Reader Aureo wants to know if this conversation he had with a girl he likes has cleared or obstructed the path to sex with her.
I want to bang this girl [ed: don’t we all!], but she just got a boyfriend so the antislut shields are up. Yet I know she likes me, so it’s only a matter of good logistics.
I once forgot her name and called her something else, and since then, every time we see each other, we make up a different (and normally dramatic) name, and laugh.
This is a conversation we just had, in which she subtly shoved me off:
Me: Danielle Marie Delacroix! (fake names we say)
Her: Mr. Alexander von Luparius the Third!
Me: *long weird name*
Her: Yeah, but you can call me Diane (her real name) ^^
Me: I don’t like that name that much ^^
H: ¬¬ i suppose we must do something about it, they dont call me “hard fists” for anything!
M: Ill beat you up like no one has!
H: haha I was just telling you mi nickname, as a curious fact.. haha
M: ok ok, I thought you were threatening me, still our issue remains.
H: we can talk it, we can spare some lives, some broken bones and stuff.
M: not to mention a few destroyed building and a public riot. Anyway, how do you like to be called?
H: haha elementary my dear Watson: Diane, and you? how do you like to be called?
M: so I lived deceived ALL this time?
H: yeah, all this time, but yes, sorry cowboy
M: It’ll be time to make up names for another person, then.
H: do you remember how all this came up?
M: yeah, I called you Valerie or something.
H: yes
M: so?
H: so nothing
M: so nothing whatthen the conversation died.
how did I do?
You didn’t specify, but I’ll assume this was a face-to-face, three dimensional conversation you had with the girl, rather than email or text. So we’ll proceed from that premise.
First, I like the fake name game. That’s a great way to reframe a social faux pas like forgetting a girl’s name, and it incorporates a pared-down form of role-playing which is catnip to girls.
Second, your flirtation skills are very good. You know how to keep a convo rolling with light, witty banter. But all light all witty banter soon makes Jack an unsexy, entertainment monkey. Flirty talk is like starring in a sitcom: you gotta shoot for going out on top, otherwise all anyone will remember about you is your crappy last couple of seasons where you spent your episodes trying too hard to recapture your old glory.
Do you know where you blew it? Right after she asked “how do you like to be called?”, and you replied by continuing along the playful path you were already skipping happily down. Her personal question about your name (a major IOI from a girl, don’t forget) was your cue to get real with her for a minute. Girls love flirting, but they love it even more when a man knows how and when to segue from innocuous flirting to charged sexual energy. Had you dropped the jokes and your smile, replaced them with a steady gaze and serious expression, you would have stood a better chance at moving your conversation onto more fertile ground.
A lot of guys make your mistake; they get excited when they see the positive reaction and laughs that their playfulness elicits in a girl, and they do as men do — if some playfulness is good, then more must be better! But girls don’t think like men. Girls love unpredictability, they love being kept on their toes, and so they love a man who can turn on a dime from cocky to sexual tension.
Always keep the end goal in mind when you are flirting with a girl. Your end goal is not the elicitation of fleeting laughs or light forearm touches. It is penis in vagina. PRIMORDIAL PENIS IN COSMIC VAGINA. Never forget that. Temper your pride and your excitement at managing to keep a girl interested in a conversation with you; that giddy excitement will obscure the path to your ultimate goal by diverting you from the sequence of moves you must make, as the man, to seduce a woman into bed.
The next time you are playfully engaging a girl you want to screw, I want you to ask yourself “Is my penis in this girl’s vagina? No? Then there is more work to be done. More need to lead. No rest for the turgid.” Flirt on, flirt off, young Danielson.
Proper way: ‘how do you like to be called?’ ‘Daddy’
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Excellent analysis.
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To me, that looks like the transcript of a text convo. If so, there’s not much sexual tension in there. Or any, on closer inspection. Fun banter between BFFs, I would say. No game involved. I hope CH is right and it happened in person. But even so… not great.
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Be careful not to become a PUA monkey doing tricks and begging for attention and approval, Danielson.
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I sort of knew this not very smart football player in college. He didn’t remember my name, but he remembered my phone number (4 digits on campus), so that’s what he said when he ran into me one day.
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Typical chick.
Always labeling guys you want to fuck as “not so smart”.
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His name?Junior Seau.
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Love the subliminal insult.
To him you were ‘just a number’
😉
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A number that was called most likely at 2am. . .
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“Do you know where you blew it? Right after she asked “how do you like to be called?”
Yes. He blew it exactly there, for he had a phenomenal opportunity to inject the most potent type of sexualization: dominance.
A possible escalation response along those lines.”
“You are to call me Master. Failure to do so will be punished with spankings.” (smirks are essential here.)
