I learned this trick during a stint as a roadie for an arena rock band. If you can’t trust advice about women from a rock star bathed in the afterglow of a ███████████ orgy, what dating advice can you trust? So he told me, “█████████████”, and “███████”, and I waited an hour backstage for the follow-up demonstration.
It worked like ███████. I’d seen things, but this moment was revelatory. A full ten minutes into the ██████, the young vixen’s face flushed from ██████ and █████, I was convinced. A safe enough amount of time has passed since that ████████ that I can reveal the secret of the quasi-neoreactionary rock stars to you.
Essentially, it boils down to this one word: ████████. Lead your conversation in this manner, and the dominoes fall in order. Her ███████ will ██████ like an old growth forest, and her ██████ will erupt in a confetti storm of ███████ rupturing all her ███████ until she is █████ in your presence.
I tried it on a red-haired ingenue. Her █████ quickly melted to relieved ██████, and it wasn’t but a half hour later when she was begging me to █████ a line of ████ off her ███. I thought at the time it was a request straight from central ████, a banal cliche, but there are some cliches so █████████ that they are worth experiencing unironically, in all their raunchy ████████. What can I ███? I’m a sucker for sappy pay-offs.
Afterward, she whispered a terse sweet-nothing in my ear:
“█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████████████████ ,”
and I knew right then that this was the girl I would ███████████.
Note: The author has had to redact material in light of recent news that the American government is spying on any and all communication taking place between free citizens. The author regrets this necessity, but believes it a small price to pay to fight terrorism and nativist restrictionists who would shut the borders to the free flow of terrorists.