Reader Mailbag: Abandonment Protocol Edition

Email #1

A father seeks advice on how to helpfully navigate his daughter past badboy shoals:

My daughter has just turned 16 and has a throng of suitors persuing her (she’s easily a high 8, inherited the best feminine mix of traits from a Chinese mother & white father). However, I have no illusions about the id that lurks within her & it’s susceptibility to aloof assholes.

My question is what can I do as a father to reduce the risk of having some smirking lowlife with tight game (Like Josh Camacho from the latest ‘Chicks Dig Jerks’) ruining my daughter for a legitimately high-status husband or having his bastard whelp become my grandchild.

One word: belittle.

Remember, you are still the ultimate alpha male in her life. The pinnacle of authority. Does the ultimate alpha sweat challenges from upstart alphalings? No. He laughs them off. If you get to feeling that she’s drifting into a crowd of jerks and nah boys, you react like you would if you were her alpha male boyfriend: tease her for her childish taste in men. Tell her, “I think that boy (always use the term “boy”) with the dorky tattoo has a puppy crush on you. He gets so tongue-tied around you. Maybe you can teach him how to speak like an adult?”

If the wigger tool ever winds up at your house, that is your opportunity to humiliate him in front of your daughter with extreme prejudice. You want to plant the seed in your daughter’s head that her asshole suitor is lame, nerdy, stupid, humorless, immature, gullible and, most disparaging, cowardly. She won’t appreciate your intervention, but, like a toddler hearing a new word and repeating it days later after it has sunk in, the slanderous seed will have germinated in her brain and poisoned her puerile love for the prick, eventually driving a hypergamously-lubed wedge between them.

I understand your fear, though, because a daughter succumbing to a worthless layabout’s charms is just about a father’s worst nightmare come true.

My advice to would-be fathers: pray you have all sons. That way if they get their fuck on, you will feel proud instead of panicked.

Email #2

A reader requests break-up advice:

Do you have any suggestions for breaking up with a girlfriend that give you the upper-hand but without being too hurtful to her?

She is of almost a year, a nice girl and pretty sensitive. There’s probably no easy way to do it, but don’t want a rep as a cheater or anything like that. (I’ve already cheated on her anyways but don’t want to be known as that)

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. thanks

It’s (almost) impossible to both initiate a painless break up with a girl and retain the upper hand, if by “upper hand” we mean awesome alpha maleness. As long as she doesn’t want the break-up, she will be hurt, no matter how delicately you deliver the news. The only surefire method for breaking up with a girl that leaves her feeling relieved rather than hurt is to go Full Metal Beta over the course of a few months, until she’s sick of your mewling.

Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: [sniffing] Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE BOYFRIEND?
You: Ma,am, a scented poem, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: A scented poem?
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: How did it get here?
You: Ma’am, I wrote it for you and watermarked it with my tears of joy.
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Is a scented poem supposed to make me feel better?
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Are you thinking I want to have sex with you because of this scented poem?
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: And why, Private Boyfriend?
You: Ma’am, because it’s proof that you are my world, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Because you are a disgusting cloying beta, Private Boyfriend, I DO NOT want to have sex with you!
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Then why did you try to write this poem for me, Private Boyfriend?
You: Ma’am, because I was seeking your approval, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Because you were seeking my approval… [grabs her phone to show Private Boyfriend all the texts from aspiring suitors]
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Private Boyfriend, you have dishonored yourself and dishonored the male gender. I have tried to drop hints. But I have failed. I have failed because you suddenly decided that supplicating betatude is what I needed, despite all fucking evidence to the contrary. So, from now on, as a show of proof that your way is the way of failure, I want you to read this text conversation I had last night with a man who understands me the way you used to. Notice the part where I thank him for letting me puff on his peter. [shoves phone in Private Boyfriend’s face]
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Are you feeling ill yet?
You: Ma’am, does this mean we’re broken up, ma’am?
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: You’re goddamned right this means we’re broken up, maggot!
You: [phew]

This will work, but you sure won’t feel like you left with the upper hand. My suggestion, if you want to dump her using less manipulative tactics while sparing her feelings as best you can, is to tell her that, although you love her in many ways, you never got over your ex-girlfriend, and you recently met her and fell in love again. For whatever reason, girls are more forgiving of rifts caused by the return of an old love you have nursed for years. It hits their romance buttons.

