A reader asks for advice about how to handle a girl clowning around on Tinder, the stripped-down eugenics website that features photos and “likes” and not much more.
On Tinder, this hot, kinda snobby-seeming 27yo (I’m 28) chick’s info is:
“Not interested in love but if you want to sell or buy apartment… I can be your tinder gal :)”
We match up, I wait/forget a couple days and message:
“So wait, you sell only apt’s to guys you think are cute?”
Her 15mins later (2:30 today):
“Ha it’s a joke but w truth, not on this thing to find men so might as well make it a business transaction.”Now I want to bust on her for this (b/c it strikes me as ridiculous, and is my honest reaction), but maybe not?
I do pretty well generally (I was like a 17 on that alpha test thing), but this has me unsure as to how to proceed.
Thoughts appreciated. This literally just happened 15mins ago.
Your first reply to her was good. Part teasing, part assuming the sale. Now look at her next reply:
“Ha it’s a joke but w truth”
This chick is on there to meet men, but she’s embarrassed about it and doesn’t have high expectations, so she clowns around to provide herself plausible deniability. If she were really a professional realtor, would she open a Tinder account and write idiotic copy that makes her sound like the last realtor in the world with whom you’d want to do business? Maybe she would. Scouts tell me America the Babel-full teems with so many idiots one would wonder how the whole enterprise manages to function.
“not on this thing to find men so might as well make it a business transaction.”
Did somebody say…
?
Bust on her. Go all in on assuming the sale. Examples:
“If you wanted to meet me, you didn’t have to violate Tinder’s terms of service.”
“Tell you what. I’ll buy your apt if you buy me a drink.” (Obviously, you are not buying her apt.)
“‘business transaction’ gotcha. Hate to tell you, but I’m not that kinda guy.”
“It’s always about transactions with you girls. I can only love so much.”
Or, tease her hard:
“You’re a dude, I bet.”
“Your business model needs work. Show more skin.”
“Apt for sex. I don’t consort with hookers.” (100% chance she’ll qualify herself)
“this works for you?”
“men fall for this?”
Finally, you could just blow her off:
“good luck”
“gay”
“lame”
“i prefer doing business with a more experienced realtor.”
Let us know how you proceed(ed). The readership will be interested in the most effectively tailored response should similar situations arise for them.
Holy fuck, Heartiste, why’d you have to twitter-link that Duchess of Alba story? MY EYES!!!
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Not a wrinkle on her youthful face!
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More like Duchess of Alpo.
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I LOL’d
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hhehe
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lzzooz PAGING GBFM!!!!! GBFM PAGING GBFM!!
here i am GBFM!!
oh there you are!!
what do you want GBFM?
make sosmez funniez duh!!!!
lzozozo OK GBFM 4u!!!
–what it is like in da GBFMZ head all day long lzozoozooz
On Tinder, this hot, kinda snobby-seeming 27yo (I’m 28) chick’s info is:
“Not interested in love but if you want to sell or buy butthext… I can be your tinder gal “
We match up, I wait/forget a couple days and message:
“So wait, you sell only butthext to guys you think are cute?”
Her 15mins later (2:30 today):
“Ha it’s a joke but w truth, not on this thing to find men so might as well make it a nbuttehxtual business transaction.”
Now I want to bust on her for this (b/c it strikes me as ridiculous, and is my honest reaction), but maybe not?
I do pretty well generally (I was like a 17 on that alpha test thing), but this has me unsure as to how to proceed.
Thoughts appreciated. This literally just happened 15mins ago.
“I would like to cum on your apartement’z face lzozlzozozozozozozoz.”
“Isn’t womenz’ lib great? Now they can be business maverickz and not rely on their looks for moneyz $$$$ lzzozozoz”
“Does your apratment have a back door that swings both waysz?lzozooz”
“Cool–I sell entire apartment complexes with photos of my lostsas cockasz. just gotta run it throug the right instagram filterz zlzooooz”
“text me a photo of yur gina and i will put a creamy security deposit in it when we meet.”
lzozolzlzozlzozlzozzlzozlzoz
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Still orders-of-magnitude funnier than anything the tiresome King A has ever written.
GBFM 4 PREZ!
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^^^ THIS ^^^
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Now you stop that.
Here I was, fixing to continue hating your dreary, pedantic, self-promoting snob-narcisstry, and…
-Wait a sec, this has Got be a poseur.
The real King A could never have an actual sense of humor.
He would never take himself 1 whit less than seriously,
and every reply would be a combo-pack: Charles Emerson Winchester III + bargain-basement Emmanuel Kant + a pissed-off James May trying desperately to explain the Bernoulli Principle, Paradise Lost and 18th century French porn in less than 47,000 words and failing.
Harumph! …I am disappoint; -son.
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Umm…Matt posts some of the most hilarious comments. #keephatingthough
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I am so stealing “Does your apratment have a back door that swings both waysz?lzozooz”
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“text me a photo of yur gina and i will put a creamy security deposit in it when we meet.”
Lmao!!! *rolls on floor, lies on stomach and knocks clenched fists on floor*…I can’t lolzzzz
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Never even heard of that site, looks like a typical girls get 500 invites, and 5 guys clean up kind of site.
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That’s exactly what Tinder is.
Almost every dude is clicking “yes” to 90% + of the women, while most women are clicking yes on 5 % – 30 % of men.
And, of course, unless the woman is heinously fat or ugly, when she clicks yes, it instantly tells her that the guy has already clicked like on her
Basically, it’s eye candy for most dudes who will not get anything decent from it, ego validation for chicks, and many chicks competing for alpha time.
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“not on this thing to find men so might as well make it a business transaction.”
good call — I’d probably wind up getting you pregnant.
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“Right”
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As a professional experienced Realtor, why the fuck would you use Tinder to prospect for leads. Talk about unqualified
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Dating websites are made by computer programmers who don’t know anything about humans. A good dating website is one that doesn’t call itself a dating website, like FaceBook for instance.
