obama is an alpha.”
“Liberalism will save us all.”
“It’s all our fault everyone hates us.”
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Thwack:
Cats are cool; why do you think the old jazz/blues men came up with that term to refer to each other
Because they were high. And none too bright.
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annoyin orange is a friend of the GBFM!!!!
zlzozollz
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annoying orange reminds me of me zlozllozlz
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Any high-value woman with high self esteem who’s seriously trying to tell you she loves you will 100% alienated by a dismissive, humorous response. Why do they need to waste time on someone who isn’t serious when they have loads of options? Fuck, any woman who pulled that shit on a high-value man would be told to hit the bricks YESTERDAY and you know it.
Only the needy, weak, and low-value put up being treated poorly, male or female. How are you ever going to have a good relationship if you’re fixated on “putting her in her place” and being cruel to avoid being hurt yourself?
Oh well, I suspect this won’t be a problem for most of you–loving women with high self-esteem who don’t sleep around are quite rare. Have fun fucking “dumb sluts on the cock carousel”– If you ever came across a good, decent, faithful, feminine woman, you’d never keep her.
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good, decent, faithful, feminine woman
Good luck finding one in the north east.
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@ honeyvagger
“Only the needy, weak, and low-value put up being treated poorly, male or female. ”
I guess that re-enforces the point that nearly all women are needy, weak, and low-value because I have never run across one who wouldn’t put up with being treated poorly by the right alpha. Hell, I’ve never run across a woman with whom being treated nicely did not raise her contempt for the guy.
“loving women with high self-esteem who don’t sleep around are quite rare”
and your succinct summation of the problem is why we are all here – loving women with high self-esteem, who don’t sleep around, are nearly impossible for the average man to marry. You now have to be a super-alpha (vast wealth, fame, or power) to command the respect of such women. Why do you think such women are so rare? What happened to all of the rest of them?
Your evaluation of the situation, again, re-enforces the ideas of the manosphere – women have no integrity and will rarely do the right thing, so they are to be treated like errant children and/or disposable toys.
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What about goth and emo girls?
A lot of them are extremely attractive, and at least here they tend to flock around gamers, nerds, emo boys and goth boys.
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“Only the needy, weak, and low-value put up being treated poorly, male or female.”
you forget those who are guilt-tripped right from the birth. Or maybe that doesn’t count as poor treatment in your world-view.
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Holy crap! Did somebody mention emo/goth chics? I love emo/goth chics! I’m just crazy about them! Oops…inner beta showing again.
lol But anyway, I thought I was the only man in the world who liked them. And it’s such sad news that they’re hanging around losers. Maybe they’re groupies, like sports teams have groupies. Or maybe they’re rich?
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“A lot of them are extremely attractive, and at least here they tend to flock around gamers, nerds, emo boys and goth boys.”
Dude… with even just a little bit of advice from this blog, you’re light-years ahead of those guys. Go meet them. Initiate. You’ll steamroll ’em. They’ll never know what hit ’em.
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“guilt-tripped right from the birth”
A feminist would say,
“Guilty as charged. You are a man. You are found guilty of being a man… Now, who were those guys (alphas) you were around?”
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“A lot of them are extremely attractive.”
Oh, I also forgot. Isn’t that breaking one of the poon commandments:
Never notice a woman’s beauty. Ignore her beauty. Her beauty is a weapon. Disarm it.
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“good, decent, faithful, feminine woman”
I believe those are called an extinct species.
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I once asked a girlfriend what she liked about cats.
She said that cats came and went as they pleased, you had to earn their affection, and even then, they’d sometimes show up to be fed, and then just leave, they were aloof and you never knew how they would react to attention, or if they’d return it.
I replied, “So basically, everything you like about cats is what you complain about in men.”
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“I once asked a girlfriend what she liked about cats.
She said that cats came and went as they pleased, you had to earn their affection, and even then, they’d sometimes show up to be fed, and then just leave, they were aloof and you never knew how they would react to attention, or if they’d return it.
I replied, “So basically, everything you like about cats is what you complain about in men.'”
This should totally be saved. Super-good analogy/advice.
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Roissy,
I’d like your op (in a post so I dont have to go scrollin’) about a guy like me who has good money, good control, fairly good game, but is obese (or perhaps ugly – I think my obesity is the only weak spot about my looks).
And “lose weight lololol” is obvious. Besides that.
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“I want to have children…with some fava beans and a nice Chaiaaanti.”
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@honeybadger
“Only the needy, weak, and low-value put up being treated poorly, male or female. How are you ever going to have a good relationship if you’re fixated on “putting her in her place” and being cruel to avoid being hurt yourself?”
WOW, I’m impressed. More impressed if you’re a guy. Haven’t hear anything like this in this neck of the woods. I agree, but I choose to allow others to find out for themselves, rather making a statement. No words will ever be as convincing as the experience.
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She: Do you want children?
He: what are you? A female pedophile?
She: Do you want children?
He: Only with fava beans and a nice chianty.
She: Do you want children?
He: No, but another woman would be nice.
She: How many kids do you want?
He: Enough for a harum.
