The reader from yesterday’s post who wanted to know how to parry a girl he banged who dumped the “I have a boyfriend” excuse on him, has responded with a follow-up.
I replied before I read any of the advice on here. For those who are interested, here is the resulting conversation. I went, uh, a little too raunchy and was too eager. I thought she’d be into it after how she was in bed. Good lessons for the future when it might matter.
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
(60 mins later)Me: youre waxing before 4
(3 mins)Her: What do you think is going to happen?
(0 mins)Her: Nvm you and I are not fucking[in the future, I should just stop here and say nothing / right / huh?. But I felt like I was doing good so I ran for it and fumbled the ball]
(60 mins)Me: i think i’d bend you over
(14 mins)Her: I’m done with this conversation
(30 mins)Me: is that what you really want?
(19 mins) Her: Yea, its not happening
(20 mins)Me: cool
Unfortunately, the reader did not have the benefit of the advice found on this blog when he attempted to re-game this cheating slut (by her own words). If he had, I’m convinced the girl would have acted more positively, and another bang would have been in the cards. Now, I doubt it will ever happen with her.
First, let me remind the reader that it takes at least three vigorous bangs to oxytocinally bond the typical urban slut to his cock and only his cock. And the sluttier the girl, the more bangs will be required before she is entranced by your testicular essence. Only 18 year old virgins and desperate fatties bond sufficiently on the first bang, unless you are a super alpha, in which case the merest eddy of your hot breath on any woman’s neck will be enough to spoil her for all other men.
It seems obvious now that this girl was deep into anti-slut defensive territory, and fearful of her reputation. When the reader assumed her further acquiescent defilement he only pushed her more into her turtle shell. Let’s break this exchange down.
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
I think she bit through his reply to the juicy, sour grapes center. And of course, she savored it:
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Interestingly, she responded with TWO texts in a row, the second of which was her qualifying her desirability to him, a glaring admission of insecurity. This is not the norm from girls who really want nothing more to do with a guy. Typically, one shutdown text, and then radio silence is what you’ll get from girls who feel nothing but indifference. The reader still had a shot at this point.
(60 mins later)Me: youre waxing before 4
She was looking for some signs of emotional connection from him to ease her feelings of sluttiness, but instead she got more x-rated porn. Consequently:
(3 mins)Her: What do you think is going to happen?
(0 mins)Her: Nvm you and I are not fucking
This is what a woman’s dashed hopes look like in SMS. This is a woman’s disappointment in text. She left the door open for him, but he did not properly read her signals, and the result was her pussy lips snapping shut for real. I’m fairly sure now that this girl was down for more bangs if he had played his game right.
(60 mins)Me: i think i’d bend you over
(14 mins)Her: I’m done with this conversation
He’s digging his hole deeper.
(30 mins)Me: is that what you really want?
(19 mins) Her: Yea, its not happening
(20 mins)Me: cool
Aaaaaand…… fin.
I would like to point something out. Notice how her text replies started somewhat lengthy and ended up short and succinct. This is the inevitable progression of a girl who is losing interest. Use this as a general rule of thumb: the longer a girl’s texts, emails or conversations carry on, the more her interest in you is growing. Womanly bloviating = good. Cunty curtness = bad.
The evidence suggests that this girl was, contrary to her IHAB excuse, down to fuck again. Waltzing through the first fuck door is the hardest. It should get easier once you are seducing DTFA girls. She entered the text convo leaving windows open for the reader to sneak in like a ninja. He fumbled at the sill and fell into a holly bush. She left the convo with the windows locked tight.
Suggestions have already been made how this reader should have replied to the IHAB excuse, but that was before we all had the actual follow-up to examine. Now that the reader has gifted us with the real life follow-up, it’s time for the floor to have a go at it. Is your interpretation of this text massacre different than mine? How would you have replied to this girl? Winners with the tightest game announced later in the week.
best response = no response
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TFM?
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TFM.
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And if you can’t manage that or feel like twitting the woman…keep it to really very simple, curt replies. One word in many cases will suffice…
Lame.
Gay.
Cute. (Or… How cute…)
Really?
And?
All of these work to put the issue back in her lap. She’s the one reaching for one of the oldest lines in the book. (If she really cared about said “boyfriend” in the manner implied by the line, she’d not have placed herself in the position to have been bedded by yourself.)
It may get you nowhere, but silence will certainly do it for you at that juncture- which may be what you actually want anyhow. Move on to the next woman.
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Agree. Just ignore her initial text. Silence is golden.
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Failing that, just say: “stalker.”
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(60 mins later)Me: this is boring
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Good one.
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It’s ironic that one post will have hundreds of comments denouncing how American chicks are slutty, hypergamous, & alpha cock-obsessed, while another post will have hundreds of comments about how to get them.
Can’t have it both ways.
American chicks are all whores because American men are all whoremongers. In reality, it’s every American man for himself, competing for the same group of slutty/obese/hypergamous/feminist/useless chicks to put his dick into.
To the original poster:
You got what you wanted… a whore. But now you want some kind of relationship with her. The irony.
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Totally Correct,… that is pure understanding at its finest! you have to see ‘game’ all the way through,…………..and it was well said, in above post…… that is why Texting back, “right” immediantly and moving on with your life is the best option…
game is like any other activity,.. you not only have to know what you are doing,..and how to do it succesfully,.. but you also have to understand why your are doing,..and the final verdict on its value.
If you are going spend your days bartering with the devils wares, pay your dues…Knowing full well, the depreciationg value of the gain/ (game).
just saying………….you have to play with both eyes open,.. Your not picking up, sweet sainly girls here,.. your picking up the cheap ones, and if you succeed, that is exactly what you get.
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Interesting how you’ve reversed that causality. American chicks are all whores BECAUSE American men are whoremongers? It couldn’t be the other way around, eh?
The OP wanted another bang. Equating that as a relationship and then summarily trying to find “irony” is patently idiotic.
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It’s another idiot whiteknight… What can ya say?
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Really?
The biggest problem with your line of reasoning there is that this is the END RESULT of the problem you say “can’t have it both ways”. They’re very much, in the large, a batch of “slutty, hypergamous, & alpha cock-obsessed” bitches. How do you get out of the situation? Doing without? RIIIGHT.
Relationship with women in this country? Well, yeah and no. Biggest problem is that your little world you talk to happens to be where a woman can cry “rape” at the drop of a hat on you. It’s a world where she can divorce you at the drop of a hat and bleed you dry, oftentimes for the rest of your life. Relationship with one of them? No…NOT ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
I’d love to have a relationship- but it’s an illusion in this country and little else. Until you see the collapse or the women wake up and wise up, it’s going to pretty much stay that way- so, quite simply, I’d rather speed up the collapse or the wake up call, thank you very fucking much.
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No, all women are either sluts or whores, and sometimes play the other side when it’s needed. American women are just less well managed because they’ve been convinced that they don’t need guidance, and men have been taught that guiding them in the right direction is bad.
In that light, you are correct that having a relationship with one, especially one who is cheating on her boyfriend, is unwise to say the least.
Thing is, love still happens, and this is not going to change. So long as someone does it with their eyes open, the damage is minimal.
It’s a crappy thing, but to some degree, both men and women who aren’t broken and still have hearts have to learn, nowadays, to love from a safe distance. We can’t not love people. We just have to understand that the way we experience it or express it might not be how others do. So if one of us lands on a set of genitals attached to someone whose company we like, we’re going to tend to want to hold onto that, even if we understand they might not be the best long term choice.
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Nicole: So if one of us lands on a set of genitals attached to someone whose company we like, we’re going to tend to want to hold onto that, even if we understand they might not be the best long term choice.
HM: Indeed. It is very difficult when you so often feel distant and removed from relationships/dating (even when you do sincerely like someone) to understand and cope with that REALLY strong “in love” feeling. You can literally have five women you’re talking to but if that one you really like is not talking to you, you might as well be a lonely omega.
For the most part, I’ve avoided this problem but I think just telling us “she’s a slut” is not constructive in that I cannot simply turn off like a woman can when she’s no longer feeling it. Well, at least when the girl does NOT have a boyfriend already lol Someone else has to come get me down off the emotional ledge, though, to break the spell. And that someone has to be another woman and her genitals.
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can you give us an example text of he could’ve kept the door open?
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The window is still open. He just needs to ice her for a couple of weeks. She’ll likely hit him up in a couple of weeks when she’s ovulating.
If she doesn’t, a simple, “What are you doing?” will open her back up.
Far too many times windows have seemed closed. But when you have game, you naturally shrug your shoulders. “Oh well.”
Then, a month or two later, the girl I thought I’d never bang again is hitting me up.
Women are emotional creatures. A lot of times a man just needs to wait in silence for her to calm down.
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Finally, some info I can use. I detailed my own problem in the prequel thread to this and besides being clowned and called a simpering beta, which I appreciate (no really) I didn’t get specific advice. If a girl is into you, they just don’t cut that tie. The “three vigorous bang” rule applies in my case, most definitely. I suppose I just need to wait it out.
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“Women are emotional creatures. A lot of times a man just needs to wait in silence for her to calm down.”
This.
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for real. so many times i thought i’ had blown myself out. But by cooling it and falling off the radar for a bit, i’ve often times been able to re-open and at least run better game.
Also never acknowledge being burned by a lady either, thats usually the kiss of death. Then they know their actions have power over you. Usually the times i’ve gotten permanent silence is when i’ve acted even remotely butthurt. Its just game over from there, very hard to recover from.
Never acknowledge disrespect, flakes, anything sub-par about her actions and you will have room to work.
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Butthurt you should not be. Faintly dismissive and letting it go? Much better and offers the option of keeping something with her possibly ongoing.
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I agree and disagree. I’ve slept with girls and then we continued sleeping together for weeks, and then randomly she starts acting weird, so I back the fuck off because at this point I could care less about playing her games. Girl reopens me weeks later, I fuck her again etc. etc.
Then a hard cold lesson I learned was having slept with a girl whom I had truly had interest in, so I pulled beta provider game when I realized she thought she had become a simple booty call to me. I realize in hindsight this was the wrong route, because I assume she saw me as a beta, and now I don’t speak to her at all, this was almost six months ago.
