Mystery has a pretty good reply (here’s his new website) to a hot chick who challenges him with a very common shit test that girls like to throw out.
HER: So why did you come over to talk to me?
HIM: [long, relaxed pause] Proximity.
She of course reacts by expressing that typical hot babe faux indignation that means the tingles have revved up. If you think “proximity” might be too polysyllabic a word for the girl you’re hitting on, you could substitute with “Convenience” or “You were closest.” The key will be your body language. Pause, and strike. Chicks dig the pause and strike.
HER: So why did you come over to talk to me?
GBFM: Because my lostas cockas is only a foot long.lzozozolzozzo
[heartiste: instant classic.]
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IMMEDIATE GBFM FOLLOWUP. When it’s not erect, that is.
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thanks for da complimenet hearsrtistesss!~!~!!
ity menaasz a lotz 2 da gbfm.
keeep up da saweomse noble noble work on behalf of all menz like cicero aristolee moses mises jseussu melvliile melville petrach plutarch senecea seneca virgle dante shakepseare “shake-a-spear lzozolzolzol” cato da elder cato da younger sun tzu buddha homer homer homer jefefrson washington adams amdison benjamain frnaklinz zlziozozozzozz
u make us all proud and remind us
taht manliness
and logic cand reason
and wonderful manly wit which attracteth teh tit
yet eixtsst in itss usblimiltty and nobility lzozozllzz
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You are pure awesomeness.
no homo.
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GBFM is better than Santa Claus. He IS real!
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PS i knew it, gbfm is a black dude yuk yuk yuk
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I second that, just cracking now
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lzozozozozo
when u do endz up getting mariried to a berankified mba, lzozozo dis is what you should drink out of every morning as u make da breakfast for your bernakified, asscocked wife and ritalin addicted kidz :
http://www.cafepress.com/greatbooksformen.584117744
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Romney will end Berny.
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womenz math: lzoozo
http://www.cafepress.com/greatbooksformen.582539788
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Awesome video. And most of his material is canned, but the delivery was near perfect.
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The vid that H is talking about is this one:
http://askmystery.com/2012/05/09/best-pickup-captured-on-camera/
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That was incredible
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HER: So why did you come over to talk to me?
HIM: Boredom.
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God bless Mystery. Our prophet and savior.
And all the haters all small-dicked angry bitter losers who can’t handle strong empowered women. And for once, this sentence really means something.
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yeah, definitely too many syllables. maybe mistaken as a question in national spelling bee. caution: do not use it on any girl without glasses or braces.
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I can’t see your actions, so I don’t give a damn about what you are saying.
Actually, if I could see how you act, your words still don’t mean shit.
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Look at the video.
Plus, you’re too dumb and a woman to write pickup commentary.
Please shut the fuck up.
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too many syllables
try hooked on phonics.
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1. Girl in video has neither.
2. Assuming a girl with glasses/braces is smarter than any other girl would be a detriment to any mans’ game.
3. If I have to dumb down my game to a monosyllabic level then I have made a poor target choice.
( Dumb girls make Mr Happy very sad.)
4. As “a girl ” you have no experience picking up girls as a man, thus your input on such matters is useless
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Let’s not ignore the fact that height is huge advantage. A tall guy, even an ugly tall guy, will get women’s attention more easily than a good-looking short guy. Being short isn’t a deal breaker if you can get an audience, but height is the single most important physical characteristic that women look for.
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Heh, who wants a giant bitch anyway? I like them no more than 5’7, and I’m 6’1.
Plenty of tiny bitches out there, and many of them are gorgeous. It’s not that I’m intimidated by tall bitches, but it really feels unnatural to look up to your bitch.
Choose a shorter bitch and you will be just fine. Mystery hit on that giant bitch because he’s a giant himself. I could do it, but if another equally good-looking non-giant bitch is around, I would prefer to hit on her.
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Also she’s obviously a paid actress. And a low self-esteem slut who was going to bang 10 other guys in the bathroom of that bar that night. Game only works on low self-esteem sluts, it wouldn’t work on a REAL woman. Also the whole video is obviously fake. Also Mystery is a celebrity who had a TV show so that’s why she liked him. Also he’s white and this would never work if he was any other height or race on any girl. Also he’s rich from teaching so she only liked him because he’s rich, you have to have money to get girls.
