How To Remain Unflustered Like An Alpha Male

Girls wil test, tease and taunt. This is the female mating modus operandi, and it exists because women need a convenient system for screening alpha males from beta males, for whom male looks aren’t enough information for women to go on.

The screening system is fairly ingenious and effective, because in the pressure cooker of face-to-face interaction, alpha males do tend to be the men who can either roll with the girly blows or parry them with maximum seductiveness. Beta males tend to be the men who react defensively, apologetically or feebly. Hotheads react butthurtly.

There is no end to the ways in which being an alpha male is better than being a beta male. So it would make sense to learn how to respond to female testing, teasing and taunting like an alpha male. In practice, this means you are going to have to be a lot less reactive and emotionally susceptible than you currently are, because alpha males all share, to a greater or lesser degree, a facility with well-timed and smoothly executed stoicism. Grace under pressure, if you will.

With that in mind, here are some actions and lines you can use when a woman has challenged you (and revealed her blossoming attraction for you). These are very generalizable responses, because they are meant to be that way. It almost doesn’t matter what kind of test the girl throws in your face; any of these cool hand alpha responses will boost your status, and hence your attractiveness, to her. These tactics aren’t meant to be the height of wit either, so you won’t fear stumbling over your words at the critical moment. They are, before anything else, responses that raise your relative status by influencing women’s perception of you. You have to be a bit of an actor to pull some of these off, but seduction is, in its essence, the art of acting.

The key to many of these is a bemused or neutral facial expression. Body language should be slow and deliberate, bordering on instilling discomfort in your female company. A drink helps here because you can telegraph deliberateness with subtle movements, such as slowly lifting a glass to your mouth to take a sip before replying to a girl. You are nonreactive. If it helps, imagine yourself as D. Draper. (Not Jon Hamm, who is a PC pussy in real life.)

– Arch eyebrows. Stare at her for three seconds. Look away.

– Look her over with neutral expression, draw in lips, slowly nod head, and exhale “yeeeeeeeahhh…..”

– Sarcastically, “Wow, so cold, so cold. mmhmmm.”

– “Goooooddamnit.” [act disappointed, shake head, frown] “I thought you were different.”

– “Hmm,” [pause pause pause] “you’re off to a good start, I see.”

– “Just what I needed tonight.” Smirk a little here. “A ballbuster.”

– Stare, cock head, blank face. “Charming.”

– “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

– Smile broadly and phonily. “All right! This is fun!” Raise your glass to her, like a toast.

– “I thought I was the biggest bitch here.” [to be used sparingly on especially hot women with serious bitch complexes]

– Exhale loudly and slowly. Put your drink on the bar. Turn to face her. Relax arms and clasp your hands together. Brighten your face like a CareBear. “Well. You really know how to win a gentleman over.”

– “Your games are for children.”

– Straight face, “I’m glad I got to know you.” Excuse yourself politely from her company.

– “I bet you say that to all the men who secretly make you a little nervous. Like a schoolgirl.”

– Furrow your brow, cock head, like your examining a zit on her face. “You’re…. weirdly fascinating.”

– “Thanks for not making this too easy/polite/friendly.”

– “It’s a good thing I met you. Nice girls bore me.” (“Normal girls bore me”, if you want to say something edgier.)

– “I’ve got a question.” Look at her, then look at your hand, tap the table or bar (or a herb’s forehead) with your fingers for a few seconds, stop tapping, look back at her. “Does this normally work for you?”

– “Well.” Raise your glass to her. Smile. Nod in appreciation. “Just what I expected.”

– “I’ve heard about girls like you.” Wait for a reply. “Nothing good, I’m afraid.”

– “C+.” She will ask what you’re talking about. “You’re flirting skills. Not bad, room for improvement if you apply yourself.”

– Make a fake pained expression. Breathe in through your teeth. Squint. Put a hand to your forehead like you have a headache, or to your chest like you have heart pains. “You wound me, deeply.” Immediately after saying that, assume your unaffected poker face. “Cheers.”

– Appear befuddled. “Your question seems silly to me.”

– “I’ve gotta hand it to you. I was expecting a sane, boring girl.”

– “Nevermind.”

– “Hold that thought.” Drink, talk to the bartender or a friend, or just stare at the wall. She will expect you to return to the conversation. You won’t.

– Duct tape her mouth. “That’s better.”

One of the above is a joke.

Bonus alpha maneuver!

Stick your fingers in your ears. “I can’t hear you.” If she doesn’t laugh, I’ll refund your boot camp money.