Girls Love Onomatopoeia

I’ve long peppered my emails and texts and IMs with onomatopoeia — words that sound like the thing or abstraction they are describing. I drop them in conversation, too. I do this because I’ve discovered that it’s an excellent way to screen out stuck-up, prudish girls who don’t know how to have fun. Girls who dig banter about subjects other than name, rank and serial number LOVE LOVE LOVE men who can nimbly weave child-like blurts into serious adult conversation. The “sounding words” are very sensuous on the ears, and that probably accounts for their appeal to women. Using them is a step toward speaking the language of women.

(And, yes, MGTOWs, it’s horribly “unfair” that men have to go out of their way to speak the language of women but women don’t have to speak the language of men. Unfairness and lopsided, up-front investment is inherent in an evolved mating system where the reproductive machinery of women is worth more than that of men. But I profess.)

Interestingly, I see I’m not the only one to pick up on this peculiarity of female auditory preference. A reader comments:

Off topic, I ran some ‘your mom!’ game tonight. ( I mean seriously, ‘your mom game’… are the possibilities not boundless?

Solid 8 blonde cutey, my neighbor, so basically i’ve seen her naked. She had a boyfriend for a while, single as of monday. little whatever texts, haven’t had contact in a month.

It’s not reached a conclusion, I guess i just think it’s a decent way to open up younger girls. i’m 37, she’s 24. i pass for 28-30 though, that helps because i primarily only game younger women.

Me 7:58: your mom!

Court 7:59: what? Ha are you drunk neighbor!

Me 7:59: your moms drunk!

Me: 8:00: but that wasn’t for you. bonk

(for some reason texting sounds has been surprisngly useful. bonk, boink, derp, boom. See: younger girls)

Court 8:00: didn’t actually think so

Me: but your mom is dunk, prolly

Court 8:03: ha umm no shes not!

Me 8:09: its all good court. we all have drunk moms.. its the new drunk dads

court 8:10: bahahaha Kkkkk

end.

i dunno. drunk dad your mom game

Younger women are, of course, more fun-loving than older women. You’d be too if your body looked its best, you felt energized all the time, men of all ages checked you out, and the icy breath of Father Time wasn’t breathing down your neck (or squeezing your uterus in a vise). But I molest.

The reader above used a version of non sequitur text game, a CH patented technique that is LIT’RULLY guaranteed to provoke a reply from a girl. When she replies with the expected challenge, feminine dare or snarky attitude, try punctuating your follow-up with a whoosh, derp, nofap, or wheeee giggly giggle shoe shopping!#$!!#$#!!. It’s unpredictable, it’s immature, and it’s transparently patronizing. That last part is important, because a patronized girl is a girl whose self-perceived value has been deliriously, enticingly nicked.

I wonder if girls are in general becoming more responsive to goofy, glib texts from men. If true, it may signal a subtle cultural shift that girls are also becoming more fun-loving and less guarded. Or that they’re so fed up with being the breadwinner they appreciate men who can zoom them away from their dreary cubicle farm lives.