What I’m saying is, granted you were somewhat alpha, I would say it’s ALWAYS salvageable even if the vibe feels completely dead, but if you start acting beta too much towards the end, I have a feeling that she’ll forget about you and quickly replace you with someone more alpha whilst looking at you as a “could have been.” When you stop speaking to her and your frame was always alpha, she’ll still look at you as “what could be.”
At least, that’s been my experience in the game so far.
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You’ve got it dead on as far as the end result. Last week, about an hour after a round with this girl, she sends me a text message, “You know there’s more to this Brazilian girl than hot sex”.
Before this, she had hinted here and there that she wanted more than booty call. I ignored her text message like I ignored her hints. Last night, 6 days later, she texts me and asks if I was busy. Texted her back that I was and for her to come by tonight after she gets out of work. Fixed.
The whole point is that if you fall into their shit test traps, even a little, you’re asking for what happened to that guy.
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How did you act beta at the end. I understand it was to counteract some of the distance and make her feel more comfort but in what ways do you think you were beta. Was it in the action or communication?
I have had times where I backed off and had them re-open. What I have learned is that being too earnest in trying to close some kind of perceived gap just widens it. I have not run “earnest interest” game and had it redound to my benefit when it was in response to a developing flakiness/distance.
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call laughing not to get her back into bed but just really cause the bitch is funny. Then say allright hitting the stripclub click
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since she was looking for that emotional connection:
him- “it’s cool, i won’t tell”
her- “well it ain’t happuhnin suckaaaaa!!!”
him- “no sweat, it was fun, look me up if you want the 3peat”
her- gawrsh, he’s sweet and rocked my world, i will look him up to have sex with him in the near future
BOOM
whatever the response, don’t do it when angry, lonely, or horny. go jack off, work out, or go to bed.
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Exactly. Feel it out. Play it cool. I think text game is the hardest part of pickup/game. This is what I’m focused on at the moment. Any advice from the pros I will head at this point.
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now i just get ho’s though i can’t handle another false pregnancy or a real one he he he
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That’s what abortions are for…
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And a Vascectomy. It’s the perfect secret when you get called to be on the Maury Show.
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I’d just go silent after her 2nd reply. Then follow up a few days later like it never happened.
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Second this. The only thing better than the one-word text is the no text.
Guys have to get it into their heads that every extra word dilutes her attraction to you by at least 20 percent. Don’t be funny in texts. Don’t try to create a connection in texts. Keep it to one word or less (unless it’s “bring da movies” or “ur pussy rox”, which is extra points).
Here is the correct frame for texting chicks: You’re in your bed with three hot chicks. How much time and effort would you expend on a chick who’s not currently in that bed? Be as brief as possible and let her hamster do your work.
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I agree with this. I don’t text message women and I don’t use Facebook. I’m 21. That alone sets me apart from most men. When I call, I always get an answer. Bugs me when people say things like text game or IM game and shit. Game thats well documented is from the 90s so don’t throw a wrench into the formula by using new technology, phone works well.
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Texting came about after I was done dating, but I agree with you. I have trouble even understanding it, let alone actually trying to use it myself. Texting does seem a little effeminate to me. I liked it when you couldn’t even get in touch with a man for days. That generated a sense of mystery.
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The door is opened. That outreach of shared experience may be a crack in the IHAB and therefore I want you to stop pursuing. giving it the old greater-beta try:
Can a direct approach work? “We do have great chemistry” then a boyfriend destroyer (if you know one) or “he must mean a lot to you to go back after what we had you guys are going to last.”
Or instead, “most girls would know it’s over by now.”
But I think what this guy had happened is he fell into the guy trap of continuing a text conversation without a reply, no reply means silence is golden. leave it hanging after one response to “nvm” like “cu”
But I bet the winner will be:
8====>
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and you make have fucked like a madman or whatever but never underestimate hot chicks affinity for drugs they need em to get through life a pretty chick takes a lot of shit from everyone just because there are so few of them they get it good too but a lot of hatin he he he
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This^^^. And you know I got a number from a blond 9 today but she is underaged. I may call her in two years she’ll be 18 lol.
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use the fake text to another girl – e.g.
“sry. not home. come get your clothes tomorrow”
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(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Best response = no response, re open in 2 weeks
But i also like the classics….about 3 hours later you might try
“i understand” or “ok” or “and”
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And which of the presumed many authors of CH can turn a phrase like “testicular essence?” Tanquam ex ungue leonem.
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I’ll go out on a limb & state that the reader in question had not connected enough with her emotions(Poon Commandment #9), nor did he make a strong enough impression of value & excitement in the initial 3 bangs, else the first IHAB shit-text wouldn’t have been volleyed.
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If you have to deal with that kind of shit test in the first place, it’s too late.
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True but when you do…
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You’re correct about there being no emotional connection. The night of the pick up I spoke directly to her only once, at the beginning of the night. It was some crack about how me putting my arm around her meant nothing, just that my arm was getting squished being crammed into the backseat of the car.
The only value I displayed was whatever she saw me do at the bars/clubs and the pregame. The 3 bangs were just 1-2, wake her up 3, no conversation.
In that context, the texts that lead up to this, and the ones on display, make me look like I didn’t care about a single thing except sex. Which, despite being true, is anti-seductive and ugly? I assumed I was irresistible and she would be clamoring for another round with me. I’m not familiar with the signs of buyer’s remorse / anti-slut defense.
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I don’t build much comfort either. Here’s how I understand it, it was not the emotional connection the woman wanted. Instead she was upset you didn’t want to be her secret orgasm guy. You were fucking up her keep a beta boyfriend and fuck an alpha guy plan. Instead, when she said that’s not happening again, you need to tell her something like ‘no one will know[that we’re having sex]’. The frame you need to play it as, you are a Sexaul opportunity for her and you’ll keep her secret. Girl falls in love eventually anyways.
Lol heartiste please read my post and say I’m awesome.
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I would have replied to the first text with “If you didn’t like me better, we wouldn’t have done it three times”.
THEN silence for the rest of the week, or until she shows up at your door wearing nothing under a trenchcoat.
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Too many words. Doesn’t create any kind of tingle and opens you up to a reply like, “Doesn’t matter, it was a mistake./wasn’t that good./”
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Why didn’t he just stop at, ” Didn’t stop you from goin there three times.” Then call or text her later in the week to meet up. He has her right here.
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Wow, just read this article. Maybe some smart Betas are going to finally solve the problem of getting girls to love them.
http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/the-heart-beat-blog-post?post=71cbc378-6d27-4219-a464-df8e7645289a
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http://www.utdallas.edu/~aargyros/the_chaser.htm
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nice
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Not only “no”, but fucking HELL NO!
I wouldn’t have used that shit for the harridan’s I’ve been married to. BPD’s would make things worse with that shit, with either party taking it.
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Her: Didn’t stop you from going there three times.
His response: You’re a sexy girl.
Let her say something after that. If she is nice, he should then say, “Listen I’m kind of busy right now, but do you want me to call you later?”
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lol…no.
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“If she’s nice?” Seriously?
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Why not? She’s the one who should be sheepish here, not him. I think I might tell her to call me, instead of offering to call her. Also, I wouldn’t get bogged down in any long conversations about whether she’s a slut or not. She is, and you both know it. There’s no need to keep talking about it.
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the asking part is a bit weak. ‘busy right now but i’ll call u later’ is better. the guy is simply going to do what he wants, rather than leaving it up to the girl to decide if she thinks it’s okay for him to call her. why put the ball in her court?
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have you been recruited by susan walsh?
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Can’t really add onto D&Ps.
Radio silence, radio silence, radio silence. Anytime you fuck up, radio silence.
If there is anything left in the tank, it’s not over yet.
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i would of replied,.. . after a day or so,… ” yea, you probably should.” — ( now that reply could be taken either way ),… but the truth is,.. its time to move on with this one.
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Flawless breakdown. The open window ninja analogy is dead-on and you narrowed down the exact point where he fumbled.
The reason he was even in this situation in the first place was that his after-fuck game was weak. He got the lay, and that’s great, but to get a girl to repeat you have to make sure you aren’t triggering her Anti-Slut Defense and Buyer’s Remorse which can be tricky at first cause most new guys get tunnel vision for the lay.
This is why a lot of naturals have high lay numbers but don’t get repeat business. Their game goes to the bang and then stops and they do shit like instantly go cold on the girl, kick her out of their apartment right after the lay, reveal that they were lying about not being a celebrity, act disinterested in her the next time they see her cause they’re hunting for their next lay, etc. and the girl gets Remorse and often she’ll actively hate him for a while.
Biggest mistake guys make is they fuck a chick and then go “okay how do I make this girl a fuckbuddy?”
The proper approach is to be setting the fuckbuddy frame from the start, way before the lay. That includes stuff like snuffing out the BF-cheating guilt early on instead of waiting till it’s in your face when you’re trying to get the 2nd lay.
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“The proper approach is to be setting the fuckbuddy frame from the start, way before the lay.”
Could you elaborate?
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It means know who you are and what you’re looking for when you first leave your house. Then behave accordingly. If you’re flexible, then have a plan for any case.
If you are sure all you want from a girl is sex, then keep that clear from the beginning. Sell yourself based on how great an experience it’s going to be without implying anything emotional.
If you think you might want more from her, give yourself some wiggle room to explore, but at the same time be able to make a quick exit if you need to. Don’t start out emotional and then switch to dick on a stick all of a sudden, because that produces feelings of regret rather than having her go away with a good feeling and maybe promoting you to other women.
Be consistent.
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Shit lol I can’t believe I’m saying this to a woman in a pickup blog but ya, your whole comment nailed it exactly.
To explain further in man-terms:
She should know from the start that you’re just an “adventure”. You don’t “count”. Fucking you isn’t cheating because she knows you’re not boyfriend material at all so she can write you off the way she writes off the cabana boy she fucked in Mexico. This is true in general if you want to avoid a lot of drama from girls, but this is ESPECIALLY true with girls who have significant others.
If this guy had set the frame from the start that this was going to be a fun adventure, disqualifying himself from counting as cheating, making sure she felt no guilt at all about cheating on her BF, making sure after they fucked that her emotions were in check about it and that she had no regret, etc. he would never have ended up in this situation and she’d be looking forward to their next bang. (you’ll notice there’s a little bit of Secret Society (Tyler Durden, google it) concept in this if you’ve been paying attention, about judgement and good feelings and the difference between being in or out of the Society)
The fact that she’s shit-testing him out of guilt is exactly what tells me that he fucked up along the way. Maybe he kicked her out too quick after they fucked. Maybe he dropped a comment that made her feel just a little too slutty or like he was judging her as easy/slutty. Maybe he talked about her BF too much instead of just ignoring that she had one at all. There’s a ton of places he could’ve dropped the ball, but her response indicates that he did drop it at some point. If he did a thorough honest self-aware Field Report I could nail down the exact point it happened, but even if he just thinks back himself and runs through the entire experience from start to finish he could probably figure out where the key fuckups were.