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But even facebook has an algorithm that, when you type “Females in local area”, will show you women close to your own age AS IF
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Yeah… no. Most corporations aren’t run by programmers or nerds. Dating websites are a big business.
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Plenty of fish, one of the biggest dating sites, is ran by a computer programmer who started it in his basement. As for the other websites, they don’t succesfully match people, they just attract customers and make money off of ads and memberships. They’re still clueless about human relationships.
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If your site is actually successful at bringing all those rejects you got on there together you’d be out of business very quickly. It’s not supposed to work.
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Well that’s what I thought at first. But a lot of women on these sites don’t care about going out of their house, they log on to get attention. So matching people is quite secondary: the prime objective is to attract people to the site. The business model goes like this: get a lot of traffic, convert it into members, make it addictive like a social network with a lots of stupid chemistry tests, and put ads everywhere. Matching people isn’t really important, you just have to look like you’re doing it.
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She was a 5 when young, now she’s finally a 10.
-10. xD
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“men fall for this?”
winrar
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llzozolzozoozoz
DA GBFM just filed a PATENT FOR A NEW DATING SITE
it is called
it is called
wait fot it
wait foooor it
wait
for
it
wait
calm the fuck down and wait for it!!!
wait for it
the new dating site is called
wait
for
it
ASSBOOK!!!!
lzozozozozozozoz
it would feature photos of buttz and only buttz
no wordz
no nothingz
but just photozz of buttz
so we codn’t have to waste so much time
loking at facesz
lzlzozozozozo
da GBFM gonna be a abilionairesz like mark zuckerzuckerzuckezuckzuckerbeegerer
as everyone will uplaod all their personal data
regarding tehir butt
which facebook has nno patent no patent for
as da GBFM
OWNS THE PATNET
and has cornrned dDA MARKETZZ loolzlozoz
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…
lmfao
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a great feature will be
that you can see
how many asses you have in common
with me!!!
lzozozozoozozozlozozzoz
i have e a feelingz
dat hearrtietetzt heartzitsez and i will have a lot of assesz in commonz
as from his storiesz evertime he taalksz about a girlz idicocarrcy
i says to myself “hey i know dat chick!!! she was on my ididckck dickz!! zlozozoz”
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GBFM 4 KING lzzozozolozoz
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Brilliant idea, assbook.com is already taken since 2001 though.
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fuckit den we’ll call it
assbook.gov
as facebook is prety much run by obamma
anywaysysz
i do aleready own whitehouse.com :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitehouse.com
lzozozoozozozoz
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Reminds me of “Ass – The Movie” from Idiocracy. Zlzzzlolzzzlololzlolzlolz
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About Idiocracy :”The residents are morbidly stupid and lack self-control, speak a degenerate form of English – people who still speak “normal” English are considered “faggots”, and are profoundly anti-intellectual. The “number 1 movie” is called “Ass”, and consists of ninety minutes of a picture of human buttocks with the sounds of farting – the movie won eight Academy Awards, including “Best Screenplay”.
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lzozozozozoz omg zlzozozoozozozoz
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Feministx has already been using it.
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This site is my assbook.
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BIOLOGY 101: You’ll never experience the supreme pain of childbirth [for which your body so desperately aches] unless your man shoots his load in the other hole – the one around front.
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I am flattered that a white nationalist is so invested in my reproductive success. I feel special.
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I want the world to live.
Not die.
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you too zombie. How many have you spawned?
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Indians are the original Aryans. Zombie is, like, wayyy old school.
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Hey Matt, do you have any audio interviews of yourself posted anywhere?
If not, you should consider doing some.
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No, I sound like Gilbert Gottfried with a lisp. It would totally ruin my carefully cultivated aura of urbanity.
I would do one of those silhouette interviews with a voice distorter, though, but my agent tells me that’s a hard sell. I have a face for radio and a voice for comment boxes.
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No, I sound like Gilbert Gottfried with a lisp. It would totally ruin my carefully cultivated aura of urbanity.
Do it anyway, and for the video, use an Xtranormal cartoon of a parrot talking.
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youre so annoying zombie shane. you’re no white nationalist. feministx isnt even white. why do you want more nonwhites being born? doesnt the world have enough? no wn cheers for the opposing team. just look at her. her skin is the colour of poop and she has monkey paws.
[CH: Question for the studio audience: Is this a sneaky troll attempting to undermine the respectability of Le Chateau, or is this a sincere hater gone over the deep end? Answer below.]
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Idiotic troll…OBVI!
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She has a higher-end IQ, and if her white bf knocks her up, the kid could pass for Greek or Sicilian.
Hey, might as well troll back.
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I vote hater drunk on hatorade!
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Nah, that comment was clearly orchestrated by the Jews.
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Either that or, given he used the word “colour”, a Piers Morgan-type Brit tard.
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This site is your disgracebook.
Your face gets my backhand.
Your ass is my drink stand.
(Ew, they shared a bottle…)
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lol. I remind you of that?
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Not really. I just like posting that commercial.
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Red pill = that first time you don’t scroll past GBFM and stop, read and laugh.
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lzlzlzozoz
what i have realzied
is dat some folksz
have been putting the red pill
in der butttz
instead of their mounthz
and thus missing out on
da brilliance of da
GBFM lzlzozozozzlozozo
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Indeed. Apparently reading GBFM ages you 20 years instantaneously. I made some comment about not getting GBFM, and “revealed myself” to be only 23. I wish I were still 23, knowing what I know now. No way I would have ended up with a 5 who grew into a big round 0.
I was taught that the great books for men were all evil conspiracy drivel meant to torture the downtrodden. It never occurred to me that it worked for, what, better than 50,000 years the way things were before feminism fucked it all up.
I second the nomination. GBFM for Prez. lzolzlozlozl
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oh man grew into a O
that’s fucked up yet funny as fuck
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On an unrelated comment, I urge the Houellebecquian author of CH to analyze this show:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/02/blachman-tv-show-features_n_3200768.html
Some questions occur to me on wether it is a positive maket infromation for women on what we dislike, or if it is a sign of the growing european beta population that needs a better man to steer his judgement
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“You’re in luck, I only buy apts from dumb bitches.”