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Shoop da whoop:
I’d like your op (in a post so I dont have to go scrollin’)
—your wish is not his command, tubby. Say please to the master. Maybe you’d lose a little heft if you worked your fingers into a tizzy scrollin’.
about a guy like me who has good money, good control, fairly good game, but is obese (or perhaps ugly – I think my obesity is the only weak spot about my looks).
—-same as any man with dsiadvtanges in the sexual market place. Like a short man, an ugly man,a poor man, an asian man (sorry guys)—-realize you’re deficiencies and work hard on game. You’ll get a lot less than most at the beginning, but if you practice your proficiency, you’ll surpass guys without those disadvtanages soon enough.
And “lose weight lololol” is obvious. Besides that.
—ok. lose a lot of weight lololol. Fat load.
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Her: “What did you learn from your previous relationships?”
Him: “Not to fart in bed until after sex.”
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I’m 31 and I’m dating a hot 20 year old Ukrainian girl. I’m old school. I buy her gifts, I don’t watch what I say, appearing weak never crosses my mind and I tell her I like her. I picked her up by saying hello. I simply don’t give a fuck. I don’t believe in game. And she likes me…because unlike the writer of this blog I’m a fucking man …with a purpose beyond women.
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P.S. Was VK the OP?
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My T says “I raw dog / because I want to have kids”. Vulnerability game.
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Things not to say first: Lets share underpants!
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I am mostly hanging around the emos and goths and rpg;ers in my town, even though I’m 7-15 years older than them, and I have been having relationships with lots of teenage-to-early-20’s alternative girls.
They’re also a lot more interesting than prep girls from the university or sport groupies. The goth girls like to talk about horror films, serial killings, death, manga, videogames and other such subjects.
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“Eric Carter
What about goth and emo girls?
A lot of them are extremely attractive, and at least here they tend to flock around gamers, nerds, emo boys and goth boys.”
Those men are better known as faggots. I don’t know what you mean by “a lot” or “extremely attractive.” I rarely see an attractive girl in those 2 categories. And when you do, she’s only attractive compared to the rest of the girls who dress and act like she does.
They hate their faggot emo boyfriends and cheat on them every chance they get because they’re often more feminine than they are.
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the dromedary
I’m 31 and I’m dating a hot 20 year old Ukrainian girl. I’m old school. I buy her gifts, I don’t watch what I say, appearing weak never crosses my mind and I tell her I like her. I picked her up by saying hello. I simply don’t give a fuck. I don’t believe in game. And she likes me…because unlike the writer of this blog I’m a fucking man …with a purpose beyond women.
—————
Really – you don’t believe in game?
You post on a ‘game’ blog, therefore I presume you read it.
Yet you don’t believe in it?
I smell a troll with more pungence than a yeast infected vag.
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“I’m 31 and I’m dating a hot 20 year old Ukrainian girl. I’m old school. I buy her gifts, I don’t watch what I say, appearing weak never crosses my mind and I tell her I like her. I picked her up by saying hello. I simply don’t give a fuck. I don’t believe in game. And she likes me…because unlike the writer of this blog I’m a fucking man …with a purpose beyond women.”
“I naturally exhibit several traits the owner of this blog has tried to teach men they must develop in order to be successful with women, thus proving him right, and am saying he’s wrong because he’s right. I can’t think or analyze anything.”
You’re full of shit or need a hobby.
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“Marxists infiltrated this nation as they did every single fucking nation ever all throughout history, under different names because evil lazy scum will always seek to cut the legs out from under competent people and led this nation to the shit it’s in, therefore, Marx was right.”
Stupid. Just like anyone who believes the incompetent morons in the 3 most decadent and shitfilled states in the nation are going to be able to fend for themselves. No not the self reliant “rednecks”. It’s the faggots in NY. Stupid like anyone who believes Europe is going anywhere but DOWN.
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“Those men are better known as faggots. I don’t know what you mean by “a lot” or “extremely attractive.” I rarely see an attractive girl in those 2 categories. And when you do, she’s only attractive compared to the rest of the girls who dress and act like she does.
They hate their faggot emo boyfriends and cheat on them every chance they get because they’re often more feminine than they are.”
Generalisations.
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@Me,
Oh, but the quality of Roissy’s writing is exceptional. Plus, I agree with him on much of what he says about Western women being damaged by feminism…but i just happen to think that game as it’s taught is a bit clownish and for weak men who should be focusing on developing their intellect and character and just being interesting for the sake of being interesting… and he’s a weak man.
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PA wrote:
@ Whiskey: “Old movies, tv shows, are like a time capsule for when most men were beta to the core, and their wives/girlfriends did not find them disgusting.”
You overstated the betatude of these men. Nevertheless, pre-feminism, women understood their SMV and accepted men of equivalent rank.
—-
I agree with PA. These men were not beta. My father was a WWII vet and a normal guy for the times. I probably cuss more in one day than he did in his whole lift. He didn’t like watching violent movies.
He did however go through the depression wearing a potato sack for clothing because his family had no money. He won several medals during the war as an Infantry soldier.
He was way tougher and more alpha than any 25 year old I see today.
The society was just in better shape back then. Ironically, and probably strangely to modern sensibilities, the men were more alpha and more civilized at the same time. And you could be both. You probably went hungry enough times and saw enough carnage that there was no need to prove yourself to anyone. Being rude wasn’t one-upping your beta competitor, just a sign that you were poorly bred.
