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Chateau Heartiste

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« Evolution Toward Immortality?
Reader Mailbag: Chump A Hump Edition »

Using Women For Ego Boosts

March 21, 2012 by CH

It’s a common complaint heard from the insufferably self-absorbed and eternally single SWPL chick:

“Why didn’t he call?”

Ladies, I’m here to tell you why that guy didn’t call. You’re not gonna like it. Most likely, he was just using you for an ego boost.

Yeah, some guys don’t call back because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected on a first “formal” date. Or the momentum was lost, and he thinks in your sobriety you’ll be less open to meeting again. We call these guys lesser betas.

Fact is, most men don’t think that way. If a guy gets your number, and he’s interested (i.e., he finds you hot enough to fuck and possibly date) and single, he’s going to call you.

I’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion, and thanks to these experiences I can say pretty confidently that men will often not call back because all they wanted was the instant ego boost of a woman’s sexual interest, usually manifest as a phone number close or a make-out. (For the players, a one night stand that precludes any extra dating investment is their idea of a quick ego fix, not to mention pleasure fix.)

If a man doesn’t call you back, it’s because

a) he’s already dating someone and just wanted to see if he still has the pickup magic, or

b) he’s already dating someone but you aren’t hot enough to risk getting caught cheating, or

c) you were a confidence-building stepping stone to test out his game for use on hotter chicks.

That’s pretty much it.

Exceptions to the above rules exist. Some men won’t call back because they didn’t know how to end the conversation with you when you first met, and felt obligated to ask for your number. This is what true niceguys do when they aren’t interested in you. Jerks will never labor under an obligation to number close girls they don’t feel inspired to fuck. The jerk will simply walk away when he’s tired of your witty banter.

Other men are so crippled with anxiety and self-doubt that they frequently defer to thinking the number close ended on a weak note, and won’t risk calling back when a video game with instant status assuaging leveling is a mere chair roll across the floor.

But mostly, when a man doesn’t call you back it’s because you didn’t meet the threshold of further pursuit, but you did meet the threshold for boosting his ego. So the next time you’re staring at your silent phone, remember to think to yourself “Yes, it’s me, not him. I’m not hot enough for him.” If it helps the awful-tasting medicine go down, try to imagine this cruel woman-baiting by egotistical men as the analogue of you ladies outrageously flirting with beta males you have no intention of fucking for the ego thrill of their courtly supplication.

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Posted in Girls, Psy Ops, The Id Monster, Ugly Truths | 208 Comments

208 Responses

  1. on March 21, 2012 at 1:34 pm John Norman Howard

    ’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion…

    Props on the Blade Runner reference.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 1:14 am Anonymous

      From the original… not the candy-ass unicorn Director’s Cut.

      LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 4:39 pm John Norman Howard

        +1

        LikeLike


  2. on March 21, 2012 at 1:40 pm silent

    Or… the guy wasn’t a dentist, a.k.a. hates trying to pull teeth in order to converse with someone whose responses start with “I…” or are single-word “No/I don’t know/Maybe”

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  3. on March 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm Whitehall

    Nah. Most of the time I can’t find the time to groom a new woman even after seaching for her and number closing. Things happen and the “hot period” to call back passes. If I don’t think I’ll have time in the next week to see her, for whatever reason, I won’t call.

    I know, I should respect their delicate egos and their unsatisfied libidos, but tough noogies.

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  4. on March 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm theoak

    usually when i dont call a girl after getting her number it is because i get too busy with work or the current stable so she slips my mind. i hit her up when i come across the number again if i remember what she looks like otherwise i delete it.

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  5. on March 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm the DC AM (@thedcam)

    You’re forgetting the instance where you’re so high on a mixture of shrooms and PCP that when you met her you thought she was a lizard princess from Mercury and her phone number was the coordinates of the secret alien landing site.

    LikeLike


  6. on March 21, 2012 at 1:49 pm Flahute

    re: Bladerunner – I know, you can’t help it. It’s great stuff.

    LikeLike


  7. on March 21, 2012 at 1:58 pm Just a Girl

    Most of the posts here boil down to the same message for women: Self-improvement always helps.

    LikeLike


  8. on March 21, 2012 at 2:08 pm Phlebas

    OT: just spotted this “karate game”:

    Starting at 3.30, lol.

    LikeLike


  9. on March 21, 2012 at 2:10 pm Markku

    “I’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion,”

    That was not one of your best but I had to chuckle. Keep up the good work! I love it.

    LikeLike


  10. on March 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm Lara

    I’m not sure about this. If a guy asks for your phone number, it’s because he’s interested. If you offer your phone number, without him asking for it, this is more likely to happen.

    [heartiste: most of the time, men will call the girls’ numbers they’ve gotten, for the reason you give. what we are talking about here is the smaller subset of cases where men get the number but don’t call.]

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    • on March 22, 2012 at 11:01 pm (r)Evoluzione

      I’ve collected maybe a dozen numbers and never called back. It’s almost a reflexive thing–out, in public, talking normally with some girl, she IOI’s, smiles, and it’s almost automatic that I’ll see if she wants to meet up. Take the number, then decide later if you want to call or not. It’s a little strange when it happens in a social circle, people start to talk. It’s a form of preselection, really, though sometimes the mother hen types start to see a guy who does this as a threat.

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    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:00 pm P Ray

      Did the aloof, indifferent thing in the past. Confirm it works.
      Got the number of a hot, disturbed girl. Who offered it to me because “I don’t give it to men who ask”.
      Never called, I’m not a licensed therapist.

      LikeLike


    • on March 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm Joe Eoj

      I agree that it’s a very different situation when the girl presses the number on a guy without him asking for it; though as a guy this has only happened to me a few times (I never called).

      Another situation: getting a girl’s number by accident. A couple of Halloweens ago I was talking briefly to an extremely hot Dorothy (or was it an Alice? Definitely a blue and white dress of some kind…) in a loud bar and just happened to make an unrelated comment which included the word “number”. She replies “Sure, you can have my number” and I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was all a misunderstanding.

      So I got the number and never called her, cuz she might have been good-looking but she lived sixty miles away and I am a lazy bastard. Besides, Halloween girls are always a letdown when you see them dressed normally.

      LikeLike


  11. on March 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm The Man Who Was . . .

    I’ve done it.

    LikeLike


  12. on March 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm dragnet

    “If it helps the awful-tasting medicine go down, try to imagine this cruel woman-baiting by egotistical men as the analogue of you ladies outrageously flirting with beta males you have no intention of fucking for the ego thrill of their courtly supplication.”

    Nailed it.

    LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 2:47 pm John Norman Howard

      Game, set, and match.

      LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 10:01 pm Eric

      +1

      LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 10:25 pm thechauvinistkaiser

      Another argumentative cunt-punch.

      Love it!

      LikeLike


  13. on March 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm whorefinder

    Fuck phone numbers. I use girls’ faces as stepping stones. Bazinga!

    I never go on a date with a girl till I get a nudie pic in a text. If not forthcoming, I post the number on Craigslist casual encounters for gay men in San Francisco. Pwned!

    As a bonus, the bitches can’t get angry that the homos are texting them filthy shit and pics of their faggy penii. Why? Because that’s homophobia! Suck on AIDS, SWPL whores!

    I really should stop drinking Mountain Dew.

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm John Norman Howard

      All hail whorefinder… PUA’s version of Fight Club.

      LikeLike


      • on March 21, 2012 at 3:23 pm Transmillenium

        Like Bronan The Barbarian’s Text Message Trolling http://bronanthebarbarian.com/2012/03/21/text-message-trolling-online-love-edition/

        I loled.

        But I don’t think I’d do that.

        LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm anonymous

      You should post them on /soc/ on 4chan. Makes craigslist look like an A-list nightclub

      LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 7:45 pm Obstinance Works

      ^^A tech spin-off of the old written number in the shitty park bathroom.^^

      “For a good time call #. Into double penetration and tit spanks.”

      This and the earlier CH post on practical jokes is just the inspiration I have needed lately. Good show gentlemen. Healthy young twat has nowhere to hide near my spectrum.

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 3:49 pm n/a

        No shit I thought you wrote “speculum.”

        LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 6:33 pm Fred Rotten

      “…the bitches can’t get angry that the homos are texting them filthy shit and pics of their faggy penii.”

      It’s true, because if they *do* get angry then they have to admit to being HATERS (*raspberries*)

      ‘Hater’… God, how I detest that word and it’s prevalence in contemporary discourse. I do like the words “faggy penii” though. That’s good stuff.

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  14. on March 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm Cream

    Basically it means she’s not hot enough to deserve being pursued or you have better fish on your plate. She may be lucky and happen to be there when you have no other girls in your rotation but that’s rare for me. And she’d be dropped as soon as a hot one comes by.

    And in order to date a girl and be her boyfriend I have to find her really hot and she has to have a decent sweet and interesting personality.

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 3:03 pm democratsarefascists

      Very true. I have lined up alternates before. That way if your true target is too stuck up or whatever, she can watch you leave with a woman who knows her place, can put two words together and can form a thought.

      LikeLike


  15. on March 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm Ronin

    “Why did’nt he call”?

    Basically a precursor to cue the hamster.

    LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm Just a Girl

      Very true in my case. Would that we could all just know, definitively, how a potential date/significant other/friendly sex partner felt about us.

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 5:44 am Nicole

        Open the door for the guy to be honest with you, and from time to time, remove the mask.

        Then even if a guy’s behavior confuses you, it’ll be cleared up soon.

        When a guy expresses interest, one of my sincerity tests is to not conceal my nurturing nature or capability of submitting. If they start fighting that, this is a person who either doesn’t want or doesn’t feel they deserve that from me.

        It’s like Ghandi said about not being able to successfully fight a more violent force with violence. You can’t fight a guy’s potentially predatory nature by acting like competition. You fight it by insisting on being in the role of companion. Then he is forced to either view you as that or as prey, and well, guys who aren’t sociopaths don’t play with their food. It’ll be over quickly because he’ll decide for himself that he doesn’t want to harm you or harm you further.

        So start with the kiss. Kiss him like you’re his slave. If he takes the reins and rides you well, you know you’ve got…a rider. If not, then you’re temporary amusement. Stop the show, or enjoy the encounter, and go.

        I know to girls nowadays that sounds like “take a step off the cliff to see how high it is”, but men are not women.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 7:03 pm who

        Warpig! God, I missed you.

        LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 4:43 pm John Norman Howard

        Out of line, man… bad form.

        I’ve done my share of insulting her, but it was always after she started in… noblesse oblige demands the wait.

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      • on March 23, 2012 at 11:16 pm Nicole

        It’s not an insult if it’s true.

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      • on March 23, 2012 at 11:15 pm Nicole

        I’ll catch you up: lost the weight equivalent of a third grader, looked in the mirror, felt floppy and weak, hated it, decided to embrace warpigletude.

        I am however, better at being a warpig. My owner has the best sweaty battle bitch she can be.

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  16. on March 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm Anonymous

    brade runna

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  17. on March 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm blert

    The number one reason: lady, your too heavy.