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come check out my house see if you can sell it
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Hey guys, original asker here.
Great replies CH and J-Style especially. Thank you. Having never participated in the site (or any site), I got antsy yesterday and replied/busted with:
(8:21pm, in rapid suggestion):
That hilarious
*That’s
You’re like the homeless ppl at bars/restaurants who sell flowers!
HER (12:21am):
Hmmmm not exactly but sure
Since I’ve said something even more ridiculous, and she’s basically agreed both times, I’m wondering if I just go apeshit and heighten further, or switch gears.
I especially liked CH’s, ““Tell you what. I’ll buy your apt if you buy me a drink.” and feel like I could just say that next. Or do I go bigger?
One thought I had was just riffing as the character I created (aka: her):
“I ain’t here to meet a mannn, I’m here fer biznissssss!”
“Ma’am, you just shit on the floor. I’m calling the police. Also, why is there a tooth in your stool?”
[but this seems like it’s not really building, and clinging that long to a
successful (or at least complied-to) premise this early smacks of try-hard to me. Would probs leave the tooth joke out for brevity’s sake.]
Thanks again
Here’s our the whole convo/sitch thus far, in one place (Sitch: On Tinder, this hot, kinda snobby-seeming 27yo (I’m 28) chick’s info is:
“Not interested in love but if you want to sell or buy apartment… I can be your tinder gal “
We match up, I wait/forget a couple days and message): :
“So wait, you sell only apt’s to guys you think are cute?”
HER 15mins later (2:30 today):
“Ha it’s a joke but w truth, not on this thing to find men so might as well make it a business transaction.”
ME(8:21pm, in rapid succession):
That hilarious
*That’s
You’re like the homeless ppl at bars/restaurants who sell flowers!
HER (12:21am):
Hmmmm not exactly but sure
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“Rough market, huh?”
…
“I love it. Go where the business is.”
…
“New definition of viral marketing.”
…
“How much of your clientele is married men treating an appointment with you like a date?”
…
“What’s your agency fee?”
…
“Are you a full service realtor?”
…
“What do you have for a single guy who just got a salary bump?”
…
“Thinking about upgrading to a view. Anything near the sororities?”
…
“Are you cash up-front, or do I pay at the closing?”
…
“Let’s make this happen. Send me pix/stats of what’s for sale.”
[i.e., riff off the subtle implication that she is a real estate whore (“Do you take credit cards at closing, or do I leave cash on the dresser?”), depending how much she buys into the tease. Increase transparency of double entendres according to buying temperature but preserve plausible deniability. The art of flirting without flirting. When face-to-face, make fun of her/shame her for buying into it. Deadpan moral outrage.]
Matt
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You are a true keyboard jockey. It’s great in theory but if you had any interactions with women online then you’d know that most of your suggestions would result in the woman not getting the joke and proceeding as if you were trying to actually talk about an apartment.
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D’oh. You mean you’re supposed to interact with women and try this stuff on them? I must have skipped that Real Social Dynamics CD.
Well: what do you got, besides a pissy little harrumph and really rad screen name? I missed your suggestions.
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can do neither, criticize.
This stuff works for me. What else can I say? Do you think I’m making wild guesses here? No wonder tools like you declare that all women are trash. The easy cooze at your level are. Just because you don’t get it doesn’t mean that it’s above women’s heads. It might mean that you’re sofa king we Todd Ed.
I don’t doubt that a keyboard jockey to a keyboard jockey who calls himself “PULSOTIC” would have trouble pulling it off. Go back to your mystery method flow charts and street magic and big fish stories.
“The woman not getting the joke” is part of the play, you insufferable scrotal rash. But I’m open to your advice. What would be the Pulsotic Power Move™ in this case?
Matt
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Seriously tho, your replies were terrible. Stick to making fun of us instead of giving game advice lol it’s painful.
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Still waiting to hear devastating counter-suggestions.
How do I know your “game” is of narrow applicability? Because you can’t handle the curve. What’s your angle of approach for the above scenario?
You and your chode-bro haven’t offered anything up for judgment. This is no accident. Women play according to your script because you preselect the psychological runts who literally have holes aching to be filled by par-boiled shtick, posing, and street magic. Everything above your pay grade is “a unicorn.” It’s no wonder you can’t recognize game in other contexts.
Matt
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I’m pretty sure Heartiste nailed it up there. The Original Asker didn’t listen and tried his own crap and fell on his ass. Not a big deal, but now it’s time for him to learn from it and move on to another 10 women. That’s the important part because he’s taking it way too seriously. It’s all a circus, man. The more attractions in your tent the less of a spectacle they each have to be.
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Not really, hysterical fanboy. He broke down the situation well, unpacked, deconstructed, analyzed it with the usual precision.
But the replies weren’t all that special. You’d realize this if you had some sense of independent judgment that didn’t rely on slobbering all over your idol’s cock:
“You’re a dude, I bet.”
“Your business model needs work. Show more skin.”
“this works for you?”
“men fall for this?”Nailed it? Those are interchangeable with mine, throwaway comments in the service of advancing the mission — a mission you can’t grasp or articulate, so you taunt men from the sidelines like a fat cheerleader. You import your butthurtedness into the critique and interpret the same material according to which adviser’s hairy ass you want to smooch.
And I notice you have contributed zilch when it comes to your own bona fide playa wisdom, except by implying qualities about yourself which conveniently can’t be verified.
No, wait, you did say something to the effect of — chicks are dumb, hurh, they, like, don’t get stuff. Pulsoticked!
Yeah.
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@Matt
The problem with your responses is they’re all either letting her run the frame (“agency fee” “rough market” etc.), try-hard bragging (“salary bump”), or asexual (“agency fee”, “viral marketing”, etc.). Your responses might get a reply at best. They won’t get her to suck your dick. I know you have vast ePlaya experience getting replies from the girls on the Chateau but while I know chatting online with girls makes you feel like a super-pimp, it doesn’t translate into actually pulling ass in real life.