Game doesn’t really work! This is all lies!!!
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I don’t know if the video is fake or real, and I don’t know if all or part of these elements you mentioned played a role. I’m inclined to believe they did. Therefore, you can’t say game doesn’t work. It works in certain instances, not all. It boils down to the guy having something to offer – looks, money, power, fame, etc. Most men don’t have fame, power, or money, but at least if they have some looks it can seal the deal. You don’t have to be very handsome, but you do have to look masculine and emit it. Most women are not looking for a pretty boy; they’re looking for masculine. I am amazed at some men thinking that women should fall hand over foot for them just because they are men and any woman that doesn’t is too judgmental, irrational, materialistic, or not feminine enough.
Please evaluate yourselves fairly; ask if you had a daughter would you want her going after a guy with nothing to offer? I doubt it. Even a good-looking guy with nothing more to offer wouldn’t be the man you’d want for her.
True; this kind of action works mostly on low-esteem sluts, but at least if the guy is masculine and Alpha, he has something to work with to entice that slut. But I know it wouldn’t work on me. I stay away from casual sex so I wouldn’t take this past some flirtation with him, which is fun to play, but will never end up going home with him.
So yes, if you have nothing to offer but your masculinity, and there is a low-self-esteem slut around, there is a high chance you’d score. No brainer!
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I’m pretty sure YaR was being sarcastic.
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Just saving retards time, I mean those are most of the responses a video like that will get from guys who suck at game, are anti-game, and women after all.
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wtf?
If you didn’t read yareally’s past comments, as well as KingA, Rollo and others, you missed 30% of this blog’s value.
Get back to the archives, you got a lot of reading to do.
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Even if he was being sarcastic, which on a second reading it looks like he was, there is some truth in his sarcasm. C’mon, both of you sound like very intelligent guys so I can’t believe you think game works 100% of the time, in all situations. Like everything else, it depends on the situation. The more the guy has to offer, the more chance it has of working. Therefore, an attractive guy for example, will be more successful at picking up than one that’s not. Additionally, the more open sexually a girl is, the more chance it has of working. Couple these two conditions together and you have a win win for both of them. As I said, it works in certain instances, not all. I think it’s a pretty reasonable and rational supposition. Now, if you add to this a very skillful guy, he might deliver even more.
Bottom line, I have no doubt that it works, but not always. But no big deal. When it doesn’t work, you just move on to the next one. No sense in attacking the girl. That’s all I was trying to say.
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naa it works every time
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ya really was being sarcastic though
i am prertty sure also that mystery being known was a draw chicks like that would know period aspiring model yea she knew.
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Haha, you might want to quit while you’re behind.
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so what dude flirts with you 7 times then you date 7 times then you fuck he still got it
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Height is an advantage when you fall into the normal range. Women love “normalcy.” Once you get above 6’3″ it can be a major debit.* I worked with a really tall guy and repeatedly heard women say how they felt uncomfortable. Mystery is freakishly tall, which means he’s almost as “abnormal” in women’s eyes as really short guys. Other men in this category include Howard Stern and Joey Ramone.
* This does not apply, obviously, to basketball groupies or black women, who studies have shown prefer brawn over brains.
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Very true. Very tall guys are very intimidating to women and after a certain height cease to be sexy to them. Ideal height is 5-10 to 6-2. Anything past that is too much for most ladies.
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I’ve always assumed a six-inch difference was optimal. This way every pot has its lid.
I’m 6’2″, and after I went out with a series of shorter and shorter girls, I finally hooked up with a pretty one who was only 5’0″. The height difference, fourteen inches, was so great that it felt almost pedophilic. Very uncomfortable. I also realized that I was depriving some teensy guy somewhere of an appropriately sized match.
So I announced to anybody with ears that I had instituted a new minimum height requirement of 5’8″. Which I got, exactly, in my wife a couple years later.
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It’s very nice to get what you want. Sadly, it doesn’t always work like that for most people. You’re lucky.