Like Nicole says “starting out emotional and switching to dick on a stick all of a sudden produces feelings of regret rather than having her go away with a good feeling and maybe promoting you to other women”. Dead on. If you were never emotional to begin with and were congruent from the start with being a dick on a stick, you’d get the latter response because she was never deceived.
In this guy’s situation, maybe he WAS a complete congruent asshole from the start but that’s usually not the case and if it WAS the case then that just makes it easier to analyze because that narrows down the fuckup to post-lay (the time between finishing the fuck and both still being sweaty in bed, and this txt exchange).
The scariest thing for a woman is that when she fucks you, you’ll turn out to be someone different than she thought and she’ll feel tricked. This is why congruency gets so much attraction, even if you’re congruent to something horrible…she knows the you she’s seeing is the real you. This is also why Naturals who use “I love you baby” game where they just lie to the girl to get in her pants and then go cold on her as soon as they’ve got the notch on their belt, get a lot of girls who hate them because they have Buyer’s Remorse from the dupe.
If you want to extrapolate this concept to its extreme, what does setting the fuckbuddy frame from the second you say “Hi” say about you? It says you’re a man who knows himself, inside and out, knows exactly what you want out of life (even if it’s just at this moment, with this person), and that you unapologetically go for exactly what you want. That implies that you have a lot of experience with women because you’ve learned what place they hold in your life, and it implies you have a lot of experience as a man because you know yourself so well.
A bumbling AFC who tries to buy flowers to get in a girl’s pants and tries to approach without getting rejected doesn’t know WTF he actually wants, and doesn’t know how to get it, because he’s never gotten it, because he doesn’t even know what it is he’s trying to get.
I can get into specifics on how to manage the Buyer’s Remorse before it happens, but that’ll be a long-ass comment lol
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Thanks both.
“I can get into specifics on how to manage the Buyer’s Remorse before it happens, but that’ll be a long-ass comment lol”
Please, whenever you got the time. I enjoy reading your posts and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
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I make it a point to carefully read all of Ya Really’s posts.
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Ya Really,
I dug this post. You probably should get into them specifics, because I’m interested. I think my recent situation, where I ran into the girl I’d been seeing with another man wasn’t so much about me looking any kind of way but perhaps about me saying later in text that “it’s ok, this is non-exclusive.” Since women don’t have to be rational or consistent, even though she was on another date, she seems to have withdrawn because (maybe) I went from looking like a long-term prospect to referring to it explicitly as non-exclusive. That may have been incongruent since I allowed ‘relationship vibe’ to proceed to some degree (and didn’t mind.)
Now that I’m in silence, I don’t think she’s going to re-initiate with me honestly, so I wanted to try something to get her to open back up. In the case of the opposite of this IHABF situation, might it be better to run a little comfort to get her to open back up? (whereas this guy seems like he’s blown out because of being overly sexual) That she was not just one of many girls I was banging but that I actually valued her time? Drop some vague future plans, avoid sex (well that’s a given, I think here.)
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You know, the naturals I know who’ve banged wives, engaged chicks, and gf’s and got repeat performances is because they pushed away. We shouldn’t be doing this. So, I wonder what happened before ““IHABF we are not doing that again text”? I think there are two chicks:
1. Chicks with real IHAB status, sluts, but they aren’t ready to ditch the guy and any neediness on your part is a potential downer for her relationship. If she is IHAB and is thinking of jumping ship, she won’t IHAB you, you’ll get a call saying “don’t be mad, but IHAB and I just dumped him so we can date.”
2. Chicks that IHAB to get you to GTFOH. Different problem, same solution, any grasping or attempts at rapport after the fact will make problem worse.
So, maybe a better reply to IHAB is to take into account she wants you gone and not be needy bitch boy.
“shit you got caught?” (maybe too much concern but door open because it shows you don’t care too much)
“DIAF” (maybe too butthurt and stalkerish)
“winner” (right amount of scorn?)
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This is a really great post, YaReally. I’d love to read anythiing more you write.
I think that’s basically true. If you’re going for secret society lays, then do what you suggested.
I’m more of a harem builder, so my answer was targeted for that. It’s my nature to prefer longer relationships.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Then-
Me: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin my inner stallion awoken my bad
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Yep. Starting with his first reply. I wouldn’t call it a -1, though…more like a -100…
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not really still Alpha/Asshole. the best you can do once you’ve dropped that “that stubble hurt” stinkbomb is to compliment her – that she’s inspired your passion – yet without seeming so tryhard for sex. hence she’s awoken your whatever – depending on what manner of witty repartee you shared
for congruence’s sake, “well i wasn’t plannin…my bad” gently teases her bitchy nonsense reply, “inner stallion” is as ludicrous/self-amusing as it comes, and yet you still manage to give her credit/compliment.
paraphrasing from below, “well I wasn’t plannin on having an amazing connection my bad” might be just as good. personally, i just feel like mentioning a “connection” feels too gay.
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Agree on -1. What’s required in this situation is to coax the hamster on the wheel while you’re spinning it. Keep it simple.
Me: ok no worries
This tells her that (1) you’re not concerned, that she shouldn’t be either; (2)the door is open if she changes her mind; and (3) that you will be doing whatever you need to be doing without her.
2-3 weeks later text her “hey wanna grab a drink” and go from there. If you want, talk about girls, ask her for advice. Friend zone her. That’ll keep her hamster spinning furiously and allow you to develop new opportunities with her as your inadvertent wingwoman.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Me: Got me. You’re right though we should probably just be friends. Let’s grab a drink next week. I’ll text you.
Pretend to friend zone her so she can rationalize meeting for a friendly drink, then turn on your game in person when she can’t resist. Wait for her to text you for drinks and pretend you forgot you said it when she does.
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I like friend-zoning her. Although I’d keep it a bit vaguer than actually telling her that.
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In my experience, the “we should probably just be friends” line is good to start the hamster spinning (or keep it spinning). Depending on her response, you can probably re-game her into further bangs, as long as you don’t focus on the bang part. Basically, she wants to feel *some* investment from you to ease her guilt (bf and/or ASD). Throw her a small piece of beta bait and wait for the re-initiation on her part. All alpha is just way to much for repeat business. Again, just my experience.
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Great disqualification.
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“we should probably just be friends”.
This and my suggestion: “hey, good luck” from another post here would be ideal in flipping the switch. This would get her thinking “Doesn’t he want me?”
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(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
He accepted her paradigm, and blew it. He should have taken charge of the conversation and sent a sensation and emotion filled text, putting her right back into the moment she was fucking HIM, with something like::
Him: I like the way your legs quiver when you cum
Then be still. Let her think about it.
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Her: my bad
You: no, you were GOOD
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Step1: Next Tuesday, send her a picture of a porcupine (or a beaver) with the caption “Shaven is better”
Assuming any kind of response-
Step2: Set up an appointment to meet with her on Wednesday, telling her “Just have to make sure you followed through”
Step3: Maneuver to re-bang.
Final analysis: Don’t spend a bunch of time trying to fuck one broad, taken or single. Harems aren’t built in a day.
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As soon as she said “IHAB, we are not doing this again.”
He should have gone straight redirect. With a simple response to her IHAB blah blah.
His text should have been:
“can we talk about something else? Did you see that crazy shit on the news about that black dude mugging that pregnant mom….crazy.”
Change the subject and give her time to rationalize her behavior and do not talk about the boyfriend. SO obvious.
Then when she brings back the IHAB issue again… same something stupid like.
“Pizza Hut pizza is so damn good. When am i seeing you again?”
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Are you talking about this story?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2094820/Teenage-muggers-jailed-attack-mother-judge-reads-heartbreaking-witness-letter-victims-daughter-five.html
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-1000. Pathetic responses. Black dude mugging pregnant mom = you trying to bring her down more? And have her think about men being rapists?
horrible dude.
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(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
[Pull} Of course – I tend to do that with girls i like
[Push} complete radio silence
Hold silence for a week, no matter what she says or does, don’t respond. If she makes earnest effort to make up for her BS during the freeze out:
[Pull} re-initiate contact at some point in future as if nothing happened.
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Its not even game at this point, IMO. After “didn’t stop you etc” I would have massaged her ego a bit then done a take away. Example:
Hb: didn’t stop you from going there 3 times.
C: 😉
C: alright, won’t be a homewrecker this time.
She’s not going to respond poorly, no matter what. Then, hit her up in a week. She’ll think you’ve been thinking about her and after some brief rekindling game, she’ll hop back on. Bam.
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1) call her
2) dress your “this is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt and say stuff like:
“women are repressed, but their sexuality is strong as man´s, so unfair”
“if a man cheats, he´s the Alpha. If a girl does it, she a bitch, it´s ridiculous!”
Acknowledged and accept (not much overtly). Show some empathy with the whore. And she will keep being what you want her to be: a whore.
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It’s complicated? Damn! I never was really that good at exams….
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After the first one I would have just said “OK?”. Then something about how beautiful (nice or whatever adjective) it all was; did she feel the same way? Then feel it out as far as how long to wait or not for another hookup.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) him: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
a week later…. him: so?
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“(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
Me: Surprised we didn’t do four. Slightly hungover yesterday.
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Or as Ace Ventura would say:
“sry, was tired”
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Either one of these would be good.
Another option: “I see where you’re going with this”
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“text me when you break up”
The overt message is “I want to see you again”
The covert message is “I don’t care”
Women assume all overt communications are lies or half truths, because they themselves are liars and this is how they communicate. Mixed messages enable them to paint you in the light that best fits their fragile ego.
If she loves her boyfriend and doesn’t want to lose him, she’ll paint you as a player and herself as a victim who made a mistake.
If she’s getting sick of her boyfriend she’ll paint you as an upgrade and won’t have much trouble rationalizing her hypergamy.
If she doesn’t have a boyfriend and is lying, then it’s just a shit test and you’ve passed.