When you say something like this, don’t backpedal, ever. Keep your cool even if she freaks out a little. Most of the time, it’s just for show. You may even have an opportunity here, if she responds well, to smack or pinch her ass playfully.
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Didn’t know hispanics needed white guys advice to breed more, Aureo. But, I’ll help: be witty like I am and you’ll go far. la vista and whatnot
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It’s so sad the way your grammar is so poor. But there might be some people willing to overlook your shortcummings.
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Speaking of. It’s Daniel-san.
I know, I know. I’m a niggler.
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Ha!
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irl, that type of comment is
GirlSpeak for
“your place or mine, asshole”
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*shakes head* And now we have to add translation to the list.
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wit is defined as inventiveness. your MO is trite haikus. and an evident lack of humility. PS the word “breed” is properly used in an animal context. im giving you the benefit of the doubt of the lesser of two stupidities: that of rhetorical misappropriation rather than rabid racism.
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“how do you like to be called?”
at night.
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Her: haha elementary my dear Watson: Diane, and you? how do you like to be called?
Him: Bond, James Bond.
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Buck Rogers
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“How do you like to be called?”
You tell her to come close to you, wagging your index finger, you put you hand behind her neck, and whisper into her ear…”
“Oh, baby!”
Guaranteed to shift the frame, make her giggle, and to increase the sexual tension.
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“How do you like to be called?”
answer:
“Depends what you’re wearing. ‘daddy’ has been pretty common lately”
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The next time you are playfully engaging a girl you want to screw, I want you to ask yourself “Is my penis in this girl’s vagina? No? Then there is more work to be done
The best take-away of any article on any game blog ever.
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“How do you like to be called?”
“My Lord and Master” usually works for me 😉
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Here’s a science article confirming everything you write:
Why Women Choose Bad Boys
http://www.livescience.com/20294-women-choose-bad-boys.html
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So true… Of course men have known this for years, and women will deny it always, doesn’t make it any less true of course. Personally, I’m thankful that women are masters at self-delusion – you can be completely honest and they will hear what they want to hear.
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“How do you like to be called?”
“How do you feel about ‘daddy’?”
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OT but potential blog fodder. Article on Southern women by a Southern woman. Contradicts many of the Chateau views of wimmin as odious harpies (which they sure are up around these hey-ah New Yawk parts).
http://gardenandgun.com/article/southern-women
Also: “Garden and Gun.” Is that a great freaking name for a magazine or what?
[heartiste: why are you believing what women say? lemme tell ya, i have experience with southern women. they ain’t no different in the major respects from their northern sisters.]
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Heads up, man. I thought so, too. I just let my subscription to this magazine run out as gardens and guns are two of my favorite topics. Don’t let the southern charm fool you. This is a very liberal magazine.
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As to the article itself, the deeper south one goes, the more this holds true. However, the south is becoming inundated with northerners and things are changing down here. More and more women are letting themselves go here as well. Though I do not think the true southern women will let it change them or their daughters too much. I don’t know how long that will last, though.
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Thanks for the tip, Sting. As I poked around the website some more, I got the impression that it was just another SWPL magazine but with a Southern veneer. I guess the fact that they acknowledge things like guns and hunting even exist is better than you’d get at most SWPL mags, but they certainly aren’t going to run articles on “Why I hoist my Confederate flag.”
As usual, just a train rolling more slowly to perdition. Never a train in reverse.
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Nothing 2 see here. Seen what southern sorority chicks do, and its no different than anywhere else. Plus I know they start reeeeallly early. But guys seem to be a lot more swarthy and lantern jawed than anywhere else, so maybe wommen get on their best behavior after the carousel more than anywhere else. They left out the stereotype where men are loud, bombastic, and brawling. If you even know what a non-sports blog is, forget it- you are too smart for the caveman game that happens.
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I think the hypergamy factor is the same, if not stronger in southern girls, but as far as the article is concerned it is mostly talking about looks. I’ve been out of school for a while now, but I attended a southern school for a bit and the girls definitely took better care of their looks than up north. Has this changed? It seems that the further south one goes, the more the girls dress the part.
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Any woman who calls herself southern is the biggest hoe on earth. She will also yell about niggers in the parking lot to where you will have to wrap her shirt over her slut mouth when she is drunk enough.
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@Heartiste
“do you remember how all this came up?”
Although I agree with CH about where he went wrong, the situation
might have been salvaged at the point in the quotes.
Here, giving a straight answer is boring.
Giving a “funny” answer might be just as bad, if she wanted
to get off the laugh track.
Totally changing the subject – hard to do when you have
zero time to think – might have worked, as in
“do you want to meet for drinks at Snorkels after work” or
something. (use a real place).
Or asking a question about HER, unrelated to any immediate
activity might have worked, like “do you have a cat” or anything
slightly personal but not too personal.