Today, by and large, you have push-over betas and arrogant asshole alphas — there is no middle ground — and the women have keyed in on this and prefer the alphas.
PA’s idea that the majority of women back then accepted their SMV at face value is spot on.
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@Blurb
I’ve got a good question:
Is having an accent a good thing in attracting women?
I mean, it does seem to add to your sense of mystery. And American women seem to love British/French/Italian accents.
—-
I have a noticeable southern accent in a west coast city. Women here love it almost as much. Plus, they always associate it with a take-no-shit, DIY, good old boy attitude. Even feminist chicks still take my patriarchal behavior seriously b/c they associate both the South and that belief system as traditional/old fashioned.
Anything novel and different while still being non-beta are a good start.
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On the accent tip, I’ve noticed that the Southern accent – like the European accent – is attractive across all social types of women. Hippies, hipster, SWPL, corporate types, ditzy blondes, tattoo chicks, preppy girls, cougars, etc.
They let a lot of shit fly with that peception, too – swearing, misspeaking, occasional poor grammar, expect less in terms of dress. The dress is huge, too; I’ve started carrying a rather large knife strapped to my work boots (which I wear most days of the week) that I keep tucked under my blue jeans, plain black/white t-shirts, aviator glasses, big belt buckles, leather jacket. Last week, I showed up to dinner at a top shelf dinner joint dressed that way, with her dolled up beyond belief, and all she said was “Wow, you look great”.
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More douchebaggery…
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So according to the douchebag video above, douchebaggery is internalizing all the superficial components of game and having no sense of humor or irony about it. It’s deadly serious peacocking.
And that this works pisses of the non-douchebags, who can’t bring themselves to play that game.
Well, take heart. You can peacock without being a douchebag.
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How do you peacock in a room of peacocks?
Never underestimate man’s ability to miss the point entirely. Or come within a mile of it.
@Simple Man
Yeah you good ol boys can do stuff we can’t because they think it’s fake coming from us and aren’t charmed by what they see everyday.
I think I’m gonna try a Southern accent. Ask where a McDonalds is or something. See where it takes me, with my dirty hat.
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“How do you peacock in a room of peacocks?”
Specialize.
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“xsplat
“How do you peacock in a room of peacocks?”
Specialize.”
Indeed, for in this dance there can be only one dancer who dances till the very end. Do you know who this sole dancer is?
It isn’t a douchebag with bad facial hair to match his horrible hair or a 7′ magician with goggles, that’s for sure.
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“How do you peacock in a room of peacocks?”
“Specialize”
I suggest you don’t peacock in a room of peacocks so you can successfully peacock. you get what I’m saying?
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7 Psychotic Pieces of Relationship Advice from Cosmo
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the dromedary
@Me,
Oh, but the quality of Roissy’s writing is exceptional. Plus, I agree with him on much of what he says about Western women being damaged by feminism…but i just happen to think that game as it’s taught is a bit clownish and for weak men who should be focusing on developing their intellect and character and just being interesting for the sake of being interesting… and he’s a weak man.
—————
Hold on. Isn’t developing your intellect and especially your ‘character’ a large part of what game is all about.
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“The society was just in better shape back then. Ironically, and probably strangely to modern sensibilities, the men were more alpha and more civilized at the same time. And you could be both. You probably went hungry enough times and saw enough carnage that there was no need to prove yourself to anyone. Being rude wasn’t one-upping your beta competitor, just a sign that you were poorly bred.”
Society also treated women differently back then.
Women were held more accountable for their actions and there were consequences to their actions and choices.
Their sense of entitlement was also far more in check than it is today.
Women had less options and less choices and they were probably better for it.
If a woman got knocked up out of wedloclock, she was shamed and shunned by society.
A married woman was expected to do her duty as a woman and as a wife.
The hamster wheel was held in check by the gears of society.
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Me, Anonymous, and Toby, my reading comprehension must be shot, as I’m not able to understand what you are saying.
Not sure if you were disagreeing or agreeing with my comments about douchebagery being effective as a form of game, and that the same peacockery that is douchebaggish can be used without becoming a douchebag, if you keep some humor in your peacocking though.
I guess you’re saying you don’t like douchebags, or something like that.
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So the question is: Why am I popular amongst girls age 16-22?
No, I’m popular with girls age 16-22. Hot girls love the berserker
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You men are not men if you need to play games.
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Bella, are you so hard up for dick that you’re trolling a site for pickup artists?
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Blurb,
Game is the greatest thing that a man can ever learn.
Becoming alpha will be the most incredible experience of your entire life.
Things will happen to you that you think could never happen. Like this.
Women will come out of nowhere breaking social conventions to stand near and talk to you. On the streets, on trains, in clubs, everywhere. They’ll see you with other women and they’ll fixate on you and walk over to you and try to talk to you.
Women will drag you into bathrooms.
When you dump them they’ll apologize profusely and bring you flowers.
At house parties, they’ll literally come over to you and brush up against you and kiss you without any physical exertion from you whatsoever.
Its an incredible life to live.