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Reblogged this on Blyad and commented:
Gold standard in TXT analyses
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Holy fuck, this is the land of overcompensating betas trying to parrot out tough guy alpha lines. If you have the right frame not everything has to be “F you, I’m out to a strip club.” Every comment is someone trying to outdo each other on how much they want to text back to the girl she should fuck off. Wrong answer.
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
This is clearly her being insecure along with her wanting validation that it “just happened” to make her feel less guilty. If you want to tag again, feed the rationalization hamster, don’t slap it off its wheel.
(60 mins later)Me: youre waxing before 4
You nuked from orbit any plausible rationalization of a guilt free fuck. Basically you activated her ASF with a dropkick. Feed the hamster: Anything like “Damn, can’t believe I got so caught up” If there is a personal thing you remember about why it was so hot, drop it at this moment. I like to even say, “we have to be good boys and girls next time.” You’re feeding that it was a thing nobody had control over, and you both will try to resist the urge next time. She knows it’s bullshit, you do to, but try forbidding a girl from doing something and see how fast she goes back into your pants.
This part should be set to the background of North Korean missile launch. Flameout.
(3 mins)Her: What do you think is going to happen?
(0 mins)Her: Nvm you and I are not fucking
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The only thing I would definitely change is “cool”. Everything else was a gamble that may or may not have worked. “Cool” is something Michael Cera would say after every girl in school turns him down for prom. It means “I wasn’t expecting your response and now I’m hiding my demolished pride”. Few words are as uncool as “cool”, particularly through text where you do not have the benefit of alpha body language or a carefree smirk.
That being said, he fucked her already. Why have any regrets?
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Her: “Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
Me: “Guilty as charged”
Her: “And we’re not fucking again blablabla”
Me: “ok”
She’d be dripping wet and would beg for my cock until the day I die.
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Best response so far. Forget all the bullshit hoops. Just be blunt, some girls call this brutal honesty, and indifferent.
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I like “Guilty as charged.” It’s indifferent, cocky and moves things in the right direction.
But Heartiste’s reply to the “we’re not fucking again” (-“right”) is perfect. It’s the best hamster bait.
From what I have read here, too many guys don’t know when to make a woman feel good. They reach for the neg too much. My instinct, especially given that she feels like a slut, is to make her feel good emotions.
Her: “Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
Me: “You were irresistible”
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Agree — too many guys here are too quick to go negative because she’s flaking and shit-testing.
The better strategy is making her feel good that you enjoyed fucking her and wouldn’t mind doing it again.
But you’re not offering commitment, exclusivity, or asking her to dump her BF (assuming he exists). As long as she’s amusing and available, you’ll continue to come sniffing around for some pussy.
So give her incentives to be amusing and available.
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Her: “Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
GBFM: “that’s cuz u likes my lotsa cockas lolzlolzlozlolzzzzz”
Her: “Giggle”.
Haters: Don’t try this at home – The GBFM is a legend.
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this guy is a slight step above the “sriously tho, your pussy rocks!” guy.
the problem is that you made her feel like a slut multiple times, rather than making her not feel responsible for her actions.
the stubble comment reeked of butthurt attention-seeking desperation. maybe not to the avg guy, but girls smell this kind of obvious sub-communication a mile away
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Harsh but true. This sounds like something I may do often.
What’s the line between “this will get her to respond” or “good game” and attention seeking? One is indirect and the meaning is created by her, the other is direct with the intentions obvious / directly stated? One gets a response right away whether it’s good or bad, the other works in the long run?
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girls respond to tight game. period. you dont need to overanalyze this stuff. game is about exhibiting desirable traits (strength, confidence, intelligence etc) in as natural a fashion as possible. you can get favorable responses any number of ways: humor, wit, sarcasm, non-sequiturs, insults, compliments etc. you can literally say anything w favorable results if your frame is solid. its *how* you say them that matters. communication is 5-15% verbal. the rest is body lang and intonation. prob w text is that its tough to express the other 85-95% in that medium. hence the best responses being short, pithy and unaffected: it makes the hamster do the work for you.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
The best response at this point is no response. Second to that I’d go with:
(3 hours later) Me: sure
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yeah. I like “Okay!” too.
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“Okay!”
Too much enthusiasm with the punctuation and also too much effort on the capitalization of the O. Okay is too close to agreement, whereas just “sure” leaves her feeling like her comment was too try hard.
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“Okay!” makes no sense. kind of the point.
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This should be fun. Looks to me like a classic case of overplaying your hand or worse yet going along with a cookie cutter PUA response and continuing to use it in the wrong context.That aside.
“Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
Anti-slut defense was triggered for her to drop the IHABF text in the first place so somewhere along the lines he fucked up. His reply, good, for more than a few reasons. Ignores the bullshit, throws in a neg etc.
Shes on the defensive with the her first reply, wouldn’t respond to it.
Second reply shows her insecurity and essentially flailing to regain some control. Emotional connection, trying to put you on the defensive, anything really.
The maneuver, slightly give back some hand. Maybe, MAYBE use the following line: “I couldn’t stop.”
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This sounds weird….but what if he texted her some…
a) Random Cuteness (maybe a picture of a little baby porcupine?)
b) Some type of genuine comment, or even an apology?
But here’s the deal….if he does this, I think he would get to fuck her again. BUT, she’s going to get emotionally attached.
And that’s not cool to do to her…..
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Or better yet…
Baby Porcupine random cuteness….
She then replies…
Then hard core Alpha Smart Ass Funny Comment (have a list ready on hand for any possible shit test, or comment she could make)
Then you would emotionally connect with her, and still maintain the upper hand.
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105×9551325
How could anyone say no to this?? 😉
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Good analysis, CH. My comments below:
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
ok response. cocky/funny, light neg.
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
text book ASD and self-assuaged notion to relieve herself of responsibility
unsure if the reader purposely ignored, but this plays to his advantage
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
self qualification and shit test. as CH mentions, this is her dangling the carrot for another opportunity. at this point, his best response would be NO RESPONSE followed by 2 to 3 days of silence.
IMO, this is the best method for another lay opportunity:
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(3 days later) Ripp: “stop thinking about me and get back to work”
-end-
The point at which she sent the initial IHABF TXT her rationalization & ASD hamster is sprinting in full force. She’s yearning for a response to satisfy her feelings by raising her value. Trying to tell the guy: “I’m a hot piece of ass and this wasn’t my fault, and it’s not going to happen again.” She wants him to confirm this; then lower his value by him trying to maneuver around her frame. Best response is [NO RESPONSE]. By not responding for at least 2 to 3 days you communicate: “I don’t give a shit. In fact I care so little I’m not even concerned with whatever happened.” This will drive her hamster to launch into orbit. This also tests her emotions. If given silence she may reopen with another TXT for another attempt to illicit a response. Then you know there is some emotionally investment.
Further after you send the cocky/funny “stop thinking about me and get back to work” 3 days later, she might respond right away with the same type of ASD frame. In which case, you ignore, again.
She also may swing back into TXT orbit and respond playfully. In which case you keep her at a low rotation TXT orbit for the next few weeks and NEVER acknowledge you even had sex with her. This peculiarity will intrigue her. She’ll have no validation of really anything that happened between you two. And she’ll have to commit to a meet to get any. Keeps you in control.
Mid-level seduction artists often overlook the power of calculated silence in TXT game. If there is one thing women stew over it’s [NO RESPONSE]. Because every BETA shit head responds to her every TXT.
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I’ve been in this situation, both with someone who has a husband and from a girl who felt “bad” afterwards.
I banged them both afterwards. In the first case, it took longer and a long freeze out.
In the second case, it meant acting “hurt” that she was accusing me of being a player. “typical, I thought you were different”
That got her qualifying herself and after some back and forth about how badly she had treated me, she came to visit and banged me.
In this case, here’s my suggestion:(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
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Specifically, what would you have said?
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Though I probably wouldn’t have used the stubble line, I’ll inject myself into the conversation from there, since it’s clear he still had a chance after that. My version:
Me: I hope not. That stubble hurt
Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Me: You’re right. Sometimes I get a bit too passionate when I feel I have a connection with someone
Yeah, it’s definitely employing the vulnerability side of game, and could be considered beta IF the lay hadn’t already happened. But because it did, he can hold his cocky-funny fire for the time being, especially with a girl experiencing buyer’s remorse and obviously in need of some rapport. Also, this line uses two chick crack words (“passionate”, “connection”) and tosses in a subtle neg (agreeing that going down on a girl with stubble is getting “too” passionate).
From there, she would probably probe more. I would be sure not to reveal too much– to not show my hand entirely– but maintain the frame that we indeed have a connection. It’s something she’d likely want to explore again soon.
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“I don’t remember you complaining”
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It seems obvious now that this girl was deep into anti-slut defensive territory, and fearful of her reputation.
Beware. Girls WILL dial 911 to fix their reputation, if need be. “He raaaaped me…”
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In this case, here’s my suggestion:(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Wait one day.
Reply: hey, good luck
I did that. It instills dread. Gets the girl qualifying herself and thinking of a bunch of reasons why you should still be in contact even though you’re bad.
The idea here is she feels bad, but she’s into bad boys otherwise she wouldn’t have done this.
She needs time.
Any reply I got from the “Hey, good luck” that was remotely qualifying i’d reply with:
“Ok. drinks, tuesday 8pm at xxxx”
If she was keen she’d reply. If not, I’d still have hand.
The way the poster did it, he over-did the cocky-funny—a very common mistake for game newbies.
I doesn’t work when a girl feels guilty or bad.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
(3 hours later) Me: “I don’t remember hearing any complaints”
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: perv
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There are only three acceptable responses to this.
1) Are you happy?
This will get the hamster spinning. In a situation like this you wanna confuse her cause confusion can easily resolve itself in gina tingles.
2) I have a girlfriend.
Let her think she’s not the only one. Again, confusion, hamster spinning, gina tingles.
And the ever classic, and always applicable.
3) Bring the movies.
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“Are you happy?” -one of the few emotionally intelligent responses on this whole comment thread. The rest are just variations on a theme.
“I have a girlfriend.” Pretty good. Probably not the wisest thing to use in sequence with the first one.
“Bring the movies.” Classic, enough said.
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The I have a GF is a little too obviously you qualifying yourself to her. It would be better to reveal you have a GF in the course of something else.