Thor
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Agree with the part about “zero time to think”. It’s easy to read about something on after the fact and come up with your own perfect response in the comments section of a blog. He did OK. He’ll probably have more chances with this girl.
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OT, but what do people think of this article:
Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/05/15/straight-white-male-the-lowest-difficulty-setting-there-is
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he can diaf. oh and don’t you dare debate his version of privilege. How about this, this country isn’t a nation of immigrants as if a bunch of people just showed up in the middle of the night, we’re a bunch of former English subjects that rejected the king and started letting in other people. As one of those other people, my family assumed (since we’re pre Ted Kennedy’s version of the trojan horse) that this would include buying into that culture. And so, there’s my white male privilege, I accept the terms of condition. If you’re a black kid or a wog and you aren’t succeeding, then you’ve obviously be raised in a family that decided that the White euro terms of conditions were for suckers. How’s that working out for you?
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lol straight white male is highest dificulty setting
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I used to like Scalzi. He seems like a good writer. Then he posted some sort of weepy queer paean when NY or one of those enlightened states rammed gay “marriage” through the legislature, and I realized he was just another SWPL squish.
Note the tight leash he keeps on his dissenting comments (and makes sure you know it). He oversees a dork masturbatorium. You can almost smell the layers of dank virginal semen putrefying his blog.
The article you post is white self-hatred (simple white guilt was so 2000s) translated into impenetrable nerdese. Who has time for this?
Men have emasculated themselves in modern society. And just like every other comprehensive civic transformation, white men have taken the lead.
Matt
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Liberals do this sort of thing all the time. They assume people reject their shitty ideology because they just don’t understand it, then try to rephrase the same stupid shit in a different way thinking maybe now this ignorant ape I am talking to will get it.
In reality plenty of us can comprehend their bullshit just fine. We just dismiss it because that’s all it is: bullshit.
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Yeah, Scalzi has huge blind spots on numerous subjects. If you want to understand him simply change your setting to “limousine liberal/armchair anarchist”. If it goes against standard progressive dogma, it is obviously wrong. Being born in 1965, when I was wandering a college job fair once I was told there was no way I could get in the FBI as a white male. Recruiting was angled toward minorities and women. Period. Being short I should have sued on height discrimination but didn’t give a damn.
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One of the basic forms of Liberal white-hating racism is racist denial of accomplishment. White people don’t have it good, they make it good, and the rest live off of us as parasites. That’s why, despite all their whining about ‘racism” like shit on a stick we can’t shake these minorities off, they follow us around like a tick looking for a dog. This applies equally to minority groups that are capable as well as to those who are not. Anti-racism is a racist code word for anti-white, and most of it consists of blood-sucking minorities who want to remain close to our wallets, there’s little morality involved.
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was this a f2f convo? I think the host is right, you beat that conversation dead at a certain point. You should have included kino escalation and boldness if you wanted to do all the things that MM states.
That’ll move things forward, or get you a firm answer of LJBF or IHAB if you go too far.
You say she just got a boyfriend, so I would think if you don’t want to be gay friendzone besty with super awesome clever gay rapport, you’d better move things along and make it clear that your zone is erogenous.
As far as beating a dead horse, it’s a general rule that you should not pop a stiffy from mere conversation with a prospective smoochie. Instead, dread re-furrowing a conversational tract, if you’re bored, she’s probably bored. It’s better to switch things up. I think most betas out there think that naturals are super smooth and clever, when most nats are abrupt and challenging.
The host has pointed this out before, most guys get so excited to have a convo tract that they’ll hold onto it for dear life. Shit, if this was happening in real life, just walk away without excusing yourself as soon as the shit got good and clever, so that you can have an operational pause, and return in a few to a new convo.
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If you’ll indulge my pedantry I think you made a mistake. Her did not ask “how do you like to be called,” Me asked that to Her about 3/4 the way down.
In any case, I think the reader lost it when he replied with *long wierd name* at the beginning, and I think that’s what you meant to say as well. In addition to accepting her frame too much he also re-used the same joke immediately, I could feel his sexual upper hand poofing away that very moment. It would have been a really good opportunity to call her something much shorter, something with a sexy hint (partially accept her frame plus reframe a little bit), or maybe instead turn the car around completely with something like ‘you really know how to beat a dead horse’
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my bad, I saw the second one. After reading it again it seemed like she was throwing him second chances but he whiffed those as well.
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Suzie Rottencrotch? Munchma Quchi?
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Aureo did ok. But I don’t think the girl will spread her legs. He entered too many times her frame. Here my respones.
Me: Danielle Marie Delacroix! (fake names we say)
Her: Mr. Alexander von Luparius the Third!
—-
Cool and fresh start. She went into your frame.