    Once your target sobers up…

    It’s time to move on.

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  18. on March 21, 2012 at 2:53 pm JCclimber

    Hmm.
    used this a few times when a teen, working an amusement park. Basically stuck at a particular ride, and some of the youngsters, this was the only way to get them out of there.

    And a few times, it was just to practice or boost the ego. If I’d been more of true alpha, I would have passed the number along to a beta coworker and told them to hook up, that would have been good for a few laughs.

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  19. on March 21, 2012 at 3:01 pm democratsarefascists

    Interesting. I think you’ve got something there, but mostly for betas. Who needs an ego boost? Insecure people do.

    [heartiste: need’s got nothin to do with it. alphas love ego boosts as much as the next guy. it’s part of the human condition.]

    It depends on the venue, but I usually don’t talk to a woman unless I intend to try her out. A party for instance invites chatting, and they’ll eat up your time. I enjoy talking to women and flirting with them, but I’m not going to waste my time with a dud. Therefore, I’ll eventually call, or I wouldn’t get her number in the first place. And frankly, if you’re doing it right, and it’s the right venue, there won’t need to BE a phone call.

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  20. on March 21, 2012 at 3:03 pm Black Rebel

    ‘So the next time you’re staring at your silent phone, remember to think to yourself “Yes, it’s me, not him. I’m not hot enough for him.”’

    Yeah, like that’ll ever happen…

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    • on March 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm John Norman Howard

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  21. on March 21, 2012 at 3:03 pm Anonymous

    I simply thought i would be then got to thinking about it and decided that I didn’t care.

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  22. on March 21, 2012 at 3:06 pm Blah

    How interesting; on woman dating up, etc.: http://www.scribd.com/doc/23724929/Sexual-Utopia-in-Power-Devlin

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    • on March 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm Anonymous

      Yup.

      Bro laying it down straight here, too.

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      • on March 24, 2012 at 8:46 pm Anonymous

        Woman breaks it down…

        You’re not “too nice”… you’re a wimp, chump, idiot, etc. (weak… unlike hot thugs who throw you a crumb when they want some pussy).

        LikeLike


  23. on March 21, 2012 at 3:18 pm Transmillenium

    Last month I restarted my game and I’m going for the 100 approaches challenge that Roosh mentioned before going on his hiatus.

    Currently I’m on the 48 girl, I”ve met a lot of girls, almost all of them flaking on me (It’s Colombia) except like 3 or 4 with whom I’m currently texting until they have the time to meet me, but I know that doesn’t guarantee nothing so I’m only talking to them to see what happens.

    In lots of my approaches I ask for the number, but later on I prefer not to call, maybe as an excuse to get rejected by her. It’s better to reject than to be rejected, riiight?

    [heartiste: if you have game and motivation, then your number collection will grow and overlap. it’s inevitable. in that case, what are you gonna do? most men don’t have the time or energy to juggle fifteen dates concurrently, so they filter out those numbers of girls who aren’t that attractive, or who didn’t give adequately strong interest signals, and instead focus on the girls who really lit a fire in their phalluses.]

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm Backdoor Man

      Colombian girls are flakes, but there should be a good number who dig you just for being American (if you are blue-blond, like me, it’s particularly easy). I got approached all the time when I lived there, but it does vary by city. The mid-sized cities (100,000 to 500,000) are the sweet spots. If your Spanish is good, you should be getting interest. Keep it up, and something will materialize. You need to be aggressive, because they expect that.

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 7:17 pm Sam

      Such BS.

      LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm Ripp

      “Colombian girls are flakes”

      All westernized women are flakes. Accept it, embrace it and build a qualification system and strategy to counter it.

      I’ve said this before: There is a ‘work’ component to game, no way around it. No man consistently bangs 10s from cold approach, same night lay, every one he approaches.

      Game is a process- and for each execution you push the process as far as you want, as far as you can- in many cases they end in a #close because of logistics.

      Until your next meet (if it happens) you’re in a ‘time bridge’. That’s where TXT game and voice communication can build more compliance->interest->attraction->comfort and from there you can qualify a flake or not.

      At the onset of a cold approach if you #close a target that you’re not attracted to, it’s no big deal. It’s great practice, it keeps you sharp and get’s you ready for the women you are attracted to:

      c) you were a confidence-building stepping stone to test out his game for use on hotter chicks.

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  24. on March 21, 2012 at 3:20 pm Transmillenium

    Edit, It’s like two months now, almost 1-4 girls per day (daygame), except weekends.

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  25. on March 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm Anonymous

    Only two reasons i don’t text or call a girl after I get her number:

    1.) I’m fucking someone else that I like right now

    2.) I didn’t think you were that hot.

    But, if you were really hot you can get past problem #1.

    —
    I bet that is the reason 99% of guys don’t call.

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  26. on March 21, 2012 at 3:51 pm Jeff Y.

    Heh. “I’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion.”

    Nice Bladerunner allegory.

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  27. on March 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm GeishaKate

    Why is it that you men find such glee in rejecting women? Generally, we already have a reason to feel bad about something. Today someone I thought was an actual nice guy, illustrated that he has some sort of game. He just lost the right to my smile.

    [heartiste: men and women both secretly find glee in rejecting suitors. women may be better at hiding their glee (though that is debatable) but they surely feel damned good walking home after a night out spurning one advance after another.]

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm John Norman Howard

      … the right to my smile…

      I’m a-gonna recheck the Constitution… I was sure that was one of them thar inalienable rights.

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      • on March 21, 2012 at 5:37 pm GeishaKate

        Not in my constitution 🙂 <– See, you've still got it, but you're on thin ice.

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      • on March 21, 2012 at 10:02 pm John Norman Howard

        My Phillida flouts me. :-/

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 12:27 pm GeishaKate

        There, there. If your Native American name was Sitting Duck, you would too 🙂

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 12:48 pm John Norman Howard

        It appears chick humor is a bit like chick math. ;-p

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm GeishaKate

        Doesn’t quite add up?

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 7:28 pm Fred Rotten

        Would you be referring to Ms. Phillida Trant by any chance?

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 7:30 pm Fred Rotten

        To be clear:

        @ John Norman Howard, “My Phillida flouts me.”

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      • on March 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm John Norman Howard

        It’s an old poem I remembered from grade school… as I recall, it’s just about the most omega poem of all time, but that’s by the chateau’s standards… the archaic name and language amuses me.

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      • on March 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm GeishaKate

        And me 🙂 If Phillida had been divorced, she’d be happy with any flowers, not just her favorite. And she wouldn’t require alpha poetry. lol

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 2:22 am driveallnight

        Whappen? He poop on you??

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm GeishaKate

        confession: this has been making me laugh for days

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      • on March 26, 2012 at 11:32 am driveallnight

        I’ll be here all week. Please everyone, don’t forget to tip your server.

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      • on March 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm Anti Blue pill

        It’s there, Right next to the free Contraceptive clause.

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      • on March 21, 2012 at 9:57 pm John Norman Howard

        Thread winnah!

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 5:36 pm GeishaKate

      A night out. A night out…nope, never heard of it 😉

      LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm kidbourbon

      Why is it that if I go out and get 10 numbers, and call (or blast text) all 10, I only get 3 responses?

      Well…because 7 of the girls the next day decided they didn’t want to talk to me.

      Similarly, maybe on a different next day after a different night, I’ll decide I don’t want to talk to the girl whose number I got.

      Nothing evil is going on here, Kate.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 7:44 am GeishaKate

        “Nothing evil is going on here, Kate.”

        Sweet. I know that. I’m just annoyed I have to put my guard up again.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm corvinus

        Boom. One reason a dude gets a bunch of numbers is he’s playing, well, the numbers game.

        It’s not glee. It’s how things are.

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:17 pm Lara

      My grandmother had a really beautiful friend when she was young. This was back in the day when you would have an official Friday night date. This girl would promise two or three men she would go out with them, and then at the last minute pick the one she liked best.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 12:37 am YaReally

        The modern version of that being the girl who txts a dozen of her orbiter chumps and exes to come out to the bar her and her girls will be at so she can spend the night feeling like a princess with a dozen suitors fighting over her and make her girlfriends jealous because of all the attention she’s getting.

        Then she goes home with a new guy who doesn’t give a shit about his competition, or she cabs it across town to meet up with some guy she’s already fucking who doesn’t give enough of a shit to respond to her invite txt let alone come out and waste his night orbiting.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 8:47 am Redleg

        This stillllllll happens. Not that long ago, I had female friends who would tell me about it with a gleeful, proud smile.

        They are friends no more.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 12:50 pm John Norman Howard

        Scarlett O’Hara game.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 7:09 pm Fred Rotten

        “Scarlett O’Hara game.”

        DEFINITELY. And that’s why Rhett Butler is one of my male role models. As gay as it may sound, every man should watch “Gone With the Wind” and study his mojo thoroughly. Don’t watch it with your bitches, though; they’ll know you’re aping his ways and then they’ll start screeching.

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:32 pm whorefinder

      Why is it that you men find such glee in rejecting women?

      Because you’re fat.

      LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:35 pm democratsarefascists

      Whether they call it by that name or not, women in groups and pairs play a game called “Red Baron.” They tally up how many men they’ve “shot down.” Fortunately, these “party girls” are easy to spot. Too much makeup, cheap dresses that don’t show quite enough skin (because they don’t want to “look like a whore” in front of their girlfriends) and they usually laugh like banshees over absolutely nothing. You can play them and bed them, but they are an utter waste of time. Lousy in bed, exhibiting last minute resistance (easily overcome, but why?) or resistance after the fact, which makes them worse than useless. In other words, she’ll blow you, but not on demand the second time. Once you’ve had them, they assert some ridiculous feminist idea about not wanting to seem cheap, long after the wall’s been breached. Usually because they talk to their girlfriends and get the idea in their little pin heads that they want hearts and flowers now. If you’re unfortunate enough to tap one, leave her crying in the proverbial “One-nighter Dumpster.” She should be used to that by now.

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      • on March 23, 2012 at 2:04 pm P Ray

        If you’re going to get grief, deal with the attractive ones only.
        Why deal in pyrite, when the gold is there for the getting?

        Those same “Red Baron girls”, deserve the bad treatment that they dish out in return.
        Women who have no problem playing men … get played by the best men.

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    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm Harland

      Uh, this was a reaction to the glee that women take in shooting down men they deem unworthy for their princess selves. You don’t think it happens? It happens. It used to happen to me, back before I knew why it happened. Believe me, women took great pleasure in thinking up creative new ways to make me feel like shit for getting up the nerve to talk to them.

      Every man here got it. Only you seemed to miss it and took it seriously – because it lets you be the Holy Victim again, as required by your belief system.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 8:06 am GeishaKate

        I’m sorry that happened to you.