Her: We’re not fucking
You: I can’t tonight. Meeting Jen at xxx.
Her: Who is Jen?
Back in the game. Don’t reply till next day.
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OT
http://www.wnd.com/2012/05/100-blacks-beat-white-couple-media-buries-attack/
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“oh”
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In the vein of the recent liar’s progression post, I would argue that “you’re waxing before 4″ was simply too much of a challenge. Before that text, our guy just agreed and amplified. ‘You’re waxing before 4” outright challenges any delusions she has about not shaving and the frame where they are not having sex again (contradicting his last text). A better option would be to simply not challenge any of her petty lies / delusions…and focus on the element of conspiracy or agreeing and amplifying.
The latter option, at least, is enjoyable, whereas the former is fraught with awkward calculation. That in itself should be a guiding principle.
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-Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
-Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
-itl be our secret
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He overgamed.
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Key Response: Yeah, something came over me
Her (most likely reponse): Like what?
You: Idk, i’ve only done that with one other girl
There is a time when you must start applying comfort, it’s not all C+F. Draw her out with an ambiguous comment that reveals she is special. She will almost certainly take the bait. That is your opportunity to start cementing the bond.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
(2 hours later)Me: bring the movies
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Way too much chit-chat and not enough leading. Logic and discussion never work in these situations. If the guy wanted another interaction with her, he should have went right to setting up the next meeting.
Her: I have a boyfriend, we are not doing that again…
Him: I’m going to X bar tomorrow night (or the mall, whatever). You should meet me there.
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Him: It will be fun to talk and hang out.
Her: Fine. But, just for a little while.
Him: See you then.
He can probably still “save” it with the approach above as well. He just got distracted by the test and was thrown off his game. Lead again, set up a meeting, re-spark the attraction in person, handle the logistics…and all will be back on course.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
Me: 2 hours later: “Very busy right now. Let’s talk over a bottle of wine. Friday eve, my place.”
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after reading the replies,..and much thought… the correct answer is to answer with…. ” right’ and actually do it immediately. and nothing more…………and you go on with life.
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One of the best replies I’ve read
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i would simply have ignored her ‘ihabf’ text.
but, if she continued texting:
her: well i wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
her: didn’t stop you from goin there three times
her asd is straining at this point. girls don’t like to be held responsible for their actions, so i would reframe like it wasn’t her fault:
me: we have great chemistry
a cocky alternative:
me: im an animal
but in the end, a cheating slut is a cheating slut. the guy already banged her. NEXTing is always an option. one down, millions more to go.
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“but in the end, a cheating slut is a cheating slut. the guy already banged her. NEXTing is always an option. one down, millions more to go.”
Why throw away the biological prime directive based on a females questionable character and only one bang under the belt. The mindset should be there is no NEXTing, just regulated to a lower rung on the tier, and spin plates at a leisurely pace. A legitimate NEXTing based on what we know comes off like a weak walkaway on a situation with relativley easy recovery because as you can see, the guy in question was never out of play until he put himself there.
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Frankly, a girl with a boyfriend is a liability that can cause you trouble. She should have to chase and qualify herself to compensate. I don’t care if I lose her – my peace of mind is paramount.
I’d reply with, “Oh, whoah. Did he find out?”
Followed by, “He’s not the crazy stalker type, is he? I’ve had bad experiences.”
At this point, she’s gotta defend her boyfriend as weak and get aggressive with you to overcome the disqualifier. And you’ve signaled preselection, non-neediness and abundance.
You can resume things with “We can hang out, nothing more, keep it on the d/l” type frame. Implication being that you’re only doing this because you really like her as a friend. And make her seduce you from there, while telling her she’s “trouble”.
Once you’ve banged, to pull it away, while still in proximity… girls can’t stand that.
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THIS.
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What percentage of women that say that have a boyfriend have a relationship with a guy that actually refers to her as his “girlfriend?”. Maybe 5%? 8% tops? Someone should study this.
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um…i do. and she’s a looker too.
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It’s different when they bring it up post-bang.
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First response in the thread that I’ve liked. My only complaint is the good grammar, boil it down to “o shit lol did he find out” and “fuck i hope hes not a stalker had sum bad experiences…”
Your response ALSO saves face. If the window really did close before these texts, you’ve gotten out of your own free will, reframed her as trouble, and shown 0 supplication. It also smacks of cad, “bad experiences…” will send her into a frenzy.
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That seems like a slight overreaction to a threat he doesn’t even know exists. She might be trying to scare him or shame him.
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There isn’t a threat at all, that’s the beauty of it. The BF is already cuckolded and defanged. Koanic’s overreaction reframes the discussion, forcing the woman to explain why her boyfriend isn’t a threat (IE beta).
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I agree that reframing her as trouble is a good idea. However, you don’t want to act like you and her were in it together. She never told him she had a boyfriend. (a boyfriend isn’t a husband, to put it in perspective) She’s the one who did wrong, not him.
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Lets agree to defer to Lara. She clearly munches a lot of box.
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Yeah, we’re in the presence of a natural, here.
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Thanks.
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Redleg,
I’m not trying to be argumentative with you. I like your comments, and from what I can tell you seem to have alpha instincts.
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That is a bold reframe, right there. 7/10.
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A a girl with a boyfriend is a not a liability. It´s an advantage for me. I can inseminate her and the bf will expend his resources to raise my child. I get extra horny with taken women.This is the way my alpha male brain works.
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If your alpha male brain also understood double-entry accounting, you’d know that liabilities can simultaneously be assets.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text” (“right” would have been a great response here imo)
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
“right” / “couldn’t help myself”
I also happen to very much dig Khal Drago’s take above.
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Silence is often golden but if she is leaning out the windows whispering to you I take issue thinking not dancing with her and stopping yourself from whispering back being the best play. Just take care what leaves your lips or fingertips.
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Awful, makes me cringe. We’ve all been there, letting a less-than-optimal message slip down the text hole. “I hope not” is obvious irony, and “that stubble hurt” is a poorly timed (if clever enough) neg that intensifies the hint of desperation already delivered by the weak sarcasm of the first part. Every line after that is a descent lower and lower into the spiral of fail.
The problem is the arena. He allowed an ambush on her turf, in text, the pristine world of pure words. This is the only place where female mythology has a chance to reign (or even survive). Pity the fool who enters a battle without the clear advantage. He was defeated the minute he chose to engage. Not that the engagement couldn’t have gone better. But play the percentages and pick your spots.
If he had forced her to make this IHAB declaration to his face, he could have deconstructed her piece by piece, depending on what tonal/body-language openings she left for him. Did she say it sheepishly? Was she being coy? Was she trying to retroactively enforce her moral code over a mistake against her instinct? Were there hints of revulsion at him … or at herself? Face-to-face means far less protection for the purposes of dissembling. Texting/chatting/facebook makes a woman’s campaign of cowardly equivocation way too easy to achieve.
“You and I are not fucking.” “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves[, slut]. Who said I wanted to fuck you? And watch your language, pottymouth.” Dictate terms.
When a woman goes IHAB, she is fishing for a reason against instinct to discontinue her behavior. Otherwise she wouldn’t bother bringing it up as a topic open for discussion with a guy she cheated with. What is there to discuss if the bf-status weren’t negotiable? The appropriate response to a mistaken lapse in loyalty is to freeze the temptation out of communication and eliminate every possibility of repeat. Women don’t have to say to every man they meet, “I am not going to fuck you.” It’s implied without saying a word … unless there is some possibility.
IHAB is in itself an unintended acknowledgment of her “bad” instincts, which can be toyed with mercilessly. She is in a rear-guard action to reconcile her code to her behavior by reiterating that code to you, as if you are required to care about the dictates of her conscience. Don’t even give her a hint of compliance with that program. The wise reaction in this regard is summed up in the classic one word reply, “So?” Who cares what a woman thinks at any given moment along the emotional rollercoaster of her mind? It certainly isn’t predictive of her future behavior. It’s just a shit test off the top of her pretty little head.
Finally, boyfriends do not exist. Husbands hardly exist these days. What, is some suitor courting her? Are they “going steady”? This isn’t the 1950s. Female loyalty is a construct, and a flimsy construct at that. Promises and vows and declarations of honor are only as valid as the man who indemnifies them. What is this imaginary (so far as you’re concerned) boyfriend going to do? Challenge you to a duel? Tell you “that’s, like, way uncool, brah”? Get drunk and come with his Justin Bieber haircut to beat the shit out of you? He doesn’t exist.
What’s done is done, no use lingering on a fail. Dance through the missteps, leverage other women, dictate the terms of the next engagement, stay patient. And stop depending on the text for anything but an assist to an already solid methodology.
Matt
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Your anal-ysis nailed it (pardon the puns).
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
(10 hours later) Me: “My dog* died.”
* Substitute a family member, if necessary.
I call this “sympathy game,” and have found it’s the quickest way to de-bitch a potentially raging bitch. It switches off their bitch defenses and makes them Florence Nightingale. You can also substitute illness, as needed, just make it a good one, not the flu.
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Very good.
Very very good.
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This is interesting. I’m going to try it. Looks good on paper, but needs field testing.
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gutless. especially in the context of trying to win the affections of a fickle cheating slut. also, beware of what you project on yourself.
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(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Him: Well gosh, you’re such a wonderful girl, I just couldn’t help myself. Being with you was a privilege and I wanted to make it last. Don’t feel bad about slipping, though, and I don’t want you to lose any respect for yourself. It’s just that we have such great chemistry that it was bound to happen.
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If I’d want to take it further after his butterhanding of the situation.
A. Don’t message her at all. Cocky funny is overrated, save it for new girls. Just blank. She may not respond. Move on.
B. If she does respond with “How can you say things like that?” you must refrain from escalating or apologizing. Either don’t reply, or say “Babe……. later.”
C. If she reneges again, you have a chance, mate. Escalate when she sends somewhat upbeat texts. But when she’s either sad, or hurt….. a little beta won’t hurt.
Her – “I was looking forward to meet you, why did you say things like that??”
You – “I’m sorry babe. I was at a bar when you messaged. This russian chick was slobbering all over me. But hey….. I’m a polite guy, I can say “May I?” during your most delirious moment.”
Her – haha. you are so funny…. like i said no sex for you
You – as i said….. cum again. So to speak.
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“(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
Me: I felt a connection.
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(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times”
(6 hrs later)Him: Didn’t stop US… schmoopie.