—-
Me: *long weird name*
Her: Yeah, but you can call me Diane (her real name) ^^
Me: I don’t like that name that much ^^
—-
She left your frame. you should avoid the Dancing Monkey. One fun name should be enough, but for good possibility for call back humor. After she said her real name (IOI) you should have rewarded her and continue with teasing, like:
Her: blablabla Diane
Me: I like the name (IOI). Sound like Diana…Hm so be it. You are Princess Diana. Call me King Charles.”
—-
H: ¬¬ i suppose we must do something about it, they dont call me “hard fists” for anything!
M: Ill beat you up like no one has!
—-
Again entering her frame. She came up with a challenge, new name “hard fists”. Challenge her on that one:
M: That’s a tough name. I don’t call anyone like this before they show me, that they earned the name.
—–
H: haha I was just telling you mi nickname, as a curious fact.. haha
M: ok ok, I thought you were threatening me, still our issue remains.
—–
You lost the frame and here you try to move back to the previous topic. Also “ok ok” sounds submissive.
—–
H: we can talk it, we can spare some lives, some broken bones and stuff.
M: not to mention a few destroyed building and a public riot. Anyway, how do you like to be called?
—-
Entering her frame. I would call her on her destructive mood.
M: No Princess Diana. King Charles is the the one who destroys things. After everything is destructed I usually have sour muscles and need a good massage. Can you give good massages?
The rest is not worth mentioning. You lost here already.
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hi, I’m the guy who made the comment. (:
I agree with you that I followed her frames a few times, but still my replies weren’t submissive.
As Heartiste noted, my mistake was carrying on with the same topic too many times, instead of escalating.
And here you’re basically making the same things as me, but with different words.
By the way, the ‘ok ok’ part was not said submissively, in its context it was more like “woah stop your horses lady”.
Promise I’ll do better next time (:
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Good breakdown of an important concept.
It sneaks up from the other end of the spectrum too…staying on sexual topics too long, too early in the interaction. You get talking about something dirty and show you’re a sexual guy, awesome…but then you get hooked on that topic and stay on it too long because your brain is saying “wow she admitted she likes doggy style! What else can I ask her about this topic? This is great!!” Next thing you know she thinks talking about sex with a girl is so rare an event in your life that you have to cling to that topic as long as possible out of fear it’ll never happen to you again.
The cause is the same (reaction/validation/approval-seeking). So naturally the solution is the same: switch it up so you’re unpredictable, like doing push/pull. If you’re flirting it up without pushing toward sex like the guy in this article, make sure to end it and push toward sex. If you’re talking sex stuff and pushing toward sex, make sure to pull back and chill and let the sexual tension build.
Learn to calibrate that balance and your pickup skills become an art-form.
Also this changes once you’ve gotten past a certain point in the relationship with her (like fucking her).
Her 1st signal for him to switch gears was giving her real name (“okay game’s over lets be real now”). 2nd signal was her asking how he likes to be called (“seriously, let’s get down to business”). Her 3rd (frustrated) signal was the “do you remember…?” bit. She was trying to change threads for him.
He actually initiated the “game’s over now” gear shift with his “anyway, how do you like to be called?” (key word was “anyway”) but I don’t think he realized he did that because then, incongruently, he resumed the old gear. That’s why she was basically like “wait what? I thought we were moving on here…?”. He basically went backwards in the pickup without realizing it, but she could sense it.
It’s no big deal, she wants to fuck his brains out going by the chemistry here. He should just change threads entirely in his next convo as if none of that last bit happened or was awkward, VS trying to dig out of this situ with the perfect response. If your parachute has a hole in it, it might be best to just cut the ropes on it and pull out a new one instead of trying to patch the hole in mid-air.
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Two things here….
1. Aureo says she has a bf, so this interaction as cocky-funny as it was runs the risk of turning him into “that funny guy” like Chandler on Friends who everyone likes but no one wants to bang. The interaction itself isn’t the problem.
When she asked “So how do you like to be called?”
He could have answered in two ways:
1) “About once a week” and smiled…she would have had to think about it….then he could use his real name.
2) This is a good opportunity and I’ve used this technique for “vulnerability game”. After all the cocky-funny banter, when she asks you your name, you can say “John…but my mother always called me Johnny…” The injection of the “mother” part will do one of two things: move the conversation towards “comfort” showing he’s a real guy and demonstrating the “vulnerability” aspect to contrast all the shtick he’s been so good at maintaining.
But the fact she has a boyfriend means he’s got to limit contact…make her start missing him.
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good suggestions.
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YaReally, excellent reply and added analysis.
“Learn to calibrate that balance and your pickup skills become an art-form.”
Seduction is grounded in science; but applied as an art form. It’s an advanced skill set and the calibration will come by reflecting on these types of experiences, refining, then re-applying. Reflect. Refine. Re-Apply.