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Doug
OT
I’m still hoping someone with knowledge on the subject will tell me whether 20 something single girls at the 4 and 5 level are having sex, and if so, with what level guys.
basically everybody is getting laid except you. mmmk b’bye
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@Thwack
“Cats are cool; why do you think the old jazz/blues men came up with that term to refer to each other?”
Exactly, Charles Mingus was a major industrial strength cat fancies, also cats get bad press nowadays ’cause they’ve been “fixed”. When was the last time you saw an adult cat that was not “fixed”, it changes them forever. One of the reason I love cats is we never “fixed” them when I was growing up, Little courageous wild animal that purrs.
Hey folks, stop “fixing” cats, AIN’T NOTHIN’ WRONG WITH THEM.
[Editor: When a male cat is fixed, it grows a flabby gut and becomes neurotic. I shit you not.]
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fancier ( jeeeez I always forget to proofread when I’m drinkin”.)
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things a man should say first:
“i just farted”
“change of plans…”
“i don’t like the way you look in that”
“what’s your friend/cousin/sister/mom’s name?”
“no sex today”
“shut up”
“i just farted again”
“get on your knees”
“you’re paying”
“no im not cheating on you”
“wow thats pretty rotten even for me!”
“nice heels”
“you cooked a great meal!”
“bring your wallet”
“bring your highest heels”
“bring dinner”
“bring knee pads”
“bring the condems”
“bring the camera”
“bring the movies”
Its funny, but it shouldn’t be. If you haven’t said these at least once in your relationship, then you’re with the wrong girl and/or you’ve got some manning up to do
[Editor: Whenever I fart, I like to do that Will Ferrell thing from Elf: ‘Did you hear *that*!?’]
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What is an alpha female?
[Editor: A young hottie.]
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http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2011/05/09/jvm.royal.scandal.hln?hpt=C2
Yeah… western women. Fuck around like bunnies.
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Forward to 1:30 and hear Jack tell it like it is.
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But the strange thing is this : I have said these EOB’s many times, and to be quite honest, I was quite indifferent when I said it, and made no effort to be sincere when I said it, and some women loved it.
Some women told me right to my face that I was a “beautiful man” or that I was “dangerous”
And I could never understand why. I had come out of a bad relationship where I was dumped, and the cynicism was dripping when I was taliking to women …
[Editor: Yah, that’s why I wrote that tonality is important.]
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here is a question from a girl to you guys. when a girl is repeatedly told by her boyfriend that she has exactly the same temperments as his dog ( that dog is big, lazy, very good looking, addicted to food.)
is that enough indication that the relationship is very promising?
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It’s an INSULT– don’t be a stupid cunt. He doesn’t respect you. Don’t you deserve better than an abusive asshole? Ditch that motherfucker and find a real man who doesn’t need to put you down to feel good about himself.
[Editor: Nice parody.]
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that is a way to look at it.
in all seriouseness, how can i tell he is being fun and loving or just being an ‘abusive asshole’? he does love his dog dearly. he never sounds mean when he says that i am just like his dog although sometimes he does speak to me in the same tone, like ‘NO!’ and occassionally, ‘SIT’
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Girl, stop. You’re hurting me.
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don’t mean to be obtuse. this is really a sincere query. and the dog is a golden retriever.
[Editor: If you’re slender, he’s paying you a compliment. If you’re fat, he’s insulting you. Hope this helps.]
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Aw, well… I always say, if anyone’s obtuse, it’s me, not you. After all, look at what I did. 😉 But I’m pretty sure they are sincere in their answer. You don’t need to keep asking. Now it’s just up to you to decide what to do with their opinions. Good luck 🙂
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@a girl:
Do you sometimes lay on the floor and lick your own butt? This could be a contributing factor.
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thanks, editor, imagm, and jj. this is very helpful.
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I’ve been dating a surgeon for nearly 6 months. ‘The talk’ has not happened yet. I’m too proud to show any signs of neediness. So, we have reached stalement. Is this the awesome result you were looking for? You alpha males are bizarre. It’s damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Well, I’m riding this one out and I’m not going to be the first one to break. In the meantime, I go on dates with other eligible bachelors who ask me out, to avoid being clingy and needy and to keep my options open ‘just in case’. I’ll let you know what the surgeon does.
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@Alex:
A dollar says you’re not the only woman your surgeon is dating.
Moreover, I think your pledge “not to be the first one to break” will likely prove a losing strategy for you. Why? Simple. You’re viewing a male’s behavior through your female lens. He’s a high-value male. He’s likely dating/sexing more than one woman. He’s not under any unbearable pressure to shut down his (small?) harem and limit himself to only one woman.
You picking up what I’m laying down? To him, the situation isn’t broken. Why should he go fixing it? Things are just ducky as is.
PS- Your comment about dating “other eligible bachelors….to avoid being clingy and needy” shows your true disposition in this matter. You want him to yourself. Bad. And if I can sense that, then he likely does as well. Which is why shit-testing him by subtly or “accidentally” letting him know that you date other men will probably be ineffective.
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Seems like a man bringing up the topic of moving in together would be him taking the initiative, no? Same for being exclusive, marriage proposal, etc. A woman who does this first takes away the power from her partner.