Actually this one: “How much of your clientele is married men treating an appointment with you like a date?” isn’t bad. It’s a slight AMOG on other guys, and shows an awareness of her reality. I do a lot of comparing myself to the creepers online when I have to run online game, because the girls are being bombarded with shitty messages from guys and it shows you “get it” when you show you understand what her online experience is like. The rest are no good though.
If it makes you feel better, I’m not a big fan of CH’s responses either, they all either let her set the frame (anything playing into the roleplay she’s set of buyer/seller, which is already a frame where you’re approaching from a place of lower value and she has the “goods” you’re hoping to get), or are too soon in the interaction (not enough value) to intrigue her (“gay”).
CH’s best one is probably “business transaction’ gotcha. Hate to tell you, but I’m not that kinda guy.” and even then I’d reword it a bit if I used it.
All in all this chick would be an uphill battle and probably won’t actually meet up with anyone. She’s there for getting attention/validation…if a magical unicorn alpha badass appeared out of nowhere, she might give him a go after testing him thru the roof, but she already views online guys with contempt by default so it’s really not worth investing much time/energy in this one.
“not on this thing to find men so might as well make it a business transaction.”
Off the top of my head I’d use something offensive and sexual like “ya, I’m not on here to find men either. They keep sending me their wrinkly old-man wang pics. I’m thinking of trying women instead. You should help me with my conversion. I may need to draw a moustache on you the first few times. Unless you can naturally grow one yourself…you ARE an Internet girl after all lol How many cats do you have?” just to force a shit-test and/or emotional reaction out of her and then riff off her response from there.
The main parts of mine are 1) I’m getting out of the buyer/seller dynamic/roleplay as fast as possible so I’m no longer playing into the “chasing her” frame she’s set, 2) I’m future projecting that we’re going to have sex, so there’s no chance of getting friend-zoned in an asexual witty-but-not-going-to-lead-to-sex conversation, 3) it’s turning things around and making her qualify herself on being an “Internet girl” and having cats. It basically forces her to lose her mental footing and play in my reality instead of the other way around that she’s used to.
This kind of thing is congruent to me though. And I would pass whatever shit-test her response contains.
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Okay. Now that you’ve given a crack at something tangible, you understand how lame it comes across the screen in an internet combox.
Or do you?
The point of the text challenge is to build rapport and momentum. That simply does not work on a faceless medium, where you can rely on body language and aura (or the reputation that precedes you) to remind her you aren’t a random weirdo. You have to be reactive in order to “control the frame.” You build on what she says and nudge it in your direction through your replies. Being randomly assertive appears autistic without a presence she can reassure herself with.
In other words, there are no canned replies that get from text to meeting. You have to first lay down the predicate that you are worth responding to, which is why flirt-by-text is so precarious.
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@Matt
“The point of the text challenge is to build rapport and momentum. That simply does not work on a faceless medium, where you can rely on body language and aura (or the reputation that precedes you) to remind her you aren’t a random weirdo.”
Sure it does. I do most of my rapport building via txt messaging. So do other guys I know. You can’t make these claims of “this simply does not work” when tons of us are doing it regularly.
“You have to be reactive in order to “control the frame.” You build on what she says and nudge it in your direction through your replies. Being randomly assertive appears autistic without a presence she can reassure herself with.”
Nope. This is just jockey theory. It’s like guys who think when you approach a girl you have to talk about her outfit or something she’s into because they haven’t tried simply taking over her frame and controlling it and disregarding whatever she’s trying to talk about.
Half the time the girls don’t even remember what they wrote in their profile because they wrote it 400 creepy dick pic messages ago when they were in a fun mood.
Know how I run Internet game? I literally don’t even read their profiles. It doesn’t matter what they write in them, it’s all bullshit. It’s a laundry list of shit they’ll screen a guy for when the guy isn’t interesting enough to captivate their interest and make them ignore their list.
The majority of the online girls I’ve banged have had 3 things in common: 1) I’ve pushed for and gotten their cell number to txt instead of staying online, within 2-5 messages. 2) I’ve ignored their profile and just steamrolled with my own frame/qualifying and forced them to react to me instead of me reacting to them. And 3) They’ve had stuff like “not looking for a booty call, I’m looking for something serious” and “no one under 6′ tall” and “have a car and a job” etc. (I read their profiles AFTER we’ve exchanged a couple messages)
We had a saying back in the day: “PUAs are the exception to the rule” All that shit in their profile is designed to trip up betas and put guys in a frame where they can screen them and make them compete against eachother. “ohh, this guy made a witty joke about my agency fees…but THIS guy made a witty joke about the rough market…hmm, which one of these suitors begging for my approval will I approve of and bless with my attention…”
Here’s Julien from RSD talking about the concept that girls don’t give a shit about whether the conversation is logical or not:
You’re coming from the frame of “it’d be weird if I just changed topics and didn’t play along with what she started with”. Girls don’t think like that, they live in the moment. When you ignore what she’s saying and steamroll with your own (better and more productive for getting the lay) frame, her brain goes “oh, I guess this is what we’re talking about now!” and she plays catch-up.
“You have to first lay down the predicate that you are worth responding to,”
She’s getting 100 messages a day. 50 of those are penis pics, 20 of those are “sup” and “hey”‘s, and the other 30 are guys making “witty” logical comments based on her profile about rough markets and agency fees thinking they’ll stand out.
What stands out and makes her want to respond to you is causing an emotional reaction (good or bad), and having her invest and qualify herself.
“which is why flirt-by-text is so precarious.”
It’s not precarious at all. Like I say, I do a ton of my gaming via txts. Even if I approach the girl live, I do a ton of my comfort/rapport building, flirting, even sexting to having them masturbate for me and set up our first “date” as a booty call, all via txts.