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Ya, I’m 5’10” and I don’t like girls who are below about 5’4″. Unless they’re total knockouts, mayyybe.
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Is there an optimal height range that most women think is a requirement for being attracted to a guy? Yes.
Are women able to ignore their supposed requirements and bang a guy who falls outside the optimal height range if he’s sufficiently charming and masculine? Yes.
THAT’S the point of Game. Try to keep up.
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The only girls I’ve found to like tall guys are the taller women. So they can wear heels and feel better about themselves.
Height has nothing to do with attractiveness to them. Your mindset is what counts.
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My woman is 5’1″, and even she likes tall men. At the very least, women prefer a man who is several inches taller than them. I’m 5’8″, which is fine when I’m in some parts of the world, but in the U.S., it means there are lots of girls who are taller than me. But I’m not into American girls anyway, so who cares?
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I’m a tall woman (5’9″) and always thought I’d marry a tall man, but my husband is barely an inch taller than me in bare feet. But he’s very strong and masculine, and manages to make me feel dainty and feminine in his arms and that’s all that matters.
So let’s all stop pretending like women’s stated height requirements are somehow immutable and set in stone. Masculinity, charm and confidence are what really matter. There are a huge number of game denialists here for being a game blog, jeez.
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This is one of those harsh truths people would rather not hear.
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As a girl, I say you’re spot on about male height. But listen to Anon, he has good advice on picking up “bitches.”
LOL, you guys are killing me with your expressions.
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‘Why’d you come to talk to me?’
‘You’re here.’
‘You seem… approachable’ – with the right mix of smug and snark, could work as a neg. Not tested.
I like to use multiple openers on girls one after another, when the girl is not giving me enough convo. This could be used for that. Eg, lull in convo, ‘You know why I stopped by? (pregant pause) proximity.
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‘You seem… approachable’
Be careful with this one. Could put up immediate anti-slut defense.
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Yeah, that is a potentially dangerous neg. I would say it with a smile rather than a smirk, so it sounds like you’re just saying she looks friendly (but still gets the hamster wheels spinning.)
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As previous commenter said before height is a definite advantage.
Do not expect to pick up a 5’11 girl if you are 5’5 and lack any other huge advantage (fame, money etc) no matter how awesome your game is.
However if you are taller than the girl than the game will be the real factor.
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Not true. I have a very short male friend (5’6″) who CLEANS UP with both shorter and taller women. But he’s a competitive rock climber with a chiseled physique, and he just acts as though height is a non-issue. I’m sure he’s been rejected for his height before, but it doesn’t phase him – and he does much better than taller guys with meek, beta attitudes.
It’s all about mindset. Sure you may not get AS MANY girls if you’re a short guy, but you’ll surely get MORE of them with smooth, confident game than you would acting nervous and apologetic about your height.
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Anyone have a good answer to the following, (when the two of you are hanging out together but she is playing hard to get) which I find both embarrasing and difficult to answer:
Her: What are you thinking?
and also in a most innocent voice
Her: Why are you touching me?
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Her: “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about the last girl I dumped for asking me shit like that all the time.”
Her: “Why are you touching me?”
“Well I was going to just slap you across the face with my cock, but I figured putting my arm around you would go over better…for now.”
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@YaReally
Thanks – good replies!
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“What are you thinking?”- Some random reply, I think CH once said, “a ham sandwich”
“Why are you touching me?”- “Why, don’t you like it?” If she says “no”, stop touching her.
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lol this is why guys shouldn’t listen to girls’ advice.
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Easy.
Her: Why did you come over to talk to me?
(NEG)
HIM: I’m warming up for when the pretty girls get here.
HIM: Sorry, I thought you were someone else . . . but it’s only you.
HIM: My friends said you were a royal bitch that no one would want to date, but I thought you looked like a nice enough girl. Which one is correct?
(POS)
HIM: Destiny just works like that sometimes.
HIM: Why would I want to talk to anyone else?
HIM: You didn’t look like the type of girl to come when I call you, and I find that intriguing.
Her: What are you thinking?
HIM: I’m deciding between spending the evening watching professional sports or spending it with your ass plastered to my face . . . which would you prefer?