[Editor: Not at all. A woman who does this first, i.e. moving the relationship forward through its rites of passage, is implicitly admitting that her boyfriend is dragging his feet, and foot-dragging is always done by the higher value partner.]
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Doug
OT
I’m still hoping someone with knowledge on the subject will tell me whether 20 something single girls at the 4 and 5 level are having sex, and if so, with what level guys.
Of course they’re having sex. Any woman who wants it can have it, maybe not with the guy of her choice but w/ someone. 4s or 5s are doing it with all levels of men.
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I’ve been dating a surgeon for nearly 6 months. ‘The talk’ has not happened yet. I’m too proud to show any signs of neediness. So, we have reached stalement. Is this the awesome result you were looking for?
stalemate isn’t as preferable as winning, but it’s better than losing. stalemates are only hated by those who feel entitled to the victory.
you are the one who’s perceiving this ‘stalemate’ as bad, not him, because it is your expectation that the relationship should be moving forward in some manner.
the surgeon is banging other women on the side. you are just another holster for his flesh cannon, so the fact that ‘the talk’ hasn’t come up isn’t a bad thing for him. when he gets bored of you, he’ll dump you.
for him, life’s good.
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Yes, Alex, some guys religiously avoid commitment that limits their options. Why have-to-do what a wife tells you, when you can be a free bachelor with several loving mates?
As for what games you can play to change the rules, sooner or later you will try brinksmanship. If the guy is smooth he’ll know how to maintain his frame and ignore your brinksmanship and suck you right back in.
His game will be to keep you hooked, on his terms, for as long as possible.
If he’s good the only way you can win also is to fit into life on his terms.
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Last night:
“I saw pictures of her in her office on her facebook! Was she in your office?”
“It’s not important. I have a heart like the sun. The sun shines on all houses. You want to be angry at the sun for shining on other houses. It doesn’t matter.”
“Answer me! Did you see her last night?!”
“Never mind about it. You don’t have to dig around looking for problems. We don’t have any problems.”
“I’m not strong. You know it’s painful for me! I can’t see you anymore if you play with other girls”
“Damn. I might be alone again.”
“You want to choose her?!”
“No, I told you. I’m close to you. I want to make you happy. Maybe I’m not perfect for you”
And on and on, round and round.
I could chosen to loose my frame. Not doing so risks losing the girl. And I’m no robot, and have bonded. But I have no real choice – if I keep her I have to do it on my terms – true to myself.
Once again, holding the frame in the face of brinksmanship worked. A bit tough for the girl – but it seems choiceless – playing by her rules helps no one, least of all me.
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@ a girl
a guy said this to a good gf of mine while we were out one night. a close friend of hers. she’s hot and guys typically chase her. i felt kinda hurt for her but she became even more glued to the guy.
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@[Editor: When a male cat is fixed, it grows a flabby gut and becomes neurotic. I shit you not.]
No shit.
Exactly my point.
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Good point guys. Why would he want things to change when he’s happy the way they are? I guess women are always looking for things to ‘go somewhere’. I’m 24 right now so I can afford to date, but if he’s not interested…. I guess I’ll have to shop elsewhere as not to waste my youth on him. I’ve been seeing another tall, handsome doctor. I will see where things go and now thanks to you guys, I don’t feel guilty about dating two men as you said, there’s no commitment to the surgeon as we’re not explicitly established. (Btw I’ve never revealed to the surgeon that I’m still dating other men.) I guess it’s the first bachelor past the post! Cheers guys.
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Alex, while most guy on here would advise you to be monogamous, or risk losing too many mate value points to sluttery, I’d say you are doing your job properly.
I agree that a woman who has received no commitment and who is marriage hunting should play many boys, secretly, even at the risk of hurting a few of them.
It’s basically your job.
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“Fixing” messes up female cats too. The purpose of being a life form, any life form, is to make new others like yourself. Anything else is a fail.
When you take that away from a cat you remove it’s primary purpose as a being. You turn an animal into a living doll. It ain’t right.
To bad most middle class Americans don’t get this, either for cats or for themselves. (OMG, I forgot to have children!)
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@Alex:
Outstanding. You’re thinking rationally and taking the right approach on this.
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Thanks xsplat! You alphas have given me no choice really. If I spent these best years of my life hanging on one at a time, i’d be a bit of a fool and end up unmarried. I have to say, dating two men does feel a bit dangerous, but a part of me is enjoying the risk. If the surgeon finds out through any mutual acquaintainces, I’m first of all going to lie through my teeth, deny doing anything wrong and secondly, point out he has no right to be angry unless he wants us both to be ‘off the market’. You guys can’t always have your cake and eat it.
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Thanks driveallnight. Wow, this is weird, never got praise for bad behaviour before. This must be a taste of what being a guy feels like.
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Alex? It’s not “bad behaviour” that you’re engaging in; you’re just choosing to use logic and/or “guy think” rather than base your actions strictly on emotion and/or “girl-think.”
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Alex
Your surgeon sounds like a sharp guy. But there is a chance that he will cut and run. Maybe you can sew up the deal.
Anyway, “all bleeding stops”. Be sure and ask him what that means.
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Dreamer–
I’ve never had sex with a 4 and only once or twice, drunk, with a 5.