The keys are to control the frame and push the seduction forwards. Most guys get stuck in her frame or a non-productive (ie – won’t lead to sex) frame, and go around in circles instead of moving things forward.
Spend a couple months gaming online girls and pushing for the phone number within the first 3 messages, setting a sexual frame/roleplay/tone within your first 3 messages, pushing to a sexting conversation (and getting titty pics) within 10 messages, and pushing for a meet-up within the first 20 messages. You can get away with moving a lot faster than you’d expect if your game is tight and you understand the dynamics.
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You’re off on one of your conversations with straw men again. “You can’t make these claims…” I didn’t make those claims. ” It’s like guys who think…” I’m not a guy like that, and in any event, I don’t think what you say I think. “Talk about her outfit”? What?
“You know how I run internet game? …” All very interesting and all beside the point. The only reason to “internet game” is to get women off the internet (or text, email, message, chat). Faceless messaging is where women hide. You talk about frame this and frame that. The internet is her frame, no matter what mini-structures you build within it. It becomes an entirely different medium once she has a tangible frame of reference (a physical presence and dynamic meatspace personality) to attach to the messages.
But this is why you and I will always talk past each other. I am not running routines. I am not gaming anything. I am being what I am. That means I flirt with women, not just the ones I want to fuck in a bathroom stall. Ages 7 to 70, ugly and pretty, tall and short, fat and skinny. They are all the same. I do not interact with women I’m interested in differently than I do to those I am not interested in. Because it is all effortless and cost-free. I don’t calculate and make mental connections to video seminars. I talk to people. It works. I am not a miser with my attention as if it were a limited resource. Hoarding your flirts like you’re a precious princess above it all doesn’t make you an aloofalphapua, it makes you an unsociable cunt.
So you see 1/100th of me in internet comboxes and believe you can fill the other 99 with straw of your choosing. That’s just bad perception leading to worse conclusions. I don’t have “vast ePlaya experience,” I just talk with women where they are, under the limitations of the medium. I’m not sarging, dudebro. I am not counting my approaches and putting them into Excel spreadsheets.
I am not interested in your version of advice because I am not interested in the kind of woman it works on. Not that your reason for living isn’t worth all the effort; it just doesn’t require that much effort for me. I would rather discuss challenging scenarios with peers, and this medium is well suited for it. I don’t want to discuss how to get over “approach anxiety” or whatever latest thing is hanging up the newest shlub. I’d rather talk about how you approach these “sets,” the ones without a readymade RSD video with all the answers:
∙ The trophy wife of a bigwig at a fundraiser.
∙ The opposing cute junior lawyer deposing you.
∙ The 20-year-old daughter of a colleague in front of dad/with cooperation of dad.
∙ The internationally famous pop tartlet signing autographs behind a wall of former NFL linemen.
∙ The happy young mom who wouldn’t be caught dead flirting with her husband’s acquaintances.
∙ The cute Eurotrash virgin obsessed with your blog an ocean away.
∙ The bored realtor teasing chumps through a dating app.
These are the challenges/risks/rewards worth discussing with equals. These are not inebriated fish in a barrel; they are deep sea great whites, giant squid, Moby Dick. These are not interchangeable hood rats with “Fuck Close Me” tattooed across their chest.
Any twat with $29.95 can buy Mystery Method, read it eleven times, memorize the glossary, put it to practice, and declare himself a PUA graduate of the University of Himself. You are a gladhanding veteran at the cheapest whorehouse in the world dispensing tips for n00b johns.
Show me how you “Same Night Lay” yourself into an assistant position with a CEO. Or how you “Fuck Close” a ten-million dollar account. Or how you “get digits” to the next big-splash IPO.
And then reduce your wisdom to the space of a single internet combox, while the alpha-mimics swarm you with insecure posturing.
You cannot take your peculiar standards and apply them to me. They just don’t fit. You can try to respect them for what they are, as I respect you for what you are. But you want to prove that you are more valuable than I am, that you are on a worthier mission than those of us with other fish to fry. You want to teach me something that I already know. I am trying to save you the grief, brother.
Matt
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@Matt
Hit a nerve did I? Lol
All you’ve done is shown that you don’t have any txt game. A girl doesn’t need to see you to be attracted. No chick has seen the guy in 50 Shades of Grey. Again, we do this all this time. This isn’t theory for us like it is for you…we are doing this stuff on a regular basis.
All the examples you listed are just standard shit. PUAs have been approaching celebrities, hitting on daughters in front of their parents, making CEOs love them, etc with game for years.
Like that’s your problem, you have so little an actual understanding of game and you’ve never actually gone out and actively sarged to see it in action for yourself, that you think it only applies to a very specific situation (drunk club sluts). You sound just like a woman who says game only works on club sluts because she’s never gone out and used it herself. So to you, the examples you listed are magical great white whales, and to normal guys they are, but to us they’re just Tuesday.
You’re a child building sandcastles bragging to architects and talking down to them like they wouldn’t be able to pack sand and water into a bucket blindfolded lol
You gotta stop believing your own bullshit man. It worked a couple years ago when the only guys around here were guys who didn’t go out and couldn’t tell you were full of shit but the next generation has moved in. We go out, we apply this, we improve at it, we have more experience than you, and your rants are blatantly obvious keyboard jockey mental masturbation to us.
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“You’re a child building sandcastles bragging to architects”
in all my time reading this blog, i dont think i’ve read anybody quite as delusional as yareally.
a little bit of knowledge is a truly dangerous thing, as the old saying goes.
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And here we are once again. You get on your usual loop of asinine assertions about who I really am, rather than articulating a coherent counterpoint through the material available. Lather, rinse, repeat. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
And yet you never talk about these scenarios, much less focus on the challenging cases, even when CH features one. It’s all metrosexuals in skinny jeans and v-necks blabbing in some hotel conference room about stuff every man outside sub-beta SpEd classes gleaned from a normal high school/college experience. If it were “just standard shit,” you definitely would have linked to 12 videos on it by now.