Her: Why are you touching me?
HIM: It’s traditional, before you start ravaging someone. But if you just want to get naked and get to it right now, I’m willing to skip the foreplay.
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My favorite answer:
“I need a dollar for the vending machine. They won’t give me change here.”
Faux indignation follows.
“OK, fine I’ll share the Snickers if you spot me a buck.”
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You mean Skittles.
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[…] A Reply To A Common Shit Test « Chateau Heartiste […]
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“Why are you picking me up”
“to get my dick sucked”
“is that all you can talk about?”
“yea”
Talks about having my baby i’m like fuck no she gets mad
i’m not here to be stressed by you do uturn drop her ass back off at home
I’m like good luck
no plans on talking to her again
erase the phone shit
she calls next day
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What’s wrong with “because I like you”
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gay.
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+1
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I think that’s fine, too. Or, ” I think you’re cute.” He’d have to be pretty confident, though.
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Gay or beta. Or both. You have to start closing the moment you speak to her. “Because I like you” gives her far too much up front — you have to make them earn it.
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“Because it’s obvious that you like me” sounds better.
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Troll alert.
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Text exchange with girl I’m gaming
Me: Awesome fireworks.
Her: Where’d you watch them?
Me: My living room.
Her: And I didn’t even have a party.
Me: Yah. So lazy. Mix those martinis.
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HER: So why did you come over to talk to me?
HIM: I wanted to destroy something beautiful.
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what movie was that and good answer lol
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Fight Club. Hilarious to any guy in the know but you’d look like a psycho saying it.
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Fight Club. Personally a lot of quotes from that movie are gold.
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oh yea he he he
i was just looking for that on netflix yesterday figured watch it again i guess pick it up at walmart
yea dude they are
especially things that you own end up owning you
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May I also have a response to girl (I knew) walking up to me in company and announcing:
“I am NEVER going to sleep with you” – not that I had suggested doing so, although hope springs eternal.
I should have replied “That’s because you could never afford me”, but I was so gobsmacked I failed to think of it at the time.
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Her: I”m never going to sleep with you.
You: That’s a relief.
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“I am NEVER going to sleep with you”
Don’t worry, you won’t get any sleep!
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lol, cool idea! 😀
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How about, “Okay, if you say so.”
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@lara
Close. In fact my reply was, ‘I know’ for she had been telling everyone else (before me) which is how I came to learn of what I would not be doing and was thus able to act nonchalant, as if this were the most normal and boring statement in the world.
I assume it was a fitness test, but then maybe she is just crazy, for who announces that they will not sleep with someone, when that would be true of 99.9999% of all people. Seems like some bizarre form of cuckolding to me because the said woman is seriously slutty – trying to raise her SMV or MMV by announcing (publicly) her virginity status in relation to someone worth sleeping with (i.e. me). What do you think?
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thats right your the crazy bitch on only suck my dick rotation.
he he he
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A few years ago, a girl I was getting friendly with told me, out of the blue, that she wasn’t going to sleep with me (FWIW, she knew my wife). I said, “well no, not tonight, ’cause I gotta be somewhere.” I smacked her on the ass, told her she had a great ass, and said goodbye, because I really did have to run off. Nothing did come of that, but she was clearly ripe for my plundering. She was a co-worker, so it’s probably for the best.
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Look of shock and surprise: “My God, is the line that long today?”
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“I am NEVER going to sleep with you.”
Because you want to save me from Herpes?
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Her: “I’m NEVER going to sleep with you!”
You: “I don’t mind driving home at 3:00am.”
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No words needed. Start with a chuckle and break into maniacal laughter. Straight up Dr. Evil style until she gets the hint.
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“Why, because you’re afraid you might fall in love?” Smirk. Wink. Turn back to your previous conversation.
P.S. NO girl would say that in public unless she was already thinking of sleeping with you.
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I always love that scene that was once analyzed here of Javier Bardem walking over to Scarlet Johannson in Vicky Cristina.
Her; So why did you walk over here to talk to me?
Me: Looks at her slowly, smiles laconically, “American?”