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Cheers. It’s taken a whirlwind of up and down dating experiences with alpha males in a cut throat city for me to learn the valuable skill of
acting rationally even when my emotions suggest otherwise. The ability to let go and move on is also very valuable. I would say realism comes at the price of cynicism and part of me mourns for the naive girl who believed in true love and happy ever after. I would say that i’ve been lucky (or cursed) to attract alpha males.
‘All bleeding stops.’- Haha….eventually the bleeding resolves or your patient bleeds out. But I think you already knew that? Anyway. LOVING the surgical puns, keep them coming.
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There must be food for thought in there. I’d say that reality includes true love and long term or even life term monogamy. It’s just that that feeling of love is not predictive, especially when it feels predictive. There are too many competing sexual strategies and life is one vagary heaped upon another.
Cynicism is just a way to try to avoid hope, in the hope that having no hope will lead to feeling no loss.
A nice middle way is to embrace a feeling of the unknown – relishing it – and to enjoy true love momentarily. With an eye to the future – but only one eye. I disagree that the future is where it’s at – a good year or two love affair can be tremendous. So tremendous I try to always have one.
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Haha I once had a conversation with a guy on a train and he said something very memorable that ‘cynics are just disappointed idealists’.
I have to agree. I often work hard towards and hope for the best but am prepared for the worst, which is the right attitude to life, I think. I wouldn’t teach my kids that ‘you can have anything you want’ motto, life just isn’t like that.
Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying dating! I am just more selective with who I date now. I wouldn’t date any attractive guy, only the ones whom I think have potential and as you can see, it’s not easy to juggle them. I don’t see the point in maintaining something that’s going nowhere, better to cut your losses sooner rather than later. A two year love affair with someone you know is the wrong man is wasting precious time for a woman…
Wow, this readership being encouraging of a woman playing two guys off each other and taking about love…I would never have thought!
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Btw that’s not to say love affairs are bad, everyone should have them, but keep them short term so you don’t get too sidetracked. Just a happy distraction. I think I have accumulated enough stories that I daresay even Coco Chanel would be proud of. So, this is why I’m looking for that elusive ‘rock’ both in terms of a companion and a reliable man to lean on as well as look pretty on my finger 🙂
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Alex,
“I guess it’s the first bachelor past the post!”
My mom was dating two men, and each of my grandmothers three each (that we know of) when my father/grandfather made his move (with a ring).
Way too many (good) women ignoring their options previous to securing commitment. Yes, an alpha can power through that, but many greater betas who would make good husbands (hint: their alpha traits can be trained) don’t learn that is an option until their 30’s.
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Are you kidding me? Every time I’ve used the line “Your farts smell like roses, baby!” I get action no matter what!
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Alex, sounds like you are happily earning your stripes riding the medical cock carousell.
I have it on good authority that (in Australia, at least) Doctors tend to marry other doctors while surgeons tend to marry nurses.
Are you the pretty nurse that is shopping around for a doctor or surgeon?
All things being equal, a doctor or surgeon will nearly always be of higher value than you and have more options than you have.
Don’t overestimate your own value and be carefull of pricing yourself out of the Doctor/Surgeon market.
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@xsplat
“Last night:
“I saw pictures of her in her office on her facebook! Was she in your office?”
“It’s not important. I have a heart like the sun. The sun shines on all houses. You want to be angry at the sun for shining on other houses. It doesn’t matter.”
“Answer me! Did you see her last night?!”
“Never mind about it. You don’t have to dig around looking for problems. We don’t have any problems.”””
Yah…I get where you’re coming from on this, but cabilbration is key.
The woman sounds desperate and you come off sounding evasive not aloof.
It could get the hamster spinning and play on her insecurities.
But there is a point where this is “over-gaming”.
I’ve had these same exchanges and I now vary them between this and just simply saying “Yes….now let’s eat….” to her question of “Do you love me?”
The direct response is often so surprising, it get her thinking even more.
The “Answer me!!” demand is typical of Chinese girls too…this is where you should agree and amplify.
“Answer me? Look at you getting all lawyerly….”
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Walawala, she wasn’t demanding I tell her that I love her. She was demanding that I stop seeing other girls.
I don’t understand what your advice is.
From my view I can not give in and agree. I’m telling her that no, I will not stop seeing other girls.
I’m not Don Draper, but he is a good example for this situation. That character is what he is. He couldn’t change if he wanted to. He will sleep around, because that’s who he is, and it’s what he does. A conversation with him to get him to stop would be like a conversation about telling him to not breathe. To not be Don Draper.
I can play it two ways – dishonest, or honest. In the middle is being evasive but not lying. Not in your face about it, but no denial.
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Hey Mr C, I’m a junior doctor. Though I often get mistaken for a secretary unless I have my stethoscope around my neck. Sorry to burst your derogatory bubble. I don’t mind being called a nurse or a PA, it’s nice that men have low expectations so I can easily supercede them.
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Interesting story, desiderius. I think the dark, tall and handsome doc might be one of these nice guys with alpha traits. Fingers crossed.
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Alex,
Do you really want to marry another doctor? If I were a doctor I think I would prefer a husband who was in a different field.