It’s challenging to break down a physical conversation into text forum and convey all dimensions of meaning, but CH and YaReally masterfully underscore that unpredictability is missing, and the talk track is too linear. This is common in mid-level students, but an important indicator for coaches to indetify and address for further development.
The short fix is to be: playful/serious/playful/serious
In more detail the idea is to weave or navigate through her mind with multiple parallel threads of varying topics that interchange playful and neutral content. Unpredictable, non-linear. Like multiple sine waves intersecting at different points on a spectral graph.
Serious doesn’t mean dramatic and logical necessarily, its all relative to the contrasting content. But as CH describes, “get real with her for a moment.” Of course kino plowing and non verbal are huge components to doing this effectively, but that’ll saturate the reply with too much info.
Overlooked and understated by seduction artists (and always ignored and disregarded by mental masturbating sexless PU posers) is that this conversational skill set is how you illicit her values, invoke emotion and scan for cues to escalate. You take the subject from COMFORT to SEXUAL COMFORT and escalate to arousal and so forth. It’s 90% of the process, and critically important.
This conversational art form is how the seducer can FORGE the ‘connection’ that women yearn for during their mate selection process.
Expanding on YaReally’s comment at the end. Great tactic. Sometimes (lots of times) a frame isn’t working, or could be working better. The inexperienced artist will intensify the shitty frame and basically add more holes in the parachute. The more experienced guy will simply: create a new frame and see how the subject responds. A suggestion I like: all of sudden get a puzzled look, point and make a confusing statement about a clothing article: “cool braclet. i didnt realize walmart sold those.” (playful)
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“How do you like to be called?”
I’d probably go with a ruse here, like one I’ve used a few times.
Me: “Can’t say it out loud… come close and I’ll whisper it in your ear…”
Then even if she stalls, or objects, I’d just say “Closer…”, then when right by me, put my hand on her far shoulder and instead of whispering a name, just stick my erect tongue into her ear! 😉
That usually has an electrifying effect on a girl!
She will either giggle/laugh or may say something like “Gross”, but either way you have penetrated her defenses, and moved up a base…
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Yeah, agree. He shoulda turned dead serious and replied “Mista Lova Boy”
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Her: “How do you like to be called?”
Me: “Guilty as charged”
Her: “What?”
Me: “ok”
There you go.
What do I win now?
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@Khal – that was funny, I actually LOL’ed
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i thought u died season 1
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Dude, it’s just a nickname.
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My one-size-fits-all version of the fake name game reframe is all to do with Rumplestiltskin. As in, “you’re not gonna tell me your name is Rumplestiltskin are you?” or “my name is Rumplestiltskin.” Works on all ages and genders too.
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A straightforward “tell me what your name is again” is most effective of all. Do rock stars remember the name of every groupie who makes eyes at them?
Remembering names too easily is supplication that can border on stalker-creepiness. There is something uniquely flattering and intimate about remembering names. It has its place. But since when is flattery any part of pick-up?
Hamster: “I must not have made much of an impression. He must have lots of girls giving him their names. I will have to try harder to distinguish myself. Why doesn’t he remember me? Doesn’t he like me? I was wearing that lime-green blouse I hate. I knew I should’ve gotten rid of that thing! What’s so hard to remember about my name? Is it too common? Maybe I mumbled it. I’ll be sure to enunciate in the future.”
I have a good memory. And yet, I have tried many times to become better at putting names to faces to no avail. The only people who manage to leave an indelible impression with me are those who have combined a striking image to their name. Our memories are primarily visual.
Matt
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@Kinga,
I’m terrible at remembering girl’s names, but have come to realize it’s totally unnecessary. So now I don’t bother trying to remember names at all. Just give each of them a nickname and be done with it. Better yet give most of them the same nickname, so you only have a few names to remember – it’s that simple.
Sometimes I’ll guess a name, say “Betty”, and if she says, “That’s not my name!” I just say, “You seem like a Betty to me” and don’t explain the remark at all… no need to…
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“And yet, I have tried many times to become better at putting names to faces to no avail. The only people who manage to leave an indelible impression with me are those who have combined a striking image to their name. ”
what i do is use mnemonics. for EG, if i meet a “tony” at a party, ill put his face on a box of frosted flakes. works every time, assuming you have a clear and obvious association for whatever name you encounter.
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I’ve heard that mnemonic trick. But for reasons explained above, I never made it much of a priority to overcome. There is something faintly obsequious about being a walking rolodex.
On the other hand, a powerful mnemonia (just made that word up) comes in handy. And it’s not as inaccessible a skill as you might think. I’ll use the Tony the Tiger thing because you’re absolutely correct: I remember trivial details from years and decades ago just because I had consciously committed them to a visual cue.