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seriously though chick yesterday begging to get on my dick
me no
begging
no
starts ripping her clothes off come on
no
tear in eye please can we fuck
no
puking sucking my dick
come on let me ride it
no
temper tantrum
no
just suck my dick bitch
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i’m laughing my ass off reading that shit cause it really happened i mean what the fucking christ dude.
she puked multiple times like come on i’m puking let me ride it
good thing woman not stronger than men or yea there would def be a lot of woman raping dudes
i got a tear in my eye now too funny too crazy what the hell
my reality is insane
just like i want to die ho like you have a beautiful wife that loves you
I know right jesus
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she finally gave up and sucked me off he he he
hahahahahahahhahahaa
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hard to make a scenerio work with a chick you care about though cause norm i would let em on my dick
since high school even, been certain chicks i just won’t fuck no matter how much they beg
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same with a chick asking me to eat her out
no
why not
only do it when i marry a chick
whaa
but you still want me to suck your dick
yea so
its the same
no its not
people want more what they can’t have he he he
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course chick just wanted to go back and tell other chick i fucked her to fuck with other chick
i didn’t give her the satisfaction
she will tell her she rode my dick but it won’t be true lolzzzzz
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A little too “false-disqualifier-I’m-so-fucking-cool” for my style. If I’m hitting on a girl, I’m not going to pretend that I’m not.
I’d have gone with “Well, I did consider shouting across the room, but this seemed easier”
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a long pause is the main tool of condescending game
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Her: why did you come over to talk to me?
Me: there were some extra words in your sentence … not sure what you meant by ‘to talk to’ …
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Mystery seems like a cool guy … Does anyone know, is he married now and he has a daughter, right?
His internet game is of course ten thousand times worse than Heartiste’s. I find it ridiculous when he calls himself a ‘cultural icon’ and just the fact that he’s selling some PUA material is repulsive. CH is probably the only successful PUA who hasn’t sold himself like that … Instead, he has a cool ‘donate’ button which is totally amazing. I love you CH ❤ ***you are the best ❤ xoxo
[heartiste: good lord, woman, get a hold of yourself. not there.]
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I couldn’t resist. Sorry. ❤
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she not even talking and mystery says she talks too much and she acts insulted and looms over him lol
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but really though to get an aspiring actress when you are in show biz yea its prob gonna happen a lot
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omg, guys, you can talk to Mystery for $500 per hour … http://askmystery.com/one-hour-mystery-skype-session/
[heartiste: in an abstract universe, mystery overcharges for his goods. but we don’t live in that universe. we live in the real world where people can charge what their customers are willing to pay.]
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But you can call CH for free 🙂
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At least I can. He’s not complaining 🙂
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And we’re not just talking …
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I’ve missed you, Maya. How’ve you been? 🙂
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Hi 🙂 I feel fantastic, thanks. What about you?
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Great, but why the name change? Did you get banneded in between all your sexy Skype sessions with CH?
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haha, no, he likes to call me with different names during our sexy skype sessions 🙂 He really liked Kristen so I changed my name.
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I KNEW heartiste had a thing for Kristen Stewart! Thanks for confirming. 😀
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I KNEW he had a thing for Kristen Stewart! Thanks for confirming. 😀
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Also you seem much less depressed and bitter than you did before. Are the rumors true (that you developed a split personality and “Kristen” became your happy side and “NiteLily” your angry side)? Your fans want to know!
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llooozzzlllloooollll
$500 buys a lot of duct tape and parachute cord… which would probably work a lot better for those who would spend it in either manner.
/jes’ sayin’.
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kind of like fucking strippers when you no longer look like an innocent young guy they don’t want to ruin less resistance
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As much as i respect Mystery, it surprises me how even after all of those years going out and doing his thing, that he still goes around running canned lines on girls. Surely, he should be a natural by now.
[heartiste: why fix it if it isn’t broken?]
I’ve been doing this for 5 years and i figured out within the first 3 years that it’s all about learning the dynamics of being a dominant man. A man is above woman (Masculine) and a woman is below (Feminine).
[true dat.]
The higher perceived value a woman thinks she has, the more you need to make her realise that you’re better than her as a man. So this means, being an authority, leading, putting her in her place, teasing, having a strong frame and being aloof.