Or just announce that you’re gay.

Email #3

A college student wants to know why the sex is drying up:

I’m a Senior college student who has been in a great relationship for 9 months.  The past two months my gf has often not been in the mood.  What do i do? getting denied drives me crazy

1. She’s recently gotten in touch with an ex-boyfriend she still likes.

2. She recently met, however innocently, an alpha male who pushed all her buttons.

3. You’re turning Betanese.

4. Some combination of all the above.

Without more info, I can’t tell you which of those explanations is relevant in your case, but the cause of her sexual withdrawal is most likely one of those reasons. My advice: Begin abandonment protocol. Women value men who are mysterious and scarce; your job is to give her that little reminder that you can’t be taken for granted. A calculated disappearing act should do the trick. Double down by being seen by her in the company of other women.

Whatever you do, DO NOT beg for sex, in any manner. Sticking around like an underfed puppy dog waiting on table scraps is a guaranteed way to reduce your attractiveness to zero.

Email #4

Somewhat long-ish reader request to analyze his game:

I went to a bar I never go to in order to see a band I really like tonight. I had a great time, and afterward I was busy talking to a friend and he encouraged me to go talk to some girls. I was drunk, so I felt more confident than usual, but I still couldn’t bring myself to do it since I’m so inexperienced at cold approaches.

Then a girl I haven’t seen much of since high school came up to me. She’s very attractive and thus is very used to guys hitting on her, so I knew if I was going to make it happen I would need tight game. We talked for a few moments, I initiated some physical contact and then I let her wander off to see her friends. My friend gave me a pep talk to go back after it. After getting my mind in the right place and ordering another drink, I wandered upstairs to see if I could locate her.

I went onto the balcony and she was in a large group comprising mostly people I know from high school but haven’t seen in a while. They invited me to join the group. I was a loser in high school, but I feel that I did very well tonight putting up the image that I’m confident and secure in myself. It was probably the alcohol, but it taught me how I should be most of the time.

I was in the group for a while and engaged the different girls individually, knocking each off their pedestal and emitting an aura of dominance. These are the girls that require negs, and I made effective use of them. I was on my game for 95% of the night, but I might have screwed up in the end by showing too much interest in the girl I’m after. To be fair, this is a high-quality girl that requires a flawless performance, and I feel like I would have definitely been successful if it had been someone of lower quality. I was feeling it tonight, but I might have screwed up a bit. I’m inexperienced at this sort of thing but I would have never imagined that I would have been as confident as I was. Regardless of how this situation works out, it’s a building block for my game.

Toward the end, when the girls said they were going to another bar, I attempted to stop the girl I’m after. Since our high school isn’t too far away from where we now attend college and she generally attends high school football games and such since her mother teaches there, I asked her if she’d be at homecoming next weekend (we’ve been out for three years now — we’re both 21). She said she thought it was last week (a definite lie) and started to walk off and said that she would come back to this bar later. I told her to “wait just a goddamn minute” and stomped out my cigarette and followed the group inside. I tapped her on the head from behind but she ignored me.

Her (smoking hot) friend stayed behind as they walked off and engaged me. Conversation goes as follows (using a neg I pulled from a PUA site, possible this one but I can’t remember):

Me: “Is she always like this?”
Her: “What’s she being like?”
Me: “Well, she’s kind of being a bitch. Tell her that it’s not too late to enroll in charm school. I hear that’s making a big comeback.”

Her group left, and I promptly bounced instead of waiting around to see if they’d come back. I have a feeling that they didn’t, and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to be the chump that sat around waiting or followed them to the other bar. I got in my car and drove off.

So, how should I proceed from here? I’m hoping her friend gave her my message. I usually don’t get too much into PUA philosophy but it was needed here as I was punching way above my weight. All in all, even if I did fuck up, I did way better than I could have imagined.