Matt
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I say I’m good with faces, not names, then trail off while staring into their eyes, tilting my head.
The answer works for me because it’s a backhanded, subliminal compliment. It means their face is noteworthy (female id, objectification, body image). It’s also the truth. I suck with names.
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@Redleg,
Ditto here, I never forget a face, ever…
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Interesting. My own analysis differs quite a bit from Heartists. From my reading, you’ve been friendzoned hardcore. She just started dating some other guy, plays a cute but non-sexual wordame with you, and is willing to let the conversation die out awkwardly rather than elaborate on the ill-concieved “so?” at the end.
I do completely agree that you needed to bail on your conversation earlier though. Here’s a few possible ways you could have steered the conversation towards more productive ends. (listed from earliest possible exit to latest)
Option 1:
“I’m fun. You need to earn it”
Blah blah blah…
Her: Yeah, but you can Call me Diane
Him: But I WILL call you whatever I please. And until you prove worthy of better, I shall call you B.B.B.
Her: Beautiful Brainy Babe?
Him: Boring Blonde Bitch
Her: WTF dude?
Him: Don’t like it? Prove you’re not boring. Let’s you and me go do something reckless and crazy. RIGHT NOW.
This is an entire frame you can use to escape the friendzone of a taken girl (works on single girls too actually). The contrast you’re trying to paint is that you’re the fun-spontaneous guy. Spending time with you is an adventure. By comparison her boyfriend is boring and predictable. Give her enough time to draw the connection, or (if she’s none to bright) point it out to her by finding an excuse to call them a boring couple.
Once the hampster sees the wheel and starts to spin it, you’re DTF.
Option 2:
”
Blah blah blah
Her: i suppose we must do something about it, they dont call me “hard fists” for anything!
Him: Yeah well they call me Cave Man King. [use a cave man voice now]. Hard fists Pretty. Mmmmm. Me take for cave-babies.
As soon as you say that, grab her by the waist, throw her over your shoulder, and pantomime dragging her back to your cave, willing or not.
The thing I like about this is it capitalizes on the role-playing element of your name game. You’re now playing the alpha cave man who is going to get some, and she’s roleplaying your cumdumpster. She doesn’t even have a choice, since you picked her up and tossed her over your shoulder.
Also, you’ve absolutely shattered the touch barrier. This gives you an opportunity for some light kino (and sets a precedent for it in the future) all without doing anything that would likely trigger her anti-slut-defense.
When a girl is thinking about you violently fucking her brains out, you’re not friendzoned anymore. Just make sure you KEEP putting sex on her mind every time the two of you talk. Before long, she’ll develop a pavlovian response to your very presence.
Option 3.
Drinks?
Blah blah blah
Her: we can talk it, we can spare some lives, some broken bones and stuff.
Him: Sure. [Day after tomorrow] at [Place]. Buy me a drink, and we’ll discuss your irrational attraction to me.
I might have taken the first two options. I DEFINATELY would have taken this one. Drinks “sounds” like a social event between two friends. But in the meantime you’ve got her isolated from her friends, away from the BF, and a little tipsy. Even better, as a DHV you got her to pay for it!
Seriously. She pitched you a softball right down the middle, and instead of swinging for the home run, you watched it sail past.
Option 4.
Make it up to me
Blah blah blah.
Her: yeah, all this time, but yes, sorry cowboy
Him: Decietful Wench! But as I’m a gentleman, I’ll give you an opportunity to make it up to me.
Note: This was your last possible parachute. By apologizing, she’s signaling that this game no longer entertains her, and it’s time to change the subject. Also, this should be accompanied by a quick physical exit as well.
So you’ve changed the subject. Now we’re talking about what she can do to EARN her way ‘back’ into your good graces. This could be anything from buying you a drink like in option 3 to, “I don’t have any dinner plans on Thursday night. Why don’t you cook me something and we’ll call it even?”
As with option 3, this sets up a first date without explicitly calling it one. Hopefully once you’ve got a woman paying for you to see her on the sly, you can close from there without outside help :).
Good luck!
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Option 3 is the only decent one, but even then “your irrational attraction for me” would trigger her ASD because she has a boyfriend (if she was single it would be fine, but with a BF she’d have to consciously choose to be a slut because you framed the drink invite that way) and he’s not high value enough for her to be buying him drinks…they have chemistry but she’s not enthralled by him yet (for various reasons).
The rest of the Options are super miscalibrated and steamroll over variables that in reality would cause them to go haywire (triggering ASD, frying her circuits (Buying Temperature), pushing before having the value to push, escalating before logistics are in place, etc).
He’s definitely on his way to the friend zone if he doesn’t pull out of this dive though.