[women will never get this. they are constitutionally incapable of getting this.]
You develop this with experience without having to say anything.
[i suspect mystery leans on canned material for his filmed pickups as a graspable learning tool for newbs. in his private pickups, i bet he’s lower key and relies more on body language and ad libbing.]
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“[i suspect mystery leans on canned material for his filmed pickups as a graspable learning tool for newbs. in his private pickups, i bet he’s lower key and relies more on body language and ad libbing.]”
This is the case for most pro PUA instructors. Cajun admitted the same thing about his Keys to the VIP appearance…he was there to demonstrate/advertise the LoveSystems curriculum not just get laid.
Instructors will still follow the system/concepts but they go out multiple nights a week all year long, they’ve developed their own personalized material. The RSD guys, especially Tyler, are actually pretty good about discussing their latest personal techniques that they’re messing with. Tyler gets excited enough to talk about them while he’s still testing them lol like when he spent some time attempting to go from meet to makeout/lay without saying any words at all. That’s not something you can teach a hardcore awkward nervous newbie. Try it sometime if you’re intermediate/advanced though.
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make out for 5-10 minutes, make sure you are seated back against a couch, pull her on top of you (whilst making out). stand up with her arms around your neck, legs around your waist (you do squats right?), and carry her to the bedroom. she might say “oh you think were going to have sex huh?” or “i guess were having sex now” dont say anything just throw her down and start taking off your clothes. shell start taking off hers, and that’s that.
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Again, we find another comment, not yours ya really, indicating the guy hasn’t read the Mystery Method. Mystery stated that you have to come up with your own grifts in time to be congruent. It’s like dating game also. You just have a method to your madness that moves things along. You design it.
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Simple really… All you have to do ask them all the following question – “Do you prefer to be with a man better or worse than you”
Then sit back and watch the hamster in their little heads freak out by that question
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dam where was that clip about the black teenageers refusing to leave someones store
i’m always right
only way to deal with them gonna be extermination
black people don’t get it
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need what 10 guys in every city to take care of the problem
then major cities a few more and just let the police sit back and chill like they did in la riots
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dude asleep in his store in my town got robbed.
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course the problem could be solved pretty quick too by taking drug dealers and people who rob people and people addicted to drugs out back like other countries and putting them in front of a fireing squad would also prob clean it up pretty quick
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I’ve probably approached over 5000 girls at bars throughout my life, and I have been asked this question 1-3 times total. A “very common” question? Stuff like this makes me skeptical that these people actually do cold approaches.
[heartiste: 5,000 eh? troll math, ftw!]
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A guy who calls himself Sally hasn’t approached shit.
Most probably a chick, how’s your PMS doing?
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5000 is a rough estimate. That’s why I wrote ‘probably’. Not trying to troll you, but I have read every post for over a year on your blog and this inspired my first comment. My point still stands – calling this response ‘very common’ makes me skeptical that the people writing these posts actually do cold approaches.
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“Convenience” or “You were closest.” are not substitutes for “proximity” as I read it. If he “came over” to talk to her, she wasn’t close by. It sounds like he approached her from some distance and he’s telling her he wants to get closer to her. Its amusing to me that he would speak to women using pick up terms that they likely won’t get. He answered her like he would a guy he was teaching on a bootcamp.
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Correct. The more ambiguity, the more effect. The PUA waits for the reaction and gets a scope on what her state of mind is.
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Nice…short, sweet, simple. I’ll remember that one.
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“Boredom” works for me. Followed by entertain me woman.
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What I love about Mystery Method so much is it involves approaching groups instead of what you get most of the time with PUAs where you are approaching only lone girls. I like the “Is she always like this?” neg.
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[…] Heartiste – Reply To A Common Shit Test, Penis Size Around The World, The Dark Romance Genre, How To Remain Unflustered. . ., The Problem […]
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Posting this as a heads up…
I ordered the Pickup Artist DVD set from Mystery’s new site.
What I received was a collection of burnt DVDs, with the first one not even playable.
It’s a shame as I really liked the show.
Buyer beware.
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