Straw Game

Commenter John writes:

My friend bought a pack of really long straws, each straw is about 2 feet long. Go to the bar, bring a straw, and just put it in girls drinks from a slight distance and start drinking them. If they ask what youre doing just say “killing it”

You might get a few pissed off girls, but overall this technique is fucking hilarious and works.

Haha. Good stuff. And why is this good stuff? Because you just know the hottest girls will be the ones to fall hardest for this mischief-maker game.

Girls love fun. They love men who invite fun to their dreary lives. They especially love the kind of fun that skirts the line of socially acceptable behavior.

Fun, of course, is inherently fun. And since adult single women are closer in brain functioning to girl children than they are to adult men, the fun that men can supply is like a drug to single women, harkening back to a time of innocence and carefree recklessness, except with orgasms added to the mix. (Older women and married women with children have had the fun-appreciating parts of their brains crowded out by the dull maturity parts, but luckily for us we aren’t interested in sex with those women so their wants and needs are unimportant.)

But there is another reason why chicks dig fun-loving men: the man who is fun demonstrates through his rebellious actions a lack of concern for the demure approval of the women around him. To make fun is to say, “I don’t care about princess pedestals. This girl is getting down in the muck with me. She will either laugh and get with my program, or she will be branded a boring lump on a log.”

Girls can sense the minutest indications that they are being judged, which they love very much. Mischief at their expense is a form of judging them for their ability to chill out and go with the flow.

The man who can deliver fun without self-doubt, without apology, without obvious need for audience applause, and with a sparkle of subtle judgementalism, is displaying MASTERY of his EMOTIONAL ENVIRONMENT. When you are all about MEE, you are more attractive to women. Your state control is exhibited in all its powerful allure. You have proven mastery over your environment, over the emotional feedback of beautiful women, and, most crucially, over your own emotions.

And you have come off a little bit like a jerk, which is the attitude chicks dig.

Now ask yourself, when was the last time you saw a beta male slip a long straw into a cute girl’s drink, and start up a beeyootiful romance with her? That’s right, never. So why would you ever want to be a beta male? Oh, yes, marriage to a past-prime careerist, ingrate kids, your life mortgaged to the hilt. Sounds… fun.