[or whatever other obviously ridiculous pet name one prefers].
And then radio silence for a minimum of 2 days.
I think this is better than giving her a compliment about how sexy she is/was or how turned on/studly he is/was. (“couldn’t help myself”… yech!)
It puts them back in conspiratorial cahoots, and appeals to her inner ‘men and women are equals’ hamster… with a hint of anti-slut ego-salvaging in the laugh-inducing (extra bonus?) term of endearment.
Assuming of course this is what he truly wants.
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Please. Too easy.
After her second text in a row:
You: “What’s you’re name?”
Her: “What?”
You: “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU’RE NAME IS!”
Smash through her wall, laying her flat out with a chair shot to the back of the head. Pick up her lifeless body and Rock Bottom her ass into her cheap linoleum floor. Turn your head and check for the crowds approval. Throw your elbow pad into the first row and give her the People’s Elbow. Text her:
You: “NOW YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’, BITCH!”
Walk out. When she comes to, she’ll be dtf. Pussy wet to the max.
Never fails.
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Lol
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(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
(60 mins later)Me: Seriously tho! ur pussy rocks!
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Seriously tho ur pussy rocks is to be used when she’s angry. Say you killed her cat and she is livid you can say this. But not when she’s undecided of his alpha cred
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“Who is this again?”(with an optional “lost my phone/contacts”) right after initial IHABF text. Hamster starts spinning about you with other women and preselection. You can’t accomplish this with “i have a girlfriend” or some type of agree+amplify because it sounds like sour grapes 1 upping. Maintains curtness and brevity without the butthurt undertones of “cool”, “lol”, “and”, or “okay”.
I also like “whoa- did he find out?” as Koanic suggests, but that might trigger anti-slut defense.
Dead silence is also totally acceptable right after the IHAB followed by a completely unrelated and off topic text about something inane a few days later.
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“cougars vs. MILFs…ok one, two, three go!!!!!!!!!!!!! B.”
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Butt seriously…damage control in this situation is limited to 2-3 days of silence and then a “good old times” text eg
‘you watchin glee or WHAT’
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“okay” is never a bad response. I’ve been using this recently and it works. It won’t come across as butthurt if you send this single message after a 1-8 hour gap and don’t follow it up. Believe me, she’ll be sending you multiple messages after that, and that’s when you fall silent. Then send her an unrelated message after a week or two.
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“lozzool lzol lol Benrannke and the Thucker Max Butthexing thrhuogh beta tax lzol”
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IHAB text
right
whatever she texts
*long time*
dont trip. it was alright. we had fun
*few days*
wassap
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This.
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(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
>you’re right
>I’ll give you three roses [or whatever flower type, doesn’t matter]
>it’s roses, right? I’m not good with flowers lol
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After her text about doing her 3 times:
[i]”Sometimes things just happen[/i]
And then don’t respond to the following text unless it’s about meeting up. From the next day on, work on getting her out again – without mentioning sex so she has a flimsy excuse and doesn’t get ASD, then when you’re together make it “just happen” again.
Ambiguous, doesn’t address whether “the stubble” was that much of a bother or not, alleviates guilt (girls LOVE things that just happen and are fault-free!), and IMO offers the least chance of embarrassment.
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Nice response.
I’d leave her for week + afterwards.
brush her off with you being too busy to meet up if she suggests it but make here wait 1-2 days to reply to such an SMS.
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Heartsie, more seriously, I have to say you are a master. I could forsee no proper response to the two-txt step beyond silence, deleting the number, and perhaps texting again a month later.
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Perhaps you or one of your readers can clarify something for me.
In your previous post, you wanted to convey an attitude of aloof/indifference. Examples of your responses were “lol” or “gay”
But reading this, you’re saying the man should’ve established more emotional intimacy? I don’t understand. Isn’t this the reverse of what you said to do?
How can a guy know whether the correct response to any womanly misbehavior is the cool aloof guy, or sensitive romantic guy?
[heartiste: “gay” is not necessarily mutually incompatible with disarming a woman’s ASD through emotional connection. remember, the “gay” or “right” reply that i suggested is meant for the first text from the girl saying she has a boyfriend. after that, if she continued the text exchange in the way that you see in this post, then you would move on to a different tactic that was more agree and amplify and/or emotionally available.]
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Would something like, “(60 mins later)Me: who’s this again?” or “(60 mins later)Me: who says I want more?” have worked better? Or what about a “(60 mins later)Me: oh did I?”
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I would have just ignored her after (28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
She would have responded eventually.
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My Dear *Insert Name Here*
You’re right about this. We should never do this again.
Hence I promise that I will never push you against a wall. And that I will never caress your neck and whisper, softly in your ears, all the turgid lurid explicit salacious delicious things that I want to do to you.
I promise that I will not yank off your underwear … that I will not use my mouth on you down there …
And when the time is right … I will not move my attentions to your breasts … as my fingers thrust irreverently inside of you … and I promise that I will not then minister to you on the chords and cadences of that song … that wanton song … that inviting song … that dastardly song …
And I promise that I will not then bend you over, and I will not … then … take my sweet bloody time …
… thrusting into you …
We must never talk about this again.
We’re gonna stick to chit-chat over coffee.
We’re gonna be adults about this.
Which means you’re gonna pay for the coffee next time.
See you around.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: No Shit, so do I. I won’t tell if you don’t.
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IHAB text
…
…
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
(30 min later) You: Too bad, I had plans for us.
She cant possible close the door on this one. Her hamster will be dreaming up all that could be at this point, and force her to engage you as to what you had for plans.
(1 min later) Her: What kind of plans?
You: Radio Silence.
You closed the door and left her thinking that you could be better than her BF, who probably hasn’t made “plans” with her in a while. . She will be primed and ready to go in a week when you send her a text to meet up again.
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This is the point where you unfortunately have to forget everything you’ve read on “game” blogs for years about how the only way to act with women is in the “treat with casual indifference so they’ll know how Alpha I am” mode.
This is the point where you actually have to say something *nice* to the girl. Crazy talk, I know, but true.
I’m shocked by how many of the comments seem to be suggestions for different ways to treat the girl with casual disregard. At this point she’s clearly already out of the frame of mind where being disregarded makes her think “ooooh he’s so mysterious and alpha” and into the frame of mind where being disregarded makes her think “ugh, this guy is annoying”.
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Just text back “quality”….
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Heartiste, you may want to take a look at what’s going down at Jezebel:
http://jezebel.com/5906648/the-angry-underground-world-of-failed-pickup-artists
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I like how in the comments some chick is saying some guy is venturing into PUAesque behaviour with her then goes on to describe a loser acting completely beta.
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After the “…goin there three times” text:
“I love you”
Appropriate amount of radio silence following
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“Feminists expect men to give something for nothing. But chivalry comes with a cost: deference.” More on this, please 🙂
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If we women would like to return to times of chivalry, we must pay with deference.
It’s not a high cost really as 98% of us would prefer to defer in our heart of hearts anyway.
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No, I agree its not a high cost, I’m just not sure how women are supposed to show it. If I’ve read correctly, you seem pretty happily married. Feel like giving an example?
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Respect in the biggest I can give you. My husband has the final say. He is the head of the family and while we discuss all big decisions and he listens to my opinion and comes to me for facts he may not know, the final decision is his. Even if I do not agree with the decision, I back him up in it, no matter what.
There are hundreds of other things, big and small and I would be happy to discuss them, but this is the very biggest and I believe, the most important.
The second most important is that I take care of him, in every way I know how. While some women think I may be subservient (I don’t think that of you) I am not. I enjoy caring for him. More importantly, so does he, and he is grateful for it as well.
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Thank you! 🙂
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If women want to be protected, they should treat men like their protectors.
But I’ll leave the mic for KIng A and he will make all of you bitches faint with his lyrics.
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“they should treat men like their protectors”- Well, if YOU feel like answering, I’m already feeling faint 😉 What makes you feel protective of women?
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More on this is a troll response. You know what he means 😉
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Do I, Dicksickle? LOL I bet you’re a summertime favorite. You’ll have to excuse my short posts today as I am not feeling at all well, and was, inadvertently, asking for something for nothing.
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her: i have a boyfriend, we’re not doing that again
you: lolzlozlzlolzozlozlzlololz
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“Feminists expect men to give something for nothing. But chivalry comes with a cost: deference. 19 minutes ago”
Not sure if I understand your tweet but I believe women are repulsed by men who expect deference for chivalry.
[heartiste: doubt it. chivalry was the norm for euro peoples for a good stretch of time. didn’t seem to bother women that they had to defer to men. or do you need yet another reminder, you dumb troll, that women prefer to submit to men rather than the other way around?]
Nobody is going to respect a man whose only quality is that he is nice.
[chivalry can only be misconstrued as niceness when it expects nothing in return.]
Otherwise I agree with you that people shouldn’t expect anything from anyone in case they don’t want to give something in return.
[how long have you been a blockheaded spergqueen?]
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Chivalry without deference is parasitism.
The current paradigm has disposed of chivalry; everyone is supposedly equal. Everyone is NOT equal. When society stops calculating inequality in its formulas, women fall prey to cads and beta men are locked out by female hypergamy.
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Well, that is pretty profound. I prefer happy inequality over unhappy equality.
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Since men cannot reproduce without women, the discussion of equality is ultimately moot.
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I always liked the notion of courtly love. In my view, it meant you could be admired by many men for your honor, but your true love was reserved for only one man.
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I guess that ‘honor’ thing got sidetracked a bit by Guinevere… or perhaps it wasn’t really her honor that was getting all the admiration in the first place.
T&A >>> honor
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There’s always one rotten apple…
for levity:
“Wedded she was some years, and to a man
Of fifty, and such husbands are in plenty;
And yet, I think, instead of such a ONE
‘Twere better to have TWO of five and twenty…”
-Byron (Don Juan)
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Unwarranted leap of faith to imagine her the exception… and besides, the “one rotten apple” is the one that got remembered.
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dude, c’mon
dont hit on her
that pic?
it’s her daugters..
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Yes, I think women, on the whole, should stop picking apples 🙂 I remember a female professor’s lecture on Milton’s Paradise Lost in which she claimned he portrayed Eve sympathetically: that she admired Adam so much she wanted to be like him. Is feminism a misplaced compliment to mankind?
