A (presumably) female author going by the nom de plume ‘XX’ has written an article for AskMen (hereby renamed to AskNancyboys) called “Top 10 Signs You’re Not An Alpha Male.” (Aren’t you glad to see Chateau concepts popularized throughout the legacy media? Next up: The New York Times renames itself to the more appropriate New York Beta Times.) After reading through, it became apparent the authoress should have titled her article “Top 10 Signs You’re Not A Beta Male”, because her complaints more accurately reflect the behaviors of higher value men.
Let’s go through her list.
No.10 You Let Her Pay For Dinner
An Alpha Male provides for his pack. If she tries to contribute to this, he calmly takes the check and says, “I’ll handle this.” End of discussion.
First, an alpha male does not take women he hasn’t sexed yet on dinner dates. He takes them to bars and keeps his cost-per-lay low by limiting expenditures to a couple of vodka tonics, and does not entertain the idea of spending a lot of money on women until they have proven themselves worthy of his resources. The judgement of her worthiness necessarily follows her sexual surrender.
Second, a pretty woman is not a “pack” that must be impressed. She is a self-absorbed princess wannabe who must be seduced. Any successful seduction begins with bringing her down to earth where her unnaturally inflated value won’t intrude upon her desire to sleep with you. Groveling for her approval by throwing money and meals at her is the wrong way to cut the legs out from under her symbiotically fused princess pedestal.
No.9 You Never Apologize, Even When You’re Wrong
An Alpha Male has no hang-ups. He simply says, “I was wrong. I apologize.” And he rectifies the problem if possible.
Is ‘XX’ a regular reader of this beautiful blog? It sounds like she is directly responding to concepts explored here. Anyhow, she is trying to pound alpha males (heh) into a self-serving definition that is 180 degrees at odds with reality. And what is that reality? Betas do the apologizing. Alphas reframe, evade or accuse nebulous third parties. “Mistakes were made”. See: Bill Clinton. Or any high-powered politico for that matter. Now women may love the *idea* of a man who never balks to apologize for a misdeed, but like with so many pleasantly comforting notions that get derailed somewhere between the female brain and her pulsing vagina, the truth is that what she claims she wants in men and what she actually falls for are rarely the same.
No.8 You Suck Up To Leaders And Seek Their Approval
An Alpha Male doesn’t suck up to anyone. He is the leader.
True, but banal. And in fact, there are times when the alpha male may decide it is personally advantageous to suck up to a person in a position to advance his interests. The alpha male is, above all else, out for himself.
No.7 You Gossip
About your boss. About your buddies. About your girlfriend. You don’t mind pointing out other people’s failings and weaknesses and having a good laugh. An Alpha Male never betrays his pack. He doesn’t need to build himself up by tearing others down.
Wishful thinking. Alphas often enjoy a laugh at others’ expense, and betrayal, normally an invidious vice, is just another tool in the alpha’s box of Machiavellian self-advancement. Alphas will sometimes tear others down just for the cruel thrill of it, even when it serves no useful purpose. It seems what we have here in ‘XX’ is a woman who is describing what she wishes alpha males were actually like instead of what they really are like. Of course, if she got her wish, there wouldn’t be any men left that would make her horny.
No.6 You Panic In A Crisis
An Alpha Male’s natural element is change. Rapid change is simply an interesting challenge to him. He goes into a special kind of ice-cold, almost detached state, quickly sums up the situation, does due diligence if time allows for it, and acts immediately and decisively based on prior experience if there is no time to spare.
“Ice-cold”? “Detached”? ‘XX’ loves that stone cold killer instinct in alpha males. It doesn’t take much for the veil of pretty lies to slip, eh XX?
No. 6 is true, if again banal. Of course, grace under pressure sometimes entails lying and manipulating to neutralize the crisis.
No.5 You Act Before You Think
An Alpha Male may act with lightning speed, but he always thinks before he acts. He never runs to the corner and goes off in all directions like a type-A guy does.
This is too vague to accurately define an alpha male in all circumstances. There are times when the alpha male is impulsive, and reckless, and women, bless their hamster-y hearts, flock to these types of ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ guys. Male risk-taking is, in fact, very attractive to women. The kid who just did a triple flip on his skateboard is going to get a lot more attention from girls than the studious bookworm.
What ‘XX’ is circuitously describing is alpha male intelligence. The most desirable alpha males couple their risk-taking with intelligent aforethought, maximizing their chances of success. But women aren’t interested in the prudent thinking process leading up to a risky decision. It’s the fireworks at the end of a spectacularly successful gamble that turns them on.
No.4 You Blame Others
An Alpha Male takes responsibility for his own actions.
Not if he can get away with blaming failures on others. If successful, naturally he will seek to take as much credit as possible.
No.3 You Lie
To your boss. To your buddies. To your girlfriend. An Alpha Male isn’t a liar. He’s a stand-up guy; he shoots straight. He doesn’t have to slither out of a mess he got himself into. He does what’s right, and lets the chips fall where they may.
Fat girlfriend: Do you think my ass looks big in this dress?
Alpha male straight shooter: Yes, because your ass is too fat. And, by the way, I’m cheating on you with a thinner girl because I can’t get it up for you anymore.
No. 3 FAIL.
No.2 You Betray Others To Get Ahead
An Alpha Male never betrays a member of his pack.
What’s with this pack shit? ‘XX’ has some serious issues about betrayal. Was she betrayed by a man she loved? An alpha male vows fealty to one pack: the package in his pants.
Beta males are the ones less likely to betray a “member of the pack”, because they don’t have the stones to do it.
No.1 You Bully People
An Alpha Male takes on a real fight when it is necessary, and only if it is necessary (Alphas are not “scrappers”), but he won’t think twice taking on someone far bigger/stronger/better-situated than he is if the matter being decided is serious. And due to his fierce drive, chances are good he will win.
Wrong. An alpha male will act to hide his views or avoid a lopsided fight if it is personally advantageous to do so. It’s not cowardice to sidestep a fight with a man much bigger than yourself; it’s smarts. Just like it’s not bravery to stand in the path of a speeding train. As for bullying people, yes, alpha males don’t usually engage in that because their value is high enough that they can afford to be magnanimous to lessers. But it’s not betas who bully either. Betas, true to their natures, don’t really have the balls or assertive spirit to bully. Instead, it’s usually those men just below alpha status — the lesser alphas — who love to bully, because they see it as an opportunity to raise or maintain their “pack” status.
Every time I hear these steaming turd piles of pretty lies from women, I’m always impressed by how utterly oblivious they are to their own histories with men. When you hear a woman prattle on in vapid platitudes about her ideal virtuous alpha male, you can be certain she has banged a parade of the biggest assholes in her own life. It makes sense when you consider that so much of female thinking is rationalizing away the unsettling truth of their sexual natures.
If you’re looking for a girlfriend, this is how you know when it’s time to file your date under the pump and dump category: if she waxes eloquent about how important it is to her that a man doesn’t lie, cheat, steal, betray, or neglect to hold doors open for her, you know she has dated plenty of exactly those types of men. Do the opposite of what she says she likes in men.
Conversely, if she divulges that she likes men who sometimes, heaven forfend!, say impolite things or let her pick up the bar tab, you are dealing with a girl who has dated decent fellows. It’s often the genuine nicegirls, with their histories of dating non-assholes, who feel comfortable opening up about their craving for a just a tiny bit of assholery in their lives.