A dumpling faced feminist-slash-slam poetess made a video about the horrible, terrible, no good culture of beauty that oppresses women and keeps them from realizing their dreams of being ugly rocket scientists that men love so much. Watch it here.
It has 1.7 million views and 17,000 likes. The platitude pushers will not want for addicts any time soon.
Did you know CH was once a slam poetry hero? Yes, it’s true. The spirit of syncopated sulky syllable slamming once moved yer ‘umble host to heights of grandiose on-stage spasming. Chicks loved it. Hipster doofuses wished they could capture a rhythmic beat of Heartiste magic, so that they may slay their own snapperdragons.
Good news! Recently unearthed from the underworld slam poetry archives is rare video footage of one of CH’s charmed apprentices performing a satire of the droopy-eyed feminist’s battle cry to wage war against mascara and the cruel judgment of looks-ism. To fully appreciate the (he)artistry, watch the above video before watching the following. (Give the video a few minutes to buffer.)