This excerpt from SparkNotes -of all places- caught my eye: “Eve overestimates the powers of her ability to protect herself and to resist temptation, and Adam underestimates the need to protect Eve and share his knowledge with her.”
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All this talk of castles, chivalric courtesies etc.
Makes me want
a flaggonne of meade
a legge of roast mutton
e’en newe codpiece for wenching
O fair ribald sheath ere grippe my penif
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Oh, good Lord, you scamp. If it means you can’t say nuttin’, eat your mutton 🙂
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I like the cut of your jibes.
dude, c’mon
dont hit on her
that pic?
it’s her daugters..
I wasn’t… and as far as the picture goes, well… I think I mentioned when she first showed up at the chateau that she should lose that smirk of entitlement… it turns a 7 into a 5.
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Post of the day. This KILLED me.
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Honor?
Here’s honor:
Get on’er & stay on’er.
Oh I know, that it’s indecent.
If it’s in long, it’s in hard, it’s in deep, then it’s in decent.
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for the 3rd time
quit copying
me
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How’s this Heartiste?
Her: IHABF we are not doing that again
ME: That’s gay. Don’t’ feel bad about enjoying your life.
Her: But my boyfriend blah blah blah
ME: I’m enjoying my life. You know my number.
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You’re correct, but in a very narrow way.
Most men aren’t worth it – by the standards of the female id. Hypergamous, designed to want the best and to naturally ditch anything less when the best is around.
But your narrow mindset is bad for your culture and civilization as a whole. Betas perpetuate society. Betas create institutions and maintain them. Betas are more likely to raise your offspring than an alpha.
So in a roundabout way, betas are WAY more worthwhile than alphas. But since we decided, 50 years ago, to listen to the female id as if it were a socio-cultural PHD, we’ve forgotten that and demonized them.
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Females: putting the id in idiocy.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
me: my bad
followed by silence
since she was searching for emotional connection/went anti slut defense full powa, it’s a way to tell her “don’t worry, it’s my fault not yours”
it also reuses verbatim something she just said (:make connection)
it is short, so it puts minimal effort on my part to write
and it’s ambiguous. am i ironic? am i serious? am i saying it with a smirk?
btw for me it’s the kind of girl that requires too much attention, i would just have gone silent and searched for easier.. pardon greener pastures
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My own opinion is avoid texting with girls. This kind of game-playing is beneath a man’s station. Seduce in person and ignore her dumb texts. Texting is for bix noods who speak 50 words of English.
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What happened to my comment? I’ll try again.
Her: IHABF we are not doing that again
ME: That’s gay. Don’t’ regret enjoying your life.
Her: But my boyfriend blah blah blah
ME: I’m enjoying my life. You know my number.
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The most effective thing a guy can ever do is to ‘do nothing’.
If anything, the guy with the problem had leverage because he fucked her. Once you’ve slept with a girl, you’re now in a position of absolute power because now it’s completely up to her to keep you around.
It’s only really ever a problem if the guy has yet to sleep with her because the girl clearly knows that she has the power and has something that he wants.
In this situation, the girl clearly knew she lost power over him and had simply attempted to game and test his insecurity by making future sex with her unavailable.
All he had to do at this point is to see her cards and raise it by testing her insecurity in return –
(Ignore her text, then text back with)…
Guy: “I wasn’t going to mention it, but the sex between us was a little weird, hasn’t really happened to me before. I usually have much better sex”
This usually makes girls go ape shit and now starts to wonder whether they’re good enough. It will literally give you enough to work with as you’ve now stolen her frame.
As long as you control the frame, they will always be in a losing position.
As a rule. The game i play is as follows.
If a girl tests you in a certain way, flip it and test her back i the same way. So if she tries to make you jealous, make her jealous back. If she dismisses you, dismiss her back, she tries to play on your insecurities, play on hers etc.
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She will want to see you again after this, just to get a validation fuck because you’ve indirectly told her that the sex between you was shit. You’ve literally pulled the rug from underneath her feet. There’s nothing she’ll be able to do at that point in order to manipulate you.
She can’t use the ‘IHBF’ card or ‘no more sex’ card on you. She can’t ignore you. She can’t do shit.
As far as she’s concerned, you’re not satisfied with her performance. The only thing that’s left for her to do is to sleep with you again for validation and to prove to you that she has what it takes. When that happens… GIVE HER THE BEST SEX OF HER LIFE AND GO CAVEMAN.
Literally blow her mind in bed. Then when you’re done. Walk out and go completely silent.
If she doesn’t go crazy on you after this, i don’t know what else will.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Me: Hahaha. Do you only think about sex?
Her: [backpeddling into some anti-slut acknowledgment of genuine non-physical interest] But i really do have a boyfriend
Me: Sounds like you have some shit to figure out. talk to you later
Then complete radio silence regardless of what she says next.
Use her natural anti-slut defense tendencies to make her verbalize interest in you. It’s unconcious, like a knee-jerk. Once she hears/sees herself express interest in you, she will start to believe it. And at that point, you make yourself scarce. She will be confused, emotionally vulnerable. “Maybe there is something there besides sex…” Hamster running. She will have a great deal of emotional anticipation for your next meeting.
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Her: Didn’t stop you from going there three times
(60 min later) Him: weird week
Her: We aint going to repeat it.
Him: I meant my whole week
Her: Why was your whole week weird?
Him: I can’t believe how cheap the chalupas are in this place!
Her: Where are you?
Him: Hey, since we’re not going to do it again, can you give me some advice about what I should say to this girl?
Her: I’m not helping you romance some girl. What girl?
Him: It’s a food truck called Coyote’s Tamales.
Her: Do whatever you want. We’re not going to have sex again.
Him: npm
Her: What does that mean?
Him: This girl says she’s not a stripper, but all her friends are. I don’t believe her.
Her: She sounds like a stupid ho.
Him: She bought me the chalupas. But they are really cheap.
Her: So you’re eating tacos with a stupid ho. Remember when you ate my taco?
(3 hours later) Him: I feel like we’re close friends now, you know?
Her: What happened with that taco slut?
Him: She sucked my cock.
Her: Bullshit.
Him: Yeah, it was bullshit.
Her: Did she or didn’t she?
(3 hours later) Him: She didn’t.
Her: I don’t want to talk about that whore anymore.
(Late next day) Him: Sup?
Her: Just got in a fight with my boyfriend. He’s such an asshole.
Him: See ya aroudn sometime. I’m actually headed back to THAT bar. Buy me a drink if you want.
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+1 on the redirect
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Feminism and chivalry are mutually exclusive.
Women cannot reap all the benefits of feminism while simultaneously reaping all the benefits of chivalry.
They can expect men to behave chivalrously. They may feel they deserve it. Yes, they may feel they are entitled to it.
I personally treat older women and young gurrrls very differently. I assume I should respect older women (age 50+ and married women with children) and treat them that way, unless they prove otherwise.
Young gurrrls – I treat them like potential thieves in a retail store.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
(90mins later) Me: I hope not. that stubble hurt
(13 mins later)Her: Well I wasn’t plannin on havin sex my bad
(28 mins later)Her: Didn’t stop you from goin there three times
Its informative about her need to be defensive but costly information to retrieve. The wrong conversation all together. The attitude should have been :
Her: “we are not doing that again text”
Him: “What?”
Her: “Fucking”
Him: “Oh that. What about it? ”
Her: “you and I are not fucking”.
Him: “Just that or is this a good bye?”
Her: “What do you think is going to happen?”
Him: “Upon reflection, I am certain I was not thinking ahead”
etc….
Sex is not on you mind and neither was she entirely. When it was, it wan’t about the sex….Women are along for the ride…Women are the ones who bring up sex while you change the subject. You don’t care about the outcome etc..
Her:
* why wasn’t the sex on his mind?
* wait, maybe he sees something deeper because he implies something else? But still..
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This is very good. If I liked him at all, I’d try to think of something I could invite him to. Maybe something I was going to already, and thought he’d enjoy.
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i call bs
you married broads
always unlock the ‘secret’ potion to Real Pussy Success
looong after you’ve let a groove grow into your finger
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Firepower… all the meat of jests and wisdom a la gbfm, with none of the fat.
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Thanks. Best compliment I’ve had all day.
I owe you a Bourbon.
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Damn, and you’re psychic as well?
I used to enjoy the better stuff, like Wild Turkey, but lately I’ve been reduced to Old Crow.
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If you want superb budget Bourbon
Ezra Brooks
It’s better than many standards.
thank me later
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It just struck me as clever. He is being nice, but it still seems like he has the upper hand. He’s also putting her in the position of having to come right out and admit she wants to see him again.
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In fact this exchange would have her thinking, “Damn,I actually like this guy. Why didn’t I play harder to get?”
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Yeah I also agree with chi-town, being genuine like that is a succesful strategy for the long run. But mindfucking her could also work, using dread. Just a simple “ok” will do or if you want to be a real cowboy you just “ignore” till her hamster spins out ala dragracing style.
Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
Personally i think she’s shit testing you to figure out how much interest you got going for her. If you give her the impression that she has you, game over. She wants you to keep being that indifferent asshole.
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Depends on how hard you need to set the hook. Introducing value anxiety probably works better for being out of your league. I believe aloof works better when just dealing with the high end of your range. Its the best move for a game you can win verse changing the game. Changing the game works when you don’t have a hand you can even play, but that does not mean you have odds. It just means another chance. A pity sex scenario would require something like sinking the whole aircraft carrier:
“I hope that this is not an awkward question, but since we are past this… I was wondering…I have not had sex a lot but is it normal to not really enjoy it?”
When the order begins to put you in an undesirable place, then one must turn to chaos.
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“Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text””
Delete her contact info and go talk to 30 new girls that day.
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Wait. Here’s my second entry:
Her: Didn’t stop you from going there three times
Him: lolzl
Her: Huh?
Him: lozllolzlolzlllozol
Her: What are you saying?
Him: ll
Her: You’re a freak.
Him: da cockas
Her: Quit texting me.
Him: lozl
Her: Quit.
Him: loz
Her: This stupid shit isn’t going to get you laid again.
Him: lozlozzl
Her: That’s not funny. Why can’t you text like a normal person?
Him: no butthex for you. lozl.
Her: We’re not having sex again at all. Are you retarded? And I wouldn’t let you stick it in my ass anyway.
Him: lozllozlozll lozlzlozlolzlozllolzllozlzllllozl!!!