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wemen dont get wordgames 😦 sad truth no matter sexual or not they 2 dumb play wordgames with friends
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SpK, you are creative, you have absorbed some of the lessons here, but I see a lot of try-hard posturing. You are making the fundamental mistake of overly stating things that should be sub-communicated.
Regarding the OP, YaReally said it well, but I’ll add that Aureo needs to learn to lead the flirting: snip her threads quickly, and switch threads before they die out. Aureo you are creative, and you’ll get better with practice. Your biggest problem is seeking her approval.
Imho, “how do you like to be called?” is a perfect opportunity to get closer, invade her personal space, touch her on the arm (mildly dominant), look at her with bedroom eyes, create more sexual tension and drama. Don’t be quick to reply. Doesn’t matter what you say, it’s how you say it.
Oh, and next time, dare Little Miss Hard Fists to punch you in the arm or the stomach. She’ll love it.
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/barack-obama-the-first-female-president/2012/05/14/gIQAViBlPU_story.html
Well, someone finally said it in public
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I thought her name was Mulva.
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Dolores!
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http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-sexier-women-more-stereotypically-girly
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Isolate already damn.
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Wasn’t there someone who used the same nickname for all his harem? That way, no matter who rang up, he could always say call ’em by name and be right.
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Beware the woman who insists on calling you “baby” in bed and not your real name.
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My take – “baby” is an extremely powerful word to a woman. It translates as “the most important thing in the whole wide world”. Not a bad thing to be called.
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I’ve dated an Ukrainian and a bunch of Polish girls and they all get the nickname: “Smoochka”
That’s much easier to remember, than Agnieska, Malgorzata and so on. I also like it, as it’s light and fluffy, with a hint of sexual overtone, and a Slavic sound to it. They’ve all like it too… so easy peasy all ’round.
On the flip side, I learned from one of them early on, that the Polish slang for “Cock/Phallus” is “Who-ee” – not sure how it’s written in Polish – and when out in mixed Slavic company, I have them refer to me as “Who-ee”, while I play the dupe who doesn’t know what it means – just for “shit and giggles”. It’s priceless to see the look on a fresh faced Polish hottie, just off the boat, when another hottie refers to you as the equivalent of “Cock” at a bar or other public place – try it!
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It’s “huj” and you don’t want girls calling you that in mixed company, it would make you look low value.
Playing the “dupe” in any social situation would make you look low value but especially in Slavic or Polish company where titles and caste has tremendous cachet.
It’s not “Cock” it’s more like “dick”…
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@Walla,
I should add a caveat to all my postings: “Context is king” or “Your results may vary” or “Do not try this at home”
For me, as a hyper-confident, old-fashioned masculine guy, who is extremely comfortable in my own skin, having a hottie (8 or 9) called me “Who-ee” in public, makes it seem to the other hotties like she’s complimenting my prowess. I fake being a dupe, only to add to the supposed authenticity, so that I can seem oblivious and bask in the warm glow of feminine attention.
So, in other words, if you can’t carry this off comfortably, then don’y try it – as it just may backfire on you…
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@Wala,
BTW, you are correct that Polish people are obsessed with titles and such. One Polish girl I dated proudly recounted how her maternal grandfather was a Polish Nobleman (Schlachta ?), and when I met her mother, she told me to always address her as, “Pani Albina” – Mrs/Madam Albina – she herself could address her as “Ala” the familiar version of Albina.
So when I met her mother for thee first time, I held out my hand and said, “Ala, pleased to meet you”. Her mother was surprised and the girl mortified, so I just gave her the old, “Homie don’t play dat shit” reply…
That’s how you set the stage for dealing with mothers-in-law dude!
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I was taught that “pan” and “pani” were polite Polish words too. But in addressing a Russian man with “pan” I was informed it was interpreted as “master” and a term used by a servant and an antiquated formality. That gave the conversation a whole different twist and he was mightily amused. I’m sticking to English where I still get myself into enough trouble anyway.
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@Geisha,
Yeah, it’s like Sir/Madam or Master/Mistress – honorifics.
I told this girl I would call her mother “Pani Albina” if she would inform her mother that I should be called:
“Sir Stephen” 😉
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Pan and Pani are first address. They can then say “Call me Ala/Alek” or whatever.
Or if you speak Polish, you can start with Pan/Pani, then move to the more familiar “Ty” as you continue.
If you don’t speak Polish, then just behaving yourself with the elders will make a difference.
They will constantly be judging you. So don’t be a “dupa” or act like a “ham”.
Poles always regard themselves as more westernized when compared to other Slavs. They use the Latin alphabet instead of the Cyrillic which is regarded as more Russian. Polish has more words from French and Latin related to its outward trading history and religious history connected to the Roman Catholic church vs the Russian Orthodox Church.