I know that it’s preached in PUA circles that if you need advice on how to pursue a girl that you won’t get her, but I’m going to try to play this one out to the end. Can I salvage this?

Don’t depend on a girl’s friends to “deliver” your tight game her. She has to be there in your company, hearing you spit it. If anything, calling her a bitch to her friend is going to make you look weak and insecure as it winds its way through the female grapevine, which is, as if it needed saying, utterly out of your control to influence as an outsider to the group.

I don’t know if it’s salvageable with the girl you really want, but her lying about not knowing the date of the homecoming tells me that she probably thought you were trying to slyly insinuate yourself into her homecoming plans. I don’t think it looks good, because I’m not seeing any signals of interest from her in your retelling of the night’s events. You should mack her friend, instead.

Email #5

A reader asks:

Would definitely appreciate your thoughts or a post on good/funny lines to reopen texting that dies down. Have a great weekend.

Non sequitur game.

Email #6

A reader wants to know where he dropped the balls:

Hey, I love your website and I have learned a great deal from you. Can you give me your input on something? I’m very confused. I’ll try and keep it short.

I’ve been hanging out with this girl about once every other week for a couple months. We have slept in the same bed multiple times (no sex…every time I go for her pussy, she pushes my hand away.) we have made out, spooned, messed around, pretty much everything except sex.

She invited me over and she cooked dinner for me a little over a week ago and we always split the bill when we go out.

At dinner she told me she gave her ex a second chance, but he never changed and is the same person so she is done for good with him. And she went to the fair with some guy that puked on the ride with her, and she has been ignoring him since Then she asks me if I have met any cute girls lately (shit test?).

I texted her Sunday night and she never replied. I haven’t talked to her since she made me dinner over a week ago.

When I first met her I was a huge dick to her, buying everyone drinks except her, etc. She was really into me. But I have started being nicer to her lately and I think that is why she is losing attraction for me. Her last Facebook status said “It seems that I have a thing for men who are from Scotland, Ireland, and London… Maybe I wasn’t meant to live in the U.S. because I can’t seem to find a guy that compares to men from Europe.”  Her ex is Scottish.

Tell me where I went wrong here, was it because I turned down the asshole vibe?

You, sir, are a train wreck, and your spilled cargo is a debris field of beta. First, NEVER platonically sleep in the same bed with a girl you desire. The bed is sacred. The bed is enthroned. The bed is where your kingship is ratified. The bed is where the penis meets the vagina. Or at least some orifice that is a reasonable facsimile of the vagina.

Multiple times you have lain next to her in bed, your balls filled with unexpectorated sperms? Multiple times she has pushed your hand away, taunting you like a cat might paw at an injured mouse before delivering the killing bite? On top of all this slander to your manhood, she casually regales you over dinner with tales of the ex-boyfriend she obviously still loves? (Don’t let her precise words to the contrary fool you; a woman who mentions an old lover out of the blue still pines for him.) And finally, the shiv strikes soft underbelly when she asks if you’ve found yourself a nice girl.

Can’t you see what’s going on here? I’ll just cut to the chase. You are the classic betaboy emotional tampon. An asexual lump who listens like a champ, restrains his sexual urges with stoic mastery, and feeds her need for self-esteem.

She has never “seen you that way”. Something happened over that last dinner that scared her away. Probably you said something which revealed a hint of your animal desire for her, something which crossed the invisible line demarcating the friendship zone she thought was operational, that jolted her comfy world where the two of you are cute little cartoon friends without sexual organs who talk girl stuff all the day and night, and with whom she can unload her issues she has with jerks who know how to make her pussy quake.

My final judgment: lost cause. Excise her from your life like she’s a tumor, because that’s exactly what she is, an emotional tumor sucking nutrients from the manlier portions of your viscera. Yes, you most likely blew it when you turned to the Nice Side, somewhere between the time you stopped gunning for her pussy to instead “hang out” in perpetuity, and the time you voluntarily bedded with her without the usual payoff that most men expect from such intimate arrangement. Accompany an alpha male friend to hit on girls, to help get your head screwed on right.