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      • on March 22, 2012 at 4:13 pm Harland

        Sorry? Sorry means nothing. Make restitution. You’ve stolen memories, you’ve stolen hope, you’ve stolen encouragement, and you’ve stolen joy. And this “you” is the collective you. What is your plan to make right what you have done wrong? Oh, yeah, right…nothing. Because we beta males are “TEH PATRIARCHY!!! LOLZOMG!!!!!! WE HATEZ THEM FOREVER!!1!eleventy”

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      • on March 23, 2012 at 11:38 am GeishaKate

        That wasn’t an apology, Harland. Bad things have happened to me too, but I don’t expect restitution anymore. I could tell you a story of a man who indicated he would “rescue” me who later disappeared off the planet, and, when I searched for him, I found I didn’t even have his real name. Or how about the one with whom I finally let down my guard when he told me he was getting divorced but, of course, he didn’t.

        I say I’m sorry when I see hurt and anger because the actions of others means now everybody has a problem. It never matters what anyone else is doing to rectify things. Everything begins and ends in us. We’re all going to get frustrated from time to time, which is what I was when I made my initial comment. But, I’ve stablized and re-centered and brought the focus back to myself in the realization that the only person who can rescue me is me.

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      • on March 24, 2012 at 11:44 am loverboi41277

        “You say: “Oh, please forgive…”
        You say: “Oh, live and let live…”
        But sorry doesn’t help us
        And sorry will not save us
        And sorry will not bring my teen years back to me”

        Moz

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 9:18 am GeishaKate

        Ooh! A poetry slam. ^ nice

        The Snare

        They tell me I am beautiful,
        but what’s the use for me?
        So all men want to look my way,
        but no man wants to see?

        The married men, it hurts the most;
        the way their eyes have shone.
        Cause they go home and kiss their wives,
        and still I sleep alone.

        Sometimes they tell me of their woes:
        surely I will understand.
        But no one complains about his wife
        if he truly is a man.

        So I walk along the beach,
        or I walk around the dam.
        And try to think, one day, perhaps,
        someone will hold my hand.

        And this beauty won’t be wasted,
        and these eyes won’t always cry.
        And that one night I’ll be wrapped up tight
        in the arms of my own guy.

        – GeishaKate Sept. 2010

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 3:01 pm John Norman Howard

        Better less when more
        Poetaster than poet,
        Far more less, my dear.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 7:36 pm GeishaKate

        Pound for Pound, I’d agree with you. You ought to title that one, “In a Comment Section of the Chateau.”

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 11:21 pm John Norman Howard

        I figured a Geisha would appreciate haiku.

        LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 6:44 pm n/a

      Was it unlubricated anal that showed you his game, Geisha?

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 8:02 am GeishaKate

        No, n/a, unnecessary jealousy plotline stuff.

        LikeLike


    • on March 21, 2012 at 9:01 pm JOE

      I’m sure he wont be crushed due to having better things on his mind than some chicks smile.

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 7:51 am GeishaKate

        I don’t know. I’ve been whitening 🙂

        LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm John Norman Howard

        Capitalize Whitening.

        /nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

        LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 5:54 am Nicole

      It’s like Christ Rock says, sometimes the people with a lot have to shut up and let the people with less speak. Meaning, guys have to deal with rejection all the time because they are usually the ones initiating. It’s nice every once in awhile, to be on the other side.

      So even though it may be rare for you, you have to learn to take rejection with grace. It’s nothing personal. They may be trying to mess with your head, but the damage is minimal. You get your little embarrassment and they get their little boost, and eventually, everybody gets over it.

      Like I tell guys, the ones who reject you are not the ones to worry about. The ones who get into relationships with you are, because they can do a lot more damage than a little blushing.

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 2:20 pm Anon

        “Like I tell guys, the ones who reject you are not the ones to worry about. The ones who get into relationships with you are, because they can do a lot more damage than a little blushing.”

        So typical of the interwebs. A girl like Geisha Kate gets on a male-centric blog, posts some dumb vacuous comments, and gets a million replies from the Aspies who don’t get enough female attention.

        But a girl who posts a gem wisdom like the one above gets no notice.

        LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm n/a

        She gets plenty notice, my friend.

        “Kiss him like you’re his slave.”

        Very, very nice.–

        And Geisha is hardly vacuous.

        In short and in sum and in fine: pay more attention and whine less.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 12:39 pm GeishaKate

        “And Geisha is hardly vacuous.”

        Aw, shucks:) You know that interview question employers like to ask? Name five traits to describe yourself? This is going on my list 🙂

        LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 8:02 pm John Norman Howard

        If a statement of the obvious is your idea of a “gem of wisdom”, then either you’re her sock puppet… or you just need to expand your horizons.

        My guess is the former.

        LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 11:24 pm Nicole

        It may be obvious to you, but some of us came up without anyone teaching us how to be women.

        I don’t think I have ever seen in any girly magazine ever on how to be a good kisser, anything like, “be kissed and bask in his awesomeness”. Gay dudes know more than the vast majority of women I know about how to be the girl.

        It’s a sick world. Same as in race issues, you are way behind on how sick it is.

        …and same as some race issues, it is far too late to set some things right once Pandora’s box is already open. We just have to make the best of what we have to deal with here and now and hopefully that will open doors to a better future.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 12:35 pm GeishaKate

        I did appreciate your comment as I think you made a good point. Sometimes it takes me a little bit to figure out what mine is. So here it is: sometimes a woman has been so crushed, she isn’t really in need of being taken down a peg and would actually benefit more from a compliment. I know all about how attraction works, so, yes, what this guy did worked, but that doesn’t mean I feel good about it. Being attracted and feeling good can be two separate things. So in addition to feeling bad about what he did, I now also feel bad for it working.

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 1:41 am Nicole

        Geisha, I get what you mean, but in all honesty, there are very few women in the western world who don’t need to be taken down a peg. It’s a relativity thing.

        We manufacture all manner of screwed up standards for ourselves that have nothing to do with Nature/reality, and feel bad about ourselves because we, of course, don’t meet them. We manufacture drama from situations that ought to be pretty cut and dry. We project our frustration with ourselves and our self inflicted problems onto men. We want to have our cake and eat it no matter where on the looks scale we are. Almost no women in the west are dealing in anything close to the realism of our great grandmothers and worse, we’re exporting our mental disease to parts of the world where some women still have a clue.

        From your writing, I see a bit of myself in you. One day you will discover how much of a bitch you’ve been. Relative to others today, you are probably not too bad, but your holding onto this last thread of mal-sourced dignity is the barrier to understanding, truly understanding, what guys are going through. You feel bad for basically being a girl. Yet you think this feeling bad for it is a good thing. When you realize that it is so very not a good thing and is a result of some part of your womanhood being stolen from you, and get the full implication of the horror of that, you’ll get what men are telling you about their manhood being stolen from them or going unrecognized because it isn’t wrapped in the popular flash.

        Accepting that you have buttons that can be pushed and produce a dependable reaction, and losing shame about that, is a good step in the right direction. Dignity is for dudes.

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 11:56 am GeishaKate

        No one has stolen anything I didn’t willingly give. I get your point, but imo its more about personal responsibilty whether one is a man or a woman. At a certain point, you stop blaming others, you accept them for what they are, and you just live.

        Now this: “Accepting that you have buttons that can be pushed and produce a dependable reaction, and losing shame about that, is a good step in the right direction” will be my goal. I have striven to drive all sense of competition from my life. Who knew it could be so difficult to surrender? Eventually one has to let themselves be caught even if they could keep running forever.

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm Nicole

        Geisha, if you grew up in the west it was stolen. We were herded through a social and school system that gave those of us who were either not the most beautiful or whose beauty was socially inconvenient no other option but to butch up. We were damaged by hands other than our own.

        When one becomes psychologically an adult, one has to take personal responsibility for one’s own part in that, and in one’s recovery, but in order to heal, you are going to have to let go of the illusion of control. You had no control over other people’s behavior, and little control of the effects in your childhood and unaware adulthood.

        Thinking you were or are in control of things you aren’t will prevent you from getting those things under control or shaping them into something you can live with. You’ll file them under, “That’s just how I am.” To undo the damage, you have to see where it was done, and get angry enough that it disgusts you and you want to get your stuff back.

        One dude who didn’t know what he was doing, at a time when your selection filters were less than optimally feminized, should not make you fear surrender. It should make you fear anything remotely smelling like mangina/weak of will/indecisive. Mind you, beta is not the same thing. Most guys are beta in status and options, but innately alpha enough both socially at a family leadership level and sexually, given the opportunity to be so.

        …which brings us back to the inner bitch thing, you have undoubtedly, just from plain old statistical reality, passed up or actively fended off hundreds of guys who would both rock your world and marry you. Some you didn’t pass up or fend off, you very likely did not allow to be the man in ways that would open a door for them to act on their attraction or become attracted to you more than the next woman at your looks level.

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm GeishaKate

        I totally agree that sometimes women have to train to learn how to let men “be the man.” As far as anger, I’ve been angry. I’m sure I will be again. But sustaining anger? I’m not capable. Who is there to be angry at? People who have done the best with what they knew at the time? No. Selfish/ignorant people? Maybe. But anger doesn’t change that. Knowledge and experience is the only thing that will change that.

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 11:12 pm Nicole

        Geisha, probably because I may be higher T, we have a different approach to anger and its usefulness in recovery. For me, it’s a very good motivational tool, but that’s because I can fairly easily put it on the back burner and pull it out when it’s needed to shut down a counterproductive thought or person. For someone more estrogen fueled, maybe anger isn’t the right emotion…perhaps contempt or pity with not so well masked resentment would work better.

        Like you, other adults must take responsibility for their behavior, to the degree that they can. In this day and age, nobody really has any excuse but purposeful stupidity to cling to old unscientific ideas like gender being a social construct and the like. The people insisting on promoting such poppycock are indeed selfish in that there is some payoff in maintaining the status quo (even if that is a sort of Stockholm syndrome comfort), and they don’t want you ruining it for them.

        What sad, pathetic people. You want to distance yourself from them and their ideals so that you’re not that kind of sad, pathetic person too.

        LikeLike


  28. on March 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm Anonymous

    I have a few numbers right now I haven’t called.

    Mostly they are not that promising for one reason or another. Or too much work.

    Sometimes it is better to be alone than to work on a hot albeit boring woman.

    LikeLike


  29. on March 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm kidbourbon

    Another reason is that the next day I may not remember the girl’s name (if I was really wasted the night before). To prevent this from happening, I try to put the venue I met the girl at as her last name in my phone. This helps job my memory in the event that I do want to call her.

    LikeLike


  30. on March 21, 2012 at 6:51 pm Johnycomelately

    Heartiste, your minions are growing by the day, when the inevitable collapse comes in the not too distant future the power elite will pinpoint it to you.

    Just be wary of time traveling mutant feminists out to nix this multi-verses timeline.

    LikeLike


  31. on March 21, 2012 at 7:15 pm Sam

    This is true. Except some girls might be indifferent, or act that way. Messes with the head.