Here’s one instance of how you’re off on your own irrelevant conversation:
Chief, this is not a revelation. Nor is it anything I said or implied. You inferred it just so you could declare yourself superior to it. Meantime it has nothing to do with anything. What I did say was, “Faceless messaging is where women hide. … It becomes an entirely different medium once she has a tangible frame of reference to attach to the messages.”
Now, is it difficult to see the difference between what I said and how you tendentiously interpreted it just to have something to criticize? You are so far up your own ass you cannot analyze anything I say at face value: it is all controversial in your mind simply because I said it. You’re all but admitting you have an unhealthy hard-on for me.
You are more interested in picking stupid fights that nobody can win on this medium, and then declaring yourself the Special Olympics winner. As though your “drawing mustaches” text game (etc. etc. etc. on and on and on) is so self-evidently brilliant and only losers like me can’t see it. As though you are somehow harmed unless I acknowledge your objective awesomeness.
Hey, you keep doing what you’re doing. It doesn’t interest me or affect me. But stop cockblocking my call to better men out of personal insecurity. Or do you have something you just have to prove to me?
Anyway, I’ll end on a conciliatory note if only to keep you from accusing me of “jockeying” and “friendlessness” for the hundredth boring time. I won’t get in your way instructing the newbs, you don’t get in my way discussing advanced theory. I won’t snark on your hand-me-down ideas of morality and politics and culture and society: it’s clear I’m talking to a wall. And you are talking to a wall with me about how my life would be better if I started over in the prepackaged PUA mindset. Like you did.
It’s easy enough not to step on each other’s toes — as long as you stop appointing yourself my impatient mentor and thinking it possible to prove yourself worthy of instructing me. And stop worrying that people will be led astray by my terrible advice. If it’s so terrible, they’ll figure out quickly enough to stop listening to me. Many have. Then everyone would be happy — especially me.
My inquiry is not for general consumption. It is a dog whistle for certain kinds of men, of which you are not one. But you howl anyway. Maybe you are not who I’m looking for because you are superior. Let’s look at it that way, shall we? I think we are both cool with that mutual exclusion. Isn’t it easier to leave me to my lonely existence and obvious stupidity? See, that wasn’t so hard.
Matt
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Have you really been reduced to “well the MMA I’ve never trained didn’t teach me to specifically handle when someone does a jump flipping ninja kick on day 1 so I’m discounting MMA entirely!!”?
Here’s a counter-deal for you:
You stop writing stupid shit and I’ll stop pointing out that you’re writing stupid shit.
Lol
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Served
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Hold up, hold up. I just checked out your website and found this timeless masterpiece. I stand corrected:
http://pulsotic.blogspot.com/2011/11/some-quick-text-game.html
I have to stop slumming down here. This place smells. Like a truckful of Axe Body Spray crashed into a row of Port-a-Johns.
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OMG! King visited my blog. And I didn’t even clean first 😦
Yo all I see is you qualifying. You mad bro?
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You assume I know what your precious term “qualifying” means, PUA.com dork.
Some people live life. Others need a manual full of jargon just to grasp basic shit.
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I imagine you as a retarded Gilbert Gottfried screaming at your monitor in your moms basement when I read your stuff. Basically what you said is that you don’t read the blog that you comment on. Either that or you really are retarded and cannot grasp the concepts. I have another term for you: Beta Rage. It’s that feeling you get when you’re responding to me.
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“Rage” is zero percent of what I feel toward gum stuck to my shoe. Mild irritation would be more descriptive.
Where did you get the “Gilbert Gottfried” idea? You don’t even know when you’re being led or what forces are influencing you. The coolguy pose is incongruous to your herd-thinking, dudebrah.
God bless CH for his infinite patience against niggling critics. It’s exhausting having to correct people on basic stuff, even “To Discourage The Others.” Face it, it doesn’t discourage the others — they’d have to be more self-aware than to notice. If he were more efficient, he’d discriminate up-front. It’s a thankless task, a school janitor constantly throwing sawdust over puke.
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You don’t remember your own comment above? I added “retarded” and made it my own, that must’ve thrown you. That’s the problem with being a pedantic chode-king, you forgot what you wrote.
“I have a face for radio and a voice for comment boxes”
I need say no more than what you already said about yourself.
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Your license to use the word “retarded” to describe people other than yourself has been suspended.
You have to have an ounce of confidence before you attempt self-deprecating irony. That you don’t recognize the most blatant instance of it in others tells me all I need to know about your life of insecure bullshittery.
Now take your pulsotic awesome-o ray and massage your prostate with it. That might stir your vegetable soul into some degree of consciousness.
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@pulsotic
“You don’t remember your own comment above? I added “retarded” and made it my own, that must’ve thrown you. That’s the problem with being a pedantic chode-king, you forgot what you wrote.”
lol… wow, just wow. you are fucking retarded.
it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. better start living by that mantra, shit for brains.
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Your inability to accept defeat in the face of overwhelming superiority leads me to believe that you actually are mentally retarded. I feel like I’m in the audience at the end of Billie Madison.
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You should have stuck to what heartiste said. -10 alpha points for correcting yourself.
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Should have stuck with CH’s suggestions. Now it’s an uphill battle. -10 alpha points for connecting yourself
*correcting
(see, looks retarded)
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posting twice original correct and corrected for no reason lolzoozlzozlozlzozlozl
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give this man 300 cc’s of morphine stat
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Opera mobile FTW
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I’d personally go all or nothing risky and ask if she has the usual rates. If she’s stupid enough to need elaboration quote numbers for HJ BJ sex, anal, etc.
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That’s just stupid…..she’s clearly out trying to rationalize her desire to meet blokes with this ruse. “So do you do anal?” is fucking stupid. Do you ever get laid using crude talk like that? NO….so why talk shit on this forum?
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crude talk can work
so desperate for sex in Iraq online its all I did he he he
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It’s online, so while it has a low sucess rate when you apply it to hundreds of females it helps streamline the process.