Her: Yeah you wish. It’s not going to happen. I don’t even let my boyfriend fuck me in the ass.
Him: lozl
Her: Oh yeah? You know why I won’t let you fuck me in the ass? Because I’m not a slut, that’s why. What happened should never have happened. And I’m not into being romanced that way.
Him: lozlozl
Her: Quit talking about fucking me in the ass. I bet you don’t have the guts to do it anyway. You just talk big. If you want to fuck me in the ass, you’re just going to have to be a man and take it. If that’s how you want to romance me, then romance me like that. I don’t have to like it. But that’s never going to happen.
Him: lol
Her: You just shut your fine mouth up, mister.
Him: loz
Her: I’m tired of talking about this. Okay you can fuck me in the ass if it’s so important to you. Will that turn you on?
Him: lozl
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This might work on me.
But i’m a dude.
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Just as funny, and in only two lines.
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hahahahahaahahahhahahaaha
its good to be back for a bit he he he
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Aight, CH, so I haven’t read the Jizzabel piece and won’t, but there is more to the “failed pickup artists” theme than just guys failing to get laid, even if ol’ Jizzy is just a hater.
The pickup artists mixed truth and healthy male dream-dreaming with their own screwy-ass business models built on male insecurity. I went to a bootcamp and it was, eh, ok–actually worthwhile overall–but worth $3k? (And then after word that gaggle of faggots essentially tried to weakly recruit me and others to write copy for them so they could imagine that they were corporate jackoffs. But I digress.) A lot of the changes and turnabouts that bootcamps and pickup material are meant to influence happen, or happen more smoothly, if they unfold in a mature way on their own terms in the lives of individual men. I could say more about that, but suffice it to say that the pickup artist industry largely preys parasitically on the “rising beta” stage of male development. And yeah, this opens a recurring discussion about “just letting things happen” versus explicitly making them happen. We all know there’s a sweet spot, we don’t have to discuss it for hours. It’s just plainly true that a lot of the pro pickup artists exaggerate the need for pro pickup artistry and coaching. Not that it hasn’t helped some, many, but . . .
Your blog has been accused of lingering in “rising beta” territory. But you don’t charge anything, do you? Big difference. I learned absolutely nothing on bootcamp that I hadn’t already picked up on your blog in a far finer and harder-hitting form.
[heartiste: my argument is not about the bootcamps, of which most of them, from what i can tell, overcharge for what they offer. (but they are free to do so as long as there are dupes willing to cough up the dough.) my issue is with these anti-pua haters who then go on to claim that game has no value, when, if you look closely at their gripes, the real reason for their failures is that they aren’t using game tactics AT ALL. they are just straight up losers who can’t be bothered to learn the craft, or who lack the motivation and self-analysis to follow through. a few of them might be so nerdy or ugly that no game in the world will help, but then that’s true about any human endeavor: the exceptions don’t disprove the rule.]
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So, yeah. There’s just manning up to Conan the Barbarian levels, and tapping into the healthy stream of virile masculine dream vision that was denied to us in the gynarchic matrix. But there’s also an industry of faggots that trades on rising beta insecurities in exchange for as much money as they can get on a “easy payment!” schedule.
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I think their problem is a combination of laziness and a desire for instant gratification. They try it for a while, fail utterly, fail to analyze why they failed, and decide it doesn’t work. This stuff can take years of work before a payoff becomes obvious.
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[heartiste: my argument is not about the bootcamps, of which most of them, from what i can tell, overcharge for what they offer. (but they are free to do so as long as there are dupes willing to cough up the dough.) my issue is with these anti-pua haters who then go on to claim that game has no value, when, if you look closely at their gripes, the real reason for their failures is that they aren’t using game tactics AT ALL. they are just straight up losers who can’t be bothered to learn the craft, or who lack the motivation and self-analysis to follow through. a few of them might be so nerdy or ugly that no game in the world will help, but then that’s true about any human endeavor: the exceptions don’t disprove the rule.]
Obviously we’re on the same page there. I just don’t want to court complacency and signal to insecure guys that they can sail the PUA seas without fear of pirates. There be some major butt piracy out there. But, hey, that comes back to you, because the Chateau is A+++. I get a gold-ass ticket in every candy bar I eat here. For free!
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there’s a lot of god awful game floating around here, and i’m starting to worry that it’s going to get a bad rep because of it (brazenly dumb instances of sexual interplay have a way of very rapidly katamari balling their way around the internet and into the public consciousness).
one-word replies like “cool” and “aite” are fine if non-committal. insulting the chick without any flair or badgering her for sex when the mood is jarringly wrong, like most of the replies in this thread would have one do, is just clueless and risible.
he made the very astute observation that the girl was willing to fuck but needed some kind of emotional commitment from the man to lower her slut defences, probably because she lost the “connection” with her ‘boyfriend’ through strong guilt. there is a time and a place for everything, and being too much of a prick without knowing exactly how to calibrate it will seriously lose you a certain bang.
start with something like “i know, babe. [sentence about your relationship so far tailored to touch on your experiences]” and go from there. don’t push for a night out or for her to come over in person unless it’s in character. be laconic but use the language of intuition and emotion so you’re sharing the same tongue.
deftly manipulating a girl’s heart with tempestuous thrusts of affection and brilliant recounts of shared emotional connections, forcing her to see only you in her future with all the mystery of non-commitment… i don’t know how much of this is pure instinct and how much can be taught, but in my history it’s what transforms a girl from curious to slave-like and desperate to please.
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I like how the Jizzabells main gripe is that there’s no concern expressed that women are the “targets” of pua tactics and in the same breath argue that pua tactics don’t work. So apparently women are the real victims here because they are the targets of men who keep missing their targets. Well, hell, I guess in a convoluted way that’s sorta true.
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Nothing they hate more than a beta trying to jump the prison wall. I wonder if it’s a genetic thing – i.e. they want alphas who are “born” alpha rather than a beta who learned to be alpha by imitation. And I believe it’s a maxim here that breeding tells, more so than liberals (for example) would care to admit.
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just accomplishing *something* will make you more alpha naturally. the genes of guys who can only play video games and watch porn are not needed in the gene pool, and females are making sure that they have a hard time propagating.
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wow same people still here kickin wild shit for years
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It’s good to see you back.
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yea lara thnks
ahe is kicking it lollzzz style funny shit
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my dreams are about to come true hopefully finally if i don’t get shot stabbed or fucked up first
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What’s that? Are you getting married?
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lol been married for a while
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still got same chick been with for like almost 9 years now between periods of not being with her ran out loot in one of those periods now she still waiting on me again
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Good stuff. Thanks to everyone who commented on this and yesterday’s post.
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How about this:
“We are not doing that again IHABF”
Reply an hour later: “yah i heard” or “yah i know”
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I don’t think surrendering to IHAB is a winner. You’ve denutted yourself.
How about “and after I mercy banged you?”
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What I meant was to imply that you already knew she had a BF, or that you are implying that you heard from someone else that she did
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“and after I mercy banged you”…is playing into HER frame and sounds angry.
Anything that refers to the banging: “didn’t hear you complaining” while funny still plays into her frame.
I’m trying to think of a good response. I’ve been in this situation as I mention above.
Going beta provider, then disappearing has worked for me.
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Her: “IHABF we are not doing that again text”
Me: ok.
out to get some new girls, end of the story.
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Ur all wrong
She & op don’t matter
The BF was key to this
Op should have destroyed him with one swipe…
“he is worthless if his GF willingly was drilled”
He is finished, so reality us where we are”
No woman wants a bf like that; and I would be riding her….
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After reading these comments all I can say is that you boys must be really young and ineperienced and are not used to dealing with any quality female. And btw, forget that boyfriend nonsense because I’ve never met a female who did not have a bf even when she doesn’t.They all say that in one way or another because they’re all insecure and don’t want people to think that no man wants them. When she sent that first text about having a bf and not doing it again you should have completely changed the subject and not mentioned anything about a bf or even the fact that you just had sex with her.
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And btw, forget that boyfriend nonsense because I’ve never met a female who did not have a bf even when she doesn’t.
Good point. Every halfway attractive young woman has something that can count as a boyfriend. Unattractive ones have fantasy boyfriends.
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I have used following lines many times with
good results.
Her: blah, blah ….
Me: Ok. But, you are allowed to change
your mind.
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Had a similar situation come up while in bed with an ex gf (background, we broke up last August, stayed in contact, hang out here and there, moments of close physical intimacy…she split with me cause I didn’t really care and that I was seeing multiple girls at the beginning of our relationship as she found out later and I didn’t really care to make her feel unique and not just another girl).
Anyway, in bed. She is hesitant to have sex. LMR happens, then sex. After she orgasms she starts getting really emotional and pushes me away. I don’t say anything. She moves to her own side of the bed. Back towards me. I lean over kiss her back. I go to get water, give her her own cup. I get back in bed. Rub my hand on her back and then leave her be, and stay on my side of the bed. No words have been said since she pushed me away. She finally sits up and says:
her: I can’t do that anymore.
me: okay
Her: I can’t have sex with you anymore.
me: I understand
Her: I should probably look for another place to stay since it’s probably not fair to stay here and not put out.
me: come here. (I pull her close and kiss the top of her head) I want you to do whats best for you, do what feels right. It’s okay.
Her: (no real words are said. She leans on me, I wrap my arms around her shoulder, holding her, after some silence I say)
Me: In the moment, being with you felt right, but I want you to be happy and if you’re happy in the moment but then beat yourself up the next week about it, I want you to do what’s best for you. I’ll understand.
From there she takes a shower, nothing else is mentioned about it. Then for the next few hours we go out, have a good time, she is having fun smiling, she’s even making plans about coming to stay the night next week after she’s done drinking with her gfs and how she wants to become more social towards my brother that i live with (her and him rarely talk through our whole relationship, he’s v quiet and intimidating towards women), she’s planning future scenarios, I’m like that sounds good / we’ll figure it out, etc. I don’t text her till that night about a movie I saw (Cabin in the woods = amazing)…we chat for a sec, later she text me ‘hoping you’re having sweet dreams.’
Whether that would work in this scenario, not sure, but it was similar and happened yesterday so I thought I’d share.
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Agreed. Can you expand on this? I’d like to hear more of what you had in mind.
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” IHABF we are not doing that again text”
3 days later – “OK”
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