    LikeLike


  32. on March 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm anonymous

    O/T

    http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3473649&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

    “Blackbird Betty”‘s boyfriend: Alpha.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:06 pm P Ray

      A woman can take any amount of disrespect for a guy she really wants (even while complaining about it, she’ll never do anything to increase the distance between them).
      She has nothing but feigned ignorance or forgetfulness for a guy she can’t wait to see leave.

      LikeLike


  33. on March 21, 2012 at 8:04 pm Finn

    d)Your personality is unfuckable.

    My lance won´t joust for women with egos bouncing all over like ping pong balls in maracas. Being as they are (fake and controlling with low self-esteem) , and me seeing right trough it and knowing it I just find it untolerable.

    Nothing bad with low self-esteem and expressing it in some way. I actually enjoy making these girls happy.

    So, only genuine women get the call and therefore (i) can unsheathe my excalibur.

    I don´t glee in making rejections, I used to, but as I see what the market in all its twistedness is, now I hate it.

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 12:53 am YaReally

      “Your personality is unfuckable.”

      lol’d for real! next time I run into a girl who deserves it I’m going to just say that flat out.

      I don’t enjoy rejecting girls, I just don’t have a lot of time/energy to waste. If I meet a girl on a Friday and she’s fuckable but our logistics are no good I’ll grab her number and shoot her a txt of where I’ll be Saturday night. If she can’t make it I’ll give her one more shot for during the week but at that point she can either come over to my apartment to “watch DVDs” or nothing…I’m not traveling somewhere to spend money on a date (even for myself, why would I go buy myself a drink, I have drinks at home).

      If she doesn’t meet up I just throw an x in front of her name and stop txting. If she gets horny enough to make things easy she can txt and my “DVD night” offer is still on the table, but otherwise I’ll go meet new girls and get new numbers so who cares about this one?

      Personally I like to test new stuff out on numbers I’m not into. Like demanding naked pics right away, telling them to come over at 3am, escalating things to dirty talk with inappropriate questions way earlier than I normally do, treating her like a piece of shit if she’s super hot, etc. cause I don’t care if I creep her out, I wasn’t gonna hook up with her anyway, but this way I get to practice my game and try stuff out that I might hesitate to try on a girl I “really like”.

      I escalate fast in txts with girls i like to lead things into sexual conversations cause I did it enough times with numbers I didn’t care about to learn the calibration required to consistently do it.

      LikeLike


  34. on March 21, 2012 at 9:58 pm Bali

    Interesing article on Time: Why Men Are Attracted to High-Earning Women

    http://ideas.time.com/2012/03/15/why-men-are-attracted-to-high-earning-women/

    One comment:
    scoutmom

    Sorry Time, but as a single woman who makes well over 150k, I don’t buy this story for a second. In my personal experience, yes, I could easily go out there and get married. But, not to anyone I would consider a truly equal partner. In this recession, I’ve seen many men see me just as a meal ticket. It’s not that they are intimidated (well there’s a few of the insecure ones out there), but mostly they see me as someone who can solve all their financial problems. Here’s a profile of the last few guys who either asked me out or I went on a date with:

    1. Stock boy at an office supply store – Um, at 42, don’t you think you should be doing something else with your life? And no, he didn’t lose his successful job elsewhere and had to take this. He considered this his career and marijana his hobby.

    2. Father of 4 kids (that was OK with me) and had over 78k of credit card debt. He made it clear he was looking for a “financially stable woman to help him out.” Sorry sweetie, I’m no one’s sugar mama.

    3. Elementary school PE teacher who never wanted to be more than that. I was actually really into him and we dated for a while, but in the end, when he found out how much I made, he couldn’t handle it and broke up with me.

    4. A man who paid 42% of all his earnings to child support and alimony and was about to lose his job. I actually thought he was a cool guy and was OK to date him until he said, “well, I was really worried about losing my job and not being able to pay my mortgage and alimony, but now that you and I are together, I know I’ll be safe.” And FYI – he said this while downing 14 drinks in a bar on our second date. Nuff said.

    These are just some of the situations that a successful woman who lives in Southern California is dealing with. And for those of you out there who think me not viable to date for other reasons, I am considered attractive by most people, and I used to do some modelling in my younger days. I am now 37, own my own 550k house, a car, portfolio, great relationships with friends and family and have an active social life. I just refuse to take on a partner who isn’t my equal in some way. I really don’t care how much money you make, but don’t expect me to pay for your financial mistakes or have to take care of a man who is mentally a little boy.

    So, like the article says, I hide my career and income from men and dating profiles. It just makes me a target. I do not see this trend changing any time soon. Maybe I’ll try dating again when the economy gets better? ;

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm drunicus

      Pretty cold, considering women tend to vaccine up all the b-s high paying jobs in marketing, HR, & law.
      To make money in corporate America as a man you need to either:
      !) Have the sales skills of Bill Clinton,
      Or
      @)Know more about math, computers, and STEM than most of Chindia.

      I’ve dated women like her, who make as much or more than me, and they’re enormous pains in the asses. They constantly wave their “success” in your face, as if they didn’t get there because of their vaginas, but they still expect you to pay for everything, because they’re “ladies.”
      OK, then, fine. If you’re a lady, then quit that project manager/HR Generalist/Director of Strategy gig and marry and

      LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 2:12 pm P Ray

        If the STEM skills of Chindia are something to be afraid of,
        why are the people in those countries complaining about graduates not being up to snuff?
        Unless either
        1) the wrong people are being lecturers,
        2) the wrong people are being graduated,
        3) the wrong people are the employers?

        My guess is a mix of all 3.

        Any project manager with no background in the type of project they manage,
        e.g. an MBA without a degree — VERY common in Asia, who supervises professionals, is a scumsucker of the first degree.
        Poor quality software is the result of poor design decisions,
        which are from the project manager … who tries to get a quick sale by making promises they can’t keep … because they have 0 knowledge of the ground-level necessities to make the project a success.
        It’s been said over 70% of all IT projects, fail.
        I would put money on the fact that those project managers are MBAs without degrees.

        LikeLike


  35. on March 21, 2012 at 10:13 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    I learned something about myself from this post I bet applies to others. I used to “number close” with practically every girl I met just to see if I could do it (this was done, subconsciously, I think).

    I have an address book still filled with little scraps of paper with names of women I’ve long forgotten. And very few I called. It’s weird, I think I sort of meant to call, but after the fact you lose the mood a lot of the time. A few I called. I miss the days when I was in my early twenties and could go to shopping malls, find the nice looking women in various stores, and simply chat them up and get numbers. You outgrow this, unfortunately, and who goes to malls anymore?

    LikeLike


  36. on March 21, 2012 at 10:32 pm thechauvinistkaiser

    I do enjoy rejecting bitches who aren’t worth my time…but only because it’s one less fucking thing to worry about. I wouldn’t go as far as to describe it as “gleeful”; relieving perhaps, but not “gleeful”.

    LikeLike


  37. on March 21, 2012 at 11:24 pm Anon

    I thought the “why didn’t he call” line is a post pump-and-dump lamentation, not an ante first-formal-date one.

    In that case, the answer is that the seducer only wanted a ONS, but sent mixed signals about LTR possibility during the seduction phase because he didn’t want to be upfront about his intentions and consequently risk rejection.

    I don’t have any sympathy for the lamentation because the male ability to lie is a trait selected for by females. Their hindbrains love the dark triad, love to hear lies, and love the drama that ensues. The whole seduction stuff is selected for by women because they crave the manipulation.

    At least as a short-term sexual strategy. They don’t really want the lying alpha to commit to them for life, but only to stay around long enough to ensure pregnancy. Their hindbrains want the alpha spawn. A beta will eventually show up to clean up the mess and pay the bills.

    I said mixed signals, so there was no formal promise of an engagement (you know, the kind of promise that dries up a vagina faster than a crick in a texas drought).
    Therefore, “why didn’t he call” should be interpreted as “I wanted his baby, why did he leave before knocking me up?”.

    LikeLike


  38. on March 21, 2012 at 11:55 pm Burton

    I’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion,

    Great line!

    LikeLike


  39. on March 22, 2012 at 12:30 am Anonymous

    What about the times that you (the guy) does text or call ?

    Say you send a text message and you don’t get any reply?

    Getting a number these days hardly means anything.
    On any given weekend any woman that is half decent looking has probably been asked for and given her number out at least half a dozen times.

    The smartest course of action is to delete her number from your phone.
    Then there is not temptation to slip into beta mode and try contacting her again. If she was interested, she would have texted or called you back.

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm itsme

      expect hot girls to flake. assuming the number she gave you was hers, it’s counterproductive to delete her number after she flakes on a text, because the problem isn’t with her, it’s with you. you didn’t stand out enough from the other thirty guys texting her for her to even remember you, much less be interested enough to text back. just because a girl doesn’t text you back once doesn’t mean you can’t eventually salvage it and bang her, but you need to play it right.

      don’t be the guy who texts ‘hi xxx how are you, it’s yyy again. i texted you an hour ago but you haven’t replied so i’m not sure if maybe you just didn’t get it or something? anyway, i had a great time with you at club blueballs and felt we had a connection. i was wondering if maybe you’d let me take you out to dinner some time this week. let me know, thanks.’

      instead, text flakey girls randomly out of the blue with obnoxious shit like ‘8=========> ~~~~~’ and ‘2 much teeth last nite, less is moar’.

      the point is to make yourself stand out enough for her to bother texting you back. then it’s your game to win or lose from there.

      texts basically cost you nothing in terms of money and time, so you’ve got nothing to lose by doing this.

      LikeLike


  40. on March 22, 2012 at 12:40 am ace

    speaking of ego boosts, when are you going to talk about chicks marrying themselves? 🙂

    LikeLike


  41. on March 22, 2012 at 1:00 am Mari

    CH, I can’t get it. Why do I usually get phone calls from the hottest guys a meet? The hotter he is, the more likely he is to call me back.

    I had an omega friend and he once told me he he went out on a date with a girl but as he didn’t like her shoes, he wouldn’t call her back. Most hot guys I had sex with probably couldn’t remember what kind of shoes I was wearing.

    Sorry but I don’t think our theory is right.

    [heartiste: strong odds this comment is a troll.]

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 12:49 pm MZ

      Yeah, an omega ditched a chick cause of her shoes….

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm Mari

        Yes, it’s true and I am not a troll.

        [heartiste: substantively speaking, you write like one.]

        LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 9:44 pm Mari

        English is not my first language. Maybe that’s why you are mistaken me for a troll.

        [heartiste: no, that’s not why i called you a troll. first of all, you say english isn’t your first language, and yet you are familiar with insider-y american terms like omega male. strike one. second, you are new here, and yet you have enough facility with concepts discussed here that you are able to formulate a suspiciously anti-chateau comment that just happens to perfectly mirror in opposite what is asserted in the post. strike two. third, no omega male in the world is going to turn down a hot girl just because her shoes were ugly. strike three, and you’re…
        A TROLL!]

        LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 2:29 pm crumpetess

        Maya with a new alias. Maya, Mari…tomato, tomahto.

        LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 7:40 pm Fred Rotten

      @ Mari

      I’m not even sure what you’re trying to communicate here. Are you asking a question? Or are you lamenting the fact that you “usually get phone calls from the hottest guys a [sic] meet”? Also, are you currently under the influence of recreational drugs and/or alcohol?

      LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 10:34 pm Obstinance Works

      that you alex?

      LikeLike


  42. on March 22, 2012 at 8:26 am bogspua

    I think it is very common for guys to use women for ego boost or validation, especially the AFC guys. Even if chick is just talking to him it is at least gives him delusion that there some women in his life.

    [heartiste: no. AFCs who get numbers tend to call them because they are starved for female love. the kinds of guys who get numbers for the fun of it are usually alphas who already have a full dating plate and can’t be bothered to pursue suboptimal girls.]

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 12:47 pm bogspua

      heartiste,

      I was more referring to those AFC who don’t get nothing, like those stalkers on Facebook who leaves pointless messages and likes, just to make themselves to feel good and like they got some social life going on. I think for them it is some kind of delusional ego validation that has nothing to do with the real life.

      AFC don’t really go out and get numbers, hence the name is (average frustrated champ), at least not often, maybe once in a blue moon. Otherwise AFC who gets numbers often is at least some kind of natural, or somebody who tries to get better with women.

      Another point often overlooked in the pua community that there is actually lots of alphas who doesn’t have any game, many sport athletes, military guys or man who did build successful business for themselves and many others, they all can be called alpha to that or another degree, but it will be wrong to assume that all of them got game or abundance when it comes to women.

      I think being alpha does imply that women drawn to guy like that, but it doesn’t imply that the guy automatically good with women.

      just my 2c.

      LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm YaReally

        “Another point often overlooked in the pua community that there is actually lots of alphas who doesn’t have any game”

        lol it’s not overlooked. Do some reading.

        LikeLike


      • on March 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm bogspua

        YaReally,

        Yes it’s been mentioned here and there, but over all it is overlooked and assumed that if somebody alpha than he got a good game.

        LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 4:34 am YaReally

        http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/situational-confidence/

        Seriously tho, I get what you’re saying. The level of detail taught in pickup these days is a lot more shallow than it used to be during the Mystery Method days. People want instant results so a lot of old-school info like this is glossed over now which is unfortunate for guys who find things like an alpha not necessarily having game to be important details.

        If you’re noticing that stuff at all, it means you’re going out or at least observing the social dynamics going on around you so props for that! 🙂

        LikeLiked by 1 person


      • on March 24, 2012 at 4:39 am Anonymous

        “Another point often overlooked in the pua community that there is actually lots of alphas who doesn’t have any game, many sport athletes, military guys or man who did build successful business for themselves and many others, they all can be called alpha to that or another degree, but it will be wrong to assume that all of them got game or abundance when it comes to women.”

        Fucking-A! A lot of the time being an asshole works works because that’s basically arousing and they’re attractive (hence “Asshole game”) but they may have no Game skills because they don’t have-to. (Also, real Alpha males differ from a PUA class “Alpha” like the real thing differs from a Hollywood actor… actually being that way is different from just acting like that to create a desired impression in women.)

        LikeLike


  43. on March 22, 2012 at 9:15 am Anonymous2

    http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_20223230/tartan-students-tweets-land-him-porn-star-prom

    Mike Stone. A name like that just HAS to be upper alpha.

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 12:54 pm John Norman Howard

      It beats Dirk Diggler, that’s for sure.

      LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 6:34 am Libertardian

      ‘Inspired, he spent most of January and February sending Twitter messages to about 600 celebrities, including hundreds of porn actresses.

      Stone didn’t woo them with soaring poetry or showers of rose petals. Typical tweets were: “hey Lyndah can u make it to my prom” and “hey nat are you booked up on may 12?”‘

      LOL, he must read Le Chateau. I guess that’s the benefit of twitter; you simply don’t have the room for as much self-sabotaging AFC shit.

      However:

      “Last weekend, porn actress Megan Piper responded
      via Twitter, Stone said. She said he would need to pay for her airfare from Los Angeles.”

      Bringing a porn chick to your HS prom might be worth it just to enrage the usual high school royalty, SWPL parents, your school board, and other assholes. HS students might also see you as a badass for landing a porn star (it’s not the accomplishment they think it is).

      The downside is: as they like to say on a porn industry board I hang out on, “whores lie”. Porn chicks don’t even show up reliably to shoots where they get a month’s rent in LA for a few hours’ work. This chick is just as likely to ask him to send the money and then not show up, or not show up even if he buys the ticket and then sends it, or steal a bunch of his shit, or leave him at the prom and go home with the local jock douchebag. The article says the guy didn’t go to prom as a junior which isn’t encouraging.

      One of my HS teachers, who was as alpha as they get, said he didn’t go to prom b/c he didn’t know any girls in HS who were worth spending that kind of money on. Looking back, I realize he was right on. Stone should raise the money and then just save it for kegs and blow in college.

      LikeLike


    • on March 24, 2012 at 11:52 am loverboi41277

      Hell ya! Megan Piper is one of my favorites!

      There has to be some way I can sneak into this prom…

      LikeLike


  44. on March 22, 2012 at 9:34 am djc

    “If it helps the awful-tasting medicine go down, try to imagine this cruel woman-baiting by egotistical men as the analogue of you ladies outrageously flirting with beta males you have no intention of fucking for the ego thrill of their courtly supplication.”

    Beat me to it.

    LikeLike


  45. on March 22, 2012 at 10:08 am Disciple

    Agreed with all, except disagree with the part about not calling due to probable rejection being a characteristic of a lesser beta.

    Untrue. Running a girl through your own personal flake test – you had a post on this – and then seeing that she’s going to flake and waste your time most likely, and not bothering to even call her to save time sounds pretty alpha to me.

    Long live our King.

    LikeLike


  46. on March 22, 2012 at 11:35 am 20th Level

    Me getting numbers is like a bear shitting in the woods. Its just something I do when I go out. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna call.

    LikeLike


    • on March 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm corvinus

      +1. Same here.

      LikeLike


  47. on March 22, 2012 at 12:57 pm John Norman Howard

    Did anyone mention the Blade Runner reference yet?

    LikeLike


  48. on March 22, 2012 at 5:09 pm Leif

    OT, recent craigslist post in the W4M section. This woman is brutally honest about what her hindbrain wants, er, needs:

    Seeking Intelligent Witty Alpha Male for Slightly Abusive Relationship – w4m – 23

    No, I’m not being facetious.

    I’ve found that the best relationships I’ve had, or at least the ones I was happiest in, were with forceful and dominant Alpha male types. Implicit in that is that they were also, to a certain extent, abusive relationships.

    In order to be happy in a relationship I need to be able to respect the man I’m with, and the only way for me to respect them is if a certain amount of fear is involved, enough so for me to know when to keep my mouth shut. Without the knowledge of guaranteed violent repercussions in the back of my mind, I tend to walk all over the man I am with, and then quickly lose interest in him.

    I am not looking for a mindless brute though. I expect the person I am with to be educated, intelligent, and articulate, otherwise I will eventually get bored. Also, one must be intelligent to be able to be in complete control of another person, and to be effectively sadistic. An abusive relationship is just as much psychological as it is physical.

    Sexually, I need to be made to feel like you own my body and will use it whenever and however you please, without any regard for my desires. “No” should not be in my vocabulary in regards to your sexual needs, sans a few ground rules. I prefer a man who would never ask for permission, instead would unapologetically take what he wants.

    Obviously, since I am posting in this section, I’m not looking for just something casual, but rather an actual relationship. One in which I feel cared for, respected, and loved. That may sound like an apparent contradiction to some, and, admittedly, it is a fine line between acting like men were meant to act and simply being an asshole. Not all men are capable of maintaining the balance between consistently demonstrating affection and simultaneously forcefully establishing their dominance. For example, pointless verbal abuse in the vein of insulting my intelligence, outer appearance, and so forth would not be something I tolerate, while being slapped if I raise my voice at you would be perfectly appropriate.

    As far as the physical: I am 5’1, Caucasian, and I’m told that I’m attractive. I do not have any tattoos or piercings, and I don’t smoke or do drugs.

    I live in the city, and generally won’t consider dating someone who does not. The lack of proximity tends to wear on a relationship.

    I also do not date anyone under 30 or over 45.

    Given that meeting someone through the internet tends initially be based in large part on physical appeal, please send along a face photo with your message.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:20 pm crumpetess

      I could very easily have written this post myself…in fact, I’ve written some that were very similar. Not sure that I would actually use the word “abusive”…but “forceful”, “masterful”, “physically possessive”…definitely.

      “Sexually, I need to be made to feel like you own my body and will use it whenever and however you please, without any regard for my desires. “No” should not be in my vocabulary in regards to your sexual needs, sans a few ground rules. I prefer a man who would never ask for permission, instead would unapologetically take what he wants.”

      Yup. This is pretty much the mantra I live by, with my man. So extraordinarily satisfying. Although he demands my own pleasure of me, as well…but he does so for his own gratification, more than mine.

      LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm Anon

      Women who want to attract a quality man by talking about how their vaginas used to be plunged like backed up toilets by alpha douchebags are dumb.

      Or wait, maybe they assume that modern men are gullible fools who don’t allow themselves to judge a woman’s past.
      I believe they’re assuming right.

      LikeLike


      • on March 24, 2012 at 8:36 am Ben

        *Clop, clop, cloppity, clop*

        The four whoresmen are riding in. Won’t be long now.

        LikeLike


      • on March 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm Anonymous

        Any “quality” man worth his salt knows the value of being the “master”, with the correct measure of subtlety, care, and panache. And the girl posting this could very well be a virgin. It makes no difference. We want what we want, regardless of sexual experience. If you think otherwise, then you haven’t been reading this blog for long.

        LikeLike


      • on March 24, 2012 at 4:36 pm crumpetess

        Any “quality” man worth his salt knows the value of being the “master”, with the correct measure of subtlety, care, and panache. And the girl posting this could very well be a virgin. It makes no difference. We want what we want, regardless of sexual experience. If you think otherwise, then you haven’t been reading this blog for long.

        LikeLike


    • on March 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm Holden Caulfield

      If this was a real craigslist posting, you have to applaud her honesty and ability to perform an accurate self-assessment.

      LikeLike


  49. on March 22, 2012 at 5:51 pm Tmason


    For the record, if a guy shoots an unarmed man unprovoked he deserves the book thrown at him. But I’m more interested in the big picture.

    And by big picture I mean this: http://t.co/fPkCiYoI And the total US media blackout on this: http://t.co/DWWxL8gx

    In the course of arguing with my aunt on this she makes the point that it’s the skewed justice system that is the problem. Her point is that for the crimes you show in the links above there were prosecutions whereas the crime against the teenager and other blacks a good percentage of the time either the perpetrator (who would be white in these cases) don’t get charged or they get off scot-free etc.

    [heartiste: zimmerman the latino (he’s not white) didn’t get off scot-free. he is currently under investigation for a possible crime.]