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I shake my head at these comments sometimes. Yah, you can act that way and say “so do you do anal?” but what’s the success rate with that level of crudeness? There’s nothing charming, or game-related to it. It’s the nuclear neg. How often does that work in real life? Um…never. Maybe some fat chick will find that an interesting “push”….and hook.
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I would tweak the last response a little to: I prefer doing business w a more professional realtor.
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Too serious….read my reply below. That’s the way to frame this…not in her frame, but in your own….
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Off topic
Went to family court to listen to proceedings. I’m starting my own firm so learning the ropes by demonstration.
I go to a hearing on modifying child custody/visitation. The woman is asking the judge to modify the current schedule cuz she wants “more quality time” with the children aged 4 and 7. The guy is 27 and makes 2400 per month gross, woman is sherrif and probably makes 70k plus. Woman is there with new fiancé (they guy she cheated on the father with) the new guy is also a sheriff. Female hypergamy at its finest.
The man says “I can let her see the kids more as long as my limited time isn’t affected” and the judge starts howling at this young man. Judge says YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS! THIS COURT WILL ACT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN!
No joke my blood boiled. Disgusting. This fucking piece of shit judge yelling at some poor cuckolded man that he has no rights as it pertains to his children. And femcunt ex wants MORE time with her kids meaning less time for the father. Already it’s an 80/20 custody situation.
It turns out this man hasn’t opposed the child support order…he’s been paying her despite her making much more. Ill be retaining this case for the limited purpose of modifying the support order. The court can take the non spousal income into account for purposes of child support which means the woman can potentially have household income of 150k versus his 2300 gross per month.
Ill keep u posted.
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Since you haven’t mentioned it in your comment, I take it it’s a male judge, wich make things even worse.
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When looking forward to the coming horrific war this country will face, in the back of my mind, I think to myself “I hope it doesn’t come to that. I hope we don’t have to cut the throats of every banker, judge, cop and politician in the streets for all to see.”
Then I read a comment such as yours and I welcome it.
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Yeah, I was thinking similar thoughts, which would doubtless attract the attention of Echelon and the FBI and the Secret Service and their ilk.
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The fifth column isn’t quietly waiting in the shadows, they’re already in the positions of power.
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Justice at its finest.
“Family Court” would be an interesting reality show. At least with the right producers. On second thought, scratch that, I know what the mainstream edition would look like.
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He’s already dead in the water. The homeless comment was dumb. Spelling correction unnecessary. Those panties are dry. All further comments will be digging out of a hole.
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Does anyone really ever have any luck with those hookup apps? I’ve tried Highlight and a handful of others too, but the demographics always consists of 8 million Amit Pavel Shamdashomaa whatever kinda names and 40 year old ex porn actresses.
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Lucky me, I was looking for a real estate conslutant
(observe typo)
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Slutastic!
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Punny as fuck. Superb, top notch, perfection. More game like this.
Only so much artistry can be taught. The rest is raw talent, properly midwifed into mastery by experience/apprenticeship. PUA is a misnomer. (But I can see why the luvv scientists eschew “PUS.”) At the limits of technique, creativity must take over. And creativity destroys technique at the upper margins. The most efficient formal training outside of trial-and-error would probably be an improv class.
You can get used to the rhythms of method, but you can never substitute for a complete lack of raw material. Game will maximize The Elephant Man’s potential, but it can only take him so far.
Matt
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Knowing women, that intentional typo will go over their heads 90% of the time. I stole it from Arrested Development (the TV series) actually.
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Along with analrapist and Bob Loblaw Law Blog. Good times.
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WHO THE FUCK ATE MY HARD BOILED EGGS? There’s a new season coming up, but with all the build up and anticipation it’s probably gonna suck.
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Send her a picture of an ugly black dude. Threaten to sue her for discriminatory practices.
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I would share my experiences and defer once again to Krauser for this:
I would reply like this:
“Ahhh so you’re quite the home-maker. Oh…my mother warned me about girls like you…cool and calculating on the outside, sex-crazed maniacs in private. But still you an interesting way about you…I vaguely imagine you cooly sipping a black Russian counting your ill-gotten cash..”
This immediately frames you 1) as confident 2) reframes the whole interaction away from her “joke” about not being on here to meet guys 3) sets up a sexual frame which you bury
She’ll reply in some playful way…. Keep framing her as Ivana Trump…then set something up…
“We’ll go for that Black Russian if you can promise to buy the first round…then let’s talk Real Estate”
She’ll reply. You can take it from there.
I have banged 5 girls using this on OK Cupid.
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Your response is way too long for Tinder.
On OKCupid, sure, you can type an intelligent 3 line message.
On Tinder, about 10 words is the maximum.
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“This chick is on there to meet men, but she’s embarrassed about it and doesn’t have high expectations, so she clowns around to provide herself plausible deniability.”
I’ve found online girls with aloof profiles to be attention-seeking wastes of time.
As in, over 10k messages sent and i’ve only banged girls with sweet type profiles. One was showing a lot of cleavage but looking for ‘something serious’ and was ‘looking for someone to marry’.
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An advice for you, Heartiste.
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The title of this article is “Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Explains Why He Hates Fat Chicks”
http://elitedaily.com/news/world/abercrombie-fitch-ceo-explains-why-he-hates-fat-chicks/
The pitchforks are already out in the feminist sector. As a current MBA student (don’t worry it’s free for me otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it), this is exactly what you want to do. Target a specific segment and attack it. You cannot be all things to all people. But nope, queue up the ad hominem attacks: “After seeing a picture of Mike Jeffries, it can only be concluded that he was never around good-looking people as a kid and is now making up for the glamorous youth he wishes he had.”
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Went to family court today to see a client. This is what I saw:
Dude got divorced by his wife after she got a gig in law enforcement. She started earning 50k to his 35k and thats all she wrote. She had an affair with fellow law enforcement officer and is now engaged to him.
Despite her earning more than him hes paying her a third of his gross income because she has 80 percent custody. However, her earnings have probably shot up so a child support modification is due. The guy is 27, shes 25.