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Lara, I always thought that too. I’ve dated bankers before but I find they have more questionable moral behaviour traits than doctors. I think bankers are more suited to a big dominant/submissive power balance and I just couldn’t handle their arrogance. Plus, I don’t think they liked that I would call them up on their shit and prob thought I was overeducated. Basically, bankers and businessmen need trophy wives who are more impressed with their money and status and would never leave them.
Doctors, I’ve found are less neurotic about the whole power balance and it’s easier because we both understand the job, a lot can be left unsaid. I think they’re also more morally grounded because the job involves ethical decisions on a daily basis. Also, there are so many specialities within medicine, it’s rare
that your jobs are exactly the same.
If I could advise women, I’d say go for doctors over businessmen. This is why I’m trying to matchmake my girlfriends with colleagues. Haha.
Sorry guys, nothing personal.
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@xsplat…
My only advice is not to bang chicks who work for you or who you work with…
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alex,
what is your end game? marriage, with children? if so, it’s unlikely – judging by your posts – that you’ll have a successful one with an alpha.
instead, you’d probably be better off with a beta provider. another advantage of going the beta route is that you get more time to pick the right beta.
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@ dreamer,
that’s just it. i have always taken it as the ultimate compliment because among all people and animals we both know, he loves his dog the most. frankly, i much prefer him comparing me with his dog whom i absolutely adore than with an ex, or his mother, or some historical person.
the advice i have received here has made me rethink about this matter…
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Walawala – why would you not employ your girlfriend?
Have you ever had a domestic live in situation, in which your girl did the domestic chores?
Oh, right. You’re into equality. What a bore.
I prefer my girl to be my servant and slave. Someone I command all day long.
I put every girl to work according to her abilities and inspirations. Even if it’s just grocery shopping and cooking. Better if it’s handling some parts of my businesses.
Just like children, women love to be given small responsibilitites. Makes em feel part of the family.
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Itsme, don’t be too harsh, alpha males are not all bad at marriage, and not all of them are put off by women with intelligence and careers. I know many of them and went to medical school with them. They’re human too. A girl just has to find the right one for her, or rather, he’s got to take her off the market.
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Itsme, don’t be too harsh, alpha males are not all bad at marriage, and not all of them are put off by women with intelligence and careers. I know many of them and went to medical school with them.
i didn’t mean that alphas would be bad for marriage, i meant that you don’t seem to be the type of woman that would be well suited to be a wife to an alpha.
alphas are dominant, and as such, have the most successful relationships with women who allow themselves to be led. i just didn’t get that impression of you (mainly from your first post).
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I’m quite happy to be led! That’s why I’m taking the relationship at his pace. Why does that mean I have to blurt out emotional diarrhoea?
[Editor: Women in love tend to blurt out their feelings. It comes with possessing a vagina.]
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Also, there are alpha/alpha power couples and then there are dominant/submissive couples. An alpha male will almost invariably get bored of the latter and cheat on her every day of his life.
[Editor: An alpha male will invariably get bored of the same vagina no matter how assertive she is. It comes with possessing a penis.]
As for the former…not many alphas can handle it but I think the results are more rewarding and cumulatively bring more for both partners. Jury is still out.
[The best relationships are high status men-beautiful women couples where the man’s status is not so much higher that he finds it easy to cheat, and her beauty is not so much greater than what he is used to that he morphs into a weak beta in her company. In such cases, the man will always be more dominant than the woman, and she more submissive. Women like it this way because they get sexually aroused submitting to a dominant man.]
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Ed- My new year resolution was self-preservation. There will be no blurting from me. I thought men didn’t like needy women?
[Editor: You’re projecting your female sensibilities. Men aren’t too bothered by female neediness. At least, not as bothered as women are by male neediness. In fact, most men kind of like it when a woman expresses her love in needy soundbites.]
I smell an air of double standards.
[I smell a sock puppet troll.]
Men don’t want women to be clingy…
[False premise. Men don’t want *ugly* chicks to be clingy. Hot babes can be clingy all they want. As long as they aren’t camping out on my doorstep with a knife in one hand.]
but then they want them to be lovey dovey to start a relationship?
[Who said anything about the start of a relationship? Most normal women wait a month or tow before the cascade of love blurts comes pouring forth. And, yes, men do like lovey dovey women. It’s called femininity. You should try it sometime.]
I am beginning to see where his issues stem from. I could fall for this alpha…but I am not going to unless he shows commitment.
[If he’s alpha, you’ll fall for him regardless of his commitment signaling.]
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Well, I have a choice between more than one alpha. I can at least do that much, can’t I? Femininity? You presume I lack it…but how else do you think I attract eligible men? Women have had to up their game as well. Perhaps you think women incapable of controlling emotions…but having done a science degree, I assure you, I am capable of some rational and logical thought.
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“how else do you think I attract eligible men?”
attraction isn’t the hard part
for women
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@xsplat
“”why would you not employ your girlfriend?
Have you ever had a domestic live in situation, in which your girl did the domestic chores?
Oh, right. You’re into equality. What a bore.
I prefer my girl to be my servant and slave. Someone I command all day long.””
Why would I not employ my girlfriend? Because then I’d have to pay her…
If you prefer your girl to be your servant and slave….why pay her? Shouldn’t she be doing that anyway if you’re alpha?