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 1:22 pm Tmason

      [heartiste: zimmerman the latino (he’s not white) didn’t get off scot-free. he is currently under investigation for a possible crime.]

      Correct, but only after massive protests. That’s her point. If there was no protest he would have walked.

      [heartiste: that’s not what i read about it. evidence was compiling over time, and the police acted when they had enough to pursue a full-fledged investigation. this story is far from being told honestly by aggrieved and exploitative parties, so i think it best to hold off on the speculation until the facts are in.
      anyhow, mostly what i care about is getting the numbskull racial grievance racket and the elite white SWPLs who use them as pawns to accept the fact that zimmerman is latino and not their hoped-for white prole boogeyman.]

      LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm Tmason

        [heartiste: that’s not what i read about it. evidence was compiling over time, and the police acted when they had enough to pursue a full-fledged investigation. this story is far from being told honestly by aggrieved and exploitative parties, so i think it best to hold off on the speculation until the facts are in.
        anyhow, mostly what i care about is getting the numbskull racial grievance racket and the elite white SWPLs who use them as pawns to accept the fact that zimmerman is latino and not their hoped-for white prole boogeyman.]

        Only disagreeing with your assertion evidence was compiling over time. What happened was the DOJ had to interject.

        [heartiste: the holder-run doj will interject in anything that smacks of get whitey time. they mistakenly thought zimmerman was white and the hounds were released. it was funny when news trickled out that he was latino. oopsy! fun time’s over, everyone go home.
        as far as compiling evidence and slow police reaction, maybe the cops were incompetent. maybe they were slow to apprehend our latino perp because assumptions were made prejudicially based on what they knew about the victim. or maybe florida’s stand your ground law automatically gave an undue presumption of innocence to zimmerman. or maybe they just didn’t have enough evidence to arrest zimmerman.
        whatever the cause, it’s premature to assume some kind of systemic racism against blacks. but that’s exactly what the al sharpless crowd loves to do.
        wait for the facts to come out, then render judgment. right now, i’d say it looks bad for zimmerman. from the details i’ve read, it sounds like he shot someone dead without sufficient provocation. that’s manslaughter or even murder 2 in my book.
        as for the kneejerk anti-white media, well, they can go suck my ballsack.]

        LikeLike


      • on March 24, 2012 at 8:54 am Spiralina

        @ heartiste –

        That was exactly my take on this. It seems like a pretty straightforward case of manslaughter and/or murder. Zimmerman ignored the 911 dispatcher, pursued and killed an unarmed kid. Open and shut. I have no idea why the Florida police didn’t make an arrest more quickly – I’m sure it will come out over time, but the police chief stepping down certainly doesn’t inspire confidence in their decision-making process.

        Personally, I think the Stand Your Ground law as it’s written is insane, and should be amended. It’s difficult to imagine a scenario where an untrained civilian would be able to decide when and where deadly force should be applied while in a stressful situation. It seems like a recipe for these types of tragedies to happen over and over again.

        And I just ignore the people screaming and making this a huge racial issue. This situation could’ve happened to anyone. Ironically, they are actually taking away from the victim by turning him into a symbol for all their racial grievances.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm James

        If he pursued the guy stand your ground laws do not cover him.

        LikeLike


  50. on March 22, 2012 at 6:27 pm Anon

    File under Chicks dig jerks

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2116226/Tamara-Ecclestone-stockbroker-boyfriend-ex-prisoner-conviction-violence.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

    Or how to treat women who don’t need providers.

    I watched the first episode of her infamous show, and if the spoilt little brat shit doesn’t make you puke, you can learn something by watching how the boyfriend treats the entitled princess. He’s a true dark triad who doesn’t need game lessons:

    http://www.channel5.com/shows/tamara-ecclestone-billion-girl/episodes/episode-1-375

    LikeLike


  51. on March 22, 2012 at 7:39 pm sad

    I’m seeing a girl, we had sex, ..and i like her and she likes me. So I decide to do a little internet stalking and I come across this…

    http://magiczeta.blogspot.com/

    she had a fling with some alpha-male named pedro and I think she was hinting that she was cheating on her ‘baby’ at the time. Should I end this now? fuck, i really liked her

    [heartiste: do you sense she is cheating on you? if so, and if you’re still fucking her and the sex is good, don’t end it. just refrain from investing anything in her and start looking hard for a replacement. when the time is right (you’ll know), leave a note behind saying “thanks for the easy lays. from the both of us.” lesson learned.]

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:16 pm P Ray

      Don’t invest in sluts.
      You can never defeat their hamster. Seen too many friends try that.
      She makes trouble, she’s choosing to be without you.

      LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm sad

      Nah, we only been seeing each-other for 2 weeks. I fucked her on the 2nd date, could have fucked her on the first but she said “I’ve been hurt before” or some bullshit like that. I just stumbled upon her blog and it seems like she was cheating on her boyfriend at the time(not me), I’m just thinking if she cheated on him same shit will happen to me. thanks for the advice guys!

      LikeLike


    • on March 24, 2012 at 8:47 am Ben

      Don’t invest. Use and abuse. Follow the heartiste wisdom but make sure you shame it for the slut it is–for society’s sake.

      LikeLike


  52. on March 22, 2012 at 7:51 pm Anonymous

    Casual glances or brief eye contact can be invigorating to both participants. And no one gets hurt.

    LikeLike


  53. on March 22, 2012 at 9:07 pm Anonymous

    Getting flaked on makes me want to stop bothering with plain number closes. I don’t really expect a girl to answer the phone or text back when I just got her number after a brief conversation.

    LikeLike


  54. on March 22, 2012 at 10:02 pm Anonymous

    The latest from de-masculinized Beta-fied pussy England…

    “Leave your toothbrush in my bathroom? I’d better call my lawyer first,” by Melissa Kite, Daily Mail (UK), 21 MAR 12
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2118420/Leave-toothbrush-bathroom-Id-better-lawyer-Forget-pre-nups-women-demanding-cohabitation-contracts.html

    “Forget pre-nups, now women are demanding ‘cohabitation contracts’ before their lovers even move in. …”

    Flush the loo, Britain is done. Sharia will fix that after the Caliphate takes over.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm Fred Rotten

      “…now women are demanding ‘cohabitation contracts’…”

      (grabbing my pay-kage) Women can demand my ass cheeks.

      LikeLike


  55. on March 22, 2012 at 10:23 pm Jerry

    In my early 20s I would get plenty of girls #’s, call them back, and 95% of the time they wouldn’t call me back. I would try calling one more time and then delete their number.

    Now in my late 20s I don’t bother calling them anymore, because I’m sick of my calls being ignored, and even if we do end up setting something up, I’m expected to pay for whatever we do? No thanks

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 11:46 am itsme

      girls these days – especially younger ones – don’t call, they text.

      learn text game and you can turn things around.

      LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 2:18 pm P Ray

        The ones to watch out for are those that demand talk time (since it keeps you busy from communicating with other girls) …
        and use that as bragging rights for the next guy to jump through hoops.
        Since talk time isn’t free, those girls are also getting the equivalent of a date with attention, without committing anything except their fabulous life (yeah right).
        Let those talkers go, too.

        LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:03 pm V

      Set something up that doesn’t cost anything or doesn’t cost much.

      LikeLike


    • on March 25, 2012 at 8:19 am Lara

      V’s advice is good. Girls like it when you plan a date, but it doesn’t have to be expensive. You shouldn’t be spending a lot of money on a girl who you haven’t even kissed. Also, get over your bitter beta victim mentality. Girls can pick up on that.

      [heartiste: chicks dig a man with a plan.]

      LikeLike


  56. on March 22, 2012 at 11:13 pm Bwana Simba

    Or it could be we figured out they are crazy bitches later on. Example: I showed some interest in a girl at my church, pissed her off by refusing to say please when I told her to move, She then went out, found the closest nice guy… and beat the crap out of him (we were on a trip to Vegas and I was trying to get back into my vehicle.)

    LikeLike


  57. on March 22, 2012 at 11:23 pm Anonymous

    Being a man itself is an ego boost. Comparing yourself to an AW is like a god getting off at crushing an ant. All you need to do is look around and stare at anything e.g. a building and ask yourself would it have come about if the power dialectic was reversed.

    LikeLike


  58. on March 23, 2012 at 1:03 am Doc

    More than a few times, I’ve forgotten the face that goes with the name/number. And while I try to make a note on the number – or in the “name” if I used the cell phone call to get her number – sometimes I forget which one she was and “cute blonde” isn’t very informative the next morning, or a day later.

    And sometimes, I’ll get a number of one woman in a group, just as an “in” for my real target.

    And I know myself well enough, to know that as the evening goes on, sometimes the “beer goggles” kick in so if I got the number after the first hour in a club, I usually trash it just to be on the safe side… Not always, but some of the time.

    LikeLike


  59. on March 23, 2012 at 5:28 am Libertardian

    OT.

    “And by big picture I mean this: http://t.co/fPkCiYoI And the total US media blackout on this: http://t.co/DWWxL8gx”

    Or this gem, which was caught on video that is repeatedly being pulled from YouTube.

    http://www.theblaze.com/stories/white-fuin-mother-fuers-would-die-fl-student-flips-out-in-class-threatens-to-kill-prof/

    Or this…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wichita_Massacre

    Or this…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murders_of_Channon_Christian_and_Christopher_Newsom

    Or this…

    http://cofcc.org/2010/07/actual-dragging-deaths-censored-by-the-mainstream-press/

    Is there at least one in there you’ve never heard of? I bet there is.

    Bonus round:

    See how many articles you can google about this:

    http://www.redmond-reporter.com/news/106327748.html

    before you can find one that shows the perp. Typing your guess into the search box is cheating.

    Thankfully, none of these were hate crimes.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm John Norman Howard

      Well done… I wish it were not so.

      The most aggravating thing about it all is that when you mention the names Channon Christian, Christopher Newsom, and/or The Wichita Massacre to an SWPL, they don’t even have the decency to look it up.. and merely continue on in their loved Egyptian night.

      LikeLike


  60. on March 23, 2012 at 8:24 am umslopogaas

    @Heartiste:

    “I’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion…”

    Awesome. Props and restepca to the max for this Bladerunner pun. Really made my day.

    Heh. But why not roll with it some more, go for full Monty?

    “I’ve seen cunts you people wouldn’t believe. Attack bitches burning of the shoulder of Club Orion. And I saw shemales…slittering in the darkness…searching for Tannhauser’s “Gate”. All these…moments…will be lost in time…just like beers in my gut.”

    Te gusta.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 2:19 pm P Ray

      “You can’t talk about women like that. What about your mother?”

      “Let me tell you about my mother!”

      LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm John Norman Howard

      Worth a chuckle… but there’s a fine line between drama and melodrama.