I digress. Not being Polish and acting like Kenny Powers is not seen as alpha, it’s seen as lacking in manners and low value…
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@Wawa,
It’s obvious you have zero experience in bedding Polish girls.
Polish girls, like German girls, tend to be feminine, and readily submissive. They respond very well to Alpha male behavior with a hint of a softer side. If you let them they will try and steer you down the whole marriage-family, put-a-ring-on-it route, as they are conservative and conscientious too. But the part you seem to be totally unaware of is that they may appear lady-like in public, but they are absolute sluts in bed. Once a Polish girl has fallen for you, there is virtually nothing she won’t do to please you, NOTHING – now that’s what I like.
Your approach of being super serious about bowing and scraping before them is pure, undiluted Beta behavior, and would place you in the no-sex-till-married category with them. My approach is one that opens girls legs.
I wish you the best in your elaborate attempts to pickup East Asian girls, but have never understood your posts about how to intricately understand an East Asians girls every gesture. Why… coz there is no need to. My brother spent a few years in Korea and he said he could go into a bar, walk up to a Korean girl, introduce himself and leave with her to have sex, all within the hour, often it only took 15 minutes…
All you need to do is show up, be Western and not be too Beta.
But if you are a lifelong Beta, then that might be the place to break you out of your bad habits, and get you over approach anxiety or whatever it is you suffer from.
I guess your on the learning track, which is good, but you have so much further to go if you think calling a Polish girl “Pani” (aka madam) will excite her – seriously Dude!
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what a tool l0l0l0ll0l0l0l0l0
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tępy huj dosłownie
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Oczywyscie…hamstwo nie ma placu w polskosci…
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It is a common mistake most guys make for sure. Especially when they’re new to this. Seeing girls react positively for the first time becomes a drug as it’s a response they’ve likely to not have received before in their beta days.
The trick to understanding the dynamic of the interaction is in firstly understanding what the purpose of banter and flirting is. It’s simply to spark attraction from a girl and to goad her into reacting emotionally.
The minute you feel that hook from her. It becomes vital to then go straight into rapport and connection building. Developing deep rapport, sexual tension and eventually sex.
The ultimate goal in any interaction between the 2 of you is to basically connect. On a subliminal level, the flirting is basically you aligning herself in her reality and way of talking, then slowly but surely getting her into your frame.
Once you’ve reeled her in, it’s then plain sailing.
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Agreed.
Except for last part: still work to do after hook point. She isn’t going to set the sail for you.
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Woah, there’s a post about me up there.
Thanks for your breakdown, something alike has happened to me many times before, and you explained the reason why, in my mind that logic resonated “if the girl likes me now, she’ll like me more if I tease her more”, but there’s a certain limit to that.
I think I can turn this to the right path again, acting like this not happened (:
I will ask me the same question everytime. Night
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don’t shame me, bro!
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you were born thanks to one, surely a beta 😉
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Would the tried and true “It’s complicated” work as a response to “how do you like to be called?”
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No.
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Another study confirms that women loves the bad man.
http://www.livescience.com/20294-women-choose-bad-boys.html
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the best scene in movie history shows why you should know when to move out of the clown routine.
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Agenda Insight: Goodbye to Good Men
Jordan B. Peterson is a tenured research and clinical PhD psychologist who currently teaches at the University of Toronto.
Hopefully this is the beginning of academics speaking out against the ills of gender feminism.
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A bit off topic, but if you have approach anxiety, you could do worse than take these guys as role models:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00f0xy8
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Btw there’s a new show about Men. Magic city real good, great cast if u like mad men boardwalk empire, give it a go!
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Am I the only one who thinks this was one of the lamest/nerdiest conversations ever?
[heartiste: i think the original emailer is not a native english speaker, so some smoothness is being lost in translation.]
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you do have a point,; it seems poetic though, too poetic
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Or:
The next time you are playfully engaging a girl you want to screw, I want you to ask yourself “Is this girl sucking my cock”? No? Then there is more work to be done
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lol. The goal-oriented male!
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[…] Heartiste — Alpha Assessment: The Name Game […]
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“Is my penis in this girl’s vagina? ”
very easy to remember! great help
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Here’s my recent text with a hot Taiwanese girl I sat next to on a plane and gamed, number closed and have been running text game until I go back to her city in a few weeks time. She was giving major IOI’s throughout as well as telling me she had a bf.
Recent text:
Her: Is your name Dave?
Me: Dave, but my mother called me David.
Her: What does your grandmother call you.
Me: Handsome Prince
Her; You must be joking
Me: yes actually….
Me: she calls me Handsome Devil
Her: Where do you get your confidence?
Me: my dna babe
Her; I’m appalled you would say that
Me: Are you a good kisser?
Her: I’m not in biology class now
Me: left it there…..didn’t reply text game ends….for that session
Thoughts?
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