These financial arrangements with south Asian girls in particular are really ways to keep men more in line than women.
She’ll leave if you stop paying her.
Heard and seen this scenario dozens of times.
i just got back from holiday with my girl. When I brought up that we were splitting the hotels she balked…”I’m not used to it….I want you to take care of me….”
Me: “Take care of you? Are you a special needs child?”
She paid. She banged me. No money changes hands.
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Walawala, why do you assume that I pay girls for the work they do?
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. With a full time live in situation, usually all she gets is room and board. Other times I do give token amounts of cash – FOR REAL WORK THAT BENEFITS ME.
Why are you suck a god damned stingy motherfucker anyway?
The principle of the thing?
WHAT PRINCIPLE?!!!
Tight ass, hung up, tight wad. If the girl truly is into you and is giving you good sex and real love and romance, don’t be suck a dick.
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Sooner or later, Walawala, you’ve got to give in to your paternal instincts. Don’t be so fucking feminized – brainwashed by the Matrons and equalists.
Love the girls as if they were your children.
Stop being an equalist. It will hurt you in the end. It’s surely hurting you even now.
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True, attraction is easy. It will always amaze me how even the most intelligent man I’ve ever met has the same weakness as the average joe.
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Walawala, women are a resource. They provide a service.
Recompense is one part of game, and one part of love, and one part of the male/female dynamic.
Women simply do not fuck for free long term.
If you want long term romance, treat the girl as if she is your chattle, your responsibility, and your slave. You must take care of her, and command her.
Your equalist bullshit is weak sauce for anything more than a brief fling.
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Alex,
I don’t.
You sound like the female equivalent of a beta orbiter. Not surprising, given the time and energy your career takes.
Mastering the interpersonal takes an equivalent investment:
http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html
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HAHAHA I would advise you not to be presumptuous…as you don’t know me. Let’s just say that I only date men with high enough status and security to handle a doctor, but nice try on the neg. Let’s just leave it as this: I’m exploring my alpha options and I’ll keep you posted. Cheers.
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“I’ll keep you posted.”
i’m good
enjoy the cats
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@xsplat
“”Why are you suck a god damned stingy motherfucker anyway?””
Deja Vu…
I passed that shit test already with:
“Yeah….but I’m a HANDSOME god damned stingy motherfucker”…..
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HAHAHA. Again, the negging! Amusing but unoriginal. That’s ok, I love a bit of banter and a bit of cheek. 😉
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Alex–
Is the surgeon alpha you’re dating also East Asian? How much older?
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[…] – “Things a Man Should Never Say First in a Relationship“, “May 21st is National Pimp Walk Day“, “Why European Girls Stay […]
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Alex isn’t trolling or sock puppeting.
Read like a woman. Either a guy who knows the female mis-mind, or who’s gone through the script – or a shockingly honest woman.
Reads like too many actual women I’ve met.
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@alex
wow. i don’t think most guys are turned off by neediness in women. too many women have this independent mindset and men need to be needed.
clinginess is forgivable if displayed with sweetness and kindness. suffocating or stalking is aggressive behavior, the opposite of natural female clinginess (is it not part of female nature not to hold her “protector” closer?).
i’ve never had a partner that was turned off or frightened by “neediness.” i think a lot of women equate neediness w/ weakness…what’s wrong with being weaker than your man? i’ll admit that need maybe not in the first couple months, but after a few months he’s probably asserted himself in your life in ways that you do need him, esp. if he’s of higher status, resources and intelligence.
i need my partner around and i make it clear. after about a couple months or so, it’s hard to hide that i miss the person. i think a girl’s need for her man makes their relationship stronger.
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What is it with women like Alex thinking that sluttiness is empowering? I get it: we live in an amoral age, in which the old checks on behavior (God, social shame, etc.) are, for the most part, conspicuously absent. So it naturally follows that people are going to indulge in dissolute behavior, which often means sexual promiscuity for both sexes–at least as far as one’s attractiveness allows. But there is a distinction, one which women are seemingly unable to recognize: that, for men, with the exception of the top .01%, obtaining sex is difficult; whereas for women, regardless of attractiveness (i.e., physical appearance), sex is easy–there is an endless supply of willing partners with whom to copulate. Receiving something without effort is not empowering. Get it?
Furthermore, and this is a fact which women, even if they are aware of my first point, are forever unwilling to admit, because it is so objective as to be irrefutable, the male-female sexual dynamic is inherently dominant-submissive. The man dominates; the woman submits. The man penetrates; the woman is penetrated. When a woman has sex, she is being fucked, literally and figuratively. Even the most traditionally minded women I know, meaning those who are completely in agreement about the paramount importance of traditional gender roles, are simply obtuse about this fact. “Gender is a societal construct, you’re just speaking from the patriarchal perspective,” etc. Because sex organs are clearly illusions which would simply disappear if we wish hard enough. Seriously, Alex, wake the fuck up.
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[…] for those who haven’t seen the post at Citizen Renegade, saying “I love you” to a woman first can be the death of your […]
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Dreamer–
I agree Dreamer.
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[quote]The man dominates; the woman submits. The man penetrates; the woman is penetrated. When a woman has sex, she is being fucked[/quote]
sometimes things like that just need to be said..
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