      LikeLike


  61. on March 23, 2012 at 9:24 am Do you need any reason to be confident? | Optimum Awareness Leads to Optimum Control in Your Life

    […] she did was just plain encouragement. What more if it was an informative, awareness –enhancing, no-holds-barred, self image broadening type of encouragement that was done to these kids like websites like […]

    LikeLike


  62. on March 23, 2012 at 11:12 am Island

    I am imagining a phd student, 29 years old with a moe howard hair cut, pining for the good old days.

    http://mystreetmybodymyright.tumblr.com/post/19651731625

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 3:24 pm Fred Rotten

      After reading the link you’ve provided, which, as I’m sure you’d agree, is one of the gayest things ever written in the English language, I can only conclude that women must truly hate being women.

      Men are often accused of hating women, and women have an entire government and media and social apparatus to express their hatred towards men. But more often than not the message women *actually* send seems to be, “I hate being a woman; we hate being women.” And to a lesser extent, “Now let us schedule some kind of crazy-ass protest march so that our hate may find nourishment.”

      LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm itsme

      lol

      http://gotstared.at/

      how come it’s only the ones who got pummelled by god’s almighty ugly stick that make the most noise about being harassed?

      [heartiste: they have a case of the wishful thoughts.]

      it’s almost like they’re screaming to convince everyone and themselves that they’ve got some miniscule shred of attractiveness.

      women who don’t have serious self esteem issues and are well adjusted socially don’t fly off the handle.

      i remember once when i was a teen growing up in cali, i was swimming in the community pool and brushed past a swimmer going the other way.

      it was a girl and she TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT.

      she was screaming ‘GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!’

      i didn’t have any harpoons so i just got the fuck out of there.

      i bet at some point in her life she blogged about being fisted by some creep in a pool or some shit.

      [always have “fuck you cunt” ready at your disposal. shuts most crazy bitches right up. or drives them to insanity which is when the real fun begins.]

      LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 7:49 am P Ray

        This article should accompany that link
        http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersSubmissions2011/reader6932.htm
        By Korski
        She tells me her name is Marlene. She’s a senior anthropology major at Washington University in St. Louis, and currently on an exchange program for five months, studying at a university in Delhi. By any measure, Marlene is attractive. She’s a tall brunette with a full and open smile and good white teeth, and large and bright green eyes. She’s got a tiny diamond on the right side of her nose that she got not long after arriving in India. She got it, I will conclude by the time I leave her, to identity with the hundreds of millions of Indian women who have the same thing, in gold or silver, but usually on the other side of the nose, women who, in Marlene’s world, need to be “empowered.” On my scale for judging the physical beauty of women, Marlene ranks a solid eight, and she’d be a nine were it not for the chunky toes and the chipped nail polish on her feet and long-fingered hands. But by the time I’ve had a carrot and tomato and pork sandwich and gone through three lemon ice teas and had a vigorous exchange with Marlene, her number—all things considered (and all smart men consider all things when judging the beauty of a woman)—has dropped to a one, and that’s being generous. I conclude that as polite in her well-mannered Long Island way as she is, Marlene is, in fact, a long and very fat stick of feminist dynamite with a fuse too short to measure in inches.

        I’m not far into my late lunch when Marlene introduces me to a whole new concept I’d never before heard. And that concept is “eye rape.” Poor Marlene has been eye raped more times by Indian men than she’s able to recount for my benefit. What’s going on here, Marlene says, is that because of the way Indian men look at her wherever she goes they’re eye raping her. They “leer” at her, and in so doing they’re “robbing” her of her “very personal, personal space.” This makes Marlene feel most uncomfortable—and any aware man in America today knows that words like leering and making a woman feel uncomfortable and invading personal space are more than sufficient grounds for a formal charge of sexual harassment.

        But Indian men on the street don’t just leer and invade Marlene’s personal space, some of them approach her and ask her where she is going, just as they ask me all the time where I’m going. They ask her where she is from, just as they ask me where I’m from. But do the Indian men on the street touch Marlene? No. Do they ask her if they can f*** her? No. Do they grab her ass? No. Then what’s the problem? I wonder as she tells me all this while I’m trying to get some pieces of carrot out of my teeth with a nifty little two-notch at-the-top toothpick. It just all comes back to the way they look at her, the way she is made “uncomfortable.” It all comes around to eye rape, which now and again she laughs about after uttering these quite toxic paired words.

        But you’re an anthropologist, I say. You know, or should know, all about cross-cultural differences and it’s your job to take them as they are, to try to understand them. What is it about Indian men on the subcontinent that makes them so avidly stare at someone like you, someone quite attractive, as you must be aware? Anthropologists talk all the time about the Other, which is all about accepting differences. They were into multiculturalism long before the rest of the world discovered the idea. It should be easy for you, I go on, especially being here in India, to keep everything about these leering Indian men in perspective. Surely you must have been told in an anthro class before coming that Indians, like all Asians, love white skin, and these young men can’t get laid, other than in a fifty rupee rat-infested whorehouse, until they get married.

        I see your point, she says. And then, the words barely out of her mouth, she goes back to these awful leering Indian men who make her uncomfortable, squeeze her personal space into a whiskey glass.

        I say, If they get too close and you don’t like what they’re saying, just get up close and look them in the eye and tell them to f*** off. I drag out the words f*** off like it’s a ten-day slow train from Shanghai to Yangon.

        I see your point, she says again, as she will say a good thirty times in our conversation. And in this part of the conversation, she follows with: I just can’t do that, tell them to f*** off. I’m not like that.

        Then tell them politely to leave you alone, just like I tell all the touts and the kid and mom beggars that hang all over me and other foreigners like runny Maple syrup.

        I see your point, she says.

        Are you familiar with what anthropologists have found on cliterodictomies in Africa? I say.

        Oh yes, she says. She names a few countries in Africa where women are subjected to this form of mutilation that not only kills some of the women but, I’m damn certain, robs them of ever experiencing a good orgasm, or any kind of an orgasm for that matter.

        Does this bother you? I say, that women are mutilated, even die from some asshole taking a crude knife to their clitorises? Would you like to forbid this practice, as I’m sure you’d like to make it widely known to Indian men that eye rape is beyond the pale?

        But cliterodictomies are different, she says. They are part of the social systems where they are found, and they have important symbolic value in initiation rites.

        So you think invasion of your personal space is another matter, and is wrong in a way that cliterodictomies are not?

        Yes, I do, she says. Men don’t have the right to eye rape me or violate my personal space.

        As this conversation unfolds, all I can think about is eye rape, and that this good looking, articulate young woman with lots of self-assurance scares the f*** out of me. Damn good thing she’s not in one of my classes, I’m also thinking. She might accuse me of eye rape when I point to her and smile and say, Give me a nineteen word definition of evolution by natural selection, which is something I do all the time to my students as I wander the large lecture hall, pointing to anyone my eyes land on. I can just see it now, vividly, in an official letter from the administration. “We wish to inform you that you have been officially charged with eye rape.”

        F*** me nineteen times over.

        I say to Marlene, You ever have a student on campus go up to you and say, Would you like to come to my place tonight so we can have a little fun?

        I had one, she says. He wasn’t a student. I said, I don’t know you, so the answer is no.

        So what did he say then?

        He said, You’re a real cunt.

        Were you offended?

        I laughed to myself.

        That’s all?

        Yes.

        An Indian ever ask you to go with him to have fun, or get it on?

        No.

        I’m thinking: whatever Marlene learned in anthropology got swamped by some mate-hating female prof with one hell of an agenda. Women’s Studies, the Great Toxic Sickness on American university campuses—where you pick up kinky and perverted ideas about men and how to deal with them, which are certain to be disastrous in a relationship of any kind, even for a man with one ball and a three-inch pecker and less than half an ounce of self-respect.

        I say, I’m curious. Is there a lot of rape on your campus in St. Louis?

        She says, One in four women is sexually molested. She says it dead serious like. Like it’s a fact as solid as the fact that the earth revolves around the sun. Like it’s right there in her notebook, page 14, line 3, fourth day of classes, the day she got the lecture on living in a paternalistic society (what she tells me at one point), the day she got the fourth genderized (male and female don’t exist in the social sciences, it’s all about gender, all the time) lecture in a row letting her know that it’s all about power and power inequality and men taking advantage. Now I’m beginning to think: Cole, you bring a girlfriend like Marlene home and you and I are going to have a serious talk, and we’re going to have that talk even after you tell me that she loves you to death and has an I.Q. of 150 and she makes you dizzy for days she’s so hot in bed.

        One in four? I say. What does that mean? And I think: One in four women on American college campuses have been eye raped. Herein we have a new definition of paranoia on college campuses.

        Get me the f*** out of here!

        Well, she says, it means their personal space has been invaded, they have been made uncomfortable.

        Hum…what does she think of me? Leaning over my half-eaten sandwich, and toward her, my hands grabbing for hot air and pesky flies, the way I more or less behave all the time when trying to make a point or two. And with eye contact as strong as any she’ll ever encounter in her life.

        I tell Marlene about the scores of men in Southeast Asia that I’ve met who refer to American women as femi-nazi. And I tell her why, in great detail, my sandwich now being eaten by and shit on by a battalion of flies. I’m starting to ask myself why I’m here in Varanasi giving a lecture to this good looking American chick from New York that doesn’t have a clue what anthropology is all about, and sees men everywhere molesting her, raping her with their eyes.

        I see your point, Marlene says, after my very polite lecture hall monologue on why the word femi-nazi is one of the first words out of the mouths of expats when someone says the words: American woman, Aussie woman, Kiwi woman, English woman.

        We chat about NGOs, and I discover that not only is Marlene a hot-trotting feminist cum anthropologist, but that she’s also going to save the world, not find herself with one of the money-grubbing incompetent NGOs that I hear about every other day in Asia. I give her several examples of self-serving misguided NGOs in Cambodia, NGO capital of the world, and after each one she lets me know that she’ll never find herself working for one that will, like those in India and elsewhere, turn two blind eyes to rampant corruption because if they don’t they won’t have their big cars and fat salaries. It just won’t happen to Marlene. Nor, I’m sure, will any of the Indian men in the NGOs she works for ever dream of eye raping her.

        We chat about family planning, what she’s into for her anthropological research, what brought her to Varanasi. I say that what’s needed in a country like India with far too many people and a growing population is an active program of distributing condoms. I’ve got it all wrong, Marlene informs me. It’s not about getting practical and handing out condoms or anything along these lines, it’s about getting theoretical, letting the women know that there are important gender issues they need to consider. Indian women need to know all about getting empowered. Empowered, empowered, empowered… I infer from all this that I’m hearing that an Indian woman, once she gets the theory of empowerment down pat, a la some woman’s studies prof who never got farther afield than the courtyard at Harvard, will know precisely how to politely tell her Indian husband to f*** off when he lets her know that she’s going to get acid in the face if she doesn’t get pregnant within one year, the time limit he gave her the night he turned out the lights and took her virginity.

        I’m starting to think I need a beer, maybe several of them, what I’m having a hard time finding in this holiest of holy city. And I’m trying to remember which of my many names I gave to Marlene. Was it Dan Jansen, my latest fictional creation, the dude who talks to Burmese pythons? Or did I use one of my other names and tell her I’m from San Francisco and that I buy and sell very expensive real estate to make the money that allows me to travel for as long as I do?