Interesting part is that HE helped her get in with the law enforcement agency. I told him that was a bad bad move as she no longer had any “use” for him once she out earned him.
The hearing consisted of a child custody scheduling when the man said something about “letting her see the kids a bit more” the judge went apeshit screaming YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS! THIS COURT WILL ACT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN!
Family court is a must for anyone thinking about getting married in this country. You have to see first hand the ass reaming men get in these slaughterhouses.
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One of these days, someone is going to start popping family court judges and every one of them will deserve it. Stealing someones kids away from them is easily worse than rape. Nobody has an orgasm when they steal your kids.
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Try -working- for any length of time at family court. It’s a shit show.
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Is there a transcript? That outburst must be grounds for appeal.
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Fellow attorney here:
You need to call the guy’s lawyer and tell him to appeal that.
I work with the corporate crowd but I have to appear before a judge every month or so – if a judge shouted at my client that he had no rights (even in a court of equity) I’d have the complaint filed that afternoon.
Almost makes me want to do pro-bono work for these guys.
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a smart man could make a really nice income starting a nonprofit lawyer network for men
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Nice income in a non-profit? Sounds like an “The Atlantic” article about gorgeous, awesome women in their forties.
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+1 Greatest Beta. I wish you all the best with your practice. I hope you continue posting these stories.
This judge’s anti-father outburst needs to be on youtube. Someone needs to record and post it even it it’s illegal.
I think divorced fathers need a campaign similar to what Mothers Against Drunk Driving used to do. MADD used to post observers in courtrooms and expose judges who were lenient with drunk drivers. Embarrassment works wonders.
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I would say, “Well, I always try to mix business with pleasure. . . .”
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[…] Alpha Assessment: Tinder Love Edition […]
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Nancy Laura Spungen. That picture of her curled around a toilet lying over a large pool of her own blood… Cannot be improved upon.
Even an Ariel Atom lacks that kind of purity.
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The bitch in the original post is looking for FLING IN A BOTTLE! NOW WITH 30 PERCENT MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY!
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if you look at sids arm he wasen’t no addict
dude got murded
then suicide note death pac thing
and look at what the chick said in interview sid was breaking away from her
having people over he wanted to have over and she knew relationship was ending
she prob tried her best to push him over edge and prob stabbed herself or egged him to do it
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Ah Heather… GodDam.
That Bitch did not have to die that night. In that way…Whatever.
Maybe she deserved it. Yes. And so did you.
But not me,babe
I am innocent. Never forget that.
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How would le Chateau rate this text exchange:
Her: Hi Im wondering if you have tought about me, because I have, good night 😉
Me: yes infact I dreamed about you lol.. goodnight :*
Her: be patient, :* :* let’s get to know each other first XOXO
Me: yes, but I forgot to say that dream was a nightmare lol 😉
Her: lol awww ok at least you’ve tought about me! night sweetie :*
Beta? Alpha?
I tried to go for a beta bait switch
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Well you could simply write good night and leave the hamster hanging(best option if you don’t wanna push for a meet up) but if I had to write something
Me: no i didnt , because i was busy invading your thoughts
( notice the subtle push pull)
Or
Me: you were thinking about yourself … Awww you are like a lil schoolgirl…(teasing not my preferred option) let her qualify and then push for a meetup.
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Hugely beta
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beta bait switch. troll.
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Awe shit, you screwed that up….
Her: hi im wondering if you have thought about me because i have good night
Me: I think about myself all the time, cant get enough of myself
that would of changed the dynamic of the convo…
im guessing you havent fucked her, so idk, to me this seems like your in friend zone…
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Move on and control the frame.
Her: Not on this thing to find men..blah blah blah..
Me: Whats wrong…have you had some bad luck with dating lately? You can cry on my shoulder, just dont try and reach in my pocket for my credit card (next statement – 5% down on a 1 bdrm).
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Cyberden
You didn’t do anything, sounds like you told her you thought of her and then suddenly changed your mind.
She’s totally driving this…and you’re in her frame.
the “lol” ‘s are totally gay. You sound like one of her girlfriends.
Better:
Her: Hi Im wondering if you have tought about me, because I have, good night 😉
You: “Who is this?”
You: yes, I thought I could get a minute’s peace from you….
You: Yes, I thought when are you going to stop stalking me…
You: i’m in the middle of thinking what I should have for lunch…any ideas?
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Holy shit this is so tryhard
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Nah, that ‘who is this’ is great. Totally fucks with them.
I personally would have said
‘Yeah, naked’
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@pulsotic good one…
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Did you see how the Democrats are saying that Mark Sanford, who just won the special US House seat election in South Carolina, will now be the “face of the Republican Party that women in the US will see”. They are referring to the fact that a) he cheated on his wife 4 years ago and b) the beyatch who long since divorced him, tried to destroy him three weeks ago by publicly issuing a court order against him for going to her house (the one he earned and had to give to her because of his affair) in January because he didn’t want his youngest son to have to watch the Super Bowl alone.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_1ST_DISTRICT_SOUTH_CAROLINA
So the Democrats are saying that American women will look at the Republican Party with hatred in their hearts because this guy wanted to see his son.
There should be a constitutional amendment barring certain gender war flash points.
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Did you see how the Democrats are saying that Mark Sanford, who just won the special US House seat election in South Carolina,
He must have won the hamster vote.
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lol http://elitedaily.com/news/world/abercrombie-fitch-ceo-explains-why-he-hates-fat-chicks/
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Just came across an absolutely epic epigram on Slate where the whole conflating of “beauty” with “inherent goodness” is flowing on a massive chat board expressing sympathy for Dzhokhar.
“The fouler the tyrant, the more some women want to bed him in the hopes that their sons will have just as much will to dominate.”
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test
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Problem with text game there is no subtext, no way to convey attitude. Other then emoticons, which are gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
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the abominations continue
http://metro.co.uk/2013/04/27/lingerie-firm-launches-womens-underwear-for-men-3669208/
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