        I get up to leave and I wish Marlene well in her feminized anthropological research on empowering Indian women, and I think again of my son, Cole, and I think, Maybe I better get him to Asia soon so he can get infected with jasmine or yellow fever. Then he won’t have to deal with what no sane man wants to get near unless he’s using an alias and finds himself in ancient India where it takes no effort at all to disappear down a dark and dirty alley if the leering gets out of control.

        LikeLike


  63. on March 23, 2012 at 12:56 pm konan13

    I need some advice about something mildly related. Girl’s behavior is confusing me. She pursued me hard for a few months, and I wasn’t interested for a few reasons. I thought she was crazy to pursue me too…she’s pretty, intelligent, feminine, comes off as a “good girl,” and I’d thought she’d have a boyfriend easily or at least better things to do than pursue me when I was clearly not interested. I even tried to set her up with a friend, which only made her more determined to come after me. At the time I thought she was just a weirdo who had little social life because she was texting and emailing me all the time, on weekend nights and whatever, and coming on to me hard whenever we met. Anyway, I eventually gave in when she basically threw herself at me. But, and here’s the confusing part, the “affair” that followed was totally lame. Almost as soon as we started anything she began to be bitchy, demanding, to make up fights over any small thing. I was leaving the country soon so I shrugged it off and kept meeting her, assuming that she’s just crazy/weirdo.

    Given her behavior, I didn’t invest anything in her, never bought her stuff, never let her get in the way of my plans, etc., but even so I did spend time with her so now I feel cheated, and also I’m trying to understand this. I thought that because she was pursuing me so much that it meant she was really hot for me, and instead it turned out so badly. And now much later I find out that she’s been with at least about 4-5 other guys that year (supposedly not concurrently with me) and strongly suspect that at least with some of them she was nice and sweet and romantic, etc., so now I’m saying wtf. She was seeing at least one guy while she was pursuing me. She comes off as a complete good girl, so is she just a secret mentally ill slut or something? Obviously then I suspect she doesn’t act like a crazy bitch with every guy, so now I’m quite insulted by her behavior and thinking of taking countermeasures. She kept complaining I was “inconsiderate” and “unhelpful” and “pushy,” but it turns out that she’s capable of having flings where she doesn’t demand these things. Anyway, I already called her a whore so we’re not talking anymore, but maybe I should prank her.

    But mostly I’m just trying to understand why a girl like that would be so persistent in coming after me, and then as soon as I give in, she starts to act like a lunatic/nagging wife. I suspect she’s just an oddball and doesn’t fit the general pattern of female behavior, but maybe if someone is familiar with this behavior or type I can get some advice. My suspicion is that she’s in fact a selfish slut/brunch “good girl” and just wanted to see if I’d agree to her advances for self-affirmation/ego reasons, and then quickly got tired of me once I did give in. But this is unusual to begin with, and she pursued me intensely for months, so how does it add up. And then it doesn’t explain why she’d keep seeing me just to start fights, etc. Another option is that she was trying to turn me into her beta/emotional provider boyfriend and was angry I wasn’t filling up the role, but this confuses me because I never gave any signs that I’d be at all up for that while she was pursuing me. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here about female nature, or maybe she’s just mentally damaged and unusual.

    LikeLike


    • on March 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm itsme

      maybe she mistook your interest disinterest for alpha aloofness, but then realized you weren’t quite as alpha as she thought once she ensnared you. i mean, come on, you said she was crazy to pursue you…not exactly an alpha attitude to have.

      but also, sometimes bitches just be crazy and there ain’t no good explanation for it.

      there’s no such thing as a ‘good girl’.

      LikeLike


      • on March 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm konan13

        No I think it’s crazy for a pretty girl to pursue you for months when you show no interest and even try to get rid of her, set her up with friends, etc., no matter how alpha you are.

        Yes I’m not sure if it’s just a case of she’s crazy. As for her realizing I’m not alpha she had plenty of time to realize this before. I suspect though that it’s a case of insanity unless someone has dealt with this before.

        I know there are no good girls and she fucked or at least did stuff with 5-7 guys in one year so she’s not, but I mean in terms of self-image and manner. The kind of girl who gives a good girl vibe, doesn’t go out to clubs, etc.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 7:55 am P Ray

        Sin ’till Saturday,
        Church on Sunday.
        That type is distressingly common.

        LikeLike


    • on March 24, 2012 at 8:45 am Ben

      Wow dude, you’ve got some serious hamster going there.

      Advice:

      1. Quieten your mind. Learn how to meditate. All this yip yapping makes you sound like a woman. Do this and things will work themselves out. I can’t be bothered reading your textwall to give you specific advice.

      2. Get a hobby. Learn the guitar. You’ve obviously got a lot of time, use it more productively.

      LikeLike


    • on March 24, 2012 at 12:02 pm loverboi41277

      One time a caller on the Tom Leykis show hit the nail on the head:

      ‘Year after year women get crazier and crazier’

      ‘Sex and the City’ and ‘Wild Things’ I think unleashed some part of pandoras box or something.

      LikeLike


    • on March 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm Anonymous

      How many times did you have sex with her? Reading this, it doesn’t sound like you were that alpha with her.

      LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 1:33 am konan13

        This is not about alpha, I don’t care if I’m alpha or not or looking for alpha or beta confirmation, you can call me omega if you like. I’m trying to understand her behavior. It doesn’t seem to fit many known patterns. If I was not alpha then that’s fine but it still doesn’t explain her behavior.

        I want to know if someone knows such types and can figure out the behavior.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 7:58 am wol

        Lol..Konan…Maybe it doesn’t fit any known patterns because you haven’t been truthful with yourself on how alpha or beta you really were.

        “Anyway, I already called her a whore so we’re not talking anymore, but maybe I should prank her.”

        Pretty much says it all.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 8:05 am Lara

        Two possibilities:
        A. This girl is wired completely differently from every other female on earth.
        B. You acted beta and turned her off.

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 3:54 pm konan13

        Are you a troll, surely there are variations. There are different types of women and they respond differently in different situations to alpha/beta situation. If I was acting beta, she had months to notice this before she threw herself at me. It’s not like I started saying how much I loved her or asking to do her groceries after I gave in to her. I acted the same way as before. That may have been not perfectly alpha or beta, who knows, but it doesn’t answer my question.

        I doubt actually that I turned her on in the first place. That’s the most simple explanation. She was pursuing me for ego-boost etc., but would a girl (with options) really pursue you for months just for that?

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 4:17 am Deepcov3r

        diagnosis one-itis due to amount of posting about her. Who she is is irrelevant, because you are letting her affect you far more than is optimal.

        LikeLike


    • on March 25, 2012 at 7:53 am P Ray

      She wanted a guy so she could brag to her female friends.
      She throws tantrums around you because she doesn’t want to be in a real relationship with you.
      So she gets to tell other guys “I’m in a relationship” …
      while she tells other girls “Let me tell you what my idiot boyfriend did”.
      You are the placeholder until the guy she really wants comes along.
      She won’t give him any drama, I can guarantee it.

      LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 3:37 pm konan13

        Yes this is my thought as well, but what doesn’t fit is just how persistent and even desperate she acted in coming after me, for a long time, when I was showing no interest. It doesn’t make sense that then as soon as I give in, she starts acting out and showing typical signs of disinterest/nagging/drama. Also, she was a lot more interested in me sexually than I was in her.

        To all the people who keep saying I’m beta, I already concede that I may have acted this way, or even omega, but it still doesn’t explain her behavior. It’s OK if you didn’t read what I wrote, but this isn’t an explanation. If I was acting beta or omega then why did she pursue me so relentlessly in the first place. I gave no signs whatsoever at the time or later that I’d be interested in typical “beta” activities. I wasn’t caring, helpful, provider, etc.

        Also what’s wrong with playing pranks on her??

        LikeLike


      • on March 25, 2012 at 10:41 pm P Ray

        She needs you to be “alpha” so that she doesn’t lose cred to her friends about her stories BUT
        she wants you to have no options besides her.
        Solution: Meet up with another girl when you know she’s around, and have a good time with that girl.
        You’re going to be crapped on in any case, whether you stay loyal to her or not … so might as well move on.
        If the both of you haven’t agreed that you are in a relationship … you aren’t.

        P.S. about the pranking thing, you can try letting the guys in the chess club know that she fancies them. She’s looking for guys who treat her better than “dumb ol’ you” and since they’re the strategic type they understand risk and reward well.

        If she doesn’t hit it off with them … she’s not going to dare retaliate because of their ability to make her grades and social life turn to crap …
        and if she does … you’ve given someone else the chance to discover if the trash can turn into treasure.

        LikeLike


      • on March 26, 2012 at 9:12 am Lara

        I’m wondering if she thinks you’re gay.

        LikeLike


  64. on March 24, 2012 at 8:38 pm Mike

    “I’ve seen attack bitches burning off the shoulder of Club Orion”

    I actually laughed out loud. And by laughed out loud, I mean I really did, not just say I did ie LOL

    LikeLike


  65. on March 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm moses

    Unrelated – Mom gets backlash from putting her obese daughter on a strict diet. Check out the comments from the fat-is-normal-and-good crowd:

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/vogue-article-mom-7-old-daughter-weight-sparks-175546979.html

    In other news, a friend of mine in Irvine CA reports that kids at his daughter’s school are no longer allowed to play tag because “kids touch each other.”

    America is getting totally f*cked up.

    LikeLike


    • on March 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm Joe Eoj

      Umm, I read the article you posted, and the mother’s behaviour is wrong not because of the fact that she put her daughter on a diet, but for the bizarre, inconsistent, theatrical and stupid way in which she did it.

      1. Pizza day is okay, as long as you don’t have salad too? Wrong!

      2. Big school lunch therefore no dinner? Stupid.

      3. Cakes: okay or not okay, depending on the mother’s mood? Dumb.

      4. Ordering your kid a hot chocolate, then taking it back and pouring it in the garbage bin? Dumb, dumb and stupid.

      Seven-year-old kids have amazing metabolisms and lots of energy; if you give them plenty of healthy food, deny them access to huge quantities of junk and make ’em go and play outside at every opportunity, they shoudn’t be fat. There’s no reason to make ’em diet like a 32-year-old woman.

      LikeLike


  66. on March 25, 2012 at 10:54 pm konan13

    I’m thinking of playing pranks. This is advisable payback for a girl I think. I’m not interested in having her back by the way, so any prank goes.

    There should be some advice on these things. If a male friend fucks you over it’s not enough just to cut off contact. It’s time for a prank!

    LikeLike


    • on April 12, 2012 at 9:50 am hypnoshado

      Use craigslist… but buyer beware:
      http://hypnoshado.blogspot.com/2011/10/cost-of-forgetting.html

      LikeLike


  67. on April 12, 2012 at 9:49 am hypnoshado

    On the money. As you put it I usually chalk it up to a pleasure fix, ego boost, or a consolation prize to make myself feel like I didn’t go home without anything so the night doesn’t feel like a complete wash.

    LikeLike



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